Disgusting DM Forces His Players to Listen to... oh god (+ More) - RPG Horror Stories

[@CrispysTavern]

*Download Opera GX* mtchm.de/555zj Get an unparalleled gaming and browsing experience on mobile and desktop. Set limits on CPU, RAM, and Network usage, use Discord & Twitch from the sidebar, and connect mobile and desktop browsers with the file-sharing Flow feature.

[@Gurgelito]

IN 988a

[@supercharliegalaxy]

Listen I'm fat and tall....I am surprisingly sneaky. My brother once said "Charlie is the only person who can sneak up infront of you!" cause I accidently spooked him one day approaching him from the front. XD

[@360entertainment2]

I’m in the same boat, I’m 6’1” and my average weight is usually between 280 and 300 but I’m also crazy sneaky and surprisingly flexible. I’m gonna take a wild guess that the DM was just basing things off his “personal experience” if you know what I mean!”

[@SeventhGod77]

I’m a big fella too, I just step softly as a habit and people just… don’t notice me. Like I’m a wonderfully under-noticed person. I feel bad about it too because I don’t mean to scare people but I don’t want to interrupt what they’re doing and can wait a second and then they see me and jump.

[@supercharliegalaxy]

@@SeventhGod77 I always get a good giggle lol

[@alarkhar]

Note: a katana was a decent blade, but the problem was that Japan was severely lacking in decent quality steel, meaning that the average katana, even when crafted by a master crafter, was quite easy to break. There IS a reason why the common weapon for law enforcers in feudal japan was a Jitte - a sword breaker...

[@brushdogart]

Thanks to both of you for knowing your history. The real wonder of katanas is that the weapon makers could make anything useful out of the horribly low quality iron they had to work with. I'd also like to note that good metal was so difficult to come by in Japan that armor was mostly made of thin plates of metal over a far thicker layer of heavily lacquered wood. Usually these plates would be held together with silk thread instead of the rivets you would find in European armor. You didn't need the sort of big, hefty blades that were used in Europe to get through Japanese armor. If I recall correctly, the import of European blades was actually banned in Japan at one point because they simply gave far too great an advantage to their wielder. There are rumors that some wealthy individuals got partially around the ban by smuggling in the higher quality metal and then forging Japanese style weapons out of it.

[@TearDownGenesis]

Its also not "Light" its surprisingly heavy compared to weapons of similar length. Its also not long for a two handed blades. The weren't "easy to break" inherently. It depends on the steel used. Higher carbon makes it sharper but more brittle. Lower carbon makes it more dull but more flexible. The Jitte was used because bladed weapons were banned in most places unless you're a samurai, guards were no exception. Jitte is used to catch weapons in general. In addition it was much shorter than a katana so it was easier to move with. Its like carrying a handgun instead of a rifle around down. A rifle is great for war but not practical for around town.

[@clarehidalgo]

The bladed edge is razor sharp but fragile like glass even with higher quality metal, while the spine is thicker and more flexible, capable of taking hits. You'd never hit the blade into another blade like in anime at best you'd chip the blade a little, if you had a lesser quality blade it would break. The thicker spine is where most contact between weapons happens

[@clarehidalgo]

​@@TearDownGenesis Yeah, a 39in Katana weighs about the same as a 45in German longsword. A katana's blade is shorter, though the hilt or tsuka tends to be longer on average that the European longsword.

[@Kevinblue035]

@@TearDownGenesis i think in a ttrpg i'd just make the agument that they have access to strong fantasy metals so a katana would have the same stat as a similarly sized regular sword or dagger, and a jitte would be a club with the disarming property

[@AuntLoopy123]

"We do things differently here." "So, here, a warlock does divine magic, and a druid does arcane?"

[@snorpenbass4196]

Divine Pact Warlocks are glaring at you in 5E...

[@Turtle-Melon]

It is weird that the druid (a class that was described as okay if suspect in the world) was getting bullied by the warlock (a class that is often memed as being unholy occult casters) for being a witch

[@CooperAATE]

​@snorpenbass4196 interestingly, even the Celestial warlock is still using Arcane magic to cast... Guiding Bolt and Mass Cure Wounds...? Lol

[@dougmartin2007]

For the Winona Ryder Story, It seems abusers/bullies want to jump on new people right away. If you say "I don't need this" and leave, that is okay for them. They don't want to wait for you to get invested and be willing to stand up to them. They will have some disguised confessions if called on it. "I wanted to make sure they were our kind of people." or "I wanted to make sure they could take a joke." Both translate to "I wanted to see if they would take my abuse."

[@360entertainment2]

It’s always fun and games until the victim retaliates, then it becomes an issue!

[@dragonfire5000]

As someone who played several playthroughs of Sekiro, I can attest that katanas can do that much damage...but only when an enemy is using it on you.

[@darklord884]

Or when you git gud. In that case it can actually do more.

[@PainfulJoy]

It can do way more damage than that in Elden Ring, especially if its called "Rivers of Blood".

[@KertaDrake]

Katanas: The weapon that either lets you split the stars in the sky or lets you snap it in half due to your character being too dumb to know how to use one.

[@alarkhar]

Basically the sword equivalent to Magus in Chrono Trigger... as an enemy, he can one shot your team, but when he joins he's "meh".

[@schibleh531]

@@darklord884 A guy called dark lord telling someone to git gud at sekiro.

[@ShyBiiteVT]

I heard that Winona Ryder story before and I couldn't bear listening to it a second time. That group needs to be put on a D&D blacklist so no one will fall into their shit.

[@KingKryptify]

I've decided, my paladin doesn't have disadvantage on stealth checks because of his chain mail, it's because he's so dummy thicc his ass cheeks clapping alerts his enemies to his presence

[@brentashworth]

If I was your DM, and you wanted to make this true, i'd grant you the thunderclap cantrip but in a ten foot cone emanating 10 feet behind you.

[@CryselleSilverwynd]

On the last story, the missing thing is the consent of the other people in the session. If a bunch of adults get together and all agree to a campaign featuring some hot and heavy action, ERP your hearts out. It can be a great time if everyone is into it. But if you DON'T have the consent of everyone involved (and someone part of that session is involved if they have to listen to it!), then you fade to black and if you want to RP it out between yourselves you do so in a private chat later. Forcing a sexual scenario on unconsenting people is never, ever, EVER, acceptable behavior. And 'new DM' is not even an excuse, consent is a basic human decency issue, not something you should need to read out of the DMG.

[@andrejg4136]

Some people really do have a total inability to listen to someone saying 'no' when it comes to something they want to do. The sense of entitlement and selfishness never ceases to surprise me out of certain others.

[@jblask2]

As somone who else who coincidentally played a warlock named Winona Ryder, I feel super offended by that awful player.

[@ZorotheGallade]

"You are casting unholy magic" said the individual who entered a pact with an eldritch entity to obtain magical powers.

[@QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM---0]

paladin behavior

[@MrWD-tp7oc]

When Crispy is already disgusted in the title, you know it's going to be a wild ride

[@Yoxiv]

Crispy: Get a room! That last DM: And some chairs and popcorn!

[@BrookeA12]

Similar to the story about the fat firbolg, I also play a fat firbolg barbarian. I’m just glad the other players are cool about it, they’ve jabbed at him a few times for his weight but that includes his immense height and muscle mass, but everyone also considers him the manliest dude in our party of guys, and we’re all able to make jokes about him having huge honkers.

[@heerow6]

I was going to "re-skin" a long sword as a katana for one of my players that wants one. Literally just change the name of the weapon.

[@Orudaiken]

Exactly! DMG even offers plenty of weapons that are easily reskinned. Easy to have faction specific weapons that are easy to understand.

[@MagnusTonitrum117]

did that with a random character I made, Yasumaru, a Lizardfolk samurai

[@RiveroftheWither]

For a mystic I'm playing me and my dm made him a bladed fan. We made it into 4 re-skinned throwing knives with finesse. He has a -1 in strength so the finesse was the only thing I was adamant on. We're both satisfied

[@zarnex_xiii]

I literally do this when I want to use a similar weapon type

[@grandmaster125]

The description for Monk Weapons in the PHB outright states that weapons can be slightly different than the name implies, like saying a "Club" may actually be nunchaku, or altering a "Sickle" into a kama.

[@gabrielmajere8852]

Regarding the character that got disadvantages because of being fat, it's quite normal for bigger people to still move with ease. The most immediate example I can think of is The Mountain from Game of Thrones.

[@CrispysTavern]

Hafthor is the actor who plays him and he is a pretty quick dude. It’s terrifying. I mean it would be. If he wasn’t the sweetest dude ever.

[@StudlyFudd13]

@@CrispysTavern There's a video I saw on youtube of a heavier man, quite overweight, break dancing. Quite well might I add! It's it realistic for the dude to be a star athlete that never tires and is a mary sue? No...but good lord....fat people do not shake the fucking ground with every step.

[@tamar7065]

It's definitely a thing. I noticed a few years ago that I routinely startle people in public because they didn't know I was there, and I've always been fat. Meanwhile some people who are smaller than I am shake the cabinets when they walk. It's more about your form when walking than how much you're lugging around. I'd also think "fatness" in the context of a fantasy adventurer would end up being a totally different body condition than "fatness" in the context of e.g. myself (your average modern American game nerd.) One of those settings demands a layer of muscle beneath the fat or that person wouldn't be able to travel all day and fight on a regular basis. The other not so much. Completely different environment.

[@SuperBatSpider]

I made a fat PC. A Tibaxi Arificer, being a scientist who sits down mixing chemicals all day she’s not athletic. As she has white fur she’s considered a big fluffy marshmallow. I don’t have mechanical disadvantages, she’s just kinda insulted by nobles which I feel perfectly fine with.

[@SuperBatSpider]

@@BlueTressym A Kobold was an asshole but didn’t attack so she gave him a piggyback ride and made the DM give him both a name and side quest

[@GameAlicornLuna]

'I SUMMON 16 GIANT SNAKES!' is a card I hope they make in Yu-Gi-Oh or Magic.

[@andrejg4136]

Snake Rain is one of those cards that is sometimes blamed for Reptile Monster-based archetypes being meh.

[@strangevol5264]

@@andrejg4136But also part of the reason that we have the ReptPile.

[@ZorotheGallade]

The guy in the Westmarches story really is something else. Testing a human's patience is bad enough, but breaking a Discord bot is even bigger.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 - WTAF? Druid suddenly forced into a Monty Python-esque witch hunt and then enduring homophobia. This group sucks. I hope these people step on lego bricks.

[@Persholm1]

I would say "that's a bit harsh", but then I remember the story.

[@AlexThePyroshark]

At least the Druid could have turned himself into a duck, the final test would have left everyone stumped.

[@christianknight1649]

The Winona Ryder guy is totally in the closet and afraid of his dad finding out.

[@bellumdorf3360]

why lego bricks when you have perfectly good caltrops(D4s) at your desposal, all joking aside, I would advise against this(partially because it's a waste of dice)

[@MajorMasonGaming]

Dig his eyes out and a needle on each of his fingers would do the trick

[@thomascripe9905]

All right it's coming straight from a bodybuilder: "fat shaving is not cool."oh my god, this is probably the hardest talk to text has screwed me all year. It was supposed to be fat shaming I swear.

[@ShyBiiteVT]

What is "fat shaving"?

[@dungeonslug5244]

Hey I'm a fat guy and I'm not trying to be cool...I just wanna shave.

[@linda-0587]

Weight loss…maybe? Or using a Razor to “shave” the fat off?

[@thomascripe9905]

@@linda-0587 you think you've lived down every embarrassing thing you've ever done but then here comes responses to your KZbin comment history to keep you humble

[@realrealwarpet]

Its true. Dont shave me bro.

[@KertaDrake]

Should have just smashed the berries and said "Fine, you all starve. I'm outta here!"

[@astralguardian5930]

First big story: At least OP mentioned it themselves but I was surprised the Warlock wasn't discriminated themselves for having magic as well. But goes to show how biased the DM was in their actions.

[@360entertainment2]

That’s just a level of hypocrisy that I find amusing. This guy who’s literally playing a Warlock having the gull to start a witch hunt while spamming a broken version of eldritch blast just feels to me like they wanted someone to kick around!

[@MyBubbleInSpace]

Oh yeah, the druid is totally a witch, but the WARLOCK is obviously completely innocent. 🤦‍♂️

[@froyothewolf]

If you're gonna emphasize fatness on a firbolg to the point of disadvantage on all DEX checks, then he should have advantage on all STR checks, because clearly he has more weight to throw around. As you stated in the video: balance it. (or, ya know, ask the player if that's something they even WANT focused on, like a good DM)

[@gamerbun866]

... actually Crispy, that DOES sound like a fun warlock. I fully endorse you rolling Momlock.

[@starbird3939]

Story 3 When someone is pushy about their shit, including trying to jump the line in reviewing homebrew-it is a red flag that this dude is not only gonna push a broken homebrew, but that he will also be a problem player.

[@dashiellgillingham4579]

Bro, you just run anthro dragons as dragonborn. That's what they're there for. They were specifically made up to accommodate the number of early D&D players who homebrewed dragon-humanoids. If you need the wings and that's some kind of dealbreaker, you go dragonblood sorcerer and grow a pair. Or you just say you have vestigial wings that do not allow you to fly.

[@hansen-interpol-tips]

... could you also theoretically become a very powerful artificer and make your own? Sorry I am getting back into D& D and learning 5E but I am also captivated by this idea of a Dragonborn learning to make their own wings for the symbolism lol.

[@MagnusTonitrum117]

I dunno why people just make stupidly overpowered homebrew weapons, you can flavor any standard weapon as another weapon for my Dragonborn Barbarian, Teh-Lah-Loq, I renamed and changed the appearance of his greatsword to be a macuahuitl, a Mesoamerican sword-club, and worked it into his tribe’s backstory

[@marcusreading3783]

Oh, now that is genuinely cool! Its so rare to see anything using mesoamerican style in fantasy and I dont know why because their aesthetic is AWESOME!

[@johnoneil9188]

Oh, that´s the one with the obsidian teeth. Those are rad.

[@gorvarhadgarson5227]

I turned a club into a bokken, wooden katana, for my orc druid.

[@MagnusTonitrum117]

@@marcusreading3783 Lizardmen from Warhammer Fantasy and Argonians have that Aztec vibe, especially in their weaponry (look no further than the Argonian greatsword from ESO), which is totally fine by me, fucken love reptiles (also half Mexican)

[@MagnusTonitrum117]

@@johnoneil9188 I remember in a ‘how do you want to do this’ moment I split an Orc’s head open with it

[@insertedgynamehere]

Katanas are neither light nor long. They are shorter than an actual long sword, and for something so small, is surprisingly heavy. The word also in the two hands thing implies that they were intended to be used one handed, they weren't

[@Kairos_Akuma]

It depends on the "Type" given that most People just use "Katana" as a Term for every Japanese sword.. But things, like a Nodachi are as long as a Longsword.

[@hayhay509]

kinda similar to that last story- the first time i played D&D any time there would have been a "fade to black" moment, i was asked to cover my ears or i would just leave the table. it happened enough that the DM started having my character wander off as a que for me to leave the table. however there was a player who just... kinda liked being a perv and everyone thought it was funny. so even after the scene had ended and i could come back, he would drag the DM's attention back to whatever he was doing. the event that sticks to my mind is when his character went to a strip club or something and was getting a lap dance, so he physically motioned as if he was humping something. was not fun to sit next to that and just got annoying when the DM was visibly getting annoyed since he faded to black but the player would ask things like "so should i roll fortitude to see how long i last?" or something.

[@roarshach13]

Personally the most disgusting part of the last story is that the DM wouldn't let OP leave the campaign at first. If someone wants to leave you respect that.

[@terratorment2940]

Some weeb tried to tell me that the worst anime has better writing than the best American film or show. Weebs are so embarrassing.

[@TigerW0lf]

That opening Katana bit brings up a thought. What is the best way to balance elemental damage enchantment?

[@ArawnNox]

If we're talking bog standard 5e (and to a lesser extent, other d20 systems) Generally the elemental damage just adds a d6 of that type to the damage roll. That's about all you need in 5e, really.

[@TigerW0lf]

@@ArawnNox shit, I gave lightning enchantment to a sword that added a d8

[@ArawnNox]

@@TigerW0lf A die type higher shouldn't horribly unbalance anything. And theres nothing wrong with asking the player if they're okay with scaling it down.

[@legomaniac213]

Throw in an enemy type that resists it. An extra 1d6 fire or poison damage on hit might sound cool right up until you run into any type of Fiend (who resist or are flat out immune to both those damage types).

[@ArawnNox]

@@legomaniac213 Do that sort of thing in moderation though. It's no fun to get something cool only to have it negated.

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

For the opening story, is this person aware that the Dungeon Master’s guide literally has rules for a katana? (It’s a reskinned longsword.) For the first story, what even? First of all, the homophobia sucks. Second of all, how come the druid’s a “witch” but the warlock isn’t? The “witches” the Salem witch trials were hunting basically were warlocks-or they would have been if they’d existed. For the second story, that DM can just fuck right off. The shape of someone’s body has absolutely no impact on their dexterity. I’m pretty skinny, and so clumsy I’ve accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to tie my coat around my waist. One of my best friends is fairly chubby, and she’s an incredibly graceful dancer. For the third story, what the heck did Kevin expect to happen? Did he think ignoring everyone’s advice would make his character sheet magically submit itself? Also, the homebrew thing: first of all, anthropomorphic dragons already exist; they’re called dragonborn. Second of all, if you want to work with your DM to homebrew something, that’s great, but you have to actually put in some effort. The DM is not your servant; you can’t just say: “I want to be this; make it for me.” For the fourth story, ew. That’s just gross. Both the problem players and the DM are disgusting people. Nobody wants to hear your perverted fantasies at the D&D table.

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

Edit: What I meant by that last sentence is that unless someone has explicitly consented to hearing your perverted fantasies at the D&D table, you should assume they don’t want to. If everyone’s consenting to it, go right ahead.

[@Pierre_Wawawa]

9:20 "we do a small amount of toomfoolery" energy

[@andreacallegari7137]

A measly 100 gold for a +4 weapon with additional properties? When a +3 weapon is a very rare item? Balanced

[@TheAusar]

Light + 4 ultra greatsword. Yep, seems balanced.

[@elbruces]

I don't know, I think wearing a ballgown into combat should invoke the Rule of Cool.

[@andyyankovich69]

The new intro visuals and music feel so professional, keep it up!!!

[@Turtle-Melon]

Crispy forgot that the reason Jin Sakai got his sword for free is because he owns it by right of heirloom and inheritance

[@ziggy4951]

When I was new to playing I'm sure the GM got pretty annoyed with all the questions I would ask and how long it took for me to set up a character, but the fun thing about these devices is that they contain a whole library of information that anyone can look up with a tap. It's crazy!

[@Nr4747]

Wanting or enjoying ERP is not a problem at all, imho, *IF* everyone at the table (and in the nearby vicinity) is on board with it. If not, then it's obviously extremely problematic.

[@ponygonporygon2153]

Druid spells are nice and not at all horrific. Nothing says nice like: Entangling people with thorns and vines, having hordes of animals maul someone, turning into an animal to maul someone, impaling them with ice storms, easy baking them with walls of fire, turning little bugs giant and using the primordial power of the sun to sear a hole in someone.

[@brittanybecker170]

Champaign number two sounds like Krynn. Honestly, Raistlin would've had more power by being an inter dimensional travel agent getting magic-users out of that realm with an option to wave Bigdy's Giant Middle Finger to everyone when they left.

[@shadowtheraptor7800]

These stories make me grateful how nice my dnd group is

[@Belgand]

My favorite "doesn't show up" was when it was the GM who was always flaky. And that leads to one player leaving and then another, and suddenly the dam is breached and everyone ditches because the ship is clearly sinking and they aren't going to tough it out. I stuck around for another batch of players, giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, and then he went and did it again. No excuse, no warning, just plain didn't show up at all on game day while the players did. It was really a shame because the game was competently run, which is well above average for most games found through Roll20.

[@roselover411]

It is incredibly coincidental that my internet started lagging specifically during the ad read

[@notoriouswhitemoth]

Ball gown shouldn't slow you don't in a fight. If you can dance in it, you can fight in it. That said, if it's a gown you can't dance in, it might need some small modifications that could easily be made in the space of one round.

[@ZedMazaus480]

GET A ROOM!! Seriously please you two, before we need to call the town guard for leud behavior and indecent public nudity.. There's families at this inn for Bahamut's sake!!. ... Fine if you won't knock it off. How about a cold shower? 15 FOOT CONE OF COOOOOLD!!!

[@kevinfelton689]

I always laugh when weebs mistake katannas for light sabers.

[@Densoro]

It’s too bad that first story was such a shitshow, because the phrase ‘This drew the ire of Bob the fighter and Winona Ryder’ is so fun to say lmao

[@calibcarmichael6356]

Making that sword only cost 100 gold while being a +4 weapon... Absolutely not

[@RiversEagle_]

When your horror story begins with a cavalier use of the primary homophobic slur then you know you're in for a rough time.

[@Sundershard]

16 snakes...taking 3 beams of 1D10 eldritch blast damage each. (16x3)x10 = roughly a maximum of 480 force damage here without invocations on a REACTION. ohhh myyyyy gawwwwd (o.O;)

[@tobinator1767]

I didnt realize until now that i was apparently very lucky with roll20. The first campaign i joined had 6 players and a cool DM and most of the time, all showed up for the game.

[@andrejg4136]

From what I can gather, it's because of the seemingly-natural tendency for people to not take things on the internet seriously. So you end up having to churn through groups in order to find one worthwhile, most of the the time at least.

[@jeanannd]

So they accuse the druid of being a witch BUT they have a Warlock in their party?

[@WolfHreda]

His first problem was giving his Katana the Light property.

[@TheRPGNerd]

dragonborn are literally anthro dragons appearance wise whats his issue

[@Draeckon]

Because clearly they aren't 'true' dragons.

[@AoRArchAngel]

Eh, for that last story a lot of people are forgetting about the two players that went hard into the ERP. Yea, the DM should've either let the other two just leave, or faded to black, something, but the two players are just a big a problem as he is. Fully ignoring their fellow players being so uncomfortable and just going full tilt.

[@edwardclay7551]

Well damn. I've seen some weird shit in many of the games I have been in but that erp at the end has got to be one of the strangest things I've ever heard.

[@CrispysTavern]

Hail Hastur. He who watches. He who dreams.

[@Kuroiglint]

I guess Crispy himself will never "need a room" :P

[@yoyoboy87]

That opening bit. Here’s how I would rule for katanas. It’s a long sword with the finesse property That’s it.

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

Back in 3.5, I worked with my DM to homebrew weapon proficiencies for the Samurai class for a campaign (because I wanted to play a stereotypical "katana" Samurai that you see in a lot of media, and not the weird 2-weapon version in Complete Warrior), and they ruled that a katana was a bastard sword with a lower damage die, slightly higher chance to crit, and -2 on attack rolls if used 1-handed (because they're heavy). Seemed to work OK.

[@jonnyscoutgames]

Love the new opening! let's play some Destiny sometime :)

[@CrispysTavern]

Sorry, I’m not comfortable playing with subscribers. But good luck on your journeys starside guardian!

[@ivorythebashful]

Loving the background and new music! Still, great commentary on all the stories. Also: I liked the video… And it’s up to 69. Nice~

[@chaoticevilspacewitch]

As a girl who makes out with girls... yes it IS "so hot"... but non-consensual ERP in the middle of a session while a pervy DM gets off to it is just... ugh I need to scrub myself with steel wool now.

[@AmonDevilman]

A huge red flag is any campaign in which magic is outlawed or shit like that because it's just not Dungeons and Dragons.

[@roarshach13]

It could be a neat idea if it's like...the fourth campaign the party has played and they wanna try something different. But 9 times out of 10 it always feels like these "magic is illegal" settings are just an excuse to bully spellcasters.

[@omegamysterio3701]

It could be interesting for a town to have during the campaign, not a whole focus in the session but a place the party goes to and can interact with it and quests they find there/ Villains they decide they want to deal with. Making a whole campaign for that? Idk you'd have to have a crazy good idea and know exactly what you want to do with it for that to work.

[@Draeckon]

It can work but it requires trust between the players and DM that it won't be used as a thinly veiled excuse to dunk on spellcasters. Set clear expectations of what it will mean, and that spellcasters will have to take pains to hide their power. As long as enemies aren't magically omniscient and able to just sense spellcasters, it can present an interesting challenge. So you know, never join a campaign like that if you've never played with the DM before and don't have someone to vet them.

[@KnightsRealm98]

I strongly disagree. Many popular fantasy stories have magic being either illegal or highly mistrusted by the populace (Wheel of Time, The Witcher, and Dragonlance come to mind), and it's often rare as well in medieval fantasy (high fantasy is a different beast entirely). The issue is that some DMs use it as an excuse to bully and nerf spellcasters, but if a DM uses it as worldbuilding, it can help make magic more wondrous. A DM also has to be flexible in a case like that, so that not every NPC, realm, or town hate magic. The world I run is a bit more medieval fantasy, with only one magic academy world-wide, and it's in an extremely progressive nation. Magic exists, but in many locations it's feared, and the current nation I'm running has it outlawed entirely, because people fear what they don't understand

[@marcusreading3783]

Katana's are...fine I guess. They are serviceable swords, but they are sidearms. The real weapon of a Samurai is the spear, the bow and the horse. ...um, is the Warlock REALLY the one who wants to be burning people at teh stake? Because I think that his class is the one much closer to what most people would consider 'witchcraft' than a Druid. Yep, much more witchy than a Druid! Actually, if that slave character was in an army, he probably could speak a lot of languages. Its kinda needed in a role like that. That being said, I dont think I'd describe that character as 'fat' because its not accurate. Hefty would probably be better, or girthy, although that might result in some more puerile humour... Also, I have to wonder if that guy has ever seen those images of strong men? As in, the people who hold records for pulling busses and trains around. They all look fat but they absolutely arent! We think of strong people looking like Swartzniggar in Terminator, but hes a bodybuilder and the process of building up those muscles are completely different.

[@MagnusTonitrum117]

don’t forget the tanegashima rifle

[@IAOIceland1984]

Yes! The spear, or other weapons that served a similar function (crowsbeak, pike, halberd, atgeir) were the most common battlefield weapon and I would love to see them getting their deserved recognition as great battlefield weapons

[@andrejg4136]

the Samurai absolutely would have loved getting their hands on even better rifles during the Warring States period. They couldn't get enough of the relative handful they could get from the Dutch.

[@MagnusTonitrum117]

@@andrejg4136 I don’t blame em, the tanegashima were pretty pog

[@wakkaseta8351]

Don't forget the Kanabo.

[@clarehidalgo]

0:11 Light weight does not make sense, looking up German longsword and Katana they both weight 0.9-1.5 kilos or about 2-3.3lbs, that katana is not more light that any other long sword though it tends to have a longer hilt (tsuka) and shorter blade in comparison to the European blades of the same length. the average Tsuka being around 30cm or 11.8 inches while 11 inches in on the longer extreme of hilt lengths for European swords

[@Aja-e5j]

+4 sword with bonus elemental damage for 100 bucks and 2 ingame days? also those base damage dice are on par with two handed weapons and notably surpass the damage of two handed weapon when used with two hands

[@skyfox585]

I think this wynona Ryder dude was in a game I was in. The name sounds super familiar, I remember thinking it was a weird name. But his image was a dragon priest mask from skyrim. It was literally my first time ever trying dnd and I joined a random roll20 campaign with my mate who has played loads before. It's possible it wasn't the same guy, he didnt swear that much but he was just a nightmare of a person, he constantly passive aggressively shot down our plans or over explained with weird buzzwordy science whenever he told us we were wrong about something. He was a weird dude and he seemed to specifically not like me. I'm decently confident and I guess I just had to much presence at the table and that pissed him off, idk. It's also possible that I was a spotlight hog, I tried to let everyone have their turn and never put a whole lot of emphasis on myself but when it felt like people got lost and the game slowed down usually tried to pick it back up. Although I'm playing with some closer mates right now and I definitely do have a knack for making plans that sound cool and plausible but miserably fail on execution. 😂

[@ChaosCounseling]

I’ve got an order of Crispy rat on the bar

[@CrispysTavern]

I don’t think that taste very good…

[@Ozzy08018]

I can't stress this enough when I say that the Katana isn't the best sword ever just because it's commonly used in Anime. The Katan was one of the best swords in JAPAN and some other Asian countries. Now, for any weeb who might read this, I want you to imagine a duel between a katana wielding samurai and a skilled warrior who uses a parry dagger. If you somehow find a way to make the samurai win, imagine a samurai trying to fight a late medevil era knight. Spoiler alert! The samurai gets hacked into applesauce because katans were made to be used against unarmored or lightly armored foes.

[@Lazy_Spade]

19:32 uh…Dragonborn’s are already planeshifters. Granted OP probaly has their own lore. But forgotten realms lore. Dragonborn’s appeared after a war in which a wizard attempted to be god of magic. He succeeded but didn’t really know how to use his powers so he failed. In that short time however the gaps appeared in the weave it was through these gaps that Dragonborn’s escaped into the forgotten realms in a attempt to get away from their tyrants.

[@Lt.BunnyGirl]

You've ALREADY got a dexterity stat! No need for disadvantages / advantages...

[@A_Knight44]

I'm honestly lucky. In the three games I've applied to on Roll20, I got accepted into all of them and they've all been going for about two-three years now.

[@acemaison2834]

The few seconds of the first story was a huge red flag next to PCs not even trying to cooperate with the new character. Also opportunity eldlich blast (at 11th lvl because reasons ) really -_-. The last one just oof the players with no respect to others and oof the DM for being just awful all around.

[@someoneelse4925]

I need to know how many people have told you you look like Ned Bigby from Ned's Declassified: School Survival Guide Cause boo you do

[@coda821]

The neon glow candles R nice.

[@Bluhbear]

That katana was already OP when they said it was a light weapon. :V

[@jimmyfrench4722]

How dare they besmirch the name of Winona Ryder! I would’ve stayed long enough to find a way to kill that warlock…even if it would’ve taken me finding a way to reach thru the screens, across the Internet, to choke him out! Another reason gaming should be tabletop! People like those in your stories are why I quit long ago; your stories, & others, help me accept that I’ll never be able to return.

[@simondurso6743]

pretty sure kobold necromancer is a reference to Q bone, because q bone kinda looks like a kobold with a skull on its head

[@lindafreeman7030]

Yes! Joyce the Warlock for the win!

[@kenshin491]

I’m in a hotel listening to this…. I got a room.

[@TigerKirby215]

Oh man the Winona Ryder story lol

[@Puzzlers100]

Most experts claim the katana is rougly equivalent to european longswords, so 1d8 slashing, 1d10 slashing when two handed

[@mercofrevenge1]

This is the third time I've listened to a retelling of the fat Firbolg story and it still pisses me off 😤

[@aquaticcatfey]

And _this_ is why, despite subscribing to the view that "fat" is not a dirty word, I'm euphemistic when describing fat characters who are "strongfat" or otherwise lead active lives. Comparisons to strength athletes ("Eddie Hall in his strongman days," for example) or Kul Tirans from _WoW_ often come up, along with words like "chubscular" or descriptions like "big and bulky and deceptively soft-looking." Because if you just say that the character is fat, people presume "the sins of sloth and gluttony."

[@marybdrake1472]

Part of me wants to say that was a collection of extra, extra messy stories, but, the rest of me knows better.

[@BanditNation602]

Realistically, a katana would just be a reflavored longsword. Maybe also with the finesse property, but longswords should have that already

[@rifter0x0000]

Katanas were already in D&D since 1st Edition. They were more or less like longswords just a different flavor.

[@maxoublue1]

All I'm going to say for the intro story is "Katana are Underpowered in DnD." and leave it at that.

[@minimalbstolerance8113]

Pre-intro skit: The third party book "Ainorian Compendium" has a relatively realistic profile for a katana in its Exotic Weapons rules section. From what I recall, it's more or less a longsword that gets some kind of bonus against unarmoured and lightly armoured enemies, but gets nerfed badly if used against heavily armoured foes. Story 1: Played a game myself once that was set in an antimagic dystopia. Thankfully my game didn't have any homophobia and we didn't get punished for creating food... Just for the gnome conjuration wizard setting off what amounted to a magnesium flare right in the queen's champion's face. And the less said about the Dragonborn Barbarian attempting to pass himself off as a "dragongram" the better. Story 2: Nothing wrong with fat D&D characters. In fact, I've been dining out on funny tales of Spud, my friend's incredibly fat Dwarf fighter, for years. "I WANNA ROWING BOAT!" Story 3: I've never heard of Westmarch games, but the concept sounds interesting. Might have to check it out. Story 4: Personally, my reaction to this would be to have my character eating popcorn and scribbling down future potential blackmail material, but I can see the problem here. Although I will say that a "paper dragon" is a cool idea and I might put it in one of my games as a guard for an enchanted library.

[@dragonfire14x]

That is way too over powered for a basic weapon. If I was to add a Katana it would be basically a variant longsword. A 1D8 Slashing damage one handed bladed weapon, with versatile (1d10), and finesse. Though because it is a strictly better Longsword I would have it cost more than a longsword.

[@Keram-io8hv]

Dammit, I would love to conversate with DM from second story

[@mkay7163]

Strong "are the allos okay" energy with that title. I click with glee.

[@Loafusbreadmyre]

Katana: Literally just a longsword reskin. Genuinely it's not all that different. no they aren't lighter, they actually feel heavier in the hand (despite being about equal in weight, with obvious slight variation) because the center of balance is farther up the blade than a standard longsword. Yes there's only one edge, but that doesn't warrant adding a whole weapon. Yes the fighting styles are different, but again, that doesn't warrant adding a whole weapon. Can be wielded in one hand, but is better off in two? sounds like a longsword bud.

[@jiaxihao1847]

I think I'm too much of a League palyer, ligit looked at the thumbnail, and just immedeitly guessed Spriate blossom akali

[@alphons1456o]

I'd like to see that DM making fun of the fat firbolg call Eddie Hall fat to his face

[@hellyeah6127]

I guess you could say DM #3 was being a bit...obtuse.

[@SaintofM]

Opening: i was an 86 baby and grew up in a house thst watched Highlander so i understand the Cult of the Katana. Thst said if there are no rules for it, it should play like a Longsword as its a 2 handed weapon thst can be done one handed. 1st long story: well, this is why no D&D is better than BAD D&D. Also Warlocks, boy Witches. The rest wow, wow

[@JadeRobertsG2019]

The katana is a +4 weapon as far as to hit??