13 Things Americans Consider BAD Manners that SHOCK Europeans

[@DianeJennings]

I feel like there are definitely more rules of social etiquette in America that weren’t outlined here. Please let me know them below

[@bruceadams6451]

I added a tipping payback comment somewhere else. I think Editor Diane will appreciate it.

[@therandomstranger3951]

I think you've been doing American themed videos long enough that it would be more surprising if one of these was new to you. You're practically 10% American by now. Possibly more.

[@livingitupish]

If you ever watch customers at Walmart(in America) you see all these people wearing inappropriate or ridiculous outfits or acting weird. So any type of expression is mostly except able so long as it doesn't get a lot of attention

[@sparky6086]

Up until the '80's, things were pretty formal at work in America, as far as not addressing people by their first names. It was always Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr, or Coach for bosses and employees and sometimes just the last name of the employee, the exception being small or family businesses, where people were sometimes address in a casual manner. As far as how people dress in public in America it varies with the decades, although the general trend has been toward more casual.

[@peterjamesfoote3964]

There are a few things it’s probably not a good idea to bring up in casual conversation right now: 1) Politics 2) January 6, 2021 3) Pandemic hygiene 4) Q conspiracies vs truths 5) How silly someone looks, even if they do 6) Guns 7) “Critical Race Theory” Not that you would bring up any of these without an invitation! I don’t think that 7 years ago I would have thought at all about this.

[@SaltedMeats]

It's always ok in the US to ask, when you get a gift, "should I open this now?" I say that because opening it right away is not always the etiquette... At least not everywhere

[@DianeJennings]

Interesting

[@half-dead877]

Agreed

[@jameskearney4100]

That is true with me also.

[@alphabasic1759]

That’s what I say too

[@geodkyt]

Exactly - sometimes the gift is for *right now* , so we can share your joy and surprise. Other times, it's for later (although it's generally acceptable to open it straightaway, unless it's for something obvious like handing you a Christmas gift early, but expecting to see you between now and December 25th).

[@hanng1242]

One thing that wasn't mentioned is holding the door. If somebody is a few steps behind you walking towards the same doorway, it is polite to hold the door open behind you for that person. One need not hold it completely open or allow the other to enter first, but one should hold it ajar behind oneself. On the flip side, if somebody is holding the door for you, it is polite to put a little hustle in your step to get to the door a bit quicker. The idea behind all this is that holding the door for someone acknowledges his existence, and moving to a held door quickly acknowledges the other's time.

[@staceyb5567]

YES! A quick "thanks" is always good, especially if it's a child. My son, from the moment he could keep the door open himself, was especially conscientious about holding the door for everyone (still is at 20). I glared daggers at people who ignored him.

[@cahinton.]

@@staceyb5567 That would have irked me, too. If I'm going to hold the door for someone, they had _better_ at the very least acknowledge me.

[@justinchu7641]

Is that not universal? In Europe do they just slam the door on people behind them?

[@MrSheckstr]

So everyone has heard of the five second rule, for holding doors there is the five step rule, if someone is more than 5 steps behind you , you usually don’t have to worry about stopping to hold the door for them, but add steps if they are burdened or physically limited. If they are further away they may fee compelled to quicken their stride and for some people they would rather open the door themselves than feel obligated to speed up. So if you do hold the door for someone, do it casually … like Chewbacca flying causal by the Moon of Endor

[@NaNa-ou1sg]

It's not even universal in the U.S unfortunately.

[@azknightwolf2552]

Mila Kunis once told a story about how she took her mother to get a pedicure. The women who did the pedicures for them were talking among themselves in Russian, and were insulting both of them. When Mila did not tip them, she told them, in perfect Russian, how rude they were and they didn't deserve a tip. Apparently the pedicurists didn't know she speaks fluent Russian!!

[@DianeJennings]

I like her!

[@TR4200]

Mila Kunis is Ukrainian.

[@peterjamesfoote3964]

I didn’t mention that in my tip comment. I understand more Spanish than I look like I do especially certain words that I won’t type here.

[@LindaC616]

@@peterjamesfoote3964 but don't you find, Peter, that many Soanish-speakers don't engage in that as often as orhers?

[@TheArthoron]

I think there are more rules and etiquette on the East Coast than anywhere else in the US. And the younger the person, the fewer etiquette rules are acknowledged, let alone followed.

[@rmdodsonbills]

In America, "How are you" isn't really a serious question, it's just another part of greeting. Sometimes it even goes so far as to respond to "how are you" with "how are you" again. Strangers generally aren't interested in how you really are, so "fine" is a perfectly good response.

[@pissupehelwan]

That is correct. It is also okay to respond to "How are you?" with "Hi" as if they said "Hi" instead of "How are you?". I do that often.

[@justtasting]

@R. L. Dodson, An old quote that makes your point: "Don't tell your friends about your indigestion. 'How are you' is a greeting, not a question." Arthur Guiterman

[@joshuacontreras]

☝🏽this! i have such a hard time with this since I love over sharing but then I thought to myself how uncomfortable it might be for this person to hear about my day, especially if they’re working at the cash register

[@docstockandbarrel]

I like to say, “Do you mean that?”

[@christophertaylor9100]

Usually, I'd say almost always when someone asks how you are, they don't really give a crap they just are trying to start up a conversation and don't know what else to say

[@thesisypheanjournal1271]

When I was teaching English in Korea, I taught my students "Yes, please" and "No, thank you" when offered something. They wanted to know why they said "Thank you" for something they're not being given. I explained that you are thanking the person for offering, which softens the rejection of the proffered thing.

[@NarwahlGaming]

I always thought about doing that ESL but, wasn't sure about the requirements because I can never get a consistent answer. Probably not a good idear, anyways. Don't want a bunch uh Koreans walkin' 'round talkin' like a Yooper, dere.

[@thesisypheanjournal1271]

@@NarwahlGaming Requirements: Be from the US, UK, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, or South Africa. Be a native English speaker. Have a bachelor's degree in literally anything from an accredited university. Be able to pass the background checks. PRESTO! Post your resume at Dave's ESL Café and wait for the recruiters to start chasing you down. It's a seller's market.

[@genisay]

Right. It's a good way to let the other person know that you are not interested, say, you are already full, or you don't like coffee, but that you still appriciate that they thought to ask.

[@JOHN----DOE]

i.e. short for "No, but thanks for offering."

[@agent_k9508]

This is gold!! Thank you for teaching them and also for sharing!

[@richletram539]

My brother in law was on a business trip in England. He went with a few co-workers to a small, but crowded, local pub outside of London. When he attempted to tip the bartender all the noise in the establishment came to a stop. He said you could hear a pin drop, kind of like you might see in a movie or a tv show. He asked the bartender if he had done something wrong. The bartender said, "We don't do that here." So he asked how do you tip the bartender. He said, "You can buy me a drink." So he did. By the end of the night, the bartender was the most intoxicated person in the pub. 😂 In most of the USA, it is illegal for the bartender to drink while working.

[@barjamlin7962]

The “and one for yourself” way of tipping in pubs (other than Witherspoon’s) is common, but don’t be offended if the bartender simply sets aside the drink cost for themselves rather than actually drinking. Most bartenders prefer to keep a sober eye on the pub.

[@TatteredSanity1]

I've lived in several states and worked in a lot of bars... I have found zero places where it's illegal for bartenders to drink while working... It may be banned by the bar owner but I've never seen it illegal

[@elisemiller13]

I was spoken to with harsh impatience after leaving a tip for a waitress in Holland & there were many other cultural no-no's, that I appreciate videos like this for! Before going to another country I would watch them. Unfortunately, that was over 30 years ago, so....

[@rhuxley5130]

It's not illegal 🤦🏻‍♂️🤣but I know what u mean

[@dominiquemcdowell88]

It is illegal in NC, you could lose your right to serve alcohol.

[@thediktatortot9645]

As far as the gifting goes, we like to see the reaction of the people opening the gift. The best part for us is to see the joy or general reaction to whatever we got you.

[@joeysausage3437]

I agree with everything you say but I find it embarrassing and rude.

[@mikeg3439]

I forget how we have a personal bubble here until I travel abroad, and then I'm like what the HELL with people coming up to stand right next to me. I of course get over it right away and I embrace whatever culture I encounter, but it does take getting used to. We give each other at least three feet MINIMUM MINIMUM.

[@ryanjacobson2508]

Getting really close is for two things: intimacy and fights. Otherwise keep your distance.

[@amydewhurst5572]

Haha! This is super noticeable at Disney too! I have had foreigners so close to me in line that I could feel their breath in my hair. They had no idea about the bubble. My husband who is European just acted as a barrier behind me in the lines.

[@jcchrome3381]

Yes, I remember shopping in Spain as a student and was looking at bras in an open air-market. The saleswoman came to offer assistance and in the course of it, without asking permission or saying anything in explanation, she just reached out and felt my breasts, apparently sizing them up--but whoa! I felt groped in publuc by a stranger! I was in shock, and am still stunned by that experience when I remember it. I did figure it was a cultural difference, especially after I mentioned it to a fellow student in my study program who was from Germany, and she didn't think there was anything odd about it at all. It made me realize again how in many ways Americans do still show "puritan" attitudes towards the body that aren't apparent in other parts of the world.

[@dudanunesbleff]

@@ryanjacobson2508 In the US? Not in other places.

[@natehill8069]

All humans have a personal bubble. Its just in America the size is larger than most. I had a Syrian gentleman I worked with. They have much smaller bubbles. In a conversation he would subconsciously try to close in with an American to the distance he felt normal and they would subconsciously try to back away to THEIR normal. I called this the "choo-choo" because they would wind up shuffling around the room as they talked.

[@MonumentToSin]

I've actually heard that Americans use "please" and "thank you" far more than other countries. Even if we don't always mean it, we are taught to always say "please" and "thank you" after every little exchange - we often use it multiple times in one interaction. Imagine some is handing you several items in a row - you have to say "thanks" after each item. Some people have even found it annoying haha.

[@joshjones6072]

We definitely do that, "Yes please." And even so far as "No thank you but thanks anyway." Very common.

[@lwhieldon1]

This is so true. Americans love a cheerful hello, how are you? Thank you, and have a good day!

[@GayTempest]

When I was in college I took a class in Mandarin and we learned a bit about Chinese culture. Since Americans say "thank you" so much, of course we wanted to know how to be polite, which in Mandarin is "Xiexie," (thanks) or the more formal, direct translation "Xiexie ni" (thank you). Our teacher's response was always "Bu kechi" (Don't be so polite!) 😂

[@marshawargo7238]

Also Bless You after a sneeze!🤧 I've known people who Always sneeze a Large number of times. Like my granddaughters mom. I tend to wait & say are you done? Then say it. I'm talking like 30 times in succession!

[@charisma225]

And when a Northerner becomes a Southern refugee it becomes "Thank-You Ma'am, or Yes Please Ma'am, or No Thank-You Sir".

[@JonPaulMaki]

One thing about most of these sort of rules of social etiquette is that if you violate them - particularly if you're not from the US - no one is going to really freak out about it. I mean, it depends on what rule or how severe the violation, but in general, the worst-case scenario is that people will think you're a bit odd and just shrug it off.

[@MarkMcLT]

Tipping is an exception. The first time, out of ignorance, I went to get out of a cab without tipping I got a very angry response from the driver!

[@jenniferpearce1052]

@@MarkMcLT I think that's cabbies. I had one get mad that I was paying him with a credit card instead of cash, because he didn't want to pay taxes on it. I told him I pay taxes on my income and so should he.

[@edlibey8177]

True, especially when it is obvious that the person is from somewhere else.

[@cherylmarie5477]

Yeah right lol this might work if the person is white

[@dabeage]

Are you kidding? Ken and Karen videos are no joke, happens EVERYWHERE.

[@MayimHastings]

I think the number one thing to remember when visiting America is that we’re pretty used to having foreigners around, and so we really don’t care that much about differences in etiquette. Be yourself. If you are unsure about something, it’s always cool to ask! In fact, asking for help, or if you’re confused, is a great way to step into that small talk we love so much. Great video! Love from Atlanta

[@awesomemccoolname7111]

In some places we are. I used to live near Boston and we always have tourists but here in RI, heh, not so much. 😅

[@miriamcohen7657]

Wonderfully expressed

[@kristaferailslieger4906]

That’s not true for most of the U.S. Outside of the really touristy areas and major metropolitan areas, we almost never see foreigners, especially from overseas (as opposed to Mexico or Canada). Take a drive across the center of the country and see how many foreigners you encounter-the number will probably be zero.

[@MayimHastings]

@@kristaferailslieger4906 🤦🏻‍♀️ Dude. I’ve lived in the rural south my whole life, and with the exception of some “no man’s land” areas with just a few families making up a town, foreigners pop up everywhere. To say you can drive across the country and see “zero” 🤣

[@kristaferailslieger4906]

@@MayimHastings I’ve driven across the country many times, and seeing foreigners is definitely the exception. I work with a high school exchange program in the Midwest and it is the norm for foreign exchange students to experience being the first person from their country that anyone local has ever met. Sure, there ARE foreigners around, but they are very uncommon and people are not “used to seeing them.” They are generally quite a curiosity. Come visit Kansas or Nebraska some time (for example). Unless you go hunt for them, you are very unlikely to encounter foreigners.

[@RichardDCook]

About the famous USA "small talk" 5:49 I work at Disneyland and chat with people from all over the world every day, and there are clear differences from culture to culture. Americans and Australians are the closest, both being open to chat, with nearly any topic being suitable. Canadians, Scots, and Irish are a notch more reserved. Japanese, when confident of their English skills, are also open to chat. Some of the chattiest people I've met have been Japanese who are interested in American culture, oftentimes working towards advanced college degrees in English, who enjoy having the chance to converse with native English speakers. Then there are the people from England, New Zealand, and Europe who are gracious and polite but quickly shut down attempts to chat.

[@susanfeil7729]

I had that experience in Tokyo. The people on the street were very friendly and had all kinds of questions.

[@fdoy]

Big difference as the people in the north are really cold compare to the southerners. Here in Florida we say hi to anyone we meet but not so in the Boston area. They have no patience and seemed rushed in everything they do.

[@RichardDCook]

@@fdoy For sure in my native West Virginia people are more friendly to strangers than here in my adopted home of Southern California. I think the main factor is city versus rural, because here in California people in Los Angeles Metro area don't want to get involved with strangers (who in a big city are often perceived as potential threats) but in rural and small-town California people are open and chatty.

[@jessicah.1828]

@@RichardDCook rural Northern CA (where I am from) is extremely friendly. More so than where I live now in the south. But, northern and southern California are like two different states I've heard.

[@adirtyswarlos]

In the US (probably in a lot of other countries too) the regions have different etiquette. Being from the south I caught myself often labeling northers or even people from California as rude. I remember stopping by a friends house to drop off something she needed and not being invited to sit and offered something to drink. I couldn’t help but be a little offended by her lack of southern hospitality. Then I remembered she wasn’t born here but from California where I remembered the attitude is a lot less formal. She wasn’t mean to me but she didn’t do what I expected. It’s a good reminder to be aware of cultural differences and not jump to offense.

[@candaceb7660]

Totally agree. I'm from California but moved to the south & found it weird how chatty people were here & waving to strangers while driving.

[@camillemayers103]

In California "dropping by" is considered to be rude.

[@lizkelley4334]

I'm born and raised in California and always invite and ask if a guest would like a beverage. I think it really depends on the individual and not the region they were raised.

[@verycherry4459]

I'm from the North and sometimes we don't feel our house is presentable at the moment or we are in the middle of something like a situation or project or about to leave for an appointment and if we only had a few minutes, we didn't want to invite you in just long enough to get you comfortable to ask you to leave because we need to be somewhere like an appointment or prior commitment but we had just enough time to see you for a couple minutes. Sometimes we don't have things on hand to offer and we feel bad about inviting someone in and not being able to offer them something to drink or a snack because that would be rude not to offer or we aren't feeling up to entertaining and would like to be better company so you had more fun the next time we see you. Dropping by unannounced is considered rude here unless you actually know the person is open to that or you see them in their yard and you happen to be out walking and greet each other. People will literally not answer the door if people drop by if they are in their pajamas or busy or not feeling well or just don't feel like company unless they feel obligated. Some people do things they feel obligated to do and stretch themselves too thin. Maybe it was their only time alone with their significant other without their children and they wouldn't appreciate the interruption unannounced. It is always better to phone or text ahead to find out when a good time is. If a person says you never need to phone ahead, then you know.

[@verycherry4459]

@@camillemayers103 the same goes for Michigan for the most part.

[@Micah-6.8]

A couple of things that weren't mentioned in the video: 1) In addition to wanting personal space, it is considered extremely rude - possibly even threatening if you bump into someone and do not immediately apologize. This happens a lot in crowds or busy places and by accident but many Americans are still offended by this, especially men. Respect the bubble. 2) For many mothers and mothers to be, touching their belly or their baby is not polite, except for family or close friends. Again, the bubble. 3) Hitchhiking is illegal in America and extremely dangerous for both the driver and the hitchhiker. Please don't even attempt it.

[@tessat338]

Ugh! Years ago when I was pregnant, we were in a crowd in line to get into a football game. I was wearing a coat and people in the crowd could not see right away that I was pregnant. Since people were bunching much more closely than normal, I kept getting elbowed in the belly or knocked with people's bags or backpacks. It was uncomfortable and I was having to protect my abdomen with my arms, my bag and my husband.

[@FW-jq1ox]

Hitchhiking isn't illegal across the country. This is another weird thing - every state makes their own laws. I do agree that it would be extremely risky though - I didn't think anyone did this anymore anyway. Crazy!

[@Mr.Nichan]

​@@FW-jq1ox I'm not sure if it's actually risky or not. There's some organization who's website I found once trying to promote that hitchhiking is still safe and some Americans might benefit from doing it. I read their statistics about how rare violence against and by hitchhikers actually is*, but it's always hard to interpret these things because everything is relative. It's probably more dangerous than driving with people you know, but obviously most hitchhikers are perfectly fine (just like most people who walk in "dangerous neighborhoods", and, in fact, most people who join the military, it should be noted). In any case, it's still pretty normal to hitchhike in many other countries, and people used to hitchhike in the USA before there was a huge concerted effort to make everyone scared of it around the 1970s, which some people (the people in that organization I mentioned) think was some kind of anti-hippie thing, and of it was easy for most people to avoid by then because so many people in the USA had cars by that point. (Obviously, hitchhiking is more popular where fewer people have cars.) As for it being illegal, it's very easy to search up a state-by-state analysis. I live in Texas, which is apparently one of the states where it is easiest to hitchhike (though I've never known or even seen anyone who did, barring some borderline examples, like one thing I did once, and also Uber) because, it is completely legal and also legal to do the things required like standing on the side of the highway, and roads are usually build with enough space on either side to make it easy. I do remember seeing road signs saying not to pick up hitchhikers near a prison once, but I don't remember if it was actually illegal even there, I've also seen road-signs banning "soliciting" on the side of the road in certain places, and then there are lots of businesses and I think some municipalities or other local governments that ban "loitering", though hitchhikers are not the main people theses laws are trying to stop. *I know this is maybe dark, but I particularly liked their lowest statistic, which was that zero drivers had been raped by their hitchhikers in their sample, because I was imagining what a stupid thing to attempt that would be, though actually there are ways when I think about it more deeply. In general, hitchhiker's are in more danger than they themselves pose to their drivers, if I remember correctly, and I think the obvious power dynamic is probably the reason.

[@Mr.Nichan]

@@FW-jq1ox What exactly is it that people think makes Uber better than hitchhiking, by the way? The fact that the drivers are paid and get reviews, even if their not PRE-vetted?

[@andidreyes5323]

The seasonings thing: my family always said this "You can always add more but never make it with less." So, we did it halfway. Because we understand that new folks might prefer more salt, pepper, etc because that's what they were raised with. But I have been offended when someone wanted ketchup in spaghetti sauce...I still feel offended. It feels wrong, just wrong.

[@kathleenlindquist4799]

I made a spaghetti sauce that was a couple of hours worth of cooking. My roommate heated up the leftovers the next night and added tomato soup to it. When she told me, she also said she thought it tasted better that way. Her boyfriend, who ate it both ways, looked at me and shook his head no.

[@collinea8300]

Same. Being from France, it's definitely ok to add salt and pepper to the meal at the restaurant (you don't even have to ask for it, they're generally already on the table). But adding ketchup or any other sauce is basically changing the meal, hence why it's offensive to the chef. I don't understand why the original video conflated the two...

[@gregpetridis3762]

Usually if service is bad, I might still tip, but if I do, I'll give a much smaller tip than normal. I also give a little more if service was especially good. I DO NOT let the food quality decide how much of a tip they will get. The waiters do not cook. If the food is bad, I just won't go back.

[@Bac_Drowned]

I feel like if you want to learn more about American etiquette you should see stuff that differs from region to region, like Southern etiquette vs east coast etiquette

[@jamesredman1263]

Yes. For example, in the Bronx, co-workers and friends are likely to say things more bluntly and roughly, in ways that many Southerners are likely to take personally and feel great resentment over. And the former may express irritation that in their opinion Southerners are dishonest by not saying things as directly. If both are aware and accepting of the other's way of expressing themselves, they can hear each other and be friends. If they react according to their own culture, resentments are inevitable. IMHO, traditional Southern culture is more influenced by English and the NY way has more influence from Dutch and Deutsche.

[@Annie_Annie__]

Exactly. I’m from Texas where we tend to be a mix of southern, Midwest, and southwest cultures. It took traveling for me to realize how two-faced my culture is. Or at least how it might appear to others. Southern culture is often very big on keeping up appearances, so even if you *hate* someone with a burning passion, you’ll usually be nice to their face. Especially in a group setting. Then when they’re not around, talk about your issues with them because the tension can build up and you just need to vent it (and because some people like to gossip). But you can’t *ever* be rude to someone’s face, so it can lead to Person A knowing that Person B doesn’t like them because they were talking behind their back, but never knowing why because B would never be so rude as to be direct about it. It’s exhausting. Southern ladies will complain about how rude New Yorkers or New Englanders are, then will turn around and talk crap about everyone that’s not in the room. 🙄

[@TheFlufferx]

It took me several years to get used to living in New England (Boston) after growing up in North Carolina. People up here are blunt and seem colder but they're truthful. A lot of that Southern courtesy is cover up for being nasty behind your back. Northerners think I'm strange for talking to or waving at people I don't know LOL

[@Annie_Annie__]

@@TheFlufferx Yup. In my neighborhood if you’re driving around, it’s considered rude as heck not to wave at the folks out walking their dogs or working in their gardens. But there’s been many times that I’ll be talking to a neighbor in my front yard and some lady will drive by and we all smile and wave pleasantly. Then the moment the car passes, the neighbor will say, “do you know that lady? Her name’s Marie. She lives 4 houses down. Watch her because she’s crazier than an outhouse rat, I tell ya!” And I’ll get 15 years worth of old lady gossip about how crazy and rude or mean Marie is. A week later I drive by and that neighbor is talking to Marie as I drive by and wave and I’m sure she’s telling Marie all about me and my family and how awful we are for not going to church and who knows what else. And it’s not just that some people are gossipy and two-faced. Almost everyone does this. Sweet as pie to your face, vicious behind your back.

[@PoseurGoth]

@@Annie_Annie__ That is also an urban vs. rural thing. I live in a small town and it is considered polite to give at least a smile and small nod,at the bare minimum, when walking past someone. I did that in the city and got weird looks and found out later that it is considered street harassment.

[@cheyyaekel9696]

Honestly, I think it depends on your cultural and regional background in the US. We have some overarching social norms, yes, but for the most part these can vary by region greatly.

[@Robynhoodlum]

Also varies by family due to our mixed heritages. I’ve noticed the Scandinavian side of my family is quieter than the German side, for instance.

[@konpeitosama]

I agree.

[@SeashellsandHydrangea]

I would say that etiquette in the US varies a lot from region to region; here in Massachusetts and the Northeast in general, going up to a random stranger and starting a conversation out of nowhere is seen as prying into other peoples’ business. Also while smiling politely at someone if you make eye contact is a thing, most tend to keep to themselves. As for shoes, I always leave my shoes on the door mat when I come in to my place or other’s, especially in the winter when it snows a lot and it gets all over your boots. In general, we’re much more reserved than other places in the country, especially the South. I feel like it’s kind of difficult to make a video like that that applies to all of the US because it’s such a big place and it really depends on where you are.

[@kynn23]

Yes! We even have KZbin channels that highlight regional differences in culture.

[@micrn777]

I'm from NJ, by the beach areas, we do speak to people, we smile, most people I know do not wear shoes in the house, we thank people for holding the door, passing us an object like salt ect We also say sorry a lot if we feel like we have inconvenienced someone

[@themaskedhobo]

Yeah shoes in house is regional. I only knew one family that had a shoes off house growing up. But I lived in rather arid southern CA. Never mud on your shoes because it never rains. If by chance it did rain on a particular day (all 10 times a year) then every house became a shoes off house.

[@InterestsMayVary2234]

I am from a smaller town where you speak to someone if you make eye contact. If you do that in a big city, they usually look at you like you're nuts. Lol

[@vickishockey2474]

This is true. Many years ago I flew to Boston to be a nanny. I left the dysfunctional family after three weeks and it was such a relief landing in Seattle for my lay over. Talked with all kinds of people as we sat and waited to board. Warmed my heart, settled my nerves, and I felt like I was home.

[@83shaunam]

The thing about wearing shoes inside the house is that it's certainly more common here in the US to not be a shoes off household, but the people that are a shoes off household usually feel VERY strongly about it. They will usually tell you to take your shoes off but on the off chance they are not good at being direct, it's polite to ask if you should take your shoes off.

[@lindaeasley5606]

I believe etiquette rules should be obeyed for the most part when you are a tourist in another country. I'm not a shoes off person unless it's my own home. I think the shoes thing is more about feeling your most comfortable in America and that's in your own home. I would never take them off in someone else's house but if I were a tourist abroad,I probably would

[@sterling557]

@@lindaeasley5606 Japan (and other countries) used to have open sewers in the street, and men still pee on city walls after leaving a bar. That is why they take their shoes off. My brother lived there for a year, and learned they will then put on a pair of designated slippers for using the restroom. (They still remember squat toilets). My brother forgot to take the restroom slippers off

[@sterling557]

And walked into the hallway still wearing them. He said the lady of the house about had a heart attack!

[@karagi101]

@@lindaeasley5606 Take your shoes off. You step on a lot of crappy stuff outside.

[@Jodcob]

I went to Ireland in 2011. The one thing that really hit me like a rock was the fact that Europeans think drinking soda out of the can or bottle is trashy. I was so confused as to why they kept giving me a glass to pour my soda in.

[@danielserene4532]

I lived in Guatemala, they reused glass bottles and cans were basically unheard of. The upshot was that you either drank your soda right there at the store, through a straw because you just didn't want to touch the bottle to your lips, or you had a plastic bag to pour it in and drink it as you walked. Upshot was you always had a bag and straw with you.

[@lulus8122]

In Germany we only do the glass thing at restaurants or "older" people's homes, like my mom always puts out a glass for everyone no matter what they're having (except beer maybe) but around friends we usually don't use glasses, though most people ask if you want one when offering you a drink.

[@patmaurer8541]

I don't like drinking fron cans because the metal affects the taste of the beverage. And drinking anything carbonated directly from the bottle means you swallow more gas. 😉

[@paulmvalexander26pa]

Wasting resources

[@misstuxbrandi]

My friend from Korea thought it was weird Americans always had a drink on them everywhere. In the car, in class, at work. I was surprised when I asked him what koreans did when they were thirsty? He said they just drink before and after. I'm a sipper, plus sometimes my throat gets so dry it feels hard to speak and I can't stand the sound of someone talking with a dry mouth (Fauci for example always has that smacking, dry sound to me). I just don't think I could make it on scheduled drinking times.

[@Jeff_Lichtman]

I have a bunch of things to say about this one. Re: condiments. At diners and other inexpensive, informal restaurants, you usually won't have to ask for condiments because they'll already be on the table. A fancy place, like Chez Panisse, might not have ketchup or mustard in the restaurant at all. I have left no tip, or a minimal tip, a few times in my life. The waiter has to really screw up badly for me to do this. One time it was because the waiter simply disappeared. When I had finished my meal, I had to go looking for someone to give me the check, and when I finally found the manager, she explained that the waiter was a college kid who on his last day of work before returning to school, and he probably outside smoking. She didn't say what he was smoking. Anyway, no tip from me. Another time the waiter got my order wrong, and when I pointed it out, he took the food back and promised to get me the proper order right away. It took over 45 minutes. I would have left, except I was with someone else who had received his food. When the check finally arrived, it showed they were charging me both for the order I finally received and the wrong order that had been taken away. That got a 5 cent tip, because I wanted to send the message that I hadn't simply forgotten to leave a tip. Another time when I got horrifically bad service I did the old "penny under the glass of water" trick. Some people, even Americans, are a lot better at small talk than others. There really is a kind of an art to it. And there are places and times when small talk is inappropriate, and knowing when it's expected and when it isn't is cultural knowledge. For instance, I make small talk with my dental hygienist, but not with the nurse when I go for a doctor's appointment. I haven't been to Japan, but I know people who have lived there. That country has a lot of indirect communication. It's considered rude there to say "No," even to a simple question. As an example, a friend went into a store and asked whether a piece of clothing was available in green. The salesperson responded, "Perhaps you would like it in yellow." In Japan, that's understood to mean, "No, we don't have it in green." My friend, being American, didn't understand why her question wasn't being answered, so she asked again and got the same answer. One reason you don't sit in the front seat of a cab in the U.S. is that taxi driving is one of the most dangerous jobs in the country. Cab drivers get robbed and shot a lot. American cabs have transparent barriers to separate the passengers from the drivers. If you get in the front seat of an American cab, you'll freak out the driver, who will wonder if he's about to be mugged. One way to tell if a home has a shoes-off rule is to look for a rack or pile of shoes near the door. The west coast of the U.S. is more casual than the east coast. People in the west dress less formally, and they don't address someone as Mr., Miss, Mrs., Ms., Sir, or Ma'am as much. You can really see this in the corporate cultures of Silicon Valley companies, where an engineer wearing a suit is assumed to be going someplace like job interview. And Hawaii makes the west coast look formal.

[@johnalden5821]

The last point is very true. I used to work at a law firm in a large, East Coast city. The partners had hand-tailored, bespoke suits. Everyone at least wore a jacket and tie or business attire. One day, a couple of representatives from one of our clients on the West Coast flew in for a meeting. They showed up in Hawaiian shirts. I mean, they may have been the only dudes in the entire city wearing shirts like that. Conversely, the first time I ever went to a busy conference in San Diego, I was amused (and a bit shocked) when somebody got on the elevator wearing just a towel. I think they were coming from the spa, but still.

[@dragon32210]

Nice read!

[@aneophyte1199]

On condiments, one day a friend and I went to a restaurant in Beverly Hills (Lawry's Steak House). And when we got our meals we asked for ketchup. They brought out a gold cover gravy bowl filled with ketchup. I worked at a business in Beverly Hills where all the men were required to wear suits, when at work. The women were required to wear dresses or slacks, no casual wear.

[@SE-gs6gd]

In the south generally you address people as Miss or Mr and use sir and ma’am. The US is a big place and customs vary from region to region

[@danielserene4532]

I moved to Georgia from the Washington DC area. My first job interview in Georgia the interviewer was an Elvis impersonator in full costume. I declined the job.

[@aipo86t]

Even in our family the shoes in the house varies. My son's house has hardwood floors that are easily cleaned, so we keep our shoes on. My house has carpeting so we take our shoes off. It is best to ask. I think is about evenly split in the US now.

[@jacthing1]

I was definitely suprised by hearing that. I live in the US and have never heard that. But then the US is a huge country so it's not too suprising.

[@searleak]

It also depends on why you are visiting, if you are there for a party or a short amount of time its expected to keep your shoes on, especially if you will be going inside/outside often. If you are there for a longer time or only a handful of people are over its expected to take your shoes off. You can always ask or look at the host's feet to see if shoes are expected to be on/off. Also, Hollywood will almost always have shoes on in the film/show because they are actually filming in a studio/set and the actors may have to leave the set for things to be moved between takes. It also prevents unexpected accidents like stubbing a toe or stepping on something from ruining the take.

[@amstrad00]

I think this also depends on region and weather. For instance if you live in an area where it snows or if it's raining you'll probably find more households that take their shoes/boots off at the door to avoid tracking water through the house.

[@jeanninerash5701]

I am 60 and have never ever been asked to take my shoes off in someone’s house

[@aipo86t]

@@jeanninerash5701 It varies, I've asked people if they want me to take off my shoes and they thought the question was strange. Others were appaled that I would walk in their house with shoes on. And everything in between. I don't care as I hardly ever wear shoess, my wife has "House Shoes" Basically, don't track in mud.

[@secretlybees]

There ARE different accepted answers to "how are you" instead of "good/fine, you?" You can say "Hangin' in there." or "I've seen better days" (if you're not just walking by someone and are standing in line). "Keeping it together." They definitely still lean positive sounding, but you have options!!!

[@Lindzeeann2uuu]

It would drive me crazy if someone asked me three times if I wanted something. On the West Coast you ask once. On the third time, I’d be thinking to myself, “What part of ‘no’ did you not understand?” 😂

[@krackerjack1233]

From the east coast, the 2nd time I'm asked I usually respond: No, but thank you for the offer. 3rd time I'm thinking the same thing as you.

[@Robynhoodlum]

From the Midwest. We often will politely refuse the first time and change our mind the second time.

[@LETMino85]

Yeah, I couldn't deal with that on a daily basis 😆😅

[@evah3136]

Same! I'm also in the West, and I feel like it would be rude to offer more than once. Like you're not letting them make their own decisions. Also with my personality I might end up feeling pressured to say yes, and I would hate to do that to another person.

[@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n]

I'm from the west coast, but it depends on what I'm asking, whether I ask more than once. If I'm asking permission to do something, I ask a second time right before I actually do what I asked if I could, because sometimes people say 'yes' but don't mean it, just to be nice, so you have to ask a second time to make sure they weren't just feeling pressured into being agreeable

[@thebenefactor6744]

I remember, in the eighties and being in England, the mutual sense of bewilderment, by both myself and this group of English that I was out with, as they decided that we should go out for pizza; and me looking at them quizzically as they were eating it with a knife and fork, like they were at some black tie dinner, and them looking at me like I was some sort of cro- magnon animal, as I picked up a slice with my hands and crammed it in my mouth. Utter subtle comedy from both perspectives.

[@juliebrooke6099]

Pizza restaurants were still a fairly new thing in the eighties. These days I think many Brits would eat pizza with their hands, although it’s not unusual to use a knife and fork either.

[@faithlesshound5621]

On holidays in Italy, pizzas were always served with cutlery and eaten with the same. Maybe pizzas are "street food" in the USA? On the other hand, in low-end places in the UK burgers come in a bun on a plate with salad and chips. It took me a long time to realise that I was meant to pick the bun up with my hands and just use the cutlery for everything else on the plate.

[@notbill08]

My husband and I were in Australia and ordered hamburgers in a diner. When we were served and started eating with our hands, everyone in the place stopped and stared! It was then that we noticed people were using forks and knives to eat their hamburgers! Whaaat!

[@alanhartman6229]

In Italy pizza is often eaten with a knife and fork.

[@thebenefactor6744]

@@notbill08 ok, this comment literally takes the cake, or the hamburger. That's insane. Who tf eats a hamburger, or any sandwich with a knife and fork?

[@anthonysheehan640]

We're American, but my wife grew up in Korea. Korea also has the ask 3 times rule. BTW, she loved Ireland when we visited a few years ago, and after the visit she considers the Irish and the Koreans to be kindred spirits.

[@raydonahue1978]

What is the ask three times rule? Sounds excessive.

[@anthonysheehan640]

@@raydonahue1978 Greetings. When offered something like a snack or a beverage, you must decline the first 2 times and accept only on the third offer. So if someone wants to offer you a cup of tea, they must ask 3 times if you want the tea to get a yes. I guess the rationale is that you don't want to seem greedy and must be convinced to accept the favor.

[@Crazyasian123456]

@@anthonysheehan640 That sounds kinda similar to how I grew up (Fi-Chi culture). My cousins and I all refuse 2x before accepting any gift (Though Christmas gifts are the exception, guess we were a bit Americanized for that bit [barring the red envelopes]).

[@amyroos]

In the upper Midwest (Illinois and now Minnesota) there isn’t a hard and fast 3 times rule, but you definitely see it.

[@markhelms2408]

We in the NW are considered cold towards strangers,I guess we are but we're just being cautious...lol

[@laffingist218]

i got asked out by exactly one English girl when i lived in nyc, and despite her being way out of my league, it was funny how indirectly she did it. like, "my friend is having a birthday. I think I'll be going to that. would you be going?"

[@KelsaRavenlock]

The Britt that asked me out just told me "I was Horny" which was a bit odd at the time. Horny in this context meant attractive but it sure confused me for a minute.

[@philiprocker8707]

q⁰1

[@Farmer_El]

You've sort of described how I met my Irish wife. She was an exchange student about 1 year older, and queried if I was a tutor what would I tell her about conjugation. I didn't even know what the word meant at the time, but I asked her out. There is a whole lot more to the story, but time is short and there isn't room here anyway.

[@laffingist218]

@@Farmer_El that's lovely :)

[@amandarowland]

Lol my first date with my fiance was me casually mentioning that I had a free birthday burger at Red Robin and didn't want to go by myself, and he offered to join me... We were both too awkward to call it a date until afterwards...

[@Sturrmm]

I never understood the raised voices thing. I'm from the Midwest and being loud has always been considered rude to me.

[@ryanjacobson2508]

People in the Northeast are definitely louder than people from other regions.

[@melindam4841]

I live in the Deep South and also think loud talkers are boorish.

[@deespaeth8180]

I'm from Kentucky and I agree completely. Also, please do not try to start a conversation with somone who is reading, or who is wearing headphones. I'm an introvert and that's my way of politely asking others to leave me be.

[@ninascott8338]

I totally agree. I am from Iowa. Unless you are at a sporting event, those around you will raise their eyebrows like "What is with them?" if you are being overly loud in a public place. Most people also feel loud conversations on a cellphone are also rude.

[@anniesama5729]

I think you may be misunderstanding, they aren't referring to shouting or yelling, but just talking at a moderate volume. Just the raise in volume from a little excitement might be too loud. So, yes, practice your indoor voice as if someone in the next room is sleeping.

[@vbscript2]

The biggest thing that is missing from this list, in my opinion, is *lines* (i.e. queues of people.) Granted, Europe is very similar to the U.S. on this in my experience, but some other parts of the world are not. Cutting around someone in a line is considered exceptionally rude in America. Pushing in front of other people (especially in a line, but in virtually any situation) is also considered exceptionally rude. Please, please don't do that when you're in America. And, for those of you who come from countries where you're treated more importantly than others due to a caste system or just having above-average wealth or something like that... please be aware that this applies to you, too. You will not be considered more important than everyone else when you're in America. There may be cases where you have access to different queues (e.g. in airports due to frequent flyer status or flying on a premium-cabin ticket,) but, even then, you're expected to wait politely in your position in that queue. Also, please don't talk down to service staff or expect them to allow you to break rules regardless of how important you think you are (and, yes, there are some Americans who feel particularly entitled and do this, too, but the vast majority of Americans will consider it exceptionally rude.) Another one that isn't really a difference from most of Europe, but is from some other parts of the world: please do not attempt bribery in America. Yes, it is completely commonplace and an expected part of doing business in some countries. America is not one of those countries. Especially if you attempt to bribe a government official of any sort (including police officers and such,) that is a crime in the U.S. It will not get you out of whatever you're trying to get out of, but will instead get you an additional criminal charge. Just don't try it. I'd say the volume thing is somewhat true on average, but also varies a lot between Americans. It certainly isn't necessary to use muted tones everywhere you go in America, but it's still appreciated in many cases. For example, most Americans also consider the guy talking loudly on his phone in the airport lounge to be rather rude, as well (even though, yeah, he's probably also an American... most likely a sales guy. On behalf of our country, sorry about that.) This does also vary quite a bit between subcultures in America, though. Some are much louder (and also more verbally assertive/aggressive) on average than others. I would say, though, that this advice depends somewhat on where you're coming from. Compared to much of Europe and East Asia, yes, Americans are at least somewhat more tolerant of volume in public on average. However, at least judging from my experiences with large groups of Brazilians visiting in the U.S. (especially teenaged ones,) their tolerance of volume in public settings is much higher than ours. :) On the shoes thing... yeah, you can ask, but, honestly, I'd say people who actually want you to take your shoes off in their house are a very small minority in the U.S. and they are generally aware of that and will simply ask you directly (or have a small sign or something) if they actually want you to. In general, it tends to be more commonly the other way around. I'd find it kind of weird if someone just took their shoes off when entering my house, personally. Not rude per se (especially if they leave their socks on,) but still kind of odd. Personally, I don't ask, but rather would just expect that anyone who actually wanted me to take my shoes off upon entering their residence would just tell me so. Granted, for the above, I'm generally talking about the normal case. If your shoes are muddy or otherwise covered in stuff that will come off on the floor, that's another matter. In that case, tracking mud through someone's house would be considered rude by almost anyone.

[@hpoplick1]

I usually ask people to remove shoes especially when my kids were crawling. Think about all the gross places people walk including bathrooms in public places.

[@carrielist9406]

I think removing shoes is regional. If you see shoes by the front door they probably expect you to remove them. If the host greets you with shoes on then it's a shoes on house.

[@melissapalmer1839]

I also wanted to piggy back on your comment about waiting in lines. I can only speak for America since I've not traveled to Europe. But even within the US, I noticed a stark difference when I traveled down south (I'm from the Northeast.) I was in line at a convenience store in the south and the cashier was having an entire conversation with the customer in line. (They had already completed the purchase.) I mean, sure, it was nice that they were being friendly and all, but they kept the whole line waiting. Things move a lot more quickly up north. We would never hold up the line to chat. It's fine to chat while the transaction is happening, but move along as soon as that's done.

[@vbscript2]

@@melissapalmer1839 Yeah, I'm from the Southeast and I'd agree that that sort of thing is definitely more common here than in the Northeast, especially when compared to larger cities in the Northeast. I'd agree that it's kind of rude if continued more than briefly while others are waiting behind you, though. Holding up lines unnecessarily is generally considered rude in every part of America, as far as I've seen. No one likes to have their time wasted. Also, speaking of holding things up, another general rule to follow: *don't camp out in the left lane on multi-lane highway*. The left lane is not for casually cruising along, but rather for passing. Complete your pass, then get back over. Granted, most offenders of this rule in America are not foreign, but rather just rude Americans who don't care about how many people they're completely unnecessarily delaying or the danger created by the huge line of traffic they've caused to back up behind them. It's illegal in all 50 states, but that unfortunately doesn't seem to get enforced much. And, closely related to this, truckers please obey the signs telling you to stay out of the left lane(s)! Whether it's due to dense city traffic or something like a steep grade, those signs are there for a reason.

[@s.aliciajordan9079]

I have a disability that comes and goes. One time I had to use my cane at the airport and TSA had me leave the regular line and go through a shorter line for disabled people and I still felt SO guilty because, with the cane, I was perfectly capable of standing in the longer line. I would have needed the disabled line without the cane, but I wouldn't have been able to use it without the visibility of the cane.

[@moonglow630]

I don’t know if this counts as etiquette, but one that’s different in Europe than the US is that when you use the restroom in the US, you generally don’t have to pay for it. Spent countless amounts all over Europe using restrooms the 2 times I’ve been there 🤣🤣

[@orangbati]

i've heard non americans find the wide gap in our bathroom stalls weird - you can see the other person! (there are a lot of reasons for the gap) but the etiquette is NOT TO LOOK!

[@mylifewithmarmalade4624]

Yes, but the “paid” restrooms are also seemed to be cleaner and in better repair than similar facilities in the US. Which as far as I’m concerned is arguably worth the cost.

[@moonglow630]

@@mylifewithmarmalade4624 it’s just something if you’re not used to doing, you won’t take $$ with you when trying to use the restroom. And it’s not like it’s uniform. I’ve been all over the EU & every country & region seems different.

[@dudanunesbleff]

They will probably be cleaned frequently.

[@bryandawkins]

good manners are important because you are showing those around you that you are considerate to their feelings and also respect them. You are also setting standards for other's behavior and encouraging them to treat you with similar respect. Remember good manners are the keys that open many doors. hope you and Chewie having a day without drama

[@DianeJennings]

I agree

[@morrigankasa570]

@@DianeJennings Yep, anyway I think you would enjoy reacting to Minnesota Stereotypes videos, I live in Minnesota myself and some of the stereotypes are actually true and overall is funny.

[@andrewft31]

But what's good manners to one person might be seen as rude to another person. It also depends on where you live. Manner in New York City aren't the same as manners in a small town in Alabama lol trust me I grew up in a small town but now live in New York City. Two totally different worlds.

[@blupunk01]

There are some places I've lived outside the U.S. where people seem to have a much more vague sense about showing up for things. I know even in my home country I"m a bit of an outlier because I was raised in a military family where the rule was "If you're not 10 minutes early, you're late," but even taking that into account, I've rarely encountered people in the U.S. who if you make plans to meet for dinner at 7pm think showing up at 7:30 is acceptable barring an emergency (which you at least text to apologize for unless you're unconscious in the hospital).

[@amyroos]

Yes. In the US if you’re very late at all, apologize somewhat profusely. Otherwise it doesn’t look like you respect the other person’s time.

[@cbpd89]

So true! I have specific people in my life who we know each other to be frequently late and with those specific people we just don't stress about the lateness. For appointments and dates and such,I really stress the time.

[@mariateresamondragon5850]

If you show up to my house 10 minutes early, be prepared to wait on the porch.

[@deadparrot5953]

@@mariateresamondragon5850 I wish I could do that with my in-laws. They are routinely 15 minutes early to everything. Darn it, I need those last few minutes to finish getting ready!

[@ladydontekno]

lol some of you would not survive in a Latin American country. In many places, showing up early/on time is considered rude!

[@shadycnetwork]

The biggest shock for me when going to Europe was the lack of refills. Like when you go to a restaurant and you buy a soda you're buying one soda. Unless it was a restaurant that specifically said bottomless soda or something like that.

[@rafarequeni822]

In the USA, a meal is advertised as being, say, $20 but with taxes and tips you'll end up paying $30+. In Europe a meal would be advertised as 15€, tax included... but not drinks. The cost of the drink is accounted separatedly, and will easily bring your bill up to 25€. Since european restaurants make most of its profits with the drinks, free refill is a no-brainer.

[@anndeecosita3586]

I think charging for water 💧 was a big culture shock for me.

[@JSchroederee]

I hadnt thought about the increase in tipping but it kind of tracks that over years of relative prosperity, combined with stagnant low ages for service works, it makes sense.

[@jimjungle1397]

The increased tipping is promoted by the restaurant industry. Before Reagan put a freeze on minimum wage, full service restaurants were 10 percent for service. At lunch counters, pancake houses and diners it wasn't expected but if you tipped there it was 5 percent. As soon as minimum wage was frozen, full service restaurants started promoting 15 percent tipping. That's an overnight 50 percent increase from 10 percent. These days, it's hard to distinguish pancake houses, Denny's and full service restaurants that look like pancake houses or diners. Denny's was like a fast food restaurant and pancake houses and waffle houses were like diners.

[@yellowbug5113]

The public is expected to subsidize the employer's payroll.

[@jimjungle1397]

@Laura Atwood If tips don't bring your wages up to standard minimum wage of the state, then your employer is suppose to pay you the rest, to bring your hourly wages up to the state minimum wage. If tips bring your hourly wage higher than the state minimum, then the employer pays you the service minimum plus tips. The taxed amount can't be higher then actual income you receive.

[@justtasting]

@@jimjungle1397 I'm not sure where you got your rules from -- or the idea that Reagan somehow caused tipping to be required, but it has always been expected that you would tip people who serve you a meal -- even at a lunch counter (unless you mean a takeout counter). In the early 1960s my dad taught me, "If you can't afford a 15% tip, you can't afford to eat out." Waiting on people has always been hard, back breaking work. Especially at a lunch counter where you have to serve a lot of people relatively inexpensive meals in a very short time span. Nowadays, I wouldn't consider leaving less than a 20% tip for any waiter.

[@jimjungle1397]

@@justtasting Not that Reagan caused tipping to be required, but when the freeze was put on minimum wage, the restaurant industry started promoting this increase in tipping and somehow justifying it as due to the freeze on minimum wage. 10 percent was the norm for full service restaurants, for as long as I could remember. Out in the country, where restaurants didn't get much traffic, the employers have to match minimum wage if service wages plus tipping doesn't reach minimum wage. Those servers would in effect have a freeze on their pay and not want to work in that industry, in those locations. Service fees on restaurant bills suddenly jumped from 10 percent to 15 percent, a 50 percent increase. The restaurants could have just easily raised menu prices instead. Places like lunch counters are not full service restaurants, with busboys and such. There were and are places that are somewhere between full service and fast food. Full service restaurants divide tips among the staff. People that work fast food, work hard, but that doesn't call for tipping them full service restaurant tips. In traditional pancake houses, diners and lunch counters, the server was also the person that cleared the tables, without a large staff to divide their tips.

[@sparky6086]

Up until the '80's, things were pretty formal at work in America, as far as not addressing people by their first names. It was always Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr, or Coach for bosses and employees and sometimes just the last name of the employee, the exception being small or family businesses, where people were sometimes addressed in a casual manner. As far as how people dress in public in America it varies with the decades, although the general trend has been toward more casual.

[@wjpoconnor]

Also, the work etiquette gets more formal the more disparate the relative positions. You may call your boss Jim and his boss Janet, but you'll probably call the CEO by their formal name. Unless, of course, if they've given permission to be informal with them.

[@yvonnepalmquist8676]

I agree this has changed a lot over the past 30+ years. I really did not like it when people I was not acquainted with started calling me by my first name without even asking me. I still don't like it. I take cues based on the setting now, but I still prefer the formality of Mr. Mrs. Ms. etc.

[@jenniferpearce1052]

@@yvonnepalmquist8676 I'm so confused with other people's kids! When I was little, every adult was Mr, Miss or Mrs. The weird few who wanted to be called by their first names made me so uncomfortable I couldn't talk to them. It felt wrong. Now, it seems that most people teach their kids to all adults by their first name.

[@johnnabuzby6103]

@@jenniferpearce1052 I'm from eastern North Carolina and grew up in the 70s. I remember one day when a gentleman came to our house while I was outside with my mom, hanging out clothes. She called the man by his first name, Dallas, so I did too and he put me in my place real quick, saying "that's Mr. Dallas to you young lady." On another note, I get so annoyed seeing people out and about running errands in their pajamas. For crying out loud, have a little bit of pride in your appearance people!

[@NarwahlGaming]

@@johnnabuzby6103 I'm handicapped and getting older and fatter as a result. I have fully embraced pajama culture. 😂 With what I have I have no dating prospects so, it doesn't matter to me, any more.

[@clownzzz4837]

For some jobs in the U.S., employees rely heavily on tips as they tend not to get paid much by their employers. BTW, if I get bad service, I'm not afraid to let the staff know and I expect it to be fixed. I don't think I've ever walked out not leaving a tip.

[@rmdodsonbills]

And while prices regularly go up, that minimum wage (typically) does not which may well be why the percentage has gone up.

[@metalvideos1961]

waiters get less then 3 dollars an hour and have to survive on tips. yet they live in the richest nation in the developed world. how fuking stupid can it get. pure slavery

[@pluschfilter8515]

However, it is not the customer's problem if the employer does not pay the employee enough. It is then the employee's duty to tell the boss that he is paying too little and to ask for more money. If the boss fires you, that's still better than being a slave!

[@clownzzz4837]

@@pluschfilter8515 People have to pay their bills.

[@lisac3577]

@@pluschfilter8515 That's just the way it is here, and it has nothing to do with being as you say a "slave". You say it's an employee's duty to tell their boss they are paying too little, then why take the job in the first place it's not like there is some secret salary they were unaware of on day one. Then you say it's better not to have a job at all....what a weird reply.

[@tacyak198]

In the US a lot of restaurants give you a LOT of food. Its very common for someone to ask a waiter for a 'to-go box' so they can save what they didn't eat for later. I noticed that was a weird request elsewhere in the world. The personal bubble is definitely a thing wherever you go. You should also plan trips carefully here, especially when visiting cities because there are some big differences between areas and regions...from affluent to poverty stricken. But that's like everywhere in the world (well, not every but a lot of it). The US is very diverse from region to region, and from urban to suburban and rural. People in a small town will be different than a big city (heck, people from our own cities are almost like foreigners to us sometimes!) but I think you'll largely find people are very polite and friendly and don't mind lending help or advice to visitors.

[@RobertvanHoose]

1. Gift opening varies in the US. Mainly, DO NOT open a money gift in front of others. But if someone brings a wrapped gift and squarely hands it to you, you should probably open it. Context matters, if everyone’s bring gifts, like a birthday, opening will usually be done all at once. If the gift might be sensitive you’re expected to tell them they might want to open it later. :)

[@kaylietaryn2375]

As a server myself I feel like (definitely in the south) greeting customers with terms of endearment (sweetie/hon/etc) is not just acceptable but almost expected. Definitely a “hey y’all” at some point is needed lol

[@DianeJennings]

Oh thats so interesting!

[@LindaC616]

Midwestern people also "hon" each other. I once picked up that our server at a conference dinner in Ireland was American, and all she said was "no, hon". Yep, she was from Nebraska!

[@kaylietaryn2375]

@@LindaC616 ha!! I try not to say that so much about the MW because it also includes places like Chicago and MN and WI lol

[@atrain9042]

🎯🎯🎯🎯 spot on, waving hello from Florida 🙋‍♂🙋‍♂

[@LindaC616]

@@kaylietaryn2375 nah, it's typical of MN and WI for sure (I'm from MI, but lived in WI for 10 years). You're right, Chicago people can be tougher. Big city and all that

[@ArtofFreeSpeech]

I've always found it's wise to ask the gift giver when they'd like you to open it, usually by saying "would you like me to open it now?" At a birthday party or wedding, it's pretty standard to open gifts either all at once or much later on, and when it's Christmas, half the people want you to open it up right away, in front of them, while the other half expect you to put it under your tree and wait. So, again, asking when they'd like you open it is probably the best manners you can have.

[@skyspring7704]

My experience is that only at wedding s are gifts opened later. At birthday parties the gits are opened and passed around for the guests to admire. That's on the west coast.

[@NarwahlGaming]

Me: "Should I open it, now? It might be sexy panties." **shakes box next to ear** No matter the size of the box or envelope. No matter who it's from. 😂 [I'm a guy.]

[@ArtofFreeSpeech]

@@skyspring7704 I've personally never been to birthday party where they didn't gather all of the gifts from all of the guests, and then, only after everyone's arrived, and everyone has cake, do they open them. But, hey, different strokes, right?

[@dennisstafford1749]

Mainly a Southern thing but I was always taught to say Yes Sir, No Sir and Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am. A male always gives up his seat to a female or an elder. Women enter first and you hold the door open for them.

[@x2y3a1j5]

Although I share a lot of US Southern etiquette, the women enter first rule makes no sense to me. If they enter first, we got another opportunity to check again their butts. Also, the man entering first allows him to (a) hold the door for the lady and, more importantly, (b) check that the place is safe, nice & neat for "his" lady. Of course, your place, your rules; but sometimes a rule from a different place makes better sense.

[@sarar7115]

I will admit I was raised somewhere that didn’t stress the ma’am and sir, so I don’t naturally use it. But have you ever gotten it wrong? 😬 I’d feel so embarrassed if I did lol

[@poetichealing]

Something to be mindful of when tipping in the states-Make sure to check your receipt first, especially if you're in a large group of 8 or more. Many times, the establishment will automatically add the gratuity into the total (usually around 18%), so if you tip on top of that, you're actually double tipping. Almost always, this is done without informing the party, so you could do it and never know. That being said, if there's no gratuity added on, I'm more likely to tip servers more than other service workers because as a rule, they typically don't even make minimum wage hourly. I believe it's less than $5 an hour, but it may have changed since the minimum wage increase (even though they're not subject to the minimum wage laws). Just a couple of years ago, they made less than $3 an hour, so their tips are their livelihood. I do still tip for other services, but servers definitely get the highest percentage.

[@stonewolf.90]

In America, if it's a birthday party, you usually put all the gifts in a pile on the table. Then there's usually a set time where you open all your gifts for all to see. Also, its proper to open a birthday card first before the present. Any gifts you received outside of your birthday party can be opened on the spot

[@anndeecosita3586]

Baby showers too

[@johnedgar7956]

Hi Diane! Greetings from Missouri in the USA. 🙂I never knew about the taboo against opening gifts in front of everyone, but it makes total sense!! I think here in America we're hoping for that satisfaction of seeing the gift recipient's face light up with delight at what we got for them when they see what's in the package or something, but doing it your way makes a LOT of sense!!

[@apexchaser6187]

Omg, that's the first time I've seen one of those little pop-ups telling people to be nice! I love it! Greetings from the USA. I wanted to address the subject of tipping. I am a service industry veteran, who really takes pride in creating exceptional experiences for my guests or clients. I think I have only neglected to tip once in my entire life (I'm in my '50s), and that was because the service was exceptionally terrible as well as the product and attitude. In the example you showed of those horrible nails, I think not tipping would have been completely acceptable. Although it is customary and an expectation that people in the service industry receive tips, the whole idea behind it is to both reward and encourage, the warm over the top, diligent customer service that we are known for. As an American, and a service industry veteran, I'm officially giving anyone visiting our complicated, but nonetheless wonderful country discretion around this issue. If you have a truly terrible experience, pay your bill and walk off without leaving a tip. That is the loudest message that you can send about your dissatisfaction short of wasting your time, calling over a manager and potentially drawing an unpleasant situation out even longer. If you receive simply substandard service, the standard expected tip is around 20%. I think if your service was mediocre, or seriously lacking, leaving something like a 1 to 5% tip, is an acceptable way to communicate that the server, or service provider needs to try harder. With all that said, I'm an advocate for the end of tipping in America, as it would place the burden of providing living wages upon employers. Great video so far, have a beautiful day! 😁👍

[@LGW27]

American wait staff depend on the tips. Without their tips, they might make just enough to buy gas to and from work (especially true on a slow shift). Their minimum wage is, usually, about 1/3 of the regular minimum wage which is already really poverty wages in many states. So, please, tip them well. If you consider how low the costs of most meals in restaurants, it really is not that unreasonable total price when you tip. Please, keep in mind how busy the restaurant is, too, if you are concerned with how often she/he comes by.

[@gingerpeters1383]

I know a lot of older people, who have this creamy white carpet throughout. They don't guard the door, but always seem to maintain an unspoken "shoes left on the porch" rule.

[@DianeJennings]

Oh pale carpets? baaaaad idea

[@gingerpeters1383]

@@DianeJennings yes. These ppl say it's ok for them because there were no children around, to make it affordable.

[@scottguitar28]

15-20% has generally always been the standard over the past decade or so. How much someone thinks is standard depends greatly on age and other demographics. I could see someone 16-22 tipping 5-15% if anything, while most working adults will tip 15% if the service is mediocre or bad, 20% for decent or good service. Many workers who receive tips on the job rely on those tips to pay their wage. For example, in my state, employers only have to pay their tipped staff 60% of minimum wage, assuming the tips make up for that missing 40%, which they usually do and then some.

[@moni13000]

I do have to say in terms of tipping, I think the percentage rising over the last decade is really a testament to the economy turning to shit and the younger generations sense of empathy. Most restaurants pay their staff less than minimum wage because they consider tips to be part of their paycheck. I recently heard that some pay as little a $3-5 an hour. And tips are supposed to encourage their wait staff to provide great service because they’ll be more driven to make up for the discrepancy. Since the economic depression back in 2007(ish) it’s been harder for the younger generations to find good jobs even after getting a degree. So most of us have settled for minimum wage jobs, and a great portion of that is food service. Because we’ve had to work these jobs and deal with rude/entitled customers, I think we’ve grown much more empathetic towards people who work customer service jobs. And so that turns into tips. For myself I normally tip 20%. If I thought the service was very lacking I may dip to 15%. But the server has to be outright rude or something for me to leave no tip. The way I see it is even if they didn’t go above and beyond, they still deserve a good tip because the job is very stressful and draining and they are often struggling with things like trying to pay rent or saving money to fix their car. So if I’m financially stable enough to afford 20% I’m happy to pay it to help someone keep food on their own table, not just mine.

[@katherinemcintosh7247]

I found, when I was doing a semester abroad in Friesland, the Netherlands, that Americans are quite direct, and considered very opinionated (because of this directness) by Swedish and British people. It was a funny thing to see in our cultural differences class.

[@ekaski1]

Oh yes, it's very interesting, because by German standards, Americans are positively indirect, polite, insincere, and borderline superficial.

[@katherinemcintosh7247]

@@ekaski1 😂 yes, you are so right!…and as a very direct American, when my our family (my husband, our one child and then another born there and myself,) lived in Germany for 5 years, I actually fit in rather well, learned the language, and made a dear friend. It was refreshing to me to live in a culture where people don’t tend to beat around the bush at all…even the words they uses are direct. My favorite was “ein Bohrer” which means “drill.” (A drill bores holes.)😂

[@MagentaLooks]

I think the etiquette with presents in North America is this: if you give someone a present and they don’t open it right away, it looks like they’re going to enjoy it later and it’ll be about the present itself, whereas if they open it now, it’s a moment you can share in together and you can see if they like it and tell them a bit about where you got it and why. It’s the experience, not just the thing itself.

[@balinchainly420]

I am 37 years old and my dad just hugged me for the first time in my life, he did it as part of a story and acted out a short hug on me. I then said , "that was the first hug you ever gave me". He thought about it and agreed that it probably was. We are Americans.

[@lisadime9411]

I think even if hugging is not done daily there still are times when it is done. When leaving(arriving) home for an extended period of time. I did not come from a particularly touchy fam but taking 37 years to give a hug is not normal..

[@justtasting]

@@lisadime9411 "Not normal" Did you mean to be that judgemental? Some people in some families don't hug. It's not up to you to point out what's normal or not. You can say that your family's norm is to hug or even that you don't know anyone who doesn't hug family members (or you don't think you do). It's unkind and rude to judge a total stranger that you know nothing about.

[@Crowski]

As a southern American I think we’re different than the “norm” in USA. We don’t mind hugs, even if we don’t know you and are meeting the first time, we also expect manners and courtesy. Small talk is expected as well, if you just stand there and not say anything it makes things really awkward. 😂

[@anndeecosita3586]

In the South I literally have had people hug me the first time we met.

[@kristend344]

There was one man who became very adept at not offending French Chef's when asking for salt. He claimed it was his dr's orders that he needed extra salt for his health.

[@x2y3a1j5]

I live in France, have done so these past 26 years. Specifically, Paris. I've never seen or heard of any French chef coming to berate, let alone very kindly ask anyone, why they would need salt or whatever. Maybe that's a thing the Euro chefs are doing in the US to give themselves some extra importance? My French experience has been replicated in (West to East) Portugal, Spain, Ireland, Belgium, Italy, Switzerland, the Netherlands, and Germany. Never have I heard anyone reporting anything different from any Euro country not mentioned.

[@rtqpcrxn]

Fine dining etiquette is definitely different! For European fine dining, I believe you would keep fork and knife in the same hands for cutting and for putting food in the mouth. For American fine dining, you should put fork in the left hand and knife in the right to cut something like a steak, then put the knife down and switch the fork back to the right hand to put it in the mouth. Also the fork never goes upside down to put anything in the mouth, always with tines up.

[@mattheweudy2396]

US & Oz are both super informal, but if you can balance a polite but kind air, I believe it helps folks relax & open up.

[@DianeJennings]

Very true!

[@stphilomena911]

As a waitress, I can tell you that we know that foreigners know how to tip, but most of the time they still don't. And they feign ignorance. So thank you to all of the visitors that do tip!😊

[@katrinalynn11]

Their custom is not to tip because the business pays their employees a good pay. I tip but find it discussing to have to chip in to pay their wages. Sometimes you have to suck it up to make sure the poor server is getting a good wage from you tipping. I have to say that service is a lot better in usa due to tipping as in Europe service is not great at least in England. I have heard from a lot of Americans that Ireland is their favorite place. Beautiful and love the people there.

[@Jay_Kay666]

I have always tipped no matter how disgusting and elitist it feels that some real person is living on my breadcrumbs. What I really dream of is giving a waitress 50 bucks and tell him to fuck off and let me eat not asking if everything is peachy and wonderful.

[@SunshineJoleen]

As a foreigner I promise you we don't all know how to tip. I knew that it was a thing in the US but the last time I was there (just at the airport actually, in transit) I ate at a restaurant and had completely forgotten about the whole tip thing... thing was, my waiter was being such an absolute sweetheart and so helpful and it made me remember that tipping was a thing. I had ordered as much as I could afford with the USD I had left, and didn't have anything left for a tip. Realising this, I literally left my food at my table and went to a cash machine and got about 10usd. I think I withdrew as little as the machine would let me because once I got my flight any remaining USD change would be useless. My meal cost maybe 50 USD. I tipped about 5usd and felt like that was very generous. Years later I heard about this 20% rule. We know you guys do the tipping thing but not everyone is aware of how much is expected. It's not about being stingy at all. Trust me, it's NOT fun to find out, after you've budgeted how much you're willing to spend, that the US will spring extra costs on you like sales tax and tips that you weren't prepared for. So if the price tag says 50 dollars well, SURPRISE! this item/meal will actually cost you almost 70 dollars. That feels like robbery and it makes shopping/dining extremely stressful when you're not used to it. EDIT: Before anyone wonders, the airport restaurants were not accepting my (foreign) credit card. I HAD to pay cash... so factor in the additional fees to withdraw USD from my non USD accounts. Absolute joy.

[@bipbop3121]

@@katrinalynn11 When I went to London and Bath (2012), I did not have bad service, anywhere. I'm not a very demanding person. Now that I think on it, I did get left alone more maybe than I do in the states, but there wasn't any neglect, doing without, delay, mistakes to be corrected or rudeness. I didn't have the best service ever, as the fewer exceptional experiences stateside, but I didn't have any bad experiences. I've had some really bad ones in the US. The city I'm in at the moment adequate service is hard to find, no work ethics. Because things are so bad here, it really shocked me just how excellent a diner waitress was (even though I'm broke af, I had to tip her well, even if it wasn't as well as I'd wish).

[@katrinalynn11]

@@SunshineJoleen wow. You went way too far to tip. My word! I am impressed!

[@belafalda7594]

With the gift giving, I like to hold on to it and open it later (USA native here). My etiquette is that I don't open the gift immediately unless the giver asks me "are you going to open it?"

[@toradora1439]

It really depends on which part of the US and which country/culture you're comparing it too in Europe. My ex-wife was from Czech, and the biggest struggle she had here was with the language, and driving. She also had a darker sense of humor too, which didnt bother me so much, but some people didnt understand.

[@joshg5657]

15% tip has always been the standard to start with. Then go up or down based on service. Never heard of #4 - gift giving. Usually that's based more on the activity and when it works best.

[@joshg5657]

@R MS I'm not sure how old "old" is supposed to be. I'm over 40 and have never heard anything but 15% as the baseline. Always in my case goes back to the 70s.

[@jeradw7420]

Where I grew up in the midwest, if the occasion was to open right away but you don't, it can be seen as you don't like the gift.

[@StamperWendy]

In Massachusetts, it's been 20% for at least 30 years but we have a very strong tourist industry here.

[@jacthing1]

@@StamperWendy not to mention it being the land of taxes

[@redrick8900]

@R MS You just hung out with cheap jerks when you were young.

[@jerryhouston5400]

I live in the south in the states more specifically Tennessee. It’s not uncommon if your children are getting out of hand for someone to either a direct your attention to your misbehaved child, or they will correct them themselves. We do believe in the philosophy of it takes a village to raise a child🤷🏼‍♂️

[@Breathe-In-and-Out]

My husband, four year-old daughter and I stopped at a family diner in rural Tennessee on a road trip. My daughter and I did the obligatory bathroom visit, and upon exiting, loudly announced to her father in a room full of people, "Father! I pooped in the potty, and it was a clean poop! I didn't wiggle!" My husband looked around the room as people were smiling and looking at us, and he announced, "Yes, this is my daughter." He got a chuckle.

[@brendamoon2660]

In Tennessee people also feel free to interfere when you're disciplining your child. When I would scold mine not to touch merchandise, not to be loud etc I frequently had people butt in to defend them with "she's just a child". And if you give your child a spank in Tennessee, expect the police to be called.

[@lakilucid42]

@@brendamoon2660 idk what part of TN you were in but they firmly believe in a spanking.

[@brittanyt729]

Someone has probably already said this, but part of the fun of giving gifts is seeing someone appreciate it. I guess we want a pat on the back. Unfortunately, that means the person receiving the gift can feel pressured to act like they like it even if they don’t. Even if you don’t really like the gift it is an absolute must to say thank you.

[@theronleague7692]

In certain areas of the US, it is expected that you remove your shoes when entering a home. I lived in Alaska for 13 years, and it is expected that you take your shoes off when you enter anyone's home. In the winter time, your shoes usually have snow or melting ice on them, in the spring or fall they may be covered with mud or dirt, so it is polite to remove your shoes and not track all that through the house.

[@lindacaldwell6251]

Unless they have animals in the house like we do. But I will tell you to please leave them on if you know whats good for you!!

[@maryjennings4913]

The one time I remember not tipping a service worker, was my husband and I didn't tip a cab driver in my area. We were taking a trip to NYC. We called a local cab company to reserve a cab 24 hours in advance to be at the Amtrack train station at a specific time. The cab was STILL 15 minutes late!!!! When he did arrive, he insisted on taking the longest way to the station. It, unnecessarily, added 15 minutes more to the trip, and more money to the fare. We made plans to get there as early as possible. But, as a matter of principle, it was the only time we didn't tip someone in a service job.

[@Bobal27]

Here’s a number 14 for you: “Break any of these rules at any time.” As long as you have an excuse or reason, we’re not bothered. For example, if you had a long day of walking, and you really want to leave your shoes at the door, that’s ok. Even at some houses, where wearing shoes indoors is mandatory (people who don’t like feet smells), they’ll make an exception if they understand that you wouldn’t be comfortable given their restrictions. Our friends come second (behind family, ahead of ourselves). Our guests are our friends. Also, if someone serving me at a restaurant screwed up my order more than once, I’m not tipping. They’d understand, and it might just give them the shock they needed to “get their head in the game.”

[@justtasting]

@Bobal27, Always tip. Always. Leave them wondering how much bigger the tip might have been if service had been better. If it was that bad, don't go back. If not, you'll never get excellent service from any waiter in that establishment. Plus, you just look like a cheap jerk who is just waiting for an opportunity to NOT tip. Is that true of you?

[@miltoncallan1471]

Here in America, it is encourgaed to beat someone senseless with a board if they are talking loudly on their phone.

[@Salty_Balls]

I personally reach into my pocket and strip a round from my spare magazine and then TOSS a 9mm STFU pill at them. It can hurt and also serve as a promise of more to come. But that's just me.

[@BBQDad463]

In many countries, when dining out, you will have to ask for the bill. In such countries, if you are offered your bill without having to ask for it, it means they want you gone ASAP. In the USA, the bill may be brought without a request but only so that you will not have to wait and will be able to pay and leave as soon as you wish. In better restaurants, you pay at the table.

[@denysenielsen8115]

My experience in the US is that they rush you thru the meal and want you pay immediately and leave. They want to turn the table for more customers. While in many European countries going out to eat is a social evening and you can spend the evening socializing, eating and drinking. Prefer the European way myself. Once in the US at a Steak House (it was beside the hotel by a major highway) husband and I ordered a bottle of wine and the waitress said in all her years waitressing 10+ years she had never sold a bottle of wine to a couple. 🤦‍♀

[@someoneyoudontknow7705]

@@denysenielsen8115 Yup, exactly true! I’m from the US but lived in Germany for 2.5yrs and travelled all around Europe. I love the European way about so many things and I didn’t want to leave…this was one of them!!!

[@seresimarta4436]

I hated to go to restaurants in the US. I found it so rude that in every 2 minutes the waiter came to make us order something more or to make us leave. It was very stressful. Who likes this? Why would you choose to go to a restaurant to be rushed and to pay a very big tip (compared to Europe)? It's just not fun at all. We ended up buying things in the super market and eating them quietly in our hotel room. Usually when I am abroad I love to go to restaurants and vibe with the local culinary culture etc, but in the US it was very stressful.

[@Theutus2]

I haven't tipped less than 20% since the late 90's, except when the service was horrible.

[@richjenkins8794]

I'm glad someone else feels that way! 20% is my minimum (unless they were beasts) and 50% not unheard of. Usually its only $5 or $10 more but anyone that has to deal with people all day has my respect.

[@wabash9000]

I avoid the curse by never taking a bus. Not really a concern for most Americans.

[@DianeJennings]

😂

[@stevenjohnston3496]

Your loss! I have driven a transit bus for thirty years here in Utah. People actually ride my bus at times just to talk to me. I once received a commendation stating that riding my bus was a blessing! Come ride my bus some time, we'll talk.

[@kingbrutusxxvi]

Someone told Diane it was 10-15% for tipping? I'm 52 and I've always heard 15-20% for tipping. It can be even higher depending on the meal, service, etc..

[@ExUSSailor]

Same here. I was always told 20%, but, I'm only a bit younger, so, maybe it's generational?

[@jwb52z9]

In a lot of places where people tend to be more stingy, they'll do the 10 to 15 percent, but only for amazing service. This is usually in a place where people think waitstaff are beneath human dignity, so they think not tipping them will somehow force them to do anything they can to get a better job by any means necessary.

[@DianeJennings]

Check out my older video comment sections! Honestly, people were definitely telling me 10 to 15 back then

[@dingalingdongly]

@@DianeJennings I think it's a bit regional. Growing up in the middle of the country 15% was standard, but 10 was fine and 20 was for outstanding service. On the coasts, I think people kind of expect 20. Over the last two years I've seen some restaurants just include a 20% wage charge in the bill... And still leave a line for optional tips 😳. Loved the vid!

[@Mottleydude1]

There is one. Don’t call an American a “Yank” unless you know what part of the US they are from. Strictly speaking a Yank is a person from the New England region (North East) US. In practice though it’s anyone from the northern part of the US. Call them a Yank and the probably won’t care. However it would, more than likely, offend someone from the Southern U.S.

[@Venslor]

Or do call someone from the South a Yank and have a bowl of popcorn ready.

[@dabeage]

I wouldn't do it at all, because "yank" is also synonymous (a big word to many,) 'wanker' or violent pull.

[@richerDiLefto]

Exactly. The word Yank means US person outside the US, but inside the US, it means Northern US person *only.*

[@melissaculpepper7663]

Americans are extremely generous! We appreciate great service and will tip well for it. It supports our economy, too. I waited tables and lived off of my tips!

[@FriskyPanda167]

There's been times I've doubled the bill for the tip. Especially if we've taken up a shit ton of time at the table and the waiter/ress was super chill and never even seemed a wee bit upset about it.

[@louisa6539]

Saying "Americans" do this or that ignores how multicultural we are. In many Asian- American households, for example, removing shoes is expected. Besides different ethnicities there are class differences regarding loud talking and even foul language. And manners vary by region. Basically, though, if you're trying to be polite don't worry if you break an etiquette rule.

[@kathleenlindquist4799]

Of course you’re right about multiculturalism in the US. But it seems to me, most homes I visit expect you take off your shoes. Maybe it has to do with carpeting and tracking dirt on it, especially here in the North because of snow.

[@rafarequeni822]

@@kathleenlindquist4799 I have a theory about taking off shoes in the house: in places where it snows a lot there are basically two seasons, snow season, and mud season. Either way when you get home with your shoes soaked in something dirty. In places like Los Angeles or all the mediterranean shore, when it almost never rains, your shoes look pretty much the same as when you put them on (that doesn't mean they don't have some dirt on them, but it's not as noticeable). Also, colder climates tend to put carpet or wooden floors which are more delicate to maintain. In southern and eastern Spain all floors are hard ceramic tiles, which is cooler in summer (summer being like 8 months of the year) and easy and quick to clean with a mop.

[@jayburns5210]

The opening gift rule in America has been changing. When I was a kid the rule was to open all presents in front of everyone. For my kids the rule at birthday parties has always been to open the gifts after the other kids leave.

[@mikekwayne]

In my 60's and have seen some of these rules change. 1) Yes we are more casual now than years ago. Part of that started when first gas crisis had business raising thermostats to where suits were uncomfortable. No matter what is said...suits/formal dress is still good idea for an interview. The Walmart/Best buy khakis and golf shirt started, in part, so businesses didn't have to pay for employee uniforms. 2) From a food industry family...tipping here in Texas has for half a century been 15%, started going to 15%-20% in last 20 years. 3) Titles can be context sensitive. I worked AND attended a college. My boss was Dr. So and So in class. He was Dr. John when I was working. Off campus he was just John. Rule of thumb..only MD's get a Doctor title off campus. 4) A team of Indian co workers had real problems integrating with our team till someone explained, gently and discreetly, that they needed to stay an extra step back. Got along great after that. We ourselves aren't always aware of that custom...just that someone too close makes us unsettled. 5) Always tip a bartender well...sometimes they respond with stronger drinks or the occasional shot "on the house". Sometimes. 6) In West Texas, with few cars on the road, we have "car small talk". You may not see another car for an hour or more...when you do...you raise your hand off the steering wheel and give a small wave, just to acknowledge another human being.

[@mylifewithmarmalade4624]

Also title use in an academic setting can vary by institution or even department in that institution. For some odd reason although 99% of the philosophy faculty at my alma matter did use the “doctor so and so” 99% of the science profs went by their first name alone. So pay attention that first day of class so you can figure out how they’d like to be addressed.

[@johnpendleton4158]

Some times here in the southern part of the USA. When we address a person. We'd say Mister John or Miss Jane. Kind of a mixture of what was mentioned.

[@justinecooper9575]

When I was in a restaurant in Paris I was surprised that everybody else had both of their elbows or forearms on the table. It was only much later that I found out that keeping one hand in your lap while eating was only an American custom. (One theory is that this practice goes back to riverboat gamblers who held a gun in their lap while sitting at a table.)

[@judithhope8970]

I was raised to believe it bad etiquette in the UK to have elbows on the table, I'm not sure it's still taught, and of course we use both hands for our knives and forks. I can't bear to see people, even children, who eat with their mouths open! I don't want to see what people are eating. I didn't realise you were actually taught to have one hand in your lap.

[@kynn23]

@@judithhope8970 Ever since taking French in high school, I've adopted the habit of keeping knife & fork in hand and forearms (but not elbows) on the table. But I'm definitely an outlier among Americans. Here, people will often cut their food one bite at a time with the side of the fork, keeping the other hand firmly in their lap.

[@s.aliciajordan9079]

I was taught that elbows never go on the table. Both hands are allowed to be above the table if you're using both, say to cut meat, but otherwise you should generally keep the unused hand in your lap. However, that's not a hard and fast rule like the no elbows.

[@karensnow1244]

I never understood why the elbows on table was a bad eating etiquette here and UK In America it's extremely rude to walk awY from dinner table without permission But for me as long you don't talk with mouth full or eat with mouth open and not use cell at table. That's awesome

[@DoraEmon-xf8br]

As a Frenchman, when I was a kid I’d be scolded each and every time I didn’t have my hands on the table. Same goes for the elbows as it is considered bad manner here.

[@CristinSierra]

I’m in the US, grew up in the south and moved to the Midwest as a kid. In the south it was pretty common to take off your shoes. I’m the Midwest it’s more common to keep them on. My mom had a hard rule, everyone took shoes off when they came in, even guests. In my home, we keep our shoes off but we leave it up to our guests on if they wanna leave shoes on or take them off

[@visiongoo]

I'm in the Midwest and everyone I knows takes odd their shoes. Maybe it varies by Midwestern state. In Minnesota we have snow half the year and no one wants that tracked in their house.

[@MdnightWnd]

I grew up in the deep south and I've never known anybody who required the shoes off in the house unless it was horribly muddy or something.

[@dobermanownerforlife3902]

depends on. the floor surface. hard floors usually shoes. carpet definaty no shoes.

[@rufcut2273]

One big thing I remember from my first visit to Europe is at the dinner table. Americans generally only have the knife in the hand when using it to cut meat or spread butter or whatever, whereas in Europe the fork and knife are always in hand. This goes back to revolutionary days and just before in order to reduce injuries when political arguments got a bit too heated. A knife on the table is harder to use than the one that is already in your hand.

[@natehill8069]

Really? I never heard that before, Ive always wondered why they do that.

[@joyc4467]

Loving the graphics, Diane! And I laughed out loud when the cat hit the human. 😂 I think a tangential one to one of the others is saying thank you a lot. Maybe it’s a southern thing but I think we say thank you every time a server comes to the table for refills, brings the food, brings the salt, etc. The tip thing is interesting. I’ve always heard it’s at least 15% up to 18% as far back as I can remember. I think most servers would be insulted at 10%. But it’s definitely 15% as the lowest now and probably 20% is the norm. But if you have terrible service like your example, no tip is required and should not be expected. ✌🏻❤️

[@DianeJennings]

I'm glad you liked them! I'll meme more so

[@KimberlyGreen]

That might be a fun video for Diane ... US _regional_ etiquette differences / comparison. Folks in the Southeast and Southwest definitely have different ways that people in New England, for example.

[@joyc4467]

@@KimberlyGreen I agree! I think that would be a cool idea! My neighbors visited Maine a couple of years ago and the server told them they sure did say thank you a lot 😂

[@annelliott1384]

I’m fromthe Midwest and say “thanks” a lot too. I’ll be more careful to do so if I’m having a bad day and my body language is grumpy; I want to be sure they know that I’m having a bad day in general and that I’m not upset with them.

[@potatos_4_free]

There are resaurants (typically high-brow steakhouses) that DO consider it insulting to ask for sauce or seasonings here in the US. But steak is kind of a special exception here and putting sauce on a pricey cut can be a no-no some places.

[@Richie_P]

I used to do a lot of Uber driving. I never was really bothered by people sitting in the front seat, but as a practical matter, the back seat is better because then you can enter and exit the car on either side. It's really handy if you're getting dropped off on the left side of the street.

[@grumblesa10]

It is also a safety thing.

[@thaitom6410]

I recall that awful incident in southern Italy. I had settled down on the patio of a lovely restaurant, ordering penne with a lamb ragu topped with grated Calabrian cheese. When the meal arrived and I asked for salt and pepper the chef and head waiter almost immediately began convulsing on the floor, wailing so loudly that the entire village streamed together. I was stripped naked, tarred and feathered and driven down the village main road under the meanest of curses. I've never been back again. Never even paid my my bill. Nor did I leave a tip. Yet that's still nothing compared to what happened to me at a hotdog stand in NYC's Greenwich Village...

[@vickielawson3114]

Okay, Groucho! Funny story.

[@sue9378]

lol

[@MonumentToSin]

On a similar vein, I was out with friends in Italy and one girl didn't like her food. She didn't want to start a fuss though, so she said nothing and just ate off of others' plates. Well, the eagle-eyed chef noticed from the kitchen and came out with a different plate for her, free of charge. The girl tried to politely decline, but the chef threw a fit at the idea of someone leaving her restaurant unsatisfied!

[@Starving_Phoenix]

The not smiling at people you are serving blows my mind. At my service jobs, managers would always say "a smile is part of your uniform" and yes, I recognize that that puts a lot of pressure on service workers.

[@wyrdsis4302]

The gift thing is just because the giver wants to share in the moment with you and see your enjoyment of the gift. If you don’t like it, keep that to yourself. Lol. Can’t tell you how many sweater vests I got as a kid! 😅 Thanks, Grandma!

[@patty4349]

In the US the minimum wage for servers, and other tipped workers, can be as low as $2.15. That paltry wage is then taxed based on the ASUMPTION that the server received a certain tip for all tables they served. So, even if you don't tip the server they are taxed on what the government thinks you OUGHT to have tipped them! You also should take into account if the poor service is the fault of the server. If the food was poorly prepared, for example, it is the fault of the kitchen and punishing the server is unfair.

[@constatinexipalaeologus507]

I was just myself and never had many issues in the 9 European countries I've visited except paying the cleaner to use a public bathroom. In Switzerland 🇨🇭 we couldn't hang out our laundry on Sunday- why? In 1993 they didn't drink ice tea in November in Ireland or the UK. In several European countries they don't have breakfast, the UK and Ireland seemed an exception. Turkey no shoes inside, hmm my list seems to grow. Even state to state people do things differently.

[@x2y3a1j5]

I'm European. Would you mind telling which Euro countries do without breakfast?? That's absolutely weird for me!

[@redrick8900]

@@x2y3a1j5 Italy. Most of western Europe actually.

[@rafarequeni822]

Define "breakfast". If you mean, they don't have ham and cheese, two fried eggs and a dozen slices of bacon, then you're right. But nearly everyone eats something after getting up in the morning. Maybe is coffee and toasts, maybe cereals and fruit, maybe youghourt... but they do have what they call "breakfast". Another variation common around the mediterranean shores is having just one coffee after getting up, then what you'd call a brunch a couple hours later.

[@marisa768]

It's worth noting how even within the US, etiquette can differ greatly by region. I grew up in NJ (about a 2 hr. drive from NYC), where we're known to be much more blunt than people from outside the northeast. That's a way of being that I grew accustomed to. But when I moved to Tennessee for a nursing job, I had such a difficult time with what I interpreted as people being overly-friendly. The constant small talk was what bothered me most. I was so used to just going about my errands, and not feeling like I am forced to make small talk with all these people that just out of the blue try to strike up a conversation with me. It was a bit of culture shock that I never got used to. It almost felt like people were being fake nice, because I thought that no one is genuinely that friendly to all complete strangers enough to suddenly talk to them out of nowhere. Now I'm working in NYC and feel like I'm back in my etiquette comfort zone😂

[@popejaimie]

Wow that makes sense about the history of smiling and also I’ve heard Indonesia is famous for smiling and they also have a million languages there! I bet it’s the same thing!

[@kennethbosley1915]

Diane, as far as tipping is concerned, as long as I've been eating out (and I'm 64) it's been 20% for good service, 15% for adequate but not really decent service, 10% for the table staff at a buffet or for substandard service, 5% to express your dismay, and 0% if you just forget. The 5% for poor service says,"I remembered that a tip is customary, but the service you provided me was poor." At any rate, wait staff is usually paid minimum wage or below, and they make up the rest of their pay with tips, so good service is what they need to make their living.

[@figtree6356]

Lists are always so interesting, because there's so much wiggle room in a culture! I had fun with this one--thank you for posting it. As a southern American, my mother would roll over in her grave if I opened a gift in front of someone who'd just given it. I reluctantly do so when told explicitly to by the giver, but only then. I'm also a stickler for no shoes in my home, and it's a sticking point when my fiance brings someone over and doesn't ask them to remove their shoes at the door--I find it extremely impolite and unsanitary to wear street shoes beyond the front most room in a home. The weather here is always changing, and it's commonplace to step in mud at minimum, and even wilder things depending on where one is from!

[@joycejarrard6958]

There are regional differences in the US. My mother's parents both came from Ireland around 1903 from Kerry. But we grew up near Chicago, Illinois, which is a big melting pot of people from all over Europe and elsewhere. Most people are very direct. Forty some years ago, I moved to the US Southeast. This area was settled by Scotch and Irish, but most of the locals aren't that aware of those roots. I experienced significant culture shock moving here to North Carolina. People are much less direct here. It has taken me a long time to adjust.

[@VitriolicVermillion]

America is a big country, and I literally live and was born here, so when I see listicle videos, like the one you were watching, on the subject, I find I often raise an eyebrow, and find that they never do any kind of analysis, which is also frustrating. There are some axes that will usually be good indicators that attitudes may be regionally different, and you identified one of them: The east coast tends to be more traditional, as it is older, and the west coast tends to be more relaxed. This isn't, per se, a matter of "this coast is developed and this coast is not," but there is a difference in population density. Because there was a massive drive for westward expansion in our history, on the west coast, even in high-population, large cities like Los Angeles, the density is lower than in older east coast cities like New York, because it was all about staking the claim first, and making a big claim, rather than only taking what people were actually going to occupy. Additionally, there were differences in urban planning strategies at the time each city was built; while eastern cities predate the automobile, western cities are often built around them, with large areas dedicated to off-street parking. As a result, you can see a major difference in construction and zoning styles as well: The east coast will tend to make more use of verticality, while the west coast will have more sprawling single-story structures. These factors/influences mean that there will be differences in expectations of personal space and respect of that personal space. How this plays out for each individual person may vary, as people who have always expected to have a lot of personal space may be put off by other people being within it, or instead they may have a very good tolerance for people inside their personal bubble, because it is seldom encroached upon, and they will always have the option to retreat; on the other side, people may expect a certain amount of brushing elbows, as it's just a fact of life, or they may be a lot more touchy about the subject because their personal boundaries are always being encroached upon and they can't ever get away from it. In either type of place, what is considered the norm is going to be a matter of what most people feel, even if not everyone there agrees. The majority stance is going to vary from place to place, though, and I just can't take any "Americans think this way, not that way" videos, like the one you were watching, seriously. The other major axis, though, is the north/south divide, which is another axis across which there are some important historical differences to consider, perhaps even moreso than in the cast of the east/west divide. What we call "the north" and "the south" in the US can be a matter of latitude, or of attitude, but when it's in answer to the cultural question of whether a place is northern or southern (or neither), each state, no matter how big it is, even if it stretches nearly all the way from northern to southern border, that is considered one or the other is going to be considered *entirely* one or the other (funny how lines on a map have an unreasonable amount of power, huh?). The historical factors in question are based in whether the state economies, in the colonial era, and up until the mid-twentieth century, were centered on either agriculture or on manufacturing. This affected the centralization of labor, whether it was sparse and less centralized, or very tightly focused in the cities. This is a lot like the east/west divide, but there is one important and dark influence: The north was focused more on manufacturing because, being less equatorial in latitude, the growing seasons were shorter, so the the development of capitalism moved at a different pace, more akin to what happened in Europe. In the analysis of class and capital, we have to recognize that modes of production have historically changed, leading to changes in how powerful people employed labor. When production industrialized, feudalism (by its technical definition, not in terms of whether labor shared in the profitability of an enterprise) ended, and capitalism began (again, by its technical definition, not in terms of whether people who had money had more power than people who did not). One side effect of this was that holding slaves in industrialized economies became less profitable, and so many -- but certainly not all -- northern manufacturers did not see the benefit of holding slaves anymore. Meanwhile, in the south, with its longer growing seasons, sticking mostly to agriculture, was not quite so revolutionized (that is, changed; this is historical analysis of events and why they happened, not moral judgement of the fact that they did) by industry and capitalist modes of production until much later. So, in short, the north tended to be centered on manufacturing, with its labor populations focused in cities, living densely, while the south, centered on agriculture, had slave populations outside of cities. If nothing else, this means a general (not absolute) tendency to identify in the north with city living, and in the south with country living. It also means that the south can, in places, seem rather aristocratic, because the identities of working-class people (or slaves) were denied the right to influence what was perceived as "the" culture of the south. While it is certainly not my intention to say that the slaves never resisted -- because black resistance has a long and heroic history, actually -- it was in northern manufacturing labor that organized labor movements that we think of today were able to pick up speed early on. This has effects on whether we approve or disapprove of unionizing in the labor force. And finally, agriculture is traditionally seasonal work, while manufacturing generally doesn't care about the weather, so there are differences in the expected pace of living from one place to the next. The effects that "pace of living" can have on manners (whether smalltalk is okay, or whether we need to get down to business) are clearer and less individual than the influences on attitudes about personal space imparted by the difference in population density and automobile dependency across the aforementioned east/west axis, but even so, it's not absolute, because the south is not, today, entirely industrial, still having some agriculture, but also, they have cities just like the north does. Sorry, I just realized I used the phrase "in short" in there somewhere. I am SUCH a liar. Point is, we're a big country, and expecting a video like the one you watched to be telling you anything useful seems quite questionable. We've also got history -- and I know Europeans will laugh at that notion, but it's not about how long the history is, but whether we were at a formative stage in our development when certain events, like the industrial revolution, were unfolding. Then there's all the genocide.

[@johntrench]

Someday, when you return to the United States, go to some of the smaller cities and towns, away from the big cities, and try some of the small town diners. Actually try some of the non-chain diners in the big cities, as well. Some of them are mediocre, but you can find many gems that look like nothing when you walk into them, not at all impressive, but that will serve you food that will transport your taste buds to heights you have never dreamed of. Just a suggestion.

[@LSCBTHEWAVY]

I like how she has pure and utter intrigue to learning from a different cultures

[@bridgetbadeaux3582]

It seems that many younger people feel that you should tip regardless of the service. This is not the way it is traditionally. If the server isn't getting enough in tips to make minimum wage, the establishment is legally required to make up the difference. I usually tip generously (20% as a floor), but if you are bad enough I won't leave anything. It has been years since someone was that bad. We believe strongly in lines (queues). Cutting or skipping a line could cause a fight.

[@willgame4coffee]

I’m sure someone has probably touched on the questions regarding tipping in the U.S. Well tipping is kind of a mixed bag here, most people view tipping purely as bonus to the server, driver, nail tech, etc, but the truth is tipping is usually a way for an employer or equivalent to justify paying employees less. This is especially true in regards to service industry as that industry has its own separate minimum wage from the overall federal minimum wage, usually somewhere around $2.15-3 an hour. So systematically things have been designed require customers to directly pay a portion of the employees income while the employer is able to gain more profits.

[@Philistine47]

It's seldom necessary to ask whether a home you're entering is a "shoes house" or a "no shoes house" - if you see a bunch of shoes (on a rack or otherwise) right next to the door when you enter, it's probably a "no shoes house." If not, you're almost certainly safe to just walk in. If you're still in doubt, another big clue comes from quickly checking out your hosts' feet. If they're wearing shoes, you can as well; if they're not... well, it's possible that they're just being SUPER casual, but probably you should shuck your shoes. (This is even easier if you accompany them to their home, instead of meeting them there, and can watch as they either do or do not remove their shoes as soon as they walk inside.) Just a little tip for the other socially awkward people out there who find asking the question almost as embarrassing as making the wrong assumption.

[@DianeJennings]

Luv it

[@lisadime9411]

That may seem simple enough however, if I'm wearing sandals I do not wish to walk in my bare feet at someone's house. I can understand if there were slippers available to wear. I am not comfortable walking around in socks, I like slippers. I do not know how clean/dirty a persons floors are.