Do You Have Self Development Depression? - Hamza

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[@Pearlsena]

That’s a scary place to be especially when you’re aware you’re in that place

[@peecon7]

its a privilage place to be on when you are aware because atleast youre aware and can take accion.

[@not0468]

The issue with awareness is your given a decision and each way leads to suffering thus unappealing, but the one that requires voluntary suffering, will move the ball forward. Albeit requires initiative and intent.

[@mandiluis4540]

That’s where I am now, stuck in stage one 😢

[@Vito-xl9lf]

But how do you get out of it

[@JS-sv4ol]

Kinda feels like I’m there sometimes The habit building is tough and choosing the first one to master can be overwhelming

[@TheGreatAli02]

I was at this place. Start very very small. For example I began by cleaning my room, then organizing my shelf’s; then doing my dishes, then got the courage to hit the gym etc etc

[@MarceloCardoso-vs7yf]

Today i made my bed first thing in the morning .. cant remember the last time in did that

[@Relle.]

Good advice. Step by step. It's not overwhelming that's way

[@FlySpleen]

Great advice. Reminds me of Jordan Peterson's advice: AIM LOW. Just by doing something at all you can generate enough dopamine to do the next thing. So no matter how small you start it will definitely pile up if you're patient and humble enough.

[@matthewparris1904]

I struggled with this alot while in active addiction. The "bad" things you do are often so powerful that they overpower the good things you are doing. Try subtracting the negative, toxic behaviours, then go from there.

[@vancedadder]

💯💯💯

[@matthewparris1904]

@@Joonzi Wishing you all the best!

[@ricardomilos10]

i would say that comes more of a inner game trauma and self hate in some cases, like, you dont allow yourself to progress and be happy or you dont trust yourself enough

[@karkkimarkkinat2109]

That sounds familiar and relatable...

[@GavinDavidson]

Very relevant for me. This was my learning some months ago. I went through a similar experience. I thought I didn’t deserve success, like I was wasn’t worthy of it, you know what I mean? I think it comes from the same place you are talking about here. I also agree with you 💯 on not trusting yourself being a part of the issue.

[@Stirnst]

Self love and self trust are key, is my experience. Slowly building up to they has taken me 5 years. Regressing to my bad habits of drinking, smoking, and binging KZbin every few weeks, and then building on myself again for a few weeks. The latter portion is steadily becoming my new default mode and I’m loving myself more and more for it. Happy to see many young men like me raising each other up through these channels.

[@kalash_nikov]

​@@Stirnst Well done man 👏 I agree with you and OP, self love, self esteem, are the key factors here and problems with those stem from our childhood. But I'm also thinking, isn't earning self love by doing things that are good for us just reinforcing the belief that we are only worth something if we do stuff? If I go to the gym I feel good about myself "well done bro, you are great", self esteem goes up. But if I decide to stay home one day (or worse, few days in a row) I will shit on myself again, "look at yourself, lazy, choosing Netflix over gym", etc. Shouldn't the goal be to love ourselves unconditionally? Putting conditions on our love is exactly what our parents did (you get good grades, win a competition, behave = you are a a great son, but if you misbehave at school - go to your room and don't come out). Idk, this whole topic been on my mind for over a year now and I still don't know what the right approach is. After all, if achievements was a way to true self love then no successful person should ever be depressed, definitely not take their own life, yet it happens and not that rarely.

[@hugomartinez9229]

@@kalash_nikovyou're right, that's the point. You gotta love yourself without these achievements and then live your life and pursue real things, not fake ones

[@danielleoconnell5417]

I totally relate to everything he just said 💚

[@gastonangelini8352]

Then start! The best moment to start something was yesterday. So take the second best time to do things , that is RIGHT NOW!

[@mthompson5383]

Me too😖😖

[@bernicegoldham1509]

​@@gastonangelini8352 it's not that easy for everyone. that's kind of the point being expressed in this vid.

[@kalash_nikov]

​@@bernicegoldham1509 that's exactly it. Majority of self-development space focuses on telling people what's the best way to achieve or become this or that. But the biggest problem for many people is not "what" or "how", but actually doing and sticking to it. The famous advice of "just start, first step is the hardest" never applied to me. I'd start many, many times, but couldn't stick to the routine/habit.

[@Mordekai.Glitches]

@@kalash_nikovWhat has worked for you then?

[@lashamjavia4053]

I'm exactly in a place this guy describes,man I feel exactly like that. There is soo much i want to do and I know the benefits of these things but I get overwhelmed because there is soo much that I want to do and I just don't do it,but then I get depressed about not doing it

[@skinnysnorlax1876]

Slow down. Get one thing you care about done a day. Focus on the manageable and increase slowly and incrementally. "Oh I want to go to the gym, but can't find the motivation." Do you have the motivation to do, say, pushups every day? A single pushup? If that's your starting point, start. You will learn to be more consistent gradually. Some may beat themselves up for feeling 'pathetic' at how little they can manage. I say it's more pathetic to avoid tackling what you can manage because you're too focused on what you can't. Find what motivates you. If it's calmly working up to something small, then growing bigger, great. If it's treating yourself like a drill instructor, great. No one else can ultimately do this for you, but you also have all the tools you need to grow. Get to it, good luck.

[@lashamjavia4053]

@@skinnysnorlax1876 thanks man, I completely agree with you on everything you just said,now I just have to convince myself that I can't do everything at once and just take it slowly,like you said

[@gabrielavilla7308]

Try to feel good about your ability to do those things. Make a list and title it: How can I feel better about my ability to….. And then list everything you want to feel better about your ability to do. You don’t have to answer the ‘how’ - just get yourself thinking.

[@yovannydominguez2860]

Been in that space and what has helped me get out is the formula 80% Output and 20% Input. Daily. Meaning only consume content (motivational, education, etc.. ) for 20% of the day and spend the remaining 80% in Action (Output) what you have actually learned. I made it a rule that I would not consume more content or read another book until I have used 80% of my day DOING the things that I been learning. Also recognizing that reading a book and/or consuming content is also a form of procastination. So to keep it in check, 80% Output, 20% Input.

[@taylors4658]

I am on the path guys, lost 42 lbs so far. All it takes is effort, take it day by day. Just plan to win everyday and you'll get there kings! 👑

[@satorm7870]

Goodjob bro

[@Football_Unlimited]

How long did it take you? Curious how long it would take for me

[@satorm7870]

@@Football_Unlimited dont focus on how long its gonna take. Take the first step and start

[@taylors4658]

@@Football_Unlimited I've been averaging a loss of 2lbs a week. Mostly following a keto diet with fasting mixed in. I recommend looking at videos by Jason Fung, was a game changer for me for weight loss.

[@dosomestuff1949]

U mean, incomprehensible pain and stress. That’s what it takes

[@wuutnopepe613]

You need to build momentum. I was a depressed mess 2 years ago. Got a job and little by little I've been getting more social. I literally used to stutter with simple conversations and now I can keep conversation with randoms. Little by little, your discipline with have a snowball effect.. everything is physics. The little steps are what dictates the macro effects

[@wuutnopepe613]

Don't trap yourself. You are your friend just like you can be your enemy. Is your choice

[@skinnysnorlax1876]

Grit is about the most important thing you can develop in life. It doesn't matter what skills or talents or knowledge you have if you don't have the tenacity to use them, or learn more. Push yourselves, but treat yourselves with dignity. It's not hopeless, but it is hard, and it should be. Doing hard things is more satisfying than a lot of folks who are paralyzed like this realize. I believe in you guys.

[@wolfmations]

Your right grit is basically being able to carry on regardless of emotion so it's more logic based behaviour rather than emotional behaviour, and this can be trained and improved over time

[@cdd4248]

I am a therapist and I see many young men that suffer from this, as well as, not having meaning or purpose in their life.

[@uplift-yourdailypickup6424]

I know a guy that was deep in many addictions. He made it out and is now a successful entrepreneur. He told me he started by telling himself if he did one good thing that day then he had a successful day. Once he got good at that he upped to to two things. And so on. It’s important to start small, get good and then move to the next level.

[@brycebatchelor3795]

I would think this would be most people? habbits and routines are hard to change whether they are good or bad for us and by the time people get into self development and improving their lives they've already likely built a routine and a set of habbits around them, and likely a lot of which will need to be changed to "improve" I think that's the hard part that's what eventually can get depressing when you keep falling back. 1 tip from me. Focus on 1 thing at a time and start small. Just show up to the gym and walk in and out Leave out a piece of fruit every day The point is do it every day and then you can improve

[@TacticalHabits]

I wish people would stop labeling things. There are definitely stages of self development, and the first thing that should be learned is accountability. More importantly, I think these people should learn understanding that it takes time to become great at anything. So don’t beat yourself up but encourage yourself, plan and keep your word. The more you do this the more you start to believing in yourself.

[@makokx7063]

2 of the strongest ways to build a habit is start with the smallest thing you absolutely will do, no excuses and to make that thing as easy as possible. I wanted to go for a run every morning. Never happened. Felt terrible. So I made a deal with myself, all I had to do was walk one block. A 15 minute walk and I'd sleep in my walking clothes so when the alarm went off all I had to do was roll out of bed. Once the first block is done and you feel that euphoria of the accomplishment you're like, well, I'm already out here. Next thing you know you do 5 laps and even run one of them. Same thing with studying. I always wanted to bang out whole text books in a week. Never happened. Then broke it down to just one heading in one chapter at a time. I actually did it and I usually ended up banging out the whole chapter.

[@Rascal-of-War]

I had a friend who went down the rabbit hole of self improvement and got into gurus like Tony Robbins. He slipped into a *very* deep depression. (Wasn't leaving his room for extended periods or seeing his friends).While it was suspected was partially due to family issues we also noticed he seemed to share a low view of himself. He's doing a lot better now, but the high standards he was setting himself were driving him mad.

[@Brandon-bl8ko]

a lot of ppl try too much too fast. do something you know you can stick with and slowly build on it. and dont forget to take needed breaks/recovery periods

[@EllenPitts]

This is absolutely not depression. It’s from not knowing how to start and how to form habits. I was like this but the book atomic habits saved my life. It was a total game changer….the thing is you have to start small enough with a new habit that you can’t not do it. The goal is to simply make the habit. So if you want to walk more, make the habit just putting on your walking shoes and stepping outside. I started with 1000 steps a day when I was completely sedentary. Now I do 2-3 miles every day. Just start small and commit to that until it’s so ingrained that you can take the next step. And buy the book atomic habits.

[@thelukuro8243]

START VERY SMALL, grease the groove and slowly build consistency

[@tlz8884]

Could relate. Basically the biggest issue is shifting from bad to good habits. Start really small and be consistent until it becomes a habit. Then move on to the next one. Be 1% better (by the book atomic habits)

[@peecon7]

thats the problem with the self-help industry. it dont work. you read or listen what you want to hear. but a book and "how tos" its not going to change your life if you dont find it within you to change. also i would recomment therapy for more serious cases, again a self help book wont help you understand and deal with deeper issues

[@zeorhymer6]

Actually taking the first step is the hardest thing to do.

[@ljsong1]

There's more to stagnation than "depression". People can see how bad some people end up, and it's not because they didn't work hard, it's because they DID work hard and bad luck or internal limitations made everything come crashing down. People break all the time. Younger folks can feel it. Life ain't easy and there aren't any good answers.

[@HiiImChris]

This is absolutely me, thx for making me aware that this is a legitimate thing people go thru

[@vincent-to7gg]

Podcast with hamza? Hyped!!

[@TheNextManimal]

They did this earlier this year, you can watch it now

[@vincent-to7gg]

@@TheNextManimal ohhh really? Thanks!

[@neerajbolla2958]

Exactly, this is where I am!!

[@hornetguy9063]

The longer you do it, the easier it gets. This time last year I was pretty much ordering Uber eats every evening. Now I’d much rather cook for myself with healthy ingredients, even something small like eggs and egg whites at night when I don’t want to put too much effort in (rather than tacos from some random restaurant nearby). Once it becomes an ingrained habit, it gets so much easier.

[@badscat]

Been in that place the last year or so. I know what needs to be done but I can’t seem to push myself to continue the work.

[@shezario]

I call m personal shade of that: diagnosed adhd. However theres a difference in that I do actually improve constantly and somewhat consistently but my self image doesnt recognize it and it feels like Im stuck rather than actually being stuck.

[@jimmyquck]

it truly is about habits. i was in that place not so long ago, and then i read atomic habits by james clear. i'm not saying that book changed my life- it was not until i took some time off work to have the space required to consciously work on myself that i could start a practical, not theoretical, self improvement journey. now i'm back at work, and a bunch of my good habits have stuck, some are still shaky of course, but i think i was able to establish a foundation in that time off to keep on an upward trend

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Commitment to yourself and maintaining beneficial activities is difficult for some, and it changes throughout your own life.

[@Rohan_Trishan]

You must find a way to bridge the gap between theory and practice. I got stuck on research without proper execution. Remember that sometimes the motivation is from doing the act itself, like working out or cleaning, and not from motivaton videos or books. Start small.... excercise does not mean u need to go to the gym. Just start at home, just 5-10 minutes of pushups, situps, jumping jacks. That little bit will be enough to make u feel good, and u can repeat again another 10 minutes. Just do this every day for 10-20 minutes, bodyweight stuff or with any weights or a milk jug at home.... thne maybe go to the gym after a few weeks. Same with organization and cleaning.... just clean a few things, write a few things on a list or journal. 10 minutes is all, keep going more if u want to or wait till tommorow and do same or more. Good luck.

[@WATCHMYCLIPSZ]

I'm in the exercise phase. Need a job now. It took years to actually step outside I'm hoping to be working by next month. STAY HARD YALL

[@SilverHawk214]

uh oh, that's me..

[@noerknown]

Your hard thing might be just getting a glass of water. washing one dish. brushing your teeth. start wherever you need to; no one is making fun of you, but you (and anyone talking down on you isn't worth your attention, they really don't matter). you don't need efficiency right now. consistency is your goal.

[@freddyfox5002]

Long term goals is the issue imo

[@templarmalta9946]

This is just a complicated way of saying you're letting your feelings do the decision making. Its excusining it. You got to move to feel like it not wait for the mood to feel like it.

[@Dia-gnosis]

The degree to which we know what we want is proportionate to the degree of our dissatisfaction for our current situation. If they where dissatisfied enough they would surely have the motivation to change. the degree of dissatisfaction/ motivation required to get to work is different for everyone depending mostly on lifestyle and it’s neurochemical implications in my opinion. The good news is that by changing your lifestyle you can access an abundance of intrinsic motivation that most people in this highly stimulating environment just dont have.

[@hanskloss7726]

Many reason I suppose. One of them is simmillar to what happened to me when I visited a doc few years back ( I am an old sack of potatoes). She said I should watch my blood pressure as for my age blah blah blah and gave me a brochure where I got listed. Guess what - I got off all these things containing coffaine (not easy I tell you) and reduced meat and fat. But the stress - this I could not reduce. In fact when I came to her few years after and asked for a week or two relief as I was shaking whenever I had to talk to my coworkers and had to force miself to do anything - she said no, go back you are a man blah blah blah. I resolved it some other way but high level of stress remained with me. I try to do sports whenever I have the time but this is not doing the trick no more. It is also the regularity that fails - sometimes the kids, sometimes the ex. sometimes something else. Life is dangerous thing for most of us is we working ourselves away, wearing and tearing our body and mind. That is how it is. It has always been and will be as long as the humans live.

[@sandeepadhikari4957]

Self-improvement, according to me is the BEST thing that you can do to yourself. I have been doing self development for a year now, that why i started a KZbin channel. Wish me luck guys!

[@Danny1420]

Makes sense, but how do you get out of level 1?

[@theruggedscholar1544]

He is one-hundred percent (100%) correct!

[@rachelforbes4424]

You can’t just make up terms and apply them to people as you please

[@raymondotoole2600]

People just need to do it. That’s it

[@ryanblubaugh4868]

I went to level 5 all through my young adault life and the 42 came along , and everything became syntax error, i dont give a %!#

[@Californiasnow]

He described me perfectly

[@pierrebernard7665]

Oh thank you!

[@GoldenSheenObsidan]

Sometimes

[@janeproctor5542]

You might call it self-sabotage and it may be because they didn't have an experience in early childhood or childhood when they didn't meet up with some form of adversity even when they showed how pleased they felt about themsellves when they felt good about a new achievement, so they have a memory of a negative, let-down feeling about themselves and are quite leary about this same result coming at them just as they actually succeed, because they have been undermined and extremely let down by those past negative experiences just as they experienced true excitment over a new achievement in their development during childhood. They don't want to get hurt like that again and even hurt themselves to avoid it. one example would be a child being upstaged at the crucial moment by an older sibling and then, if he reacts, being told that he's a cry- baby for getting upset about it. This is hardly the result he could have wished for!

[@zugzug6773]

stage 1 here

[@stretch1807]

So just regular depression??

[@willswanson2145]

Maybe our expectations of what possible in society is too high because of social media… we are all doomed to fail to accomplish the Lamborghini and babes life

[@brushstroke3733]

Yes, I have it. Now what?

[@soobred2672]

i wish i wasnt like this

[@masumi158]

How to move forward???

[@nicolespiffi]

How do I get unstuck

[@ericdraven3654]

Very interesting.

[@suhaibchishti6975]

This literally happened to me

[@JC11118]

Damn. This is me. 😔

[@whysosad45]

Thats me

[@JoeyDNetsfan]

That’s just like me fr 😢

[@red_adept]

Part of the reason I don't go to the gym is because I absolutely hate it. I've tried working out and even maintained a consistent exercise regimen before, but I absolutely hate everything about contemplated exercise. I see people talk about how much they like lifting weights, or running, or swimming, but I just hate it. It doesn't ever get enjoyable or even less miserable. I'm 260 now and I should be 170, which I've achieved before, and I didn't feel any better than I do now. And the only reason I was able to get down to 170 was because I want to join the Navy, and my hatred for my job at the time was my motivation to loose weight. I just fucking hate exercise and I've never seen any of the exercise/self help gurus explain how I'm supposed to maintain a proper debit and exercise when everything I have to do to maintain a healthy weight makes me want to suck start a shotgun.

[@R5RGP]

Ah yes that’s me

[@TheGreatAli02]

It’s called RESISTANCE. Watch JRE and Steven Pressfield talk about it.

[@mariijg]

that’s like 90% of population tho lol

[@Lifetothefull7]

🎉🎉

[@jacoblape]

Depression is boring How do we spice it up? Now you have self development depression. Next will be postpartum, persistent depression, Clinical depression. Jesus Christ there is nothing wrong with you

[@ge9367]

Algorithm

[@TheVoltaire1]

This is the most LIB shit I've ever heard.

[@ratzfert]

ADHD is very much particular setup the brain in that way for short-term pleasure

[@karkkimarkkinat2109]

Thanks for the diagnosis. Very accurate. Got any fucking suggestions?!

[@tfostercrx]

Wow this is me, how the fuck can I get over this?

[@willleslie2745]

They need to stop watching porn and playing video games. This is 100% the case. No exceptions. Everyone is addicted to both of these.