DM Says "No One Wants to BANG ORCS!", Screws Over Player (+ More) | r/rpghorrorstories

[@destroyerinazuma96]

The trackers part reminds me of a Cyberpunk rpg horror story. Metagamey GM kept havong bounty hunters pop up to ambush the party. Party grew paranoid, was regularly finding and smashing trackers until there were none, was thorough with checking everything for bugs. One time before a sortie, they double-checked everything once more, went out, and couldn't travel one yard without the bounty hunters showing. Party told GM they checked for trackers, GM replied "Yes, but you forgot about [insert some nonsense]". Party pretty much flipped the table and left that GM.

[@forgottenartform]

'Humans could never be into orcs' Yea I know far too many people who'd be happy to have some one on one time with a mommy / daddy orc 😂

[@KollbjornYT]

Like you? LOL

[@forgottenartform]

@@KollbjornYT yup

[@KollbjornYT]

@@forgottenartform NICE!

[@sebbonxxsebbon6824]

Really sick...

[@seanathenthompson3472]

I would no complain.

[@cabalarcana6996]

10:00 Come on, Morrow, everyone knows that purple orcs are invisible. Have you ever seen a purple orc? Exactly. This is a 40k joke.

[@TalesToMorrow]

LMAO

[@lorddreemurr]

Purple is da sneaky color, that's true

[@DHTheAlaskan]

I like the Warcraft portrail of orcs. Being people that often got a hard lot in life and had to fight in order to survive yet are willing to be peaceful once they kicked the demon blood habit.

[@Dave_Fondale]

The book's is more what you'd call "guidelines" and "Suggestions" than actual rules and set in stone lore.

[@ntfoperative9432]

I thought so, because if the game had strict lore how could you invent stories set in different universes and times?

[@NeoSwordsmanZ]

Its a shame how the DM in the last story treated the orc player. It sounds like there could've been really wholesome moments involving his wife and two half-orc daughters.

[@l0stndamned]

I thought everyone had noticed that pun. I guess other groups don't have as many pun-prone players as me. On the DM issue I've actually worn shirts with d+d dungeon master jokes on them while visiting venues that have included that sort of dungeon. Purple orcs are the sneakiest orcs, that's why no-one sees them. Also anyone who says no-one wants to bang orcs hasn't spent much time on the internet,

[@StateBlaze1989]

Exactly. Hell, look what the internet did to goblins and kobolds.

[@MarquisLeary34]

Know what added an extra level of infuriation of that orc story? That line about "This isn't WOKE D&D". I'd bet my next magic item that he wasn't even old enough to play the original AD&D back in the "non woke" days.

[@seto_kaiba_]

I got the opposite impression. He strikes me as a pretentious grognard who is oblivious to the fact that he just sucks at DnD. Woke bs or not.

[@MarquisLeary34]

@@seto_kaiba_ I know insufferable grognards, it doesn't really sound like them. Sounds more like a kid who watched some redpill junk about the subject and latched on. I could be wrong, of course, but it just doesn't sound like an old timer.

[@TheFuriousScribbles]

I am old enough to have played "non-woke" AD&D, having started out with 2nd and 3rd edition. And what he's describing? Yeah, that ain't it. While it wasn't completely standard, playing as a goblin, an orc, a kobold, a minotaur or whatever and being a fairly normal person wasn't totally unknown and even fairly common at some tables.

[@MarquisLeary34]

@@TheFuriousScribbles First edition AD&D, one might have a point, as it didn't really flesh out it's non playable races, though even then it at least touched on the possibility. But yea, that's it. From 2nd onward, it was as you said.

[@xFlareLeon]

Drop the sarcasm quotes. We have non-evil orcs and drow, yes, but orcs by and large are usually evil. The good ones are the exceptions, and in GM's shoes I would have told him if I was going to have full-blooded orcs be inherently monstrous. Might have even offered for him to play a half-orc instead, as they're more accepted. This is coming from someone who homebrewed a whole society of half-orcs who were outcasts all drawn together by their common exile, and who are adamant about not being seen as the monsters others claim they are. They vehemently despise orc raiders who actively hurt their efforts to be seen as people. D&D is woke now. Sarcasm quotes won't change that. Things are being altered, removed, censored because of real-world politics. People don't like orcs being generally evil because some idiot compared them to black people. Alignment is meaningless now because no one wants to believe that there are actually evil creatures that exist in a fantasy setting. There's a stupid high school drama campaign setting based in a magic academy now, and WOTC openly supports DEI practices.

[@aquaticcatfey]

The use of "woke" as a pejorative tells you volumes about the guy in and of itself. And of the half-orcs whom I've played: one was explicitly the result of a consensual one-night stand (and her mother was the orc), one was a doorstop baby who never knew her parents (although I imagine that they were both half-orcs), and I never delved into the third's backstory at all Also: speaking of lady orcs, and of _Warcraft_ orcs? Gorgonna (the new Warsong chieftain, whom we first met in Grizzly Hills) is hawt.

[@_NIKOS9_NIKOS]

TTM: Is there such a thing as a purple orc? Idk man I've never seen one. They must be really sneaky or something Only 40K fans will get that joke

[@RamlethalTheWamwethalUwU]

Only da big unz get dis haha!!

[@orlandobritt1460]

Haha 😂

[@ntfoperative9432]

I dunno, the red ones are also pretty hard to catch

[@aquaticcatfey]

Ninjorcs.

[@Ballagorn_Ironblood]

Black is tough Red is fast Blue is lucky Yellow is rich/likes to go boom Green is Da Best

[@synnduncan3711]

There is literally a romance section in Kindle that's dedicated to orc romance. I know this for reasons.......also a minotaur section.

[@NekomaruOfTheOcean]

The best way to tell if a person is kinky or Nerdy? Ask them what a dungeon Master does.

[@orlandobritt1460]

I meet people that said both meaning and said they wear the same outfit for both

[@destroyerinazuma96]

I asked a classmate what a tank was. He instantly went into MMO terminology.

[@AmaryInkawult]

Purple Orks are the sneakiest bois

[@AmaryInkawult]

Ent no one see a Purple Ork

[@keezydamascot]

My players rarely call me DM/GM, instead I’m called “god” mostly as a joke but usually it’s when they’re trying to convince me to let them pull off something insanely bonkers. Most recent example: cast enlarge on a path of giant barbarian (which makes them large-sized on rage) to make them Huge sized.

[@TalesToMorrow]

Oh I love using "God", that's my second fave thing to call DM

[@papads-chan5119]

12:22 the only time when i think this is apropriate is when someone gets you like 10 pages of lore for their character, and even then i think a "please summarize this" is tottaly fine. I like to write myself, and when i send something to a DM and they say they liked it or want more i usually have written the full idk 2 pages at max? but refusing to read his own players backstory is so rude to me.

[@RagnarokAvatar]

If that dm didn't think orcs could be civilized then he never should've allowed it as a playable race to begin with.

[@TalesToMorrow]

Or at least gave some caveats before the player chose their character

[@RagnarokAvatar]

@@TalesToMorrow Agreed. I DM an Eberron campaign and one of the first things I did was tell players that I'd only allow material exclusive to the Eberron world such as races that are exclusive to that world unless they can convince not just me, but the other players how they'd fit in and giving fair conditions on how certain spells can be cast (such as you must have berries to cast Goodberry or using the intelligence-based skills to identify a spell in order to use Counterspell to make the fights more challenging). These rules you make at your table should always be done before the fist session or be brought up during session 0, that way the game can be both fun and challenging for everyone.

[@WolfHreda]

10:08 There theoretically could be purple Orcs. But no one has ever seen one. On account of purple being the sneakiest color and all.

[@elextrano7597]

10:06 we had a Cleric Half orc who was purple due to a Genetic anomaly (we use book for random backstories) later in the game his skin color would open certain doos that needed Purple keys. His name is Olver and he has an amazing Fanart.

[@ntfoperative9432]

How did you know he was there? He had to be the stealthiest person alive

[@elextrano7597]

@@ntfoperative9432 i was the Dm... The others had the problem XD (warhammer reference?)

[@chrisg8989]

Thing is... in the majority of DnD published content they basically imply that all half orcs are the result of Raiding Orcs "Having their way" with the human women. It's brutal but that's all you need to say if your DM doesn't want you to half Orc it up.

[@katarinadreams6955]

I have a half-orc ranger. She's the offspring of a female orc and human male. I love her dearly.

[@TigerW0lf]

DM: "Yeah, I'm not reading your backstory." Me: "So you're just a lazy tool then?" Walks away. That's how it should have gone down.

[@V_Cancrosa]

2:20 Ok Dungeon Master Morrow. I'll delete what I captured. Punish me for I have sinned

[@thesimplerooster]

"no one wants to bang orcs!" me with the orcs: grind my face on your Abs like a block of cheese!

[@KyuuStormsoul]

Whoever came up with that channel name must have been a genius of unrivaled proportions

[@TalesToMorrow]

:)

[@chancebeckner8114]

Wait, everyone JUST caught the pun? Dude, I subscribed FOR THE PUN. Now I stick around cause you're my favorite RPG horror story reader followed closely by The Drake

[@Theokal3]

The whole "humans could never be into orcs" kinda amuses me because in my book I got an orc character who's main trait is that he's polyamorous and has a lot of completely consensual relationships with women of other species :p

[@seto_kaiba_]

Tbf, sometimes not reading a backstory is valid. I’ve sometimes gone overboard and sent the DM pages of backstory on literal one shots dedicated to combat like an hour before session and he basically said “Yeah I’m not reading all that” for understandable reasons.

[@TalesToMorrow]

From the way the story goes, it doesn't look like a one-shot

[@seto_kaiba_]

@@TalesToMorrow Yeah you got a point. To be clear, this DM does sound like a prick.

[@gimok2k5]

I can say I noticed the pun and constantly expected you having two buddies named "Day" and "Yu" show up, for the sake of pun.

[@theratking013]

There are Gray Orcs, in the Game Neverwinter 2 Addon, as an playable Race and they are the more tame ones and i do think to remember that there is a Fey related Orc Sub Race that are totally Pacifists. Nor to forget Orcs ind Elder Scrolls can be good and honorable same as the Warcraft Orcs. Even some of Tolkiens Orks can be less evil not friendly but total evil either. And i would totally play an Orc in DnD as an Warlock Fiend Pact with an Gul'Dan like Personality.

[@Eladdan]

I make the "...maybe it's Maybeline." joke so often. XD

[@schwarzerritter5724]

11:53 A DM once made me roll a deception check when my fairy barbarian (low intelligence and wisdom, but decent charisma) stated she does not understand the concept of lying and the character has never said anything she does not mean throughout the first few sessions.

[@TalesToMorrow]

How did it end? Did the DM let you roll persuasion instead, or some other outcome?

[@schwarzerritter5724]

@@TalesToMorrow I refused to roll Deception and the dungeon master pretended I did not say the line.

[@LaydiNite]

I assure you, I know women that have been attracted to characters far weirder and less conventionally attractive than orcs. I have a few of my own "wait, I can explain" type of character crushes.

[@AmaryInkawult]

You don't want me to be your Dungeon Domi Momi. I say this for the sake of your sanity.

[@TalesToMorrow]

...Temping my curiosity

[@AmaryInkawult]

@@TalesToMorrow I will break out a home made torture wheel. I am completely serious, I'm far gone from the vanilla BDSM due to my "interests"

[@rocketraccoon1976]

1st Story: Choo chooooooooo, chugga chugga, chugga chugga... 🚂 That DM was Snowpiercer levels of railroading. Surprised he didn't have his bad guys start freezing the PCs' body parts solid then smashing them until the PCs got back on the tracks. 2nd Story: Why you NEVER want to play with That Guy as DM. Seriously, the DM was prejudiced against orcs, even though orcs are a _fictional_ race. What the hell?? 😵‍💫 OP should have resurrected his orc character once the good DM took over again. BTW - Where do you get the cover art for your vids? Is it from a specific artist or website? I really love the style!

[@akmi1931]

That DM is the type who sees his own racial prejudices in fictional characters.

[@Nbird16]

9:02 You are missing something Fighters don't go Bonk They go Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk

[@airvent6199]

Rule 34 currently has 20446 images of orcs...

[@WTFisTingispingis]

Cowards. Orc women are amazing.

[@tylercoddington1990]

Amen to that brother.

[@BlueTressym]

I suspect the "Orcs are monsters!" GM was one who judges everyone by their own standards. I mean, they used the word 'woke' as an unironic insult and that speaks volumes in and of itself. So, they said there was nothing the player needed to know because in their head, their version of how orcs are was so obviously the 'right' one that they couldn't grasop that anyone except for 'woke folks' could dispute it as correct. I think they honestly can't conceive of the notion that they're a minority and that there are a huge number of people happily playing "Woke D&D".

[@one_lazy_robot]

Nice, more people noticed the pum? I hope they got extra XP for that.

[@ArcmageZaln]

that second story shows that marrow probably has ADHD with that purple orc part. lol.

[@TenchiBushi]

I've been playing since 1980. We always have said DM. Only DM. No one in any group I had played over the years said "Dungeon Master."

[@RamlethalTheWamwethalUwU]

Great video as always! Also most orcs are typically blue, green, or grey but like. Orcs are also deeply into spiritual imagery. Including body paints so you could make an orc that colors himself purple?

[@Long_May_They_Raine]

Note to self: Clip 2:23 - 2:27

[@TalesToMorrow]

NOOOOO!

[@wolfherojohnson2766]

I noticed the pun immediately actually 😸

[@devourlordasmodeus]

Orc women are very very, yes, and purple orcs are a great idea.

[@dalejhunter1]

I've always had a fascination with evil species playing the role of a good guy. Like as early as Paper Mario where a Goomba, Koopa, and Bob-omb (to name a few) joined you as your companions despite being part of a species that actively attacks Mario. Species like Orcs are in fact shown to be evil in most media, but games like Elder Scrolls do give you the option, allowing you to play an Orc as a hero. Related to the above, one race that I do have an interest in playing if I ever did play DnD is a Tiefling. The idea of this demonic looking humanoid race who is often shunned for their evil presence builds an interesting character. Going from someone who is feared and hated into one of those beloved heroes in a campaign. Or an evil demon lord if you choose to go that direction with the DM. Evil races turned good always just made for fantastic story telling to me.

[@xyreniaofcthrayn1195]

I think the whole orc waifu/husbando demographic kinda went and became a pseudo religion with elements of only orcs and orc-hub...

[@TalesToMorrow]

Some people just know what they like I suppose

[@Kierawolf]

*immediately clips that part I'm told not to then gives you mizora... ys know for researching*

[@TalesToMorrow]

PLEASE DONT!

[@Kierawolf]

@@TalesToMorrow oh relax I'm not that evil, but i did figure i could poke ya a bit teasingly of course. hope your day is going well though.

[@SageDarkwind]

Tales to Morrow. Yeah, I already got that joke the first time I heard it.

[@xbamfo8199]

I will say as a dm, sometimes if you get sent an extra long backstory, it is good to ask if any of it can be shortened or cut down to the important bits. That gives opportunity for edits to be made. Or if everything really is that vital, I will still read it and hope that they're not trying to cram a fully finished character into the start of the game.

[@TalesToMorrow]

A condensed version of a backstory is a great thing to have. Sometimes its hard to digest a 10-page backstory. But for the DM to just say "I ain't reading all of that" is so dickish. And only because the guy DARED to have a nice backstory for his Orc

[@xbamfo8199]

@@TalesToMorrow Very agreed. Plus it seems he didn't like reading since he clearly hadn't read the entries on orcs in the monster manuals. 3.5 is my goto edition. And in that they are more like Vikings.

[@1Ring42]

Tbf Speak with Dead is a spell that gives cryptic answers. But all the other stuff is bullshit

[@TalesToMorrow]

Cryptic answers are neat, but not if it gives nothing for the party to work with. At least give them a vague clue to point them into the next plot or something D:

[@1Ring42]

@TalesToMorrow Imo the main problem is the party was railroaded into blowing their resources on a spell that is described as giving brief repetitive cryptic answers.

[@brandonpeterson3434]

I groan every time i hear the pun at this point

[@lorenloiselle1733]

I'm surprised Marrow hasn't read SSB

[@fateric007]

I love me some muscle mommy orcs.

[@dracone4370]

The video's story breaks are a bit off. And I'm sorry, but the Warhammer RPG is more of a Dark Fantasy setting than what I said before; Warhammer 40K is more along the lines of the way I described in a prior comment. Also, the 40K Orks are so much fun to hear stories about; check out their lore sometimes.

[@Qwerty95ish]

The pun was wildly obvious..... Also fighters study combat like wizards study magic. Their whole shtick is peerless martial study. Orcs should absolutely be allowed to play them, but they are way more then just go bonk.

[@Asher_Tye]

Really? That was supposed to be a hidden joke. I just figured it was there for laughs

[@YearoftheKitsune]

oh I love using DnD as a building block. I have Tiamat having taken over as the ruler of the Nine Hells and Bahamut having taken over as the ruler of Mt. Celestia because the horseman War gave Ratatoskr a magical smartphone and it started a deific war to end all wars now devils are starting to move out of hell and integrate with society because they really don't gel with how Tiamat runs the Hells, but they make pretty good lawyers and workers in volcanic regions so

[@SusanForman042]

Haven't finished video yet but I just wanted to post what went through my brain upon reading the title because to me at least that particular thought was pretty funny ' NO ONE WANTS to BANG ORCS! ' Me:"Hmmm. Oh really? Cue the most of the Bards I've heard of." Bard:" Hold my lute watch this." [1] Edit: finished video that DM is fucked up

[@Wrathura]

To be fair, orc's being force reproducers is the lore. Changing it is homebrew. However, to say they can *only* reproduce that way *is* homebrew as it isn't some physical or magical limitation. Just a culture/trait kind of thing.

[@TalesToMorrow]

I also like the idea of LOTR, where they're grown(?) in some earth chasm

[@AnimalDelos]

Sup is back, baby! No more soup or sippin! XD

[@PuppyPawsGamingYT]

*immediately clips that*

[@TalesToMorrow]

NO!

[@PuppyPawsGamingYT]

@@TalesToMorrow too late morrow! its mine forever now muwahahaha!

[@Epocseer]

Orcs can get it....i regret nothing

[@nickerson1971]

Orks are as the DM says.... should have been discussed pre character generation, DM would have been 100% in the right if this hadn't have happened. As is, 100% in the wrong... wasting peoples time is unforgivable.

[@Meka-qq1tj]

Idk man if a female Orc joins my friend rp server she's getting hit on alongside the Half elf and Human.

[@bluedemion7207]

well I can't be a dm because I'm kinda lazy

[@TalesToMorrow]

And that's okay, sometimes its just nice to be a player

[@oldmanshinji9662]

Deep♂Dark♂Fantasys♂ in my sessions

[@elgatochurro]

I love green women

[@jblask2]

Are people really complaining that playint something other than baseline is "woke"? Guess me playing a buff lioness paladin from space is woke oh silly me

[@TalesToMorrow]

I guess we're all woke for being monsters lmao

[@juliannewallo8046]

Wrong... no comment.

[@tobiaspause1775]

really? You think it took us so long to notice your names wordplay?

[@elextrano7597]

16:33 is not woke the Dm is just a closet weirdo (i have the 2 things in my setting the good and the bad)

[@andyaknoby5007]

Use woke say more about the person thaan the one them are 'critizacin" and besides...half-orc

[@pacecory1]

your censorship means i can't follow along by listening. you should not be covering adult subjects if your censoring non-swear words. Its interesting stuff to talk about, but you just need to be more open with using the real big boy grown up words if your going to cover it. I know, I'm on the wrong platform, if I want real human words I should just go watch rated PG movies, like King of the Hill lol. Still, its good stuff to cover, just needs less censorship

[@pacecory1]

oh also, Ork Massage is a thing, people clearly want to sleep with orks on purpose.

[@TalesToMorrow]

Convince KZbin to change their monetization policies and video guidelines and then I will drop the censorship. Until then, I'm sticking to what's going to keep my channel from being retro-actively taken down in future policy updates and community guideline clown fiesta