Depression, Suicide and the Power of Hope | Gill Hayes | TEDxExeter

[@mallory5872]

People who call suicide cases "selfish" and "cowardly" can't even give the person a break when they're dead. The people who said this about my friend were the ones who bullied her when she was alive. Give it a rest.

[@beckyweaver5981]

mallory Those bullies need to experience major depression. And her departed spirit KNOWS what they’re saying from the other side. Where she is HEALTHY HAPPY & HEALED!

[@SF-wr4zn]

Jonathon there is no easy way! You think it’s “EASY” for someone to actually go through the process of taking their own life? Have some compassion 🙏

[@Calpsotoma]

This is pretty funny because I think of myself as being a coward for not doing it and being selfish for keep taking everyone's time and money.

[@src3360]

Duck Lover Yes I do, as I stated. It’s much easier to die and be finished than to carry on living and TRYING to get better

[@mallory5872]

Jonathon So, you win arguement. Be blessed.

[@muzerhythm2242]

What REALLY frustrates me with so many videos discussing depression is that they say they Finally come out of hiding it and shared with family and friends and find this Great outpouring of support.😞 Hate to say it but the REALITY is that 99% percent of us that are diagnosed DON'T get the support (and this wasn't just me, I found MANY people in support groups I've attended in the past dealt with same thing). What story I would LOVE to hear is how someone overcame depression with very minimal support....ONLY then will I be inspired and share the story. If that only person be me...then I will do it.

[@jessamaribotial1173]

I'm clinically diagnosed with depression too and today is my last day meaning I will end things today, my family don't know anything about it, I think killing myself is the only way I can be free from my own misery

[@joydot7620]

@@jessamaribotial1173 i don't believe we are here to fulfil others lives - means you are free to do as you please yet sometimes the obligations/ expectations/ put ons of others get in the way of doing what we need most for ourself. its tricky to work out what the manufactured limitations are but we have to. i like the scene in the piano where woman is drowning at her own hand, then clearly sees she wants to live and throws away all expectation/ choses to do things her own way/ differently, guilt free, and is happy. this has been a long, challenging couple of years, even for normally cheerful, industrious me - media has played a role in that. don't assume its you. maybe before calling it a day make a list of what you love, hope for, spend some time imagining how to make it happen and make sure you discuss this stuff with people - even if its some wise old pensioner at a bustop. it would be terrible to close off your life without taking that step

[@MrJusticefight]

@@jessamaribotial1173 are you still with us? if yes then thanks for being brave :)

[@jessamaribotial1173]

@@MrJusticefight yes, I'm still here, alive I'll try my best to conquer my depression and heal

[@RotterStudios]

JessaMari Botial don’t !!!!

[@chgofirefighter]

When you’re truly depressed even hope seems hopeless

[@kemarblake1854]

So true

[@EileenOR]

Poignantly said. :)

[@guitrain]

You got it

[@parispoet]

You are so right.

[@DLPfan-km8dc]

Damn right why live a life of misery if you cant be happy

[@babbaruff1045]

Depression is so extremely painful, I'm struggling so much and feel so alone. People really don't want to be around you when you're depressed, it is the loneliest feeling on earth 😞

[@user-ci7vu7eo9w]

true.i have it too,people dont want to be friends with me becouse im always sad and boring

[@pankocka4623]

wow cry me a river

[@EileenOR]

@@pankocka4623 Wow, you must have terribly hurt at a very young age to be so much more comfortable with contempt than compassion. That is truly sad.

[@Riya-mb2cv]

True

[@marktravis793]

I am the same. I don't want to get out of bed ever. I am hopeless most days

[@4321elzzird]

When people ask me "how are you doing?, or "hows life"? I answer with "you want the truth or a generic answer"?

[@Lolly4twDasOrginal]

my answer is "as always" and if they reply like "oh good" or so, they get corrected if they dont want to hear the truth they shouldnt ask last month i designed a shirt, a light blue, like the sky, and in the shape and in the colors of the rainbow it says "i´d wish i´d be dead" people are blind

[@nancyinthegarden3160]

4321elzzird How r you doing? For real

[@jwm6668]

When you do answer truthfully it's usually unexpected. I totally understand. It seems to be common in our culture to just say, "I'm well thank you. How are you?" It doesn't matter if you're so depressed you can't breathe, or so ill you can't think straight. You just keep moving, and keep doing, and to the outside world...you're "fine."

[@stevestarr9769]

I do the same thing. "Do you REALLY want to know?'

[@joecho1427]

G.A.

[@rrezartadeucha504]

This brought me to tears. Depression is truly debilitating

[@jbaby007]

I'm suicidal because my spirit is stifled. The idea of a 9-5, 40 hour work week, not fulfilling my true potential, living for the dollar, makes me depressed.

[@GS-cg3yn]

jbaby007 I understand, all too well.

[@mk2mister2]

jbaby007 Have you contemplated turning your passion into a full-time position and be your own boss? I'm working on that now. It's working well but my depression is stifling me. But I know this is the right path and it will eventually go away.

[@Mundus-vult-decipi]

I think one day I will end up homeless because I can’t follow society and follow a robotic 9-5 life

[@Serkant75]

Make something which is fulfilling. An hobby as work would be great. Damnit

[@Serkant75]

I m a psychiatrist and have social anxiety and depression

[@JillyBean1968]

WOW this was so powerful!!! I read someone’s comment below that she succumbed to her depression and took her life in 2021. My heart breaks. RIP Angel.

[@GrahamCroft]

I had seen this video before and thought what a brave lady. Learning she did take her life, I'm left with a feeling I don't know where to put it.

[@murtazaarif6507]

Sadly her depression took the best of her and she committed suicide in 2021. Her clarity and understanding shows how real suicidal tendencies are because after all that she took her own life. I have been on a similar road. As somebody on the 'Autistic Spectrum Disorder' ASD I am also recovering from depression. My advice for others is to look inside yourself in the child within you. The true self or soul that we are. That child in you does not deserve that. Photos of myself as a toddler help me in finding that peace. Above all I put my faith in my creator. Thank you Ted Talk for this wonderful presentation. The subdued lighting is very soothing.along with it her smooth presentation through her body language and relaxed speed of vocabulary.

[@mfungi]

She really died? Rip

[@justmadeit2]

How can you get over things that you feel you cant get over ? Some people have private things that they feel they just cant get over even after counselling etc

[@murtazaarif6507]

@@mfungi Yes sadly it is so.

[@murtazaarif6507]

@@justmadeit2 I think we should shop around for a suitable councilor or therapist e.g., in my case I require somebody that understands autism. It makes a world of difference into my healing. Sadly it can also backfire if the practitioner uses approaches that harm. In my case it did not help when the practitioner did not say much during therapy but let me do most of the talking. This put my already over stimulated mind into a spin. I would also say that we all have things deep inside our minds which are difficult to access because they may be painful or unconventional. I know it can be difficult to control the chattering mind. For this I would recommend sound meditation. It works wonders for me. The idea is not to think about the past or future. Instead stay grounded in the present based on what you may hear happening around you. Although I see no reason why you could not instead use visuals, sense of touch, aromas, space, balance or taste if you prefer instead of sounds if you prefer. I think it is a form of spirituality in that take us out of from our past and future timelines. The ideas is not to think or ponder over stored memories from the past or create anxiety about the future. Sometimes it is better to let the sleeping dogs lie instead of exploring our past or future. Otherwise I would suggest exploring your needs further and shopping around for a suitable therapist or councilor.

[@justmadeit2]

@@murtazaarif6507 Thankyou

[@queenjulianalovesherfatban2064]

The truth is that there aren't many people who will stay by your side without question when you're in a severe mental health crisis. And I can't blame people because I know that when I'm having a mental health crisis i become withdrawn, quiet, I feel like people only want to be around me when I'm chatty, lively and bubbly. It always feels like I can't show people how much I'm struggling

[@user-ci2nb6zp9b]

Completely understand. My colleagues don't know I have attempted twice (ended up in hospital for the first and been reported missing on the second) within 5 months because I come in like nothing is wrong because I know if I show my true self people will says 'get over it', 'your life could be worse', 'we all have problems', 'man up!', etc. What they don't know is like physical illnesses not all mental health condition can be treated. The government should just let the untreatable have the option of being euthanised. It will lift a lot of the stigma out of mental health.

[@joewallaert8939]

These days no one is at your side.Not even family.

[@DLPfan-km8dc]

Sad thing no body cares it's a fight for your self 😔

[@lisaslade573]

True no one cares .

[@lisaslade573]

I would take euthanasia

[@justicewillprevail1106]

She totally nailed the symptoms of severe depression. I have depression for many many years and I've never heard a more accurate description of my depression than hers. Thank you so much.

[@atifali5014]

Sophia’s And SnowBall’s World.

[@dirkscholten9995]

Always remember that help is available and solutions are out there. I hope you are better now.

[@webmasale]

The cure is exercise!

[@swedeonhisway8608]

its easy for those who have/had depression to understand it. in a way it makes us more capable psychiatrist than an actual psychiatrist

[@stevethomas74]

I know what you mean, Sophia. I just left a similar comment after watching this just now. Take care, sweetheart

[@mlove4654]

When she said “why should I be depressed for what? When people have real problems”. I felt that 🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@Zubstep1315]

I hate when people ask me how I am or am I ok because it’s not a real question so stop asking me.

[@elcruzer5514]

I would take a sincere "Honey are you OK?" That might be nice.

[@alburning1]

You are lucky you have someone to ask you that

[@timwilkins2008]

I am just tired of everything. I can't keep moving nor being strong.

[@timwilkins2008]

@@sageywavey I think about it daily. I even have a couple of plans. The main reason I haven't done it is I would hate to disappoint my wife and family.

[@cliffkonkle3467]

@@sageywavey REALLY??? HAVE SOME RESPECT.

[@cliffkonkle3467]

I hope you are ok friend. I know the pain of struggling also.

[@sageywavey]

Cliff Konkle my bad

[@silascochran9705]

Don't quit stay strong I feel that way everyday I stick around because it pisses off these miserable bastards the try to steal my joy😁💪☘💚

[@giggleswithteshanaandbrihanna]

When my big sister died I lost myself, I automatically became an introvert. A few years ago my younger brother got murdered. and I couldn't cry anymore. I've forgotten how. I'm so broken, I smile every day but I'm not happy, I hide my love my pain my emotions. I feel empty no one understands me, I don't know what to do, for the first time in years today I cried, I cried so hard. Somehow I feel a weight has been lifted off me.

[@RotterStudios]

Teshana Beacher sorry for your losses

[@TiggyLuuTube]

Teshana Beacher I read your comment and I cried so much. I am the oldest of my six siblings, but sometimes I can feel the unwelcome vibe when around them. I used to make good money before, thank god because now am so poor I know why now.

[@BLUE-cs6zv]

I’m sorry to heart that teshana, I hope you can get through it, find joy, and meet them again someday, somehow

[@stevethomas74]

First off, I'm so sorry to read that Teshana, that's truly a hugely traumatic thing(s) to go through. I hope that you heal that little bit more with each passing day. The other thing is, I can completely relate at the "not crying" thing. I haven't cried in several years, despite how sad I might be at something. I think my Depression somehow 'broke a crying valve' in me after my last severe episode back in 2016 and I've never cried since. I physically can't it seems. Extremely frustrating to be honest. I do think though that one day, whenever that might be in the future, I will cry. And it will be a tsunami of tears.

[@twobefree3262]

How are you today? I sincerely hope that you are better and that all is well for you. GOD BLESS!✝️🙏

[@dancrowley488]

Finding out that the darkness returned and claimed her life makes me feel sick. RIP GIll.

[@LiFeeIsSMusicC]

This is so devastating.. I think the darkness never left her, maybe the roots of that thing are so difficult to be found at times, in order to address the problem

[@keneilwemohlabane1288]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😍

[@annazheng3391]

Came across this TED Talk coz I felt very bad tonight. I cried while watching and later Googled her because she mentioned that at the beginning of the speech... Just to find the news about her passing away. RIP Gill 😞

[@BintAbubakr]

@Anna I just experienced the exact same thing. May she rest in perfect peace. 🙏🏾

[@BintAbubakr]

@@annazheng3391 I hope your feeling better.

[@anniehosfeld59]

I have battled debilitating episodes of depression for over 20 years. This woman speaks the truth. Just last year I lost my dear sister in law to suicide. She left behind five beautiful children and utter devastation. I know in my heart that she made that decision that day not with a clear mind, but a mind that was warped by the grips of severe depression. Gill Hayes, I salute you and pray for you and the many others who struggle with this illness.

[@jwm6668]

Annie Hosfeld. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@mallory5872]

😇

[@Serkant75]

Heartbreaking to hear it..

[@stevethomas74]

Hi Annie, I am so sorry both for your loss and for having to have dealt with Depression for so long. I am the same as you on that front as it's been nearly 20 years for me too. I'm currently on the tail end of a moderate episode, first time I've had one in 2 years which is a long stretch for me. I really think some people out there who have been blessed never to have even had an episode of it, really don't understand just how insidious and ultimately destructive it can be at its worst. I hope you continue to stay strong

[@zeiglerrobinson7625]

Ms Annie if you don't mind would please say a prayer for me

[@Kinglik7]

This woman TRULY has lived and breathed depression. No truer words have ever been spoken about it either. It’s crazy. Thank you for your message.

[@hohurnham7583]

She changed and saved many lives by speaking even if she lost hope in the end. I hope everyone here can find theirs ❤

[@d.w952]

I was with her until she said that about the tidal wave of love. My attempts have always resulted in scorn and guilt-tripping

[@marksherrit5874]

Same here

[@goodintentions1302]

@@marksherrit5874 Yep. The only support seems to come from others who have been to the brink themselves. Everybody else has cliche worthless or harmful responses. I love people. Yet I rarely like anyone once I get to know them... I don't like that about myself.

[@grammyd8361]

I have no family, no support and disinterested friends. My dog, my only companion is having seizures from a brain tumor and yesterday was payday. I have no money to pay rent, or to take her to the vet and I don't think I can go on much longer. My death will not be mourned and I will not be missed. I will be called a coward, weak and demented. It's ok, I've already forgiven you all. It's been very hard, not liking the ones you love. Existing in a world, yearning for just a human touch, a loving word, a visit... I am alone 24/7. As always, God bless you and in all things be kind.

[@jhsemoxitha3821]

Same here

[@jerryjones1344]

@@grammyd8361 If you are still with us, you are not alone I am drinking myself to death. I have been in pain most of my life due to a terrible childhood. But I have kids and they will suffer terribly if I were to kill myself. I sit here alone with great pain wondering if I should take the leap into the unknown. I have even made my noose, ready when I can't take no more. If you were near I would help you for sure.

[@brandonmaddox4862]

I’ve thought about suicide a lot, the only thing that has stopped me is the thought of my kids finding me. The key is to find hope in even the smallest places, even though depression still haunts me, I try to find that small light to get me out of the darkness. Depression cripples you in ways that are hard to describe. To all you struggling, know that others are too, including me and we can help each other. Reach out, people care more than you think. Stay strong 👊

[@doowonchoi9362]

May her rest in peace. Thank you for your attention to other people even when you were in great pain.

[@pimpompoom93726]

Anyone who had dealt with debilitating, extreme depression can understand this. Many thanks for Ms. Hayes for sharing this, it took a lot of courage. And it helped many of us.

[@stevethomas74]

That'd be me too, Phil. I hope you continue to be strong, sir

[@DouglasBloch]

She was truly remarkable

[@oaklandsoldier5920]

I wish I had the courage to take my life.

[@RotterStudios]

oaklandsoldier no you don’t. Please don’t

[@avimae4225]

Thank God you don't!

[@nikykaur]

Meto

[@jhsemoxitha3821]

Please don't it's not worth it

[@jerryjones1344]

same here

[@crystalcrafter5950]

I haven’t ever outright stated it before but I really want this to be over with. By ‘this’ I mean depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self loathing, hopeless, worthlessness, loneliness. It would be so nice to fall asleep and never wake up. I just want this to end.

[@alencifps1535]

If only it were possible to control our emotions just as much as we can control our bodies... Why does life have to be so cruel :(

[@crandallcartwright1582]

I’m 54 and 1/2 years of age,.... and just now diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. My manic episode was at least 6 months long. I’m starting to feel the depression seeping in. I’m tired of this roller coaster. I will press on though, as I always have. New medication to take. There is hope. I’ve survived a lot in my years. I will survive this too!

[@alliterati1]

Agreed. If you are dealing with this, you're not alone. I've been dealing with depression for eighteen years out of my thirty four. I'm a suicide attempt survivor. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts recently.

[@GS-cg3yn]

alliterati1 (((((((hug)))))))

[@NaraOfCambodia]

I haven't go for an actual attempt but I have suicide thoughts ever since I was very young. So how I deal with it is just move on and hope for the best and brace for the worse and try to get as much happiness as I can from my daily life to keep me going.

[@AMariana]

alliterati1 keep going, love ❤️

[@kattyk6370]

You are not alone.

[@parispoet]

@@NaraOfCambodia You are so right.

[@scontogoulas]

Despair, feeling useless, a burden. Feeling that everyone will be better off without you. It's the thought of leaving behind family and friends that can sometimes help people fight - but not always. A very touching and insightful video, thank you Gill.

[@mindbodylifted222]

Feeling like u have no one to turn to when you’re feeling depressed is such a lonesome feeling. I have a lot of ppl in my life that care about me but as soon as I start talking about how I’m feeling it’s like a wall goes up

[@eileendoherty2836]

Brooke Elizabeth Yes I’m same way no one cares I really need to have someone who knows what it’s like😪

[@kattyk6370]

And then...you feel alone.Alone.

[@sandrafaria2341]

@@kattyk6370 i know... It is awfull

[@bignoknow]

She described it perfectly. Thanks for your testimony. I’ve been in another episode myself and it always breaks my heart and relegates me to scared, child like feelings of hopelessness. So draining.

[@sannaanwar2421]

Ooo.oooo.oooooooooooooolkoooooooooooooooooolooooooooooooooooommlooooookookooooo.oooooooo

[@shafeeqw.5777]

The speech, and your comment describe my situation

[@LiFeeIsSMusicC]

It's so devastating to know that ironically the illness have eventualy won, and took her life....

[@Patricia-ok1cd]

a great talk . i am going though depression and anixety/ its dam hard so hard.

[@goldenapplesaga5446]

Watch the musical called "dear evan hansen" it's a great one that talks about suicide and the main character has anxiety. If that doesn't work then let God help. I understand if your not all too religious but if your this low that what's the harm in at least giving him a *chance* I mean what have you got to lose? I dont want to be a bible thumper I just want to help. God bless anyway 😁

[@60_069]

You made my day today preventing me from another attempt to take my life. RIP gill.

[@GrahamCroft]

I hope you're doing better

[@JoseHernandez-oz5qe]

I thought graduating from college and fulfilling my parents dream would make it go away. Suffering years in silence hoping there would be an end. Surviving my attempt hasn’t brought happiness in my life nor has any of my achievements. Hoping to heal my inner child in the ways my parents never could because my childhood was never my fault yet my adulthood is. I struggle ever day but yes, she speaks volumes about how lonely this disease can make you.

[@robinr5669]

PLEASE PLEASE TAKE THIS OFF. After listening then to find out she killed herself was such a blow, just added to the feeling of inevitability to my outcome. Please take this off.

[@SuperVladdrakula]

No, it should act as a demonstration to all those fools and liars spouting about fake "hope"...

[@couragecrusader7649]

She killed herself?!? That shows me that it’s inevitable.

[@SuperVladdrakula]

@@couragecrusader7649 Makes sense...

[@nightsky8012]

I'm living with suicidal thoughts. Thank you a lot for opening up about your story. It helps many other people who feel alone in this battle with mental illness.

[@sheilakirwan9462]

Please don't believe your thoughts ..they are lying viruses ...know that even if you can't see it now ...there is so much love out there for you ......you will find it one day and the.dark days will be gone soon ...

[@TheAMELIOO58]

2.5 year waiting list!?!?!? that's insane no one could wait that long

[@3245james]

if 17 people die a day that's 15,504 deaths in that time :(

[@ethanschaefer8327]

welcome to socialized health care

[@pamarabenton9039]

Socialized medicine!!! But, it's almost that bad in the US. We put tiny bandaid on people and put them right back where they came from. With no where to go for help.....except emergency room. They will not admit you to a hospital with depression unless you say the magic words "I want to kill myself" or "I want to hurt someone". Insurance has decided for us what will be paid for all medical care. They don't pay much attention all for mental health care.

[@indaystocome7416]

it's the sad truth

[@thumbprint7150]

You believe it is better in the US? Where people DIE because they cannot afford health care. Do your research.

[@selenamarino5203]

So sad to learn that she killed herself this year. Rest in peace Gill, I hope that you are at rest now and have received the peace that you had never received in this life.

[@mentalrainbow4181]

where did you read this

[@selenamarino5203]

@@mentalrainbow4181 she lives in my town.

[@karenlynnmc]

so sad, I just googled her after watching and was so shocked

[@joewallaert8939]

It's sad that many of us will never know joy in life

[@metnasopar8861]

​@@selenamarino5203 can you help me to find all her inspiring videos?. Ted ex is the only video i found.... i was sad, this is the time i knew she killed herself.

[@shannonreynolds1542]

I made my family watch this with me for them to understand part of my own journey with depression. Thank You!!

[@annwilson4705]

What an excellent idea for everyone who is paralyzed by depression. Send this video to someone . . . anyone that can help. When you reach that moment of sliding hopelessly into the "suicide trance" - reach out. Notice how NO ONE ever realized what she was experiencing? Notice too, that when they learned what had happened, they came en masse with love and support.

[@beckyweaver5981]

Shannon Reynolds My family knows but ignores me. I never complain or ask for a thing - but I still never hear a word from them. Not even a text or a “thank u” for gifts / cards sent at Christmas or birthdays. This is my last year on 🌎.

[@annwilson4705]

@@beckyweaver5981 You may be the only "healthy" person in your family if they have chosen to ostracize you... there is nothing wrong with "divorcing" them if they are unhealthy for you. I moved away and stopped all contact with my family, and I did it with the help of a therapist to guide me through the process. I have been energized as a result of stepping away from the toxicity in my family. DO NOT let this be your "last year on earth." Pick up the phone and call 1-800-273-8255. They will help you find someone in your area for help.

[@beckyweaver5981]

Ann Wilson Thanks for caring but I don’t want to exist, period. That’s why I’ve made these plans. I would never call that number and tell them my plans. They think their purpose in life is to stop people from exiting the planet. I want to exit the planet and I will not be the least bit upset on my final day. I know people will think that must mean I’m “depressed” but I’m beyond depressed. Beyond the dark night of the soul. Even if there was no war and people suddenly started loving each other, I still would not want to continue living here 🌎now.

[@eileendoherty2836]

Becky Weaver 🙏❤️🤗😢hope it got better I relate to you xox

[@gwilhallford6152]

Depression is an epidemic here in the States as well. I think we should introduce meditation to our children at an early age. Thanks for being so brave and sharing your story! You probably have no idea how many people you are helping by doing so.

[@mrwalker862]

Depression is like a knife stuck in the heart 💔

[@attivamp6435]

There is so much suffering in this world.

[@lindajohnson9282]

Hope is what perpetuates my depression more than anything. I keep hoping for things to improve, even when I know that all is hopeless. Fooling one’s self is never a good thing (delusion = fixed, false belief).

[@taranpreetkaur8303]

This left me in tears, I have been through the exact same phase

[@williamlones832]

Thank you for sharing your story. I have been suffering from depression for years since I was a teenager. I have suffered severe depression. On two occasions I was just contiplating it but was saved me was a phone call. A few months ago I actually went to act on it but again a phone call stopped me. Last night I was at that point and actually made the decision to go through with it. However that small glimpse of hope stopped me. I told myself reti just need someone to talk to that I can relate to who knows what I am going through.

[@coreyorr8071]

🙏

[@jude1515]

Excellent speech and you are so brave. More people do need to talking about this. I have dealt with depression on and off for many years. When your going thru it, it is quite paralyzing.

[@user-ci7vu7eo9w]

im in bed most of the time.lost my job becouse of depression

[@_brandonkeith-te5oj]

I like her, I can relate and she is awesome. And thank you for telling us everything you went through

[@rhonaandrews4098]

Such an honest and brave speech. This can happen to anyone.

[@dlp061]

How incredibly sad hearing she lost the struggle . RIP x

[@GrahamCroft]

I had seen her video several times and found her warm and caring. Such an inspiration. Then I learned she passed away. It felt like I got punched in the gut. I was actually upset for several days. I guess it's weird but such a hopeful story turned tragedy is somber. 😢

[@patrickman4514]

Thank you for talking about this, Its really important that we destigmatize depression and mental illness, and get these people some help.

[@tonystaples9726]

I wrote this the other day and thought I would Share my thoughts with you all. STEPPINGE LIGHT. I’m in between the shadows of the darkness and edging into the light, I see the light its not to far away, maybe a arms length away but to far to travel today. I always wonder what it feels like to reach and rap myself in its warmth. Today as like most days I fight to be me, a constant battle to stay here. I seek the light I often walk to it. I walk there most days only to be out of reach or to far to muster up the energy to look to it. Today’s journey is a heavy slog my feet seem to be leaded, each step getting heavier then the last. Why is this such an effort, is it always going to be like the previous day’s months and years. When will this end. Each day I walk breve and feel like I’m in a glass box, trying to talk but my voice isn’t getting anywhere, constantly rebounding about this see through wall, the void between you and the world and I is there to be seen. I seem to walk a million steps a day always uphill. I keep walking along this sharp pathway, knowing one day the edges will be less sharp. The more I walk I feel I can step on to a smother path and on to a lighter horizon. So I will keep trying to reach the light. I long for a brighter day. The light I desire isn't a one day return it's for life. The life that I leave behind will never honesty leave me. It’s ingrained into my soul. The acts of humanity has cut into my heart and my soul so profoundly that it’s difficult to come back from. I fantasize that my life is different only to get stabbed over and over in my brain by the horrors I had placed upon me. I never wanted these Horrors all I wanted was a simplistic easy existence. My light has to be forever it has to cleanse me, it has the reconcile my torment my torcher and forever bring me Joy. Life is passing me by, this has got to stop I'm reaching for the light more and more these days. I can see it shine brighter each day. I long to be the core of the light and place my energy in it so I can shine bright for others and show them the light is not that far away, if you allow yourself forgiveness for others that has trespassed against you then the light will be around sooner then you think. Love live and shine.

[@mobiusstripper7279]

The authenticity in your words are gut-wrenching and beautiful. Please keep writing. You clearly have a gift. Maybe you can use it to help others and more importantly yourself. Unfortunately, it is often the most tortured of us who make the best 'art.' Maybe you can use it as a channel to dig yourself out of the darkness. Thank you for sharing. Very courageous.

[@mobiusstripper7279]

I just noticed it's been 2 years. Hope you are in a better place.

[@justmadeit2]

Its terrifying to feel so desperately low, i feel like this, its very scary

[@jadpuertorico123]

This resonates with me. My focus and concentration have been horrible and that makes my feelings worse. Everyday feels like a battle and although I hope things will get better, I feel as if they just get worse. What I wouldn't give to not wake up, it's horrible and selfish I know. But my head and thoughts are suffocating me and I just want it to stop already

[@silvergoku5465]

I shared this video with my family as a cry for help. Their response was "Why do you watch such videos? This is the reason for your sadness" So what do I do now?

[@helenlynch5116]

Forget them ..... live for you ❤ ill try too ❤

[@colorfulremedies]

coming here in 2024 to say this, even when people find peace and are able to finally ‘live’ with depression, there’s always going to be a time that you fall back into old habits. relapse is a part of recovery and sometimes, you won’t always win. rip Gill. it sucks that i’m watching this to maybe earn some ‘hope’ for myself, only to find out that you lost your life due to your mental illness. how much hope does that give me? it’s a lie when people tell you things get better because in reality this is proof that they really don’t.

[@danielgiordani7625]

Whenever someone says suicide is selfish I actually tell them they’re the selfish ones for saying it’s selfish. It’s pretty much like telling that person “ hey, I know you’re in an incomprehensible amount of pain and suffering but I want you to stay alive and keep living with this pain and suffering so I want others aren’t sad that you’re gone.” People who commit suicide because of severe depression are in more pain and suffering than that person can even comprehend. As someone who suffered from severe depression and suicidal ideations I’ve been through places so dark, so painful the human brain can’t even comprehend it. Sometimes I wonder how I’m still here.

[@michaeld.williamsiii9026]

“Hope is in short supply when you’re depressed” Or even in my case of feeling sad and wrestling with grief as well...💔🥀😢 Lately I haven’t felt like even being here anymore, missing loved ones who’ve passed on including my dad. I’m feeling like what’s the point, Why God, what is my purpose of being? Nevertheless really great Ted Talk...

[@huggafox8551]

Thank you for this, know the pain.

[@penelopepitstop4440]

Thank you for speeking up that shows great courage. Even now I am concerned about writing this. I just wanted to say thank you for the encouragement that I can get past this.

[@BrokenxRosesx]

Absolutely devastating to watch this after December’s news :(

[@isabellac5669]

Bravoooo! In the US, we also have a staggering and increasing numbers of wonderful souls dying from suicide each day! The ages are becoming younger! Our mental health system is a vastly dysfunctional, and unnecessary mess! The Stigmas still remain! Inpatient hospitalization is a joke! It's become nothing, but a hold over, with little to no treatment; people discharge often worse then they arrived! What therapies that are available are now becoming unaffordable, as our insurance companies often will not take assignments with the practitioners, and vice versa! Many therapists are unengaged, burnt out, and that is inexcusable! I'm am a woman who has been suffering with both Depression and Panic Disorder for more than two-thirds of my life! I could write horror stories of what Ive seen, and therefore, became much stickier because of it! There are wonderful media support groups; please reach out! However, without the entire system changing in all our countries of origin, suicides will gain far more momentum than ever before!

[@marycmiles]

Bella Lady I second everything you say. Well-put!

[@kjtamf]

Isabella C The thing I find is that I only call emergency services , & health services whilst really unwell and in crisis , I find I ramble about so many different things , I don’t think I explain myself or my issue correctly , I think they all do a good job , I just think when I leave it until crisis point , I’m too unwell to say what’s the problem , so it’s hard to get to the root of problems when someone’s that unwell.

[@piercethebee8612]

This rings so true for me, its comforting to hear someone else speak about it in such a hopeful tone. Thank you.

[@justmadeit2]

Its a good video, i have added it to the folder on Depression , the biggest collection on here all in one place looking at depression from all angles, Hope it is useful to you and others ? They are In the play list part of my chnl in two folders.

[@user-rh8lw7yp9z]

Depression is the most debilitating disease, it takes your whole life away. I suffer terribly every day of my life. So sad that she took her life, but I can understand why. This is absolutely no way to live. RIP

[@klanderkal]

Very well description....you really understand 😖

[@davejarvis7522]

WOW! Thats exactly right! I've gone through this for years, it's terrible, she's totally correct--

[@geeayejoe2411]

Thank you for this. My depression kicks in again and I need help.

[@petersullivan3467]

I'm thirty years old and I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies since I was about eight years old. Sadly, it never completely goes away. Even recently I found myself contemplating taking my life. I just find no real point or purpose to any of this.

[@GrahamCroft]

How are you today?

[@ac1200]

This is exactly my life described. I’ve never heard someone say something and describe a situation so similar to my own struggle.

[@accidrainn1334]

I've only known I've had this for the last three 3 years.. But, I've known really my whole life .. Thank you for this ❤️

[@edwinarigby2305]

Thank you for sharing your story and information about depression and suicide. It was such a powerful presentation. Thank you for highlighting the need for us to understand and talk about depression rather than bury it. Thank you for being so brave. Wishing you continued success.

[@blahblah2779]

She 🤯 🔫 herself

[@alive060692]

just so you know, you are not alone..😊

[@mel...s]

alive060692 I hate this brain. These experiences. These memories

[@oaklandsoldier5920]

alive060692 yes. I am alone

[@adnanbabic5025]

alive060692 I am there too.

[@natashasemrau3670]

Thank you for being so honest and open. This is a struggle many people fight in silence. Mental health services are never funded as it should be. l admire your strength.🍀🌹🍀🌹🍀🌹🍀🌹🍀🌹🍀🌹🍀🌹🍀🌹🍀🌹

[@kw8827]

You put it so perfectly. Thank you for talking about this. Especially as a mum.

[@Csizzorhandz]

Watching this video was like watching myself telling everyone I know about my own struggle with depression, except for the details. She says so much that I have never had the mental clarity to say.. Very good talk. Definitely going to share it.

[@blahblah2779]

She 🤯 🔫 herself

[@andrewgrainger756]

Brilliant talk, thank you.

[@SF-wr4zn]

Incredibly honest and refreshing!

[@pandamonium9255]

Caught in a cycle of feeling sad, trying to strengthen myself from it with anger, then getting sad because im shedding my true, loving persona, then anger, then sad, then angry...you get the rest.

[@tomfrydrych7694]

Depression is one thing, how do you overcome the extreme coupled with shame, self hate and endless regret? Topped also with just divorced, lost family... and the fact that you hurt so many and broke the heart of the most important, beautiful and incredible woman ever known. When you wake every day and the presence of ‘why are you still alive’ is always in your head. It almost makes sense a person would end it from the stupidity, selfish and narcissistic actions, all the damage and loss i alone caused

[@hollycline2427]

I UNDERSTAND

[@bethaniek]

I see you posted this nine months ago and my heart skipped a beat. I sincerely hope that you found the strength to pull through your dark times. I hope you are okay and things are going a little better. I don't know you but I really, truly care.. please message me back.. ❤

[@LoriKLynn]

I too would like to know how you’re doing. I suffer from some of the same issues so I know the despair that it can bring. I pray that you will one day (soon!) see your unique beauty and light. You’re worthy of a beautiful life!

[@Savedbylove364]

I am too going through a similar situation and lost the love of my life.. he is now in a new relationship and I’m slowly dying. The only thing that is keeping me alive is my son I can’t leave him in this cruel world. I feel like I’m just living to die. I keep praying I’m hopeful. They say don’t live in the past or in the future but instead in the present. And at this present moment my heart is broken and I feel like dying

[@katrummel8045]

If people could only realize how hard we are fighting this disease. Its literally painful feeling inside of us. How we're slowly dying inside😢 💔

[@JustAtJesus]

Hi, Kat, you don't have to feel this way. Jesus came to heal every broken heart, every lonely soul. Isn't it strange how the greatest battles we fight are inside and not outside? That is why Jesus came. To give you life, not just a good life, but a great life.

[@katrummel8045]

@@JustAtJesus To have my ex and his attorneys lie and falsely accuse me of things that I did not do to him, or my kid's And then my ex and his mom turn my kid's against me telling them I hurt them, lies about me GOD knows I would never hurt my kid's I've risked my life protecting my kid's from their dad I got slammed in the wall on christmas day protecting my son from his dad hitting him like a rag doll and my daughter, when she was young with him trying to kick her out of the house, he eventually did when she was 14 And my kid's don't want to have anything to do with me. They blame me for everything from the divorce their dad wanted. They wish I was never their mom. That I'm better off not being around anymore. That I'm not wanted or needed here anymore You're better off going away. We just don't want you anymore To hear my kid's say and wish that about me when I was there for both of them for A LOT of hurtful things their dad did to them To say that to me as their mom and wish those things I won't be around anymore It has spiraled me into a deep depression What's the point of living when your kid's don't want you and your own family believes your ex instead of you. And no one cares to hear the truth from you and still blame you and they let my ex get away with a lot of things that he broke from court order papers What hurts me the most is to hear my kid's say that to me (You know. I had 9 pregnancies. Out of those 9 came my son and daughter, which were a blessing, a miracle because I never thought I would have kid's, especially with one tube. I have 7 little Angel Babies in Heaven) I have no one So there's really no need for me to be around anymore

[@0crescent_candy050]

All I really need is pep talks, small compliments, and love/affection...can't even get a straight look in the eye..fake smiles everyday keep me wondering "why?." And I have so much people around me..the only way I'm in my feelings is at midnight.. everyones asleep and I'm ridiculing myself. Wake up the next day and repeat. "Am I out of my mind?"

[@silascochran9705]

What an awesome woman beautiful strong Survivor that goes without saying I love her rationality how she rationalized everything before she jumped wow excellent TED Talk

[@karenlynnmc]

So sad, I googled her after watching this and it seems she ended up taking her own life :(

[@markj5054]

I really feel for her and I feel like I want to do the same. Because of the Sc@mdemic all help has been stopped. Support was taken from her because of most of the human races compliance to the scam.

[@karenlynnmc]

@@markj5054 you need to reach out to someone immediately , this is never the answer . You can even get help and medication online .

[@nelly85ful]

Recently I lost both my parents, my dad died on Dec 26th 2016 from Cancer and my mom on Oct 10th 2017 from Suicide. On Feb 2018 I lost my job and till now been struggling to cope with who I am and where I belong and what to do about my future.

[@AceGoodheart]

Chanelle Dominique Beauty I'm sorry to hear about your parents. My heart goes out to you. The one thing this world is lacking greatly is love. Love seems to be fading from this earth and we need it desperately to come back. I pray God heals your broken heart and helps you each and every day.

[@lisaboillot5255]

I am so sorry for your losses. I wish you hope to find the beauty in you and love around you so that you can move forward and thrive. This is a very hard time for you, but please know that if you can find the strength to get through each day, there is light and joy waiting for you ahead, and you will find it.

[@kyliechen5263]

Chanelle I went through almost the same thing. Lost my mom on Sept 2008 to cancer & on Feb 2009 I lost my job. I struggled with depression for many years and now accept the death of my mom as a released for her. I came to realized that many people also going through losing loved ones and losing jobs and struggling with depression. One thing that keeps me going is knowing my suicide will have an impact on my siblings and friends. I just don't know how long I can hold it out.

[@nelly85ful]

Kylie Christian witch don’t give up or inflict that pain on ur siblings and the people who love u! Keep fighting no matter what. As bad as my depression can get, I’m still stronger that it! I won’t let that kind of pain hurt the ones I love and neither should u! I might not know my path in life but I’m taking it easy and just going with the flow until something clicks! Life is hard and not fare and it teaches us lessons that are cruel, but one day it will help when we need it most. If u need to talk I’m here just write back! And thank you for opening up about your life it helps to share the pain in order to ease it a little.

[@HilarityBribo]

I hope you are doing better Chanelle, that is a lot to deal with, Idk if I could...

[@Damian.D]

Thank you, Gill. The world needs people like you.

[@blahblah2779]

She 🤯 🔫 herself

[@dazzlingdiamonddelawmaker3366]

Thank you , you just saved my life today

[@zullyamaya1]

Very brave and so helpful! Thank you!

[@mallory5872]

If society weren't so shame mongering and twisted by the Golden rule people wouldn't get to this point of depression and desperation. I've stopped reaching out. I don't need more judgement.

[@viktoriadobos460]

Im in the same state of mind after 6 months I lost my dad. People got scared first what to say..so they said nothing instead.. now Im so isolated from them even if theyd apologize I wont need any of it! I dont trust anyone now while I know all I needed was someone I could talk to. or hug. really that was all it. Now Im going to pay someone to listen to me. I dont know.

[@mallory5872]

Viktoria Dobos 😘

[@goldenapplesaga5446]

I'm sorry everyone here is in so much pain. I'm praying for you. Hope things get better.

[@kattyk6370]

RIGHT.WE CAN ONLY HELP OURSELFS.

[@creativehealingbysuz]

So well she explained..challenge the stigma by speaking out👍

[@jessestheories7586]

It's a mirical she is still standing!

[@Sunshine-ws2gf]

Its sad how little views this video has :(

[@kimberlylong227]

Agreed....It's one of the best talks I've heard on depression.

[@pimpompoom93726]

If it reaches just one person contemplating suicide it's worth it. I'm sure it's reached many.

[@thagirion9761]

So brave to come up there and tell your story. Thank you! Depression is real and is not a weakness, it is a disease that modern society doesn’t understand or seem to want to even understand. There are so many people who hide behind a crude joke, a fake smile, or stoic indifference. But it is real and if you feel this way, reach out to someone who will listen.

[@blahblah2779]

She 🤯 🔫 herself

[@helenkornilova9849]

thank you so much for sharing your story. this gives me hope something can change in the place where I live.

[@aliannaali1128]

I have no words just eyes filled with tears my best days are amazing my worst days are very bad I'm strong and I'll go through my bad days hoping to get back to my amazing days no one knows my pain just me.

[@555Trout]

Beautiful talk.

[@heathercatherine877]

What an incredible woman. Thank you so much for sharing your story. To hope xxx

[@GrahamCroft]

Very sad she ultimately took her life 😢. I can't watch this now

[@edvinlee5]

Lots of unanswered questions and endless what-ifs are all the things I'm experiencing since my husband took his life 6 months ago. The biggest what if I have is whether I could have helped him cope and prevented it.

[@billwong6077]

well done! This is not an easy issue to talk about. However, your personal story have captivated me. I am a 2x TEDx speaker and an occupational therapist by trade. I give you props for sharing. Keep fighting on in your journey!

[@Bookish_emy]

She looked so well and hopeful and happy in this video and then she killed herself. Hope is temporary. This kind of darkness is forever. There's no escape.

[@SuperVladdrakula]

Makes so much sense...

[@JillyBean1968]

You are so correct. It never completely goes away and hope really is temporary. 😢

[@kostascholas8751]

Agree😢

[@huggafox8551]

And loved it immensely!

[@positiveapproach8689]

I have been depressed few times. Never suicidal but I have experienced severe inability to function. Each time it took me few days to realise what was going on. My cure is to make my self extremely busy: new project, new business, redecoration, new course....anything that will require great effort and focus. Within maximum three weeks I am back to normal without medication or therapy but with a huge new task in front of me.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

What you described is mild depression. Very glad you recovered but major depression is a life threatening disease.