Narcissists and the Silent Treatment

[@behind-blue-eyes3248]

Narcissists give you the silent treatment when *THEY* have hurt you and *YOU* refuse to apologize.

[@paulclinton6414]

Pathetic trash

[@four-x-trading5606]

Yeah Isn’t that shit crazy they hurt you and expect you to apologize like really I need to apologize for you? What? 🤨

[@daisygallardo4645]

Yes! Absolutely insane! Done with this shit! My sibling will literally kick me out of his house while newly disabled (rushing me out!) for not following his specific holiday plans, discard me, cuss at me, then expects me to apologize. Wtf!?

[@raeniquediaz4621]

YES

[@JusCallMeC]

Or when you lay boundaries.

[@urhetartj5222]

Being with a person who is unable to communicate is hell.

[@goesfarfliesnear1447]

Don't you mean UNWILLING to communicate? That is the hallmark of a narcissist.

[@lainiebain2478]

Since when a narcissist gives the silent treatment ?

[@londonoxfordstreet]

🌹✨Hadith : speak a good word or remain silent ―Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

[@jamesongogoleczko5932]

@@goesfarfliesnear1447 the problem is that this is a feature of many disorders and maladaptive coping mechanisms, and there's various reasons for it. For example people with ADHD can have sensory overload and their coping can look like the silent treatment of stonewalling when it's not intended to be.

[@ivywang416]

silence is a answer (they don't care)

[@wendybarker5118]

There’s a story. A husband was giving his wife the silent treatment. He wrote her a note and put it on her night stand, on her side of the bed. The note said wake me up at 5 a.m. The next morning, the husband woke at 9 a.m. His wife was not in the house. He saw a note on his night stand by his side of the bed. The note said, it’s 5 a.m. wake up.

[@ibkay3572]

Good one 😃😃😃

[@balwantkaur7766]

He gave me silent treatment for 52 years I feel so peacefull Now at 77 I m living my life it is my turn to b silent n pretend he does not exist He sits all day brooding like a 10 yr old angry child I just ignoreThanks againDr Romani listening to u is like oiling my wounds🙏🙏❤️❤️

[@sheffieldamanda]

Love this!!

[@zhoxzalabrique5749]

Positively HILARIOUS!! 💓🌹Z

[@TitianTexan]

LOL, LOVE it!

[@guinevere208]

Love the silent treatment from a narcissist. Sometimes the trash takes itself out.

[@michaelthompson-li7zs]

love that sentiment

[@MrVocalist567]

Damn well said bro

[@brebop99]

as my partner has been giving me the silent treatment and there’s an actual mountain of trash in our kitchen

[@kenishahammond3935]

Well said!

[@m998hmmwv7]

Exactly 😎👍🏻

[@user-eu8hj2ek7f]

They give you the silent treatment when they are at fault or hurt you but don't want to apologize.

[@craig3714]

KMF sounds like my hypocritical neighbors and their bratty kids .

[@katrina3560]

Yes, currently the silence is golden🥴 I now find myself grateful to "see" what's happening, so I can (most times) enjoy the silence rather than chase the chaos.

[@user-eu8hj2ek7f]

@@katrina3560 same here.

[@craig3714]

@@katrina3560 For sure silence is golden .

[@katrina3560]

@@craig3714 Relieving when I finally accepted it as such 🌟

[@dorothy1]

Silent treatment from a narcissist is a relief. A gift.

[@demiaarmendibya7680]

When I was able to recognize it. It was a true true true blessing. Getting used early to not having them around. Or dead.

[@M4rjolein]

Mine only used it when it was very hurtful for me. I’d finally get a story in, which should have been my first clue, and suddenly realize I was being ignored and it got turned into something humiliating for me.

[@nakishasd6997]

Amen

[@sharonadams1060]

Silent treatment is good

[@victoriahaas9364]

totally. you find calm and can rebuild a happy life.

[@drlarrymitchell]

They think that the silent treatment is a punishment, but it's a welcome relief, and shows how easy life without them will be.

[@maddievictoria4947]

Ya I treat it like a much needed break as well.

[@anneg8]

SO TRUE

[@jakeserdynski4338]

Id like to give them a treatment but it won't be silent lol jk

[@goodra999]

day 3 of the silent treatment i feel so great no abuse

[@bettyjones5375]

Yes!. I'm 6 days into the silent treatment. I have felt happier in all honesty. It has also made me realise that life is fine without them

[@kristenmoonrise]

Once I realized that the narcissist enjoys my discomfort and I then realized there was nothing of value they provided to my life, it was easy to see the silent treatment as a blessing.

[@shivanayak5939]

😂 exactly sis......

[@jessmarie8040]

Yes!!!

[@gulchekhrakhalilova3518]

I’m having silent for 3 weeks now just because of my sis want buy house next to ours. Our girls can’t understand this weird father. Sad I’m not sure from here what to do.

[@harleygirlwithdogs]

When he disappears with the silent treatment, I feel like I can breathe again. I'm not walking on eggshells and find peace in not waiting for the next big drama to go down. The mistake I kept making was to coax him back or let him manipulate himself back. Getting through the loneliness we feel during the silent treatment is the tough part, but really in all reality aren't we lonelier with them???

[@kristenmoonrise]

@@harleygirlwithdogs 💯

[@1984musicman]

They need to teach this in schools. The amount of damage emotional abuse causes is just so far-reaching. Love to anyone going through this. You're not alone.

[@eboli7146]

I agree with you 100% !! Emotional intelligence and how to be a healthy mature adult (and what the opposite looks like) should be taught in school!

[@lisewinne4423]

I agree that all abuse topics should be taught in schools. From my own survey, about half of survivors of family violence and scapegoating would have preferred to be put in foster care.

[@joseenoel8093]

They really should.... Administration might not like it, they'll get called out too often.

[@NS-uq9st]

So true.... Degree is such a waste. I don't remember anything using in my life what I learnt in school after being a teenager.

[@KingRandor82]

How? The curriculum is entirely designed to promote it.

[@Erik7prc]

If they go silent then you go silent.........forever! Don't ever give them a 2nd chance.

[@ericking4072]

EXACTLY!15 YEARS OF LIES,CHEATING,BS&DECEIT!

[@joseenoel8093]

I often hear people complain their partner is giving them verbal crap, I'll often throw in be grateful they're talking to you!

[@lindavulfs1474]

Sometimes loose ends like property settlement or return / access to goods requires communication but once done then who cares if they even exist anymore.

[@thinkforyourselfjohn3163]

👍👍👍

[@thinkforyourselfjohn3163]

@@ericking4072 So sorry😔 That's how these minion's are. I think there spawn from hell. Lol

[@ankitk1455]

Dr Ramani should be nominated for Nobel peace prize for allowing so many people to spot narcissists and live a happy life

[@SJD207]

100% agree Dr Ramani is fabulous! 🥇👍

[@l.k.1111]

💯💯I concur, she deserves it💯💯

[@mickadatwist1620]

spot a narcissist? shall we suggest a TV show like catfish? we all are layman, can only be trainspotters

[@TheArtisanTarotTBMoon]

I agree!

[@maureenluseka2412]

True​

[@JohnetteBasden]

I pray for everyone tolerating this nonsense. Please get help n stop giving these sick people so much power over your life! You deserve respect, peace, love and happiness all the time!

[@theonorthcraft4558]

The silent treatment is abuse and evil. It’s torture.

[@joseenoel8093]

Right up their alley 🎳 and we're their pins!

[@pam164]

Its horrible and makes you feel crap and so alone.

[@JusCallMeC]

I say, learn to enjoy the silence. It makes it more peaceful for you and torturous for them. Because then, they see that you don't care and are even enjoying it.

[@Minbes1]

Paychological torture. My partner does this although he’s not a narcissist.. I don’t think he comprehends just how horrific it is for me and I just don’t know how to change it.

[@dominicconsiglio2420]

You're just sensitive probably also. Torture is a strong word.

[@jeanettemaya9753]

They use the silent treatment as a way to punish you for calling them out on their bad behavior. They hope by giving you the silent treatment you will stop trying to hold them accountable or make you feel like you are somehow at fault. It is truly cruel

[@nikyrasymone1109]

THIS. The accuracy.

[@gamediva2112]

Yes. I refused to participate in my brother's addiction, and tried to get him into rehab (he eventually ended up in prison and I petitioned the court to add drug rehab to the terms of his parole), tried to help his enablers to break away from the financial drain he was requiring of them, essentially trying to help HIM by not enabling him and 18 years later he is alive and still not speaking to me, even if we are in the same room feet apart. It's ridiculous.

[@Serenity-jm2pv]

Wow 🔔

[@girliechua410]

Bulls eye! Everything is yr fault. Mine is faultless. Rude, mean, twist their words..you name it, it's all there. In the beginning I thought it's my fault. Not now, after listening to all this.

[@ao2864]

Yes, 100% true. It's hell on earth!!

[@KellyKristin]

I just want everyone to know that is reading this, that you can heal, you can move on, you don't deserve this kind of treatment from anyone. There is a better and more loving life waiting for you to be ready to receive it.

[@myadior787]

Thanks so much......All the best with you.

[@alethiamillner5603]

Got that right! I'm 4 years nc and found me wonderful husband. The point is you got to close that chapter before you get to the happily ever after!

[@donkykong1823]

Bingo

[@miaj366]

Sad thing is , it’s hard to move on when it’s a parent..

[@clairobics]

thankyou, you too x

[@pazeldog5522]

Narcissist hate the silent treatment too, when they see you accept the treatment and you go around being happy without making any contact to them, it just pisses them off even more because they expect you to make the effort to apologize or kiss their ass.

[@pvanukoff]

Exactly. My ex pulled this crap all time.

[@emlinc229]

Yup 😂 they do expect that. Jokes on them. Give them their own medicine.

[@MamaCat29]

I made the mistake of falling for that when I was younger, and when I made the contact, I found myself being painted as an aggressor. So, when someone I thought was a friend pulled that poop on me recently, I cut this person out of my life.

[@gowrinarayan6004]

😂😂😂😅😅😅😅

[@Erik7prc]

Stay strong everybody and move on

[@tamekal795]

Absolutely

[@MARSBELLA1]

You CANT always move on - there are no jobs - no affordable rent, you re so messed up in the head no normal person would want you...

[@NC-fu6io]

What if it's your adult child? :(

[@mercythewarrior4164]

Not easy

[@sweetluvgurl]

ErikisOfficial!! You can’t always move on. Only in an ideal world. Narcissistic stuff is all throughout the world everywhere. Unfortunately, there is no way to completely bypass it. Many have it in their families, in the work place, in everyday life, in politics, etc. You have to try to navigate it the best possible way, even when it seems impossible. That’s what these videos are for, honestly.

[@sherlitawilson765]

Yesterday made 1 month of the silent treatment. It’s never gone this long because usually I’d apologize…but honey he can have it this time. I’m sick of it, sick of him, sick of life around him. His whole family is toxic and weird. He has taught me throughout this entire relationship how to live alone…I’ve started planning my exit.

[@NTY12]

THIS!

[@soapfan2700]

I really hope you’ve managed to exit.

[@KUqdah]

Good for you!

[@carinekeza6754]

6 months now and I’m proud of myself. I took his pride away. Put my make go for gym show him I have another life kids need me healthy

[@donnaroosa4469]

I am sick of the whole thing ... My husband checks all the boxes of Narcissistic person. I watched only 5 of her video s and i know i am not imagining any of this anymore. I hope you are ok? I am not looking forward to trying to get out of this he is going to spazz and rage.. Got any advise.. 🙏🙃

[@smc2673]

In my 20s, the silent treatment drove me insane. In my 40s, I now realize it's a wonderful mini-vacation. Ahhh. Put your feet up, pass the drinks and enjoy the silence.

[@crystalcorrea762]

In my 30s and I feel this. 💕😂 BLISS!

[@foxybrown9396]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lindajakub624]

Me too.

[@brandynicjones]

Love your username ❤️ Touché 🙏

[@FeliciaLoprete]

Doesn't mean it's over though. They are just trying to get their way. Fuming on the inside about what their next manipulative move shall be sometimes. No true peace till you end it.

[@missteendlovu659]

Silent treatment empowered me to leave my ex. We had had the mother of arguments, so he decided he wasn't going to talk to me for a week. Since we were not living together, we used to talk over the phone every day. So, on this particular week, he decided not to call, no texts, nothing! Well, what happened was that week I felt so much peace, I didn't miss him, I didn't think about him and i knew it was time So, I sent him a text telling him that I was enjoying the silence and wanted us to continue that way. Gal! He was mad! I never looked back.

[@katherineh9814]

👏🏻💪🏻🙌🏻

[@LundonHussey-20_20X]

Iktr lol

[@LowEffortRecipes470]

I’ve noticed that a lot of narcissists lack conflict resolution skills . Perhaps it’s due to their inability to take responsibility for their actions .

[@Desmondbrown73]

Yes they are really good at running away and locking themselves in a bathroom, to avoid any kind of resolution or change

[@JessieR2023]

This are the worst type in my opinion.

[@Naan795]

There is other related topic and is Intimacy Anorexia and the Co-dependent can also have this

[@notanotherone5564]

I naturally give the silent treatment after someone attacks or verbally abuses me. My reason is, I don’t want to say anything when I’m upset or angry and accidentally hurt someone… I need time to think, time to process. I can’t just chit chat again like nothing happened. I need a moment before I can articulate my thoughts & feelings. So I’ll tell my partner that I can’t speak for awhile. With that said, I’ve never gone silent simply because I didn’t “get my way”. Or because they didn’t do what I wanted. So Im hoping my way of healing and dealing with conflict isn’t narcissistic. I’m actually really surprised that “silent treatment” impacts people this way. Makes we wonder how I can meet communication in the middle so I have time to think… but the other person doesn’t feel abandoned. I’ve got some major work to do smh

[@andrewcamp8769]

@@notanotherone5564 What your doing is how to actually healthily process something off hand that just took place. That’s way different then just being a narcissist and giving the silent treat because something didn’t go your way. Keep up that good work!

[@MzBrOdUs18]

This is one of the main signs of a narcissist. I always say if you want to know who a person really is, tell them no..or refuse to give them something they want and see how they react.

[@ladybird491]

I can never tell him no when he has told me no for the same things repeatedly. He got upset that decided to use the word no as well, especially no I will not sit around and wait until you decide to date me, and now we are broken up, and I am not upset about it either.

[@Tara-id3rk]

That’s a good one. Because it IS very telling

[@tonylai6702]

I wished I had learnt more about narcissism earlier, because now thinking back, my last date showed a lot of red flags of a narcissist and I just dismissed her as being immature. Being immature is one thing, it can be changed if you explain to them. But being immature because she's a narcissist is different, she simply can't change, both cognitively and neurologically. It's such a pity :((

[@MzBrOdUs18]

@@tonylai6702 I agree but I’ve discovered narcissism and immaturity usually go hand in hand.

[@A.C.71]

@@MzBrOdUs18 The irony is they think they are geniuses. Found this out the hard way.

[@myadior787]

For all empaths out there,let silent treatment be a blessing and gift to you.......Its a chance to ESCAPE FROM THESE DEMONS! That treatment is not legal or acceptable.

[@waitwhat564]

Amen!

[@a.muchemi4360]

Thanks ....

[@waitwhat564]

@@bogdanlazar3278 beautifully said 👍

[@janelleanderson6744]

Hey Mya. I so agree that silent treatment it can be a gift, allowing one to distance themself from a narcissist. But, I have to say--silent treatment is not illigal.

[@teresacabrera8694]

I am an empath and you just validated my reasons for my silent treatment behavior. When an energy vampire is constantly sucking the life out of me, becoming silent is one way of blocking their bad mojo. That does not make one a narcissist, does it?

[@melodietaulman4774]

They go MIA for hours to days with no communication and come back around like nothing happened.

[@Blackhearts92]

Yesss

[@MrVocalist567]

Like wtf I thought we weren't talking !?

[@sabazaidi9022]

Usually they wait for the other person to apologize, they won't initiate the talking

[@VerrBorneo]

It's true..wtf

[@karim-a7469]

My husband comes into the room and says hi to the kids one at a time... and ignores me completely. I’m moving out July 1st thank God.

[@joseenoel8093]

What a jerk! Hope you have a nice merry on your way! Good luck July 1st is right around the corner!

[@norinovak9778]

Good luck! 🍀🍀🍀Keep listen to her videos it will help tremendously to heal ! Also later on you will spot a narcissistic person from a miles away!

[@lzcrazyzl6443]

Go girl,you will be so much better off i promise.

[@cherryb3240]

Good luck! Glad you got the courage to move on ❤

[@bronwyntanner4501]

Yay for moving out on 1 July. Huge hugs.

[@jessitabonita]

What’s WORSE is when the narc accuses you of silent treatment when it’s just that you’re an introvert exhausted with their games of chaos. 😞

[@SandySaysRead]

This. This resonates because the moron I was living with for a while used to accuse me of acting like a child giving him the silent treatment, when, in fact, I was merely refusing to answer stupid questions or engage in stupid arguments. It took a restraining order to get rid of that freak, but that was the most wonderful and freeing thing ever!

[@soundsoftranquility226]

I choose peace sometimes

[@BellaGal1102]

I wonder... i have found myself not talking i suppose doing the silent treatment just to avoid arguing or saying something that could could make the situation worse... i do it to try and not engage

[@daniellejennings9016]

@@BellaGal1102 same. That's why I looked up this video. I keep thinking that I must be the narcissist because I broke down and just couldn't talk to or engage with my mother in law the last time I saw her. She has refused to talk to me one on one for years, but I still feel terrible for how I acted. So ashamed of my behavior, but I know I'm not the only problem in that relationship. Ugh.

[@arashyari2321]

Tnx for ur comment im like that too, and i always asked her can i have a hour or two to cool down icant do this right now and she accused me of being a narsesist.

[@vilmapoplar848]

The best is when you turn the silent treatment into no contact. It worked like a charm for me.

[@myadior787]

Yes hun......Its a gift.

[@solidcatink]

How so ? What changed for you? :)

[@lemonlemon7186]

Yup! That was my out. ✌🏽

[@jenbodhi1133]

That’s what I’ve done. I recently started dating with someone and he did silent treatment 3 times in 5 months. I left him Thankfully I did sooner than later

[@55karenina]

@Introverted Artistt so funny,..they want to manipulate us,but we can still win,and they might not even notice

[@dyronmcgee3299]

Month 7 of silent treatment, I am still standing strong

[@molokorapholo]

i'm on 4 years! Never been happier!

[@MarideMari82]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@dyronmcgee3299]

@@molokorapholo By golly 😂 I’m surprised you are still keeping track 😂 Good job

[@mes1220]

@@molokorapholo You,re so extremely lucky Your hair is so beautiful+really suits you

[@RR-et6zp]

read the unplugged alpha by richard cooper

[@danidanibobanny6011]

Going on week 2 of the silent treatment…I thank God for the silence and the distance. It’s like I’m being taught to live without him which is going to happen VERY soon!!

[@taraarrington2285]

Yes. Every time I've gotten away from the narcs in my life I thrive. They always try to suck me back in to keep me down.

[@traceyvanpatten9604]

@@taraarrington2285 I am going through the same,would love us two being supported systems for each other,,, no one understand in my life what I am going through

[@sia1832]

Yessss !!!!!!!

[@gigiiirenee1996]

This is week 3 for me! He works away 2 weeks at a time and it happened just before he left for work. Now he is back, he completely ignores me, goes out at night and refuses to communicate. I decided to remove myself from the situation and stay elsewhere for my own peace/sanity.

[@taraarrington2285]

@@gigiiirenee1996 that's a good idea. Sorry to say it but he probably has new supply lined up but will want you back when you are strong and move on. It seems to be a repeating pattern in my life. God bless

[@dhanyaslifeventure]

Silent treatment when you question their behavior, when you accuse them of wrong doing,when you catch them red handed,when you hurt their fragile ego,when you dishonor their selfish feelings,when you take off their mask,when you ask them to own up,when you expect them to do right and ethical task,when you prove they are cheap.Its still not a full list.

[@joseenoel8093]

Dishonor their selfish egos..... Good one!

[@lovelylinda8891]

❣️💖💯 Spot on!!! This MANCHILD tried to bother me with this silent tantrum when I did all that you mentioned. He especially hated being called out on his behavior. I saw his silent treatment for what it was... A tantrum! It flipped on him, because I kind of did it right back and was unbothered by his childish antic. Lol. He sent his weak-ass, pathetic, flying 🐒 enabler fiance to tell me that that's what he was doing so that I would notice. Lol Dumbass 😂🌺

[@lovelylinda8891]

His silent treatment was exactly what I wanted. He did something so cruel to me all because I set a boundary, this hurt me and I was upset and refused to speak to him. He called himself responding with his own silent treatment of me. He was just mirroring me and trying to make me feel guilty.

[@dhanyaslifeventure]

@@joseenoel8093 yeah

[@aungar2403]

I went through this for over fifty years of a terribly unhappy marriage. I'm still not over the hurt and anger from all of the emotional abuse that I endured. Looking back, when we were teenagers, he used to control his family by using the silent treatment. He was such a dark soul. I think that I have PTSD, but I can't find a good therapist. I am fed up with telling my story over and over.

[@Real-ez2lg]

When they giving u the silent treatment they usually use that time to talk to they new supply

[@BeachBum44]

totally, My adult daughter has a new love interest, so i'm getting the complete silent treatment

[@missl1793]

Absolutely trueeeee

[@reneea1150]

Facts!!!!

[@c.m5924]

This is true. My mother was busy crafting her victim persona on my sister and triangulating us.

[@carla4282]

Facts

[@traditionalgirl3943]

The silent treatment provides the narc with the perfect cover for avoiding engaging with you when he/she wants to go do something else.

[@suzgzlz]

Silent treatment is also a good opportunity for you to do whatever YOU want without having to explain, justify, or ask for permission 😉

[@desireegutierrez8855]

Couldn't agree more.

[@MrThaboShai]

Story of my life. She did that all the times

[@nellsmith9721]

Yea like going to raves & getting drugged up with a slapper ( sorry lonely friend )😂😂👍🏼👍🏼& telling me he never went at all !!! …. Trouble is he was seen all fucked up & all over his new friend …. Rave on I say 😎😎

[@melbwil]

100%

[@HaleyMary]

Narcissists are the most immature individuals I've ever come across. I remember trying a few times to try to talk to a narcissist and reason with them, but once I learned what they were, I realized there was no point in attempting to try to communicate with them like an adult.

[@terrikelly2762]

Yep...

[@kristinachristian3914]

It's true. Their emotional iq is soooo low..

[@mollymaina4973]

They are creatures we can't understand at all

[@AmandaLyonsMusic23]

Soooo true. “You can’t reason with crazy.”

[@Ghost960RedBull]

So true

[@janettemartin4604]

They have NOTHING to say to YOU! Unless they have a “command”! Unless they command or manipulate they have NOTHING to say to YOU!

[@joseenoel8093]

They're so/too self absorbed, it's nothing personal!

[@janettemartin4604]

@@joseenoel8093 I agree, you/I/anyone, didn't do anything to deserve it. BUT on the other hand it is directed at YOU if you are feeling it. Ya know? If you are in the vicinity of the empty vacuous VOID chamber, it SUCKS!

[@donkykong1823]

They are nothing. Prove it and get rid of them. They are as worthless as they try to make you feel.

[@chandrama814]

Very true. Simply nothing, they can tell to a woman except instructions or command or insult.

[@princessleo9798]

This triggered me... thanks 😊

[@lisagrimes4801]

The silent treatment hurts especially when you’re the one being singled out. You walk into a room where the narcissist is, and he/she talks to everyone but you. You begin to question what is wrong with you, why are they friendly with everyone else and ignoring you?

[@EMVelez]

They are pathetic little children who can’t take responsibility or behave in an emotionally mature way. If they are ignoring you, they either envy you or hate you for calling them out on something.

[@basilpalichev6732]

Can confirm, have NPD stepdaughter who is our only child and I am singled out.

[@JohnDoe-oy7sz]

Or maybe they don't like you?! Ive learned not to talk to everyone and keep it cordial and respectful and dont talk behind peoples back or gossip but sometimes well a lot of the times i wont know im gossiping im trying to still learn

[@lisagrimes4801]

@@JohnDoe-oy7sz No, they don’t like me and it’s not because of my personality, it’s because of my race.

[@JohnDoe-oy7sz]

@@lisagrimes4801 if it's because of your race I think they are racist ?

[@janieclement5545]

Don't deal with a person that is wiling to use the silent treatment instead of talking to you directly about the issues that they have with you.

[@dshae2293]

Exactly.

[@topherh5093]

BUT Why keep beating a dead horse. if they wont listen or dont care. Why keep saying the same things over and over.

[@hotfriedgriyoandpeeklees1522]

I took the silent treatment as freedom to keep the same energy and not ever say a single word to them. This silent treatment is fantastic. Whew thank goodness.

[@sherrydavis3309]

@Hot Fried Grigo and Peerless. Very fantastic 👏

[@ChronicNewb]

Yeah, it really changed things for me when I started to just silent treatment them back until I moved out,

[@theninth5691]

I fucking wish he'd give me this treatment. He talks hours on end. 🤦‍♀️

[@janetpattison8474]

@@theninth5691 great point! A couple of “my narcs” absolutely LOVE to lecture, the feeling of superiority has to be released, and it goes on & on & on, etc…. I’ve finally started “Nipping it in the bud”…

[@theninth5691]

@@janetpattison8474 how does one nip it in the bud. I just let him talk himself bored but that takes forever still.

[@daisydd1709]

they have the emotional maturity of a 12 years old

[@tprincess4302]

They are so ridiculous..I just laugh

[@beautyscolary1743]

Hahahaha

[@yonisteamwellnessspa1]

It sure seems that way

[@adaora1357]

12? You're being generous. More like 6.

[@LoveBeliefTruth]

One part of them is still a baby who didn’t get enough breast feeding and love as babies. That’s the narcissistic wound.

[@rasilapatel3624]

Silent treatment is hurts I lived with very bad Narcissist for 40 I don't know how I was hurt I am divorced after 42 years of marriage It was so hard to live with him he was controlling me verbally abused me I was a servant for him he treated me so bad. Now I have a peaceful life thank you Dr Ramani.

[@byefelicia7736]

There's no point in trying to force them to communicate. It just fuels them. They ENJOY watching you beg, suffer, go crazy.....

[@nliodo]

"Pretend you are on a silent retreat" -> best advice ever !! 😂 thx Dr Ramani !

[@jacobpitsenbarger4763]

The 91 "thumbs down" dislikes are from Narcissists who found this video while looking through their SOs browsing history.

[@alexandradumitru4281]

O swear this is what I thought when I saw this video has dislikes, but there 99 now! "We've got 99 problems, but a narc' ain't one!". :))

[@tequilajoe518]

Lol

[@victoriahaas9364]

hahaahhaha i thought the same thing!!!!

[@sweetandmagical]

Haha yes

[@aidentoons]

I'm an ally for people with NPD, I use my empath privilege for good kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKHIfnZ7rrZpb5o instagram.com/p/COlZzPajFED/ instagram.com/p/CMZW6a4FHZ5/

[@cyndyrella]

Reasons for narcissistic silent treatment: • Stonewalling • Gaslighting • Emotional immaturity • Lack of interpersonal skill • Victimhood • Dysregulation Reasons for a healthy-minded individual to give the silent treatment: • To establish a boundary after their boundaries have been continuously crossed. It's a last resort for someone who is emotionally capable and mature enough to communicate.

[@jacobmendez1282]

Thank you. Narcissism can be very confusing. Narcissists deserve the silent/cut off treatment themselves. Some of them might be watching this video, thinking they are the victims. But in reality, it’s the friend who is cutting them off with no explanation. Because you can’t explain nothing to a narcissist. As soon as you try telling them why, they will turn it around on you somehow. They never hold themselves accountable for anything. It is best to go ghost on a narcissist. You will also notice, they are the ones who are sad when you cut them off. But don’t ask themselves, “are they not sad talking to me?” They are pathetic. I know from experience.

[@user-rl3iv2jk9q]

You over-intellectualize about it all . Realize what they did to you and appropiately respond . Stop screwing around .

[@gingerisevil02]

Bingo. Wish I could afford to live alone because I’ve had plenty of roommates give me the silent treatment because they choose to assume anything I do that might offend them is on purpose… they won’t speak to me, then days later send a passive aggressive text 🙄🙄

[@hareem5560]

​@@jacobmendez1282exactly!

[@tillysanders2593]

You forgot - Punishment - Revenge - Emotional cruelty - Abuse

[@simshining5529]

Incapacity to communicate breaks you like hell. It feels like a one sided relationship and makes you feel unworthy and disrespecting.

[@kAna_13]

I feel it exact the same way

[@irenecanapero7937]

I can't immagine, how anyone can actually sleep in the same bed as such a monster!

[@alexianeves]

Is it crazy to say that I hate it but also if the opportunity arise and tried to win me over by saying their side I'd shut down and not say anything to them, I just know they don't care about my side. Instinctively I know she just wants me to be raddle so I shut down to show her that I don't want to waste my time. This person always feels the need for everyone to validate but when it comes to me I can't possibly be right and of course trying to prove it only makes me feel uncomfortable because it's not up for debate.

[@CloudyNebula]

And in fact, every time I was healing a bit from her nonsense, she used to randomly give me the silent treatment, sometimes for WEEKS. Like suddenly, out of the blue, stop responding to me altogether and then when I was just over it and sort of moving on, then coming back to engage contact like only 5 minutes have passed, and once things started to get into a regular daily routine again, then she would randomly go silent again. This went on and on and on for almost two years, and the emotional exhaustion I felt lasted me for quite a long time after I got her out of my life. This is all so frustrating and confusing.

[@cherylthompson2731]

@@CloudyNebula Narcissists do this for attention then disappear.

[@leonellie1]

I did get to the point where I longed for the silence

[@Hundredacredaycare]

lanell yes it’s almost better than the yelling and name calling

[@joseenoel8093]

Counting your blessings...

[@sinlobo84]

Yes! I found myself quite enjoying it (but not letting them know, of course) such a relief

[@KitstoKradlesNursery]

I wish I got the silent treatment so I could get a break!

[@cheriefrench6956]

If I didn't have to get life done I'd love this 3 month silence...but he has my cell phone, and spare car keys hidden. So silence is fine, but I need simple info.

[@brianvandermark4601]

"an adult tantrum", True. "so be the only adult in the room", Yes. I choose to be the adult when given the silent treatment by a Narcissist. I walk away, and take it as an opportunity to go "No Contact". I'm done with toxic people, period!

[@of8472]

Thank you. I needed to read this.

[@marthaernest2815]

Does it hurt them if you don’t contact them? My narcissist is used to me blowing up his phone and apologizing. This time I am not doing it

[@azzking9305]

My thoughts exactly

[@brianvandermark9408]

@@marthaernest2815 He will most likely move on to an easier target to manipulate and abuse. But don't try warning the next one about his narcissism--your words will just fall on deaf ears.

[@ecampbell5837]

That is a helpful perspective. Helps me reframe things and not get drawn into the game. Keep some power and dignity.

[@Critique633]

I think the best counter to this immature attitude is to adapt and play with the narcissist’s drama of silent treating them back but do it with grace and don’t let your inner peace be disturbed.

[@reboundingfromnarcissistic5386]

The silent treatment used to make me so mad. Now I find it funny. Healing must be taking place.

[@BeautyIn4C]

😂😂

[@lemonlemon7186]

When you actually look forward to the silent treatment ☺️

[@melissasequeiros1801]

Same, I am even laughing. Train yourself to not give in!

[@somethinggood9267]

Amen

[@reboundingfromnarcissistic5386]

@@somethinggood9267 checkout my channel !

[@webdoar]

The best response to the silent treatment IMHO is to ignore it. Go on with your daily routine even enjoy the respite.

[@prettydevoted]

Relationship is a two-way street. Both partners should feel comfortable enough to call the other without fear. When someone goes silent, it means they're in 'control'. I use the silent treatment period as a time to reflect on the bad behavior overtime, and decide at that point if this is what I'm willing to deal with for the rest of my life. If not, best to break up and move on.

[@margomazzeo1680]

@@prettydevoted I decided to leave him..for good..

[@cloudshadow954]

The silent treatment is only meant to punish. It resolves absolutely nothing. I no longer let it tear me up. I just move along and say, “Silence is golden.” The narc’s silence is better than hearing all the lies every time he opened his mouth.

[@lindaeasley5606]

My brother has treated me this way for several years .I used to get upset and very hurt . Now I'm just not invested in the relationship anymore to care about repairing it .I will never apologize to him and if he wants to ignore me I'm fine with never hearing from him again. I consider myself a bigger person than he is

[@cloudshadow954]

@@lindaeasley5606 I am sorry you’ve had to endure such cruelty. I am glad to hear you’re seeking your own peace. All we can do is grow from these experiences.

[@lindaeasley5606]

@@cloudshadow954 Thank you .Its good to recognize when someone close to you is engaging in cruel behavior so you can move on and put them behind you

[@Jackgritty28]

Fort Knox is golden,not silence,fool💥

[@Србомбоница86]

@@lindaeasley5606 my brother is a narcissist for decades now I am realizing ,my poor parents enabling them throughout his entire life , was truly horrible .My mom is dead now so he is narcissist towards his wife now the most ,I ignore him completelly for years now ,I know not to expect anything from him.He even gave my mother a three months long silent treatment while she was sick and dying of cancer ,what to except from a person like that.I am REPULSED by him,but his wife and daughter are nice people and I don't want to hurt them so I keep quiet ,get along with them but ignore him,I pity them but I genuinely can't stand my brother ,not because of me but how he treated our parents was horrific and they payed everything to him ,his studies ,his apartment ,just ugh ,feels me with anger when I think of it all.

[@FreeFromHer]

I received the silent treatment once i laid down a boundary. I later discovered the number one way to find out if someone has borderline or narcissist personality disorder is just tell the person no.

[@patricia-fz8et]

yes! I tell young people that saying no to a reasonable request will drive the personality disordered to tantrums...

[@Okay_Seante]

So true 🤔. I've noticed now that I started saying No, to the people who I thought would be mad at me , respect it. And still talk to me. But when I attempt to set a boundary with my convert narc ma, I get the silent treatment and guilt tripped .

[@dreface2704]

The silent treatment is a way to discipline you if they don’t get their own way and they love the chase if your trying to talk to them and get them to communicate but all that happens is you exhaust and you always end being the one to apologize. Don’t do it

[@gamediva2112]

And the crazy thing is....they won't tell you what you did to deserve it....they make you guess so that you end up over-analyzing everything that you have said or done to them for the last several years, so you really never know what it is that you are supposed to fix. Ain't nobody got time for that.

[@Marlenagarcia830]

@@gamediva2112 you’re absolutely right!!! My husband gets upset and then wont talk yo me for dayyyyyyyyys!!! Won’t explain why or what he is even mad at! He will leave and then blow up in a text message! Cant even tell me to my face! Oh and he threatens divorce every argument! I am absolutely exhausted! Need to get out

[@clarabartha1737]

great advice, the way you put it Dre.

[@Jen-ke3eh]

I had a guy give me the silent treatment bc he was moving too fast and I told hi I’d give him space, me not chasing he dumped me

[@Amanda-si1qz]

@@Marlenagarcia830 This has been a long standing problem in our marriage even before we were married, why didn’t I guess then? I suppose I was just so in love with him and had come from a home where my Mother displayed very similar tendencies. I presumed this behaviour was just kind of ‘normal’ aIso I was only 19 at the time. Married at twenty four. The first time it seriously happened I left but I was lured back after 3 months, stupid move on my part but I was still in crazy in love. The second major silent treatment lasted 8 weeks. Ignored totally, wouldn’t eat the food I’d cooked for us or would only cook for himself. Often out socialising bi weekly with his friends, as well as spending most of the weekends with family and God knows who else. To complicate the problem I’ve a series of autoimmune diseases, five in total, which with all the stress flare up hugely. A week later I unfortunately had a serious breakdown, which I suppose finally compelled him to speak, but it took everything that happened breakdown wise and how terribly ill I was physically to do that. I was a mess for about a year or so afterwards but once again I’m still here. It’s so terribly difficult to leave when your unable to earn your own living and have been entirely dependent on someone else for years. Now it’s happening again and I want and desperately need to leave. After years of having these treatments by him sprinkled on me between the more serious episodes I’ve finally had enough. I’m flaring health wise again so I have to wait for that to resolve before making a move as I’m extremely weak due to 20kg’s of weight loss. I’ve always been small so now I look almost anorexic. Definitely not anorexic as I love to cook and especially eat! I’m presently just too weak to cook and being ignored food wise by him doesn’t help. I’m older now and no doubt life will be lonely and frugal but I’ll be free of this hell, finally. Sorry about the super long reply Marlena. Please, don’t do what I’ve done and waste your life on someone who definitely doesn’t deserve you. Once I was an extremely happy, witty, outgoing, positive and strong bodied person. Creativity and music flowed daily..which has always been my solace. It will again. Stay well and please, do take care. 🙏

[@sallyjobartlett4659]

I was in a relationship with a Narcissist for 12 years. Three or so years before I left he suddenly did the silent treatment over something small and silly. But not only did he refuse to speak to me, he would not look at me or acknowledge my presence. He ate his meals separately, cleaned up everything and put it away like it never happened. He would come and go without a word. There was a righteous rage feeling to it. Definitely intended to hurt and punish. And this went on for three weeks. The first time when he ended it, I fell apart. He was suddenly sweet and tender. He did it about once a year those last three years. I made the choice to be cheerful when he did it and I would just go to the bedroom and read, watch shows and movies on my iPad, listen to music, do Facebook, cook just for me, etc. It actually was great preparation for being in quarantine. But because of my own childhood abandonment issues, it hurt deep and a lot. I told him I was leaving because I could not stand the Silent Treatment and he actually said, “I won’t do it any more then!” Yes, yes you will. Still healing, grateful for these videos. Oh and in lesser silent treatment modes he would talk through our dog, tell your Mother.... Thank you for your wisdom and insights Dr. Ramani.

[@notagain779]

Sally Jo Bartlett, Good you left. He needs some serious therapy. When people talk through their cat or dog, that's just nuts. At some point in childhood, they didn't learn how to effectively communicate about emotional issues. They're immature and stuck in arrested development.

[@cloudshadow954]

I love what you did. Just moved right along. I know it was hurtful but am glad you were wise and strong in handling the situation.

[@annlatham]

Relatable !

[@jennyh7850]

Never go back.

[@monicahocking1507]

@@notagain779 mine use to give my dog the silent treatment because he knew it hurt me more then when he did it to me.

[@itaintover93]

I’m actually enjoying the silent treatment. Inner peace.

[@itaintover93]

Update she was my roommate and she moved out last month ❤️

[@amscared2764]

Me too, I was so attached to my Ex Nacsis emotionally 😪 but now has been few weeks am doing well

[@lavanyaduggirala8559]

Right now. Me too

[@topherh5093]

Exactly sometimes you've said it all. Why keep talking about something that they don't listen too.

[@gypsipunk]

you know you are healed when you welcome it as a BREAK from them and laugh ~ and when they do it ~ you immediately see it

[@nicholeross2022]

It's so hurtful. I call it punishment for expressing my feelings since that's when it happens. It makes me shut down or I end up apologizing

[@davinawilkins2125]

That’s where I am now it hurts a lot 😔

[@yumki9177]

I’m experiencing it right now! It’s ma daughter, but you know what !?!?! This time it was So messed up & cruel & devious that I’m Not going to give in to her abusive , manipulative behavior ! I’m her punching bag bc she’s delusional & I think, Bipolar. Love her but done with feeling like I was punched in the Stomach ! Dr. ?? Can she also be bipolar & delusional ? Or does that fall into the same diagnosis?? 🙏🏼🤦🏽‍♀️

[@romanastrasheim5226]

😰Yes

[@ifoxfirei]

Exactly right. I was accused of not sharing my thoughts. Why do you think that is? You either get a robot you can control or an independent thinking adult.. Can't have both.

[@MsJones2U.]

🙏🏾😔

[@myschka999]

Stonewalling, manipulation, gas lighting, silent treatment...all of this is so toxic. What happened to direct honest kind authentic communication?! And yes, I blamed myself vs seeing their emotional immaturity and lack of genuine empathy. Feels heartbreaking.

[@christinabenpaul]

My mother loved the silent treatment - she loved to read and would ignore my presence for hours and hours. This woman had 6 kids and I don’t think she ever wanted to marry - she would have been happier as a catholic nun. She admitted to me a few years ago that I was an unwanted child and my existence created massive stress on the family. She doesn’t take responsibility for getting pregnant continuously- she blamed the Catholic Church for not allowing birth control. I feel better knowing she admitted she didn’t want me - the silent treatment and her general disgust for my presence made that truth known very early on. I thought I was a shy kid - I’m actually not - it’s hard to feel vivacious and expressive in a home with tension everywhere. We all looked down on my dad because he was an alcoholic but it is only after his death that I realized my mother put him down so much, that he developed low self esteem and a workaholism. He was a sweet guy and she broke him. Such damage to so many good people. Evil. I’m doing no contact with my mom now - the only way I will survive this life.

[@Jane-gt6ef]

She blamed a Catholic Church? Typical, isn't it... Never their fault! Many greetings to you 💐

[@joseenoel8093]

My mom did that to my older siblings, she'd parade that I was the only one she wanted. Not true, she only said that to hurt the others and I'm the golden child whose gone copper who called and helped the authorities put her away. Keep watching and heal, my covert mom went as far as to say she'd wished she'd never had 'that' abortion as 'that' child might have been 'nice'. She's still at the hospital 🏥 in detox onto long term care, I hope her bed sores chew her down to the bone.

[@lindadaly4505]

Wow, would not have been a very good nun

[@wolfgangk1]

I realize that those very harsh words your mother said to you are painful (I don't know her or you) But I'm guessing that you're a tough cookie and the only way she knew to hurt you was to use both barrels. Going "no contact" sounds right--but BE PREPARED that during this time she's revving up for a showdown--If you return the fire she won, gray-rock and out/HANG UP-you won. Remember, if you return the caustic response with another that's equal or worse than she'll only relay what you said when telling the story pulling you into explaining and YUCK--if you just walk away/hang up--she can only say that you walked away. I'm sure you've learned her tactics, as Dr. Ramani once said, being associated with a narcissist is like learning a language and acquiring their accent (it rubs off) Unlearn those--your mother sounds disturbed and toxic I'm sorry you're in this situation--you're at the right place and remember to BE PREPARED.

[@sarahjohnson8514]

Best of luck to you and good for you for knowing you can do this and it’s ok.

[@robinantonio8870]

I love how they think this is a punishment. It's nice not to have them picking a fight . Keep it up forever please.

[@malloryopheim8033]

My thoughts exactly. When I get ignored I'm like finally, peace!!

[@delightgutip1610]

They have no idea the amount of peace you enjoy in those moments. No fights, no stress 😅

[@GSDasukirashi777]

Silent treatment... they can dish it out nonchalantly but they can’t take it

[@CM-sm2pk]

My husband has extreme narcisstic tendencies. I have tried to work things out. Lately, being worn down, I just stop talking to him. I am tired, frustrated,, hurt. Why speak when I am not heard?

[@saraadams9518]

isn't that the truth!

[@lisewinne4423]

They can't take any of what they dish out. Abuse and hypocrisy are interwoven in every way.

[@princessannabelle4524]

True their silence is strong and quiet when they realize they misjudged you. It's okay to be wrong I'm not going to give them a hard time for making a mistake. It's a waste of energy to stay mad at them.

[@paulclinton6414]

As living God's, narcs have a right to judge but you have no right to judge them.

[@dandan-sq5zp]

It's crazy how easy it gets once you realize that the other is not just complicated but an actual Narcissist, seeing them as "psycho" helps A LOT to get red of your feelings and move on.

[@babyashy0802]

I thought he was complicated too until I learned about this

[@aidentoons]

instagram.com/p/COZItyHJyfV/ instagram.com/p/COqcsLDjv2R/ instagram.com/p/CPGMTdMjZo2/ kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKHIfnZ7rrZpb5o instagram.com/p/COlZzPajFED/ instagram.com/p/CMZW6a4FHZ5/

[@AliValentine143]

Yes, sad, but it's all I can think of it being because he doesn't treat people at work like this.

[@dandan-sq5zp]

@@AliValentine143 I totally moved on from "my" narcissist and I can tell you that I regret every single ounce of love attention and even thought I gave him, the sooner you move on with your life and kick him out of it the better for you, do not waste any minutes, best of luck

[@rdorion90]

The silent treatment makes me so mad, so mad that We can’t communicate like normal adults....it’s so frustrating but thankful my eyes are starting to become open

[@A.C.71]

If you are in a narcissistic relationship the best thing you can do is get the hell out of it. It truly is the only way to get your sanity back. they will crush you over time and basically brain wash you with their insanity convincing you the bad things are all your fault. It's not worth it to stay and you will never change them to stop taking all your goodness, wiping their feet with it and kicking it back in your face. They eat kind empathic people for breakfast. Stop feeding them.

[@cyncin7247]

They will never communicate like normal.

[@zivamariediva8082]

I booted mine out and the shock on his face was priceless haha after 11 years a covert and I knew nothing about this. I just couldn't take anymore and he had to go. 18 months later I am doing a lot better. So glad I had the strength and he never looked back

[@NoFoodFromNoOne]

43 days & counting living with the silent treatment. He may be "punishing" me but all it has done is open my eyes to the emotional abuse I've been put thru all of these years along with our kids. Thank you for your video !

[@sarahahmad4537]

Same here, three weeks and counting, but I m going to stop apologising! I m putting a wrong example for my kids by showing them that they should apologise just for the sake of making peace. I have done that and it just feeds his ego!

[@geni2906]

Stop counting and leave. Good luck

[@peacefaith560]

yessss, he coming back

[@movingfreedom]

8 years. Have to count. Not a relationship I can leave: it is my brother. :(

[@traceyburnett1156]

Same here w me this ST has been going on since Dec till now I'm over it and I can't get threw to this dumbass acting like my other kid I already have 5 dont need a 6th.

[@tamsynbouttell8184]

Currently receiving the silent treatment from my narcissistic mother. It's been 1 year and 5 months since we last spoke. It's been such a relief to get away from her incessant criticisms, judgements and Jekyll and Hyde behaviour while she enables my equally narcissistic step father. Life is peaceful and happy now. I'm done fighting to be loved and accepted, it was exhausting to always be too much and never enough at the same time. It's so sad. She's missing out on a daughter that truly loves her and just wanted to be loved in return.

[@arthuromondi9123]

Kip strong

[@JSKCafe]

I'm going through the same thing. It's the only thing that is giving her satisfaction of control.

[@jessitabonita]

“... exhausting to be too much and never enough at the same time.” YES. 😔

[@JudeScott007]

Don't feel shocked when she call out of the blue and makes an empty reference to the fight or whatever it was they provoked her. It will usually be for a reason she makes out to be important (when it's really not) and "we need to put our differences behind us right now,.....bla bla bla, and the silent period is never addressed again.

[@speciabilitator]

I know exactly what you mean by "too much and never enough at the same time." Same place, same relationship (my mother). My life is so much more relaxed and stable without her in my life.

[@helenraethke6737]

I am on the silent treatment atm. This is the last time as I can't deal with the shit any more

[@legalservices8856]

GET OUT! while the getting is good!

[@AnitaxBeaN]

Did you do it? I hope you did ❤

[@Magician12345]

no never deal with it ever.

[@ngofashekinah6110]

please leave

[@manjugurung6834]

Same. Here I'm watching Dr. Ramani's videos at 4:04 am.

[@bogmon]

My own experiences with Narcissists has taught me that they are wounded at an early age and never properly managed the damage left by their parents in childhood. It's petulance and self absorbption that reveals itself in many very unsavory ways. Lack of communication and Silence is one for sure. Playing the victim card is another. All these point to a need for validation and a stroking of the ego. It's a constant need for love masked in validation, praise or attention.

[@JohnDoe-oy7sz]

Not true cuz at work id always be overlooked and the wrong people would get praised i didnt care lmaooo😂

[@ThisIsMe155]

Yes, I agree!! It's more than a quest for love (which would be understandable and rational). It's a quest for Power, Dominance and Control. Needing 'Love' may be at the root of the issue but 'to get love we need to give out love'! Do controlling, domineering, hateful, vengeful and manipulative behaviours convey Love or Hatred?? Good or Evil?? Do they mirror God or the Devil?? Time for these people to wake up, take accountability, take responsibility and....Repent to those they have 'repeatedly' wronged and to God!! That would be a start!!! 😮

[@rubisiyodi6701]

I am thankful for the silent treatment I was given. It was a craziest hardest most confusing weeks of my life but it ended up being the clearest red flag for me. It saved me many years of trouble.

[@sheilaprice1942]

Thank God!!! 🙌

[@myadior787]

Good!!! Its a chance to escape.

[@Gracielaoberto]

I used the silence treatment of his to end the 'relationship' finally. 🥳

[@sandygrays4066]

So glad it's over.... New year... New Me

[@donnajk4423]

Me too. 👍 hang in there. Let's enjoy being us 😊❤

[@christianpulisic7784]

Graciela Oberto,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life at all

[@Gracielaoberto]

@@christianpulisic7784 nobody needs that.

[@christianpulisic7784]

@@Gracielaoberto You are absolutely right dearest 🌹🌹🌷🌹.I am Christian from the States.You?

[@jimenasalasugarte6935]

Talk about how narcissists HATE to be silent treated!

[@notagain779]

@Adam Alexander , It depends on the reason. If you've tried to be heard and discuss a problem, some people will not even try to understand. They may act confused and play games because they enjoy taunting you. I think it's alright to just give up and stop contacting them. It's self preservation in that case.

[@karenzilverberg4699]

Yup, Jimena Salas Ugarte, they act angry and then they treat themselves to a night on the town.

[@vchanney]

@@VNIXmusic I have a similar situation. Where I had to give the silent treatment or we would have been going n the same conversational circle getting nowhere. I had to tell myself enough is enough.

[@notagain779]

@@VNIXmusic, You were right to remove yourself from his manipulations. All he wanted was a power play, not attempting to come to any understanding.

[@lendrury2771]

@Adam Alexander during my almost 4 years with a female narcissist I never gave a purposeful silent treatment because I personally think that mode of behavior is very childish and hurtful However there were times when she was ranting and raving over basically nothing that I felt it was best to take myself out of the equation temporarily for a cooling off period Here's another sneaky little fkn manipulation game she would constantly play with me She would bombard me with text messages and expect me to respond instantaneously to them all which I generally did but when she became preoccupied with something else I would be immediately cut off and if I questioned it later on I would get a tirade However on occasions that I couldn't immediately respond to a message due to work duties she would go off into an accusatory childish rant laden with false accusations It really is exhausting and draining and extremely stressful being involved with a narcissist

[@cleaningtim]

I asked myself, what did my narcissist sister think she was taking from me by her silent treatment. It wasn't a loss to me. She actually was doing me a favor by giving me peace, and she and her family were losing a very decent person by her giving me the silent treatment. Narcissists are so stupid. They think they are winners and are hurting you, but they are actually losers and are hurting themselves and causing their own grief.

[@xavierking2505]

I knew I was over my narcissist when I got the silent treatment and was relieved when they did it. It gave me time to recover and heal. The crazy thing was they really thought I was waiting for them, instead of LIVING OUT MY LIFE🤷🏽‍♂️

[@webdoar]

They also go silent when you corner them in their fabrications etc

[@sowhat7118]

☑☑☑®

[@colleenstrayer3542]

Am I alone here? I LOVE the silent treatment. It stops the constant negative, expletive-filled criticism and soul destroying diatribes. Bring it on.

[@ebsfbs]

Agreed! Idk if i m narcissistic or not, but silent treatment HEALS me, it gives me time to think instead of nonsense of arguing.

[@1LovedbyHim]

I will literally give anyone, who is wearing out my mind in anyway, the silent treatment. I do not have the malicious intent whatsoever, neither am I throwing an adult temper tantrum. I’m just exhausted and refuse to have a conversation with those I know won’t be open to one. I’d rather have peace, than to be right!

[@sirplus3284]

I also need the silent treatment in serous arguments . I need to separate my emotions from the deed or the act . The time to reflect , see it from the other persons point of view and to calmly express my dissatisfaction . I don't see the use in never ending arguments and ramping up emotions until a solution is found

[@k.k8000]

The silent treatment she talking about last sometimes for months not just for day. This is different

[@sirplus3284]

@@k.k8000 really months ! How could anyone do that ! Its beyond imaginable Thanks for reply

[@chloelovecat7389]

What a waste of one’s life, energy and emotions to be involved with a narc. They just never change. There’s no hope. If they are covert narcs ,you will be subtly abused. Others won’t see it, but you’ll be made “ the crazy person” to their friends who don’t know how evil they are. It’s the worst thing for your mental health to stay with a narcissist, even if your relationship moves to friendship. They are spiritually dead inside and use your life, time and energy to fill their cup, or will be on the prowl for another supply or have one waiting on the shelf. They’re basically vampires, sucking the lifeblood out of others. Be happy when they are gone. Life will feel more peaceful, eventually you’ll heal. and you won’t be getting sucked dry constantly. Life is too short to waste on these abusers. Value yourself.

[@pameladavis9939]

WOW, couldn't have said any better!! THANK YOU🙋💯☺️

[@meredithbarrett8395]

Well said ❤

[@yvettecariaga223]

Well said!

[@susanv7415]

I grew up with the silent treatment..even as a very very young child, so my wiring is that silence equals anger and abandonment. I've had enough insight into this family of origin issue to explain to partners/friends how devastating it is to me. The last relationship used it against me, which is why I was able to exit. To use my most painful experience against me told me this man was a nightmare for me.

[@wendybarker5118]

Susan Watson glad you left, good for you.

[@jennlullaby6195]

Mine continues to re-traumatize me with my trauma. From childhood secrets and throughout my adult life even disrespects my future. Says nothing afterwards will let weeks go by without a word and decide to ask me if I need anything from the store. I'm currently apartment searching in the middle of a global pandemic and being laid off.

[@ashg4045]

The narc will give you the silent treatment and when you go no contact, they will say YOU are giving them the silent treatment.

[@CoffinKitten]

Omg yes! I’m currently dealing with that. My narcissist father went a whole year not speaking to me because I dated someone of a different race. So once I decided to go no contact as well, he got angry because I didn’t wish him a happy birthday. So I was the “villain” in his eyes. Smh

[@Jen-qd7sc]

Unbothered Perspective yikes! I’m sorry. My ex husband went psycho on me when he found out I’d dated a guy from Salvador. He was so angry with me he started to abuse me! He put soap up my vagina and said I was gross and disgusting. He yelled at me to move to Mexico and have Mexican babies. After the abuse went on and on and on I moved out and he divorced me. A $40,000 wedding and a 5 month marriage!!

[@briana14333]

THIS is EXACTLY what happened to me. Sick and twisted individuals!

[@ashg4045]

I have been given the silent treatment on and off for almost 9 years now by my in-laws. My husband and I tried to set boundaries and it just became a challenge for the narcs. We went no contact and get guilt tripped like hell from the flying monkeys. The narcs tell us to get over it, but we just don't respond. We are not going to "get over" the racist comments, them calling me a whore, them calling me a bitch, them saying I have cheated on my husband with his friend (which never happened), calling me lazy when I have chronic migraines and other diagnosed medical conditions, tamper with our mail, and so much other junk. We have told them it will take a sincere apology and a longterm change in behavior, but they can never provide either. Thankfully, we have great friends and some healthy family members who keep us grounded. Therapy helped me a lot as well. I have absolutely nothing good to say about them. I hope they have to self-reflect at some point and they are as disgusted with themselves as we are with them.

[@ckl5801]

It’s a complete talent these narcs have with the ability to flip everything and make it your fault and all about them!

[@AppliedMathematician]

If you are an introvert with some hobbies the silent treatment gives you the perfect opportunity for some time off, just be silent too and do your stuff. Gives them a nice reversal of their common "damned if you do and damned if you don't" mind games, since, to create drama they have to break their silent treatment. If you are psychologically tough you can easily use their treatment against them, you just need to overcome your shame of beeing justified (passive) aggressive if they are.

[@charismaw1040]

👍

[@scottstrange8809]

See... I was actually dating someone and my roommate at the time was doing this because I didn’t sit with them at mass because I came in late or something really dumb and trivial. The roommate wanted a fight. I was like “bye got a date.” On the date, the roommate tried to blow up my phone... turned my phone off because I wasn’t going to let them ruin my date. The roommate was PISSED. Mind you, my ex spouse was a narcissist so I was well familiar with these little games. I shrugged went to my room and chilled with my dog. Same person I was dating like a week later as the roommate was noticeably not even acknowledging my presence asked why I didn’t just give the roommate what he wants. I saw this as a huge red flag and I quickly distanced myself from that relationship, but I said, “I don’t negotiate with emotional terrorists. He knew this was a boundary and even told me he knew it was abusive. He decided to do it anyways... so he gets to suffer the consequences of said actions that he’s continuing to do. That’s not going to change just because he threw a tantrum.“ While it bothered me 3 weeks later, I actually like being alone and having alone time... I just did my own thing like I normally did. It does backfire on us, but still takes a toll.

[@marthawhite3353]

My dad used to do this a lot, I'm still waiting for him to tell me what he was so upset about. He's been dead for 14 years and I spent most of my adult life with absolutely no contact.

[@mazzystar9488]

I used the silent treatment to go no contact with several narcs in my life. They went silent, and I realized my worth and walked away from the relationship.

[@angelaggarrido7816]

Exactly what is happening to me, it was like a wake up call, at the beginning I was falling for it and feeling guilty that I demanded honesty from the narc and for being angry at his lies but than God he stopped talking to me because soon I realized I was right for demanding honesty and he was just trying to manipulate me and trying to break me with his silent treatment. I soon realized he was not offering anything good and I am right and it's over ! And I'm never ever let him back in. He just confirmed to me that is not going to be possible to have a healthy relationship with him. I'm free!!

[@bbooher9663]

Me,too !

[@StellaAdler_]

im gonna do this today actually, i realized this new guy ive been talking to is sadly yet another narc & im just gonna go gray rock. disappear...

[@tamradelaney7727]

Mazzy, fading into you is much better then fading out of conversation. I miss that deep love.

[@JB---]

The reason can be that the narcissist has been cruel to the victim, and then has to punish the victim for looking hurt. Yeah, very bizarre and dysfunctional and completely self-absorbed.

[@nells1971]

They sure do that.

[@lexismart100]

“They will hold their breath until they pass out”! Great 👍🏽

[@christinalw19]

Elexis: they should hold their breath indefinitely. 🙄👍🏼

[@sparkie777]

Till they pass out and then another 20 more mins should do it

[@BeautyAtTheAltar]

😂😂😂😂

[@Kim-vs4vb]

@Krishna Patel same here, same happened to me, everything u said I’ve personally experienced it with my own family and friends but with my American and other overseas friends, they appreciate me, I get along so well, I can be my true self, I feel so happy and alive to be understood, appreciated and valued plus respected, but my own family will I’ll treat me, treat me like I’m mad, I’m very sensitive, intelligent, kind. compassionate, i have my own mind which to my mother means I’m against her bcoz I don’t act, think, dress, talk, eat etc like her but my two other sisters have are just like her , I’m very different, I’m her sworn enemy and the other outside women, in that twisted evil mind, Despite her bad mouthing and smearing me with lies to all our families I didn’t do that to her or my sisters or dad or anyone who jumped on her hate me train, I just quietly left, no contact, and I just don’t talk about them, I don’t need my side of the story to be told which is the truth, bcoz everyone has believed her lies, I’ve left it to god to dish karma to each and everyone of them for how they desperately tried to ruin my life but with the grace of god and kindness from strangers I’m still alive and working towards a beauty future, some days he hardships are so great that I feel so hopeless but then I watch these videos, interact with good people here, sometimes have a quick cry but then I get back up to fight again, to try again.... thank u for sharing your story🤗 glad to know there’s others just like me out there and that I’m not crazy. Take care 🤗

[@tobyevans6299]

The silent treatment makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I am always surprised at how much stamina they have to keep this up for so long.

[@mymusic4821]

Exactly!

[@MysticalDyl]

I honestly am convinced they make it their life purpose bc they either don’t have to straighten up bc nobody around them tells them or they don’t have any desires besides using ppls personality and behaviors to their benefit to make them seem like the ppl they’re around

[@ladyredd6857]

It's because they are evil

[@bussadeevallings8057]

I has horrible this toxic 4 year it absolutely same circle loop now I walk away totally out of this toxic

[@ishitaisha4947]

Hey I am going through a lot.. I’m 23 and I have a boyfriend since three years who does this to me all the time.. I have cried multiple times and he has been bluntl and said I deserve to cry. He made me miserable for going to work, for choosing myself over him, for moving on after he cheated on me.. he comes back and then within days repeats the same things.. he gaslights me, then spend some money to keep me dependent on him, he attacks me until I go crazy and react and then use that against me to make me feel like I’m the problem . I have been struggling a lot with nobody to go to and I have tried therapy.. and my therapy told me that I’m with a sadist and I need to get out as fast as I can, and this guy came back and I told him I’m seeing a therapist and he said that I’m a bitch and I portrayed with wrongly. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m trapped in a loop.

[@luluNegonga]

I’ve been through this and it was damaging... and the gaslighting and manipulation... even when I was sick, they still went on with the silence treatment.. and they were mean. I took blame for their wrongs and over apologise.. I’m over it now.. I now know when I see a narcissist and I run the other way.. 🥰

[@ngofashekinah6110]

exactly this is how it happens. it is so painful

[@malebelomaphutha6566]

Can relate, healing together babe

[@brittaniwingate8090]

Painful is an understatement. I’m dealing with this now ☹️

[@sylvia4272]

How come they all act the same way?? Is it learned behaviour from their own family? Is it inherited? Is it a mental illness? All I know is that my mother was a ‘one off’, no one as far as I could see in the whole family who was like her. And I drew the short straw!!

[@malebelomaphutha6566]

@@sylvia4272 they all act the same way although the cause of the behavior is from different sources and upbringings as I've read. Some where spoiled and never reprimanded so they think their way is the one and the world should bow to that, some where only given attention by parents when they performed well at school or achieved something so they've learnt to not pay attention to empathy/emotions and some where raised by a narc parent/caregiver. They'd show the same behavior as a disorder has similar behavioral patterns/symptoms just like viruses do as well.

[@genawright3269]

I had been living with the silent treatment for YEARS. (I’d say about 4 were silent out of a 6.5 year marriage.) It was like we were strangers who lived in the same house & shared a child. We weren’t even cordial (no “hellos” or “good morning/evening”.) He had no clue what was going on in my life, & vice versa. (I don’t even think he knows where I work.) He gave me absolutely nothing. He completely ignored me & treated me like I didn’t exist (maybe he is a neglectful narcissist?), so hurtful. I didn’t give in though. I withdrew into myself & gave him the silent treatment right back. (I started meditating, which is a godsend.) I finally filed for divorce & moved out about a month ago with our very young daughter. I just got tired of the psychological warfare & emotional abuse. Done! Even though I still have to go through the divorce & custody process, I already feel a sense of relief. I finally have my own space again, with healthy energy to work on myself so that I don’t make the mistake of attracting another toxic, narcissistic partner. It definitely helps the healing process to educate oneself on this topic. Thanks, Dr. Ramani!

[@abrilherrera9523]

The more I see these videos the more I understand that my whole life my intuition was right... There was something wrong with my mother and it wasn't me.

[@lucibloom5966]

It’s a great realisation to have. I’ve also been fortunate to realise this too. That I was right all along. The longer time you go no contact the clearer it becomes. After reading this comment section and listening to Dr ramani I can honestly look back and recognise them all as SO abnormal it’s amazing I even survived that sick family unit!

[@Queen_EL11]

This. To this day, she still can’t understand why we don’t have a solid relationship.

[@ManUntdForever]

Spot on. My mom has 0 emotional maturity or self-awareness. Not once have I ever heard a legitimate apology from her. I always knew her behavior wasn’t normal and to know that it’s actually rooted in abuse really all makes sense.

[@SailingNovaturient]

I feel the same way about my SO. I have that perspective now.

[@pallaviverma3528]

same!

[@beckyweller-parks4463]

I’m always thankful for the silent treatment!❤️ =I get a break from hateful/demeaning words!

[@celiaescalante]

I know, but then I tell we both move on to other people and bounce back as Sitches in a situationship. We should instead be friends!!!

[@pumagame5339]

Same. Now after hearing this im confused if im the one whos narcissist

[@preciousjamandre4511]

I was in a relationship with a narc who always give me silent treatment. I broke up with him the other day, blocked him also.

[@chloex7211]

Good on you, I'm happy for you! You did the right thing! 💯 Narcissistic people will never learn.

[@AmandaLyonsMusic23]

Run!!!!!

[@Amanda-t5p6c]

Oh you do know that's not the end,he will be in touch soon.They like to be the one who ends it, there way.Not you.Sorry,just from my experience Try to ignore..

[@sabrinamohammed9778]

@@Amanda-t5p6c the ignoring is the hardest part it's not like you're looking for an answer it's jus why do they reach out? Why?

[@Amanda-t5p6c]

@@sabrinamohammed9778 I don't know really,they are either silent or start on you constantly and this is very confusinng,I guess once he finds someone else to play games with, more like mental torture it seems rather,well it will end.Be strong,a good man is coming.🙂

[@shirleycolee1]

I made three categories for my narcissist's games: 1.)The Rage Attack (scary the first times)- screaming, threatening! For little or no reason. Out of the blue. 2.) The Silent Treatment - also for little of no reason. 3.) The Long Lecture - verbally attacking you and on and on telling you what's wrong with you. He admitted he did these to get his way. Pathetic.

[@paulatrombetta1105]

OMG...exactly!

[@Justin.Martyr]

*When a Moron TALKS SHIT in MY FACE, I Give them the ToTaL HATE Treatment!!!!*

[@mrs.salazar5219]

Yes! That’s exactly it! You described my childhood with my narcissistic parents.

[@melissa7633]

Shirley, sounds exactly like my husband... exhausting 🥺

[@cardinalflower6959]

Amazing that he admitted it!

[@Anne-ih3jm]

The silent treatment is “emotional abuse”. I would make fun of my ex when he gave me the silent treatment. I called it his “pout and punish” mode. How I wish I had dumped him the very first time he did it when we were dating!

[@homeatlastfarm1]

Oh my gosh the "pout and punish mode"! That's a great way to put it because that's exactly what it is!

[@azdoglover7]

Gorgeous description and it gives such clarity!

[@drumur]

Stonewalling

[@lucibloom5966]

I just say to my mother now “silence is golden. Thanks for the peace ✌🏻 “ she’s so ridiculous

[@Jeremiah7-ox2nj]

All of my family members are narcissists. It must be genetic snd/ or learned behavior. I was the victim of this abuse and the family scapegoat.

[@AngieVallejo-q8v]

Narcissistic people ignore you and refuse to apologize, a victim of the abuse goes silent after they have had enough of it and refuse to argue with the abuser

[@elizdonovan5650]

Back when I was still married to a narcissist I remember one time that was utterly outrageous. After approximately 3 and a half weeks of excruciatingly painful silent treatment (during which I made meals, did normal household chores, went to work, still sleeping in same bed etc) I, late one night in the bedroom, went down on my knees, apologizing saying I didn’t know what it was I had done wrong, that if only he would tell me, that maybe I could fix it, if he would only speak to me. I remember saying that if he wasn’t ever going to speak to me again, then the time had come to separate. Well, he spoke, when I asked him why he was silent and in such controlled rage (as I could remember no triggering event) he told me he had no idea and couldn’t remember what started it. I was so relieved that he was speaking again. He also said that what he really enjoyed was, the ‘making up’ part after a long period of silence. It also seemed to give him a total high. Strange, I would be exhausted physically and mentally and he would be completely energized and on top of the world. It was a very toxic period. And only got worse. I Look back at that whole period of my life and it’s like another universe. It’s a totally crazy, out of control life. I don’t think that it’s possible to survive in it. A person has to leave to have any kind of life for the children or themselves. I still don’t understand how or why I endured what misery he dished out. I’m not surprised that people ask things like “well, if it was that bad, why didn’t you leave earlier or tell people”. It’s like it is Stockholm syndrome, where you sublimate everything about yourself to their wishes and to not making them mad or upset. You’ll try to say and do everything to keep them happy. They also undermine everything about you and I mean everything. They lie and say people said things about you that were never said. They minimize any achievement and magnify any failing. They like to catastropheise if that’s a word. If caught out in their lies, They will justify whatever they said or did. Just know one thing ... you can never satisfy the person, you will never be enough, your efforts will never satisfy, they will break you and children if any into fragments and enjoy and revel in the process. If you want any kind of life, you have to leave them even though they will plead that they can’t live without you, even threaten sucide and place the responsibility for that at your door. They are dangerous, will have no problem stalking you or otherwise threatening you or putting/keeping you in fear. If you’re leaving be careful about your safety. Tell as many people as possible. Make statements to the police if you are in fear. At the end of it all, there is a life, a different life, a better life, a safer and happier life. Go live your life in safety. Best wishes to all those in the process of trying to escape from bad people. Stay safe and prosper 😊 🌲🌝☘️

[@haithamalmohandes9601]

How did you break out?

[@chocochipcookie1875]

What an interesting perspective! Coming from a narc himself. "Being chased" Make them feel special I guess.

[@elizdonovan5650]

@@haithamalmohandes9601 There is no ‘one size fits all’ way of getting out that I know of. If you are in a bad situation you will need to assess your situation and find a way out that is appropriate in your culture, country, state. You will need to tell those you can trust about your situation and see who, if anybody, you can rely on. If you are fearful for your or your children’s safety, tell the local police and make a statement. Be careful who you confide in as the narcissist may also be manipulating them. There may be supportive groups in your neighborhood. Check your local library or doctors office, medical center or hospital. I wish you well and safe. Do be careful if you are in a bad situation. 🌲🌝☘️

[@TerenaTalk]

This was so very well stated.

[@nikkielafamosa69]

I'm in it now...

[@A78cts23]

The silent treatment is what my ex-husband thought was a way to "break up" with me after 7 years of marriage, ironically the best thing that happened to me

[@ecampbell5837]

It’s so mature isn’t it? I’ve been there too. Glad you’re out of it!

[@christopherbirdsong2274]

@@ecampbell5837 I had no idea this stuff could happen to anybody, let alone myself! I just think that's the lowest thing, and it speaks volumes about these people's true character. No grown adult thinks it's ok to end a ltr, engagement, especially a marriage, or a family with kids by just ghosting the other half. It's just absurd! But normal is sorta what crazy truly is these days. I'm praying for you both!

[@romybank]

@@christopherbirdsong2274 eye thought the same. And my ex would even promise he’d never ghost me. Yeah. But then he never spoke the truth.

[@evaniasamaroo3179]

Me after 30 years

[@Scottish-Ali-C]

Absolute same!!!! Mine ended our marriage by email!!!!

[@cindyj5522]

Yup..my ex used the silent treatment as 1. a punishment 2. a passive aggressive manipulation instead of naming his issue(s) aloud and having a discussion 3. a demonstration of victimhood. He once told me that he did it because it was "the only way he could teach me a lesson." It went on for nearly two years at the end of our 10-year marriage. I finally learned not to care whether or not he talked to me. I divorced him which solved the problem permanently.

[@fUn4U-boo2]

My narc would give me the silent treatment for no other reason but to devalue me. It would come out of nowhere, and last for days. I would call, text, even go to their house and knock on their door, (their car in driveway and tv on) only to be ignored. I would get to the point that I worried something terrible had happened to them and have another person try to call them, and the narc would answer right away for the other person and act annoyed with me for bothering them. I have since gone no contact and it feels like I was in some kind of cult. It's been over 2 years and I'm still in therapy, trying to heal the damage done to my self-esteem and self-worth by this person. There is only one way for anybody to be happy in this type of relationship; GO NO CONTACT.

[@tonibreen5560]

I really find it interesting when they realize after a few weeks the silent treatment isn't working!

[@sowhat7118]

Yep!

[@soniais5091]

How long does it last lol. Less work for me.

[@LeLeB37]

OMG OMG OMG!!!! The long draw out conversations I have had with myself while the Narc just sat there like a chastised child!!! Jesus take the wheel!!!

[@CobraDove1111]

Totally!

[@valerieshepherd6823]

I've just had 2 months of the silent treatment... what a boost from dealing with his crap lol xxx

[@joosullivan7677]

"The only adult in the room" so true.

[@19TAURUSGIRL91]

A lot of people are talking about their partners but this is what my mom does to me. For yeaaars since I was a child, she just pretends I don’t exist and will only talk to my sister even when I sitting right next to her. We’ve gone weeks without speaking while living in the same house. It still hurts me but I’m indifferent to her now.

[@Deemce]

I’m so so sorry you have to go through that as a child. My ex, the father of my three children gave me silent treatment and it was so painful. I put up with him for the sake of our children but when he didn’t asked/text me back and asked about one of our kids when we just came back from the hospital I thought that was it. I took all the three of them and left their dad. As a mother I simply cannot imagine a child have to go through all of those things. It’s so painful and damaging to me and I’m an adult! Be gentle to yourself and take care.

[@nancyayotte2297]

I can relate only I'm 55 and it took me until recently to stop beating myself up over it please recognize your mother's immaturity and don't own it. Realize before your my age to distance yourself as much as possible from the poisonous ones. I live with my mother now and it does hurt when family ignores us but I too have become indifferent to them. I'm still in shock from figuring out how much damage my mother has done to me which of course she'll deny and i still have to remind myself that I'm not imagining things so i write down things that are undeniably dysfunctional to remind myself I'm not crazy. I wish you the best honey. Get stronger in the meantime and walk away with your head up. What your mother is doing to you is wrong and hurtful know in your ❤️ it's.true and you don't deserve to be treated that way especially by your mother.

[@melotika]

My mom too!

[@goesfarfliesnear1447]

@@nancyayotte2297 Wow, we are in the same boat. I'm close to your own age and live with mother, who has a long history of silent treatment when she is "hurt" or just being her victim self. I try to distance myself from her and the rest of the family because it's become painfully apparent who and what they are. After years of being gaslighted and told, "Who do you think you are?" I've come to see myself as the strong, bright and healthy woman that I am. It takes work and the ability to let it roll off you but it can be done. We didn't have a choice as children, but as adults we can look at those around us who are narcissistic and see them for what they are and be stronger for it. We rock!

[@goesfarfliesnear1447]

I'm sorry too for what you have to go through and have been through. I think it's almost worse when it's a parent because they're our first role model. Parents can hurt us so deeply and it's tough to get past. Just know that you are an articulate, sensitive young woman who is worth hearing from-there are several of us who think so. See your mother for who she is and that she's stuck in her "stuff." Let her have it. When you can, get away and don't look back, just ahead. People like us will be there for you. I'm sorry, I know it hurts but you're going to get through it, I have a hunch. Take care!