Do you or do you not give an explanation before you cut someone off???

[@cocobutterfly01]

disappear like I owe you $5😂😂😂😂😂

[@cecil4713]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@patriciasalaam42]

Explanations are a waste of time if you're dealing with foolishness. I just slip away and stop communicating.

[@anastasiajohnson4768]

Yes thats what I'm talking about a relative told me being an adult is to let someone know why smh 🤷🏿🤦🏿

[@nqobilentuli4244]

Matthew Hussey says "disinterest is a form of closure". The person ain't feeling you. What more do you guys need to discuss?

[@amiflash10]

You're right 100% right! When you cut people off, most of the time they know exactly why.

[@Maria-bb]

Of course they know 🙄

[@meldenise779]

"I'll hit you up when I need help tryna shed skin or slither around in grass" 😂 Everything he says is on point; I keep telling people to check out his videos.

[@81sexislim]

Check out Kevin Hicks page too

[@DayaTom]

"Some people don't talk to strangers, I don't talk to snakes."

[@nancy5821]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@m.williams3497]

Nope. every person I ever cut off was due to them trying to play me or use me up. my time is valuable and No One is going to make me bitter. so I eliminate with the quickness✌.

[@anotherdimensionalentity1040]

Why are we expected to provide an explanation if we cut someone out our life? We are adults and not on trial. In most cases, people are cut off for a reason, but they want an explanation. But why? When they possibly know why. If you provide an explanation, they will spin their side of the story trying to cover their tracks as being innocent. No, it's not worth it.

[@mrs.camillewarrenempress3115]

Been going through the same thing . I got tirder of playing games also. My whole energy goes to my kids and family . Especially my mom had been their for me

[@marvinbienaime2012]

No, I refuse to explain myself. We're all grown, you know right from wrong. Once a friend of an associate crosses me, I'm done with them, especially since they KNOW BETTER.

[@artavialineszy9453]

Yes sir. When I'm tired of being screwed over I leave. No explanations no demonstrations.

[@cc-ro5xd]

Silence speaks louder than words!

[@Ruffrob]

Excellent!! Whenever you have to tell a grown ass man or woman what to do......you are wasting your fucking breath...cause if they don't know now ,they NEVER will..

[@christicrenshaw2772]

Why does it really matter. They never tell the truth anyways.

[@AZITHEMLGPRO]

What?

[@TheTeneSheri]

I love this guy......so blunt and realistic....he reminds me everyday that I deserve better and for that I thank you Derick 👍👍👍

[@frankiegunnz8066]

You still love him In March 2021?

[@kittybeast29]

yes I definitely agree with Derrick on this one. I'm not explaining anything. If I have said what I need to say at least twice and you still didn't fix the situation ain't no more talking. It's called I'm about to disappear for real. nobody should have to repeat themselves really more than once about something a person has done to cause issues.

[@kolachampagne5543]

No explanation!!! Some relationship just have to be cut off and done! #Ithastodie

[@mznginear]

If I cut someone off...I want them to have closure too. I don't want them slithering back into my life simply because they don't know why I'm done with them.

[@Lizziesouth]

mznginear Is there such thing as closure when it comes to relationships?

[@ashleyp.5881]

mznginear show them right back to the door. But at least by then you’ll be able to give a calm explanation because you won’t be as heated.

[@ShellymanStudios]

I sorta agree, I need to start cutting people off without explanation. They'll figure it out.

[@SublimeLullaby]

Yes there are closures, except with narcissists. These won't ever close the door.

[@kekesassycutie3936]

Seriously F🤬UCK closure all the closure I need is that I’m getting closer to what’s I well deserved....the truth was told by me mean it’s no lie ....🙌I’m real Queen 👸 in all queens out there in the real world 🌎👉🏼👸 understand my point @ 💯.............🙌

[@donnamcmanus7360]

I was a soft touch...learned a few hard lessons. I give no explanation when cut offs occur. My inner voice is clear...you'll need me before I'll ever need you.

[@CaseyBear87]

I don't explain myself before cutting someone off. If they don't know why I did it, I can't help them. If I do cut someone off, chances are they had it coming for a while. I don't like confrontation so I don't do it. When people cut me off, they make sure to make it as painful as possible on their way out, and I can't do that...it's not right.

[@Morrocanprincess]

i agree 100% I had a friend who used to break plans all the time last minute she all of a sudden couldn't make it due to some lame excuse. Yet on Snapchat she would have time for other friends, drinking, smoking shisha and only called me when she needed something. I cut that snake off real quick, I don't talk to her anymore, she can slither away and wrap around a tree and shed her skin there. lol

[@midnight15086]

Oh man that's literally half the people I know. :-( People think it's ok to let you make YOUR plans around THEM but then if they happen to feel tired at the time or somebody more important comes along they cancel everything and expect you to understand, it's so rude.

[@therage909]

i agree with both of you 100% i used to know a bitch that did that except the drinking park

[@therage909]

*part

[@TheRetroWoman80]

I'm glad you guys are awake. I just woke up too, for the last time. And I'm never going back to sleep again with these types of characters always lurking around. I just can't take this shit one more time.

[@Shay4YourMind81]

MorrocanZween Seriously... I absolutely cannot stand a fake person who only comes and goes as they please, whenever they need something. Otherwise, you never hear a peep from them. You're either with me or not. There is no "in-between."

[@sia8265]

its just therapeutic listening to Derrick. Speaking straight factsssss

[@MsCreatingoneself]

this is so true!!!! then they try to flip it like you did something wrong...RED FLAG!! I am done...nothing to talk about.

[@Shay4YourMind81]

I have no problem cutting people off, when they are fake and shady. I had a friend who would take DAYS to respond to texts, but whenever I saw her in person, she always had her phone glued to her hand... texting. She would also flake out on plans at the last minute... SMH... I don't give explanations for when I decide to cut folks off... I just go dark on them. Then some of them try to crawl back, trying to get back into your good graces. Nope. They know EXACTLY what they did, and they know they don't want to be bothered with me. I'd rather they keep it 100, and not deal with me at all, rather than pretend to want to be my friend, and then cancel plans/ignore texts. Ain't nobody got time for that.

[@mrs.camillewarrenempress3115]

This is what I did to her

[@msxo365]

Had a friend that was exactly like this. Just recently cut her ass off!

[@SunShyne-of3xj]

Nope, because if I cut you off, I've already addressed my concerns, so no need for me to provide an explanation.

[@KC-bf8ye]

Ha! Good explanation right here. I'll address my concerns on my own for myself, which is what I just did. If it's important to him, he can find me and ask, but my guess it is not, which is why I am addressing my own concerns in the first place.

[@plushbarbie2389]

Agreed. The last time I tried to give an explanation when cutting someone off, they said “all u had to say was u don’t want to talk anymore” LESSON LEARNED. Ain’t no more explanations once they violate because they already know what’s up

[@idwtbam]

So many women haven't figured out that dude's don't give a damn about "closure" like these women.

[@tiffanyfrazier8430]

when someone shows u who they are....... Believe it!!!!!! keep the truth com'n bro Derrick.😊

[@TheHomosexualSerpente]

I will say...I am a MUCH different person in my 30s than I was in my early 20s. A big part of that change--which I think of as an improvement--was looking back on the stupid/awful shit I did when I was young and realizing I needed to do better and be better. There were people way back when who cut me off, and even though it SHOULD have been obvious, I honestly didn't see it at the time. I had next to no guidance as a child, I really had to figure it all out on my own. Consequences were something it took me a very long time to truly get. My emotional and personal progress was not the responsibility of the people I wronged. But without some guidance, I wouldn't have learned the things that I ultimately did. So I am grateful for those who did give me a "parting thesis"....even when I couldn't hear it at the time, later I was able to internalize it and figure out how to learn from those experiences. Without an explanation of how my choices and actions were effecting those people, I may never have become the person I am today. I would *love* to be able to say I figured it all out on my lonesome--but even assholes need other people sometimes. Signed, A Mostly Reformed Asshole

[@beautifulsoul1239]

This video is absolutely on point. I normally don't just cut a person off after a questionable character flaw directed towards me nor do I ignore the issue. I will have a heart to heart mature conversation with the person of course only after the initial shock of emotions are gone. My goal in the conversation is to listen for two significant words from the offender, " I apologize," if I get anything less than that I'm done. A lack of apology means that the offender isn't conscious of his wrongdoings or worst he's refusing to acknowledge his wrong. Either way he will be an repeat offender. Guard your heart and peace.

[@jellyjell17]

Yasss 🙌🏾

[@epiphany7189]

I absolutely agree 👍. If there's no fixing it, there's no talking.

[@laraunl]

Exactly! Sometimes, explanations are not warranted.

[@MsFree2u]

Yesssss speak the truth. I can't do snakes and I'm not explaining nothing. If I'm done with a person I'm done with them forever. For me it only takes one time.

[@KC-bf8ye]

I am now well over 40 and am on the "one time" rule as well because it doesn't get much better from there.

[@sm16875]

I belive you should communicate. It gives that person closure and it's the right thing to do. You will get bad karma if you don't because the pain that person felt from no closure will eventually find its way back to you. It's the mature thing to do.

[@TheKapias]

True👍 dated or saw a widower whose late wife passed 5years ago! He wouldn’t be affectionate or walk with me? Always walked in front of me or behind me! After 15mos of this I left! Changed my phone number and when he approached me at gym, I just waved and kept walking!❤️if he wants to talk he knows where I live!DONE, IM TOLD I ghosted him!...oh well! Enjoy listening to your advice!

[@raynieceholding3998]

There is no explanation needed. Simple. If you are cutting someone off chances are the situation is too far gone to make it right. Therefore I don't owe you anything. They are probably already aware of why.. but if not and they do ask why, I would gladly explain before i make my exit.

[@NewPurpleRobyn]

I used to have a friend like that. ALWAYS finding flaws in me but ignored all her own. I tried to confront on putting my business on Facebook and she couldn't even have the compassion to even discuss it. Yet alone take responsibility. After pleading and begging for her to take responsibility and don't half-ass not shit when it comes to the sincerity in our friendship. I chucked them deuces and ain't looked back since. ✌🏾️✌🏾 IT AINT NOTHIN TO CUT THESE SNAKES OFF😂

[@cupcakage521]

I determine whether or not a person is capable of changing their behavior out of respect or not. If not, then I dip without a word said--especially if I know it will lead to a pointless-assed argument meant to invalidate my feelings.

[@Nekole1]

Im the same way. I cut people off. Ignore them and move on with my life especially if im just meeting the guy. I find that explaining the reason why to a guy only leaves him begging me and pressuring me to change my mind. Or him cursing him out and calling me "stuckup" and boughie. I just dont want the negativity in my life. and id rather not deal with the headache

[@samantha4887]

Depends on the situation like you said..I will talk to see if we can fix it. But if you do it again..Then I'm out. I think making announcements about it, is dumb - to me when you do that, it means that you really aren't done dealing with that person and you want some kind of reaction so they can convince you not to stop being their friend or whatever the nature your relationship is. Life is short, and time is precious, I don't want to waste any of it on anyone that I don't gel well with.

[@roechelrobinson5287]

I dont do explanations either we are both adults and i dont have time to explain myself to people like their 5 years old and cant decipher right from wrong... So chances are people that get cut off they already know they did wrong

[@kgrace9360]

Omg! U r absolutely hilarious, yet sooo right on point! Too many people be on some fuck shit & fb really gives u a bird's eye view of their fuckery!!

[@alenasiouxlee9794]

THIS IS THE REALEST VIDEO EVER! MANNNN! I needed to hear this. I just cut someone off recently that's a FULL decade older than me because of all the things that Derrick stated. Let's be clear snakes come in all different shapes, colors and ages!!! don't be fooled cause he got a lil gray in his beard

[@dnw75]

You are so right about that. A young clown grows into a older clown if their shitty behavior never changes.

[@originalmix2546]

alenasioux lee the older the more know- how on how to be a real snake..watch out from "gray"ones, indeed.

[@notfound7673]

"If there's no fixing it, there's NO talking.. " I'll be walking

[@chantasherriff5891]

Explanations are given when you're trying to resolve something. When you feel there's a glimmer of hope still there. I've disappeared like Casper the ghost plenty of times after explaining myself once, maybe twice, and never at all in my youth. As an adult, act your age, not your shoe size. Thanks for being so informative Mr. Jaxn. Some topics you've touched on are so on point and some men out here will really have you thinking that you're crazy, insecure or nagging. You're so refreshing to listen to, that it restores the hope and increases the efforts of finding the "needle in a haystack" man that wants to do right by his lady. Continue with the wonderful words of wisdom #Realtalk

[@amandasligar9269]

This is a real man who knows how to treat a fellow human being.

[@k4obama]

I do not! I've already addressed it, now I'm just making moves.

[@Ashdaesq]

this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! I owe these people that are toxic and manipulative NOTHING after I've explained myself time after time and they refuse to change. I should lower my self-respect so that you can get the appropriate closure that YOU feel is due... wth?? GTHOH! you on this same plane of respect that I'm on...if you don't mutually respect me...then you're lucky all i'm giving you is my back..because i could be trying to sabotage your life even more if I was that petty.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

This!!!!👊

[@TheRetroWoman80]

@Christina Bullock Yes indeed Christina. This is not a toddler matter. It's real adult no-nonsense talk.

[@Bianca.Nceeee]

I recently did this to someone I knew for 3 years after getting tired of being a puppet . I suddenly don't feel guilty anymore lol. The problem with me is I have a heart the size of The Great grand canyon, and some "snakes" definitely love to take full advantage of that. But even Mrs Goods two shoes reaches boiling point. PS. Your opinions make so much scene keep up the good work ;)

[@nekiajones123]

agreed, if do not explain nothing as adults we are accountable for our Actions. when I'm done I'm Done

[@k4obama]

Exactly!

[@mspayne32]

I definitely fade to black on a ninja if I'm not feeling them. If I don't know you well I don't feel like I owe an explanation as to why I'm not messing with you anymore. Because chances are they did something I'm not fond of and I don't feel compelled to explain their fuck boy behavior to them only for them to give me some lame ass excuses as to why they did what they did.

[@lakeshabadger7854]

We too old to keep telling people what they doing wrong, THEY ALREADY KNOW, NO EXPLANATIONS GIVEN ✌

[@Ms.Haleyy]

This goes to relationships & friendships. New and the not so new. You start acting funny and are consistent in that 🤷🏽‍♀️✌🏾

[@evnomiaiw2244]

Your blunt approach has much wisdom and knowledge

[@courtneycollis6911]

I can't tell you how much I needed to hear this. I tried multiple times to fix things with my family but I was always brushed aside because my feelings didn't matter.😢

[@LeighStClair]

Right! Omg, I swear you need to do a cross country tour. You always come with the real, raw and uncut. #Respect

[@jazzabelled21]

Nah! I get ghost! I'm done talking, we've had several conversations at this point and I'm done talking about it

[@daniellee1722]

Amen. Years ago I talked to my so-called friend about disrespectful jokes about my wife, how I don't play that. He said one again not long after. Third time I told myself one more and I'm breaking his jaw. I peace'd out before it came to that. He ain't worth it.

[@tallgiraffelady]

Catch the holy ghost! :)

[@HisaLight2mypath]

I love that. Get ghost. Lol

[@asiaparks7158]

Some People don't talk to strangers I don't talk to snakes I felt that 😅💯💪🏾🙌🏽💯💯💯💯💯

[@gregguralnik2512]

Derrick, sometimes its best to just cut off all contact completely with people like this.

[@queenlaguerre7668]

I agree. He was clear. If you've done it before and I've spoken to you about it and I have to keep talking; when I leave you should already know why.

[@keeshfontaine2523]

Officially done 😂😂😂 "I'll call you when I need you to show me how to wrap around tree branches."

[@amaya4870]

Why waste time explaining. ..let's keep it real if a person just ups and leaves 9 times out 10 you know why...you might not want to except it but you know

[@Nekole1]

amaya4870 Exactly.

[@Lizziesouth]

amaya4870 Thank you🙌🏾

[@YPM498]

Thank you!

[@sophisticatedmm3632]

precisely

[@daniellee1722]

@amaya4870 Straight up

[@JREANNE1]

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain why I'm cutting you off because you should already know & I do it not necessarily for my benefit but for theirs too because me personally, I'm passive aggressive so I just try to avoid situations where something could really blow up.

[@baybeetinax3]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 like u said I only give explanations to people that were genuine with me and I just for whatever reason lost interest or realized wasn’t for me. If it’s someone playing games with me you get blocked.

[@jasminamemic8300]

🤣🤣🤣 Derrick, I just love you!

[@nicolequick38]

I agree with the beginning and the middle when you don't care to fix it you let go period

[@hilo5901]

Right. Be a responsible human being. If you want someone in your life, prove it. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. Call when you say you are, not text. Then almost pick a fight! If you say you love someone then show it in a kind and consistent way.

[@SublimeLullaby]

I did try to explain myself and what I got was "Why you being so dramatic" ? So no more explaining from me.

[@ladyk2018]

No cause when I cut people off it's for a good reason

[@trinityinfinity1480]

love it!! "when I need somebody to teach me how to shed skin....." Thank you for the insights.

[@jf2930]

Omg! This came right on time. Cutting Boo Thang off and I was trying to figure out if I owe him an explanation. He won't be getting one

[@MM-zf2zl]

This is how I am now too. Usually if there's a big "blow out" end to a relationship/friendship I will let them know why I'm done, but sometimes I will also just fall back and not give an explanation or when they come ask what's up with us I'll give them the reason but not dig too deep into the details. Just recently a guy I was seeing was mad disrespectful to me and when he asked how he disrespected me all I could say was it wasn't worth my time explaining because he should've known what he did. Like plenty of other people said who has time to teach others how to treat you? I don't.

[@a.m.a.7265]

👌 No Fixing no talking. Exactly.

[@harlemantoinetterisingfrom4639]

When I’ve expressed myself over and over again. When I’ve said certain things would hurt me and break my heart. To continue on with The shenanigans....then act innocent. You can’t win trying to convince a narcissist. Apparently, a person has to be extremely toxic if I had to cut off in a extreme manner. I owe it to no one especially if it is evident. I can’t apologize and wait for a person to see why self respect and dignity is important to me. I won’t be sucked back into his trap not today or tomorrow. Some people are just that toxic they will be ok. Give it 5 days they will be lusting after another. I may be different why they can’t stay away but, I’m compromising my mental sanity.

[@dianawellington731]

Nope, because all that leads to is a defensive person who tries to explain their actions. Once that happens, I make sure to cut off all communication. You explain, they defend. Ain't nobody got time for that. I stop explaining years ago.

[@RealSkyBlue18]

Diana wellington I get it if it’s something that’s really foul or it’s been addressed before. If it’s something minor and you don’t have a history of past issues with the person then I think it’s mature to have a conversation. You may have taken something the wrong way and a conversation could provide clarity. Everyone isn’t a snake.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

On point Diana! Toleration levels for B.S. and indifference/disrespect get lower and lower the closer I get to 40.

[@heart-2-heart-talks-with-tj]

No explanations in my book! When I’m done I’m done! ✅ 💯

[@JORACASEY1921]

I agree with you. I do give reasons but it’s because I’m too nice. It’s probably why I get treated the way I do.

[@brittanyr1456]

Misty Zaragoza I don’t know Misty. Maybe you are just human and you empathize because you know how you would feel if someone did it to you? But I’m too nice also lol so don’t feel too bad. Just work on it.

[@JORACASEY1921]

Brittany R let’s do that!!

[@brittanyr1456]

Misty Zaragoza Yes ma’am. Let’s do it.

[@josifine6879]

Love your videos. Funny, brief, straight to the point and the truth. Thanks for the uploads.

[@allenk77]

agreed. always keep your eyes open. no need to tell, just straight cold shoulder. from me nothing hurts people more.

[@Unapologetically_Shalana]

Agreed! Time can't be replaced so the minutes that it may have taken me to give an explanation, that person didn't deserve those minutes✌🏾️ I love how you always wear your seatbelt SAFETY FIRST

[@shineeghostee]

You got me rolling 😂😂😂😂 I'm the same way. If you earned my silence, that's all you can continue to expect from me. Everytime I cut somebody off its because in dealing with them I got cut. Probably multiple times. It's crazy that adult human beings like to continuously try you, transgress against you, disrespect you (synonyms lol) and then play the victim when those behaviours become the reasoning for you to protect yourself and gtfo. I've almost felt guilty for this "going ghost" before I quickly realized it's more like going "no contact" when dealing with a narcissist.

[@denisedavis3489]

When I confront people on how they have betrayed my confidence , that same scenario play's out just the way you you said it.

[@denisedavis3489]

I am with you 100% on that. That goes within my friends code too.

[@kaz9203]

I spent 9 years fighting for my relationship.... Begging and pleading just to be heard. Never happened so one day I just cut all types of contact cold turkey.

[@laureloriginal]

“I’ll hit you up when I need somebody to teach me how to shed skin”😭😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣👌🏽

[@mrtjones2374]

Real talk bro.💯

[@keishabethel1505]

Thank you Torrey Townsend for taking your time out and explain this to me. I was done on this topic until you clarify this to me. I truly had no idea that the words been use for that reason also. Wow! You are absolutely right. Respect is everything. I'm from Grenada, in the Caribbean. I now have been living in New York for about 16 years. I was raised differently. I'm so out of touch on what's the new words these days. lol. Thanks for explaining. Have a bless day.

[@rue6249]

I felt this in my soul. So incredibly accurate. ☺

[@fefelove8465]

This vid is the shit truth...but funny as hell. Watching it over and over. Ok im finish commenting !!😂😂😂😂

[@Essdee503]

so true...if in a relationship i'll inform them as to why they are about to get cut off but friend wise especially if you're in the wrong I vanish with the quickness...and that's when they want to hit u up like did i do something wrong like they don't already know they did...so i play stupid right along with them and be like no and disappear...but honestly if u have to ask that 9 out of 10 times you already know u in the wrong

[@LaTashaChante]

😂😂😂 on point. I don't mind busting these out ✂️ !

[@pockahantiss]

I've said this time and time again:"if I cut you off, YOU supplied the ✂️'s!✌🏾️

[@TheDupsie]

1:34 is epic 😂😂😂 I will hit you up when I need you to teach me how to shed skin or slider around the grass or wrap around tree branches like a snake because that’s what you’re. 👍👍👍 your vds are always on point. Tap like if you agree

[@Edgaros]

You have some solid points, but you tend to over-simplify things. There are many people blind-siding their friends and partners about their thoughts and frustrations and eventually ghosting them, without even giving them the chance to do something about it. Each situation is different. The adult thing is to speak, unless someone does something that is a clear sabotage of your relationship, whatever this relationship may be...

[@chaneywaddle285]

Sometimes I only give an explanation just to engrave a lesson in their mind forever that you can’t play or hurt a real woman when clearly you know what you got into and you know it’s wrong and it’s only wasting time better spent on a real long term love that she already knows she deserves

[@NopemoreNope]

😂😂😂 "like I owe you 5 dollars" but done and when done. I don't have time nor the patience for arguing back and forth. nah I'm good I wish you the best and have a great one.

[@TaylC864]

Very informative. Your videos hit every point. Thanks for breaking the G Code a bit King

[@catherinebailey3397]

Omggg, you are my spirt animal for real lol....I cut people off so hard they forget if they even existed 😞 #sorrynotsorry #ineededtocutit lol thanks for your insight!! 😊😄😉

[@tiadabest23]

I got mixed emotions about this one lol but I definitely understand the point he's coming from.

[@sharont5458]

Geeez! You nail just what I need to hear every dang time!

[@sherimillner4347]

No explanation needed.😇💖 keep speaking truth.👍🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽😉💖

[@riemadia3893]

dude you are so funny lol. You are right, I don't deal with snakes either I cut them off, no explanations required. People act like snakes and want to run around and blame you for cutting them off.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

OOOH he gets right to the point. I needed this video and the energy of "straight up, no chaser" he brought with it.