Do You Need Space? If So, You Are Being Inauthentic - Teal Swan

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Do you frequently find that you need space to yourself? Do you identify yourself as someone who likes to be alone? The human race is a social species. Our species survival depended (and still does depend) on each other. Technically the top human need is connection and the single biggest threat to our wellbeing is isolation. So how can it be that you need space, how can it be that you need alone time so badly?
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👉 Who Is Teal Swan?
Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader and a Bestselling Author who is an expert in human development and relationships. She has over a decade of experience working with people of all walks of life with a mission to reduce human suffering.
Today, she’s also become an International Speaker, having facilitated retreats and life changing workshops in large venues worldwide. Teal was ranked 15th on The Watkins Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2023.
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[@Supreme9s]

People can be draining. Especially if they don't know themselves.

[@SR77736]

Supreme Gene exactly!

[@loricrockett-owens5117]

Supreme Gene right, especially if u can tell someone likes u but everyone keeps coming inbetwen that vibe saying dont speak to them... they are just assholes only in it for themselves. im sure at one point an time in their lives they ahve been friends with someone ebecame close and ended that friendship had people tell them never to speak to that person again, have theeir friends become friends with that person they said DONT EVER SPEAK TO THAT PERSON. so that person becomes jealous, needs to be the center of attention.... its all about them which is stupid. i dont care if the person was a trillionaire and had all the power in the world the right connections to have that person never speak to u again... if god willing, if god intends for u to ever speak to tht person again, not even a meteorite hitting the planet could come between u speaking to that person again... if god intends for u to speak to that person again... then god will allow it and make away.... i think it is bs... when people put up all these obstacles in life.... when they know god could alter their process. smdh.

[@Nvazquezscales]

Supreme Gene I wholeheartedly agree that being around people at times can be draining. I seem myself to be an extroverted "introvert." Likened to Prince, Beyonce and Michael Jackson to name a few. I relish interacting with people in doses and require moments of solace to Recalibrate from all of the activity amongst others (even my son).

[@placeholder1546]

I personally need my alone time because I hate loud noises. I love all my pets, but my “alone time” only includes my cat and not the dog simply because my dog is quite noisy.

[@gra6799]

Supreme Gene For sure !!

[@ScaryStoriesNYC]

When I don't get my space, trust me, things get very authentically real extremely quickly.

[@borutbric]

Haha, good one. I can imagine what happens...

[@wombword7817]

Scary Stories LMAO ...Amen to that!

[@BetweenStations77]

Scary Stories This. All day.

[@xnellyxs1]

Yes, it's good for other people ;)

[@mishthemaverick8607]

julieannboo yep I'm not much fun to be around when I've had enough of people-ing

[@veronicahaney3145]

Sometimes I authentically don't want to pay attention to another living thing.

[@stephengiesbrecht9925]

I am over and paying attention to my surroundings while physically awake, people don't realize that I'm already paying attention to them and registering their words and noticeable actions. What bothers me are the people pawing and making a show to always have my direct attention, which most times is observing life as it occurs from outside my body. There are some in particular who have no desire to see their neediness and find their solution, even with the tidbits of wisdom and guidance tools I freely share. Living in the moment requires my attention, if one is in it, simply bring your presence that we may "be" and you won't need my attention. Needy people ugh ick ooo

[@CRFSUIGENERIS]

Lol me too. Well said.

[@sanctusignis9746]

And THAT is authentic. As an ambivert who is an empath,I will not apologise for my need to RECHARGE

[@nikiepunt8631]

Exactly my thoughts 😂👍🏻

[@alascendente26]

OMG I feel exactly like this

[@noheapai4145]

Cause we’re never alone. Sometimes being alone is really connecting to the Divine . It’s ok to have space and time to yourself.

[@cloud6318]

Interesting

[@cm-yu6gu]

I feel the same Every moment alone is a moment with the divine and I feel deprived of that in the company of others. Wtf do I do cause there's people, family, and society everywhere and they don't allow you to be authentic or honour your needs that you feel you can only fulfil in solitude

[@hamdoolam]

Truth

[@LeDebutDeLaSuite]

Yes!

[@sivanirajesh4251]

She's talking more about isolation instead of spending alone time. It was mentioned that alone time is a tool, that can be used daily. What she's saying is, you can also feel connection to divine around other people IF you feel free being yourself around them, like there's no pressure to be a certain way or simply enjoy silent company cause you see yourself as the main character enjoying your life regardless. When we isolate, it is to feel that freedom of just being without any expectations to "pretend" :)

[@tonjes]

I think there’s some really interesting things to think about here. I also things there’s a stillness and quietness that comes with pockets of space that animals and plants don’t disrupt. It’s not always about losing yourself with other people, sometimes it’s about finding yourself and appreciating the time you have with yourself.

[@TheAngryMarshmallow]

How the hell am I finding you here?😂😁 I always love your Work Mama Tonjes. I love that we're both looking at this today 😂

[@TheAngryMarshmallow]

Learning to love time with oneself does absolutely have value, yes.

[@leahflower9924]

If you find a partner or close friend who wants and accepts you authentically that is a luxury most people just dream of, I have borderline traits people who are borderline don't even know who they are with themselves

[@Octobris]

So nice to find you here ;)

[@joanbreen5091]

In response to Meghan The statement you made is exactly how I see it.and people are different. Some people are energized by interacting more with people.such as most extroverts. Introverts need to be alone more because people drain them.alone time means recharging your internal battery.

[@Carpetmatches]

I think purposeful solitude and avoidant isolation are two different things. There is a light side and a dark side to needing space. The dark side: We have trouble being authentic around other people, as Teal says. The light side: we need time alone to process our feelings, reconnect with who we are without the interruption of other people. Alone time can be re-energizing and an important period of gestation. One of my favorite quotes: "How can you hear your soul when everyone is talking?" ..."Only in intimate communion with solitude may man find himself." And "Solitude, whether endured or embraced, is a necessary gateway to original thought."

[@arkieologist]

Yes! 💛

[@mounamsaid187]

Exactly! boundaries are known and built when we neutralize outter noise and tune within. Thank you for your reflective comment

[@melissa-fs2hq]

🥰

[@shawneek1972]

A million times-- yes!

[@sukirti_gupta]

Then there's one more way to see it. Like there's my mom, she's able to meditate even when there are people around, she can tolerate moderate amounts of sound while meditating. While i can't meditate when that is happening. And i feel like I 'consider' those sounds as a disturbance, therefore they become disturbance for me. I can't have a second person in the room while meditating. Same for working out. I've never tried a gym that's why. Tho i wana be like my mom one day. On the contrary, i can think complex things, process my feelings, empty my mind and all, yk the same things u do at the end of the day to unwind. I can unwind in the middle of a noisy crowd, even when people are talking to me. while my mom wants people to shut up when she's doing some mental work. So i think it is also about perspective. Because u think that YOU in your headspace is something separate from OTHERS in your physical space. as soon as u think 'others', they will become a disturbance. Technically every thing is energy, you, ur thoughts, people and things around u. Like she asked what's the variable between one life and another life? We can say, what's the variable between one form of energy and another? Our perception of it. Now obv considering here that some people wayy too chatty, mostly do small talk, repeat stuff, want your eye contact, seem like they have no job. They can definitely be an annoyance no matter what u doin lol.

[@Moonbeam729]

Wow I think this is a problem I have. Like if I'm home alone I feel like I can do anything but if someone else is home I feel like my options are limited or I'll have to go in my room and do what I want there. I don't listen to the music I like when others are around, I don't do anything creative when people are around, I don't watch my fav shows, etc. all the things that I like I keep to myself. I think it's bc I feel awkward af when other people are around bc I don't want them to be like "ew what's that" or have some other negative response about what I like and I don't really want them to like what I like either.

[@infinity401]

Yes, this is also me.

[@tripicalmoon8081]

I relate 100%. But I hate this fear I have of being judged

[@allisona7076]

omg you nailed it.

[@itssebastienne]

Aw same :( I haven't had my own room my whole life, and I've been suppressing what I actually want to do with my time.

[@vil4038]

same here.

[@44messengers]

This was helpful for me to hear. I avoid people because I feel like I am not allowed to be myself around others. Being myself feels unsafe, so I have to try to be what I think will be acceptable to others, and that is very draining and uncomfortable. It also comes with the constant fear of slipping up and being rejected.

[@ivantheincredible_]

I totally feel that. I have a layer of reservation when it comes to people- my guard is always up and it’s not only exhausting but distracting.

[@dixond2110]

Explained it perfectly

[@ASMRyouVEGANyet]

Unsafe? Think about this overused word. Unsafe means there is danger. You sound like you have a confidence issue.

[@dixond2110]

@@ASMRyouVEGANyet there is plenty of reasons to use unsafe. It is the correct word. If Being yourself is something that your friends, family or people in general will struggle to except or not except at all makes you feel very unsafe eg. Being gay or atheist in a strict religious family can lead to serious consequences like being an outcast, thrown out or even beaten. You especially feel unsafe when people have bullied you or criticized you for being who you are. Please educate yourself.

[@arifahezzati9032]

Same

[@jaimamavity2113]

Giving yourself space & alone time is just as healthy as being around others. I value both space and connection. 😊💛

[@cloud6318]

Cool

[@kristinmarie9056]

Me too! 🙏🏼

[@david_oliveira71]

I would, as an Introvert myself, even say the opposite: "When You can't be on your own, you are being inauthentic." Because really, how can we be authentic IF we don't face our self, and our inner core - who we truly are.

[@jimmysroom5132]

100% true

[@aslhanhanc8287]

@@jimmysroom5132 you can't really face yourself without connection to others

[@ExistentialJeny]

Exactly

[@siadawn]

@@aslhanhanc8287 That's actually not true. We _all_ have relationships with others. You can't avoid that. You have parents, teachers, friends, etc, growing up...unless you were raised in a wolves' den 😅

[@LoremIpsumPeach]

@@aslhanhanc8287 this is 100% true. Other people bring out the parts in ourselves that need healing, which is essential if we ever want to know ourselves. Which is why we get triggered by people. All our feelings are telling us about ourselves, even if we think it's about others. Knowing this is liberating because we realize no other person can ever control how we feel.

[@shailjanandjha2782]

I have been watching Teal's videos for a long time now, and I usually agree with everything she says, but this time, she doesn't give a holistic view of what type of people there are who like being alone. I don't have any problem being my authentic self when I am around others, but I still need alone time because as an introvert, I get overwhelmed by external stimulation, there 1000 thoughts popping in my head every second, this overactive imagination and thinking results in me needing to be alone so that I can allign my thoughts and clear my ahead. I also have a universe of ideas, imaginations and creative things that truly blossom when I am alone and can focus on them. I wish she talked about these things.

[@emmaphilo4049]

Yep!

[@jsmyth024]

shailjanand jha - YES! I recently found out that I am overwhelmed by people who constantly talk b/c(proceeds to proverbially talk with herself out loud on youtube) I think constantly and rapidly and they are literally interrupting my conversation with myself. lol Sharing b/c it was a big relief to finally put that piece of my puzzle together and has already had a positive effect on my life. I love people, and I love listening to them talk when I am interested and they have important things to say, but I can't be around people who are just thinking out loud, gossiping, or making small talk. It is absolutely exhausting. I hope she will read through the comments and maybe post a follow up video about how she was incorrect about some things in this video, b/c, if I'm being totally authentic, it was a bit insulting. lol Ah, well, ya live, ya learn, and you let your dog out so you can work on that project that you've been thinking about all day. :P

[@ufoufo9182]

@@jsmyth024 👏👏👏👏

[@bigfudge1885]

totally

[@VolcanicLioness]

But teal says that alone time is a tool. It seems like you’re saying you need more alone time than most to reflect...which as an extrovert myself...is necessary for all humans. But pushing people away constantly is inauthentic

[@Arthur-Silva]

I absolutely love being by myself! I can’t stand SOME people I know. They’re not bad people at all, they just talk too much and have zero respect for personal space, they’ll simply hijack your mind with their thoughts which they vomit out into the world. lol

[@ys-kv3ug]

Sounds like you have a boundary issue

[@diane4488]

Agree! 👍

[@gdgxgfhf6810]

True right?

[@hanaheh]

@@ys-kv3ug can you elaborate on that? Genuinely want to know

[@ranakonswa2169]

@@hanaheh I'm proud of you for seeking to know about such a tricky issue like this , it would be better if you do your own research on Google and read enough about it until you catch up with every detail instead of asking people

[@lulubeloo]

My most creative and fulfilling years were when i was alone with my thoughts, in my space, with my tools.

[@user_abcxyzz]

And some ppls most creative and fulfilling years were when they were high on drugs. What's your point. Having meaning and purpose in self destructive activities doesn't make it less self destructive lol

[@lulubeloo]

@@user_abcxyzz nice strawman bro

[@user_abcxyzz]

@@lulubeloo ty

[@lulubeloo]

@@user_abcxyzz no problem, just stretch a little before doing so much mental gymnastics.

[@mynameiselvispresleygirlsa5911]

@@user_abcxyzz how do you equate addiction with alone time? Lmao. What a reach.

[@youtubeuser6725]

For those who try to oppose the message of the video by saying "but I like my time alone!" If that's the case, then this video is not aimed for you, it's aimed for those who avoid people because of inauthenticity. Not all Teal's videos will apply to you at the same stage in your life or you specifically

[@titmouse31]

Exactly!! This comment should be pinned.

[@msdukaaa]

No, actually you didn't fully get what Teal said. I did, because I am more enlightened. Thanks

[@freshdumpling]

​@@msdukaaa😂 what a stupid fool

[@SunnyBeetle1922]

If you’re an empath you can hear and sense everybody else’s vibes which makes it really difficult to hear and feel your own energy . Sometimes other peoples vibes will influence your choices your thoughts and even your desires. That’s how connected we all are. Sometimes being alone is the only way to really hear your own soul and connect to who you really are. 💛💛💛🌈✨💫

[@jillbrown9268]

If you are tipped very far from center to the empathic side of the scale, you should re-center yourself. We are meant to be in the physical and comfortably so.

[@Iris-vo5gd]

Boom 🎯

[@missjane474]

Beautifully said. Thanks ❤

[@chloelovecat7389]

Needing alone time isn't because I need to "cater to others needs". It's because I'm an empath and some people, especially crowds, are draining. That is, people unconsciously suck energy. T'was ever thus. That is why I like time in nature...to recharge. I can be with my husband every day and not feel drained. But crowds or groups even if I'm not dealing with them directly, are tiresome.

[@genegarbis8746]

Erin Spencer I really agree with your reasons , I get burnt out very eisely in a crowd .

[@AparnaBL]

Mike Lucas even then i get drained.

[@OfftoShambala]

I too feel drained by people and feel that I might qualify as an empath myself. My social life mostly consists of posting stuff on YT.

[@OfftoShambala]

of course they are not responsible, it is just what happens... I can be in a crowd with no fear whatsoever... I am not afraid to speak in public, to give a speech, at all.... but, I do think it IS because of our thoughts about the crowd... but, it does not have to be fear... maybe it is, for me anyways, a sort of snobbery... it's not that I look down on anyone truly, I often have great respect for many people with whom I have not felt a connection of some sort, but I guess that's it, I only want to feel some kind of connection and it is difficult for me to plug in or feel a certain vibration with just anyone... I suppose if I were surrounded by people I resonate with better, I might feel less drained... thre are probably people who don't feel this need to resonate so much, or are much more willing to go through a slew of conversations with strangers to find people they resonate with when they are in a crowd... perhaps that is the draining part... the sifting through to find the person you feel comfortable with... but, also I think I might put up walls and others sense it and then the crowd becomes draining, but it is my doing, my thoughts.... but, am I really putting up walls because I'm afraid.... maybe, but it does not feel like fear.... I don't know, but thanks for inspiring a direction of self reflection... I am going to look into that idea of the equanimous mind, never heard that one before... I did not look that up before posting my first reaction to your idea here.... Joy & Gratitude, Mike!

[@OfftoShambala]

Why do you have this interpretation that anyone in this thread feels like anyone is doing anything to anyone?

[@Sin355]

I just realized why my work exhausts me... How do you accept HAVING to be inauthentic for "survival"? I burn out so quickly =| this has happened at every job I've ever had.

[@Sin355]

I really appreciate your input. Thinking on it I realized you're right, I really do need to work towards being more assertive and authentic at work. Not quite sure where to begin with this journey but at least it's a work in progress now. Thank you. :)

[@Thedirtylittletruth]

Change

[@Thedirtylittletruth]

Phill Simmer simplicity is relative.. thats your perception from millions❣️

[@eleventylevity]

Some people are just more annoying to be around than others.

[@apollofateh324]

😂

[@deepwaters7242]

I have this trauma, and her description is 100% accurate. It's a hard truth. The first time I heard this, I didn't... Resonate. I felt like she was speaking about someone else. Now, in quarantine with my family in an open concept house, I am suffering and felt like I needed to hear this. So I watched this again - the information felt completely different. The 2nd time I felt like she was describing me perfectly, with awareness and memories of where it comes from. It made me shake and cry because I felt so heard. I still prefer the idea that being alone is better, but I really had to battle with my ego to accept this.

[@sherrygonzales3434]

Wow I totally reacted the same way you did I heard it a couple of months ago and didn't really hear it but today I really needed to hear this. It explains exactly what is going on with me. I guess I wasn't ready to hear it then. Now I am but now I'm really scared and bummed. I have A LOT of work to do!!! 😮 😢 😂

[@Nina-vv3ev]

i think the actual problem is, that most people are not healthy or authentic & we can't be around the BS... it is exhausting being around that energy & it is harder to find other authentic people to connect with

[@jasminerose2372]

She may have a point...ever since I started being myself and more outgoing around people, the less I've wanted to retreat and be on my own. If it's quiet I need, I find I can just be quiet around people if I want to and accept that for what it is without the fear of being judged. Life is so much better since I began to allow myself to just do what I want wherever I am.

[@jtwright4095]

i hear u, but sometimes i want to fart or "adjust"

[@ablurida]

I relate to this to some extent BUT sometimes it's not just that I want to be quiet, but for my surroundings to be as well.

[@smoky_mtn_paradise]

Enmeshment trauma. I never knew there was a name for what I’ve experienced. Teal you speak directly to my fractured soul. I was born empathic and have unconditional love for all living beings. Both parents were alcoholics. As a result of feeling ‘in the line of fire’ daily, I conformed to what I thought they needed from me. I smiled all the time despite my internal hell, and even stopped speaking until age 12 to try to create the most peaceful experience possible. None of this worked. I escaped at 17 so desperate to find myself, that I spent the next several years living with strangers. As an adult and self employed, for years I hated the facade but did this dance and lost a part of myself in every interaction. Only over the past few years have I found and stepped into my authenticity. As a result I have lost a number of ‘friends’ but the new friends that have gravitated toward me are the ones I feel love me for my truth. These new friends I thoroughly enJOY spending my time with. What an expansive revelation. Thank you deeply for your insights. If there is a chance for our collective consciousness to raise our frequency, YOU and all of us you inspire, will be the example♥️

[@miriamyahushua]

People are spiritual and alone makes the spirit stronger. The body is material flesh. People are scared to be alone, think that boring is not good. They need to be entertained all the time. They forgot how they can entertain them selves. Alone makes stronger and more spiritual.

[@fetterkater7484]

No Mike. It often means that people need to recuperate from loud noises/other people's energies. Most people are actually scared to be alone.

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

Yap true.

[@jsmyth024]

You are correct, IMO. I was listening to a guru speak on this just the other day. Being comfortable when you are alone with yourself is a huge sign of spiritual progression and maturity. Makes sense if you think about it.

[@iatrot]

Yes and constant entertainment takes away from meditation

[@TwighlightAngelRose]

Exactly! One can’t learn by just being around people all the time. Some times our paths takes us to the unknown and sometimes we need to be alone to become stronger. If we rely to heavily on each other that is a whole no situation that would not end well. Team work is grate but to the point we can’t function or even think/defend our selves? Yeah no.

[@mcoonagh]

Up to a point. Sometimes you just want to do things that are not that sociable. Like reading, writing, drawing, meditating, cooking, listening to podcasts, etc. Socialising excessively with people outside the family ('friends and acquaintances') is a hobby for some people. For others socialising w f&a is a special occasion that only needs to happen occasionally. If you have a family of your own, a lot of people just don't have the interest or energy to constantly socialise w f&a... worse still, a lot of people resort to highly addictive, soul degrading, hyper egocentric stimulants to artificially perpetuate a 'social environment'. Not everyone is a pack animal. Not everyone capitulates to the pack mentality. Not everyone is always surrounded by people who are worth socialising with. You do NOT have to socialise without discretion. You do NOT owe other people your time.

[@jeremy454]

Understanding yourself well enough to know the only path to healing is to getting off the grid for a while may be one of the most authentic things you can do. The key is knowing when this time has passed is authentic as well. Humans are not here to live in isolation

[@tracYbusbY333]

I actually do need space from my pets! I asked for space this morning, and shield from them at times when they are being too needy lol 😂

[@CharlesQuiles86]

lol I needed space yesterday when I came home and one dog had an accident in the kitchen... so I let them out... and I stay indoors when it's pollen season...I laughed when she said we don't need space from animals and plants.. I definitely do at times 😄

[@astridjaye6224]

@love Yes they can be

[@Sinoochka]

Me too. Anyone who says pets don't need space, obviously does not have a young/energetic dog. They can easily become too much to handle if you are less energetic.

[@krisharju8093]

Absolutely!!! Chihuahua owner here. Small dogs are extremely needy compared to large dogs.

[@nodiggity8497]

Same, my dog, my husband gets so annoyed that he follows him none stop!

[@cyria2437]

i think some people are introverts and it isn't that they need to take time away from friends and family to be real, they just need to introvert into their own reflective realities of inspiration. This is where art can come from ... a time your own energy can reign free. extroverts don't get that we need to charge for creative out put ... to be all we can be . two different types of psyche. it's good to be open minded of other means of seeing the world as the scope of an extrovert. I think you may be a bit narrow on your view of this subject ... ignorant a bit on introversion

[@annachehagood3460]

I totally agree.

[@cassandrareedy7369]

Totally agree. Teal seems to be coming from the second wave process where she seems judgmental. It's a first wave attribute to rise above dualism and see the whole picture. Since she is stuck in 2nd wave dynamics us first waved feel judged for our unselfish love for ourselves and others.

[@ivantheincredible_]

The definition of an introvert is someone who is recharged from alone time and drained from socializing. Now, considering that we’re social creatures, how is it a good thing to be around people who suck your energy?

[@joanbreen5091]

Well said Iam a introvert and artist and My boyfriend is a extrovert who wants to spend every minute with me.Drives me nuts!!

[@joanbreen5091]

@@cassandrareedy7369 some really good insights here.

[@Sharperthanu1]

One cannot be with ANYONE OR ANYTHING all of the time or one will become SICK of that person or that thing.Wanting some space has nothing to do with being "inauthentic."It can be a way of saving what you have with that person or thing from boredom.

[@danthelambboy]

people who get bored with others aren't engaging with what fulfils them because they are being inauthentic

[@narlywaves2371]

You are so dense.

[@Mysticfoxxxy]

Nobody spoke of being with one individual all the time tho

[@arvella]

Taking time away for yourself to do your own thing is natural and a seperate thing from feeling the urge to completely isolate yourself in an attempt to survive. It’s healthy to have your own space sometimes and then reconnect with people. What Teal is talking about is those who have gone through trauma where the relationships feels suffocating due to lack boundaries so people feel the need to isolate themselves and so the reconnection unstable and therefore the relationships are suffering. Being unable to communicate due to a lack of self awareness around other people (boundaries) is inauthenticity.

[@shaygyrl]

I understand how you feel 100%. I have been where you are. Hang in there.... slowly those feelings will start to change.

[@lovefaith1856]

Well I’m glad an 11 minute video just cleared up and explained 30 years of confusion. Thank you Teal🌸

[@Rainbow2dcore]

8:43 ❤ This is the highlight of the video in human relationships ⭐

[@cowbaisin]

Not sure if I agree...I know people who go out all the time, always like people around, feel great having interactions all the time...and yet they are some of the most fake, two-lifed people I know. I am sure I am not 100% authentic (no one is), but I have learned not to hide who I am for any one. It still doesn't make me want to be around people all the time. My husband and child are the most accepting, not judgmental people I know and yet I still need time away from them. Alone. It has nothing to do with my ability to be authentic in front of them. It has to do with noise and sensory input in general. I just cannot be around a lot of activity for a long time or too many people with all of their various energies. When people say they need space, sometimes is has to do with being able to think and process without others input...sometimes its because they need to evaluate the status of a relationship without someone trying to sway their decision...sometimes we just don't like a particular person so we would rather not be around them...sometimes its hard to be around people who are so fake that you can't hardly have a conversation on a real level with them. To make a blanket statement like "if you need space you are not being authentic" means to deny that there are other reasons why people prefer to be alone.

[@kikki2012]

April Well said!

[@megan9327]

for real. I am always wary of people who are afraid of being alone/always want to be around other people. They usually can't function without someone around to perform for or entertain them so they don't have to deal with themselves.

[@fetterkater7484]

Absolutely well said. I'm the same. I NEED and WANT time on my own. I do have a relationship but a long distance one and that suits me just fine. I'm very sensitive to loud noises (it's enough if I hear a child crying outside to set me off) and I am a writer which means I need peace to create. And yes people can be draining, because even though you are authentic yourself, when you deal with people there is always an exchange of energy. I have a friend who I find quite interesting to talk to but when we are together, we both talk in a high-energy type of way with lots of gesticulation and loud voices so at the end of the convo I am exhausted just by talking for hours lol. The energy between me and him entices us to talk all the time so the different types of energies and dynamics between people have to be taken into consideration as well

[@Thedirtylittletruth]

Well put!

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

I agree fully, and imho she def. has narc traits, thinks she has all the answers and loves telling ppl what to do and can probably NOT accept ppls Boundaries herself :D --the real ones, where they tell her they need Space to be allone at times, which actually is healthy and gives time to reflect and stay with oneself and own values and grounded. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. If you feel you need Space then that is what you do need.

[@ForViewingOnly]

How can I be authentic when I am depressed? A lot of my energy is expended trying to hide how I really feel from everyone, just to function in society and get by in life. I say no to most social opportunities nowadays because the whole thing would be an act for me.

[@helenasplace]

ForViewingOnly I believe you answered your own question

[@Vegan-sj1cv]

Just try it. Yes it will be hard, yes you will lose your mind, yes you will lose your friends/family/job. But at least things are real now.

[@AXharoth]

well u r authentic

[@Katchatiger]

I think she's making a point to stop putting on an act ...it's not helping your depression in fact I'm sure it's contributing to it. People who love and accept you for what you are will accept you when you are depressed as well. The others don't matter.

[@gregorygimigliano]

Figure yourself out and raise your vibrations. Realize life is literally just an illusion or a game if you will. From my experience depression comes from an imbalance or blockages in yourself.

[@FeelingBeingFromTheLiving]

Not everything are black or white. Life comes in shades of grey.

[@AXharoth]

50 of them to be exact xD

[@ashleeb2162]

+Jimmy LeFirst That last line is what I said to a Narcisist. .

[@gregorygimigliano]

Jimmy LeFirst yeah take shrooms or lsd or dmt one time and then tell me that same paragraph.

[@summernight7587]

yes! I always saw the grey areas in life but I was surrounded by Black and white thinkers.... these people never allowed me to be myself ,by always giving me advice, correcting me, or invalidating who I am... As a result I suffered from lost of identity because I was always directly and indirectly told I was wrong. Then I temporally developed social anxiety but Fortunately watching videos like this help me overcome it.

[@louisvuitton56]

Some people see rainbows as well

[@jibberism9910]

Sometimes we need to make the choice between being socially acceptable or being authentic.

[@undrtw66]

Do we not, also, retreat from being judged or persecuted for BEING our authentic selves? I want to be loved, accepted, and understood for who I am, not for who someone wants me to be. Since I refuse to be inauthentic, I often choose to remove myself from those who expect appeasement. If they can't recognize my worth, I'll do it myself.

[@oneoff2960]

I totally did just tell my dog I need some personal space. Not even kidding.

[@macoeur1122]

One Off + lol......Just don't get a cat then. They are notorious for plopping themselves down right in the middle of any project you try and work on.

[@luukassl]

I do the same thing haha : D

[@nekomatta]

When I'm working I don't like to be bothered and I need space from my pets during this time to.

[@missbeebyrose]

I also say it to my dog! 😂

[@veronicahaney3145]

Lol

[@maxmax-sx5yp]

when an artist is working or a writer or a musician creating , they don't want any body around , i don't believe that you can compos a symphony in the bus !

[@elisemartin8189]

i disagree "staying alive" was written on a bridge

[@jakubrogacz6829]

@@elisemartin8189 And most of artists do need contact so that they work is not abstract.

[@CocoaErmine]

I literally actually wrote some of my best song lyrics on a bus. LOL.

[@nowhere-0o0-o]

@@CocoaErmine Try creating an art piece on a bus without person after person going; "What are you doing? Can I see? What's that? I can't tell what it is. You should have done this/that. Why are you drawing that?? That's really good but I have a friend/relative/whatever who draws and they are amazing, you should check them out. Basically that sucks. Etc. etc..." See how far you get on it that way.

[@EddieLeal]

It depends. Not everyone is wired the same.

[@imaginaryuniverse632]

I see the value in your points but I think everyone needs alone time for self reflection. It's a precious few at most who will ever be entirely unaffected by the presence of another.

[@juliopena2098]

Gerard Sanford if you need self reflection its because you have been inauthentic

[@queengoblin]

She literally said that tho

[@spurtydarbhamulla1130]

That's what she meant by using it as a tool.

[@imaginaryuniverse632]

@@juliopena2098 I freed myself from the worry of being authentic, changed my name to Imaginary Universe and never allow myself to be seen in public without a mask. I hope you will keep my true identity secret. 😉

[@juliopena2098]

@@imaginaryuniverse632 haha I see do what you gotta do 😏

[@delmazio1]

I agree… stand your ground, be true yourself, be authentic as you are. Don’t be afraid of losing people who dosen’t like you. If people don’t like you for who you are, then they will just fall away from you and those who are in alignment with who you are will just gravitate towards you. You attract who you are.

[@AWCcoaching]

I love everything you share. You are a gift; thank you. Authenticity is absolutely the key to a healthy relationship - when we feel we can't be authentic around someone, we put up walls and only open the doors to the parts of us that we feel will be accepted by the people we're interacting with. This becomes emotionally tiring because we are hyper-focused on only opening certain doors (out of fear of being vulnerable) so we retreat from others into aloneness where we can just be ourselves, but this often doesn't bring the result we want, because people who retreat into aloneness often feel inadequate or inauthentic even in solitude, so they get away from themselves by engaging again with people, and then retreat - and as Ms. Swan put it - the rubber band affect is in full motion.

[@chantrellwilliams6374]

You’re right! I’m in a relationship where I feel judged for my spiritual beliefs and that’s why I’m always seeking alone time. I know this to be true! Thanks teal!

[@topwrapzltd]

hmmmm..... This video made me need space from the internet.

[@AmamfenguTV]

Haha

[@JaCeLyN1431]

I'm so inauthentic, that if I even imagine people watching me as I do something, I change my behavior 🙃

[@ananastea]

Aria Targaryen lol at times it’s so me

[@nowheregirl2001]

Wow, every time. I also imagine being filmed all the time and I get embarrassed about talking to my dog or dancing in my room like a total freak lol.

[@kimwarburton8490]

Iv been like this 37 now n realise its fucked up every single relationship. Got to point that I didnt know myself

[@lavanyakushwaha324]

Outside this room are my parents, that's a lot. Its exhausting to just go to the bathroom because they're on alert for signals that im out of my room and they can't miss that opportunity, which is sad.

[@apoenaabreu257]

This video hits home just when I needed. Although I am a classic introvert who needs time and space to "recharge", there are certain people and situations that can trigger exactly these feelings of inauthenticity and "being absorbed" and it feels awful. I believe Teal speaks for this kind of situation, or not, but it's certainly a lesson to be extracted here and I am very thankful for it, even after so long

[@zynlove6867]

I have ASD and just found out recently I am almost 40 yrs young. This is exactly me. I never realized this and want to change. I am overwhelmed by the thought of having humans around. Sometimes I need space from my one cat who is needy bc it's just too much. Thanks for this and the other videos heading to them now.💜🕉

[@frostmaiden85]

I truly felt this. Being inauthentic is my natural reflex to being around people. It's a dysfunctional survival mechanism. And yes, I'm almost always alone.

[@edmaiello]

What about introverts who get drained and need to withdraw to "recharge their batteries?"

[@daniel4647]

Introvert is just another perception. Thing is, you're not born like that, it might feel like you are, but it's just a reality you've created that you can change if you want to. You don't have too, if you're happy being an introvert then by all means, but if you're the type of person that push people away to the point where you don't have anyone to be around you anymore and you can't keep a relationship even though you want to, then maybe you don't really want to be like that. We keep identifying with all these labels, I'm an introvert, I'm depressed, I got PTSD, I'm British, I like Xbox, but it's all just nonsense we make up in our head. And we can keep that nonsense, or replace it with other nonsense. It all just depends on what you want. I know it doesn't seem that way when you're in it, it seems like you can't really control it. I know, I was depressed and suicidal for over a decade. But that doesn't change the fact that I was the one creating that depression. Sure, there where many outside factors, but the only reason those outside factors could affect me was because I let them. Anyway, what I'm saying is that you're not an introvert, you're a human, and humans need to identify as something, you picked introvert. You probably picked this label because you related to how others with this label feel and think. But you never really stopped to question why you feel this way, instead you just took it as validation and went "that's me". The same thing can be said for extroverts of course, that's not "right" either. There is no right or wrong way to be, the only thing that matter is if you're getting what you want out of how you are. If the answer is no then you might want to change, if the answer is yes then keep doing what you're doing.

[@msharif2257]

Evandro RedPhoenix I AGREE, like you said we express ourselves through our own words based on that which resonates with us coming from the center of our own universe just like how you are experiencing life from the center of your own universe and the rest is life that you are conceiving, constructing, and projecting. I would consider myself an introvert because that’s just my nature, however at the right place and with the right person I am continuously talking non stop and we are having an intimate moment with whomever it may be... it’s rare though:” 99.99% of the time I am trying to show them something... Anyways We prefer to be alone because we have our own aura and not the mixture of other auras. We are either choosing to express ourself or not, that’s about it. We do these on different degrees. *The real question is... What’s the circumstance? why are you expressing yourself to begin with? Are you hurt? Why or why not? Is it necessary? Will it change anything? These you should know instantly, if not then your not spiritually inclined or you don’t have a heightened intuition. We are on both sides of the scale and based on your environment and the placement of people, places, and experiences these will have an influence on the person and also based on their level of knowledge they will emanate their signature energy or not. *You could express yourself *or this is what i usually do and it doesn’t bother me at all because I understand others and I am always curious to hear others expression or not expression themselves and that’s about it. I could acknowledge myself and what’s going on at the moment around me and i could just be there and realize without any interference. I don’t express myself to certain people like my dad or brother or mother or friends because if I did I would over power them. Not consciously, but they will experience this more deeply because If I express myself they will not retain all the information and they will be lift speech less. This will not happen because their level of perception and feelings aren’t like that of mine because nothing disturbs my peace of mind ever. I smile because I see that these people are expressing themselves and their thoughts and feelings, so I appreciate this and I respect them for this. Because if I step in and if I ever say anything it will be to instruct them:” So I don’t want to seem like I am always advising them because they will realize they have to make a shift and adapt to this shift even though it will take time and since it takes time to get to a moment all it takes is a moment to change time 💥, then repetition for them because some things come easy to us and other things come easier to them so we have to acknowledge this and it is. We have to realize not everyone is the same no matter what they label themselves or what they express. They are who they are, and who they are is based on the observer. people are different and some work differently and they are wired differently and each person is like a Manuel book. You could either read them or, you could ask them[the author] to speak to you from his world. And from there you could be enlightened 💫

[@lauramcnamee4100]

I have been slowly but surely embracing my authentic self around people who have suffocated me (narcissists). Trying to do this as a tactic to repel them, but they stick like you know what on to the side of a toilet bowl. It's difficult to be yourself when that meant violence against you and having any semblance of self worth etc literally knocked out of you... Be patient with yourselves and don't be afraid to be alone if you are surrounded by those types

[@zoooejenkins]

The only time that I feel I can be myself around anyone is when I’m microdosing LSD. I’ve had PTSD and social anxiety my entire life.

[@mumamillar4718]

wow this just hit me like a slap in the face. realised over the past couple of years i don't want to be nice and sweet and agreeable all the time. trouble is that's how people expect me to be and iv'e found it easier to withdraw from old friendships rather than lie. i think Teal is spot on with this!

[@jtwright4095]

this😊

[@Latoree33]

I've never knew what this was called. Trauma in it's entirety leaves some of us not wanting any bad in our lives. Picking out the bad makes me feel safe and I'm content and satisfied. Conflict is my boundaries.

[@ZowieFaerieYeah]

I feel like this video totally contradicts your video on personal boundaries

[@journeytoself]

We are social beings...but we are also individuals...Alone time is needed for self awareness...relaxation, meditation, divination, silence is what we need most...a quiet dog or cat are ok...if they need petting at my alone time, they aso bother my alone time...if that makes me inauthentic then I am ok with that...

[@TheBluSerpent]

So much truth in this. I tried so many times to be my real self with others, but when people keep on disappointing you, the motivation to even attempt to be yourself gets smaller every single time. I am now at the point that I stopped trying to connect to others and just be myself when I'm by myself. Why bother to try and be authentic with others, while you already know you are too different, in contrary to being by yourself, able to be fully yourself, do whatever you want and be happy with what you are doing

[@pchypie8801]

This resonates with me. There are a select few people I never need space from and they are those I feel 100% comfortable being 100% myself with. We can exist in our own space while in the same space. I can take time to be quiet and not outwardly social while in the space with them so I don't need time away from them.

[@Thedirtylittletruth]

Why do we use the restroom alone? Why do we sleep alone instead of like a community? Why do all have separate homes? Why is sex done in private? ... because BALANCE.... some people like to be alone in full, some people like to end their day alone but be with people in the day.. some people are judged, hurt and traumatized from being their true self in front of people so never like to be around people at all... some people are empathic and just beed a break to reconnect to source, clarify and heal so that they can be whole enough to go out in this world and heal others..... even monks meditate in private monasteries and not in the city.. some monks meditate out in the city... “Alone Time” is personal and custom to each individual on this planet and probably wont look like the next persons idea of what it even means to be alone in the first place.... I agree with others when they say the title of this video is off putting and a blanket statement... Not true for all! LIVE AND LET LIVE ❤️💚💜💙💛

[@TisTheeDae]

Those all involve having privacy and the reason ppl want privacy is because they dont feel comfortable doing something in front of others. Which is technically inauthentic. It makes sense. For example, depending on where im at im comfortable with people hearing or seeing me have s*x and that’s where i feel most like myself. At my bfs house with his roommates I could care less but at my place with my female roommates im afraid of being judged so im still uncomfortable and shy.

[@Dani-el9nf]

This is the one

[@sereneriversTV]

In same cultures people actually do poop in community and have sex in front of the community… not in a perverted type of way. They just see it as natural and normal to do in public.

[@aussiejubes]

@@sereneriversTV that's irrelevant when that's not the society we live and operate in.

[@riverdeep399]

We are over populated and numb by it. In lockdown there were so few people about on walks to the shop that small interactions were valuable. Walking crammed down a street with a lack of personal space dismisses the heart felt exchanges.

[@laurencewhittemore5384]

I know I used to be inauthentic. Or at least there would be a sense of relief when a person left a group of people I was in. In the last year and a half I have been through so much I no longer feel that is my way anymore. I find I can talk to strangers and not worry about how they feel. But It is empowering for you to describe in such detail that scenario. Wow, you pack a mean punch of information in your material. I have never heard anyone address this topic so well. Thank you

[@Obviouslynotabackupaccount]

Yesss I don’t know how to be me around others so I’ve been alone for 2 months and counting and it feels bliss.

[@jaimegribble9014]

I disagree. First of all a preference (ice cream flavor) doesn't define a person. I'm an empath and most people are seriously messed up, or unbalanced at the least. No matter how authentic I am, or how strong my shields are, sometimes other people's energy can effect me. With friends & family this can be even worse because I'm close to them. Like my children for example can throw me off balance faster then anyone ever has. I am always aware of this, and work hard to move my energy and flush anything not mine out. This is work. I can get fatigued if I don't have time to myself to recharge.

[@happyhermit3180]

Jaime Gribble I feel you .....no seriously I'm a empath too and there's a lot off life sucking vampires out there !! I need to recharge simple cos most of the folk I work with are babies in adult bodies and I simply can't be arsed we wiping their backsides 24/7 its their life lessons not mine ! I've got enough to be working on in my own life ...so I go home and recharge and mix we the few folk who r like me .Simple that's me and I AM .

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

preference of anything is not a boundary - she is talking nonsence at that point to justify her overstepping of healthy Boundaries!!!! Huge major red flag.

[@jankom.7783]

For some people, their preferences defines them (individualistic). They seek to achieve their goals. For other, it is how they make sense of things (nice people). They seek to achieve emotionaly harmonious environment.

[@danielbarrera8391]

Has anyone read The Betty Book where a spiritual medium deals with being thrown into a random environment ( by higher spiritual beings ) and remarked how she felt rapidly drained? In that she had to step back from the crowd to gather herself. I actually don't think teal is unaware of this at all. By becoming authentic with the outside world though about this issue is the only way it can improve. Eventually she was more vocal in her physical relationships with people who had self destructive tendencies. I think thats what Teal is trying to preach here: if we simply disconnect and don't communicate the truth of what we're feeling then the outside reflection of the world begins to deteriorate and we may become self absorbed to avoid the potenial pain of rejection or just fear owning responsibility to the world.

[@athulyasurendran7639]

@@danielbarrera8391 yep finally someone got the meaning of the video

[@Mereno1989]

Dang like can't I just find people exhausting?

[@AXharoth]

triggered much?

[@cyria2437]

yes you can because some people are exhausting . if we were dealing with 100% authentic people here, it would be easier to not need to recharge the batteries and have time for creative artwork . even if we had 100 percent angels I would still need my own to for inner reflection for self better ment and the betterment of my community and to create artwork... but we are surrounded by inauthenticity then we even more so need time away to purify our crystal minds ... to give authenticity back and recharge the whole system

[@cyria2437]

you triggered much lol

[@danielramos8831]

I think so. I think the point she is making is maybe people who are draining is maybe THEY aren't being authentic and it makes you not be authentic too. Google Mirror Neurons. We tend to mirror people. I agree, sometimes some people I avoid because they are energy vampires and drain me with their constant talk, not conversation, but TALK. Maybe if we could be authentic and tell people, "hey I am really sorry but I can't talk right now" or whatever and get away from them, or even, "you are draining me with your talk", then we would be authentic to ourselves and that person wouldn't actually start draining us. Just my thoughts! What do you think>?

[@jsmyth024]

Yeah, you can. I found this video exhausting. haha #authenticaf

[@minamesparkletits6714]

I have expirienced abandonment and immeshment trauma.

[@LisaPurrs]

Jokes aside, I needed this. My mind is blowing. The hardest thing for me is to accept that I need people AND be authentic at the same time

[@grievouserror]

This was an amazing description of traits I've long possessed, except that I adopted them very consciously over a period of years in childhood and adolescence. I vividly remember having conversations with myself and coming up with ways to be safe and not make people angry.

[@lenaforsell6713]

Sorry I dont agree we are all different. I love being by myself .

[@cyria2437]

kkeep loving beauty

[@totallyanonymousbish9599]

Lena Forsell You didn't understand the video lol.

[@tamzenkarma]

Agreed 🙏❤️💜

[@tamzenkarma]

Don't agree with this at all She's not always right ....... She's just a person with opinions, after all

[@Katchatiger]

I don't agree totally. I don't argue that Teal makes a good point about authenticity or that we require connection, however as I age I find I not only want more "space" but I absolutely require it and for longer periods. I have lived my entire life with other people. Some of them I didn't like and it wasn't because I wasn't being "my authentic self". It's because we weren't compatible. My ideas about the way life should be just didn't jive with the other. I need space to think, I need space to create, I need space for shadow work. Sometimes it just feels good to be alone with no agenda. But it's a delicacy to me. I notice when I get the space I desire I feel refreshed and desiring for company. I think I understand what she's saying but I think wanting space is good. Everybody needs downtime away from others to reset their energy.

[@pamelamccabe-g7b]

Time with loved ones is great. Time to myself is great. Both things are true. And authentic.

[@rashidareeves78]

I need space has been my "thing" since my teens. I'm 43 now. Thank you for this.

[@lauraleabo6932]

I PICKUP OTHERS FEELINGS THOUGHTS EMOTIONS ETC. IF ALONE I ONLY HAVE MINE.

[@Dounia]

beautiful shadow perspective.

[@toriarose]

At first I immediately decided this is total bullsh*t, but then you said some things I agree with. But then, with your indicating this is kind of an absolute thing, nah, back to knowing that much of this is bullsh*t. Too extreme, too simplistic. People are both the same, and different. I agree that we are often "inauthentic" when around others. It is a necessity, both to be civil and kind. Not to mention basic survival in many situations... And also, so that life isn't one conflict after another and having to constantly explain oneself. Like, you walk into a room and you don't feel like smiling, maybe you even feel like crying... And so others say, "What's wrong, why aren't you smiling...why are you crying?" ... Maybe being authentic, you'd respond, "Why don't you STFU, I just don't feel well." Um yeah, pretty much anyone would exit with that and similar "authentic" responses, lol. This reality is such that we do have to curb our "authenticity" to some degree most of the time, when around others. So yes, we do need time alone. Constant togetherness is the thing? No, that's not truth. Maybe it's your truth, which in my view, says something about your own psychological health, and level of authenticity. Additionally, many of us are hypersensitive to the energy of others. It's draining, overwhelming...we need that healing down time, alone time. That's about good self-care, not being inauthentic.

[@TwoMenAndLady]

Now this I agree with!

[@lucidreflections]

maybe this is the case some times, but i love my alone space from an empowered place... it is a need i have... it DOES include pets for me! sometimes i just need to be in my own energy to feel relaxed, sometimes it's a matter of being clear on my identity when spending too much time with others, but sometimes something existential hits me with this total wonder and awe of being in a body... experiencing a body... i go to this far out totally intimate place when i'm just spending time with myself. My need for space and introversion has often been judged by my family and it was a boundary i had to validate for myself. it is true at some times, but not exclusivley... i wish you might discover the amazing wonder and deep fulfillment of solitude, and of traveling or experiencing life solo... ballance!

[@jenjen5911]

Matt Kahn explains this beautifully... it's called the gift of space 🙌

[@hehethattickles2152]

Narcissists never understand empaths.

[@missj794]

agreed.

[@にちはHYPERSPACE]

therefore teal swan never understands them.

[@dharmadharma3960]

Yes, smtms you do have to protect yourself. Point.

[@totallyanonymousbish9599]

Queen Beast Of course she does.

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

i also caught on to that vibe in above vid. not all of it is wrong, it is important to be able to open up to another person, but this i will tell you who you are and how you should be patronizing, arrogant, from above attitude is allmost making me sick....but as allways those ppl are blessings in disguise for me bc they show me WHAT I DO NOT WANT and WHO I REALLY AM bc their BS causes a Reaction in me and i ask myself what do I want and how do I feel about this trully?

[@clvkforessaycollege190]

Yea I’m just laying down here listening to Teal telling me my life story

[@jesseforce9933]

I dropped all of my friends except for my older neighbor and my work friend, who I've known for 20 some years because I had stuff to get done in life and I work 60 hours a week every other week. I got most of it done and didn't deal with drama. AMAZING!

[@jsmyth024]

Yeah, she's way off base here. Everyone's entitled to be wrong, I guess, but this level of judgment hinders humanity and confuses people who might not know themselves well enough to realize where they stand. They may try to conform to her viewpoint b/c they want to be "authentic", not realizing that they ARE being authentic, when they realize, "Hey, I just need some space right now". THIS can lead to pressure and exhaustion. And I, for one, DO like time away from my dog. Sometimes I just need peace and the ability to move without some being crawling all over me. People go bye-bye and my doggy gets to enjoy time outside with his birdy friends. I've been in a steady relationship with my spouse for 20 years and, believe me, if he wasn't comfortable enough to allow me my alone time, it never would have worked. Luckily, he learned to understand me through trial and error and our relationship is so much stronger for it. Some of the insight was good, though, just felt the need to clarify from my side of the mountain. HER reality is not the same as everyone else's reality. Know thyself.

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

Amen! so true.

[@akashicrose5551]

This exactly to the tee what I felt. Thank you for confirming. Beautifully said. I notice sometimes she forgets that consciousness as it expresses itself on earth can often have extremely different realities that can be even beyond her understanding without actual experience, which is why there is no one person is right and knows all.

[@darkdevil6508]

@@akashicrose5551 I find it funny how i also strongly believed teal was wrong generalizing this idea because i myself need space sometimes to meditate , reevaluate , analyze , re energize and draw conclusions helping me become a better , healthier and more understanding version of me. But after reading all the opinions that contradict teal here , opinions that i almost literally agreed fully on before reading them , they made me change my mind and approve this generalization without being pedantic. We , as " exception " of the rule , disagree with her this time but we forget that the truth and facts don t care about our feelings. My truth doesn t influence the fact that my inabillity to be me in the presence of highly tolerable or intolerable people does in fact make me be inauthentic regardless of the situation and context. It is entirely my choice who i deem realistically perfect to be my partner for life but that doesn t mean that my choice is the healthiest or best choice , it comes down to preference and limitated knowledge about myself and what i THINK i want not actually really need. If i can not be me without the need of alone time , unless it s a very brief moment , in my partner s presence then either i have work to do with my attitude , mentality and temperament or my partner doesn t or isn t capable of allowing me to not feel drained emotionally. Most of the time it is both more or less. If you actively search , really search people and can not find one single person that makes you feel seen , understood sufficiently during the time spent with them regardless of long or short then you either a serious problem at hand that you re complacent with and are in denial in actively accepting it and improve on it or you simply are incredibly unlucky to be in a very toxic circle of people. I , you and everyone else are as authentic as our traumas , character and intelligence allows us in the right kind of people. It s no shame to accept that there s a (valid or not ) problem with us and/or the people we choose to spend our time with. It s up to us to improve ourselves and/or help others who are genuinely interested to improve/become a better , more understanding version of themselves OR to be complacent and accept that hurting each other is more tolerable than trying to improve the situation we re all in emotionally.

[@vil4038]

i 100 per cent agree.

[@momoso143]

Actually, she hit the nail on the head for me, this is a problem I have been struggling with since i can remeber and I always thought it was because I was shy or an introvert. But I do have problems being myself because I was always so harshly put down yelled at and criticized with cursing and criticism

[@breakingfoundations]

I get so confused watching these, cuz i related but there's so much more that has brought me to the point of wanting to be alone, like abandonment and harassment ect. Then add some messed up thoughts and soon i'm lost on who i truely am. I overwhelm myself trying to apply the advice when i related to too many different topics at once though. I just try to believe i'l figure life out someday, and never give up no matter how tempting it may be. I love your advice! Thank you

[@helenasplace]

breakingfoundations This resonates with me 🙏🏻✨❤️

[@Awakeinthedreamofme]

People of the KZbin: I would like to say I agree with Teal on this if you're someone who is always addicted to alone time. Otherwise, space is an excellent way to re-connect and re-balance. The other side of the spectrum is people who can't stand being alone, are they also inauthentic, or do they have a codependency issue? I would go as far to say space is necessary at first, it can lead to deeper states that cannot be achieved when around people.

[@psykkomancz]

"Addicted to alone time" is pretty neat and accurate expression....

[@jenjen5911]

Love this thankyou 💗

[@ChooseTruthAlways]

Also because every time I am with some of "these" people their demands are never ending. As if I existed to serve them in every single way. They exhaust my energy and of my own life.

[@gederinwinter-u2t]

Thanks for the video Teal. You're brilliant ( as usual )

[@mishyfishy389]

I feel this especially when I'm feeling low or sad. I don't want to try and pretend to be happy and positive I just wish to sit with my feelings

[@blue_sky_bright_sun7599]

this has to be one of the most genius videos I've ever seen, one of the most relevant to me at least. I am so happy you made this one.

[@aishabriggs9108]

Gr8 truth.

[@koalapenguine]

OMG... I got really triggered with this one. I wanted to blame you and tell myself this story that you are just projecting your own insecurities. I stuck with watching the whole video as openly as I could and it took me to a place of my deep wounding that needed so much love and attention. I am so scared to be authentic.... It is going to take a lot of courage and allowing many awkward attempts at being true to myself. I'm taking a deep breath as I get ready to take baby steps toward healing this wound. There is so much grief for having suffered so much all these years from abandoning myself. I also feel an intense fear of abandonment, shame, and blame that I just want to run away from all people. Sigh~ But I feel resolute in my commitment to recover myself. It is the only way to move forward and live. I long to live in true freedom... Thank you so much for your courageous lead. The words can't describe the warriorship you have taken on. I am so grateful... May you be supported and protected by the Divine always as you blaze through our old paradigm paving the way...

[@RoosStokkel]

I love your comment! Very courageous to look yourself in the eye like that

[@roshalllambert]

Omg I thought the same thing, I initially got angry after reading the title but as I began to watch this video it was such an eye opening experience. I have a dismissive avoidant attachment style and this description fits accurately for me. Most dismissive avoidant attachment people come from an early environment of neglect so they believe that they have to give up on their identity to form connection with others.

[@Lisa_Polikeit]

🙏💖✨

[@tammy6452]

The gentle but firm push to keep changing.

[@tuanngocnguyen1262]

You are literally telling the story of my life to me, so I can reflect on it from an entire different perspective. I have been so emerged in it and suffering it without actually seeing the true mechanic underlying. Thank you so much Teal Swan you are my savior

[@katiie7]

I feel my energy sucked around people especiallyy making small talk. Waste of my time and theirs

[@monstermuxx]

Actually small talk can be a very pleasant way to share energies in a casual way. I used to despise small talk but it is somewhat needed to connect with people. Words only make up a tiny amount of an interaction, after all. People you vibe with will pick it up fast enough and then your conversation can surpass 'small talk'. Eventually you open yourself up to connect with a wider range of people. When I do small talk it's more about probing mutual interest, and if that's absent I kindly move on. I used to be a loner and introvert, but by having a different perception of socializing it became much easier for me and also a lot of fun. And never about catering to someone's needs, but about sharing authentically, wich requires some guts. I guess also socializing is quite different for men opposed to women in some places. Ah well, drifting off, wich is good. I went from being socially awkward to being able to connect with a lot of people in a reasonably short time, and it feels good! Wanted to share. Best of wishes and love from the Netherlands

[@springhaze4830]

I agree with this video for the most part, and I would also add a truth about life: we die alone. The "self" is all we really have. And when "abandonment" does happen, we have no choice but to be alone with that feeling so we can learn to process these hard feelings on our own. Our relationship with ourselves is where it all starts, and if we can't hear ourselves when we're around others due to trauma, then we do in fact need to be alone in order to reconnect. I think the key question is: how can we bring that authenticity to when we are around others? It's hard and scary. Regardless, the alone time is required to get in touch with the self for those of us who struggle with this so that we actually know what we desire, feel, value, believe, etc. I think there is some resistance in this video to solitude and focuses a lot on the shadow side of it rather than the light side of it, which I don't fully agree with.

[@springhaze4830]

I also believe there is a timing. We spread authenticity from the center of the self, so we have to first journey to the center of ourselves before we have anything to spread. We have no choice but to take this journey alone. We will share when we feel ready.

[@springhaze4830]

Aaaaand, when we are alone, we can work on certain things that help us with connecting when we are around others. In addition to getting in touch with ourselves, we have more uninterrupted time to explore our thoughts and feelings more deeply, to read, to write, to learn, to really develop and know who we are. I think most introverts can attest to this.

[@springhaze4830]

I think being alone to reflect is important, even for extroverts.

[@RoosStokkel]

"I think there is some resistance in this video to solitude and focuses a lot on the shadow side of it rather than the light side of it." Yeah I agree about the focusing part (don't know about Teals resistance or not ;) ) Still, this video was a huge eye-opener to me, as I recognize my boyfriend having enmeshment trauma. He needs a lot of space, I need more connection. Now in the middle of resolving this (hopefully). There is contraction before expansion sure... but how lovely would it be to process through solitude together, to go inward in the same room, to just hold space for that, while you're together? I have a little bit enmeshment trauma, I can't really be myself with my mother, sooner or later I will need a lot of alone time away from her. So I understand what this feels like. I have identified myself as an introvert. I am now really wondering what introversion actually means. If it has anything to do with needing space. I think that Teals perspective that this is just enmeshment trauma/poor boundaries is true for me as well. Letting yourself be overstimulated because of that (in some weird roundabout way to connect by letting other peoples' energies in without any filter), and thus, needing a time-out. If I admit to my solitude in a room of people that overstimulate me, that I don't feel connected to, suddenly my boundaries are present again, I'm authentic, and I don't need any space anymore... AND I feel connected again. All of my needs are being met in that moment. I actually did this a couple of weeks ago and only now I understand what it means, because of this video, your comment and my thought process afterwards...

[@HugBunnies]

Thank you Teal c: I will definitely do my best to be more authentic. I'm definitely moving more towards authenticity at this time, and desire to be connected to people to would love who I am. Love you, Teal!

[@tijanabosk228]

I actually disagree with this. Yes being drained around other people can mean you're not comfortable being yourself around them, but what if you're surrounded by really negative people who just want to destroy any sense of purpose or clarity that you may have. QUICK STORY: When I was in academia finishing an MA, I was ostracized by the department over an incident of bullying over social media where I was the target. My counsellor at the university also illegally released my health records to essentially feed the rumour mill. I filed a human rights case against the university but they denied doing any such thing. My family then turned on me in a similar way quickly after they started hearing about it from the "outside community" (disregarding the multiple times I attempted to speak to them about it). Anyway, I started seeing an energy / chakra therapist around this time, who told me that my amygdala was very heightened as I was living in a constant state of fear in my home. In a way, I can see this proving Teal's point that I was not being my authentic self around these people (family, community, professional colleaugues/supervisors). But is that really a state of inauthenticity or just an innate aversion to a hostile, negative environment? No one would obviously "just relax and be themselves" in this kind of situation --- or is that what she's suggesting? Is enlightenment then a disdain for safety and a total oneness with the moment? It's actually a curious question. Most ironically - I had 2 energy healers to help me cope with this / one focusing on chakra re-allignment, and another doing energy work. The first one told me I needed to drop all my friends because they thought they could disrespect me because of what happened and laughed, saying she couldn't imagine her friends "treating her like a dog.." (she was right, I did, and it was good), but again, how would you maintain authenticity in this? Both chakra/energy healers stopped helping me ultimately, the first one saying she believed she could help me, but it was too much to take on then because she had no time due to other clients and going on vacation. While the other one sympathized as she had gone through a similar experience of social ostracism, while being in a spiritual dance community where she lived with the members in a commune-styled house and had an affair with the teacher, causing her to move away to Hawaii for 4 years. However, since coming back she was rebuilding her life as a serious massage therapist / energy worker in Toronto, and didn't really want to be associated with someone the community had turned against. I don't blame these people or hold it against them. But it just goes to show, you never know who you're dealing with, and a lot of spiritual people are just as messed up, having all kinds of their own issues, and are consequently incapable of helping someone with any real degree of integrity when it becomes a community issue. If you really attempt to address these issues, most people will prove to be "inauthentic" in that, they will just shut you out or try to harass you. I guess it's not important and these "stories" are not your authentic self anyway, but I don't think it's always bad to seek out solitude. It's quite powerful and humbling actually, and if more people did it, maybe there would be more people with independent energies, capable of flowing above whatever is going on around them.

[@BernadetteTeachesMusic]

I love being with my family and surrounded by people but I am an only child. I was alone daily when I played, did homework, or even slept. Wanting to be alone, for me, is really just a matter of habit. Being alone feels like meditation

[@brittanypojednic4101]

This could not have been explained better. Amazing.

[@thankyoujesus2836]

This video is so FREAKING TRUE. IAM DEFINETLY ONE OF THESE PEOPLE

[@azy3929]

me too. As magnifite by this video as you. And it even makes sense in my story, bc basically I use that space to come back to people more streight inside myself and ao, more authentic. And I see and criticese my own fakes asnwers when they come.. is the way that gonna be right

[@joyfulcookie92]

dont listen to her. she is demonic

[@madelyntoday7093]

I do need space around dogs. I like dogs for maybe an hour and then I'm like why don't you go bug someone else.

[@serahbrandenn434]

LOL some dogs can be needy...the last dog I had to be constantly with me. even go so far as to get into the hammock with me.

[@annm.4353]

Madelyn Today Funny, I'm the opposite. I like certain PEOPLE for maybe an hour ;) I can be around dogs all day every day though. I guess I have some stuff to work on...

[@madelyntoday7093]

After thinking about it I realized something. I can't be authentic around dogs! Because I like to be a people pleaser so when a dog wants my attention I feel like I have to give it to them even through I don't want to. It's really a vicious circle, because if I don't give it then I feel guilty. Cats are different. I'm fine letting them curl up on my lap while I do my own thing. They rarely cause me trouble.

[@annette454]

Madelyn Today lol same

[@sarac.5153]

Wow I hear a lot of comments from people who probably shouldn't own pets. Jeez people. And It's hard to listen to this woman while she is snickering about what some obviously struggle with. This is the first Teal video I've seen and now I know why. Your subject matter might be good info but I think you need to work on your compassion if you seek to help. Blessings

[@johnluiss4163]

THANK YOU SO MUCH THAT JUST CHANGED A WHOLE ASPECT ABOUT MY LIFE!

[@fuegovioleta]

I love you !!!

[@hclark6053]

It ain’t so dang complicated. People can be exhausting. Working together, chasing down game and procreating are great. But talk talk talking and think think thinking are exactly why so many people are living in their heads. Less people, less drama.

[@maramariajarvis3425]

Ohhh she's soooo right, I was a little puzzled at the beginning but she made a great point at the end. Love this woman

[@jackiebenson11]

This hits me hard. So true. Thank you! I’ve struggled with this for years.

[@lunamaria7467]

Well if I am 100% authentic with my friends and family, they laugh at me and tell me to fix up. They don't want to hear about spirituality and E.T.'s. So can you blame me for wanting alone time? I do have a few spiritual friends though, I feel uplifted instead of drained after I've been with them.

[@sandrakagwiria2231]

Yeeessss me too

[@macoeur1122]

I'd never heard the phrase "enmeshment trauma"....although I feel I've seen enough of it, now that I've heard what it is, to completely understand what Teal describes here, but I also feel it's possible that some people are just more introverted than others. Now she has me wondering if all introverts are just people suffering from "enmeshment trauma". A couple of years ago I did a little reading on introversion vs. extroversion and decided that if I had to place myself on the spectrum I'd probably be slightly more introverted....like maybe...on a scale from 1 to 12 I'd be a 5. But even at that time, I seriously considered the possibility that my regular need for alone time might be a result of the "quality" of "together time" I've experienced in my life. I don't believe this led me to be inauthentic though....Instead, it led me to needing alone time....or "no pressure" time....or "get the f$#@ off my back!" time. I actually feel it's what led me to being an Enneagram type 5. I truly feel I have no trouble being authentic with some people, and I just avoid those people who strike me as rigid or controlling...basically people who I feel can't handle my authenticity. So in this sense, I would say that NOT ALL people who regularly choose "alone time" are struggling with their own personal "in-authenticity". I often feel that certain people want more from me than I'm getting out of being with them. It's almost like a basic math equation. We have to feel we're getting enough out of time spent with others that it at least equals the enjoyment we could be getting in some other way (reading, learning, creative endeavors, etc...)...and let's face it...that whole "mask" thing has become more and more prevalent..masks everywhere you turn....and who wants to waste precious time "pretend-connecting" with someone else's mask?

[@pinargosterisli8249]

exactly!

[@apollofateh324]

Yes, that's exactly it: people have to be more uplifting to hang out with then yourself and your own vibe, and a lot of times that's a tall order, and most people aren't like that. So it's just easier to be alone and vibe out then deal with the hodgepodge of other people's thoughts all the time.

[@makesgoodcoffee6031]

Woah. Actually resonates and I need to work on this. Thank you. I do often get exhausted or drained being around people and I need my own space. Never realized what’s’s at the core. Thank you. A part of the ego might want to resist this message. But then think about children. They are acting anyway they feel and often laughing and playing and having a great time no matter who’s around and the adults, feel exhausted and depleted by the end of it but the children don’t. It’s because they’re not adjusting who they are, where as the adult is trying to be polite, or caring, or socially acceptable/do the right thing be mindful of others, etc. if I was just doing whatever I wanted with people around, then I would take a nap with them around I would put my headphones with them around I would go to a corner where it’s is quiet, or not listen to what they’re saying if i wasn’t wanting to- authentically. I wouldn’t need them to be away to do what I want or Express what I want because they would respect what I want. I want that for me . I wouldn’t be thinking that I need to get away from them. I’d be doing whatever the heck I want with them witnessing that. And then they would be choosing whether or not to accept me that very way, engage in it with me or not, or walk out of the room for THEIR needed alone space 😁…

[@Tahia_rt]

What a wonderful way to explain boundaries