#1 Narcissism Doctor: Toxic Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist Causing Trauma & Disease | Ramani

Social media often mentions narcissism, but what exactly does this term entail? What traits define a narcissist, and what are the implications of being in a narcissistic relationship? Today’s guest contends that these relationships pose the most significant public health challenges of our time, and the full extent of their impact on our physical and mental well-being remains to be understood.
On today's episode of The Dhru Purohit Show, Dhru engages in a profound discussion with clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, delving into the intricate topic of narcissism. Dr. Ramani offers clear definitions of narcissism, dispelling misconceptions, and highlights the telltale signs to identify a narcissist. Additionally, she dissects the underlying wounds, childhood traumas, and relationship dynamics that may predispose individuals to narcissism, shedding light on how their behaviors can ensnare others into a cycle of blame. This episode delivers profound insights into these toxic relationships, elucidating their detrimental effects on survivors' daily functioning and the resulting health challenges.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She discusses narcissism on her popular KZbin channel, social media, her popular online program on healing from narcissistic abuse, and as the host of the podcast Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani.
In this episode, Dhru and Dr. Ramani dive into:
-The toll that narcissistic relationships take on longevity
-The lack of courage, awareness, and training to identify narcissists
-What is a narcissist and signs to spot one
-A narcissist’s goal, what makes them happy, and childhood wounds
-Can a person stop being a narcissist?
-Transactional praise and blame
-Types of narcissists and their characteristics
-How self-blame arises and navigating toxic relationships
-Sacrifices you make, how to heal, and radical acceptance
-A discerning approach and believing a person when they show you who they are
-Imagining a life without the toxicity and a new way of life
-Being a survivor and self-forgiveness
Also mentioned in this episode:
-Healing program: doctor-ramani.teachable.com/p...
-It's Not You: Identifying and Healing From Narcissistic People: a.co/d/2c4j5Ce
-Dr. Ramani’s Podcast, Navigating Narcissism: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
-Dr. Ramani’s Fireside Chat Network: firesidechat.com/drramaninetwork
For more on Dr. Ramani:
-Instagram: / doctorramani
LUMEBOX is sponsoring today's show. Right now, Lumebox is offering my community $260 off their portable Red Light device! That's over 50% off! Visit thelumebox.com/dhru to get your device.
-Twitter/X: / doctorramani
-KZbin: / @doctorramani
-Website: doctor-ramani.com/
This episode is brought to you by:
-Momentous: livemomentous.com
-BON CHARGE: boncharge.com/DHRU
-Lifeforce: mylifeforce.com/dhru
Optimize your Omega-3 levels by choosing a quality fish oil made by and used by the best. Go to livemomentous.com and enter promo code DHRU to get 20% off any order.
Right now, BON CHARGE is offering my community 15% off; just go to boncharge.com/DHRU and use coupon code DHRU to save 15%.
Right now, you can save $250 on your first diagnostic and get personalized suggestions. Optimize your longevity and track your progress go to mylifeforce.com/dhru!

[@DhruPurohit]

Get my FREE guide Raise Your Omega 3's when you sign up for my weekly health newsletter at www.dhrupurohit.com/omega3

[@yukio_saito]

Thank you for this interview. So helpful.

[@ShelleyPatten]

That.was excellent Dr Sharmi, so spot on and you explained just excellently. God bless you

[@judypohorille208]

How do you relate to.your son when your daughter-in-law is a narc? She has tried to use me as her secondary supply and I have been abused. As a resultI withdrew from my DIL but I struggle with my son who lives a block from me with my DIL. He is displaying her characteristics much of the time towards me. This has changed from.his initial character?

[@S45420]

I'm in a narcissistic relationship for more than 25 years.I belief it's a trauma bond where do I start

[@HelaineChersonsky]

So grateful for all the good information Great interview, p Blessings

[@f.frederickskitty2910]

Living with a narcissist in your life feels like being slowly poisoned

[@alyngrace123]

Yes!

[@bronwyntanner4501]

Yessssss

[@valadilajla]

And possesd

[@Jess-yp9fo]

I have grey hairs all over at the age of 26. I’m so glad God saved my life

[@sine8811]

@@Jess-yp9fo You might want to take some nutritional copper. That's not necessarily from stress alone.

[@adlozi]

Dr Ramani deserves a Nobel Prize.

[@nadinetchaho2618]

💯 This is A revelation My mum and sister died of this exact thing; being in relationship with husbands and people who sucks them dried I had a divine intervention to break this pattern of abuse with partner and family members

[@TD-pg3yf]

This is so helpful for anyone experience this

[@In.the.darkness_there_is_light]

@@AbideenTurkyou are a m@r@n and likely the person that others have to escape from

[@In.the.darkness_there_is_light]

@@AbideenTurkyou are likely the person people are trying to escape from

[@Ela-fu5pz]

If the committee is not filled with narcs

[@angelinamthenjane2671]

I'm a living proof that when you leave a toxic relationship, your health improves tremendously

[@Victory-mq7wz]

Truth ❤

[@leighatkins22]

I lost 40kg in 8 months after i suddenly decided that i was disconnecting from my ex-husband. He is bigger than ever and my son who is also living with him is bigger than ever as well. It is the spirit and energy that they have attached to them like a backpack full of bowling balls that causes them their problems - unhealed trauma from spiritual damage during childhood. The person you meet is the child inside, so happy to see you with childlike wonder and love-bombing, but that child is held captive by a dark energy inside who eventually and slowly takes over and holds that child hostage inside whilst running the show on the outside. The Holy Spirit is the only thing that has the power to break the bonds that those dark energies have over them, and to free the child inside so they can continue to grow, so be a prayer warrior becoz you can't do it by yourself...

[@ND-or5so]

It does improve your health. Still hard to heal, though. But anything other than being with the narcissist is better.

[@luannkelly5071]

I went from a happy healthy, smiling woman to chronic fatigue, 50 pound weight gain, depression, anxiety, bilateral semi detached retinas, Reactivated Epstien Barr, and a nervous breakdown in a matter of 6 years! I had to go on disability. I divorced his a$$ and now 5 years later I am finally about 90% healed and back to working. It is literally life and death!! I am a textbook example of what she is talking about. The psychiatrists did not ever tell me to leave him. That should have been Mal practice!!!!

[@flamingsword777]

I can relate. I was with my ex husband for 25 years and I developed thyroid cancer in my 30's due to reactivated Epstein barr that corkscrewed into my thyroid causing the cancer. Almost died twice due to thyroid storm because no one knew I was sick, even tho I dropped over a 100 pounds and got VERY skinny. I left and have gained 50 pounds and now have trouble losing weight, lol

[@ChickPeaChannel]

Psyciatrists and therapists are not as knowlegable on narc abuse as they should be.

[@theoriginal7727]

Yep. Went from extremely healthy, and then all of these things you are talking about, from a lifetime of heavy metal exposure, mold, illness, and stress. Got EBV with the Lyme disease and everything collapsed. And then… After everything was gone, in the narcissist. More borderline in my case, but ultimately there are all the same. They only want to steal, kill and destroy. And they want to watch people burn. It’s just entertainment to them. I went from 85% dead to varying between 93 and 98% dead. Several times that I almost went under, just in the morning on my way to work. Everything started to get fuzzy and blackout, similar to what had happened decades before when I had drug addiction .… Knowing what an overdose feels like, and then realizing that, though you’ve been sober for many years, you are experiencing that from the stress and sickness and evil of this person, turns it all against you and destroys your relationships and support system in the process!and then pretend like it doesn’t even matter. It’s not a big deal, or they didn’t do it or whatever. They just want you to die when it comes down to it they literally don’t care.

[@theoriginal7727]

@@flamingsword777 that’s crazy, I went through so much gaslighting from the medical industry for years. Already had a major distress for them even before 2020. And all the insanity and bullshit from my ex in the middle of it. Lucky to be alive!

[@flamingsword777]

@@theoriginal7727 yes you are and I'm glad you got out! Not living authentically will definitely kill you, especially if you are very sensitive to energy of all kinds. It's sad that we seem to intuitively know more than the medical professionals what happened to us than they do. I went to an eastern, integrative doctor and leaned what all was going on inside me AFTER the cancer. I was still having problems and she actually told my ex, "I don't know what kind of stress your wife is under, but if it doesn't stop, you're gonna lose her. She WILL die." .I was already going though a massive awakening and that was enough for me to realize what was going on and I told myself it's either him.or me, and I chose me.

[@GuaduSanz]

I traveled around the world with a narcissist and one of the most disturbing things about him was his inability to enjoy the simple beautiful things about life. So good you pointed that! Narcissist take the joy out of you because they are incapable of feeling it themselves, hence they envy it and seek to destroy it in others.

[@gobigirl1]

Yes! I remember my narcissistic ex was unable to take in the beauty of a glorious Greek island, bright blue sea, kind people....I noticed my childhood friend was absolutely dazzled by the beauty, but my then-partner was irritable and impatient.

[@illmeeillmee9373]

@@gobigirl1 Sometimes irritable is justified, it doesnt mean the person is a narc. They have legit complaints. But I see what you mean with people who are impatient and ungrateful they get to witness something most ppl on Earth dont.

[@ripangill7606]

Well said totally agree

[@EvySurvived]

They need constant excitement/drama

[@77sunflowers]

The happiest and strongest people are those who are free from toxic people!!! 😊❤🎉

[@milavieira1013]

I don't think most of those people have any idea what that means LOL By the way, we are stronger for fighting for our souls, and here we are supporting each other... Would those "free people" be able to do or understand that?!;)

[@bronwyntanner4501]

I'm sooo happy and sooo grateful. No contact with mother since 2013. Divorced and left passive aggressive covert narc ex husband 2017. Seriously happy joyous and free living alone with many animals

[@sweetbe49]

Thank you ❤❤

[@tinaleigh3273]

Amen

[@dianawelles1726]

​@@bronwyntanner4501That's me. No more mom. No more abusive boyfriend (s) or husband. No more being put down or squashed out of my own body. I honestly did not know if I was going to survive I was so beaten down for such a long time. I am alive today and getting stronger with every new day but it has been a long hard scary at times road. My dad is definitely dead because of my mother and the way she devalued him steady and constant until he was too weak to even think about trying to leave. She was a self-righteous bully. My younger brother had a stroke a few years ago and I saw it coming. My mom had him squirming and screaming like a chicken being chased with an ax. She wanted me dead from the start, conception actually as she managed to kill my twin I found out much later. When she finally told me in a rage conversation that I should be dead and gone by now and why wasn't I dead and gone by now that I finally dropped her like a hot potato and started my healing journey. There are a lot of people that want to know why I don't talk to my mom and they do not understand at all what I went through all my life with her. I don't try to explain that to them anymore. I know I'm lucky to still be alive and have anything to work with and improve with myself still. My ex-husband still hovers over my son not his and tries to control him. He doesn't see it just like nobody could see what my mom was doing to me. I can only pray he comes out still owning his life from this stage of it. Thanks Romney. You have been part of my healing journey from the beginning when I figured out with the help of a good therapist what was really happening. She couldn't tell until she got enough evidence to prove it to get me started in the right direction. I am very grateful to still have breath in my lungs today. I can start with that

[@yukio_saito]

1:20:00 "When people show you who they are, believe them." 🎯

[@libertycan6959]

you won't see it easily when coverts but they will make you crazy and you will look crazy, and they will look like a victim. master manipulators.

[@Bianca-sw5id]

It such a terrifying experience when it's an attack on you as a human being that you know it's them lying 🤥

[@lorimullen3680]

Good advice to tell yourself every day as a reminder. This is who they are. Remember all the things they have revealed who they really are, now run fast into the other direction!

[@yukio_saito]

@@lorimullen3680 Yes. ⬅🏃‍♂💨💨

[@funnygirlever]

So true! It's sad. 😢

[@tomachibald]

Interesting video content, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@deboralaw-on9od]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

[@tomachibald]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@deboralaw-on9od]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@tomachibald]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@user-zp6ts3re5i]

They leave you flat now and they will try to in the future. She would have left anyway or stayed and cheated. 20 years and mine is still an abandoner. We just live together. The intimacy, honor, affection, respect.... he gave away and still does. I am a last resort. Trust me you're not missing anything

[@gigibtsurvivor3348]

I’ve been saying this. It isn’t PRE-MENOPAUSE - IT’S CHRONIC STRESS AND FEAR.

[@brunorivera8196]

I been felling like you .

[@daileighnovember]

The jackpot is the walk away. 😭😭

[@irenaroman811]

I wish it was that easy!

[@annette7709]

Spot on

[@awendigowithinternetaccess4400]

For me, the jackpot was getting dumped, but obviously, I only saw it in retrospect. In the moment, it was brutal.

[@machinagirl]

@@awendigowithinternetaccess4400Agreed. It was absolutely brutal when it happened. Soul crushing.

[@awendigowithinternetaccess4400]

@machinagirl *hug* I'm so sorry dear, nobody should have to go through that.

[@MayaChadalavada-nz7qg]

Yup. I was sick for years while with a psychopath. Two months after leaving him my health improved by 90%. Issues doctors could not help me with disappeared.... Mind blowing !

[@kocsisaniko1753]

WOW! So well done! Congrats on your courage to get out of the relationship.

[@crystalH30]

Wow thank you for sharing❤

[@Nottygdrasil]

may i ask wich illness you had? CONGRATULATIONS , i am bedridden and depending on a psychopath, no family no help, but i was already sick, he made me 50 % sicker and i developed more illnesses...

[@crystalH30]

@@Nottygdrasil hang in there I’m having a lot of symptoms also this is definitely not easy.😩

[@attractarattigan3574]

Me too... Was on deaths door. Health improved 1,000,000% when I left 40 yrs marriage.. Without meds or surgery.

[@livkind3522]

It took me getting cancer and him immediately leaving for a new supply to realize. It’s mind boggling. Depleting. Can ruin you. Don’t let it. Do not let it.

[@stavroulapsiharis8357]

I pray your doing great now love.im about to leave too.❤❤bless us all.

[@macareuxmoine]

I am happy you survived and learned! I hope you healed well.

[@_byefat]

And may your recovery be the new supply for you! ❤

[@LaurenOliviArt]

I’m so sorry that happened. But thankfully it did, that way you could release from the depleting energy

[@audreymickens4390]

Narcissist are very hyper vigilant; always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And see a threat everywhere. And yes, nothing is ever enough for them. In 12 mos, I only saw this toxic person seem relaxed twice.

[@christinewright2829]

She is describing my life. I truly believe everything she is saying. I am so grateful she is making this issue more public!!

[@junepagan8715]

I hope you find peace

[@midlifemom5829]

My life too! I cpuld literally feel my body deteriorate when I am in the midst of text argument with narc husbands . I have shown my therapist the text chains from my husband and she confirms i am being emotionally abused by narc husband

[@Peaceful903]

Same here and can’t leave

[@Christine-jg3hf]

Same Here Me Also! May GOD BLESSED US ALL!💞💞💞💪💪💪🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@midlifemom5829]

@@Christine-jg3hf , my husband just texted me this evening ranting disparaging things to me about what i dont do , how i disrespect him, how he works so hard, etc. All i ever do during these situations is avoid engaging, keep replies short , and try my best to not get baited into arguing. He always threatens to leave, but doesn't.

[@InvisibleWarrior279]

The mind-body connection is a VERY real thing. Maybe being alone isn’t ideal but it beats the hell out of being in a destructive relationship - on every level!

[@comnandmentsdeadlysins]

Being alone is not for everyone but there are those who are truely happy being alone. They have experienced enough to know how others choose to live is not for them as it depletes them of their energy to live. The extroverts attention seeking people are over ruling the introverts who also have a purpose as they see this reality completely different.

[@annaromanowski5722]

Radical acceptance and self care ❤

[@jennifergraff233]

100% gave me cancer that I know I would have not had otherwise. Long term trauma makes you physically sick.

[@rudinetaggart]

So sorry that happened.

[@TheDiamondEdge1]

Yep. I have just been diagnosed with cancer, no cancer in my family 🙄

[@theartzscientist8012]

@@TheDiamondEdge1I have Brain cancer from narcissistic abuse.

[@thisisme1981]

@@theartzscientist8012I’m so sorry!!! ❤God heals and restores!

[@prettypuppy6752]

Multiple health problems are very common in victim survivors of NPD abuse. From my early childhood I have been ill from the toxic treatment I received from my violent and emotionally abusive Overt Narcissistic father ( diagnosed by several Psychiatrists). I then married a man exactly the same in all ways except for the physical violence, and my health deteriorated even more to the point that I was told by a leading Nephrologist my kidneys were failing without any physiological explanation. That same week my ex husband admitted that he began cheating on me when I was 7 months pregnant. Returned to live with my parents with our one year old child…He changed the locks on the family home and kept all of my belongings and I then underwent 15 years of court cases from the prolonged and traumatic divorce process to several custody fights, including legal proceedings against my parents and the police, 14 and then another 21 charges of contempt of court declared quasi/ criminal charges brought against me by my ex husband whilst he simultaneously perpetrated extreme parental alienation which still impacts the once loving and healthy relationship I had with my only child ( who is now 29 years old and her father disowned 4 years ago when she refused to commit an illegal act he was forcing her (through cruel emotional blackmail) to do on his behalf which monumentally back fired on him and he was then charged with a criminal act of fraud by the police that instigated charges of medical misconduct by the medical board). He falsely claimed he was suffering from a terminal illness to try to get the charges and the court proceedings dropped but I don’t know the final outcome) According to my daughter’s uncle her father’s estranged brother, the terminal illness was another fabrication. Her father then began a vicious smear campaign against our daughter hell bent on destroying her own medical career which also backfired on him and she is now finally free from him and his dangerous, toxic behaviour at considerable cost to her own emotional health. Yet she is free at last to live her life and is forging a very successful medical career as a Specialist physician. After 15 years of using the Family Court as his main weapon of Narcissistic revenge he was finally declared a Malignant Covert Narcissist with Anti Social Personality Disorder ( court appointed psychologist vexatious litigator and could no longer initiate any further legal action against me. By then I was a wreck but I kept on going because of my beautiful daughter who thankfully saw through her father’s lies and returned to live with me for the last few years of her schooling. He wouldn’t pay child support yet was a self employed medical profession She topped the State in Biology, was Dux of her class and won many academic prizes including a scholarship to a prestigious university which paid for her accommodation in the college etc. whilst she studied pre med and then medicine. Once my daughter left for college… I was still so financially compromised by the years of financial abuse instigated by my ex husband’s campaign to avoid paying child support, I was now alone once more living with my family of origin… and at age 48 my life became a replica of my former abusive childhood where I was the scapegoat and the severe violence returned this time from both my father and my schizoaffective ( medically diagnosed at age 15) brother. Within 4 years I was hospitalised with severe malnutrition ( Beri Beri)

[@_xanna]

When you can’t sleep as a teenager, doctors don’t ask about your domestic life, they just say “get off your phone at night”

[@Portia620]

Yep!

[@Portia620]

I had a cop tell me I should not be in my phone when my husband is talking to me! That’s how I survived!!! He was psycho later in the years and never displayed that in begginigm! So then we spend years thinking what the hell is wrong with us so we’ve been up with somebody like that because my life was never that crazy and then I hear it’s from my childhood which is BS a man can con!! I want to use the word man is because there’s not too many women they’re out there, but not half as many as men

[@In.the.darkness_there_is_light]

This comment. This was my niece and nephew. 😢

[@robmcguckin7605]

@@Portia620 LOL, I don't know what part of the world you are from but in my world, women narcs outnumber male narcs twice over.

[@MarkaveliRises]

Wow. Profound to read as someone with many young nieces and nephews. I always ask what’s on their mind, and this comment reminds me that I been doing the right thing. I hope ppl reading this always have someone and a place to take the issues on your mind. Create art!🎨🎶🦾. m

[@kateesaia]

They say there's no cure for lupus, but my lupus was out of control when I was with my narcissistic ex-husband and now that he's gone, the inflammation and lupus markers are gone, too. 🙏🎉❤️

[@pavlinahrebackova3000]

That is amazing! Good for you! 🍀 congratulations

[@Victoria-qk3mu]

Awesome praise the Father ❤❤

[@pavlinahrebackova3000]

@@Victoria-qk3mu No Father, but she could be grateful and pride of yourself, she did, she make all the hard and difficult and important decisions. Praise herself.

[@celiaverdinho9835]

100% Dr Ramani. I am 8 years divorced from a malignant narcisist. I am alive and had to relocate. Not yet found a new partner and I am still concerned about abusive relashionships but happy to be alone and safe:)

[@therivercake871]

Do shadow work and list what your weaknesses are. When narcs try to enter your life you will be strong and knowledgeable about what they are targeting (do they positively overwhelm by triggering your needs but too early etc). good luck x

[@teodoradediu7971]

They are pradators and criminals. Not because of our shadows or limits they prey on us. We need to protect ourselves first.

[@cindy7733]

I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and thought, "my God you look like you've aged 10 years in the 2 years you've lived with this narc." This video isn't a surprise but feels so validating.

[@Irisgomesjmjfaith]

Same

[@Nanouk2021]

Same here

[@auraaura4656]

The same i see myself.😢

[@miminini9857]

Same ! But I am healing, you will too 😊. I did some shopping last week, did not do so for two years ! I don't even want to wear clothes that i wore when i was with this predator ! God, this freedom ! 😌😌

[@DoubleOSevenOO7]

Same here I’ve aged 5 years or more since he moved back from NJ after being laid off from a job that I only saw him late Friday he slept most of sat from airport boozeathon hangovers n Sunday he left again. Now he’s home all the time an constantly abusing me verbally emotionally constant lying just abuse every way!!!🥵😡

[@sharcarbone8668]

My Narrsistic husband called me stupid the other night, i said " i would rather be stupid then evil rotten, and heartless." I would never had said that to him 5 years ago. I love my boundries.

[@hendraniekerk-brandmessagi9329]

Good for you!

[@Jooleah-Gooleah]

I suffered with chronic unexplained G.I. disturbances and whole body physical agony for years. My physical pain was so intense that I would wake up from a dead sleep with tears streaming down my face because the pain had woken me up. Almost instantly after leaving my husband, I was having normal bowel movements and my chronic pain completely disappeared. When I realized what was going on and why I wasn't having those problems anymore, I dropped to my knees and broke down sobbing at the reality of what the abuse was causing and that I had a new lease on life.

[@attractarattigan3574]

Congratulations on leaving & your health recovery.

[@Jxb56581]

Me too! I also had constant GI issues and irregular hormonal cycles. Less than a month into No Contact I was improving. One year out now and I am regular in every way. The only thing I changed is my interaction with him. They absolutely bring a stress that makes you physically ill.

[@Jooleah-Gooleah]

@@Jxb56581 both the clinician and psychologist that I see recommended the book "the body keeps the score" to me after I shared this with them. It might help bring some light to your situation as well! I feel like the physical impact of abuse is not nearly talked about enough. Now that I'm out and have a good support system I realize that unless you've been through this, you have no concept of what it's like and what it does to a person on the receiving end. I've been out since January and I'm still learning. It is absolutely mind-boggling. I'm glad you're out and hopefully thriving!

[@yvonnebertrand3731]

Dr. Gabor Mate writes extensively about the physical/disease onsets of being in a toxic relationship and stress in his book When the Body Says No

[@flamingsword777]

Yep. I love Dr.Mate!

[@Victoria-qk3mu]

Right, I have his book. ❤

[@hbbstn]

I agree that toxic people is an issue overlooked by most people. People are not careful about who is close to them.

[@theoriginal7727]

We are finally coming to understand, and soon will be coming to terms with the age old problem of human evil. We finally have a somewhat medical and scientific understanding of how and why this happens. Now shall we have the political will too and purge the monster from humanity for all time?

[@tmjewel]

How do we do it?

[@comnandmentsdeadlysins]

@@theoriginal7727 That is what I am here to witness. In the meantime I will focus on happy healthy humans as when society breaks I want no evil in my life because the ego destruction is not going to be pretty. Have faith that the fall of unhealthy controling systems will happen in my life time as it already happening.

[@dianedeclare8541]

As long as there is capitalism there will always be individual competition and the narcissist that go with that

[@Spartan_Nyziko]

One does not need to be careful if he or she doesn't think there's a threat. Metaphorically, you wouldn't step around like there were mines embedded in the ground if it wasn't a minefield. Growing up for me, IF I'd known, I'd be more careful, a hundred percent

[@ana-maria6443]

Narcissists are a stressor for everyone in their life. I'm so glad Dr. Ramani is speaking up about this very prevalent but ignored issue.

[@jasminfromgermany7960]

Narcissistic parents are destroying childrens life. As an adult, you can't find your inner peace. That's so sad. Not everybody can afford an expensive therapist.

[@elipotter369]

Anna who does youtube crappy childhood fairy may help with that.

[@Portia620]

Many times they can’t identify it anyway they’re not criminologist they haven’t worked for the FBI. It takes years. I’ve been studying it daily and it takes time being around somebody to see it really close attention

[@comnandmentsdeadlysins]

Tim Fletcher has done a world of good for me working on CPTSD.

[@bestimpersonations]

It took me a lifetime to figure out that you have to do this work at the onset. For years, I couldn't figure out why I kept ending up in relationships with narcissistic people. I guess I had to go through all of that to get to the point where I could understand that it is all about prevention! Boundaries! Gates! Fences! Discernment! Intruder alarms!

[@nowhere_else_to_go_]

Yes me too! And it takes practice, a lot of practice, to learn how to put your armor on and shield up BEFORE going into battle. To be fair, though, we never knew we were in a war until after we got shot a billion times.

[@bestimpersonations]

@@nowhere_else_to_go_ Exactly. *BEFORE* is the ticket. It seems so obvious now. How many years I wasted raging about people I let into my life.

[@han1nja]

what to do if you’re the separated parent of children whose father is a raging narcissist? They constantly call me in distress after he’s raged at them or attacked them verbally or gaslit them & caused so much distress that they’re crying to me…and I feel so helpless, because I can’t do anything to protect them from this monster of a human… All I can do is remind them that it’s his issues, not theirs, and that he is not behaving like an adult, let alone a parent… and I can see it’s taking a huge toll on them as they’re now in their teens.

[@leetos.4915]

And may I add also… armed security guard with bulletproof charger police car

[@dassanghamitra]

My 12 years of chronic joint and muscle pain significantly reduced after moving out. How powerful a peaceful mind could be! Without you, Dr. R, I would have never known how it feels to be alive AGAIN! 💗

[@lastofthe70schildren70]

After 8 plus years of been in a toxic relationship I now have osteoarthritis. Was feeling the life literally been sucked out of me as the narcissist was living in my house and was extremely hard to conceive to move out as the supply for them was the roof over their head- until this month!🥂🍾Thankfully I became FREE during the 1st week of May ‘24 and I’m praying that my health recovers as I begin to rebuild my life again! Narcissistic abuse is truly demonic. Run away from these people before they lead you to an early grave! 🏃🏽‍♀️

[@Ela-fu5pz]

So so true​@@lastofthe70schildren70

[@Irisgomesjmjfaith]

Going through the chronic pain right now.

[@winning3329]

Being under constant stress can cause illnesses.

[@livkind3522]

They will not give you ANYTHING like praise unless it’s FOR something they need. They’ll change their tone. They’ll say what you might need to hear and them BOOM their latest demands. And knocking you off your pedestal. They seem to hate you. And twist everything you think you know. About life. About yourself. About them.

[@mary-ann2294]

That's the absolute truth.

[@Me_di]

Norwegians

[@elipotter369]

I dumped my narcissist friend who was very bossy, controlling, insulting and incredibly rude after i started getting heart palpitations about our next planned outing. "Time to go, no matter what".

[@RachelleSmith-ic4sb]

Yup I didn't have any heart palpitations when I didn't see him but when I saw him my palpitations came back! It's so telling.

[@joybarton3460]

The analogy of the slot machine is brilliant. You keep putting in to it, to get little or nothing back. You get emotionally and mentally trapped, thinking if you keep trying, it will change. The truth that your body feels it first is so true. Stomach issues, heart palpitations, low immunity, etc. Thank you Dr. Ramani for sharing this

[@Portia620]

Conditional Learning look at Pablo’s dog. It makes sense.

[@dianedeclare8541]

So revealing when you say that they keep gambling because they don't want anyone else to get their jackpot

[@saturdayschild8535]

This is why I advocate for those survivors of narcissistic abuse instead of those living with cluster b personality profiles. Even when they seek help for themselves, they still don’t care one bit for the stress and health issues they cause their victims. Dr Ramani has a lot of haters that are worried about a label when the victims are losing their health, quality of life, and actual lives.

[@travelinghearttattoos5482]

My mum sacrificed her life this is something I have realized over the last few years. And I dare say so many others have and will continue to do so.i feel like a good cry coming on thinking of my mum. I know I’m not alone. I honor my good times I had with her and she’s never forgotten love you mum.

[@denisedevoto5703]

That is so nice to hear. So glad she has you on her side. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue over 20 years ago. Grew up in a toxic household and married a very toxic man, and my daughter doesn't seem to understand. I wish my daughter understood more.

[@sukhadaadasi9552]

@Denise...... Daughter's Have Qualities Of Father .......FULL STOP 🛑

[@awebs121]

No~ such nonsense! This is a spiteful generalisation; also untrue and unhelpful.. in any curative or clinical setting. Think before you type!

[@awebs121]

I ditto what you say ~ my mother’s experience much like yours-in an age when even the courts litigiously-abused unsupported lone mothers (via male judges) up until 1980’s and supported the ‘rights’ of entitled, unfaithful NPD males and misogynistic and feckless fathers! I’m 70 now and know this as 1950/60’s FACT. It was mine and similar kids’ £ poor and distressed childhoods due to sociopathic actions of a ‘father..’ incapable of unconditional love. The only love they nurtured ~ their own Self love.

[@han1nja]

Any advice welcome, Please help: I’m the mother of 3, separated for over 10yrs now from a covert narcissist, who has unfortunately remained in the kids lives although they live with me. He seems to have become even more of a raging narcissist as they’ve entered their teens & starting to realise the type of person he truly is underneath all the manipulation & lies. Recently his behaviour around the kids has started to get so much worse & more controlling than ever & if they don’t do what he says or if they answer back or say something he doesn’t like he will suddenly switch from being pleasant & normal to verbally abusing, swearing & threatening them, and my son gets threatened physically. They regularly call me in distress after he’s raged at them or attacked them verbally or gaslit them & caused one of them so much distress that they’re calling me crying…and I feel so helpless, because I can’t really say or do anything to protect them from this monster of a human, and I can’t get him out of their lives either, even if I tried to prove that he’s abusive towards them in a court, they are all terrified of how he’d react to them even accusing him of that, he’s literally mastered gaslighting them & making everything look like their fault or my fault… All I can do is remind them that he has problems, not them, and that he is not behaving like an adult, let alone a parent… It’s really starting to take a huge toll on them as they’re now in their teens, and also on me, because I just don’t have the strength, the capacity or the resources to overcome this monster, and I feel like such a failure & like I’m letting them down by allowing them to continue to experience this traumatic relationship with their father… 😢

[@sunshine92192]

I moved in with my bf and didn’t know about narcissism yet, but I began experiencing chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, it was a terrible 2 years. I made the choice to move out and after living alone with him out of the picture I began feeling better and within 2 months I was no longer napping during the day, but while living with him I took 2 - 3 naps a day, plus slept 9 hours a night but it was not restful. I fell for the hoover but didn't let him move in, I noticed after we spent time together or if he spent the night I felt exhausted. I finally let him go and have felt much better mentally and emotionally. This is so true and I am so thankful for you Dr. Ramani!! I was gaslit so much by the covert narcissist, possibly malignant because he enjoyed inflicting pain. He would bait me into anger and crying and would sit there smirking while I cried, very sickening!

[@user-zn9cg5ki5i]

A significant problem for Clinical Psychologists and Therapists is that many of our senior Medical colleagues are themselves Narcissistic or have poor filters for noticing Narcissism. Attempting therapy is a huge challenge as many medical professionals gaslight therapists and patients in order to maintain their dominant care position. Then if challenged they go next level responding to their narcissistic injury. And may I add ….. mental health administration systems are a narcissistic haven 🙈

[@user-bi5mq4yy6r]

Yeah, seen it felt it know it lost a child to it. I hear you.

[@shipratrika2586]

I would say this doc here has all the good info., but I would never go to see her as my therapist. There are many therapists like her. But are not the real deal

[@yukio_saito]

The book title is also a mantra. Remember it when you feel guilty or self-blame in a toxic relationship, "It's not you." 😊

[@josiep1166]

I'm in process of leaving Mr. Narcissist. I pray I get out and away soon.

[@unknowntraveler1111]

4 years of trying to get out. Heart failure, ptsd, depression and anxiety but I got out

[@dhlbruin]

🎉🎉congratulations

[@whitneysawyer483]

Dealing with a Narcissist who has tried to destroy me for years.

[@auraaura4656]

Sill with him?

[@whitneysawyer483]

@@auraaura4656 Yes

[@1948rambo]

Get OUT!

[@l.dianneclevenger2559]

She's correct. Toxic relationships will take your quality of life and then your very life. Caution, please don't think it can't happen to you. Be vigilant and be wary they are out there waiting to ruin lives. It's beyond sad and bad.

[@user-uf3ds5py8p]

This definitely needs to be exposed, as so many are silent to express how pitiful life is for those in toxic relationships.

[@rudinetaggart]

I agree. Others need to know how we're being treated.

[@Golgibaby]

Exposure to these chronic toxic relationships in all of their forms is truly the equivalent of exposure to toxic environmental chemical harm, if not on an internal vulnerable poisonous scale. Bravo Dr. Ramani! Mahalo for this conversation both of you!

[@anabellaparis1]

What about the covert narcissists ? I strongly believe my husband is a covert passive agressive narcissist. It's like a patern he does the same things over and over again and has no remorse, no empathy for the stress he's causing me.

[@codyjohnson7150]

It can take years to figure out their game

[@bravelily2581]

Run. I’ve been married for over 21 years, now divorcing, a covert narcissist. Im so wrecked physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, financially. I wish I left sooner, I will never be the person I was before him. Staying for faith and children -guess what? The children are getting ruined too.

[@lightbulb888]

I think a covert narcissist is worse. Save yourself and leave quietly

[@elizabethhoeppner8881]

It took me years to see it. Still working on getting out and free. Society is rigged to protect Narcissists not the victims.

[@Shay4YourMind81]

@@bravelily2581Facts 💯I wish you all the best in making your exit.

[@kimhumiston2686]

I have said for years that I take and take, and I finally blow. Well, now, I don't take. I keep toxic people out of my life. I have learned so much from watching Dr. Ramani, Jerry Wise, and others. Once you recognize the symptoms, you need to distance yourself. Knowledge is power! ❤

[@user-rz4xi2qc5e]

I truly truly am a believer. Now I have breast cancer 7 years after Uterus cancer. The stress and anxiety almost killed me. I could not control my diabetes. Every doctor visit showed a decline in my health. From my eyes to my feet. It was so not worth it to try to make it work. Nothing working with a Narc. It took me 30 yrs to leave. I wasn't crazy. These videos are life saving. They saved my life and have happily helped me to leave and move forward. Thank you so much.

[@mary-ann2294]

Agree, 25 yrs for me starting at 65. No more anxiety attacks, heart issues, loss of sleep. I now have peace. Yes, it's painful to leave but more painful to stay.

[@user-vo5qo3rn3g]

Wow, so beautiful to hear your testimony. And how much a human body can be affected by bad people being around or not. This awareness is saving women's lives. Such a joy to see.

[@pamelamann2103]

Lived this way 58 years, wore a full mouthpiece for TMJ my entire life got away 3 years ago, and haven't worn one since. I did have a brain aneurysm and wasn't expected to live, but I pulled through and will NEVER get caught in that again!!

[@lindawheeler3479]

I got a new therapist, and I was out of a relationship in weeks after 20 yrs of abuse while having major health issues. Years later, I saw the old, long-term therapist out. We talked, and she commented on how she watched my health decline year after year, but that I looked great now. She never told me that I was in an abusive, toxic relationship. That he would never get better. I kelp, trying to fix him. Fix me. She didn't believe in divorce unless adultery. I felt so betrayed. I couldn't see the damage.

[@nightprancer1282]

I told my therapist I was terribly lonely with my partner and that he was insensitive and often abusive alternating with love bombing and I wanted to leave him. My therapist discouraged me saying it’s better to stay than “find yourself utterly alone” and I believed him. 20 years later I wish I had left because I’m physically and mentally emotionally drained.

[@nightprancer1282]

And yes with major health issues

[@pavlinahrebackova3000]

I am very sorry that that happened to both of you with therapy, the one place where we put our trust and shoulder and should be safe place. Unfortunately I have also unhappy experience with therapy. I wish both of you all the best and healing, good for you, you are out of that relationship. 🍀🍀🍀

[@Portia620]

Mine didn’t either!!!

[@Portia620]

Therapist suck many times! Sad

[@katehampstead6024]

"he/she makes me sick" says it all. At some level, people know. Even if they don't know......somewhere deep down, they know.

[@Portia620]

No we don’t know! You can’t speak for everyone! 🤦‍♀️. Look at how many intelligent people have been conned by Conman women it’s ignorant to say people know!

[@Portia620]

Even therapist don’t even even know

[@user-vo5qo3rn3g]

​@@Portia620She meant your body knew. "The Body Never Lies" and "The Body Keeps The Score" are 2 great books. The mind can lie based in the lies fed to us by malignant people but the body never lies. Which explains why patriarchy puts down the body/flesh and holds the mind superior when the opposite is true. Patriarchy lies about everything lol.

[@tinaalbritton3450]

Dr. Ramani is Genius She is the one who opened my eyes to what I'm actually dealing with, in my 33 year Toxic marriage! She is 💯 correct with her assessments,the links between wellness & Toxic relationships! I feel trapped with no way out, but I try to Stay hopeful that one day I will be free! I would give anything, to have a One on one session, Dr Ramani! ❤

[@user-vo5qo3rn3g]

You'll get out! Rooting for you.

[@bronwyntanner4501]

I was sooo sick. Depression. IBS. Adrenal fatigue. All as a result of toxic relationships. Mother. Alcoholic first husband. Narcissist second husband. Narc ex romance 2018. Five former friends. No contact with them. Healing and recovering daily. Thanks to Dr Ramani my journey and growth has been sooo welcome

[@henrik4417]

You are absolutely one of the biggest gifts to humanity Dr. Ramani - all your free videos I watched years ago (and the program in that time), are on of the big reasons I am alive today. Thank you Dr. Ramani.

[@dianawelles1726]

This brought me to tears.

[@mountain10]

An absolute God send. We need a way to deprogram our adult children who married a narcissist! They are ruining our families!!!! How do we help our adult children out!!!!!

[@user-mf1kv4lk2m]

My excruciating knee infection cleared up almost immediately when I left my narc 9 months ago. My depression and anxiety are almost completely gone bc I had a lot to process and cry out but I feel like a kid again with all my energy levels improving.

[@shaunogg9966]

I was balding through my 15yrs with my ex covert narcissistic girlfriend. I have been separated from her for 2.5yrs and for the last year (after my mental healing was improving) my hair is growing back. It's a slow process but every week it gets thicker. Also the saying "it takes two to tango" was my ex girlfriend's favourite saying.

[@elipotter369]

Wow!

[@robmcguckin7605]

17 years married with a covert narc. Ten years in, she had me convinced I had ADHD. Twelve years in, I went on meds for depression. I finally decided to do some research after ruling it out that it wasn't me and thats when I learned what a narcissist was. Look into biotin and taurine for the hair and good luck to you!

[@hbbstn]

My mom is narcissistic, and my sister has some of the traits. I worry about my mom the most because she is getting old and needs assistance. She is always playing games, putting herself as the victim to gain attention and financial help. Despite having her own pension money, which could support a family of five, there are periods when I take a break from her, especially when I sense she's going to ask for money. She usually makes you feel like a crappy son if you don't help. To top it off, she's a hoarder of clothing and animals. Observing my mom throughout the years as an adult son has made me believe that some people won't change. It's a take-it-or-leave-it situation.

[@robinantonio8870]

Dump her

[@user-gz4ve8mw9l]

My mother is a narcissist herself, stole the first 34 years of my life from me. Took me until 2019 to get diagnosed correctly with CPTSD. Due to suffering decades of traumatic abuse and neglect of every single form. The state I'm in has locked me into filial laws due to her handing everything to my brother the golden child. I escaped at 30 when she tried to kill me. Started to be able to think clearly and live for the first time in my life. Now I am trapped with her from 34 until the end of her life as her caregiver by law.

[@MCR1565]

Run away! Ps. What state/country are you in?

[@miriam100ful]

@@user-gz4ve8mw9l how can you be the care giver by law, what about the golden child who inherited everything?

[@user-gz4ve8mw9l]

@@miriam100ful He lives out of state, the state I'm in has the strictest filial laws in the USA. He was gifted everything, which triggered a penalty period exceeding a decade. It was done deliberately when my mother started losing her mind to dementia. I found the correspondence between my mother and brother they planned everything. So here I am trapped once more until some point in my 40s. I don't know if I'll ever get a chance to start my life at this point unfortunately. I'm not allowed to leave the house I have to take care of her 24/7 unpaid.

[@phoenixrising4768]

The most important and challenging part for me was not to share good news and achievements with ppl who trivialize it by questioning it's worth etc. Grow silently. It's for yourself. Not to prove others, you're also worthy of being seen.

[@Prettywirth]

So true,i couldn't happily inform my husband about my(our) pregnancy because I knew he'd invalidate my happiness..

[@jaligawesa]

This Dr needs to be given an AWARD!! She’s courageous to talk about Behavioural issues in our today’s society!!! She’s an ADVOCATE!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🧠🤩🥰

[@HarryBarker-yp1xv]

It's true, get away and heal

[@Arms_Akimbo]

So great to see Dr. Ramani as a guest. Many moons ago her expertise helped me sort myself out and finally heal after a really painful relationship with a narcissist/sociopath. The world really needs to know what those individuals are and stay away. What a blessing this lady is!! Thank you Dr. Ramani and Dhru for inviting such a great expert on the subject.

Narcissists personify the old adage 'Looks are deceiving'.

[@miriamhavard7621]

Well, some of these narcissists ARE unattractive, too.

[@stein-fredricsvendsen8530]

After 5 years in a Toxic relationship my bloodpressure hit the roof. I ended up with a Stroke

[@diashelle]

After going low-contact with two close family members two years ago, I went through a very deep grieving process. Within the last few months, my energy levels have begun to increase. Once I stopped ruminating about what might have been/ what else could I do, the energy leaks slowed to trickle. I’m looking forward to seeing how much more happens without them draining me.

[@iw9338]

Yes, a lot of grieving 😮😢

[@diashelle]

@@iw9338 mostly of my illusions about my family. A dream/ nightmare that needed to end.

[@leona2222]

Gosh, I’m on the precipice of this scenario. I’m very sad. Not many family members left after this.

[@diashelle]

@@leona2222 I feel you. I hope you get support.

[@AfionFada]

Inspiring. I’m going through a lot of grieving & guilt RN.

[@LibbyRomolo]

I have never found covert narcs to be charismatic. Like all narcs, they love to play the victim and even saviour cards and continuously engage in smear campaigns.

[@Mareb5818]

then they don’t have to look at themselves…taking others inventory… instead of their own

[@LynnsYouTube]

My mom died at 69. Her mom and sister died at 89 and 93 respectively. Guess who was married to a narcissist. My mom was healthy all her life and never weighed over 125.

[@Ela-fu5pz]

I am so sorry for your loss. . I feel you. My mom the same. Her relatives all of them way over 80s

[@LynnsYouTube]

@@Ela-fu5pz Thank you.

[@Mareb5818]

people also that live in denial will outlive people that are emotionally abused .

[@livkind3522]

My mom died at 71. Married since 18. The trauma and chaos changes you. It’s hard to move on when they destroy you from the inside out too. When he died it wasn’t a magic jump to all is well as he had dismantled her self esteem and feeling of peace. I married someone who left me feeling as destroyed as he did her.

[@LynnsYouTube]

@@livkind3522 I'm so sorry. Sounds unimaginably painful. I hope you are healing.

[@paratrooper73]

Oh my god, can someone make a movie about such a relationship and call it The Casino. That would be briljant. Says it all.

[@tinaferr]

Communal and self-righteous narcissists...super salient and interesting. Wolves in sheeps clothing

[@Ela-fu5pz]

Totally

[@roberth2627]

@@Ela-fu5pz And some of the most dangerous ..!

[@sonatak304]

"what is the toll of a toxic relationship" Yessss!!!

[@mikieemiike3979]

I'm literally surrounded by narcissists. My mom, my dad, one of my sisters and my extended family. I'm thankful that my wife is that person of reason who tells me I'm the not crazy or that maybe im overthinking things. I'm truly grateful.

[@laughoncomedy2923]

Am so happy for you dear.

[@25johis]

Since I moved out from this toxic town (Cult mentality) I have less, less anxiety. Less pain, skin problems, my hair is healthier and really stronger mentally and physically. My family and I have goals, discipline and greatful for being a new place ❤

[@MarthaGonzalez-nw9yt]

I’ve been married to a narcissist for 30 years. After 2 years of marriage started getting sick al the time. I wasDiagnosed with Depression, fibromyalgia, HBP, and had a stroke 3 years ago🥲

[@jerinpeter1390]

Getting there. It's so confusing. My shoulders and abdomen aches so badly. The mind gets fogged. It's more of BPD and NPD. I get lovebombed and then gaslighted. It's so confusing!

[@skeptik-ci5xo]

I still cannot get over that fact that every time I watch Dr. Ramani, she is describing my sister. About 99.9% of the NPD traits apply to her. It just blows my mind.

[@rosebeard2866]

I believe forgiving yourself is real important and benefits you in your healing path❤

[@LibbyRomolo]

1:48:28 Absolutely! Why would we ever forgive the evil that ruins our lives? Self-forgiveness is so difficult. I just wish I'd been enlightened on the subject of toxic relationships years ago and understand that this obviously resonates with many others.

[@loreleiturgeon1062]

My dad died when I was 2,my step dad died when I was 14,my brother died from aids at a young age,my kids father died in a car accident when they were in there teens,my mom and sis died from cancer .so my mom got cancer in 2009,i got cancer 2010,and my sis 2012.i still get hotflashes since chemo in 2010.i quit drinking alcohol and then cigarettes in 2011. Put on a bit to much weight, but not smoking . Now I'm finding out the hard way that my boyfriend of26yrs. May be narcissistic? Um why ? I don't understand why one person gets all the grief, but i keep trucking on. Now either have to leave my 26 yr relationship or learn how to not let him bring me down. Marijuana helps alot but not enough. Now finding these videos helps me to understand more of a narcissistic person. Thank you for that.

[@SB-qv3yo]

ex hub and adult son narcs...Been a long process to get son out of my house... almost there. Experiences so stressful at day and night I am going to start a new in a new state and haven't told anybody yet; just to feel like I can finally sit down and relax inside and feel safe.

[@lightbulb888]

Did you get him out or you ended up opting for leaving yourself?? I'm realising my son is like his dad 😢

[@janicerichard1435]

I am so thankful I found your podcasts 3 years ago. I spent 15 years trying to figure out why my partner changed almost immediately once we got married. The 3 years we dated turned out to be the love-bombing stage. Last year, at the age of 69, I got the courage to leave this marriage right before our 18th anniversary. My health improved significantly. I love your new book! I still tune into your podcasts daily. Thank you for addressing this issue. You really helped me realize who he is. I hoped for years he would change!

[@junepagan8715]

Good for you!

[@elipotter369]

You're an inspiration.

[@aliciahaviland7649]

Yes it happened to me too, shortly after the wedding ceremony. Unbelievable. I was only married for 4 months and worked to get him out of my house for nearly 7 months later. It had to be his idea and he said he was going to abandon the marriage for the divorce. He's since disappeared, no contact which for me is great, but now difficult to find to send the divorce papers. My lawyer says it won't be a problem. Oh the love bombing was incredible and when it went bad, it was scary. Glad it's over with.

[@robmcguckin7605]

@@aliciahaviland7649 4 month's? You dodged a bullet. The lovebombing was great and then, the day of the wedding I saw a side that scared me and I actually was thinking of canceling it but I had my entire family from the states in her home country 4000 miles from home. I stuck it out and 17 years later, its just me, the dog and occasionally my daughter. Good luck with the divorce and do as the experts advise and go no contact! Its the only way!

[@aliciahaviland7649]

​​@@robmcguckin7605no worries about contact, he moved in with someone shortly after he left like a month and a half and the first day that he left he posted he was single. Already hooking up with others. He texted gal and her friend posted for all to see that he sent a nude to her and their text message back and forth on his Facebook account and that friend also posted on his own Facebook to tell others he's a dirty old man. He got caught out but he doesn't care because it's attention that he seems and of course supply. He changed his phone number etc. so that he can't be reached plus no address since he's not on the rental or mortgage, I know someone else is paying for him. Oh he will give a little money but then you will never hear the end of how you spend all his money. That's just for bills. We are not talking about buying firilous things. Like food now is so ridiculously priced. He never paid rent or repairs on the cars etc. I could go on but you get the picture.

[@Sunny-or8bq]

I have not been helped and thank you. This needs to be addressed by the Medical Association (AMA) which I did and and he listened about 7 months ago. (meaning my Primary Physician) Why did all this happen? I had an emergency operation over 2 years ago, things went south in the operating room and the head physician said I died on the table as my body just could not handle it for some reason. Blood pressure went to Zero and heart stopped. Why, I didn't know at that time. Was in ICU for days. I got sepsis and an abdominal abscess, spent 3 months in the hospital trying to stay alive. I made it, but my bones, everything is not the same. I left him 6 months ago (I am thin, tall and relatively good shape but the deterioration was there). A 5 year live in relationship that was 5 years too long. I still could kick myself still for staying so long. Today my hair stylist said my blonde hair is getting thicker, I am so happy 4 months later living in a new place. Yes it can happen but I have a long way to go, Much anxiety, skin problems ( will get laser in June) still and paranoia exists which is also in part of PTSD. Thank you for this video Dr. Ramani, please don't let this issue which is very real go. One day at a time, slowly.

[@janettrout-gn2cb]

I never blamed myself. I knew something was wrong with him. I just kept hoping her would mature. That will never happen. I divorced him 7 months ago after 43 yrs.

[@pmmac2382]

I agree that health improves after Narcissist is gone but that includes gone from your mind. The end of the relationship can take a lot of time to stop ruminating over the failed relationship. Feels like climbing out of a deep well

[@scodes77]

I have been overweighted for 30 years of my life until I left my parents, mostly my mother. I lost more than 20 lbs in the time of less than 6 months and I ate everything that I wanted to eat since I lived by myself. My doctor concerned if I developed diabetes but I was completely normal. I got diagnosed with depression officially in my early twenties but I’m sure I already developed the depression much earlier. This narcissism definitely kills people around them and the worst is when the kid has narcissistic parent because the kid has no where to run or hide. I’ve already given up my life for my mother because I knew I couldn’t get out of her. I was her daughter, friend and husband. That was not my words, it was how other people called me. I didn’t think my mom is a narcissist because she never got any diagnosis for mental issue but it sounds so much like my mother.

[@drvren030]

She's an Indian woman, and has spoken a lot about how she grew up in a narcissistic household. As an Indian girl myself who's fighting mental health issues stemming from childhood trauma, the sad reality is a lot of toxicity and gaslighting is engrained very heavily into Desi households in the name of "keeping the family together", and "upholding the family name". The only times they actually bother to care is if it goes to the extreme, like if something literally criminal happens. And even then they sometimes just don't care. If a child seems to not have gone through anything severely traumatic or life-threatening, they don't even bother to care about their mental health and toxic treatment of their children. It's amazing to see how she came out of it stronger and made a life dedicated to giving awareness to narcissism and making people value their self worth and happiness everywhere. If things are changing, including in countries like India, it's due to heroes like this. Love you Dr Ramani ❤️

[@shipratrika2586]

I agree to most of what you said here, but this Dr. is not the real deal. I'm from India too.

[@soleil25mm]

So true! She has opened my eyes to the abuse that Indian women go through in the name of keeping the family together. Narcissistic women and men who keep the cycle going and squashing any independent feelings.

[@palaksardana6151]

In a world obsessed with self-image and ‘first me’ tendencies and big inflated egos, it is next to impossible to escape some degree of narcissism in everyone. Many times the anger is passively held and expressed and hence it becomes next to impossible to identify NPD. The most workable solution is empowerment of the self. Setting boundaries in every relationship as a sign of respect for self, ensuring a balance is maintained and you aren’t the only one putting in efforts and giving in all the time, calling out the acts (even the tiniest bits) that belittle you or make you feel uncomfortable are some actions one can initiate. Rest, there is no where to run as more or less you will be running into some scale of narcissism. Hence, best strategy is equip yourself emotionally, develop a good degree of EQ along with IQ and learn to handle yourself in challenging situations taking legal help or help of psychotherapy, wherever required.

[@Fiawordweaver]

My health has not improved. Wish I was in that health success group. My mother, the narcissist, died at 96 in 2020. I wasn’t just abused by her. I was molested by my father during my teens. I had five brothers. 4 brothers dismiss me despite finally knowing my story 3 years ago. Oldest brother was from my mother’s first marriage and died in 2016. He was the only one that behaved like a loving brother. I’m 71. I suffer from chronic fatigue for 3 years. I have the auto immune Hashimotos, diagnosed in 2005. In the last 3 years I’ve been medication resistant to managing my Hashimotos. Asthma kicked in in 2016. I only share in case there are other folks that don’t fall into health success group once the narcissist is out of their life. It’s a journey.

[@elipotter369]

Your health probably is made worse by the abuse and the disbelief from other members of the family. There are some good books out there on resolving grief etc from abuse & bodily effects. However, sometimes too, it is just a bodily effect. I hope you are able to do all you can to care for yourself x I also found a gentle mindfulness of breathing meditation helps. But for some who have been abused, a more active calming technique like tai chi would be more doable, i don't know if that's possible with your health conditions. (I do a lot of exercises and my meditation lying down). Sometimes health conditions need both physical and mental techniques to improve.

[@pavlinahrebackova3000]

I am very sorry that all this happened and is happening to you. I wish you all the best and health and courage and self love. I do not know what all have you tried for Hashi. but holistic approach saved two person in my family. Changed lifestyle by this book from Izabella Wentz.

[@bratbalal9042]

She began her mission four years ago, motivated by the lack of conversation around this issue. Today, we survivors are widely recognized with the collective efforts of many dedicated individuals in raising awareness.

[@Jess-yp9fo]

I pray this becomes a world wide issue. Narcs are pure evil tbh I’m curious to see how they’re gonna regulate this into a law if they ever do so

[@JB-dq4zu]

I feel like I am living kidnapped by my ex who is clearly pathological After 20+ years now that my children are older I want to separate properly and it's terrifying. I have so many health issues and I feel like he intentionally tries to wear me down. I am in a foreign country with my three children and the abuse, gaslighting, financial abuse, threats, threatening to cancel my Visa and keep the children in a foreign country is destroying me from the inside out. No one seems to care unless your bleeding and bruised. No one imagines the extent of damage these people do.

[@jbirdie30]

I refer to myself as a hostage.

[@pavlinahrebackova3000]

I am very sorry, this must be incredibly stressful situation. I wish you all the best!

[@susanbittner2095]

I worked for a self-centered, selfish, manipulative, arrogant , and entitled company caused this big time and didn't care! They thought they were so smart but I am smarter! I saw this for years! How totally and completely awful! Thank you so much for bringing this abusive topic to light! I appreciate you Dr. Ramani so very much!❣️

[@TheRelizabeth]

I was sick and diagnosed with many different autoimmune diseases for over 20 years. First my mother died and I went no contact with one of my siblings. I’m fine now. Healthy. I also had a therapist that kept wanting me to look at what I was doing wrong. I wish I had had this information decades ago. If you are going through this I hope you do what you need to do to protect yourself. It almost killed me. ❤️❤️❤️

[@starrynight7359]

"Swimming up streams with rocks being thrown at you". That pretty much sums it up!

[@confusedwhynot]

I know that my health issues were caused by my toxic relationship. I am dealing with the narcisst through a divorce. I am in cronic stress all the time. My children are struggling as well, but they are doing better at healing than I am. My spouse claims he wants to come back and that he loves me and our children. I have so much anxiety over everything. I am mostly stressed over our financial situation. I also need to get my family out of our house. I think seeing our childrens mental and physical health improve will be a blessing. This divorce needs to happen for all of us.

[@saturdayschild8535]

Hang in there! If you are a person of faith, lean in. You’re going to need all the strength you can muster so destress often. Sleep as best you can. Eat fresh food and avoid fast food when you can. Healing from these relationships is as much physical as it is psychological. Don’t feel guilty about giving your best to yourself. And never let that monster come back. Forgiveness is seen as permission to do worse to them. We are rooting for you!

[@merveilleux7426]

Keep going ...keep pushing you in a better place

[@rudinetaggart]

They know how to twist everything you say, so it appears we're attacking them verbally, when it's just the opposite.

[@tinaleigh3273]

This woman saved my mental health and soul! ❤

[@enjoynature5261]

I wish it were possible to remove toxics from my life

[@tammyfaries685]

SLE , tachycardia here, as soon as I recieved enlightenment from therapist and doctor. SLE in remission, tachycardia under control.

[@Irisgomesjmjfaith]

Oh wow. I just received a diagnosis of an autoimmune disease.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Stress kills and can make ur tummy bleed 🩸 🙌💯♌️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[@4freethinking]

My therapist literally aided a toxic relationship, using religious messages, combined with messages of how people normally do things, and telling me every week, "I love you", while giving me a hug. She was aiding a surgeon who had performed surgery on me, and had wormed his way into my life. The combination of her messages of what God had predestined, and how God works in mysterious ways, and so much more, has cost my entire family and myself our health, and we have nearly been medically murdered, and subjected to such extreme abuses of power and authority, and vicious betrayals of confidentiality laws, for the deliberate works to strive to commit soul murder, using character assassination to justify conduction of spiritual warfare, using religious characters to batter us for years. We have been tortured in every way. The surgeon and his son who is an attorney, filled our lives with danger. They have used demonization and criminalization works, torturing us for years.😢

[@asappestcontrol1250]

Always be aware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. You can identify them by their fruits. A bad tree cannot produce good fruit, and a good tree cannot produce bad fruit..

[@Mustbeluve]

It's not our body when you are dealing with a powerful narc.....all counclers...Dr. medical people work for a narc out of fear ...my narc gets chemicals and junk we might or might not tast...gasses to manipulate our bodies like drugs..slowly killing g us....these games from sell out chemists know what hurts the bodies ...trust me...one of my Dr's. Told me ...tests...all blood and mental test are manipulated in the narcs favor..trust me ...

[@kocsisaniko1753]

You should take these people to court for what they have done to you and your family. They should stop practicing what they are doing as it seems to be utterly detrimental.

[@MM-gk5of]

Sue your therapist, too!

[@ItaHayes]

Wear a blessed Miraculous Medal and a St Benedict medal with the special blessing (the only exorcist medal of the Catholic Church) part of the Power of that medal is ‘drink your own poison’ - Fr Don Calloway on the power of the Daily Rosary y/t online support (Fatima Rosary Crusade) Padro Pio “bring me my weapon” Spiritual ward are- turn to the experts. Worked for me. 🙏🙏🙏

[@mindyjones333]

Sadly, after just under a year with someone, as well as 4 years under a narcissistic pastor, my blood pressure is now too high, my heart rate variable is too low, my blood sugar is too high, my sleep ratings are not good, and I found a spot on my skin that needs to be biopsied. No family hx of these things and my parents and grandparents are healthy. I’m quite shocked at how my health has suddenly started to change!

[@SBurke-tb1en]

The truth is if you try or do make connections the narc. Will make your life hell. Oh wait it's hell anyway 🤷‍♀️ please if you can leave do. I left after nearly 20yrs. Leaving was hard but staying was literally costing me my life, and my children's lives. My kids and I have all been in therapy (for years now) to unravel the damage. I thought staying would be best for my kids as I could step in between him and them but I was so wrong, staying caused anxiety and depression in my children. Please if you can leave.

[@roxaneauer360]

My irregular heartbeat disappeared when I decided to leave my narcissist. Cancer twice. Toxic dad to toxic partner. Free now!!!!!!

[@stavroulapsiharis8357]

Thank God ❤bless you and pray 🙏 your doing amazing now

[@anonymouscm7270]

It's my prayer and hope that this awareness and mission by Dr. Ramani and all the blood-sweat-toll-tears against narcissism should bring in the tides of change and I really want to witness this in society at large, many thanks to the Guest, Host and everyone🙏🌷🕊💝🤗

[@leregarddeMasarang]

May we be all blessed for what we went through 🙏

[@lindakosy]

Dr Ramani saved my life... I am in awe and so grateful for her contribution in putting the spotlight on the psychology of narcissism.

[@ConsultColin-fv6rc]

They're called politicians often