Alpha Chad Doesn't Play DnD With SNOWFLAKES | DnD Horror Story

[@rpghorrorstories]

"The last guy that looked at him funny is currently in a wheel chair." In fairness, people do look at you funny when you park in the handicapped spaces.

[@therealmaizing5328]

Yeah. I also read that as "a guy in a wheelchair looked at him funny." 🤣

[@catlover2223]

Genius comeback!

[@Theokal3]

Brillant come back XD

[@KollbjornYT]

Ooooooh! That was good!

[@7thsealord888]

Excellent.

[@FriendofFantasy]

As an ex marine with over 100 confirmed kills, Sparkles needs to take a chill pill and smell the roses. Being kind and caring is dope.

[@wastelandgames9409]

Thank you, being merciful and loving is not weak and cowardly

[@Vivian-eo3qc]

oh. I love your username and profile picture

[@avandorhu-3389]

In the words of a wise man "Be strong enough to be gentle"

[@MWH12085]

Nothing screams Alpha male like telling people you are.

[@WolfgangDoW]

Alphas tend to be full of bugs tbh Not even beta release, shouldn't be in the open for public testing yet lol

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

@@WolfgangDoW You shoulda seen Ealy Access males 💀

[@keshagriffin3375]

The ultimate cringe

[@ZweihanderKnight]

A famous man once said "Any man who must say 'I am the alpha' is no true alpha" ...or something like that I dunno \_(O_o)_/

[@heroicheart6911]

The weakest dog is the loudest.

[@mojpiesto]

Sparkles is the definition of an internet tough guy

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

I have a feeling that Sparkles is a 4channer straight outta /pol/ 💀

[@mojpiesto]

@@ShitpostingJoJo nah I don't think so, doesn't sound like the type

[@mojpiesto]

@@ShitpostingJoJo he actually reminds me a lot of Tonkasaw, if people still remember that story

[@IejirKothar]

@@mojpiesto This whole story sounds made up

[@mojpiesto]

@@IejirKothar It does, but I did meet people like that so I am inclined to believe it may be real

[@einfangirl2351]

How can anyone treat a capibara like that. They are adorable and a pacifistic capibara village sounds hecking adorable

[@AdiG1]

Can you imagine the exchange with Captain Ego-Trip, though? Mayor: Good day to you, my fine fellows! If you need provisions, you need only ask. Ego: GIMME YER LUNCH MONEY, NERD! Mayor: Is your barbaric friend here a little...touched?

[@Sanodi21]

For being an 'alpha male', Sparkles' ego and 'manliness' made snowflakes look like iron shields with how fragile they were. Especially with no one picking the fight he wanted with him to establish dominance, which props to everyone for restraining themselves.

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

Ironically enough, in life, you often learn that those who are truly strong in character are those who aren't afraid to show weakness in front of others, because they know that their weaknesses aren't the only thing that defines them. THOSE are the real chads.🗿👌 People like sparkles are just wannabes -.-U

[@SteakSauceIceCream]

@@ShitpostingJoJo this is not true. Showing weakness shows your lack of alpha. Try crying in front of a woman you're interested in and see if she give you the time of day..... She won't.

[@davidkoudelka10]

@@ShitpostingJoJo Well said One Menacing Shitpost, well said!❤🗿

[@KingZNIN]

@@SteakSauceIceCream are you sure? I didn't have that problem with my old girlfriend a while back.

[@rootfish2671]

Toxic masculinity surrounds his fragile male ego like a security blanket

[@wolfherojohnson2766]

I had this “Alpha” mindset when I was TEN and it was only because I was obsessed with Wolves. Makes you wonder how they have less maturity than a ten year old

[@ShiKageMaru]

Sounds like Sparkles recently found some douchebag influencer that he is now basing his entire personality off of. Very original. Super unique. A paragon of following one's own path.

[@Vahktang]

Sparkles: “follows no man” Hermit: “kewl, which way should we go then? Towards my village? Which only I know the way to among the people here?”

[@aquaticcatfey]

The "therapy" story gets even _worse._ According to comments: a homebrew "Soothe Trauma" spell, compared by OP to "squeezing years of good therapy into a six second sixth level spell," _already existed in-game,_ meaning that this player had even _less_ of an excuse.

[@KentaroMiyamoto21]

Pretty sure a real "Alpha" wouldn't need to brag about it all the time.

[@therealmaizing5328]

Exactly. It makes me wonder who he was trying to convince.

[@TigerW0lf]

A real man shows his self security with actions, not words!💪

[@darklord884]

That situation where OP tells Sparkles that he might as well attack him needs a touch of that Joshua Graham monologue: "Three reasons as to why that would be a bad idea. One, although I am a missionary and a pacifist, do not think me incapable or unwilling to defend myself. Secondly, if you are to attack my tribe, me or anyone else from the party, know that you are not just striking at one person, but the member of a strong, loyal community. Gods willing, you will not leave this village. And three, which to you might seem innocuous but it is the most crucial, doing bad deeds to good people hurts the soul."

[@tinycrimester]

so... sparkles wanted all the NPCs to be lvl 20 badasses who could take care of all the monsters themselves, so that the PCs could just turn in their adventuring chops and become farmers or something? what's his endgame, really?

[@Jokervision744]

He was dumb... unless the story is someone's interpretation of someone, making this fabricated story... Hard to believe that someone as simple as the character got anywhere with ttrpgs.

[@Normaschthewanderer]

Sums up the airship completely.

[@K_i_t_t_y84]

Sparkles and Bob should play together, they both sound like peas in a pod.

[@ShyBiiteVT]

Any game with those two together would devolve into them shouting at each other over whose more manly and should be the party leader.

[@BlueBeluga]

You don’t play with “snowflakes” because you’re cringe. I don’t play with “snowflakes” because I’m Floridian and get no snow. We are not the same.

[@keshagriffin3375]

Okay same

[@GarkKahn]

As someone who lives in a city without snow since 1976 i'm glad those dudes can't get past the internet

[@silentdrew7636]

The rare Good Florida Man.

[@BlueBeluga]

@@silentdrew7636 My FloridaMan energy is reserved only for "Alpha Males" and TERFS. No one else deserves to get an alligator thrown at them.

[@davidkoudelka10]

Lol I just got the joke.🤣 It's so obvious but it took me secend to realize it lol

[@tylercoddington1990]

Question, since you started doing rpgglory stories on Friday have you thought about sharing your own glory story with us?

[@realdragon]

DnDoge stories

[@Mae_Dastardly]

Dude stopped reading berserk at the black swordsman arc and went "ong guts is literally me"

[@kariissmol9172]

Whenever people call themselves Alpha, my brain swirrs off to the Omegaverse trope in Fanfiction and hooooo ho boy.

[@UnholyCameraman]

Nuggets of Truth: The Alpha-Beta thing was a fallacy coming from a misinterpretation by a zoologist (who later is trying to correct his mistake to no avail). The reality of it is that the sample group he followed are following a family-oriented mindset where it goes from the youngest to the most respected with the least connected to the pack (normally an extended relative such as an uncle) would be the last to scrape off the remains. That method was more to deter mooching, strengthen their pack, and ensure survival of the group by securing their future, which is their way of being the fittest. In some pack, the mother "wears the pants", some has the father lead, and in some others, they swap roles depending on which one could lead better at the time. It is very strange that it is usually the insecure men and women who would be thumping their chest and claim to be proud of their kind while they demean and misappropriate our many cultures for an ideal that was wholly unfit for the survival of the group and our heritages. If they wished to begin with themselves as an Alpha, then they should be prepared to kneel down to their ends as Omega finds them absolutely.

[@Fixti0n]

I dont play with Snowflakes, but that is because you need to walk on eggshells around them and they blow up over nothing. In this case, Sparkles was the snowflake, and i woudnt like to play with him.

[@KingZNIN]

That's because the I'm big and strong so please like me people are the actual snowflakes.

[@Fixti0n]

@@KingZNIN i belive the term snowflake is used for those who are hung up and obsessed with how special and uniqe they are, and are also super fragile in their sense of self. It sais nothing about your politics or anything, but how i see things, snowflakes are a lot more common on the tumblr crowd then on 4chan, to say it like that. Still, its not an absolute, and in my opinion, the snowflakes on the right are way more anoying then the once on the left. But id rather avoid all snowflakes all together, the only snow i like are that wich falls from the sky in the winter.

[@KingZNIN]

@@Fixti0n is there a difference between being special and demanding to be treated like your special like I referenced?

[@realrealwarpet]

Despite, that theme, not being a bad idea for a character to deal with, i think only one character of mine has that in her backstory…and she actively denies thats what it was. “He really helped me out, so i owed him” Also, she’s probably my darkest and most depressing character, given her theme is “what happens when a stars flame goes out” so she has heavy themes including depression, self harm, and…well, were those things lead. Luckily for her, that doesn’t have to be where she goes.

[@quox3987]

2 good things to know “Alpha males” only exist in captive animals, therefore “alpha men” need to be on someone else’s leash, probably their parents. Alpha, in terms of programming, is the most basic form of a program where the idea of what it’s supposed to be starts taking shape, but is still far, FAR, *FAR* from stable, let alone worth showing off. In fact alpha is the state before beta in programming and the beta version is the one you usually show off before you release the full version. In short, alpha males are bugged NPCs.

[@realdragon]

The first scientist who observed and defined alpha male later said he was wrong about it. And "alpha male" in wilderness doesn't always fight, there was case of leader of pack of wolves who was very submissive and wanted to avoid bloodshead, his pack wasn't small either

[@marybdrake1472]

It's funny when some over sensitive self proclaimed "alpha" calls other people "snowflakes" while demonstrating how fragile they are. Then they will turn around and try to call you out for being too "political" and "oversensitive". Project much? All that aside, Simba has got to be the chill cat in the world. He has reach the peak of Zen or something. 😺

[@indumatipngtuber2790]

Sparkles sounds like he's a fedora with arms given human flesh.

[@IejirKothar]

sparkles sounds made up. Like literally every single comment sparkles alegedly made is a trope argument about rightwing men made by the left lol

[@indumatipngtuber2790]

@@IejirKothar Do you have proof?

[@IejirKothar]

Are you asking me to prove sparkles doesn't exist? Cause that's a falacy it's impossible to prove a negative. My stance stems from the fact that the isolated behavior and quoted language use are so cartoonist that it comes across like what some thinks an "alpha Chad" would speak and behave rather than how they actually behave. Compare it for instance to the other stories these kinds of channels talk about where the player and they're characters are talked about in more details. IE "they're pretty normal most of the time, we've been in a few games with the before etc. In this story they literally only describe them as the behavioral trope. So yeah it sounds like it was a made up story tailor made to wind up on channels like this.

[@matunusdonnerhammer3423]

@@IejirKothar Don't forget: This is the internet! This is an online game, not a group of players meeting at a game store. I found stories like these to be slightly unrealistic before, because people like Sparkles were not the most likely to play D&D in the times before social media, but things have changed.

[@KingZNIN]

@@IejirKothar I do find it odd that it's almost always the right wing people that are made to look bad from those stories that calls them fake.

[@minimalbstolerance8113]

Nice little reference from OP to the Navy Seal copypasta. Been a while since I heard that one.

[@sharkjumpingwalrus6744]

Aside from avoiding subjects that the group says is not acceptable and letting your NPC's fail by rolling for them, I have one thing to say. When writing villains for a table top, pragmatism is important. If your raiders captures a bunch of nobodies in the wilderness, and have two of them beg for mercy, than naturally offering to let them join if they manage to loot a particular troublesome settlement will be more beneficial to the raiders. Then have the raiders take collateral in case the players bail the first chance they get, and set up defenses in case the players come back with back up.

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

-Alphas: Only the strong Survive 💪🗿 -Also Alphas, when stung by a tiny wild mosquito somewhere in Latinoamérica: *_Dies from Malaria_* ⚰️💀🦟

[@FnrrfYgmSchnish]

After refusing to put on any bug-spray to show how they're "not afraid of a bunch of bugs"...

[@ShitpostingJoJo]

@@FnrrfYgmSchnish Exactly 🤣

[@bernadmanny]

Refuses to take medication because they were made personally by Bill Gates in his kitchen

[@marmelaaden]

Could we please get an ultra-closeup of Lucky? :)

[@DnDDoge]

Your wish shall be granted

[@marmelaaden]

@@DnDDoge Yay! Thank you!

[@Vahktang]

16:39 “I should have some special item or trait because ‘it’s part of my backstory’.” Kewl, good idea. And because it is gone now that game play has started it’s a great plot hook that you have to get it back.

[@Theokal3]

Sparkles screams "overcompensating for lack of self-confidance" so much it's kinda hilarious.

[@TigerKirby215]

Sparkles is what happens when you supplement your lack of a woman's touch with Call of Duty matches and workout videos on TikTok.

[@vortega472]

OH I LOVE SIMBA! That face, and that cute widdle nose. I want to boop it. I'd say the first "That Guy" in today's story was a Tool - but tools are supposed to be useful. The Paladin story - another anti-tool - As Doge says, "No D&D is better than bad..." The last story - I sense a theme today.

[@edwardramos4591]

"Any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king."-Tywin Lannister

[@StellaDraco]

People who include extremely dark themes like rape, etc. generally fall into one of three categories in my experience. There are people who legitimately enjoy that and want to play it out in games because they (hopefully) can't do it in real life. There are people who have experienced these things in real life and need a way to process their feelings about it, so we use tabletop games to do that if all players consent. And there are people who just want to be dark and edgy. In my experience, most of the people I've dealt with who incorporate these themes fall into the first or second category. In this case, he sounds like someone in the first or third category and he shouldn't have included that without consent, much less without even giving the players a roll to prevent it. My own group uses a lot of these themes in our games because most of us have dealt with these things in real life and it really does help to play them out. I can understand that not everyone wants these in a game, and it should absolutely be included only if everyone has agreed to it, but it does really annoy me when people seem to assume that anyone who includes rape or dark themes in a game is automatically doing that because they enjoy it.

[@SilverJ17]

A part of me feels 'Sparkles' would likely be out-alpha'd by a group of so-called alphas like himself. I can only imagine such a group wouldn't last very long regardless.

[@APerson-ws4cw]

I don't think there's an 'alpha' alive that gets pissy about other men not being manly enough

[@malamothe]

If a guy declares himself alpha it's really best to just drop them then and there. It's not going to get better.

[@GundamAngelicDevil]

I feel like he’d be the guy with ILS at the gym.

[@GarkKahn]

6:37 Well i have one dude bothering me at recess during high school and now he's underground Since internet gives me the gift of being anonimous i'm not afraid to admit that despite being an awful person his music is actually very good

[@Andi_Frost_XPR0PR18]

Refreshing story 😌 I needed that after the comments section on one of your videos from the other day.

[@Andi_Frost_XPR0PR18]

Btw, nice choice of gameplay footage. I love crisis core!

[@Nr4747]

At 6:34, I half-expected Jonathan Frakes to come out with "fiction, we made that up".

[@AdiG1]

The part where the "smartest" character decides to use the HEALER as a trap-defusing projectile tickled me.

[@leovicctanteo4537]

Doge is my community safespot nowadays

[@REfan2002]

Sparkles, you're playing DnD wrong.

[@ryankoopacanada]

Agreed, bullying people in OR out of game isn’t it. I will never understand why people do this. Are there people out there that are so insecure, they have to show off there “Alpha-ness”? Those people are just sad

[@bayzaranya]

Exactly what therapy is- self hypnotism to make yourself feel better.

[@inky5574]

Sparkles sounds like he would be one of those guys who'd show up in the IAmVeryBadass subreddit.

[@dallen3000]

Sparkles wasn't lying about the dude in a wheelchair, he just didn't mention that it was a pre-existing condition

[@GodOfPlague]

Dog eat dog world nooo poor Doge. You're making him a cannibal sparkles, you monster

[@vampire9545]

Lol t the DM should of allowed the mind spell thing, then the paladin left her for EVERYONE else 😆

[@ZX-Gear]

I almost miss the days that we got bullied and shoved into lockers for our hobbies.

[@7thsealord888]

Story #1 - Sparkles had Epic levels of overcompensation going here, so much so that his behavior zooms straight past Sad and well into downright Tragic. I don't blame the group one iota for booting him.. Story #2 - Tried talking, it hasn't worked. Theo needs to learn about CONSEQUENCES. He does something objectionable from now on, then he suffers from it. He eats a Goblin, give him a horrendous gastric problem, then get him away from the rest of the party, and hit him with a huge Goblin horde. No fixed number of Goblins, just keep them coming until he runs out of HP. If you are feeling really nasty, have the Goblins capture him alive and then start getting ..... inventive. Have the rest of the party rescue him. Eventually. Maybe. If appropriate. Story #3 - Eeeessshhhhh. One of those instances where the DM should have just shut it down immediately. She wants therapy, go to a professional. Story #4 - Paladin was a dick. Another instance where you have to wonder why DMs and other players put up with this. I am glad OP has found a better group since. Story #5 - 'The Mangler' might have been funny, in certain games. Having the party captured purely by Referee fiat, that's the sort of thing that a lot of Players really don't like, but it can make for an interesting scenario. But the ...... requirements for joining the gang in this instance ....... Yeah, totally not on, and the party's reaction was 100% justified. Hard to understand what this DM was thinking - did he honestly believe the Players would go with this?

[@saintjamesent.866]

Ok the cheese thing gets a pass, thats funny

[@SilverJ17]

Is this the Skyrim guy playing Barbarian again? Bears at that point of the game can still wreck you mano e mano, if you don't watch it, so four at level three nearly doing you in makes sense.

[@black69071]

Yes there's a lot men like "sparkles". Look at clowns like Fresh and Fit.

[@Flashlight237]

Hey, just because limburger smells like somebody died doesn't mean it's inedible!

[@robertwildschwein7207]

7:25 Now I kinda feel bad for him, but he was destroying the Campaign.

[@Vahktang]

“follows no man” Well, the hermit’s name is Éowyn , so, it’s ok to follow her. No, she is not hot.

[@lorddreemurr]

Love starting my morning with the doge

[@UltimatTacoman]

As I heard the "alpha male, soy boy" stuff right at the top, my mouth gradually formed a horrified grimace that I am, thus far, unable to remove. Great.

[@dalejhunter1]

For the Barbarian story, I feel like that one was either A) hastily written without truly including the other characters of said story or B) is one of those "not story" stories that are made but never actually happened, since the whole thing sounds ridiculous. OP likely just read a few Horror Stories on the subreddit and thought "I could make one too", made a list of characters that serve no involvement in the story, literally only listed down the bare minimum, and called it a day. Heck, I put more effort into this comment than the OP put into a sentence of his story, since he never really elaborated on anything.

[@LTMS-24]

All the real alpha males I have ever met don't even use the term. Also the alpha is the leader. So you can be an alpha without being big and strong.

[@wastelandgames9409]

Thank you

[@dionnejinn3789]

Hey, at least this time in the second story, the Skyrim player wasn't the problem. Nice to see that, because I love both Skyrim and D&D, and it always saddens me to see how many horror stories come out of Skyrim players trying to play D&D as if it was a single-player computer game with idiot AI running the npcs...

[@robertwildschwein7207]

The chaddest chad to ever play Dungeons and Dragons 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪🏻💪🏼💪🏽💪🏾💪🏿💪🏾💪🏽💪🏼💪🏼💪🏻💪💪

[@peterriverajr6899]

Capybara folk would be adorable

[@GarkKahn]

14:01 If being r**** is therapy then i don't want to know her thoughts about torture

[@ChaosCounseling]

Someone sounds like they are insecure about there manhood

[@Jokervision744]

If I felt like that I would have to include some redline shit, then I would try to inquire someone who knows how to play them out. Still in my imaginary adventures as a kid I was just usually camping in the tiny forest patch or just taking out some mutants or something inspired by monsters from games. Stomping on other players would threaten the fact that we are even able to play something out of our own asses. With nice rhythm it's better than anything on tv or tube.

[@Yakoiisyaboi]

Please give all of your cats scritches for me please!

[@DnDDoge]

Will do!

[@seto_kaiba_]

I’m personally cool with those themes-I mean some games are more graphic-like Game of Thrones. But him adding it AFTER discussing it beforehand is a DICK MOVE

[@slagarcrue85]

Sparkles that’s the least masculine name I’ve ever heard in my life. Tazzer face your name is know acceptable.

[@SquirrelGamez]

A lot of what Barbarian did is pretty normal behavior for people new to roleplaying... I've seen a lot worse.

[@robertwildschwein7207]

I love how the guy from the last story "wasn't sexist because the raiders raped the men too".

[@olserknam]

Half the things the barbarian did don't even sound that bad, the dude was just having fun with his character. Though trying to kill other characters is a dick move.

[@fred_derf]

I've been playing D&D since the Basic Set came out and in over 4 decades r*** has never been a part of any game I've been involved with. I guess I've been lucky...

[@destroyerinazuma96]

If you have to yell you're XYZ that usually means you're insecure about not being it. Btw affirmations are fine but they better be "I can do it" or "I believe in myself" than "I'm buzzword".

[@Vision667]

I'm sorry but Simba looks hi AF...

[@DnDDoge]

that's his relaxed face

[@domesticmh4567]

based and Simbapilled

[@symantares9171]

Sparkles seems to want to be the next Andrew Tate

[@akun50]

In the Sparkles story - Talking about Alpha/Beta standings is just... sad and cringe. In the Barbarian story - It's likely the OP is still learning to make things concise. Not everyone knows how to trim the proverbial fat of a story. Either that, or they realized that certain stories involving other characteres might have more identifying details than they wished to share or were ultimately redundant but forgot to trim the cast list after this choice. In the Minmax story - Best way to shutdown the whole "I'm racist towards you" bit is to make your character the same race as him. As for the rest of the group, I'm amazed that this was tolerated. I would've been pushing to either boot him or simply left myself after the third campaign he ruined.

[@oldplace2844]

Simply sounds like the GM failed to control the situation. Sadly, I'm basically a forever GM no matter where I go, so controlling hostile players has been a necessity over the years. Either these outbursts were rather infrequent or the GM should have ejected him. I listen to critique, but once someone cannot separate in game and out of game, it's time for the them to take a break or go elsewhere.

[@KamakazeTaco]

No part of that Sparkles story sounded real. Like this dude was trying to fit as many Chad cliches into a single person as possible. Right up there with the "This snowflake got offended because I said merry christmas and cried about being triggered and wanting an inclusive safe space".

[@IvanV-g3y]

"You're an alpha? That's so gaaaaay!" ^ Use that

[@DisneyChar]

Gotta agree with sparkles here, never give an alpha douche bro a pacifist punching bag.

[@superiorrule34]

If you have to Announce your an alpha your not one rather your trying to Convince yourself your one.

[@Rtrstormghost327]

Okay he is nuts

[@Slyslug]

Player doesn't understand playing a character, basically

[@Eien.]

My problem with half of these stories are "you can play whatever you want ... but not that way". What's really the point in this idea that D&D is about playing what and how you want when its more like play as your group wants.

[@KingZNIN]

It's a group game. If you just want to kill everyone in the group for your own fun then don't be surprised when you get kicked.

[@professorsponge1554]

Story 1. Okay so this is a 'smallest dogs bark the loudest' story. Someone who desperately wants to be an alpha but thinks being an alpha is being a douche. However these days when a story revolves around a player with as wild a personality as Sparkles, I gotta wonder if it happened as OP claims. Not saying its not deserved: but giving Sparkles a nickname like that does show a baseline contempt from OP. Just sayin. So sparkles was quiet and reserved at first and OP and him got along fine at first. 'Most recent session' implying multiple sessions with him, and it suggests they've known each other... maybe a month, maybe a little more? So, this is the first time Sparkles has spoken up? Admittedly it could just be a week or two but OP only gets a taste of his personality now? Admittedly he's not a regular but the other players should know by now, and OP IS participating and he's friends with the DM so he should know about Sparkle's behavior. Hoist the first Red Flag. The way OP describes him, it sounds more like Sparkles was trying to play D&D like skyrim, and that's only ever heard philosophy through video games and anime. As for the political stuff, I have my doubts that it was said, but what's being presented is the same dead-brain lazy argument on the level of calling people racist and bigot. Its the type of comment used to shut down an conversation rather than present a argument. While I could see a dead-brain person saying such a useless thing, I also have to say its an easy thing to smear on someone in an anonymous reddit post when you don't like them. It sound more, OP, that Sparkles just didn't like you. Maybe you did or said something and you pissed him off, or maybe you wrote this when you felt your feelings were hurt. I'm kinda on the fence now. Snerk. I love how Dogge and I are thinking the same thing, but likely for different reasons. Unless Sparkles is 14 I doubt he said any of that outburst. There's a big part of me that leaves this story thinking OP exaggerated that ending. I don't think it happened the way he says. I'd believe he was a creative consultant, and a fight did happen, but that's when the believability ends. Especially that condescending crack about how Sparkles looks. That screams 'I wrote this story because I'm incredibly petty.' 'I don't want to judge him too harshly' You wrote this entire story to take the piss out of him, just insulted his appearance, and made him sound like an ogre and now you're trying to make yourself look good. nah. piss off. Story 2: So far it sounds like someone being let loose in a world where they can do anything for the first time and treating it like GTA with godmode enabled. Common new player stuff. Probably just treating the game like he would a video game and doesn't know there's lore. Story 3: Very short story, so I'll try to read into it. So female player thinks its okay to brainwash male NPCs into being the sexuality she likes, and so she can build a harem like pokemon and thinks forcing someone to love you is completely okay. I bet if I asked if it'd be okay if the sexes were reversed she'd start screeching like your average Mastodon user. Story 4. From the title I'm betting we have a guy who tries to win at D&D because if he's more powerful no one can tell him what to do. Ugh, another that guy paladin story. Its almost as cliche as a rogue that guy at this point. So this behavior is known to the party and you all went along with it. Could have kicked him out, talked to him, maybe played a different system (try AD&D 2e, watch power gamers wither when you tell them stats are 3d6 in order, you roll for HD, there's no feats, no bonus HP unless con is +15, and wizards get 1 spell a day at 1st level. I love it.) So... this guy is just being a massive bully and no one is doing anything about it. OP's party sounds like its full of great people. DM could have shut him down, but completely allowed this behavior. OH okay, so... his behavior was permissible because... the other players went along with it? Um... question: Why? If this was happening as badly as you claim, OP, why did no one ever step up? Either give you advice, have your back, try to talk paladin down... were you playing with a group full of dickheads or were you in actually just being a spineless wuss, or did you just put no effort into your game and a casual combo of abilities could steam roll you? If your players steamroll your encounters: you make the encounters harder. You give them something they can't handle. I don't think Paladin was the toxic one, I think you were just butt hurt that you couldn't handle a player who knew the game better than you did. Story 5: Okay, everyone involved are teenagers. noted. I'm curious what system this is being run in, but I gotta assume its 5e, because why wouldn't it be? OP is really making this out to be like they're playing with satan when I'm not really getting that impression from DM. He had edgelord characters? Oh no, clearly he was the worst possible person to play with /sarcasm. Okay, so he pulled a BS move on his first time as DM. Teenagers aren't the best first time players or DMs, I'm shocked by this. Okay, that took a left turn quick. Wait. You kept playing after he said that!? Fuckin' bull shit. Come on... Only two players quit and the rest kept going? Come on man, not buying it. And there's the -ist buzzword and I'm done. This didn't fucking happen. OP wrote this to try and impress reddit, which is just fuckin' sad.

[@PaladinGear15]

Real men don't slag people off or beat their chests like gorillas, people who are overcompensating for what little they have in the trouser department do that >_>

[@mr.rathalos1155]

KINDA MESSED UP! dude what she was trying to do was totally messed up

[@iank472]

Wait a minute! Sad 'Chad Alpha Male' with an incredibly fragile ego? ANDREW TATE PLAYS D&D?!

[@PaladinGear15]

I know no one said "Trump" in the first story... but I'm just saying, dude's probably got a red hat at home.

[@TheFaulkned]

Why is ot rather anytime you mention simba o has to squint at my screen?

[@redonyx5428]

everytime some idiot goes on about some alpha nonsense, my mind immediately goes to the omegaverse and the hilarity found within.

[@RiveroftheWither]

SOOOOO much mpreg

[@raymondharnack4160]

Super cringe on that first story, I’m very conservative and run a game with a Marxist, trans female, atheist, a Australian and an Ex marine proud boy. there is No place for any of that kind of shit in my games…. I won’t put up with it. We play this game to escape this shitty world we live in.

[@codydecoster9131]

So the first story is super fake but Sparcles sounds like the most fun one in the imaginary group.

[@mizzjade2052]

The middle story was pointless why include it?

[@thomasferris1905]

Red flag is the DM of sparkles continues to say the NPC is "his character". I would love to hear the story from the other side see what else is going on.

[@DnDDoge]

As I understood it, OP wasn't the DM, but more of a guest character.

[@Darklight689]

I call bs on the alpha chad story

[@geeknupthenight7417]

Wrong use of beta