Do less, become happier, says Yale cognitive scientist | Laurie Santos

[@Fellowtellurian]

I worked hard throughout my 20s. I got into a Iiv league graduate program, traveled the world and worked in different cities, climbed to corporate ladder and made a lot of money. It wasn't until I relaxed, stopped working after 5:00, and gardening that I really found my happiness. It's crazy how little you really need to be happy. A small piece of land that you OWN, that you can cultivate and see the things you care about grow. If you have the time, I recommend you join a community garden and allow yourself to reconnect with the natural world. When someone new happens around you like spring flowers or a new wasp nest forms, allow yourself to stop and explore it with your senses. How it the flower constructed, how do the colors change, what insects come to it. There is a MAGNIFICENT world around you playing out. Human civilization is just a tiny portion of that incredible system. Allow yourself to take it all in and find balance. I know that sounds silly but honestly, never been happier than I am today because I stopped to SEE nature.

[@matthewstoffel5446]

I'm starting my 20s and I've been hustling hard but its all definitely draining. I'm working on finding that balance and nurturing myself, its funny you mention plants they have a huge impact in my life. Thanks for sharing this

[@ktracy9241]

So true. Happiness can definitely be found in observing nature. And it doesn’t cost a penny.

[@ninazapalaENTP]

I just love this so much. I believe like you we don’t need all the stuff to make us happy. We need to find joy in what we love and if you don’t know what you love. Focus on getting to know yourself. It’s the grandest adventure of all. I know this for sure as a former consumption addict, who now helps people figure themselves out - sans all the stuff. 🩵🙋🏼‍♀️🕊

[@8Frostie]

the peak of my day is watering my plants and if any of them is pushing out a new leaf im just so happy

[@dianateabag]

Yeah but you said that piece of land helped you… to get they sadly you have to overwork yourself 😅

[@yojasmagic]

I got into the habit of actively appreciating the little things in life. I looked up the history of trash cans, for example, and now when I walk past a trash can in a city somewhere, I try to imagine where the materials came from, and who made it, and why here specifically. The knowledge isn't what matters, but appreciating that something is there, and paying attention to specific details about it, helps calm the mind.

[@kdub6593]

Great attitude!👍

[@lynnsumay94]

This is awesome!!

[@markhirstwood4190]

'actively'? Why specify 'active'? If you're appreciating someting, that's it, no need to qualify it with an extra word. Did you get 'actively' from reading Robert Greene or did you just pick it up from someone else in the last 10 years or so? It's like saing there's an 'active shooter' in a mall. No, there's a man with a gun. He can't be passive, so there's no need to add 'active' It's cop-talk, that is, how moronic people talk (and think).

[@yojasmagic]

@@markhirstwood4190 No need for the histrionics. I specified 'active' because I wanted to emphasize that it is a conscious effort on my part. English isn't my first language, so if that came across differently then that's my bad.

[@danvalare]

S/O to trash cans

[@davidmitchell6873]

I am a 57 hour year old divorced male. I had to take an early retirement for health reasons. I don't have nearly as much as would if I was still working but in the last two years I have finally learned how to relax. I don't have many friends on purpose. I live in a nice little apartment with my dog and we gave to the trails and parks in the area every morning for a few hours, then we come home eat lunch take a nap and just live a quiet dignified life.

[@wheretimehasnovalue9343]

nice.. love it

[@junepearl7993]

@@wheretimehasnovalue9343 sounds perfect. Hope you have many happy years ahead!

[@andeleon6838]

wym 57 hour year old? did you just celebrate your bday? congrats :))

[@strawberrycloud2807]

That sounds so relaxing and wonderful.

[@fleurosea]

Living the dream

[@backcountrybushcraft]

Doing less will also let you focus more on what’s important and give you a sense of self worth with those goals are completed. I used to find myself, a lot of the time, doing goals and never finishing them. Only to find myself feeling that I was confirming my self doubts (which weren’t true). It’s a vicious cycle and having the mindfulness to see it, is like having an epiphany. Break that cycle, be kind to yourself, and don’t let ego get in the way. No one’s perfect, but everyone can strive to be better.

[@nithesh.areddy507]

👍

[@Jac0bIAm]

very well said

[@coolioso808]

The vicious cycle of hustle culture is perpetuated by our shared socio-economic system; monetary-market capitalism. It isn't a healthy or sustainable system, yet we are still primarily driven by it. We worker bees work harder and long for less pay compared to our productivity, while a small group of insanely wealthy owners spend their time and money influencing politics, laws and consolidating more control of resources. Why do we allow it? Partly because people aren't taught the root problem in school. Traditionally school was made to create obedient worker bees, not critical thinkers. If we had more critical thinkers we wouldn't sit around and take this stupid system, we'd collectivize and build a new one, because we have the strength in numbers, but we don't know it yet. Or some of us know it, but we haven't a critical mass of us to unite around a common goal of system change with a shared strategy. For those looking for answers you may find it at Michael Tellinger's YT channel and the website about One Small Town is Changing The World. Community cooperation, collaboration and co-ownership to create sustainable abundance and prosperity. One step at a time, one weekly three hour shift at a time.

[@eggxecution]

yes this was my problem I set up multiple goals but ended up getting lost along the way what I did was I focused on one thing and finished it before proceeding to another thing. I also think one thought at a time. I used to do a task but think or worry about something else. But narrowing my goals and doing one thing at a time greatly increased my productivity

[@catherinewilson1079]

It took me 65 years to learn and understand this concept. Perfection is NOT desirable! Being kind to others and loving IS! And being this way with oneself can be the MOST productive❣️

[@physioweng]

The sad truth is that, as a millennial you can’t even survive without hustling (unless you have wealthy boomer parents). Someone out there is always willing to do more than you and take your place. We did not choose the hustle culture, the hustle culture chose us. We are all just adapting to the system that’s intrinsically flawed.

[@CantPickTheNameIwant]

I think this is true when work from 9 to 5

[@internetceo]

Thats exactly what I see. FEDs printed money for themselves and their friends and now a wealthy woman wants to tell me to relax. Sure, pay my bills and I'll relax!

[@CGSevenxPhoto]

We're in constant survival mode and it won't turn out well once we're old.

[@FloridaManConstruction]

The boomers screwed you guys over completely.

[@jeffreykeene6913]

Take your place from what?

[@kierlak]

Not feeling "good enough" is often rooted in childhood. Our external critics when growing up often become our internal ones. As adults we have a choice to practice being enough. Things such as positive self-talk, journalling, stopping and acknowledging our progress. Inner child work can be helpful: statements such as: "You don't have to do this or that. Just be YOU. You are enough. I love you just as you are. Always will". Our self worth doesn't equal our achievements/accomplishments. It's often about accepting ourselves just as we are ❤

[@lizblock9593]

As someone with a chronic medical condition, I can just about handle the basics (laundry, groceries, dishes) and I'm so grateful I can do those because it could be so much worse. I've had to find so much patience with how little I can do. There has been so much letting go to be able to find peace in where I'm at. They say, be yourself, everyone else is taken. There could be a similar meme for, be right where you're at...

[@Reznov9185]

Take love, be happy 💌

[@patrickol4300]

Similar experience here 🙏

[@gustav.k9702]

This might be the best advice I've gotten in 3 years. As an Architecture student, having just finished up my Bachelors Degree at a highly competitive University, I'm among many who have become truly miserable, attempting to constantly best ourselves and do better all the time without (ironicallly) giving our selves room to breathe. While I'm currently applying for positions at firms all around my area, it's been a personal struggle to find true gratitude in my work because I was always pressing to do the next big thing, but now looking back on it, and making a portfolio of my work, it's truly marvelous what I've achieved. Breaking the cycle of pessimism is so important and I will think of this message every single day.

[@BusterDarcy]

Self-compassion has been a huge mind shift for me in my personal life and my career. When you stop beating yourself up for making mistakes you open yourself up to trying more and learning when your efforts don’t succeed, which leads to the progress and growth you’d been striving for but didn’t realize you were preventing by being so hard on yourself. You also just feel better and happier. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that going easy on yourself will mean you’ll stop caring and make more mistakes and slow or even reverse your progress in life or your career but it’s just the opposite. Self-compassion has the power to propel you forward and feel great doing it.

[@78town]

A counselor once told me that the next time I make a mistake and I’m hard on myself, pretend I’m a friend and record the advice o would give them. I’m a lot nicer when it’s a friend and not myself Apparently. Positive Self talk is critical.

[@pixiedustdreams]

I realized I would not judge an imaginary third person for the things I did, but cannot not judge and condemn myself for it.

[@woutervanr]

A counselor told me something similar. I first had to try and identity a coping mechanism, then why I was doing that and then if that was realistic. After that, write down advice you'd give a friend if they were dealing with that. It's really funny how that 1 perspective change suddenly makes your mind clearer and kinder. I still struggle finding the peace of mind and taking the time to go through this whole process though.

[@dvdmon]

I think one of the key pieces to this is something that was kind of glossed over a bit, not given it's central role in happiness. That is, comparison. If we didn't compare ourselves to others, we would likely not be jumping through hoops to get the things they have, but which are essentially not REQUIRED for living. Yes, there are safety systems and medical technologies that help us live to an old age, but outside of these advances, people did just fine with much less for thousands of years. But we see (in wealthy industrialized countries) our friends have cell phones, PCs, tablets, TVs, cars, and jobs that allow them to buy these things, they have vacations to foreign countries. They eat out once, twice, or seven days per week. They have creature comforts that people just 100 years ago would marvel at. We don't need all of these things, but because our parents had them, they feel like they are baseline necessities, that not having them means we are failing compared to our cohorts, and so we must do everything we can to maintain the same lifestyle, even if it means working 60 hours or more per week. Parents also push their kids to get into the best colleges and get important jobs because they see it as a reflection on them - everything is a competition for validation and admiration. As soon as you stop looking for these things and really start asking yourself the deeper questions about life and why you are here, having all these things starts to fade. They become orniments, or things that are "supposed to" make you happy and fulfilled but can never accomplish that because every time you upgrade to a newer/better thing/experience, there will be people out there that still have more/better stuff than you and you will somehow feel "lacking" compare to them. Stop comparing yourself and start looking inward at what's important.

[@pixiedustdreams]

so true. I am hurting my self because of comparison. Have been doing it my whole life. But also if i didn't, I wouldn't have achieved some things

[@arresthillary9502]

Nobody cares enough about your opinion to read all of that. Just saying that makes me happy

[@dvdmon]

@@arresthillary9502 hey, whatever makes you happy! 😁

[@dvdmon]

@@arresthillary9502 although I probably should say that apparently SOME people cared enough to read all of it, so I think your statement has been shown to be false, but again, whatever floats your boat. I will take your comment as a helpful reminder to be less verbose, although at my age it is difficult to retrain my verbose brain, lol. Also, while it may not have been meant this way, the seeming critical tone of your comment is just another type of comparison, but in this case in the opposite direction - IE - you are deficient, and I'm better than you because I wouldn't be like that. While it doesn't produce the same effects as self criticism, judgmental and critical thoughts towards others seem to have a GOAL of making us happy, because when we compare ourselves and determined we are somehow better than they are, we can justify that sense of happiness, but in the end, it's still playing the same game - using comparison with others to judge not just them, but ourselves. So while you may judge yourself superior to me in this way, you still are using the same validation mechanism to judge your self worth, and you will invariably end up unhappy when you come across people who are better/smarter/etc. In other words, it's the currency that's the problem, not your relative ability to say you are better or worse than X% of the population at something... Of course, you probably didn't read any of that, because, well, you are better than me and would never have written such a long post that "no one" would care enough to read. 🤣

[@Reletr]

​@@michaellochlann4797what you and the OP are saying is different though. Seeking to attain technologies or other things for the sake of fitting in and having a certain lifestyle is not the same as seeking to improve your skills and surroundings for the sake of a better life. No one disagrees that advances in medicine are beneficial, but advances in computers can be arguable in terms of leading a good life.

[@funnytv-1631]

The anxiety you sometimes feel is an opportunity... ...to pause ...to sit with it ...to look towards it with kindness and curiosity ...to discover something it’s been meaning to tell you Whenever tension finds you, know that it comes with an invitation to rest on your Fabulous path. Sit with the feeling and offer it kindness, knowing the earth can support you. Treat yourself with compassion, even, and especially, if anxiety is present.

[@Hungry_Tree_Ghost]

Last weekend, I was fabricating a piece of some exercise equipment that's obsolete. It was pretty stressful getting everything bent right, cut right, and I was also teaching myself how to TIG for the second time ever. As i was putting my hood down, I could see my reflection in the display as if i was face to face with myself. I said out loud while looking into my eyes "you got this brother." It actually felt like somebody else gave me a pep talk.

[@jjn6914]

This is what I've been espousing for years for myself and the teams I've led. I've pushed back on leadership who push for more productivity, more results, causing burnout and attrition. Nothing in the macro scale is meant to grow indefinitely besides cancer and space. Even in those cases, there is a terminal end point.

[@rayflyhigh]

I had to watch this three times. I needed this, thank you

[@soumyaripan5131]

Everything happens so fast now. The constant struggle to catchup in life and career..... There are many good points here. Thank you!

[@braedenmckean375]

I was in the worst state of mental health of my life the last semester out of high-school, and literally me just LIVING my final highschool summer has restored so much to my overall wellbeing. Sometimes, just being is what you need.

[@omarrashid4822]

“Sometimes just being is what you need” -I literally had the same thought the other day. Good advice.

[@ceooflonelinessinc.267]

hi

[@shanti888]

Wise beyond your years

[@shanti888]

@@omarrashid4822- just being is ALL one needs.

[@stillwalking78]

As a PhD student in a foreign land, I struggle with this urge to do more but also frustration not doing/able to do more as I intended can hurt my mental health. It is hard to make a balance between ambition and realistic slow step by step approach to reach there, as progress itself is slow in creative spaces. We need to be alone in our journey, but the loneliness sucks as well in this era. It's not 1960s anymore with the internet. Other people can be a distraction from being burn-out in work; but crowd is also a noise to our inner system and values.

[@xuanzhang1186]

It is so true. As a post-graudate student in China, I always find myself competing for the best within my peers--peer pressure. Even though I try every means to persuade myself that others' achievemnt has nothing to do with myself, I still cannot escape the menatlity of falling short. Maybe the way out is to know myself better, like Socrates once said... It's really hard to find your own inner drives when there is collecetive, societal standard put on you all the time. Still learning how to break the "social clock" and find my own identity.

[@shanti888]

You’re young. Self aware. You will find yourself. Keep working at not giving into the societal illusion. All the best.

[@teahorseguitarstraps1856]

I lived in China for 11 years. There really is a massive societal delusion around always needing to be busy, to produce things, to make more money, to do more. It is hard to carve out your own path, but worth it. 加油，你会找到属于自己的生活节奏。

[@gordonely3591]

You are a good writer , do you play music too ❓​@@teahorseguitarstraps1856

[@kasondaleigh]

She is a wonderful teacher! Great voice, easy to understand points and useful suggestions.

[@bomapdich]

I think it also heavily depends on culture. I recently left the US to return to my home country and let me tell you, my mental health has never been better. In the West, I feel like Im in a never-ending race toward something, and so is everyone. There is no stopping,. The isolation, the stress, the burden of success was really starting to wear me down. But ever since moving back and be with my family and people who really gives 2 crap about me, I've never been happier. I might make less money, but I have full time and autonomy to do what I love and be with people I love

[@hyrum_abiff4325]

Great to hear!

[@SC-gw8np]

It's great that you stopped chasing some economic phantom like others.

[@izzy706]

I love these videos! They give me relief & create a peacefulness within.

[@Onthe9thlife3730]

This video isn't wrong, but does completely ignore privilege and those who don't have the option to step back.

[@CM-xi7rr]

Well of course feudal have existed for as long as time had existed, from tribal chieftains to the monarchy of French nobles but the common man must break free from their chains of luxury. We can live free from excesses but we must focus on the basics. To enjoy the luxuries of the common world one must participate in the common world

[@justbeegreen]

My friend gave me the best to do list pad of paper with the image of a woman leaning against a pick up truck and the words, « I was once driven, but then I pulled over. » Having pets, plants/garden helps to slow down - especially if you are blessed with cats. They can teach you about the value of naps. ❤

[@OneRadicalDreamer]

I tried so hard to be an artist. I staked my identity on it, especially because I recently went through an existential crisis at the time (legitimately, not in the edgy way lol). Funny enough, letting go of that has done wonders and revealed to me a lot of baby steps to what this video is sharing. I still have a lot to learn, but I'm learning to simplify. And I'm feeling better for it.

[@Sjalabais]

Been there, done that. I burned my mental health being an overachiever, and I *felt* fine doing that. But true happiness only ever caught up with me when I geared down, started working part-time and became a parent. Life goals change over time and I'm happy for having seen several aspects of life. The above insight should come naturally with a maturing process...unless you break yourself on the way there.

[@AzonariMedia]

All good points in the video but I think one crucial one missed is doing what you are passionate about. This will make you feel like you are floating downstream instead of paddling upstream against a strong current, even though you are working hard. Find something that you love to do that will create values for society, and it will provide you with the resources you need to prosper. And then reflect on your accomplishments. This will bring happiness without burnout. At some point your passion for what you are doing may dwindle, especially after decades. Then it's time to re-evaluate and find your current passion to pursue.

[@bernardofitzpatrick5403]

Wise words 🎉

[@atelier27]

sorry to be a Debbie downer here but while this generally sounds like great advice--"Find something that you love to do that will create values for society, and it will provide you with the resources you need to prosper. " A wonderful article on the BBC website a while ago was about why people are leaving their "dream jobs" The pastry chef who worked like crazy for 6 years to be one of the best 5 star pastry chefs in London, work he loved, work he aspired to be great at and he quit because he worked 70 hours a week and didn't make enough to pay his bills. There were many others. There are a hell a lot of artists and writers who create tremendous value to society and society does not provide them with the resources they need to prosper. The things people say they value and love the most are very often the things they do not support financially. All creative people I know spend 80% of their time marketing and 20% of their time, if lucky, doing what they love. There are always unicorns but they are rare. I used to be one of the "do what you love people. Not anymore. Do what makes you money, gives you health insurance and groceries and then do what you love so that you don't have to make a living off of it and start to not love it anymore.

[@jdata]

Passion driven careers are great for many reasons, but I would argue burnout is common. Nothing accelerates burnout like a practitioner realizing their field is full of injustice, egos, and selfish behavior, etc., even though it's supposed to be a realm fueled by passion and not necessarily profit or greed.

[@AzonariMedia]

@@jdata That is true, and I did get burned out after 30 years in my IT career, and a good part of it was the politics. However, at the time I didn't know this trick: volunteer to do tasks no one else wants to do and soon you will be rewarded and given more power and control and even promotions. Then you can focus back on your passion. Another option is to start your own business and control your destiny more, but of course not everyone wants to do that. Having said all that, 30 years was a pretty good run.

[@jdata]

@@AzonariMedia 30 years is a great run. I'm sure you are well accomplished!

[@5avan10]

As they say in Italy, "La dolce far niente;" The sweetness of doing nothing.

[@k.d.5786]

Great message here! Valuable message here! Thank you!

[@ceooflonelinessinc.267]

Well, it comes all down to, if you have the money to do less. Many people cant do "less", because they are poor.

[@websurfer5772]

This is helpful to hear. I like that Laurie focuses on how to be happy. 😊

[@chrispiorecki]

how to

[@jorgejorge57]

Beautiful. Thank you Laurie. God bless you.

[@allythearts5439]

Im doing what makes me happy Staying away from toxic people and places Im minding my business that is how i stay sane (happy) I really do not care what others think or say 😂 I'm happily fed up ❤

[@julietagreco2799]

So true! Excellent video!

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

After 30+ years of work in production, switching to authoring my series of fantasy books ("Diamond Dragons") was the best thing I ever did. Award-winning work without the hassle of teaching, live performances, costuming, fight choreography, electronic props, events, etc. And I have REALLY been enjoying crafting the 260+ illustrations. 💪😎✌️ 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨

[@41ankitt]

I am a millennial and I experienced burnout at age 23 ! .... Initially I didn't know what was happening to me but I lost the motivation that used to drive me in life .... After a long search I realised that it was burnout ! .... I immediately changed my priorities focussing more on meaning rather than just pure ambition ! .... Soon I found something which was more meaningful than the material ambition that I was chasing .... The first thing I did was to cut down on my work and studies .... Then slowly I started focussing on quality rather than the quantity of work ! .... Now everything I do keeps me on my path of purpose that I have chosen for myself .... It doesn't mean that I don't get tired or sometimes feel frustrated but there is more meaning now in my day to day life and work and that also helps me to deal with issues on a daily basis without losing my deep satisfaction ! .... Yes a deep satisfaction is now what I have in whatever I do .... Treat life as a marathon and not a 100m race ! .... That is the attitude I now have ! .... 🙏 .... 🙂 ....

[@amygirl9534]

As someone burnt out in a helping profession, I’m ready for some me, me, me. This is literally armchair advice. Always look at the population samples in the psych research before you decide how much it applies to you. They are often done on already affluent college kids. Kind of snooty stuff for those of us at lower income brackets. Ignoring the relationship between overwork and income inequality is soooo bougie.

[@ThePathOfEudaimonia]

If you watch the video again you might notice the (subtle?) critique of our individualist, capitalist society. This advice helps with dealing with life's stressors in a more wise manner, but it also calls for a societal change towards more focus on the wellbeing and flourishing of human beings and our society in general.

[@wancheng89]

I don’t think the video is dismissing what you said which is the systemic part of the problem. It’s just we can’t always change our environment and the thing we can do is to start with ourselves, hence comes in elements like mindfulness, self-compassion etc. (if you are not interested or able in being other-oriented now).

[@dielaughing73]

Congratulations, you have made the staggering insight that not every piece of advice is applicable to everyone. Well done. Then you somehow managed to take offence at this reality and make it all about yourself. Not so well done.

[@bethra.flowers]

❤❤❤ Great thoughts for consideration. Thank you. I feel that this "hussle culture" is the natural effect or result of our current profit driven capitalistic economic system. We feel that we must chase the dollar hard now so that we may possibly rest later. This thinking assumes that we will be able to make enough to rest some time in the future by sacrificing ourselves in the present. The reality is that most of us end up greatly disappointed with our lives in the end because we sacrificed the things that were the most valuable, those moments with our own loving desires and passions, relationships with others, community service projects, etc. Seeing life from the perspective of the 'long path' or a more holistic view point will help us reverse this destructive path we are on.

[@ima.m.1658]

Well said!

[@jon6309]

I think doing less is worth it when you realize the efforts do not give the returns you are expecting. I really don't want to be a quiet quitter at my new job but I do play a balancing act by doing enough and only volunteering for simple tasks so there is no resentment if they cannot promote me or compensate me for extra effort.

[@homeboi4159]

Perfect advice for a bum like me. No joke, I’m way happier now that I’m earning a little bit over enough than when I was earning huge commissions on sales. More time for my hobbies, and I get to sleep for 10 hours a night if I want to.

[@melstjohn3766]

I loved reading this ,you have THE right idea 😊

[@anonymdaim9640]

I just adore that woman. She is a human being with the soul of an angel. I love her. Like damn she be spilling the truth just like that. She touches our souls, takes our hands with her words and gives us tight hugs. She is like: „You got this. Believe in yourself!“ without even mentioning those words. She is damn smart

[@BenShutUp]

Wow this was helpful. I need to have more realistic ambition and gently encourage myself. I will improve my resilience.

[@organic2501chemistry]

I’m all for ‘doing less’ if it means focusing on what you decide are the most important values in life. But not sure about ‘not hustling and living a balanced life’. It seems like a priviledged people’s unaware naivity. Working all the time to the best of your ability was the only thing I knew for the first thirty years of my life. After trying various forms of relaxation and self-reflection, I think I feel peaceful with myself only when I’m working 110%. I’m also more generous and kinder to others, appreciate the nature, and certain about the world and the future when I feel like I am only working and doing my best. Now, I do fall into despair and self-loathing after the inevitable failures, but this feels better than not working hard. I do get what she says, but to me it seems like a decade or so ago, suddenly the societies I lived in started to encourage this balancing, self-care, and being productive while being happy and grateful. For a few percent of the healthiest people, yes this is of course a good outlook. But we exist, too, for whom this just is impossible for deep underlying psychological reasons.

[@bethdejuan8909]

So true. My husband used to worked endlessly at one time worked for NASA and now he wants to work as a clerk.

[@untamedwildhorse]

My boyfriend is similar. He worked for a pharmaceutical company until he opened his own biotech company. He wants to retire & open up a bike repair shop!

[@mayhewfisher62]

I decided in recent years to shoot for being content. Happiness seems like a lot of work and might be too easily taken away. Contentment seems more durable.

[@Rooftopaccessorizer]

i definitely learned this the hard way. i probably burned out 3 or 4 times because i thought i could do everything and it paradoxically kept me from being successful at anything

[@carluyabut1461]

Thank you very much for this. Definitely needed this after beating myself up and telling myself I've not done any progress today...❤

[@suyeianlow3745]

It’s okay to take a day off! Progress is never linear! ❤

[@nuriamolina5544]

It's amazing that something as simple as having common sense is needed to be explained by experts. I say, we need 'Less of daily Media intake', and more practice of 'living' in the real world..Each of us harness that ability to determine our 'good enough', we just tend to priotitize the external expert's opinion over listening to our own 'screaming' guts. The more we seek external answers to complex personal experiences from others, the less meaning our lives have.

[@gilliannecowenn]

best 6 minute youtube video i’ve ever invested my time into (not that it’s a lot of time, but the value of this video is forever)

[@user-pb2kg1ng4g]

If we just allow ourselves to be busy all the time, we will become a cold + heartless. Isn't the Chinese character for 'BUSY' comprised of the two components meaning 'HEART + RUIN'. If we allow our hearts to be ruined, then there will be no development of culture. In light of that we need to take time to do such things as listen to music, familiarise ourselves with literature, write and appreciate the great outdoors - breathe fresh air and commune with the stars.

[@user-pb2kg1ng4g]

Busyness can be a manifestation of a fear-based avoidance and 'stupid Western linear thinking' - always in some Shangri-La mindset. If, in the moment, we live by self-compassion, we can be like the metaphor of 'a stone in a pond' - the joyful ripples emanating ever outward. Also, if you want a vacation from yourself do something positive for others. Enjoy creating value.

[@andreas.o]

2:53 Hey, it refers to a previous video about How to enter a flow state that said, "Allow us to perform better. But without doing perfectly." I do need this because I am struggling with it. Both videos help me to go the real better and the best.

[@skyethewylder]

I was born to a couple of human doings. Their motto is: you can rest when you die. I've finally shed that and it is so freeing. Meditation has is a daily habit and I use the Muse headband to meditate as it gives instant feedback. I can definitely say that when my brain is active as I meditate, I can start just mentally thinking "thank you thank you thank you" and the feedback goes back to calm. Being grateful is more than saying the words, your brain literally senses something and makes a positive change. Dr Joe Dispenza explains all this. It is life changing to just be thankful, slow down. Allow others to shine. And just be. I am a proud human being now.

[@logman3455]

Empathy also helps with overall happiness, I find as it helps with the overall outlook you apply to the world.

[@ReturnOfTheNerdStarWars]

A meritocracy doesn't focus on outcome, it's society trying it's best to create a level playing field for people to compete on, (which can never be realized, but we can do our best).

[@jackslater8688]

That's why I work part-time.

[@daveyt4802]

Stay healthy! Mind, body and spirit.

[@billaddison82]

Working hard and achieving success can bring great fulfillment and meaning to your life. The discipline it takes to truly win in the market will also impact your ability to raise well adapted children as you'll value your time with your kids. Being a business owner allows you to not only create value for yourself, but also provide value to your customers and help create valuable jobs for potential staff. Working hard brings people together to solve challenging problems that advance our society through innovation and services.

[@ekaterina_sazagri]

Great lecture! Thank you very much!

[@userone7057]

At the age of 15, I found myself residing within the comforting confines of my parents' home, where I was fortunate enough to receive not only education but also the basic necessities of life including nourishment, shelter, and various other provisions. In sharp contrast, my partner's life journey commenced with the challenge of self-sustainability at this age.

[@serenarobak3640]

Working in human services for 30 years, this would be common knowledge. I see it's a huge revelation to others. No wonder we are where we are.

[@poppopen7475]

Thanks you very much

[@raresmircea]

Excellent pointing out, this is one of the things current culture needs to realize & adopt. Also very good remarks in the comment section

[@sujitsingh5862]

The book name (prem ras siddhant) in english has all philossophy given here and more.

[@unon735]

This video has so much that is so extremely valuable, it's like i wanna remember every bit of it an instill it in my brain. I guess a more realistic goal would be trying to retain as much as i can and put it into practice :) It's a VERY valuable video, thankyou for makign it and bringing it to us, I would really love a longer version where Dr. Santos discusses these things in a little more depth

[@TW748]

5:25 is the key. Be a part of others not trying to be better then them.

[@BizzeeB]

I believe an iconic Gen X quote was, "I am not under any orders to make the world a better place." Perhaps a contemporary iteration of this would be, "I am under no obligation to Be My Best Me."

[@sunny-frevr]

LOL! Gen X forever.

[@Andrew_M_Ward]

My mom told me back in 1980 when I was having a hard time in 10th grade... "love is always the answer" I asked "What do you mean" and she said "When you are confused about what the right thing to do is, just know love is always the answer" over the years that simple advice has been true almost entirely

[@Scottieguru]

Very good basic advice. It sounds like a message targeted to females in their 20's who are in University. I know so many young women who have gone into panic mode and are on all kinds of prescription medications to help them get straight A's in school. There seems to be no fascination with the world and nature and learning but more just dumb competition to get grades in school at all cost. One final note if I may, It is not about "Happiness", Happiness is an emotional state like anger, sadness, etc...emotional states are impermanent. A better focus would be on becoming fulfilled with meaning and purpose beyond materialistic/monetary gain.

[@spiesinyellow4950]

I think what she’s saying greatly reflects the main idea of Byung Chul Han’s book “The Burnout Society”. Such an awesome read!

[@Goili]

“…happy people tend to perform better…” this is it

[@FlavaTheRipper]

Watched this at 2x speed for efficiency lol

[@bernardofitzpatrick5403]

😂😂

[@joepesi-v3h]

"The more I learn about the universe, the less convinced I am that there's any sort of benevolent force that has anything to do with it, at all" 😢 -Neil deGrasse Tyson ❤

[@vibhuti1426]

Very well explained mam!

[@alariclopezdeleon7524]

Lovely. Thank you for this.

[@bbblahoo7]

As someone who’s just turned 30 I am constantly having to increase my income to survive paycheck to paycheck. My field of work doesn’t allow me to just relocate to a less expensive area since those spots do not have nearly as much income potential. I am banking on learning side business in the hopes of getting out of this ray race but till now it’s not enough and I am trying my best to learn time management

[@veritas2222]

Thanks for this!

[@KungFuChess]

Keep calm and Lay Flat

[@VoxUrania]

The word I haven’t heard yet is nurture, which descirbes all the acts of self-care and compassion listed here. Because nurturers tend to be unsung and largely unrecognized in this process, it’s very easy to lose sight of the need for reciprocal care and concern. Wandering out and yelling at a garden bed, ordering it to grow would look absurd. Yet that’s often the “growth” paradigm that stymies real development.

[@TheNaiveMonk]

Thanks for sharing. ❤

[@Beanz8907]

Shes a great teacher/professor. I wish she can come to my military base and give a Ted Talks. A 2 day event.

[@nwabunweneosa-afiana5528]

"Happier people tend to perform better" my big takeaway

[@chitrasingh44]

The music to this is genius n perfect.

[@yacinefaqir7176]

Would love to hear what David Goggins has to say about this :)

[@coffeeandlifting]

He would say this is a psyop being broadcast to keep people soft and lazy. Because it is.

[@banditsumo4381]

Thanks

[@shikharsharma6399]

Thanks for making this.

[@tukurhamid]

Thank you very much madam

[@Gbizz]

Daosim came to this conclusion thousands of years ago, might be a bit extreme nowadays. Don't take everything so seriously, you don't need to have an opinion on everything (stoicism)

[@renendell]

I think there’s a lot of value in addressing people’s perceived unhappiness, and you get bonus points if you can identify a simple cause and propose a simple solution.

[@banditsumo4381]

I needed this so much

[@eggxecution]

I love this!

[@tolgadamar7391]

the whole video can be summed up in one sentence. Self compassion is the key to achieving sustainable personal development. Not self stress.

[@tmslf]

What a refreshing clip

[@greenwave819]

I'm happy because I win at what I care about

[@KienTranTonmat]

Enjoy the process and use the goals as signposts only 👌

[@kevogamingid]

Yeah the difficulty is finding a balance in life while still self sustaining yourself and not relying on others

[@sesughakpera]

i got to watch this just when i needed it.

[@rudolphpyatt4833]

All good points. But self compassion DOES feel like letting myself off the hook. Accordingly, I find myself giving up on the idea of “being happy”. I will settle for the opportunity to keep working and have moments of pleasure now and then. “Happiness” is asking for too much.

[@csabajtony]

What happens when in the term "other-oriented", the "other" one is yourself as a friend? Can that other one be yourself, or would that the "me, me, me?"

[@Mussetrussen]

When we are young we have a tendency to want to prove ourselves. We want to see what we can do and how far we can go, and gain status and admiration. And that is probably a good thing, since it drives us to accomplish things and get stuff done. But later in life, if we're lucky, we realize that ambition is not always our friend. It can be a blind drive, like an addiction, that keeps us from actually enjoying life og finding peace. I like to refer to this journey as 'the need to become someone, before you can become no one.' You cannot just give up every ambition at 19, and sit down and do nothing. You need to climb some sort of mountain, and achieve something, to realize that you're actually just as happy staying at sea level.