DERANGED Players ASSAULT CHILDREN In Campaign || D&D Story

[@trial_with_an_error9687]

*Loads shotgun* We can’t expect god to do all the work.

[@Nyghtking]

God helps those who help themselves, so get helping.

[@alexlee9385]

God is the great redeemer, and for you he has redeemed this coupon, for by one get one cans of whoop ass

[@Cobalt_Rain]

@@alexlee9385 This is one of the best replies I have ever seen! LOL!

[@DHTheAlaskan]

*Angry Smite Noises*

[@ULTIMATZEKROM]

*Fires up the woodchipper* Remember fellas, they go in feet first

[@khajiitinskyrim8874]

The fact that the DM had the kid stab OP meant he wanted the kids to get assaulted, and I don’t know if the other players or the dm is worse here.

[@stepheneppinger2464]

As far as I’m concerned the degenerate players and dm all deserve a nice long soak in hot tar. For hours. Submerses 10 feet down with iron weights, but ya know, that’s just me

[@khajiitinskyrim8874]

Stephen Eppinger Dude..... you’re kind to them

[@stepheneppinger2464]

Khajiit In Skyrim ya know what you’re right launch them into the sun while we are at it

[@khajiitinskyrim8874]

Stephen Eppinger There we go

[@Cobalt_Rain]

@@stepheneppinger2464 What good is soaking them in tar if they drown from the weights? They also would most likely die pretty quickly if you just left them in the tub.

[@doublee7110]

Bro his claw is moving holy crap

[@torreka1813]

I accept the change.

[@Bloodschosen2457]

Holy crab*

[@Khadharphak]

His power grows.

[@bartoszsyrocki8660]

hes slowly gaining power, soon enough he'll break out of his 2d form

[@burritodoggo122]

DAGNABBIT! I was gonna say that!

[@nuclearchezburgr3857]

Me: *sees "Assaults Children" in title* Ah, okay. This is gonna be a story of an outrageously out of line paladin who enforces "justice" on innocent children exactly the same way he does monsters. Me Now: oh my... that's... not what happened...

[@WeretigerX]

I thought the same thing. I was going to be generally okay with it until it took that weird turn.

[@adrianmcbride1666]

Yup, and Nope... Nope nope nope.

[@nuclearchezburgr3857]

@Chaz Hagen people do characterize classes exactly like you described, except Bards are Horny, not Pedos. But a paladin, someone designated as a keeper of peace and righteousness, would slot in. And unfortunately, the class has a reputation of attracting certain types of players lol

[@WeretigerX]

@Chaz Hagen I agree generally. Paladin is actually my favorite class.

[@conndor2753]

At first, I thought that it was a bunch of asshole grown-up players assaulting child players just for the sheer fun of it or some sort of heavily flawed sense of justice. I was misled...

[@drdramallama]

Isn’t a 14 year old goblin an adult though? How does that possibly make their argument any better? 🤨

[@CRSB00]

more like, "since my character is a minor, is OK that it assaults an NPC that's also a minor." what? no, lapé is not OK only because the perpetrator is a minor

[@Sephiroth08150]

It doesn't.

[@MenxiGoblinQueen]

Goblins are adults at 12

[@CRSB00]

@@MenxiGoblinQueen yeah that was the point of the op, though I don't think the player who said that knew this

[@azzaelunrama35]

Also.....um....rape

[@bungaquezaps6315]

The crab Lord grows in power. HE MOVES NOW

[@liamdalemon1525]

IS HE THE KOOL-AID MAN???

[@liamdalemon1525]

@SumPinkHairedLoser ??? But he doesn't have a mouth... Ah who am I kidding, we all know that he will aquire one and then it will move

[@cespuglio2338]

HE IS RISING

[@torreka1813]

He got 100k subscribers, thus his power grew.

[@danchase859]

ALL HAIL THE CRAB!!!

[@SuperLlama42]

"Before the game started I realized that I accidentally joined ISIS. But I was just so starved for a game that I didn't say anything."

[@delfinenteddyson9865]

understandable, TTRPG is a drug

[@Nyghtking]

This is one of those times when you read the title you hope the kids were just beaten... and then they weren't just beaten.

[@omnical6135]

oh no, oh... oh no...

[@atherflame7626]

That was exactly my thought when I read the title… I’m normally against physical abuse against a child, but this is an instance where I would’ve preferred that happened…

[@titssnitchtzeentch649]

Now I want the adventures of Chris Hansen playing dnds with these guys. His Item would be a chair he can summon at will by saying "take a sit".

[@NeoVault_]

Would be a great power/companion.

[@annabella1650]

He also has the “FBI open up” spell.

[@cage5577]

Special Suggestion spell that always has advantage when the command is to "take a seat"

[@jrepra]

I really want to make a chris Hanson character now. A paladin made just to smite these things.

[@TheBonkleFox]

bruh chris dropped the investigation on onision the moment it stopped getting clout what makes you think he'd do differently with anyone else

[@Dr_Xewwer]

such a nice animation , now he can crab rave

[@crabboboi1938]

Good for he

[@destroyerinazuma96]

Someone, draw a gijinka

[@bullshark3771]

*crab rave plays*

[@jrepra]

DID SOMEONE SAY CRAB RAVE!? OH MERRY CRAAAAAABS!

[@Pepsiman1848]

🦀Crab is animated🦀

[@xaviermelo3228]

First the arm starts moving, next the eyes and when his body gains full range of movement we will know why they call him the CritCrab

[@SniperSpy10]

for a minute there I thought this was an IRL beating,

[@Pipkiablo]

Considering how this actually went, I'm glad it wasn't a rl beating!

[@Uncle_Rudi]

It makes sense taking in consideration the clickbaity thumbs that our good Crab lord uses.

[@liamdalemon1525]

"they were... weird" me: what is weird? someone who is different or someone who is different to you? "they were always talking about lolies" me: ... okay I guess I like cute things but this is kind of a red flag and in what ways were they being discussed? "once back at the tavern, they proceed to describe IN DETAIL how they sexually assault and abuse these children" me: OKAY HOW THE HECK HAVE THESE PEOPLE NOT BEEN ARRESTED? THERE WOULD BE SEVERAL WITNESSES IN A TAVERN! ALSO BEING THE SAME AGE DOESN'T EXCUSE RAPE!!!

[@SapphireDragon357]

That and a 14yo goblin is practically middle-aged.

[@TheAzCorner]

Weird is too gentle a word to describe them

[@voidstrider801]

If the DM was against what they did, the town guard accompanied by a REAL paladin would have shown up to dispense rough justice on these degenerate fiends in game, along with some pissed off tavern brawlers with a sense of justice. Instead of punishing the players or kicking them, he allowed them to do it, he was clearly in on it and this was probably normal for these players, except for OP who was clearly disgusted with them and did not know what he was getting into. At they very least the DM could have said "no details, fade to black only" when really sketchy and disgusting stuff is done by the players and kick them when they break the rule of not describing it in detail.

[@coryjarrett2952]

Is it bad if I don't know what loli is... (and I'm 22 yrs old) ... You know what I'm not even going to look it up because I don't want to be disgusted even more. I just automatically think it means "a really expired, sour, foul lollipop." and leave it at that...

[@kasane1337]

@@coryjarrett2952 It's essentially drawings of little girls. Sorry, had to point it out. Outside this context, the word isn't even that bad. But hearing it in this context made we want to fucking throw up.

[@Alex-2.01]

I like that its a new story,but I don't like that its a party like that

[@wyv4066]

You should have taken the red flag and bolted

[@duvdoren538]

DnD story: “How I accidentally joined a group of pedophiles”

[@NintendoDude360]

Just report the dm, players and get the fuck out of there. This sort of behavior should be out of DND

[@sethk5396]

I mean, they openly talked about their loli fantasies at the start and OP chose to continue. Idk if that still qualifies as accidental.

[@jasonosborne5763]

They were already openly talking about lolis, so he knowingly joined a group of pedos :(

[@minizino2898]

Hi im Chris hansen from dateline npc I'd like you to take a seat

[@no101]

Him getting stabbed for trying to help was funny as hell. But it got horribly disgusting right after that.

[@andreuva4782]

Same XD like maybe he should have considers the kids weren't as misunderstood as he made them out to be but soon it turned into a FUCKING HORROR movie. Like holy shit. They really dragging children into the gallows to touch em.

[@taddad2641]

@@andreuva4782 no the dm only did that to 'justify' what was about to happen to them next and what he had planned to happen to them next.

[@andreuva4782]

@@taddad2641 I don't believe he was trying to justify everything. I just think he was running a really fucked up RP.

[@666Vampirefromhell]

*sees the arm moving independently * CONFUSED SCREAMING

[@bloodgodsprophet3047]

ALL I CAN THINK OF IS ALEX JONES SAYING:IM ANIMATED

[@MenxiGoblinQueen]

not to ignore the absolute disgusting behavior but... Goblins are adults at age 12 as their life spans are shorter than a human's... just something to shatter that guy's already piss poor excuse

[@BlazingOwnager]

I hate fantasy / sci-fi races that age super fast. It's a fine concept in most ways but it gets INCREDIBLY icky if you involve sexual stuff, it's always extremely awkward and unnerving. If I was ever writing a race like that I'd be tempted to make them entirely asexual and lay eggs or something just to avoid this gross-zone.

[@MenxiGoblinQueen]

@@BlazingOwnager I mean, you do you, I was just stating that putting human age rate standards to a non-human didn't help that player's argument at all

[@BlazingOwnager]

@@MenxiGoblinQueen Oh I get it, I wasn't arguing that. I just mean that character races that are "I'm an adult at 12!" lead to no good, bad time places.

[@the_homun_system]

me @ the story: /mcr's "I'm Not OK" plays in the distance/ me at the sick new graphics: woah dang he sprung for the tweening and everything thats all out.

[@annabella1650]

I think we’re past “I’m not okay”. Not sure what music to use for a reaction really, beyond a never ending scream and possible that one clip from Event Horizon.

[@santimar093]

Some people really can't keep their own sexual fantasies to themselves, can they?

[@SuperLlama42]

They...kinda did, tho. They were talking about weird loli shit before the game even started, and the one new guy, in their own words, just kept quiet and didn't give any indication it made them uncomfortable. OP basically walked into a sex dungeon, realized they just walked into a sex dungeon, then kept going because they didn't want to look rude, and finally went "OH MY GOD! IS THAT SEX!? IN THIS SEX DUNGEON? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

[@santimar093]

@@SuperLlama42 I don't know, I'm pretty sure it was just a normal one-shot up up until they assaulted the child bandits with the seal of domination. They sure didn't say it was a sex dungeon until then, only talked the loli stuff but that's it. I don't know, maybe I'm in the wrong here. I'm welcome to any corrections and more evidence on this. I do see where you're coming from tho.

[@falloutbunker]

@@SuperLlama42 if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. If it talks about it's attraction to children and happily RPs a situation where they abuse and rape children.... hmmmmmm.... I hope that they haven't harmed any children IRL because it sounds like they might actually escalate to that some time soon. People who think being attracted to lolis and shota is okay should be castrated on sight at best. They're a risk to society around them.

[@annabella1650]

There’s way too many D&D stories that amount to this.

[@linkron9746]

@@falloutbunker Games don't cause stuff that happens in the real world, that goes for video games and tabletop games. Having said that, however, if they move from Loli (which is just drawings) to teenaged girls (irl) in their discussions, I have no problems castrating them with some red hot iron.

[@johnnysizemore5797]

Notes from a NG human Idiot; Greetings from lovely Restenford(We had a nice Prayerday here, considering the current situation in the Kingdom....)! A great Priest of Pelor(the Late Saint Mandela himself) once said "There can be no Keener revelation of a society's soul then the way it treats it's children." If this is how the Nobleman's kingdom operates, then it's a good thing OP got out when he did. This Kingdom needs to be Razed to the Ground, It's fields salted and anyone over the age of 5 put to the Sword. Unfortunately, all we can do is warn other's to stay away from It's Borders and Pray that they listen...... May your pantheon ever favor you(especially in these trying times), Baron Trevelyan of Restenford

[@andreagrossi7656]

My reaction: 1st half of the story "Ah, yes, slavery. It's just an evil campaign, like so many others." 2nd half of the story "Well... ok. It's a VERY evil campaign."

[@zerotohero884]

Comments : 10% about the video 90% *SMOTHCRAB*

[@SaintJimmy379]

"They proceed to describe in detail how they sexually assault qnd abuse children"... I think you were playing with some poeple who are required by law to inform everyone in their community that they're a sex offender!

[@samuelsoliday8241]

I'm surprised OP didn't report them.

[@TailsClock]

@@samuelsoliday8241 Report them to the guard? He couldn't, he died. I sure hope you don't mean that OP should report the players to the police in real life. Cause if we start treating things our characters do as real, then we're all in a lot of trouble. Or did you forget that murder is illegal?

[@samuelsoliday8241]

@@TailsClock I mean to the administrators.

[@Portal-ht3ub]

@@TailsClock murder isn't always illegal. It can be justified: self defense, food, mercy kill. Nice try.

[@steakdriven]

@@Portal-ht3ub no, murder is never Justified. Murder is killing a human being with malice and forethought. Killing in self-defense cannot by legal definition be a murder.

[@ostrowulf]

Well, that is deffinately an ABORT ABORT ABORT game situation.

[@KentaroMiyamoto21]

Oh lord what is wrong with these people?

[@citizen_grub4171]

Pedophiles who do not realize they are messed up and have a very high chance of becoming actual child molesters.

[@annabella1650]

A lot, probably enough to keep a lot of therapists happily employed for years.

[@brano13177]

My money is on some flavor of MRA/Incel/MIGTOW; given the specific confluence of interests they have towards loli's AND "subservient wives". I mean even as someone who loves to headpat the loli's; if you have someone who loves loli's AND wants a "subservient wife"; that's a red flag for an MRA/Incel/MIGTOW. And if you need a source of examples, see the link: wehuntedthemammoth.com/

[@someguy3263]

@@brano13177 How is this an incel issue? This is a pedophilia issue....

[@brano13177]

@@someguy3263 Because their are specific subsets of Incel's and MGTOW'S who are pedophiles or who think preying on and grooming little girls is a better idea than trying to deal with the women whom they so misogynisticly hate.

[@41dn]

THE ARM IT MOVES

[@Wbfuhn]

Imagine someone with federal authority playing one of these online games and this happens.

[@NintendoDude360]

I can imagine their fear.

[@shadedias5563]

@@NintendoDude360 "I roll to abuse the child!" "I roll to find your exact location, can I interest you in some jail time?"

[@matijasostojic4288]

" I roll to summon FBI."

[@anidiotplayslivestream5206]

Welp, I feel sick now. Credit to OP for knowing when it was time to bounce - although I do have to wonder why he ignored what I would've thought was an obvious red flag, as he admits himself in the beginning. May these incels always be on the outside looking in with regards to relationships, for the sake of any woman unfortunate enough to interact with them. Also, don't think for a moment that I didn't notice how much more expressive the animation was on the Crab, good sir! Looks great, hope to see that continue in future videos.

[@DistortedShelf0]

After watching an old video of yours a bit before this, the progress made in overall quality is tangible. Keep up the good work, CritCrab.

[@mqfii8992]

Age Is just a number, sure. As much as jail is just a 2 star hotel room.

[@spiderraccoon7869]

“Should’ve taken the red flag and left, but I was starved for a dnd game” .......Are people really this desperate to role play? Assuming this story is real, of course.

[@quasimofo6811]

What makes it even weirder is that he specifically mentioned there were plenty of other groups looking for players.

[@cheydragonrat3252]

@@quasimofo6811 actually there is. The website he mentions, D&D beyond forums, it has lots of requests on there for people looking for players and players looking for games.

[@atomic747]

from all the other stories critcrab read. yes,there are people so desperate to roleplay. that a lot would put up with manipulation and abuse and so on.

[@quasimofo6811]

@@cheydragonrat3252 I wasn't questioning the idea that there are plenty of opportunities to play, I was questioning why he didn't leave at the obvious red flag when *he already knew* that there were plenty of other options easily accessible.

[@cheydragonrat3252]

@@quasimofo6811 Oh! My bad then. ^^;

[@galeden5700]

"It's ok, its just a game" yes and now we know your deep rooted subconscious desires, and I would want none of that.

[@Death059]

CritCrab? More like SMOOTHCRAB

[@leytonwest3241]

Wow critcrab. You really improved animation. I like it 👍

[@wdf70]

0:57 what was that noise?! Lol But for real. What a bunch of degenerates.

[@JarredE]

Sweet RNGesus! It moved!

[@maxxam4665]

Crab I love you, but that outro about "If you liked this story" and "for other stories like this one" sounded a bit weird this time.

[@bingo784]

I must have failed a SAN check because my sanity is suddenly in the red.

[@omnical6135]

my malkavian just lost all of his humanity

[@aliabdulaziz8064]

I like the new animations, they look really good! :D

[@adambriton5394]

Soon as he heard loli he should've ran

[@scribblecore4336]

"My character is 14 so it's ok." is the same excuse of "They may look like a actual child but they're actually 5 millon years old."

[@NeoVault_]

^ This.

[@atomic747]

then we need to arrest that 5 million year old

[@PsychoYuffie]

People who are THAT casual about pedophilia and rape are definitely offenders. He should have called the police.

[@hunterst6321]

I mean, people are pretty casual about things they play (like for example...i sometimes boast about my kill count in...i dunno, insert random fps shooter here, does that make me a mass murderer?) OP should've REALLY left as soon as he saw those red flags

[@Mokiefraggle]

@@hunterst6321 I feel like there's a world of difference between bragging about your kill-count in an FPS (where people expect other players to talk about how many kills they have in-game, as a mark of skill), and acting out the *enslavement and rape of children* in a D&D game. Like, one is literally just saying "Hey, I'm awesome at this game, don't you want me on your team?!", while the other is saying "I don't care who sees me do this, because I can just say 'It's what my PC would do!' and get away with it!" And worse, while it was only the Paladin who did the enslaving (with a friggin' red-hot iron brand, so mark him down as a sadist, as well), the entire rest of the group except the OP were totally down to rape kids, and even tried to justify their actions by saying that in-character they were a 14-year-old goblin, so clearly that would negate the statutory rape, no matter what the player's age was.

[@hunterst6321]

@@Mokiefraggle It still doesn't automatically make them an offender, though it obviously makes them need help because their minds aren't quite right. The game and reality are two different things, if they can *atleast* not blend the two (and go, you know, rape actual children), then they won't be offenders because of what they do in a game.

[@Mokiefraggle]

@@hunterst6321 Even if the other players *aren't* some sort of sex offenders, they would still rank way up there on my mental list of "Bad, possibly dangerous people to know," if I were the OP seeing this play out, and I agree with OP's immediately leaving. I also, however, feel that if this is the sort of thing these people *enjoy,* and feel a need to use their RPG time to do, then there's bigger issues here that someone should examine, and that even if they haven't actually committed a sex offense, they're building up to it via acting it out in what is for them a social safe place. Besides, an entire group who casually chat about loli-con and wanting "subservient" wives, even in front of a completely new member? A player with a *Paladin* who has an item to enslave people? A DM who immediately shanks the PC belonging to the one player protesting this action? Players who vividly describe raping and beating children in detail, and a DM who doesn't cut them off/fade-to-black? And they're casually advertising openings in their fetish group on a major D&D forum where anyone could want to join in? That feels like it must be counter to ToS, at least.

[@hunterst6321]

@@Mokiefraggle Agreed, it would most likely be something against the ToS of the forum too, at MOST. Not 'call the police' like the original commenter said...unless of course, we're missing details on what they said, then it might be a completely different story

[@spinningpeanut]

Today's sesh has us talking to a crab today. Critcrab is sneaking into our games now

[@CritCrab]

Infiltration Crustacean

[@giveme500subscribers2]

R/Im14andthisisdeep gets a ‘hole’ new meaning in the story

[@midnightflare9879]

"Well, this one isn't so bad I mean... uh...UH! Motion tweens!” “Ewww! I feel all practical and cost effective!”

[@watcherofmemelords7967]

BEHOLD THE GLORY OF THE CRITCRAB, EMPEROR OF ALL CRAB KIND!

[@cogline9]

Personally, I find thought of playing any table top like D&D and describing/acting out ANY sexual acts in front of a few other people to be down right mortifying in and of itself. The kids stuff on top of it is the icing on the "No way in hell" cake.

[@critnoir9926]

You're great CritCrab! LUV YA!!!!

[@mrmaxwell346]

My God it's crits little nephew how's it going buddy?

[@critnoir9926]

Nephew?!? Im His Prophet Darn you! If you watch the end of the vid im one of his Patreons too. Join the discord and you might see me around

[@AsculaTheNinga]

It's nice to see a story where the teller escapes quickly and doesn't delude themselves

[@loganbritton6737]

Wow, what a crazy situation this poster has gotten themselves into!

[@PumpkinSeries]

You have every right to move on. But I would have cautioned that, even no matter have much you crave a session, you should not immediately jump into a session. Recommend asking the DM that you watch a session before joining in. This has some pros and cons: Pros: - Samples the DM and PC behavior and strategy. - Knows a little context of story. - Know their “adult rating” if you will. - You can ask a private conversation with the DM afterwards to negotiate being “written” into the story for compatibility; also let DM know of your concerns. - You can opt out there and then. - Save face, save credibility in the DnD community (local, online, and far). Cons: - A little of Metagaming. - May seem a bit weird at first. - A DM May say no regardless. Be safe out there and always grow a BARRIER for any encounter (ingame and in life).

[@rogue_arcana9171]

Its been about 5 minutes since i finished the video. I am still wanting to curl up in a ball and cry. OP should have done something to report those pathetic humans so other players know to avoid them... Like the almighty crab said, one of them might actually be a nonce... FBI open up...

[@maximsavage]

Nothing illegal happened, there's nothing to report. Those guys are fucked up and probably pedophiles, but no actual child porn viewing/trading or irl child molestation happened, so there's no crime.

[@julesfaulk-lewis4904]

Even if he did report them to police or other group there's no way to prove they really said it unless he recorded it even then there just words pointed at fake characters as far as I know the only thing wrong they did in the eyes of the law, is being terrible human beings.

[@rogue_arcana9171]

@@julesfaulk-lewis4904 law wise, yes there's not much evidence. What I really ment was for other groups to know that these players pull this type of stuff and to try and avoid them

[@rogue_arcana9171]

@@maximsavage I know no actual crime was committed. What I ment was for other players to be warned about these people and avoid playing with them if they do this type of stuff. I have gone back and edited my comment to make what I was meaning to say much clearer.

[@maximsavage]

@@rogue_arcana9171 I see, that makes sense. I don't know whether those players are part of any gaming group, either online or location-based, but if they are, the other members of that community would benefit from knowing, yes.

[@ProfessorFaceless]

Great animation, always makes me happy to see the joyful Critcrab ready to share stories. This one...just made me sick...good god. Those were creeps who should be exiled from DnD!!

[@BlazingOwnager]

I really hope the OP was lying about the last part, I really do.

[@ProfessorFaceless]

@@BlazingOwnager you and me both....

[@davidhodgson1011]

this is the type of situation where I would condone outting usernames tbh

[@BardicMadness]

Yeah fiction or not thats a group you would really want advanced warning for. At the very least so people can keep an eye on them and/or avoid them like the plague

[@AviaRayne2]

So when I initially saw the title, I was like "how bad can that be? I accidentally killed a child before in D&D" CLEARLY thinking of a different kind of assault. Mad props to OP for getting the heck out of there fast. It does not sound like it would have gotten any better!

[@shadenox8164]

Except he didn't know when to get out, since that time was when they started talking about lolis and subservient wives. That's not just a red flag that's a billboard stating "No good will come from this group."

[@ethanwillis3004]

I just had lunch. I just saw my lunch again.

[@rhysofsneezingdragon1758]

Hey, live 2D crab. Eyy

[@LocksAndChains]

I remember the pickpocketing kids in Fallout 2. I gave my companion all my valuables, except for some explosives. Then I armed them on a timer. Then I walked by the pickpockets. Few minutes later, the kids were salsa and no one got mad at me for child killing.

[@cyberider125]

At least what you did was merciful compared to what those creeps in DnD did.

[@pointynoodle]

"My character's 14 so it's ok" is the new version of "She's 3000 years old so it's ok"

[@azadalamiq]

not really. I'm 35, i looked early 20s when i was 18+ i looked 16. at 16 ppl thought i was 12. age is what matters not looks. what is being said is that age exempts you from being charged, aka a 14 year old being sexual with another 14 year old rape or otherwise is ok. It is just bad if other people do it. Having a 300 year old child like character is not the same, as it is seen in a lot of mythology. such as fairies, and vampires.

[@danielhounshell2526]

@@azadalamiq It's one thing to say "wow, this character looks like a child, isn't that adorable", it's quite another to say "this character looks like a child and it gets me hot and bothered". The first statement is perfectly fine, the other is a sign that something is seriously wrong and you should seek help.

[@PentaHousen]

@@danielhounshell2526 Or maybe someone is attracted to artifical human that doesn't exist? It's drawing and nothing changes that. Not real human (most of the time without human features like nose, frekles, etc etc) are just ink and paper created by someone. Reality is not fiction and fiction is not reality. Problems starts where we blend two, but that is just mental health problem that should be deal by specialist or police.

[@danielhounshell2526]

@@PentaHousen That's perfectly fine, but if the reason you're attracted to that character is because they look like a child, something is wrong.

[@BardicMadness]

@@danielhounshell2526 and its a completely different thing to say "This woman is short and cute but also has an amazing personality. Fuck ye." Its the one thing these creeps have ruined that most dont think about. I know a few poor guys who get dirty looks cause their mid 20s wives look real young.

[@ArcmageZaln]

Ok, first, LOVE the claw movement. a huge update since now seeing king crab fully. expression is going to be grand. second... ill be in the shower for the rest of the day from that story.

[@Observer29830]

Hello, FBI? Yes, these people right there...

[@xherdos400]

KZbin recommended me this video and honestly i found my new Fav Channel

[@CritCrab]

:D

[@RPGTales]

Wow, I must've been reading too many messed up stories lately. For a moment there I thought it was a real life kidnapping.

[@martinaromerov.1342]

HOLY CRAB HE'S MOVING

[@MidnightDragonProductions]

Honestly, the "it's just a game" excuse is a terrible excuse. It's still messed up regardless if it's just a game or not. I think OP made the right decision to just leave after this.

[@ArcmageZaln]

its just as bad as saying "its what my character would do."

[@andreuva4782]

Depends on the context. Child rape? Yeah nah bruh. Killing children NPCs? Eh, people dowload mods like that on RPG video games all the time. Little harder to excuse when your party is mostly good players but if you're in a neutral to asshole campaign I can see it.

[@Cobalt_Rain]

@@andreuva4782 The fact that the PALADIN used that horrible rod is WAAAYY messed up. EDIT: Just checked the paladin info and this guy was most likely going to justify it with The Oath of Conquest.

[@andreuva4782]

@@Cobalt_Rain Tiss a very interesting weapon for a Palaidin to carry, yes.

[@azadalamiq]

@@andreuva4782 link is 10 years old in windwaker, and majoras mask. 8 in ocarina of time. He had death animations.

[@INTPTT]

Tbh I'm relieved, cause when I read the title/saw the thumbnail I thought it was about real children.

[@zarnaku6467]

"Age is just a number" "Well prison is just a block away" "The courthouse is just a place" "Prosecutors is just a title" "10-20 years is just a statement" "Prison Rape is just a myth" It may be fucking roleplay but it still has consequences

[@links-gut-versifftergrunme1809]

_"Chill. It's just a game!"_ _"Good. So I can leave any time I don't want to play with you anymore."_

[@abandoned__]

WE'VE GOT ANIMATIONS?!? *WE'VE GOT A N I M A T I O N S ?!?*

[@mikeolarte-torres2094]

This story fucking ate away at my soul, I still can't process this story I need a hug and hot cocoa.

[@kcollier2192]

Proving once again that humans are the worst disease. Now that I think of it- D&D should be used as part of a mental/emotional evaluation for folks that want to enter certain professions. If your character starts to act like anyone in these D&D horror stories then you don't get the job- and might be lucky not to get yourself arrested as well...

[@theRealSlimGordon]

Well to be fair, even though these guys were disgusting and clearly had some problems, I have a couple of friends who love being murderhobos/bad people in general in games, but are really just wonderful outside of them (they never reached the levels of raping kids or stuff like that, though). I think the line between incredible roleplay and sheer madness in D&D is very thin, so that's probably why no one has ever done what you described, even though I'd love to see someone being convicted as a pedophile just for the way they approched a kid in game lol

[@PentaHousen]

@@theRealSlimGordon Nobody done it, because it's stupid. It's same as "If you kill someone in video game, you are probably psycho in real life", which is dull narrative. You can't compere reality and fiction, because this two should always be separate from each other.

[@theRealSlimGordon]

@@PentaHousen Yeah, pretty much the point I was trying to make. As I said, it would be near impossible to actually get something useful out of a "roleplay analysis" or something like that, 'cuz all the variables and stuff

[@taddad2641]

@@PentaHousen fiction is used as a means of wish fufillness and living a fantasy. that you re strong, badass, or living a more adventurous life than you really are. so when you are using dnd ot live out a sexual fantasy.... yea.

[@PentaHousen]

@@taddad2641 no? Fiction is used to write a story. You dont fullfill anything, because it isnt real.

[@oivi3iv635]

We had a game where a vampire was turning sick children so as to save them from a plague while he tried to cure both it and his vampirism. As we went after this vampire we discovered his "altruism" and that if he died all the kids would die. The party unanimously decided to kill the vampire. The DM was like, "you all didn't even try to work with him. You could have saved them all." I responded, "they were all dead already, that's what a vampire is."

[@15oClock]

CLEANSE WITH HOLY FIRE!

[@Alex-gg1xr]

Can i just say i love the happy crab face lol

[@Bellia25]

These just sound like terrible not fun people to play with anyways

[@BlazingOwnager]

I have to admit I'd tried to kill their characters before I quit, even though the smart thing would just to quit.

[@Grandhighdruid]

Just one word after a full body shudder: WOW!!!

[@chJohnJobs]

I had a player who was also one of those guys. I kicked him out of the game quickly...As fast as i could

[@benjaminz6182]

"Violence is not the answer, is a question...and in this case is *fuCK YEAH* " -CritCrab, the storyteller

[@Musegrl12]

Is there a Chris Hansen for DnD? Preferably with the ability to smite players irl?

[@LiquidRayne]

The crab moves! PRAISE THE CRAB!

[@Nazo-kage]

🤦‍♂️ 🤦‍♂️ 🤦‍♂️ 🤦‍♂️ (There’s nothing else I could say about it.)

[@CritCrab]

Never seen you leave a speechless comment before 😂😅

[@thatsmugbastard4929]

Me: *watches video* I know what villains I'll use in my campaign next.

[@Warrior_Culture]

What do you mean "props to op for knowing when to get out"? The dude talked to the group for a week and according to him, they constantly talked about lolis and slave wives. THAT would have been the time to know you should get out. And a custom item that just lets the player dominate other characters with apparently no cooldown or saves or limitations of any kind, at least none that were mentioned? Either the op is making this up or the op can't see the color red that was ALL over the giant flag waving in his face.

[@Fanimati0n]

He didn't know about the homebrew item prior to the game, remember?

[@Warrior_Culture]

@@Fanimati0n I am aware. But he was aware of the homebrew item BEFORE the party took the NPC's back to base and tortured them. The point being there were MANY huge flags long before the disgusting situation took place, and he stayed in the game far too long.

[@Fanimati0n]

@@Warrior_Culture He didn't know what it was called our did. He just knew that there was one

[@Warrior_Culture]

@@Fanimati0n ...you're still missing the point.

[@benjaminbattiston5174]

me: just going along the playlist, not really paying attention critcrab: "a DM and his players that may or may not believe age is just a number" me: "WTF, WHAT SIDE OF THE INTERNET AM I ON?!?"

[@annabella1650]

On the bright side, no actual children were harmed. The group OP got were creepy and weird, but at least it didn’t involve actual getting harmed. Still, hopefully these wonderful folks aren’t near real people.

[@whiterabbit75]

"Barbarian goblin" Okay, you guys just brought this on yourselves at this point.

[@Zenas521]

Never ignore a red flag. Even if you are starving for a game. Hold out just a little longer. The lack of ethics violations will thank you.

[@kursna]

The title made me believe this was just going to be some players beating on fictional kids and that didn't sound so bad. The reality is much worse than I expected

[@LoganAntonick]

Rule of Thumb: If you ever chance upon someone that is into lolis avoid them at all costs. Even more so if they are into roleplay games and are not shy about uhh... Expressing their interests.

[@annabella1650]

Yeah if they mention the L word, run as fast as possibly and don’t look back.

[@Becca4theWin]

* inhales deeply* then *loooooooong extended puking noises*

[@Hopeitsagood1]

"The Players were just talking about their recent crimes in the chat in explicit detail. May be a red flag, but I was desperate for some DnD..."

[@oopsiepoopsie2898]

I ran an evil campaign where I wrote out quirks for all the characters. Those chose randomly. One bowl was good quirks one bowl was bad. I said you would have to include these into your character everything else is up to you. I thought it would be fun. It was also in secret to the other players wouldn’t know what the other drew. One of my friends pulls from the good pile volunteers for local orphanages, then he pulls from the bad pile... pedophile. He strongly did not want to play this character. As soon as the party found out what he was doing they killed him and he was so happy to roll up a new character. Who was a cannibal that owned a home for the homeless.

[@jamesprevatke5973]

Critcrab? More like SMOOTHCRAB I STOLE this comment!

[@TheManowarcraft]

King Crab is moving now...PRAISE BE THE CRAB! ALL HAIL THE CRAB!

[@bapldap3324]

Reminds me of installing mods to beat up the kids in skyrim, besides the sexually assaulting part of course. That's just disgusting.

[@MEXICANMAU19]

in all fairness, the kids in skyrim are assholes and they deserve and arrow to the knee after the upteenth time you walk by them and they give a snarky line

[@PentaHousen]

But think of this artifical created CHILDREN. We can't kill them they are kids... made out of unity engine graphic and code...

[@Watsurname2]

The wobbling claw disturbs meeee, noooo