Diagnosed autistic at 54 - one year later

It's exactly one year since I got my autism diagnosis. What have I learned? How have i changed? Am I glad I got diagnosed or not?
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[@ianlawton7421]

I turn 53 soon and still processing my diagnosis at age 51. Glad people like you are speaking out. Thank you

[@davidlybarger9618]

"Mentally itchy" is a perfect description.

[@lesliekarl3594]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I was self-diagnosed for a year and just had my formal diagnosis a couple of weeks ago, so it's nice to hear someone speak to a similar stage of the journey.

[@ferntheneuropoet]

Mat - just wanted to thank you for taking the time to put this together. I am still a handful of months from my one year anniversary of my diagnosis, and it helps to hear from someone else who knows what it is like to be at this point "late". I was 44 at diagnosis (such a nice number), and now I'm 45 - so a decade behind you according to the number of times I've ridden this planet around the sun - but I found myself relating to some of your points more easily than the "late" diagnosis of someone in their 20s or early 30s... though I can't really put my finger on why that is. There is just so much I've learned about myself - things I feel I should have known decades ago. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to put this together - it made me feel less alone in a way. (Not that I'm ever really alone since my grown autistic sons are almost always with me! But they have known they're autistic almost all their lives, and they've only been on the planet for 20+ years - they can't really relate to "mom's" experience - even though we do have so much in common about how we live in the world.)

[@darrylgleave8276]

thank you for sharing this, as a late diagnosed Autistic person myself ( about 16 years ago , i am now 54) i find this quite similar to my own journey in more than a few ways. Stick with it, everyday is a school day . Embrace the negatives/positives and keep learning how to manage / mitigate / enhance them ... recognition is the biggest part of all that it means to be on the spectrum. Well at least in my experience.

[@Storm_.]

First comment? Thank you, I'm a bit younger than you (40) But your story has given me the confidence to speak to my GP about testing. Your experience and things you've explained really hit home for me. My GP, predictably, was extremely reluctant to refer me. I had to explain in excruciating detail how ASD has effected my life, and still effects my life. I think the GP also explained to me in great detail: "We will refer you to a testing Clinic, but even if they say you have ASD you still won't have an official diagnosis - at that point you'd then be referred again to an NHS diagnosis system which could take years" ... I simply said: I've already waited 40 years, a few more won't matter.

[@barrielynn8959]

Audio wacky! That’s a very good parallel. I am 54, self diagnosed at 53. I can relate to all of this. My self diagnosis has also allowed me to observe the way in which my environment affects my emotional well being. I am starting to ask for accommodations from friends and I’m definitely feeling the discomfort that this causes them. I live in a busy city in central Mexico and I am unable to walk through the city and talk to my friends at the same time. There’s just too much other stuff going on around me. I can only talk to them when we have stopped walking and are at a park or maybe a restaurant where there is no distracting noise. In the past I would have forced myself to have a conversation while walking and paid the price with emotional dis regulation for the rest of the week. It’s been a difficult transition into self advocating for my needs and because I am self diagnosed, not everyone believes me. Thank you for your content. I enjoy your channel.

[@gnus2164]

I also got diagnosed later in life at 49. My very intelligent daughter concluded after an information video about autism that she thought she was autistic, she was 8 years old then. I told her that that's not autism you're just like me, a bit different. After looking into it for a bit and going forward with my daughters assessment and it resulting in a diagnosis of autism. I was reluctant to apply for an assessment but went ahead a year after my daughters diagnosis. I agree with you that it sometimes feels weird to actually not white knuckle myself through my everyday life and instead making and getting adjustments. Noise canceling headphones may be obvious but they improve my quality of life immensely. The biggest thing post diagnosis for me was realizing that most of my personal whims aren't strange and unique to me and that I wasn't being difficult. Thanks for great content and great podcast.

[@Ed_Robson_1970]

Brilliant once again Mat, we're a similar age, and diagnosed with autism at a similar time, and the way you talk about it covers it pretty much perfectly. Thank you, and keep up the excellent films!

[@BayLeafff]

Really insightful Mat, all the best! Keep learning!

[@gwenhwyfarsdottir]

I relate to the "I feel I'm acting more autistic" aspect so much. Having been a high-masking individual all my life, it was a difficult thing to come to terms with. I am autistic, therefore I act autistic. I just hid it behind layers of learned social norms and didn't allow myself to act like that before. Diagnosed less than a year ago at age 37, it feels like I've been tossed into a new dimension where I need to unlearn a lot of sides about myself that used to make up the "me" I was showing to the world.

[@adder1111]

Thanks for this, as one who is nearly the same age and just starting down the discovery path, it's encouraging to know there are others in the same frame of reference.

[@ewap789]

Hey Mat, thanks for sharing. I like the way you talk, and about your version of autism. I'm waiting to be assessed (at the ripe old age of 46), but started looking into autism about a year ago. I relate to the story you tell at the beginning of your video, of being able to name overstimulation and to do something about it. Soon after I realised I was probably autistic, I found myself out having a brunch with a few folks. Whilst in the past I would have observed the conversation unable to contribute but without understanding what was going on (and feeling utterly crap about myself), well for the first time, I was able to observe the situation with amusement : conversation shooting from one side of the table to the other, North South East and West, and I'm listenning in and observing the dynamics, just occasionally firing in a witty observation. Just being so autistic. Realising this makes a HUGE difference to my experience from now on, and I'm freed up from past shame and probably a bit less awkward to others as a result. Just a tat! Nothing changes, but the internal experience of autism is just so different, and therefore it can be handled slightly differently.

[@WHISTLEPEG]

Thank you for sharing. I discovered your channel a few months ago and I really enjoy your content. I am a 70yr old self diagnosed autistic woman and it is lovely to listen and learn from the experiences of another late diagnosed autistic. I can relate to so much of what you experience. I very much enjoy your relaxed presentation style. Too many people these days talk too fast!

[@MatRicardo]

haha thanks so much. It's funny, when i was a teenager I used to talk wayyyy to fast, but after a lifetime of speaking on stage, I think I learned about pace and rhythm...

[@AlphaGeekgirl]

Yup... I tick all those boxes. And like you was diagnosed in my mid 50's. I am now way more comfortable in my own skin (once I figured out all the tricks).

[@kajagougou646]

Thanks for sharing Mat. Ive been diagnosed 1 year ago as well and im 50. I can relate to the noise reducing kit and the comfortable clothes. I use Monoï candles as well to relax at home. I always have stimming toys in my purse in case I get anxious outside. It is a journey of discovery and I bet it is only the beginning ! :)

[@Lozzed1]

I've no idea if I'm autistic, but I can relate to all of this. Well done for being so open, articulate, and getting diagnosed. Good luck on the journey.

[@jayfsith]

Thanks for your honesty, your explanations increase my understanding of myself and help explain to others how I am. I particularly liked your description of mental itchiness. Much appreciated 🖖🏼

[@Paisley...]

Thank you!❤

[@RoRo-ku7es]

Thank you...this was all good to hear 🖤

[@ML-fn6xd]

Oh! I'm in the same stage of post- diagnosis/discovery and more or less some age. You just described my experience so accurately! I was thinking Same, same, same! while watching your video. I like your way of communicating very much and your beautiful and perfect videos.I'm from the south of southamerica, and even coming from a different culture and environment i see myself reflected on many things you share here. Also, the X-men reference, the saga is such a methaphore of neurodivergent experience!!! Thank you very, extremely much!

[@ian_occultist]

Great video. I've gone through my first year too at a similar age and everything you describe is mirrored in my experience. Keep talking x

[@bnrynlds]

Lovely words, as ever, Mat. Thanks!

[@seaofsolace]

Good luck on your journey of being late diagnosed. I am 46F and was diagnosed 2.5 years ago. I related to what your video very much. 💙

[@turquoismama33]

For me the first year of dx was like a honeymoon, things were great, fitting into place, self regulation working so well....now I'm in the "oh S**T" stage, where I am now seeing how my brain screws things up...mostly with those that live under the same roof...all the analogies work for me.....superpower, spicy, health bar, spoons, unique, special, different, ticking time bomb, calm in the midst of the storm, tunnel vision, panoramic view, detail ordinated, can't see the trees for the forest (or is that vice versa or both?).....it's a wild ride for sure....with all the turns, twists, up & down hills, slow parts, fast parts, dark parts and blinding light parts....fun AND annoying at the same time......one day at a time...

[@rozarah]

When in doubt, have a nap. Get cozy in a quiet place. You may not sleep but you'll likely be in a better state at the end.

[@MatRicardo]

I HAVE SO GOT INTO NAPS

[@Randomthingsfromanautisticguy]

Another insightful video, that resonates with me. I was diagnosed in June 2023.

[@christianemichelberger8245]

Thank you for your very honest talk on being autistic after knowing it for 1 year. Yes, it's not all great, though personally, I can't imagine being different. Not sure whether I would like it and where would my wonderful creativity be? For me, protecting the senses from too much input is equally important and I always carry earplugs with me. I'm only slowly realizing that I simply can't ask as much from myself as I would like to because everything costs more energy than for neurotypicals. I find this hard to adjust to. But if I lower the expectations, I'm less exhausted... I guess, I better adjust to it.

[@saratonnan]

Well said! Also late diagnosed, I'm pleased to find this very well done video explaining the issues, or at least some of them. Thanks for this! ❤❤❤

[@bjcary6872]

This is brilliant! I'm 44 and only a year or two into my own diagnosis. Still figuring a lot of stuff out, and I definitely do NOT feel the "superpower" of autism. At least not yet. And I'm all about the loose, comfy clothes now too 🙂

[@TheBergmaster]

I've just been diagnosed aged 52. The biggest change for me is the option to now be able to explain to people in certain situations that I have autism, making myself feel more at ease and perhaps them as well.

[@MatRicardo]

yes exactly!

[@thankyouforbeingafriend1704]

Thank you so much for your video! I was very recently diagnosed at the age 37 and your insights and tips are very helpful and I can relate with everything you mentioned!

[@lauraivers]

Thanks for sharing this update on your autism journey Mat. I've been a fan since meeting you in Tralee a few years ago. I got an ADHD diagnosis at 35 last September and have really resonated with your journey - the impact it's had on my personal and professional life has been immeasurable. Thanks for sharing your techniques and insights. ❤

[@MatRicardo]

awww thanks. TRALEE! Fun times :)

[@lostlandmarks8305]

Thank you for sharing! It's so valuable.

[@RodrigoRotacion]

hey mat, thank you for being so open about your diagnosis and giving us an insight on how you process all those impressions. I really like watching your videos on this topic (and the other ones as well ;)). Wishing you all the best.

[@urgo8750]

I appreciate you

[@bradraughley6206]

Also late diagnosed here, I've got pink colored glasses to reduce glare and they've been amazing. Realization has been big one for me too and allowed me to detach in high stimulus moments. Finding things that are enjoyable (good fidgets like an unobtrusive slider or spinning ring are good for me) or destress are important (for me very cold water either running over my hands, face, baths, or cold showers). Looser clothing for me too, and being very specific about fabrics. My psychiatrist prescribed me exercise as medicine, which sounds hokey, but has definitely worked and I've been able to categorize walking and swimming as stimming for me with the repetitive motion, which has helped my weight and regulation. One of the biggest helps has been to mentally reframe things. If I'm able to move it to a different mental category, I can change how I feel about it (ie exercise, healthy eating, and some others).

[@MatRicardo]

That's great. It took me a while to realise that the martial arts that I do every day were a form of stimming..

[@lemonladyYT]

I'm a 55 year old female, diagnosed 2 years ago and I'm still learning to navigate myself. Keep talking, keep sharing Mat, we need a two way understanding. Neurodivergency is only a disability because we are in a minority and the world has been built to suit the majority. Wouldn't it be weird if it became apparent we are actually the majority? 🥴

[@robertgallagher2226]

My wife has heard me using the phrase "gifts of autism" lately...I wasn't even aware. I like it better than "superpower"

[@wreckgar23]

Loop earplugs made a doctor's waiting room tolerable for me. I could do with some shades for indoor lighting, so that's a good tip.

[@MatRicardo]

I got some loops but they didn't quite lessen the outside world enough for me

[@lindaT82]

Thanks for your video, this resonates with me (19 mths post diagnosis) ✨

[@jbdjbd8922]

Unbeknownst to you, last year you became my role model. I watched your video last year and it convinced me that if you can be diagnosed at 54, then very likely I would be diagnosed at 61. And, I was about 3 months ago. In regards to-what has worked for me; honouring my routines. I now see the value in them and surely feel it if I cant do them. What hasnt worked for me is unmasking. Try as I might, fighting against my natural inclinations, still feels right. I feel uncomfortable when I simply accept my inclinations because they feel mal-adaptive to me. Especially my discomfort with socializing, I fight this all the time trying to force myself into social situations that I dont want to be in.

[@MatRicardo]

oh wow thanks so much. And yeah, its a tricky onward journey - and I certainly agree about having routines. Also, yeah, socializing is *hard*. Hope you're doing ok, and thanks again!

[@KayDub6970]

Cheers Mat - Thank you very much. I really enjoy these videos. You and I were diagnosed about the same time and we are of a similar vintage so I find it all very relatable. I too have spent the past year navigating the ocean of information and trying to define which parts of the Autism wheel apply to me vs anyone else. It's quite an interesting journey.

[@Lua-l1j]

thanks you for the vidéo

[@ksln]

Oh and yea, totally fuck christmas.

[@unclepecos91]

Hi Mat, thanks for sharing! Congrats on your journey, looks like great improvement for just 1 year after a late diagnosis. A tip for noise canceling headphones: mine were like 60€ at full price and got them 40% off on last black friday. I've found they do the trick just fine, so maybe we can avoid the super pricy ones.

[@tamara3984]

I hear you on so many levels. It is a never ending journey and it is very lonely. Neurodiverse people are all diverse... so even those who are similar are different. In my case it is not only neurodiversity. I have friends who have chronic illnesses that cause similar symptoms to mine, but it's not the same. Many people think they have good suggestions. My life destroying neurological illness cannot be treated with tumeric... I wish people wld stop telling me I shld do this and that. I know people try to be kind, but it is exhausting and quite insulting. If a little thing could fix my health I wld have done it a long time ago. No one suffers untreatable excruciating pain for 20 yrs if a spoonful of tumeric every day would fix it. Why is that so hard for people to understand.

[@ksln]

1-2 sizes too large Chino khaki pants, same for shirts, but I do enjoy a somewhat decent fit on my hoodies. Also, a beanie. This combined with NC ear buds, makes the experience of going to a mall from painful to just a trip to the mall.

[@MatRicardo]

yes! baggy trousers, but a nice fitting hoodie. me too!

[@ginadooley]

Thank you so much. This is extremely helpful

[@GordonHudson]

I was diagnosed at 42. I also perform a bit, but it's the travel rather than being on stage that causes me problems. I need someone to invent the teleporter. I do all the research beforehand but it's all the transport hassle.

[@MatRicardo]

agree!

[@bbarol]

Nicely done, my friend.

[@MatRicardo]

Thanks boss!

[@Maarten8867]

It's not a super power, but it's no disability either. It's just being different. You really have to play into your strengths to make it work. If you constantly play into your weaknesses, it'll seem like a disability.

[@MatRicardo]

I get what you're saying, but it *is* a disability - autistic people are disabled by the world being wholly created and designed for people whose brains work differently, so interacting with that world is painful and difficult.

[@TheCyberadam26]

Great video Mat. Thank you so much for your candour in discussing you living with autism. If I can ask, has your diagnosis affected or changed the way you do your performances and interactions with the audience? Many thanks.

[@MatRicardo]

Good question - no, I don't think it's changed how i am in front of a crowd, but it has changed how I approach the nuts and bolts of getting to that venue in the first place lol

[@richardtaylor8363]

Thanks for your video Mat, ive been very sensitive to sound for many years, resulting in a ten minute rule for supermarkets and in noisy places getting very wound up and grumpy, sensory overload it is. Where you can't hear the person talking to you because of all the other noises. Ive thought I was dyslexic, and going to get tested, but there is all the other stuff too! my sister says im definitely neuro diververgent. I dont really know but I want to know whats going on, like you...

[@iaina3251]

Good, interesting video. (like they all are) Would you one day explain what drove you to get a diagnosis and how easy it was to get? Presumably you went private due to the years' long NHS waiting list? I'm in a similar positive/age to you but for ADHD and finding the NHS very dismissive because of my age so I'd be interested to hear about how your age affected your diagnostic process (if at all).

[@MatRicardo]

i did indeed go private - the old socialist in me hates that I did, but if I'd waited for the NHS then I'd still be waiting, which absolutely sucks. As I mention in the video, there was a character in a show who was autistic, and reminded me of me, and that started me thinking about it, talking to my wife about it, researching it, and kinda investigating if my suspicions about myself might be worth pursuing.. As for my age affecting it - I'm not sure that it did, even though more people get diagnosed as kids, there are more and more people looking into it as adults.

[@matthewbucktrout3291]

Hi Mat, thank you for making this video. I'm currently on a waiting list for autism assessment. I jsut had a quick question - when you had yours, were you required to take along one or both of your parents? I'm 47 and was shocked when I was told that it was imperative that I take along at least one of my parents (who are in their 70s) so that the assessors could ask them questions about my childhood. I'm wondering if that's a normal thing or whether they're just trying to put up hurdles to make it more difficult to get an assessment because they're already overrun with people on the waiting list. have a nice day, Matthew

[@MatRicardo]

wow, no, I wasn't asked that. I mean, it would have been hard because they're no longer around...

[@TheGuinnessgirl]

Can I ask what your noise cancelling headphones called or link or somwhere to look into please or any recommendations. Back to video

[@MatRicardo]

i got a pair of sony 1000XM5, and am very happy with them. they aint cheap though