Depression is Weird.

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[@ARTiculations]

Thanks everyone for the lovely thoughts, feedback and messages of support. I've made a Discord if anyone's interested in further discussions: discord.gg/4DWvahY94U. I'm also more likely to respond there as KZbin comments aren't always the most ideal places for conversation. Thank you!

[@12tone]

One of the hardest things about mental illness is convincing yourself it's not your fault. I'm really glad you found a way to get help and that you're finding your way out of that maze.

[@ARTiculations]

Thanks Cory. I hope you’ve been well. Miss you and Jareth lots. ❤️

[@KhAnubis]

We’re here for you Betty, always and forever

[@ARTiculations]

Thanks Willie you're the best! ❤️

[@CityBeautiful]

I'll always choose to be around you!

[@ARTiculations]

❤️❤️❤️

[@lancelovecraft5913]

Depression dosent follow logic and has no clear cut solution nor cure. I empathize with you fully. I hope you have a support network of friends of family that can help cope I feel that can help tremendously

[@jonathanrouse]

Wow’ I had wondered where you’d gone, I’m glad I didn’t unsubscribe. I hope only the best for you!

[@ARTiculations]

Thank you for sticking around!!! ❤️

[@matthewbenedict5923]

its cool to hear someone explain whats been in my head. thanks Betty

[@MotherBabylon]

Yes, I believe that I suffer from Depression, and I always have that strange feeling in my head, body and other implications in my life. Something who built in yourself without your permission. A void or something similar to this. Sometimes I desire and being reconforted for that feeling, for the state of mind. Depression is weird, I guess or I prefer to undescribe that.

[@Digimer]

Destigmatizing mental health issues is super important. Thank you for this.

[@CinemaScares]

As someone who has dealt with both depression and anxiety, I understand how isolating and confusing it is to feel like your own mind is working against you. But having known other people with mental illnesses I know that I can never fully understand someone else's experience with it. All I can say is that I hope you are okay, that although I've never met you, the world is a better place with you in it and that your videos have been bright spots in my own life. Good luck and take care of yourself, because you are valuable.

[@yajutuladhar1279]

I think realising there are cracks in reality is a huge step. Happy for u. All good wishes ur way. 🌼

[@hectorh.micheos.1717]

Sadly, psychological issues take way to many strange forms that are difficult to identify. One may just need to rest OR something else, and that something else is so deep and so damaging... Good to hear you feel better, as a viewer I cannot offer much, but it is always good to see you.

[@ARTiculations]

You offer SO much you have no idea ❤️

[@KaathKilo]

Best of luck with everything, and take your time. We'll be here for you!

[@garlicslut8878]

Thank you for sharing this, each depression is different but I could relate to a lot of this

[@sofiggy]

Thank you for this. I'm continuing to realize how deep I may be in my own journey and how much there is to hope for at the end of it

[@isaiahalbright7072]

Thank you for being so candid

[@DragonKnight401]

I’m just some random viewer that found your channel but I wanted to say thank you for your videos and everything and I’m cheering for you because I want things to get better for you and everyone else that needs it.

[@Ruby_V_]

I found your description of your experience really interesting. Thank you for having courage to share.

[@zalsader]

Thank you for sharing this, I hope you are getting the support you need. And thank you for speaking out about it.

[@raulsilvagomez7353]

Hey, you're not alone. Having depression or any mental disease is not something to be shamed for. I lived the first 26 years of my life with depression without knowing it. Feeling numb, bored, thinking about dying frequently, etc. Tried reaching out to family and friends and got ignored also but once I took a definitive step towards getting diagnosed and working on myself I've felt in control of my life knowing that this disease doesn't define me, it's not me, just a part of me. I'm still on my way to be better with myself and with others, every day is a step forwards. I applaud your new video and I hope it inspires many more people towarda getting better and I sincerely hope you get better now that you are here on your journey. Can't wait for the new episodes. ❤️ Thank you.

[@dhelms6895]

I had a psychotic episode too. I was leaving a foreign country after a long time and as I left I started hearing voices that were not my own. It was scary. I had TWO episodes. You'd think I would learn from the first one but no I had two. Coming home to a place I recognized settled me. I'm fine now and have never had a problem since. It's just those major transitions when you've invested a whole lot, I think.

[@jimd3911]

Thank you for sharing! You are not alone in feeling this way, but you are unique for speaking up and making your struggle heard. It is appreciated by everyone who watches and has similar thoughts.

[@buffienguyen]

it's really hard to find words of comfort when i'm going through the same thing, but i'm glad you're able to be open and talk about it. it really helps.

[@kallini2002]

Medication. Medication. Medication. Be very careful with it. I would suggest finding meds that don't cause such weight gain. Medication can do a lot of harm, too much, in fact. The worst could be when you are thinking you are doing well. My latest experience with medication was truly horrifying. I thought I had an early onset of Alzheimer because I forgot things normal people wouldn't, struggled with speech (oh, well, I "just" forgot this word). Then I started missing my stops. My vision got blurry (oh, well, I'm "just" getting older after all, it's time for me to get glasses). Then came confusion. With every new symptom, my fear was growing stronger. Then I got to the point of hearing speech but not understanding words. Reading, but not being able to comprehend - I described it as "reading blindness". Of course, nobody understood. For every complaint, others would provide me with another "it's "just" explanation. In the end, there was nothing "just" about it. It was the effect of one specific medication which I've taken for years combined with others. And who prescribed it? Who monitored? Who justified it "as a solution"? I don't know your case and won't presume to ask, but hospitalization tells me things are serious. I never knew that psychosis comes with depression as well (to me, it is more characteristic of mania), but regardless of on what end of mood dysregulation spectrum it occurs, psychosis is a serious symptom. My heart goes out to you. I lived with depression from being 10 to 35 and managed until I got "help" from phychiatric profession 15 years ago. Then my life went to the dogs. The worst part of it is when I think I'm doing well. Because when I'm unwell and know that I'm unwell, it's a realistic judgement. When I think I'm well, I'm unwell because my judgment is impaired. Yes, I'm happy and have energy, but I lose my good reason. So, after so many years of being "helped" I am settling for living rather with depression than with "medicated happiness". Although my depression is still medicated. To me, it's the "whatever" state. I don't have feelings, I don't have healthy anxiety, I have no motivation, no fear. I simply don't care. I'm sharing my story not because I expect many to relate or believe but because if it helps one person to better deal with psychiatrists and medication, to approach treatment with due awareness, to never have blind trust in anyone's opinion - authority or not, it's worth all this typing at 5 in the morning. I have a friend in a similar situation and when I tell her about my experience and conclusions she calls me negative only to tell me two years later that I was right. Right now we both try to get off meds - a process which comes with a bunch of "lovely" side effects. For me, it's getting off the medication that caused the weight gain which I have to deal with as soon as I can. Not something I'm happy with, but accept as a fraction of price for curing early Alzheimer's that was not there. Hers are worse. You probably was advised on benefits of keeping a diary. What helped us both was corresponding for a year via e-mail because it's a type of a diary that is there in a written and accessible form. You have to be able to come back and read what was a year ago, what you thought a year ago. The big picture will reveal itself over time. It's "just" the small changes are hard to notice. Only in retrospect and if they are not documented, memories would be false. Good luck and I hope you'll never get to living a tragic life like mine. You are not alone. BTW, the COVID situation, it became noticeable that people are not the same. There is some mental decline, some overall minor depression whether people realize it or not. I'll sign off with a joke (hopefully you get it right the first time as opposed to people seeing my humour as working best "the next day"): "only an insane person will admit to a mental illness".

[@ARTiculations]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I share your feeling about not wanting to be dependent on medication. In a way, I do think medication is 90% why I’m better, the other 10% being psychotherapy and having a great support network. However, I still think side effects of medication are sometimes not just unhelpful but make things worse. One drug I got off early on was anti-anxiety medication. It was definitely effective in addressing anxiety but made me feel like a zombie all the time and sleep for 16-20 hours a day. Plus it could get incredibly addictive and cause a lot of long term problems. I definitely agree while doctors are very knowledgeable, we shouldn’t be afraid to question their authority. I do however also think in retrospect I sometimes should have listened to my doctors more. Anyway, Thank you again for sharing your story with me, it means so much more than you may even realize. ❤️

[@tommyvercetti7]

The way you describe depression is so perfect; especially the section with the excuses for behaviours!

[@NateVolker]

I admire and appreciate the courage it must have taken to create and publish this video. Thank you.

[@pigsareit]

Yea I agree that depression is really complex, a lot of facets that materialise it. In a similar way to say that one may be 'happy' , their happiness is not caused by just one facet, it's many things that all combine in towards the realm of that emotion... That is to say, depression is a realm that has depth. There were several direct root causes of my depression, I think firstly I am genetically predisposed to it (my father has depression, my sister has depression, my grandmother had depression, my uncle had depression); secondly I strongly need a cause and a motivation in my life, projects and work help with this; thirdly whether I like to admit it or not I am affected by the seasons, if it is too dark, stormy and cold not only do I feel it physically in my shoulders and my bones, but I feel it mentally like a shroud over my senses; fourthly I am affected by too many thoughts and do need breaks every now and then from all these stressors; fifthly I am affected by the sadness of others, and need to reconcile those thoughts effectively with time but also good sleep (your dreams are a tool your brain uses to find the simplified meaning of events, that's why they are usually just 'basic elements' and the rest is blurred out); sixthly even though I describe myself as an introvert I am also affected by isolation and loneliness, and I enjoy being social with my friends (if that's just playing Jackbox Party Pack games online with my friends with Discord voice chat, that's better than nothing). And there's probably other facets too that I haven't quantified yet. Vitamins seem to play some part, but it's hard to say what. I've read that b12 deficiency is extremely easy to have if you have a simplistic diet (not many proteins, for example), and that b12 deficiency affects your mental health. But that's hard to say. Also agreed that spacetime is complex. That is a big thing to think about. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad to know you are doing better. Rootin for you!

[@ARTiculations]

This is so thoughtful thank you. So nice to hear from someone who has had such similar experiences to myself. ❤️

[@kibrika]

Thank you for sharing that! I was losing concentration and got something like a fog in my mind when trying to study, and I was sleeping 12+ hours a day. Depression never even crossed my mind, I wasn't numb or sad, and the only time I thought about dying was because I was trying to empathise with an unwell friend. I feel lucky my doctor prescribed mind drugs (sorry, I have already forgotten what they were specifically and don't know what to call them that doesn't sound like a children's book description) and they worked, so then I knew I had to find a therapist, and that helped.

[@melm4251]

welcome back

[@lisazoria2709]

Ah yes. The random psychosis and time warping that can pop up with depression. Been there. Really wish someone had warned me about that stuff. Depression is such a complex illness, there's so much about it most people don't understand. Thanks for making this video and spreading awareness.

[@ARTiculations]

I honestly had never even heard the word psychosis before so I was like ultra-confused, not that I wasn’t confused enough already with all the memory loss and distorted time warps 😆

[@lukegreen4662]

Thank you so much for this. I am in architecture school and this is how I've felt for years now. No one has explained my experience with depression as accurate as you just did and it helps to hear someone else has experienced it in a similar way. I was literally watching your videos on modern architecture for a research paper and then stumbled upon this. Thank you so much.

[@sharifsircar]

All the best! I was doing a little subscriber spring cleaning, and left this channel out since I actually like the content, no matter the upload frequency. Seems like it isn't clear cut, in my case with something else, it was all the logical red flags over the years, and talking to good positive support from friends in the past 2 years, finally the tipping point being this pandemic. Decided to get help and it's the best thing I did for myself

[@cidmatrix9643]

Thanks for sharing. Speaking up about depression is hard

[@ekileskil]

Wonderful to see you back again :-)

[@SERGIO.897]

It's nice to hear you thoughts about such a delicate issue. I really hope you feel better.

[@ByteMe619]

this rings a lot of bells. I hope you’re getting better, and I can’t wait to see new videos from you

[@PaulPrins]

This sounds familiar to me. I've attempted suicide twice, and struggled with severe depression for years. A combination of medication, therapy, and giving a lot of time to learning myself, my body, and how to disrupt depressing patterns as helped me get to a more balanced place. I don't talk a lot about it anymore, but my depression is still a part of my life that requires daily attention. I don't know the journey or path before you, but want to encourage you to keep moving forward. You are lovely, and I've been enjoying your videos for years. Thanks for choosing to be honest and vulnerable.

[@MrStudioso]

Thank you for sharing. I find that your knack for articulating these thoughts so well helped me a lot.

[@christineschmidt1025]

I came across your video and I get you. I've never been as depressed as I am now due to medical issues and a mix of a pandemic holding my healing back. It's good you talk about it. I think more people are understanding depression these days....and that memory loss, I"m getting that too. Hang in there, and sending healing wishes your way.

[@annonymous9063]

OMG! I have never heard depression so well explained. Thank you so much for sharing. this helped me understand more of the symptoms. So much guilt fear and confusion comes with this health challenge.

[@kenelmpijay]

You did so well with this video. I'm looking forward to learning more about architecture, art and design from you.

[@SE013]

I'm glad to see you back. The way you talk about your depression is as revelatory and personal as all your other videos on art. Thank you for sharing. Please take as much time as you need. I'm sure this community will want to help you in any way possible!

[@davidtraugot1405]

Thank you for your courage and clarity in speaking about your experience. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been. Blessings and best wishes for you and your loved ones!

[@thombanks8716]

Betty, Good to see you posting again. Thanks for sharing this and glad things are getting...better.

[@massimechoub3343]

Thanks you for this video...you just make me realize that I was like that for a year or so...wish the best for you and everyone who pass through.

[@mr51406]

I’m so glad you’re still there. I’ve been through a similar path. And your videos have helped me. Talking about it openly and time will both help you. I totally admire your courage. Things will be different and then they will be better. I’m sending you love and support. You’re beautiful. 🌹🖖🏼

[@YusssoM]

Currently going through this as well, and you are completely right. I have this feeling of like knowing what should i do but still i don't do it and get depressed, it's weird and i really don't know how to tell my parents or my close friend about it, they really want to help but idk how to explain it. I hope we can solve it someday..

[@SageThyme23]

I can't stop watching this, Its like the only time i have seen someone talk about depression similar to mine. Not all of it is the same of course but what you said about time and focus really struck me

[@teimperialsenate8160]

Thank you for taking the time to talk about your experiences to the internet. Very helpful. To be honest, I’ve felt something these last few years that sounds like what you’ve gone through, but never really acknowledged it until earlier this year. Felt like I was just a hopeless mess, caught doing life entirely wrong. While it’s terrible that you’ve had to experience depression, I thank you so much for perhaps giving me something that I needed to find the path to recovery. Wish you all of the best, you’re a wonderful person!

[@sabihashaikh6180]

I'm so glad you shared that openly.Just advised someone who was undergoing depression.This has become more rampant following the pandemic.God bless you and know you'll fight it head on.Just happened to see three of your KZbin videos searching for the meaning of docent.loved your bubbly self 6 years ago and am sure you'll be fine soon.all the best.

[@pikminlord343]

Thank you for sharing your experience

[@LukenUSee]

As a newcomer to your channel, I'm enjoying your content and find it very interesting, informative, and thought-provoking. I wish you the very best in your journey!

[@TristouMTL]

What a lovely essay on depression! You're always so thoughtful in your videos, and you are eloquent and clever while always remaining... hmmm... honest. I don't think many people would be willing or even capable of being so thorough when they point the camera to themselves. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@MsDafiM]

I'm always glad to see notifications about your videos and hearing your thoughts, art related or not. Thanks for sharing, Betty. I'm really glad you're feeling better and you have support around you. That does sound really scary and I've never heard this perspective about depression before, so I'm very grateful that you shared it. Stay safe 💜

[@ARTiculations]

Thanks Dafi. Miss you and hope you are doing well. ❤️

[@Aeuri]

This was very touching and was both hard to listen to and also was reassuring. Your mind may not let you believe this sometimes, but you make the world a better place, and you bring hope and inspiration to so many people, me included. As a random internet stranger, I care about you as much as any random internet stranger could, and I'll always be here supporting you.

[@jajssblue]

Thank you for sharing this reality in such a generous and honest way. Depression is such a weird and invisible beast. It's really hard to know you're in the thick of it until it is just dominating everything about your life. Thanks for the update and best of luck!

[@janedoe3043]

The type of people that can get depression are all people. I don't know how to get out of it myself but it is glad you can find a way through the dissociative aspects of it. I get deeper and deeper.

[@GlennNiesen]

Depression SUCKS. Good for you for you for speaking out about it. It will help those who’ve felt the same way but didn’t know exactly what it was. You got this!

[@airbendingseneca]

It feels good to see you again.

[@agustinvenegas5238]

at the very least i'm glad you're feeling better, take your time we're going to still be here when you're ready

[@ManuelRego]

Nice to see you back here :D

[@brianshannon7821]

Thanks for the perspective and attempting to put this into words even though it is next to impossible to accurately describe what you experienced. Thanks for telling your story - every one we see helps destigmatize depression and mental health in general. NOT a personal failing - a disease. Thanks again

[@croissant420]

I'm so sorry. Please take your time... I hope you're doing well sooner or later

[@mauritiusdunfagel9473]

You’re an insightful, Betty! Fear, agoraphobia and feelings of displacement are the operative words in depression.

[@KannikCat]

Thank you for your generous and vulnerable sharing of this with us all. I wish you all the best and stand by your side in support!

[@ARTiculations]

Thanks Oliver! Hope you’re doing well. Are you able to come home and visit family this holiday or do you think you have to stay in the US?

[@KannikCat]

@@ARTiculations Alas no visit home for me this year, out of an abundance of prudence, so it will be me and my cat as it's been for 8 months. :P But I'll do a bunch of virtual gatherings with friends and family, so hopefully at least I can get a webcam pointed towards some snow for a limited taste of true winter. How is the situation in TO right now?

[@ARTiculations]

TO is meh right now. High numbers of cases too and hospitals close to overwhelmed. But I think most people are staying home. You should join my discord if you’re interested. I might host a virtual holiday party there. discord.gg/4DWvahY94U

[@_ch1pset]

When I started having those kinds of problems, when I would try to talk to the people I depended on(my parents), I would be met with aggressive belittling. I wasn't tired all the time, I was just lazy. I wasn't failing classes because I couldn't focus, I just wasn't trying hard enough. I had been experiencing those symptoms for years before they got so bad that I couldn't even talk to my parents without breaking down crying... as a 21 year old man. Only when it got so bad did my mom take it seriously. She wound up taking me to a therapist, who in turn recommended I get medication. I decided to go to my PCP, but when I tried to schedule an appointment, they just told me to go to the hospital. So I did that day, but I had to do it alone. When I stepped into the hospital, seemingly perfectly healthy, it felt like I was committing a crime. Like, I didn't belong there, I had no reason to be there. But I also felt like it was my only option. To this day, I'm glad I made that decision. I think it saved my life. I don't know how much longer I could have gone in that mental state. It is rough, and depression isn't an easy thing to spot early.

[@ARTiculations]

I’m so sorry your had to experience that. I totally get what you mean feeling like your don’t belong in the hospital even when you really do. My parents were like so confused and in disbelief when I called them from the hospital. “Omg what’s wrong?” “I’m admitted in here for depression.” “...what? They admit people for that?” Anyway since then they have really taken it seriously though which is comforting. However it just further places emphasis on how important it is to take your own action. I hope you’re doing well too in your personal journey. ❤️

[@_ch1pset]

@@ARTiculations I'm doing a lot better, even during the pandemic I am able to cope without medication. I learned as much as I could about what triggered my symptoms and have been managing since I got off meds about 4 years ago. It hasn't been perfect, but I'm doing well in that regard. Only problem I have now is I don't have insurance, I aged out of my parents coverage so I'm having to manage without that crutch. It's hopefully temporary until I get my next job. I'm just happy to share my story in the hopes that someone reads it and makes a life-saving decision from it, and I'm happy that you shared your story. I wish more people would be open about mental illness, and less dismissive.

[@TheKingSamurai]

Hi I am super glad to hear that you seem to be better. Hopefully it will get better and better all in all. Personally I can relate to som of the things you say. I am young and studie architecture and it have been really stressful for a few years. Recently I have been having experiences similar to what you describe. Really tired, time flyes, i have been thinking about my own death a lot more and a lot of intressts felt difficult. I was very worried and had troubles motivating myself. Sometimes wondering a lot if I recently have become really lazy or what the matter is. I am better now but sometimes I just wish I could take a break, but at the same time I worrie about losing time and wasting my potential. Sorry for going on a rant about myself. Glad you are better and the videos you make are great! //Random architect student

[@ARTiculations]

Thank you. I always welcome thoughtful responses to this video and I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing yours.

[@TedMosbey100]

I'm so happy to hear back from you! I believe you had posted around 2 years ago that you wanted to hear some uplifting news from us; and it was the first time I wrote about myself, that I wasn't feeling so well too. I've since gone much much better, thanks to me acknowledging that I wasn't who I used to be and seeing a professional. Thats thanks to you !

[@ARTiculations]

That is so wonderful to hear. Going out and seeking professional help is a very brave and resilient thing to do. Good for you and happy to be going through this journey together. ❤️

[@TedMosbey100]

@@ARTiculations Yeah, the first step is so hard, as you said. Thanks again for that video, I felt as if you talked to me, personally. You have real talent!

[@albertosanchez276]

thanks for sharing this important topic

[@dragoncurveenthusiast]

I don't know you, but I am so glad to hear you are on your way out of that maze. Please take care of yourself! Sending hugs.

[@blurryme6915]

pls dont be sad betty, you're my idol and gave me hope and something to watch during free time. You are a great person!

[@cyrilio]

This sounds so true to me. Felt like this al the time and just didn’t know what normal was anymore.

[@nicekid76]

Thanks for making this. Much appreciated. Really good analogy of what it feels like. Not sure why so many people are ready to discount people's experience when they say they have or are depressed?

[@ARTiculations]

Thanks friend! Hope you’ve been well. It definitely is hard to be taken seriously not just by people in general but also medical professionals. Honestly I didn’t even know I had depression I just went to the doctor saying my brain is broken. Which is not the most helpful comment I admit, but hey I’m not a doctor how could I possibly know what the proper clinical terms are.

[@RoraighPrice]

whoever you are it's brave to talk about how you're not doing ok.

[@onezerotwo]

ah yes I have been to the bottom of that depression pit. Glad you found support and clawed your way out of there.

[@anywiebs]

Thanks for sharing. A big virtual hug coming your way!

[@ARTiculations]

Thanks girl. *big hugs back* ❤️

[@desertpolarbear]

Depression is weird, like walking into an MC Escher maze. You get more and more lost because we are somehow conditioned that we can get out on our own, only to fall deeper into it.

[@aaronpoole5531]

Depression is an odd experience... when I was 16 during my end of secondary school exams I completely buckled. It took a couple years of various therapy to start feeling better but I understand how you feel!

[@berlinmotv1979]

I am glad you are back, a warm welcome from Germany :)

[@jtuck07]

Thank you for this

[@danangputratiarno5028]

We all know that we are all facing our own depressions. It's a common thing that can be felt by almost everyone, despite that the depression feels different on every people. Well, for me, real life is already depressing in on itself. What can I do is to survive and find solutions to overcome the depression despite another depression will come after me.

[@interstatehighwayfan_645]

I feel you I have gone through this before

[@ARTiculations]

💙💙💙

[@interstatehighwayfan_645]

No you haven’t ethan

[@user-rs2qm1tz3z]

Thank you for sharing this! to everyone reading this: you are worthy and cool; don't forget that. also, dont forget to drink water & ask for help when you need it. it's diffcult to do that, but i believe in you. have a nice one💛

[@willemvandebeek]

To be fair; this entire timeline of our current universe is weird... :-/ I am glad you shared this video with us, I have missed your videos and I am looking forward to more of these, even if they aren't the best of news. I hope you will find your way out of this maze and if I can help somehow, please ask. :)

[@ARTiculations]

Thank you Willem! Honestly these days I’m always like IS THIS REAL LIFE??!! but it’s helpful when others see and feel the same way so at least we’re all in this madness together 😆

[@SimonGreen85]

Antidepressants and weight gain is a pain in the ass. Being in lockdown for a pandemic is doubling down! I've been on meds for several years and been seeing a psychologist. It's always hard but thing do get better.

[@ARTiculations]

Yeah I gained my “COVID” “19” within like a month, then another 15 pounds even after I lowered my dosage to the smallest amount possible. I still prefer being overweight than depressed of course - but it still sucks. Hope you’re doing well ❤️

[@alexdesa8676]

hey, I never comment on your videos, but I wanted to say thanks for sharing that with the world. We see you

[@zozzy4630]

Woah, awesome to see KhAnubis, City Beautiful, and 12Tone right at the top of the comments! Maybe it's just the parasocial relationships talking, but I think you're in good hands :)

[@ARTiculations]

Thanks!! Everyone and many of my friends have been so amazing it makes me feel so supported. ❤️

[@SeptemberManHey]

very well said.

[@LongshanMusic]

Great description of depression.

[@punya1621]

Welcome back!

[@donnallycaia]

Wow. Thank you for the share. Articulating depression is no easy feat. Keep chasing fireflies

[@ZidaneRealMadrid5]

We support you Betty! Sun will rise shinny and warmer than ever ^^

[@KinGoFCurseZ]

I am very deep depression and I thought always die my mind

[@AdamMansbridge]

Thank you. Depression is weird, it comes unexpectedly, it is like the flu but mental not fever

[@GabrielKnightz]

It's kind of like trying explain the colour blue to a blind person. I hope it gets better for you.

[@supermatx]

So, after a few months, wondering what happened to ARTiculations, I decided to move forward and maybe check if that video about modern architecture might tingle me some new ideas. Finally, a new video! Check the title. I cannot be happy, yet I know that long silences in the Internet are usually the fore bearers of dark news, I cannot honestly say that I was shocked or surprised. I'm aware that most of what I will now write may seem sappy or cliché. Yet I honestly believe in its sincerity, and its importance. So, first things first: I'm sad to hear the news of this diagnosis, but at the same time I'm happy to see that you're OK, still with us and willing to move forward. I must commend you for your bravery, for life has taught me that there is No Stronger Person than he/she who is One with their weakness. I know a thing or two about depression (part time reading, part time family history and other personal stuff that I don't believe will add to my point) and what I've learnt and I'm glad that you see it too is that there aren't definitive answers, solutions or 'hard' knowledge' of how it works.Sure, there are things to do, ways to live with it, maybe sometimes even 'heal' it, but we cannot say anything that is absolute. In the long run, the only answers will be your answers and only you can craft the tools to make the best out of all of this. I know some people accomplish this by affirming their purpose, and I can talk about that about you without any reservations. Let me tell you why you and your work matters to me. Just some background: I'm about to finish college to get my Engineering degree in electrics and mechanics, not too near to industrial design, but not too far, wouldn't you agree? In a medium-sized city in South America, mid-Atlantic-ish climate, summers in January. Between all the numbers, the crunching, hard choices, 3D bodies I make up in my mind and trying to find the 'right' number (for in technical matters, I'm forced to assume that there is only one 'right' value) it'd easy for me to view all I make as monotonous, with no spice to it, sometimes with no meaning. I usually must go above, get culture from other places and that's where creators like you kick in. You remind of new ways design impacts people, how design and art are important to us as a species and most of all, just new ideas from a much needed fresh and different perspective. I usually share your videos with a friend of mine who is already working as a civil engineer and we can have debates for hours about if we agree or not with you (hey, you generate new debates! For people who you didn't even meet! That's really cool!). I'm currently designing a waste processing machine, that may (or may not!) really help out a whole groups of towns in which that waste represents harm to their communities, it may also (or may also not!) reduce pollution and produce raw materials to optimize food production and other industries. Could I make the whole machine without any of your input? Sure. Will it accomplish its supposed function? Probably. But it wouldn't have that subtle spice and flavor that only comes comes with a whole perspective in Design and art born only from finishing your work for the day, chill a little and have fun just acquiring culture from every perspective as possible. Of course, not only you, it's you and people you're smart to have already met and get to know their work: people like CGP Grey, Veritasium, and much more from that beautiful community that I can assure wouldn't be the same without you. You add that to me, to my work and to my colleagues. And I can only speak for myself. I cannot talk for a whole generation of millennials from all walk of life , from any part of the globe who for one reason or another prefer or depend on your KZbin format to either to have fun, start learning a new topic or sometimes just get new stuff to talk about! Please, I know that you won't but I must emphasize that I hope that you won't take any of what I said as a "Call for Duty" or anything like that. Now the algorithm might have messed everything up (that's a whole other story) with the schedule and update regularity, but it's safe to say (for my case at least) that good content that I value is such because of the honesty and passion from creators investing tons of time (yet clearly having fun!) to make something and talk about stuff we both really care. So yeah, as in depression, it's important for you to find that time, and only you can find the answer on what is the right amount or way to to it. Only that way you'll always love what you do, I will be the happiest every time I press play and the impact of what you make will be ever lasting. And I swear, you're definitely worth the time Betty, you're worth it.

[@ARTiculations]

Juan thank you. I have read your comment over and over already and it means so much to me. ❤️

[@numeroseis]

Diagnosing a state of mind or a continuous experience as 'depression' doesn't change how that experience feels like. I'd rather say a person _is depressed_ than that they _have depression_ . The latter implies there's one objective and well-delimited illness that is always similarly shared by different people. It's as if doctors are the ones explaining one's feelings to them. It should be the opposite: nobody knows what you go through better than you do; giving it a fancy ICD/DSM name provides nothing but an empty explanation. Does it really matter to a patient wether their 'psychosis' could've been possible during their depression? Each case is unique, and, in the absence of a main organic cause (like hormonal dysfunctions), drugs don't address the root of the issue, even though they can be useful. There's this belief that, because we may show similar symptoms, we go through and experience the same illness, and there's also an eagerness to find a reliable other who can tell us how we feel, what to do, and give meaning to our confusion. But neither others nor doctors can explain how you feel, only you can. That's why treatment shouldn't be about someone telling you about yourself but, rather, getting _you_ to tell ( _you_ ) about yourself. This doesn't mean hearing experiences from others who've felt depressed is useless, but their issues usually require different strategies and solutions than ours. Nor does it mean we are alone in our suffering and existence; we should always seek others for help and help others, because our problems are never truly individual. But each of our experiences is singular and unique: that's why 'depression' isn't complex, people are! I admire you, Betty. Your videos, your content, you really are a gem in the chaos of youtube. Thank you for all your videos, and I'll support you on whatever else comes next! :)

[@ARTiculations]

You said it so well Mike! This illness is so complex and unique to the individual it almost feels meaningless to give it a defined name. Really for awhile I just said “my brain is sick” which sounds like I have a tumour or something but it was the best way to describe it I could think of. For the longest time I kept on asking my doctor “what’s wrong with me” and was so frustrated he wouldn’t tell me until I realized much later it’s more like he couldn’t tell me. And now I’m only beginning to construct my own framework in order to understand my own mind. Thanks Mike. Your thoughts have been very helpful ❤️

[@wilchami]

You articulate it far better than all the dry medical literature ever did. Be well and take care.

[@kwesibruno]

Celeste Feliin's best friend.

[@theotherway1639]

There's a helpful mindfulness guide titled "30 Days to Reduce Depression" by Harper Daniels, found online...I recommend it. Pass it on!