DID: Ways to Tell if Someone Is Switching, and a Safe Assumption to Make

[@catalystcomet]

"$100 reaction to a 5 cent problem" what a perfect metaphor. Also, what an absolutely gorgeous fern. Fairy lights are a beautiful touch.

[@FirefliesMulti]

I like the fern and also the wood fire place in the background.

[@michael62032]

OSDD is almost unbearable. I can't imagine losing time with DID. I am always aware of what a part has said or done, but I often don't realize I have switched until later. Sometimes I can feel the switch and think, Oh no, here we go. If I can't stop it, I end up watching from the back seat, trying to reach the steering wheel. Other times, I see myself doing something or feeling a '$100 emotion' and recognize it as a part. Then I realize I have been that part for 2 days. I am binge watching the CTAD Clinic videos and I appreciate yours. Very few talk about OSDD. I am trying to get my deeper parts to join therapy so they can process the trauma each one carries. I have a hard time listening to the parts talk to my therapist. They are so not me, yet they are me. It's incredibly complicated and confuses me to this day how this could have happened to me. I am 1 person with 6 voices. It's a nightmare.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Thank you for sharing, and I'm happy that both my videos and the CTAD clinic videos are helpful for you. It's so amazing how people have different experiences, yet a lot of common ground. I will be working on pulling together some ideas re OSDD. Stay tuned! 😊

[@abbiepancakeeater52]

This is actually more how I experience DID. I thought I had OSDD at first because I was unaware of my own amnesia and time loss, or what actually counted as time loss. It's possible you do actually lose time and just don't realize it, just so you can be aware. It's also just as valid if you don't, but it's something to keep in mind. I almost always know what's going on when we switch, and it usually takes a couple days for the amnesia to fully set in, now that I'm aware it is, in fact, amnesia. The amnesia for my childhood is the biggest red flag, though (which also counts for the amnesia diagnostic criteria in DID, if you weren't aware.)

[@annemurphy8074]

@@michael62032 Of course it's scary. We were terrified. We figured out we have D.I.D about 7 yrs ago then 2 yrs ago, we got a professional diagnosis. Our system has had hundreds of parts/alters.

[@MillieMoon2024]

​@abbiepancakeeater52 thanks so much for your comment...I was just wondering if you could explain a little more, if you're happy (or as much as you want!) about not knowing previously what counted as losing time for DID? I have OSDD but I'm aware that I have amnesia but I'm not always aware how that impacts, unless I really start charting my experiences and writing them down...I'd love to know what others experiences are of losing time... and also amnesia...

[@FirefliesMulti]

The losing time bit.. is so unbalancing. when someone tells you "I told you this last week" and you don't even remember. Tonight, I had to ask the husband if I'd already eaten dinner, as I laterally could not remember if any of my alters had eaten or not! heck I can't even always remember what day it is, or even what month! I can be driving along in the car, suddenly aware that I'm driving somewhere, and I have no idea where I'm suppose to be going! Usually because of this, we use the gps. so that if we switch, the gps is already pre programmed to our destination, even if we know the way there. It's just a failsafe if communication breaks down between the alters. I have parcels arrive that I guess someone ordered from TEMRU or Aliexpress, no idea which part ordered it or even what it is until I open it up. Do you get use to it?.......... somewhat, but no, not really. I still get surprised, when I realize I've lost time.

[@desireewelvaert494]

Thank you for saying that switching can be very subtle. When I see people on the internet say they are going to switch ..and it's always a big ' tadoo'...people who know my system say to us: "You don't ever switch around us." Then sometimes we ask why they said that...and it's because they do not see a bigger tadoo circus act when our alters front.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Yes. I can see it in people's eyes, even if there hasn't been a switch. You can see the parts right there, beneath the surface.

[@enoch4499]

Covert vs overt. DissociaDID talks about this and really breaks down the workings of dissociation, often mentioning aspects like covert vs overt, which I like because repetition is a great way to learn and REMEMBER what's learned. I think their content is quite helpful for family and friends of systems because of this.

[@feistyphoenix]

Thank you for taking on this subject!! 🙏 When thinking about the subtleties of switching or what I experience as co-awareness, it has been helpful to remember that the whole purpose of the system of parts is to remain undetectable by the outside world. The point of the system is to remain secret and protect the secrets each part holds. I have been aware of my parts and doing parts work using different treatment modalities and therapists for several decades. I have found that the more love and acceptance I can give each part the more they are willing to cooperate and cohabitate for our highest good. In addition, the more calm I can keep my nervous system the less they each feel the need to be independently active. Peace love and healing to my fellow DID/OSDD travelers ❤❤❤

[@mustachedmalarkey8838]

I have DID, and my friends that know some of my alters will still say "I thought maybe you had switched but I didn't want to assume..." and I tell them it's okay to assume, feel free to, but they're still anxious about it. Some of my alters are very obviously different and they don't mind being recognized, but I don't get why my friends are still so hesitant with this. I wonder if they're afraid? It would be helpful if they did name parts when they see them because I have amnesia and do not always know they're fronting.

[@kristinhadley2814]

You seem to really know what you’re talking about. I enjoy the videos. Thank you!

[@melissasimmons8019]

This is a good reminder for me to talk to my kids again. Sometimes we forget that even though we went over this a while ago, it’s good to talk about it again. The signs ect.. I definitely don’t react the way one”should” and it can be switching, ect.. thank you so much.

[@astraluna555]

I have DID and I’m an objective clairvoyant. It’s very overwhelming. I have a hard time believing I have it because I’m high functioning. I’ll switch in therapy and then deny it because it doesn’t seem as noticeable to me. I just can’t fully accept it 😢 but my therapist keeps affirming I have it. Now I have a full spontaneous awakening on top of having DID. And I have beings in my place and I had an investigator see them ( I also film the orbs everyday and bring the videos to therapy so I am not delusional) and I have a meeting with a consciousness expert coming up. So to have a mental health condition and be clairvoyant is challenging and I get afraid that people won’t believe me but my therapist does and so does the investigator.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Thanks for bringing up an important topic! In the mental health world, "derealization" is a concept to describe feelings of one's environment/experience shifting and distorting. But if you add spiritual experiences, that becomes even more complicated! Once again, the mental health field usually doesn't recognize the spiritual so much. Sounds like you feel supported in both realms with your therapist and your investigator. And once again, you're not alone, even with the multiple things you have going on! My personal theory is that people with DID almost all have had such extreme abusive experiences, sometimes very close to death. As children, being so close to death can open up that "veil" to the other side. Hence, they don't lose that connection in life, that other people don't have as strongly or clearly. I have clients with this kind of history who can see/feel things in my office that I can't. But it's spiritual, NOT psychosis. I hope your upcoming meeting is helpful for you!

[@astraluna555]

@@colleenjohnston1678thank you for responding❤ this makes a lot of sense. the parapsychologist said I was handling it well! But said the experience with the beings can take a while to integrate. I still get overwhelmed and scared sometimes but other parts play with them. It’s a lot to digest. The medium said they are higher vibrational beings so the energy is intense but I’m learning to ground and do normal things. I just try to keep things calm and set designated times to interact. Trying to stay thankful this is a blessings in many ways the beings do stir up alot of emotional stuff. I think they’re trying to connect me to the body emotions and earth. I’m definitely crying and laughing and getting angry a lot more I feel like I’m thawing out. There was so much fear being in the body but I’m getting used to being present more and more.

[@FirefliesMulti]

1:39 When you say "usually..." does this mean there is exceptions to this? Can people get DID in situations where it's not so usual? Can you explain what you mean by "trauma time" vs 20/24 time? I think I know what you mean... I think you mean that the $100 reaction to the 5 cent problem, was in fight flight mode, during trauma memory mode, rather than present mode? But our BIG question is... right now we are hyper switching. Literally switching every few minutes at times, or every hour. it's exhausting. It started with a trigger word someone said to us, and it's upset the balance of the system, and the only way to describe it is, 'the switchboard is broken' Our system does not have a "gate keeper' alter. we just have a switchboard and it's going psycho, causing us to switch too often and when not needed as every alter seems to be fired up and active. sometimes we have three or four alters trying to front or even being at the front at the same time. constant headaches, so tired, yet cant' sleep because, there is too much switching. How do I make it stop!!!! I can't seem to ground myself and slow it down. The switchboard, is just broken!

[@AspenColony5647]

I'm working with my therapist right now, and we're fairly certain i have OSDD. I have completely seperate emotional states when i get really stressed, I can look back on them and say it's not me. I exist in the present. Even the times when i know it was me, the memory still feels distant, dreamy. Even if it's a memory of the day before. I do have a question though. Have you ever worked with systems who communicate through mirrors/found out they were a system through mirrors? The first time I was fully aware of a switch it was because of the mirror no longer looking like me, and things escalated from there. The mirrors and shadows feel like different presences that can be insanely threatening/feel like they want out, or really scared or very cold and unfeeling, etc. I am now aware that was some of our alters (if I'm allowed to call them that without a diagnosis) fighting over whether or not i should be aware of everyone's existence. I call it the Mirror War, it lasted for at least 4-5 months. I know the names of about 20 of them, but because it's only been a few weeks since i became fully aware, I'm scared that I'm somehow subconsciously making it all up, because it doesn't feel like i should have been able to learn it that fast. I do have a friend who is a diagnosed OSDD system and we definitely have different experiences.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Hi "hufflepuff"! Thanks for your comment. Such a great question about the mirror experience. Lends to the whole "Depersonalization" topic...where it feels like you're not you, basically. Yes, I know systems where parts very much are not impressed with being "trapped" in that body in the mirror. To give you hope, I also work with those same systems where things calm down, and there can be some inter-communication and understanding between parts and the person with the body! Quite a thing, isn't it? For what it's worth, I know my DID folks would totally embrace and relate to what you bring up here. 😊

[@katiereynolds1109]

Hello, I just found your channel today. Ive been in counseling 8 years and just before 2020 lockdown we discussed that I have DID. My switches do very quite a bit and so has my level of awareness. Sometimes my switches feel like the old tv show Quantum Leap and other times theyre barely noticeable .

[@colleenjohnston1678]

@@katiereynolds1109 welcome!! Hope you find my content helpful and the comments from people interesting!

[@willow6726]

I really enjoy your content. Thank you for this! Im about 6 months in with DID diagnosis. Love your book by the way! 💜

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Thank you and I really appreciate you reading my book! 🦋

[@jaykaytherapy]

I can't find a practitioner that works with DID. That's not true, but I can't find one that works with DID as I'm used to. I have DID and the last 2 years have been spent trying to deal with trauma that happened in therapy (2 abrupt terminations). My insiders are in hiding. I can feel them but it's not the real deep work. I have therapists that either ignore the dissociation and I'm not functional upon leaving or those that immediately try to ground and "stop" it. Neither are helpful. We just want to be accepted and heard. Trying to do IFS but parts feel invalidated by the process. I just don't know what to do anymore. I NEED therapy for my family.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Hi and thanks for being here! It is indeed difficult to find a good fit with a therapist. And just so you know you're not alone, when working with DID, to refer to different "people" as parts can be off-putting. Sometimes we don't use that IFS language, and instead call the personalities by the names they prefer. Each situation is different and we are respectful.

[@shamalow1819]

When i switch or dissociate my gf can nearly always tell, sometime even before I even realise it myself if I do at all

[@deborahanne675]

Dear Colleen, thank you for your compassionate informative KZbin videos. I am recently Dx’d with DID and still have a lot of confusion. I’m wondering if you could tell us more about the difference between DID ‘parts’ and ‘parts’ that are worked with in IFS with non DID clients. What differentiates DID parts and IFS parts? I understand there would be significant history of trauma in DID clients. I’m asking because I struggle with questioning whether my parts are actually DID parts (despite the diagnosis) or regular inner child/ family system parts like with those with no history of trauma. (I am aware IFS therapy can be used with both). I hope I’ve made sense. Thank you. Debs.x

[@colleenjohnston1678]

@deborahanne675 hi Deborah! I really appreciate your excellent, insightful question. I will definitely make a video to address this question, according to my experience and training. Stay tuned! 😊

[@deborahanne675]

@@colleenjohnston1678Thank you, much appreciated. Will stay tuned. Thank you Colleen. ☺️🙏

[@deborahanne675]

Thank you so much for this Colleen. This all makes sense to me. X. 🙏

[@Wonder0952]

I follow your videos.Thank you for all the information you share with us. I was wondering a couple of things. If all of our parts hear and are always listening why cannot I know what’s happening when another part is out. Why don’t I hear? My other question is since you have experience with others like us, what does it look like from those on the other side of effective therapy and healing? I realize we will always be our own unique system. But what can it look like. I think we are looking for hope. Thank you and God bless you for helping.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Thank you for your great questions and kind feedback! In response to your first question, we want to assume they're listening, yet that doesn't mean they all hear all the time. It's kinda like, it's good practice when we're talking about other people, to imagine they're listening. That helps us be more respectful. To answer the 2nd question, my observation is some people grow so much after a few years (yep!) of effective therapy, they feel more compassion, humor, and understanding towards their parts. They grow insight and have better tools to use if parts act out, or are afraid, etc. As one of my amazing clients recently said, "If my parts act out, it tells me somebody feels they're not being listened to. Somebody needs some time!" It is also about acceptance, and realizing sometimes it is just going to be loud in there, or chaotic, or whatever the upset (or eerie silence) may be! Hope these thoughts give you your own sense of hope and appreciation for yourself and your system. 😊

[@Wonder0952]

Thank you for your explanations. I really very much wish that all of us out here with dissociative problems had access to quality care. Everyone who has had such trauma and now have to deal with dissociative disorders deserve care. Thank you for all you do.

[@Deborah-qw6dv]

The more I'm finding out about DID and how much I am experiencing it, like everything is explaining me, exactly.. the more scared I am. 😓 I keep denying it, though. But honestly, I’ve been in therapy mostly on than off in the last 8 1/2 years, on my 4th therapist because the 1st passed away, the 2nd ended therapy when covid happened, the 3rd quit the practice after only 4 months. Now ive been with my 4th therapist for 8 months now, and finally, she is reading me right, and just started trusting and opening up about things. I'm scared she'll send me to someone else if she feels she can't help. In these past 8 1/2 years I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline, PTSD unspecified, major depression w/ psychosis, anxiety, panic attacks, and ive had multiple chronic illnesses since my middle 20's. I have lived a ridiculous amount of abuse & trauma. I was born the only girl of triplets with our mother being diagnosed with schizophrenia shortly after we were born, also have an older sister who just turned 4 when we were born. Does anyone know if denying and feeling like you don’t have this but then all the symptoms continue to prove you wrong.. that this really is your experience? It all is just confusing.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

My heart goes out to you, Deborah. I hope your work with your current therapist continues to go well. You mentioned BPD...I just made a new video yesterday on that topic. I hope if you watch that, it will help you understand how trauma is a causative factor in the symptoms of BPD, and I also give ways to help heal! Wishing you much healing on your journey. Thanks for being here!

[@Deborah-qw6dv]

Thank you, Colleen, for your reply and understanding. I will watch the BPD video.. but my BPD diagnosis was given when I first started therapy and has been removed 3 years ago. Every therapist I've been with always had a psychiatrist that was working collaboratively with my therapy process. I've been told that the BPD was a misdiagnosis, that I do not even have traits of it.. that it's simply trauma, and that during the therapy process we can all show signs of multiple types of mental illnesses. But, like I said, my new therapist is more in tune with me than any other therapist I've had. I'm thankful for her, and I hope things continue to go well. I've done so much growth in these past almost 9 years, and I want to continue to heal as best I can with what it all is. So, thanks so much for putting all of your experience out there for all of us, it really helps so much. Take care! ❤

[@catalystcomet]

I would love to hear more about OSDD if you know much about it. I'm still working with my therapist to figure out my specific situation, but it's been very valuable for me to hear about the spectrum of dissociation. It seems like, according to most of what I see here on KZbin, DID is always very well-formed, independent 'people', not just personalities. Not sure if you know what I mean by that. But it seems like OSDD is not quite so fully formed. Of course I feel like a lot of what is here on KZbin is absolute trash. I thought I knew about dissociation and associative disorders, I was always kind of interested and I watched many hours worth of clinical psychologists discuss it. Imagine my shock... Anyways, I'm only about 2 (or three?) months into being aware of my personal experience, but I just never would have known that I had such intense levels of dissociation. For example, they often say that depersonalization feels like you're detached from your body. Well it wasn't until about 3 (or four?) months ago that my husband touched my face and I felt it. I felt it as if I was inside of my body. I cannot describe the wonderment, but it was the key piece to understanding what I had been going through. But see, There's no way I ever would have understood "depersonalization feels like being outside of your body", because that was all I had ever felt. My entire life I had never experienced being *in* my body. So it doesn't matter how many clinical psychologists repeat the same words over and over again, it's not going to make sense for those of us that have never experienced life any other way. Now, I often compare it to living in a house next door to my own, and getting all of my information through a tin can on a string, while everyone else is actually living in their house. I cannot describe the absolute mind f**k that resulted from understanding that other people live every day like that. Other people just, they just feel and experience things like that all the time! I remain speechless trying to conjure the words that might do it justice. On a personal note, hugging my children, really actually hugging my children for the first time and *feeling* it was the most incredibly beautiful thing I've ever felt. I still get tears on my eyes thinking about it. I'm new at it, I've only had a handful of times fully in my body, but it's the thing that keeps me brave. Anyway, I would love to hear about OSDD. Nobody I've found really talks about it except for the CTAD clinic. And also, thank you. I think I only follow two or three people here when it comes to dissociation and I'm grateful that you're one of them.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Thank you for your thoughts. You're in good company re wanting more info on OSDD. I will definitely give it some thought and reflect in a video in the future. 😊

[@whimsylore]

Check out @TheRingsSystem and @GianuSystem here on KZbin for some good OSDD resources, examples, advice. :)

[@crazy1comics605]

I too would like more information about OSDD. Even after 3 years in therapy, I struggle with understanding and managing personality shifts - there's generally a delay of anything from hours to days before I realise I'm now looking at the world differently and this is very frustrating and problematic. I hate this.

[@MillieMoon2024]

All the people replying who have OSDD - I'm in tears here because you're all speaking my language...I could have written the majority of the posts here! I too would be really grateful for more info on OSDD in general... on shifting emotional states/ personality states, how others define parts of themselves which aren't as obvious or easily definable as DID, and how to recognise if, when and how you're switching... and the subtle ways in which amnesia plays out... that sounds very demanding and alot! We really appreciate your work @colleen 😊... thank you

[@christophernash8166]

My ex girlfriend had DID. We were in love, but when she got activated, she fled and broke up with me. She was a great person.

[@juliecarl1649]

I have a question. I have been diagnosed with DID--not a new diagnosis. I was with the same therapist for almost 6 years. She is retiring and I have a new therapist who we like. I have had 3 sessions so far. My mind just shuts down in therapy and it takes a minute or so for me to get my thoughts together. Is that normal? It's incredibly frustrating!

[@colleenjohnston1678]

Thanks for your question. I would guess that the transition to a new therapist may take a little time for you to adjust. I encourage you to talk with her about what you're experiencing. 💜

[@sr2291]

Where does a person get real therapy?

[@colleenjohnston1678]

I recommend finding a therapist who is trained and practicing EMDR therapy (EMDRIA approved) and also trained in structural dissociation.

[@sr2291]

@@colleenjohnston1678 I have DID. EMDR makes me feel like I am back with my abuser. Thanks for comenting.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

@sr2291 good point... Even though I don't actually do EMDR therapy with people with DID often, the framework is helpful. I recommended to look for that training in a therapist, to help ensure they would have experience with understanding dissociation. Also, some people with DID reap benefits from EMDR therapy if we go very slow and use a different protocol from standard. Thanks for bringing up an important topic and sharing!

[@maggie0285]

I was diagnosed DID decades ago. I have seen how the criteria has changed over the years. I can't quite put my finger on it but if I were your client I don't think we would work well together. I've noticed lots of therapists are incorporating IFS lingo into the DID conversation. You also seem like a person who makes lots of assumptions. You see switching because you want to see it. Just because someone talks a certain way doesn't mean they are switching because YOU say so. I would find working with you very confusing because you would be suggesting things. I do not believe in any diagnosis. I believe in trauma and I believe people cope the best way they know how. My voice always gets drowned out by the therapy worshippers. Since I made the commitment to never see a therapist I finally have permission to be myself. There is no such thing either that a "part" can be near the front or that other parts are listening. People are whole and should be treated as such. My last final therapist said she sensed "a masculine protector part" near the front. I was highly offended because I see myself as very feminine. She would tell me I was switching when I knew she was full of BS. I feel sorry for anyone that's buying into this. Doing so is a wasted life

[@3six9_eye_am]

Why do doctors only want to cover D.I.D. oh yeah cause it's currently trendy to fake D.i.D. and you gett lots of views while enabling and encouraging the stigmazation of a RARE mentalness.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

My experience is many professionals (Drs and therapists) have not been recognizing DID over the years. And yes, I've heard that there is a lot of attention seeking out there. However, if you know, you know. And hopefully, to find your "tribe" or even one safe person is a huge help.

[@colleenjohnston1678]

And I don't know how rare it is...just under-recognized and not understood

[@Standridge.Learning]

It must be rare. I have never met (in person) anyone else with DID. Want to know how many people our therapist is treating with a DID diagnosis? A total of one (unless you include our parts, then it's thirteen). So, I agree with 396iam5, it's rare and it trendy. Unfortunately, people fake a lot of things these days because it's trendy to do so and that's frustrating. But I am very glad that there are still a few good people out there who care and want to help. Thank you Colleen for sharing your experiences and advice. Thank you 369im5 for speaking out for us.

[@mae_synodic]

@@Standridge.Learning​​⁠ you think because you’ve not knowingly met someone with DID/OSDD and that your therapist is treating one client with DID/OSDD that it’s rare? that makes no sense and is a really, really problematic opinion not only is it a covert disorder with high comorbidity rates (under-diagnosed due to how many issues one can have, but also because of how little training non-specialist clinicians have on it) but to think any medical treatment in general is always accessible (especially for a highly complex and stigmatised condition) is incredibly bigoted for so many reasons we’re lucky enough to have a therapist who treats quite a few patients with DID/OSDD, and has treated even more over the years due to her time in the field - does this mean it’s extremely common? not at all it’s an uncommon disorder, but also we’re learning more about it in the last 5-10 years than ever, hence it becoming “popular” to be diagnosed with it’s just like current rates of autism diagnosis’s, it has more than doubled in the last 10 years because of broader research being done, particularly on minorities, more people are now trained to recognise and treat it, as well as in general many late diagnosed people playing catch up, so yes the statistics show it being more “popular” of a diagnosis ideally DID/OSDD will become less stigmatised and the training to recognise and treat it will continue to become more widespread and accessible, that is a very positive thing and live changing for many people if you think dissociative disorders have become sort of fad you are part of the problem where this disorder is difficult to diagnose sooner, and why it’s so stigmatised so what if some people want to fake having a disorder? eventually they will get theirs or get bored, they are a minority compared to the thousands of people whom are seeking treatment or doing their own research to then seek treatment the tests are built to weed out malingerers as well as clinicians are trained to assess that possibility in the interviewing stage, just let clinicians do their jobs, in all honesty they were educated on the disorders and have seen lots of varied presentations, i am sure

[@missmagillicutty6721]

When my 8 year old little found out that my grandparents had died, it was like i had waterfalls for eyes. It was painful and beautiful. 🥲