DNA Secrets | The Mel Robbins Show

Why do we keep secrets, especially from the people closest to us? Today, Mel sits down with Wendy, who discovered a secret so huge, it left her in the middle of a full-blown identity crisis.
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THE MEL ROBBINS SHOW is a 1-hour talk show hosted by the leading global motivational speaker and best-selling author of THE 5 SECOND RULE, Mel Robbins. Mel helps real people transform their lives by empowering them with the tools necessary to conquer their everyday problems and life’s biggest problems.
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[@vivianhart7152]

My 53 year old son, has found his biological sister recently, by way of DNA. This is a very unique situation for which we are all very happy for him.

[@coupdeforce]

I'm glad you all want to be happy for him! That shows how much you really love him!

[@Purpleiris444]

I love the quote by Jean Racine - "There are no secrets that time doesn't reveal." At 65 I discovered a secret. I can't prove it by DNA yet. But the counseling at the end may explained why my mother had an underlying anger towards me.

[@nancyhoward7005]

True

[@Isabella66Gracen]

Michelle is actually Wendy's "first cousin-once removed" and not her second cousin.

[@xhottestpink]

The cousins look alike!! Face shape and physical features!

[@delorespurchase-russell5195]

0

[@sarahball-ruck846]

"... because it is painful for him [father who raised her] in a different way than it is painful for me..." a grief/loss truth ... bravo

[@alanbevington4875]

Common mistake. The child of your 1st cousin is NOT your 2nd cousin. 1st cousin once removed

[@nreynolds75243]

What I don't understand is why do people feel lost once a DNA comes back different than expected? It doesn't change who you are. Your parents are the ones who raised and loved you. It's not tied by blood. Some blood relatives are awful and have to cut them off. Family is tied by love not by blood.

[@pamc9317]

Until you experience this you truly won’t understand. You can’t rationalize someone else’s emotions: no one can it’s shock and disbelief and hurt that you haven’t experienced and I hope you never do.

[@griceltorres7701]

I'm glad you don't understand this.

[@nreynolds75243]

@@griceltorres7701 You're right. I don't understand because I'm not in this predicament. My cousin grew up thinking she was adopted. In her mid to late 20s she found out that my aunt/uncle took her in and raised her. They hadn't adopted her but she bared our last name. She already felt abandoned by her biological parents. She was devastated. In tears. It broke my heart. I told her we're family. You know more of my blood relatives than I do. I never saw her as an outsider. That was my cousin

[@phabebarcelona863]

True. Sometimes family not always bloodrated

[@phabebarcelona863]

True. Sometimes family not always bloodrated

[@MyUnfilteredDiary]

Wow, those DNA tests really work! She looks exactly like her biological dad 😳

[@m.r.7836]

What a story - thanks for sharing! PS Your first cousin's child is your first cousin, once removed - a closer relation than a 2nd cousin.

[@audkarinen6875]

It’s entirely possible that Mom doesn’t know. Like someone said,’If you remember the 60s-7s, you weren’t there

[@michellebarlondsmith6243]

Secrets are so hurtful to a lot of people ... As an adoptee I tell people when they are doing DNA tests that they need to be prepared to be surprised ...

[@barberfamily3367]

Maybe her mother saw how close she was to her father who raised her and did not want to hurt either one of them.

[@tiffanycobb5600]

My grandmother gave up a child in 1954 for adoption and I have been trying to find him for 25 yrs. I think I may have found him but don’t have the ability to take a DNA test at this time. My grandmother just turned 91 yrs old. She has dementia and refuses to talk about this life event. 🥺 I’m glad this lady found her family!!

[@nitakate10]

Let your grandmother live her life out in peace ✌️

[@vickischaffer9229]

DNA tests come on sale at Christmas at 23andme. It has proved what I was told about my parentage

[@mrsTraveller64]

Be very careful, your grandmoms child might not know he was adopted!! You shouldn't go into his life because this is your grandmothers life and decision long time ago, not yours to find him and tell him(in case he doesn't know)

[@privateperson5769]

I was closed adopted. I have DNA tested, If my mother had not honestly and openly told me who my father was 🙏 altho he hurt her, I would still not know to this day, at age 6O...the DNA matches to his side are not close and I would more than likely not have been able to ID him with DNA. I would have been absolutely gutted. I needed to know who he was so bad.

[@susane4078]

Could one of her mother’s anger have been because her daughter’s presence reminded her of her own infidelity? (anger at herself and her failure so long before)

[@beverlyanne5192]

As both biological parents are deceased , we will never know if it was a consentual relationship

[@saraho9568]

Yea, because she looks just like the guy. And maybe she also felt threatened by the relationship between her daughter and the non-bio Dad. Weird.

[@timharper4246]

​@beverlyanne5192 oh please. She said her mother was narcissistic. Her mom was an unfaithful floozie

[@loricrane5315]

Holy crap that's exactly my mom. I'm staring at the DNA box.

[@theresaschuebel5151]

It sure as hell not easy that's for sure. My aunt recently did a DNA test and found out that the man who she had thought was her grandfather wasn't. My grandfather's mom, my granny Rose had been raped by a man who was friends of her employer. She was a maid/nanny to this family and they let him get away with the attack even though they knew she was engaged to another man. My great grandfather married my great granny anyway knowing my gramps wasn't his. Then my granny had internal bleeding and could never have another baby soon after my gramps was born and my great grandfather never had a chance to have a baby of his own. We knew about her issues after my gramps birth, and that they were married weeks before my grandfather was born. But we had no idea that grandpa Joe wasn't our blood until my aunt did the test a few months ag.

[@mimsicle1]

I think Identity Crises is a good way to put it. My oldest brother went through that for 20 years or more when he found out our dad was not his dad. Everyone knew this family secret except us kids. It’s wrong. I confronted my mother about it and she lied to me. It destroyed a friendship that I had because I believed my mother. Tell your children from the beginning. My uncle just discovered the rumours about his father were true. He’s 80 years old and he said he wished he had been told the truth years ago.

[@deborahgarner7785]

I thank god I took 2 dna tests. I found my true fathers father who he never knew! Back in the 50’s when I was born you were considered a bastards child and his children where children of a bastard. I took 2 tests just to make sure it was a true test. I am elated I took this test!

[@henrylockett2020]

Not a big deal but Wendy and Michelle are first cousins once removed. Wendy is first cousin to Michelle's mom. If Wendy has children, they are second cousins to Michelle.

[@Odo55]

It's interesting how this lady sometimes talks about herself in the second person " you ", I think to disassociate from the pain of this shocking news.

[@TheOriginalRick]

When I first talked with my newly found brother to let him know I existed his first words were, "You picked the wrong family, we don't have any money." :-) They have been great to me, with open arms and lots of love.

[@janicethompson7880]

He was a man to be proud of.

[@bernadettemcmanus7975]

I, in my naivety and viciousness, revealed a family secret that I thought was quite obvious. My 2 cousins did not look anything like my Uncle and I noticed this when I was little (around 10 yrs age) and commented on a photo of one to my G.mother which she was not impressed about. I mean IT WAS OBVIOUS!! The viciousness came, because my G.mother was always praising that side and saying how wonderful they were etc, while making me and my sisters feel like we were nothing. Now, one of my cousins have been tormented about this due to health problems and not being able to find who her Father was and being very blonde and angular compared to the rest that are dark skinned and dark curly haired. Sadly the eldest found who her Father was and turned up to the funeral and was viciously rejected. I think everyone has the right to know which my sisters totally disagree with me on. I think, looking back, if I could take it back I would.

[@stellalouca4537]

The mess into a message!!! Ouaou

[@Rain-pe8nn]

I loved what the therapist said.

[@respecthewoman]

Strong family resemblance to me.....

[@janicescott7338]

For sure!

[@suechun8871]

Mel you are such a great person I know something better will come your way...your show was awesome.

[@patricemarie2960]

Mama went out the back door??? Why??? ...... If dad was decent, kind mostly??interested?? Keep him in .... your life. He's a valuable ...... asset! ........

[@bovinebeautymoo2884]

The Mom may not have know if she was first born. And many Narcissistic people will totally BELIEVE what they tell people...

[@user-lk6di5xm9p]

It upends your whole world.

[@libbylambert5631]

I totally loved this episode (the first I have ever seen)!! I am also struck by the similarities between you (Mel) and Sallie Jessie Rafael.

[@janicescott7338]

They look very much alike.

[@layasaul28]

Why are there so many stupid videos on KZbin with millions of views and then the ones with healing gifts like this one are not viral?

[@MyUnfilteredDiary]

Because lots of people are transfer mongers 😂😂. I love intellectual conversations like this! She has an episode about compatibility, you should check it out if you haven't seen it!

[@griceltorres7701]

I wouldn't have told my daddy. I would just take it to my grave.

[@nancyhoward7005]

How old is your Dad? And he finds this out around 70 or so?? God Bless him. He is probably taking it harder than the daughter

[@hanneweber9211]

I did a DNA test. I was surprised by the results. I have 10 siblings from my biodad. Only one of them has ever spoken to me.

[@meliferra1913]

She resembles him so much!

[@pgpc6448]

What’s a professional mother? Aren’t we all experienced or new mothers?

[@barbarastinson1155]

It is so sad to hear how your mom kept the secret from you. I do want to say, that her narcissistically attitude made your story about her anyways. Even in her death, you are talking about her secret, her ways, her whatever. That is what narcissist do.

[@micheleluzius8590]

She may not have had an affair at all

[@evelynmahoney3569]

I wanna know how her mom met & hooked up with this guy, the when and where, etc.

[@sabrinakeys250]

They look just alike

[@randp6486]

I would like to do one of these profiles but I'm afraid my mother may have cheated... The relationship is already strained. I don't think it's a good idea.

[@villasoka884]

You have to have a narc mother to understand! They choose who they target or disclose, whatever suits them! No consideration of the child. Her mother would be seething!

[@jennyalbers1]

They lòok alike

[@realitybites6484]

What's a professional Mom?

[@debbiehall7016]

I wouldn't have told my dad. Just awful, at his age.

[@nancyhoward7005]

Wendy looks young

[@vickischaffer9229]

These two women look just alike

[@PK-bh1ww]

They look a lot alike. My aunt kept my cousin's true bio Father's identity from her and took the truth to her grave. Finaly my cousin decided to get the truth and found out through DNA tests that the rumor was true. Her Mom's affair with a familly friend was true. Now she has 3 more half sisters and a brother who welcome her. Can you imagine???? All the sdults have passed on. Maybe that's a positive.

[@marvinabigby5509]

This lady just found out 3 months ago about her results.why jump on tv and tell the world when she hasn't really dealt with it yet.i understand her dad not coming it's too rawat that time.I noticed her sister didn't come either too soon

[@rubydawn1]

i did my dna and found out my father was not my father I don t care because the man that took care of me is my father is the way I see it . I have no interest in finding out about anything else.

[@cristinareid9923]

many mothers feel the childs fault that dared to belong to the lover nottway the story was supposed to go, I know

[@vladynick]

I found out at age 70 that my father was not my biological father. Both mom and dad dead now. SO WHAT!! Discovered a new half brother and new first cousin so all is fine!! Why the upset!!

[@nitakate10]

How do you know that her Dad isn’t denied to the fact !

[@privateperson5769]

If you DNA test - literally be be prepared for anything. Sadly, many fathers are not the biological father , or the father named on the birth cert is not the bio father either. . It is actually very common and in my experience of analysing DNA relatively extensively - I would say at least once in EVERY family, their is the 'wrong' father or a "secret" child somewhere. My father's father for example was not the man named on his B - he never knew this. My husband's DNA cousin match, does not realise her father is not the man she thinks he is, but my husband's gt uncle....it is very real and very confronting. With DNA - NO FAMILY SKELETONS CAN BE HIDDEN IN ANY CLOSETS ANY LONGER. It will all come out. Paper family trees are in truth full of errors and holes.

[@celineleeuwe1206]

She looks like her bio father

[@eagle7757]

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 KJV, Jesus Christ is the only way.

[@amandamorton-king2112]

Everyone is assuming that Wendy's Mother knew?! Unless she wasn't sleeping with her husband at all at the time (which surely he would remember) then Wendy's mother might well not have known for sure who she was pregnant by and indeed convinced herself Wendy was more likely to have been her husband's than anyone else's. She didnt keep Wendy's parentage a secret, she kept her affair (which might even have been a one-off night) a secret. And actually who our parents sleep with ISN'T really our business actually, it's THEIRS.

[@annazaman9657]

But the bio father knew he had a child. It's surely her mother who told him.

[@amandamorton-king2112]

@@annazaman9657 Very likely he had more than one child - most men do.

[@LauraRose83]

She looks a lot like Sally Jesse Raphael... Same voice too... 🙄

[@nancyhoward7005]

Sometimes DNA is wrong

[@iwonalasak-hughes5814]

This woman is very selfish put this old man for big stress up to end of his life .horrible

[@pamcomey8628]

Poor lady is on a talk show with a sizzling S

[@Nadema96]

This was pure selfish on her part to have to tell her dad And basically flip his life upside down Why not waited until he last and looked for her real Why she did not do it in more discreet way

[@michaela4499]

Bravda slava it’s not like she took the test by herself

[@pamcomey8628]

I admire you for fulfilling your dream now but you need to fix the sizzling S very irritating

[@rebeccamiller1741]

What a SELFISH young woman ... Maybe she should think of the times ...!! Maybe her mother did not know at all ..and so what she had a fling ..this chick is way too selfish