Doctors who deliver Babies, what FUNNY things have People SCREAMED Giving Birth? - Reddit Podcast

[@shineyluna1268]

The 1st thing my mom said when I was born is "it's a baby!" In complete, honest, amazement.

[@j3hope673]

Hahahaha 🤣

[@Ihatecynosjokes]

😂😂😂

[@StarberryCreetH]

"Weird, I thought it'd be a honda civic."

[@nathanpfirman625]

I think that’s the only valid response.

[@Lord_Of_The_WhoLock]

​@@StarberryCreetH PFFT- HAHAHAHA

[@baliyae]

I’ve got to admit, the teenage dad ready to catch his baby like a football player would make an interesting (and funny) story to tell his kid one day.

[@shedotshearts]

When my 3rd sister was born, my mom was on the delivery table, waiting for the doctor, before she noticed my sister pushing HERSELF out the womb. She even told the doctor that she wasn’t pushing at all. Safe to say, that energy from her birth stayed with her.

[@maximodubs4189]

Power move

[@lynn69jackson]

Apparently, that's how I was born. My mom wasn't worried as I was her 3rd baby, and she was glad she didn't need stitches after me.

[@shedotshearts]

On the contrary, I was her longest birth (which makes sense, since I’m the first kid)

[@beastmaster0934]

@@shedotshearts Same here. I took 12 hours And my mom’s reward for pushing for 12 hours? A 6 pound baby with a giant head and a tiny body.

[@Lord_Of_The_WhoLock]

Your sister was just like: "fine.... I'll do it myself!"

[@sarajobangerter3851]

Not in the medical profession, but this story has been passed down in my family. My grandfather and his ex-wife were having their third kid. The ex-wife was a nurse as well as having kids before, so she knew when she was going into labor. They arrive at the hospital and the doctor just looks at her and doesn't believe that she's in labor. They're sitting in the waiting room and my grandpa checks her and she's crowning. He finds a supply closet, grabs some gloves and just starts delivering the baby right there in the waiting room. This, of course, caught the attention of some nurses who started panicking and tried to push my grandpa away and told his ex to stop pushing until they could get her to a room. My grandpa and his ex refused and he finished helping her deliver a healthy baby girl.

[@Not.Soph938]

respects to grandpa

[@Deas-Mhumhna]

Its actually very dangerous to tell a woman in labor to stop pushing. This can lead to severe damage and an eventual c-section. Nurses really need to not tell women this unless their bleeding, tearing, breach, or other medical reasons. You not wanting to do paperwork or not admit you were wrong is not a reason to do medical malpractice and put someone else's life at risk.

[@sinny5404]

@@Deas-Mhumhna Did you know in some countries its considered normal for the mother to not push after crowning? They let the body naturally do the rest of the work believing it prevents tearing for a natural, slow birth. They scream less too, it's actually rather peaceful looking. I've seen quite a few videos of birth like this doing my homework on what to expect, don't know if it's the best choice but it does look quite peaceful. (Not an excuse for the nurses though in that situation lol)

[@YouMon138]

Well those doctors are completely and utterly stupid like a woman is giving birth like dude

[@Deas-Mhumhna]

@@sinny5404 Natural pushing is fine. I'm talking about when the nurses or staff try to prevent the push, natural or by the woman, from happening at all. Some staff will block the baby to prevent progress before the doctor comes in. The only reason that should be done if its a medical emergency but some staff will prevent it just because they don't want the extra paperwork. Natural is fine. Forcing the baby back is not.

[@betsyb]

my mom’s funny moment during labor really had nothing to do with the pain (my brother and i were both c-sections), but apparently when i was born i was immediately screaming bloody murder, compared to my older brother who was much quieter. my mom’s first words after my birth were “she sounds angry”

[@beastmaster0934]

That’s me and my sister when we were born. When I was born, I didn’t make a peep, just looked around like “where the f am I?” And then there’s my sister, who screamed like a damn banshee. And she’s been loud as hell ever since. (We were born 6 years apart btw, me in 2001, her in 2007)

[@TheNormExperience]

Doctor to my mother: “Ok, now bend your legs to help with the delivery.” My Mother drowning in pain: “You bend your f*+%ing legs! I’m BUSY!”

[@ani4301]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@robertholmberg6485]

When I was born, I caused a real panic. My mother was told that I would be born at 2 or 3 the next morning. My mother said "I'm not staying up that long!" and grabbed the back of the hospital bed she was in and pushed as hard as she could and HOOP there I was, placenta in tact. My father panicked and then the nurses and a little after the doctor panicked. So instead of being born at 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. the 26th., I was born at 10:00 p.m. the 25th

[@randomdoodlesstudios9215]

Woman’s got her priorities straight lol

[@beachygg13]

That's- You know what 👏👏👏

[@beastmaster0934]

Your mom was like “F*ck that shit”

[@megarhombus7532]

She said: "aw nah fuck that shit."

[@claytonhess5512]

Power move!!!

[@seadragon4425]

When my sister was born, my mum yelled “TWO MINUTES IN THIS WORLD AND SHE ALREADY TORE ME A NEW ASSHOLE!!!”

[@paparoysworkshop]

During the last weeks of my wife's pregnancy, my mother stayed at our place when I was working. We lived about 30 minutes out of Fort Saskatchewan. I worked in Fort Saskatchewan not far from the hospital. Just past midnight, my wife goes into labor so my mother calls the hospital informing them and also calls me at work. Since I am much closer, I arrive at the hospital before my wife (driven by my mother) does. The nurses come running out of the hospital with a wheelchair as I approached the main doors, stopped suddenly and with a serious tone asked, "did you forget to bring your wife"?

[@tsgrandma9837]

That's funny.😅

[@comflex..]

NO WAY

[@michellej7831]

That made me laugh our loud, Mt cup pf t🤣🤣😂ea ran down my nose.

[@paparoysworkshop]

@@michellej7831 Well, I'm glad you did not drown in your tea. Have a nice day.

[@lollybirdy]

I was in the room when my brother was born and my mom didn't say anything but I was eating my cool ranch Doritos and my brother just flies out. Like I'm not joking. I stopped eating my Doritos and had my mouth open for a good few seconds. It was hilarious but also gross.

[@mohammedyuanisveryweird]

Your brother: *I shall pop into life* **pop** :○

[@lollybirdy]

@@mohammedyuanisveryweird pretty much

[@FilosophicalPharmer]

I’m never eating Doritos ever again… 😜

[@Cheri8795]

@@lollybirdy ooh I haven't had Doritos in a long time. They sound good! I like the cool ranch, but have you ever had the original dipped in the Frito Lay jalapeno cheddar dip? So good! I miss them and wish I could eat some. I just ate some Sunbelt brand dark chocolate chunk granola bars so something not sweet would be good. See what you did? Lol. Have a great day/night! ✨🌸✨

[@inffinn]

Wish I could have had a memory like this lol, my parents sent me and my brother to school bc they thought we’d be too young to go (we were 7 and 9)

[@dutchvanderbilt9969]

I got to witness the birth of one of my nephews and let me tell you it was a horror show. I looked over the curtains just in time to see his head pop out for a few seconds then he got sucked right back in. And I'm not proud of how I reacted but I yelled out "her *censored* ate the baby!!" And everyone and I mean everyone died laughing.

[@randomdoodlesstudios9215]

Thats the literal funniest thing I’ve read all day-

[@dutchvanderbilt9969]

@@randomdoodlesstudios9215 if only you'd been there....

[@DimentioFan1]

​@@dutchvanderbilt9969 OMG WOW I... *TEAKETTLE WHEEZE

[@aastridd_0]

" Her censored ate the baby!! " You obviously don't know how childbirth works lol XDDD

[@dutchvanderbilt9969]

@@aastridd_0 I know how it worked that one time!

[@Fuzz32]

My associate pastor and his wife had their third child when their two other kids were teenagers. Both were sons and the third one was supposed to be a girl. In fact, the doctor insisted that the baby was a girl. They even bought girl baby clothes and had most of the baby stuff monogrammed. Then the day came, they went to the hospital, the delivery was going good and and out comes a healthy baby… BOY! Awkward. 😬 The next Sunday the senior pastor mentioned it in his sermon saying “He was probably the only kid at the hospital with no name and nothing to wear.” We all got a laugh out of that. That kid is six now.

[@tsgrandma9837]

The doctor told my husband and I we were having a girl. So we choose the name Anna Marie, decorated the nursey with little pink roses wallpaper, had pretty little dresses hanging in the closet and all baby girl clothes and shoes. My Mom decides to buy a few neutral baby clothes, just in case. I had to go back into the hospital a week before going into labor, (very high risk pregnancy and was in & out of the hospital a lot), a tech came in to do an ultrasound and said congrats on your son. The tech was right.

[@beastmaster0934]

That happened to my oldest cousin. My aunt and uncle were expecting a girl, and everyone got bright pink baby stuff. And then my first cousin was born. And he was a boy.

[@Rosewolf29]

"I may do some cussing." "That's ok you won't offend me." proceeds to scream "owie!" 😂😂I died at that one. A friend of mine is a midwife, marine corp nurse, and a mother herself. She's got some good stories of people reacting to needing surgery, pain, or delivering a baby. Personal favorite midwife story: sweet southern woman comes in, heavily pregnant, and about ready to delivery the baby with her three young kids all under the age of 5, youngest was probably 13-14 months old, and she says in that sweet southern drawl: "baby's coming, but I can't leave the kids alone, their's dad's---Jesus f*cking christ, get out of me you little demon!!!" and proceeds to deliver the baby in the waiting room. the oldest took the younger two to find "a magical unicorn I saw, it went this way!!" runs off down the hall with them right as the mom screams. 😂😂😂not sure if they heard her or just didn't know what she was saying. side note, I think friend said the dad was military and deployed, had been for 8 months and was due back the next day.

[@olivierplante361]

Her: It must be a tumor! Me: In what world does a body naturally expulse a freaking tumor! Damn it's crazy how logic's sometimes just throw out the window.

[@stellaleicht4035]

Denial is one hell of a drug

[@Nevertoleave]

Lol, yeah. Women being in labour suddenly going, I can’t do this and trying to leave is surprising common. Like, sure, that’s how that works. You know I’m in labour but this just doesn’t work for me right now so let’s pause this and try again another day

[@chinookh4713]

Well I mean it a complete shcok she having a kid in the first place

[@timothymckeown2297]

One story my mother kept telling me about how my sister was born in the ambulance outside the hospital, apparently she shouted, "something's gone pop!"

[@althealee9375]

One of my coworkers told me that another woman giving birth in the room shouted “I’M GONNA SHIT!!” and the “shit” was her child

[@beastmaster0934]

If I was a doctor in that room, I’d try my hardest not to laugh my ass off xD

[@charlotteinnocent8752]

Yeah the midwives for my first child kept saying "The head has crowned would you like to touch the head?" NO I DID NOT. I kept saying "When do I push again?" instead as I was in a HUGE amount of pain. Finally, I reached over and tapped the head and said "There! I touched it! Okay?!" At least they stopped bothering me!

[@Cats_eattacos]

If I had to feel a child coming out of me I would vomit, thats not cutesy at all, sorry they were so stubborn about it.

[@charlotteinnocent8752]

@@Cats_eattacos I found out later that they were trying to prevent me pushing too soon so that I wouldn't tear. But honestly, the way they did!

[@dude988]

@@charlotteinnocent8752 How about 'hey, you need to stop pushing for a moment' instead of 'touch the human that is about to leave your body'.

[@charlotteinnocent8752]

@@dude988 I know. I got the impression there are women out there who find this wholesome and a way to get in touch with the child they are about to give birth to and all that. Me, I was in deep agony and I pride myself I didn't punch a nurse...

[@OklaCrazyChick]

In my first labor, I'd been in labor 18 hours. During that time I couldn't eat... I was starving. While pushing, the dinner plates were being passed out & I could hear the cart they bring the trays on & I was begging everyone in the room to not let them pass me up.... I didn't get a dinner tray....🤬 As soon as our daughter was born, I had my husband run to Wendy's & get me a spicy chicken sandwich... 2nd labor I had 3 epidurals & none took... I was definitely one of the "I can't do this!" people.... I was kinda right🤷‍♀️ My body did it, but I was checked out. Went into cardiac arrest. Luckily after nearly 10 minutes I was brought back. First words after I woke up was, "Whose baby is crying? "... (Lack of oxygen messed up my memory pretty good. )

[@glamourchick21]

Even if not particularly chunky, a woman can hide or not know about a pregnancy right up to delivery if she just has a particular body type. A friend of mine was able to hide her pregnancy simply because she is tall and has a broad frame. Her bump just looked like she had put on a little belly fat. Even she didn't realize it until she was seven months gone.

[@adelerodriguez2432]

Someone in my neighborhood didn't know she was pregnant til her 8th month. She was heavy and had what she thought were menstrual periods. She went to her doctor for another reason and found out she was pregnant.

[@Rythers_]

When my mom had my older brothers, twins, she had given birth to one and mid second child crowning, she yells “I’m not ready for Lego’s in my feet!!!” 😂

[@Bxll_Bxll]

Did she get legos in her feet?

[@Rythers_]

@@Bxll_Bxll Surprisingly not till I came about 20 years later!

[@Bxll_Bxll]

@@Rythers_ she had 20 years to brace herself then I hope your mom is fine now and free from Lego feet

[@Rythers_]

@@Bxll_Bxll Not quite! My niece lives with us, and plays with legos, just last night she stepped on one. 🤣

[@Bxll_Bxll]

@@Rythers_ My mom will never be free from legos until my little brother goes to uni… Currently he’s in grade 1

[@CakeofRage]

re: all the "i changed my mind; i wanna go home" shock does wild things man

[@newabbmantics]

6:56 This happens because your skull have many different pieces when your born, and if you don’t have a C-section then you’re bound to have a baby with a possible misshapen head. Don’t worry it reverts back to normal.

[@CrazyKoala1990]

"ALLEGEDLY" My mum was halfway through labour with my youngest brother (the biggest born btw) and goes "F this, I'm going home" and tried to get up to leave 🤣 they both fine now haha

[@nialeemaria]

My husband and the doctor just stood at the end of the bed with their arms folded, talking about basketball, and glancing down after every push to see if it was time to catch the baby yet. You'd think that I’d be annoyed, but I was actually happy to feel ignored. By that point I’d had too much attention. I just wanted my dignity back, and not being told when topush gave me control of the situation.

[@Jerry_the_Head]

As my mom was birthing my older brother, she had songs from both the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" soundtrack and the "The Phantom Of The Opera" soundtrack. Her screams were so bad that the nurses were telling her to calm down because she was scaring other patients in that exact hospital with her birthing labor screams. The funniest part of it all took place in the hospital waiting room; my grandpa and my uncle sat outside in that waiting room, and as the music (songs from Horror musical soundtracks) was playing while my mom was shrieking her head off while birthing my older brother, my grandpa and my uncle heard the ruckus. And my grandpa turned over to my uncle and told him; "That's the Devil's child being born."

[@VincentValentine33]

When I was in labor with my son, my sister comes in the room, pokes my belly and says "it's time to come out now." I laughed and at that instant, my water broke. My husband comes in and I tell him...he runs back out of the room screaming "NURSE!!!!"

[@shadowwally]

My teacher told us that he kept his car full while his wife was in labor, so a little bit of gas used, filled up, the funniest part was that when his wife was in labor he left his car running in the parking lot for hours without it getting stolen

[@melodymartin222]

When I gave birth I groaned "Oh, F**k!' " My doctor quipped, "No, that's how you got here."

[@adelerodriguez2432]

That doctor had a good sense of humor.

[@DeidresStuff]

I was being wheeled into the operating room for an emergency c-section and changed my mind. The anesthesiologist was lovely and calmed me down.

[@peggyjones9080]

I was fine until I herd the woman in the next room start screeeeeming. So I started putting my stuff back in my bag n told the nurse I changed my mind, I don't want to do this. Yeah,that's not how this is going to go. Very beautiful daughtor 35 years old now.💕

[@danabuck6461]

So, when I had my first child at 25, I had NEVER dropped the f bomb. Prior to getting an epidural, my husband moved my hand from where I had it draped over the rail...the metal was cold and I was using it as a distraction. I told him to get the eff away from me and get the effing anesthesiologist NOW! The nurse cracked up big time!

[@icouldjustscream]

One woman started singing "Burning ring of fire" .

[@Nurichiri]

This was after my epidural kicked it. One of the machines I was hooked up to measured contractions and I was mesmerized by it. I was making running commentary. "Ooh, wow. that one would have hurt. Woah, did you see that?"

[@kaylabrownell1268]

My friend kept banshee screeching, "IT'S NOT A BABY, I'M SH!TTING!!!!" Couple pushes later baby Theo was born and I'm an honorary Auntie because as how she says, "You didn't laugh or try to look if I was indeed taking a dump."

[@audra.l.p3658]

As a nursing student looking to go into this kind of field, I look forward to collecting stories like this!

[@markrowland1366]

I held the New Zealand birth weight record, 17 pounds, for to thirty six years. Could not do a Cesarean as third most uncommon blood group. Third delivery so only died a little.

[@ednabarela485]

In 1974 I was giving a drug in the delivery room it’s what they call a twilight birth one minute your wide awake and the next thing you know you don’t remember what happened 😳 I heard this strange loud noise so I asked the nurse why was the 🐱 cat in the delivery room she said that was my baby 🤷‍♀️

[@tats2059]

The dermatologist that pierced my ear lobe went "oops". It's been 5 months and that sucker is still heeling, while its twin is happy as can be

[@Fiona2254]

For our first one I started talking in Spanish. Husband had to translate for the nurses. To be honest I had told the doc I wanted to try drug free and they denied meds when I asked. I did say TRY TO not te be forced. And in the end I was induced so pain went from 0 to 1000 I’m a few seconds so my brain couldn’t deal with both the pain and English.

[@nialeemaria]

I live in rural Idaho, 90 minutes from the nearest city. A lot of my friends give birth at home with midwives. The women like me who need to see an OBGYN have to make that 3 hourround trip every appointment and then top it off with doing it while in labor. My doctor insists that none of the “Prairie Ladies” (we live in a prairie in the moutains, it's idllyic) have arrived “too late,” but I have at least two friends who were ready to push upon arrival and missed out on their planned pain meds. I'm expecting #3 in September. Just glad it's not another winter baby (Dec & Feb). Picture it: Steep mountain pass with blizzard conditions, contractions every 2-3 minutes, and zero cell reception. I am seriously considering taking out an Air BnB at 39 weeks.

[@autodogdact3313]

I was born in 1958, so I don't know what drugs they used, but my mom thought the doctor and nurses were singing, "Uncle Harry's Not a Missionary Anymore" a Noel Coward song. I did always think she would have liked life to be a musical where people would randomly burst into song.

[@PincheBecky0Effsgiven]

My friend yelled at me don't cut his wee wee!! I went to the hospital to support a friend because her son's father was out of town. As soon as I arrived she said to get the nurse I have to poop. A nurse runs in and tells her the baby is crowning and not to push. Sorry lady but this baby is not holding. I tell her to push, boom 1 push and the baby was out. An intern managed to run in and literally catch the baby. I'm asked if I wanted to cut the cord, l was still trying to process the fact that I just helped deliver a baby. I got the scissors and asked where do I cut? She yelled make sure it's the right thing, don't cut his wee wee. We still joke about it 14 years later.

[@medwardl]

I was born on Superbowl Sunday. As you might expect, my mom had a hard time getting the doctor to come in to deliver because he wanted to watch the game. I'm surprised there aren't any threats of do it yourself vasectomy stories.

[@exiledadrian103]

I was expecting the doc to catch you like a football.

[@Starchild42]

LOLOL to the mom who said that the baby needed to be awesome bc it hurt to pop him out😂😂😂😂

[@jessicajayes8326]

Heard of one woman in labor complaining the nurses didn't do the epidural right. They disagreed and she then GOT UP and WALKED HERSELF TO THE TOILET! If the epidural is done correctly, she shouldn't have been able to stand! Idiots!

[@I-Love-Donuts]

When I was born, both my mom and I almost died. Here’s some context: My mom’s umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, choking me. And since my mom was pretty old at the time she gave birth to me, she was pretty burnt out and stressed. When she found out her umbilical cord was choking me, she passed out. The doctors called for an emergency c-section, and continued to do the operation.

[@amethyst1062]

I…might not give birth in my early forties like my dad who had me at 40 Im firstborn👉🐯👈

[@amethyst1062]

No he didn’t give birth

[@binaway]

At the birth of his first child the nurse asked my cousin if he had ever been in a hospital theater before. "Not as a spectator" is apparently not an acceptable answer.

[@shineyluna1268]

For a lot of home births eating during early labor (before the real pain si kness kicks in) is actually not all that bad, the only reason you're not meant to eat during labor is that *IF* you need to be put under for a C section you'll asphyxiate

[@shellyfegter8688]

ROFL! After 3 kids, 36 hours of labor with my 1st, 2 c-sections with the other 2, thank you for this!! absolutely hilarious!! Love your videos!

[@BrokenAngel2480]

My dad was having a heart attack and my mom had to stop for gas. He lived 30 more years. Good times!

[@makotokaiser3868]

MY MOM'S PREGNANCY/BIRTH STORY WITH ME IS SHE HAD A LOT OF COFFEE CRAVINGS AND WOULD WALK TO THE TRUCK STOP EVERY NIGHT HOLDING MY OLDER BROTHER (ABOUT 2 YEARS OLD AT THE TIME) THROUGH OUT HER WHOLE PREGNANCY. GOT INTO MULTIPLE ACCIDENTS RANGING FROM FALLING TO CAR CRASHES, ONE CRASH THAT BARELY MISSED ME BY A FEW CENTIMETERS AND THE DOCTORS NOT BELIEVING MY MOM WHO KEPT SCREAMING THEM "CHECK MY BABY" AND TELLING HER "YOUR NOT PREGNANT" WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR MY MOM'S C-SECTION THE DOCTORS STOPPED TO QUESTION HER IF SHE HURT HER SELF CAUSE THERE WAS A RED LIQUID ON HER NECK, SHE HAD JUST EATEN A JELLY DOUGHNUT AND IT SQUIRTED ALL OVER HER. 😂

[@sharissaconnell]

When I was born in late Sept 1990 I was a born a Ginger and was the spitting image of my dad's mom who died in 1989.. one look my dad was like nope not mine and my uncle his brother was like dumbass our mom had red hair. After that moment he took one more look at me and left the hospital..... Never knew what happened to him

[@laurallewien2165]

When the Patosin kicked in I screamed, "I want Morphine!" and "You are never touching me again!"

[@JGTenelux1408]

Fun fact, before my mom gave birth to our baby sister, my dad brought her some taco bell, right when she was in labor. still makes me smile thinking about it.

[@angelamurray2725]

A friend looked away when his kid was pulled out and saw the placenta being removed and said “I’ll still love you” 😂

[@oliviastreich1374]

A lot of laboring moms go through a phase of labor where they want to go hide and leave and be alone, it’s an instinct, if you feel that you are in slight fight mode and your body is literally trying to hide to give birth.

[@jessicamurillo7914]

My mom had my younger brother 3 days before her due date because he was huge. He’s was a little over 10lbs at birth and her veins were popping because of how hard she was pushing. Out of 4 kid’s, he was the worst.

[@MrSluFa]

“GET BETTER ICE CHIPS” -👹

[@bethanysmith694]

Ha! My poor hubby. I had a hold so tight on his t-shirt that it was permanently misshaped and had to be tossed. I also asked for a drink of water. He ran over to the sink filled the cup and ran back. I screamed why did you give me hot water? Apparently one of the staff had washed their hands and there was still hot water in the tap. I only wanted my hubby with me in the delivery room and there was a lot of staff too. Anyway my family was in the hall listening to everything. They heard the hot water thing. While hearing a family down the hall yell “I AM PUSHING MOTHER!!!!!” Safe to say it’s a good thing it was only hubby in room with me.

[@CultOfTheTriangle]

when I was born my mom had been in labor for a while and pushed for 3 hours (I think) I as 8. something pounds and tore her apart, she had to get stiches. before then when she started feeling the contractions and told my dad, when he asked how she was sure it wasn't a false alarm, she responded, "because this HURTS" my dad promptly took her to the hospital

[@MandieKearns-Moore]

So we're watching the movie dogma in my room and I've got my mom my brother's a couple few friends maybe four or five and a nurse came in to ask us to calm down we were too loud. For the first time ever everyone shut up all at once. That also happened to be the exact moment Bethany screams "no one is fucking me" at top volume. The look on the nurse's face was priceless!!!

[@MultiFandomMadness-vj6ke]

My mom laughed me out of her literally. the doctor said "3, 2, 1 PUSH" my dad said "3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF" and I was born exactly 5:59

[@tamakunminnip2117]

I got 2 about my mom, who birthed 7 babies (only 6 made it to adulthood) durring labor on baby number 4 (1 of my older sisters) a nurse told my mom 'oh it doesn't hurt that bad', mind you my mom had already had 3 other births at that point, my mom tried to punch the nurse (my mom was only 4 foot 11 inches) my dad stepped between them and ended up with a softball sized bruise on his chest. Durring the birth of baby 6 (the older of my 2 younger brothers) the staff had somehow left the intercom system on hooked up to her room and my mom was swearing like a sailor, the best part is it was a catholic hospital.

[@adelerodriguez2432]

Must've been hysterical!

[@tamakunminnip2117]

@adelerodriguez2432 Well, my mom and dad would laugh every time they told those stories, especially the Catholic Hospital story.

[@ramonar6180]

When my nephew was born he was very pink & had bright red hair & my brother came out & said he looks like a lit match. When I was in labor for my second daughter & I was crying. The nurse asked if I was scared? No. Are you in pain? No. She asked what was wrong? I said I miss my little girl. My mother wouldn't let me stay with my daughter until she finished her breakfast & it upset me.

[@adelerodriguez2432]

When my SIL had my nephew she and my brother dropped their daughter off at another brother's house. My niece was clingy and wanted her mother to comb her hair or something. My SIL was in labor and wanted to just get the hell out of there and to the hospital.

[@bork6996]

i just realized i've been watching "am i the GENIUS" while thinking i was watching "am i the jerk" and i dont even care cause these stories be funny as hell

[@kimberleeroberts9873]

1:33 I wouldn’t want to hear the person delivering my baby say “Whoops.”

[@arlenedavis5770]

Me: "It's official,

[@Jen-xl9ph]

When I was born, my doctor missed my birth. He was so excited too since it would have been his first birth. (He wasn’t an ob-gyn or something. Don't remember what type he was) He misjudged how long my mom’s labor would be. She just was admitted and I was her first child. He went home to eat and shower, but barely walked into the door before turning around. A nurse was the one to coach my mom and catch me. Mom admitted later on she was glad it went down that way (at the time, not so much) because years later he was found guilty of selling drugs/ writing prescriptions for sex, some being minors.

[@adelerodriguez2432]

Holy moley! Things happen for a reason.

[@wolfieisacat13]

you know what, someone remind me that when i have kids and the babies almost out, to say "never mind, i changed my mind, can we do this later instead?"

[@alfonsoroneras7821]

Imagine someone being like: Goddamn, this is hard!!!

[@feralbluee]

this guy is great at reading these. he’s got to be an actor. :) 🎭🎤 Thank you so much for hiring a real person fir this. :) 🌹🌱. i HATE the robot voices. especially when they stop before the sentence is over or emphasize completely the wring word! i’d really rather have a normal person with a good voice. you don’t need an actor, but it’s good when you do. 🐶 😋

[@Alexandra-bp6cu]

For my little sister her whole birth is hilarious. My mom had to have c-sections for me and my sisters. First off my cousin who was 18 at the time was the one that had to drop her off at the hospital. Barely slows the car down and only needed to hear my mom say once that she didn’t need to come in before she zoomed off. Mom also showed up late for the appointment because it was scheduled during her soap opera. The nurses asked my mom to catch them up on the show. This was back in the 90s. When my dad got there he said OK, I’m in between two patients (he was a dentist) it’s my lunch break. I haven’t eaten yet. Let’s get this over with. The doctor delivering my sister was friends with my dad and asked what he was going to eat? When my dad told him he said, I know a great place. Let’s finish this up and go eat. The doctor had a nurse sew up my mom so they could get burgers.

[@stadot1427]

These are hilarious, but the disturbing one was the amnio test. You don't generally get an amnio test unless there is a serious concern because there is risk in having the procedure done. So the fact that they didn't get accurate results from an important enough test to risk the danger is problematic.

[@feralbluee]

it’s not that dangerous! just make sure you have a good doctor!!! i had one!

[@rinistephenson5550]

2-4% miscarriage rate from an amniocentesis; March of Dimes says 0.5%. I'm not risking my baby!

[@MamiTT237]

Not me but my ex husband on the way to the hospital while I’m having a contraction… “do you mind if I stop to get some breakfast!” 😂😂😂

[@mr.banana7593]

Bro I just enter KZbin and see this 11 SECONDS AGO!!!

[@aislebasile]

My sister's water broke after her husband had a few beers. Lol. She had to drop her oldest at the sitter, and drive to the hospital. And they got pulled over on the way. Hahaha. I was dying when she told me, but she told the cop she was in labor and he let her go, but followed her to the hospital a few blocks away to make sure she got there safe. Gave her a nod as she went in and left.

[@barrios67]

12:55 Oh God that killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@trevormillar1576]

"Congratulations! You are fully dilated! You may now give birth!" "That's what I'm TRYING to do, you moron!" "Sorry! This is not a dignified situation for a Klingon warrior!" "IT'S NOT MUCH FUN FOR ME EITHER!" - Exchange between Worf and Keiko O'brien - ST:TNG.

[@JamesD92763]

My son looked like Yoda.....and my ex-wife still doesn't think it's funny

[@sandrakennedy4877]

My Doctor came in wearing his at home farm outfit including hat, boots and jeans, with a little blood on it, Turns out he had just delivered a calf, female, then been called in in an emergency, 50 minute labor, one month early, he just looked at my Husband who he had not met and went "howdy" is it a heifer or a bull?" Rofl and I live in Australia.

[@TfMG539]

Well... My mom said I peed on the doctor, and it was a full-on pee... No, not on the shirt, right in the face and mouth; the mask did help

[@cindyhoomalu1566]

My baby cousin, who is now surgeon, was born with bright red hair. My aunt’s husband and mother-in-law were in the room, and MIL had been gray since before she met her. Apparently she really disliked the idea of red hair and with a horrified facial expression insisted that it had to be blood. Her sweet MIL stepped forward and said something like, “Well, if you look real close, some of my hair underneath is still red.” There were 6 grandchildren for the sweet lady, but baby Courtney (only child for her dad) was the only one with red hair. They had the most special bond!

[@blackshoe8811]

Midwife: Here comes the head, now push. Wife: Fuck the head!!! Get this thing outta me!!!! Two years later she wanted another child.

[@skootergirl22]

I was told by my mother that whist she was having a C section with ether my sister or I (18 months age gap I'm the oldest) she started laughing at my father because the blue cap they gave him was too small for his head he does have a big forehead that my sister inherited from him. Luckily for me I look more like my mother

[@robinhoogewerf6712]

(30 years ago) Two days before our daughter was born my hubby's Aunt said for the umpteenth time I was having a boy. I felt in my heart it was a girl. My hubby asked if she wanted to wager on it. They bet $1 in the gender of our child. When the Dr said it's a girl! My first words were "AUNT SYLVIA OWES YOU A DOLLAR!" Later that day his aunt paid up and said "I don't want to hear anymore about it. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 She never tried to guess my other babies' s gender 😂🤣😂

[@penumbra2247]

when my brother was born i got mad cause i wanted a sister. 10 years later i have two brothers.

[@novabrilliant4510]

15 minutes of labor? I was in labor for 36 hours with my son. Decided after that one kid was enough

[@deannarounds3295]

I heard the comedian Rita Rudner describe a 36 hour labor for a friend of hers and she frankly I do not want to do something that feels good for 36 hours! Bless you and I do not blame you one bit for only having one!

[@EddieTruckingAdventures]

A tongue is a muscle which is why they heal

[@trevormillar1576]

"I'M HAVING YOU FUCKING VASECTOMISED!"

[@skibbledebabble1853]

when i was born i was facing sunny side up which made it hard for my mom to give birth

[@frodoamadeusgobel9749]

I love the young dad going into football position. That is to sweet. As to problems with No1. While giving birth to no2 they placed a young midwife in training with me for the whole time. I was like Kids are cool at the start up to never do this it is aweful, sex is not so good a thing anyways and this just sucks.... to why are you two? You did not tell me you are twins.... Then I heard her at the door screaming, she halucinates were is the fucking anästhesia? Two hours later my daughter was not even full out off me already screaming and not stopping until my midwife got her on my belly and I was singing to her while she was crawling to the milk bar. For the next 9 month she was screaming bloody murder if not attached to me in what way ever or to her 3 year older brother. From the moment she could sit, crawl and say the first words she was a calm angel. She turns 14 these days. Calm, collected girl but one look into her eyes and you know - I do not want to be her enemy. ( that was what her teacher told me 1 year ago) well. I am good with that.

[@yvonnetruelove2270]

My husband and I are gamers and met on EverQuest. When I was giving birth, each time a contraction began I’d yell, “Incoming!” 🤣😂

[@catherinemarsh6361]

When I was giving birth they were doing the epsiotomy. I yelled give me that knive I am going to castrate that sob.the nursefussed atme saying we don't talk to our Dr like that. My sister who was my birth coach who I was talking about. Well Kevin of course. My sister cleared it and told them Kevin was the father they were all laughing.

[@LegendStormcrow]

My wife wanted me to hold her hand. Asked sweetly. I knew better

[@Astrolionking]

“Omg my daughter has a penis!” Gender is a construct! Might as well!

[@andreapadilla2185]

5 is best/strangest wingman ever!

[@_RabidChicken956_2]

Gotta love these videos

[@dancingwiththedogsdj]

Ya know the one with the ex still in the labor area.... who says he was even the dad? I mean, me and my ex-wife basically went through something similar.... could have just been supportive and filling the spot until her new hubby arrived from work (I learned the first time not to ask wife if she would be ok while I took a break to go grab a twix from the vending machine...oh she was mad and it took me a bit to figure out why and I felt bad because I was finishing off the last bite and it was apparent I hadn't just gone through 1 single purchase while I was out of the room.... I mean, I was so stressed, I forgot her fav snack was Twix and she was unable to have any and she just mentioned being hungry when I bounced out for my snack)..... I still apologize 25+ yrs later... we'd already figured this out with our first one and you just help the other get through it if possible. I make sure the new hubby knows she might be craving a twix and let me know how everything goes. Please get some rest, glad I could help and let me know what you have..... 💩

[@greenaum]

Any chance you could put in the credits what the game being played is? I'd like to know.

[@tiggercampbell6198]

after 3 days of labor with my first bb..I kept telling the nurse..I don't want to do this anymore..I want to go home now..can I go home now?