Does Annie Grace think AA is wrong?

Annie Grace, author of This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment, is answering reader questions. Today a reader asks - Does Annie Grace think AA is wrong?
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[@stephenfurlong7505]

I don't want a fear based recovery or way of living. Telling me I have a disease or an illness just doesn't work for me. I tried AA for years, in and out, worked the steps over and over and never had peace of mind... Always felt uncomfortable, because of that intransigence to other ways of living. I don't knock it because I've seen it work for others. Today I am free. I've been called a dry drunk by certain people in AA, but I'm happy and kind to myself... Because I have positive and nurturing things in my daily life. This peace has come through self love and compassion for others... And good therapy! I have found what works for me through trial and error. Today I am free , because I choose to be. 💚

[@celesterosenrooney2610]

Yes snd name calling like “dry drunk “ once again is hurtful and feels like someone is trying to throw you off. Don’t let the mind chatter follow you anymore. I hear it too! AA in and out 30 years.

[@ThisNakedMind]

Finding what works for us as individuals is just so important!

[@richmorrow8750]

The AA program is not fear based, although some of the members come across that way... It takes a bit of discernment to understand this program... The program is perfect, the people in it are not...

[@katherinechase3674]

@@richmorrow8750 the program was put forth by people, and, at best, needs to move into this century and modern medicine-

[@DUSTYSORG]

I don’t know what this is all about but alcoholism is very real and very deadly, I met someone who told me about Annie Grace and they were extremely negative about AA, which being sober in AA for 17 years and has saved my life, really concerned me. AA is based on attraction NOT promotion,, if you’re following Annie and getting a discouraging view of AA I highly suggest you to try a few different meetings yourself before judgement. AA is a beautiful program designed to help another person stay sober one day at a time. Some jus cannot stop drinking, no matter what and AA has been a savior to many lives including myself. In any case, whatever keeps you sober, growing and glowing is wonderful. Congratulations to anyone recovering from a hopeless state of mind and finding peace and love within. Bless, Dusty

[@picibibe]

Thank you for this video Annie. I read your book in 2020 and I quit alcohol for 6 months straight away, but afterwards I went back to moderate drinking with often taking a month or two sober, but mostly because the journey of being sober felt lonely with everyone else around me still drinking. I recently had a blackout experience at my best friends surprise proposal, and felt really ashamed of myself so went to my first ever AA meeting. I am so in awe about the community aspect of it, but I just couldn't say that I am an alcoholic - it felt wrong to affirm something so negative on a daily basis and my potential sponsor didn't understand when I tried explaining that I'd prefer starting my shares with saying "I'm a sober person". Finding your video right now was helpful to reassure me in my gut feeling, that I want to focus on the positive, that's how I quit for the first time. It would be very helpful to find likeminded people, as I feel many times people go back to drinking for social reasons, and probably the most powerful thing about AA is the community and accountability.

[@ThisNakedMind]

Finding your truths and what works for you is what is most important on this journey. Not which rules you follow or methodology you subscribe to! Keep being curious!

[@marilinwisbey7403]

Sorry, but I find most old timers ,are addicted to AA, they live in fear have to ask their sponsors, for permission cos of boundaries, a programme for in my opinion based on selflessness.

[@mrsrae3388]

My daughter and I went to an Alonon meeting to help her deal with her alcoholic in laws and it was so depressing that by the time we left we both felt like we needed a drink. And she’s a total non drinker. It was crazy depressing and a downer. We never went back so I can’t imagine how sad an AA meeting would make us.

[@celesterosenrooney2610]

I’d be very triggered by stories snd moody people

[@ThisNakedMind]

SMART Recovery has a family program as well that might be more her speed.

[@robertshipley6990]

I couldn't wait to drink after meetings. AA is horrible

[@Janopooh]

Whatever works for you to regain yourself and your life is good enough

[@ThisNakedMind]

Agreed!

[@AshA-mw3xl]

Annie, I've said it before and I'll gladly say it again, your book saved my life!! I can't thank you enough.

[@ThisNakedMind]

Honored and humbled!

[@GeraldeneCorder1]

AA has helped millions of people all over the world - for some people who have longterm sobriety it was the only option available back in the day! Just because someone went to AA does NOT mean that they had a rock bottom - or were 24/7 drinkers! Today there are wonderful new lighter ways to stop drinking - thanks to you and so many other people. You are really making a difference ....

[@ThisNakedMind]

Thank you!

[@katherinechase3674]

I believe it is important to note that AA has harmed many people as well, and been neutral for others. 13th Stepping (sexual power imbalances), sponsors, (most of which have no medical training), playing doctor- suggesting people get "must" off their prescribed medications before they can claim true "sobriety." There is a lack of separation of church and state for court ordered people, nor is AA run by any professional. They state many erroneous, out of date, beliefs that are not scientifically sound. AA is known for being thought of best for "true" alcoholics. They define one camp being normal people, the other alcoholics- with no good measure in the middle- For me, the incredibly low success rate on a statistical levels contradicts their claims of success. After attending AA for one year, the success rate is 6%. It 5% who do nothing at all. Success is rigidly defined as complete abstinence- ugh!

[@tjfSIM]

I think you have done a wonderful thing with the Alcohol Experiment, by bridging that gap and encouraging people to assess and understand their own relationship with alcohol, without that making it into a shameful or stigmatised 'threshold'. I totally get what you're saying about the word 'alcoholic' in that encourages people to draw an imaginary line in the sand that really has no meaning. Personally I've never liked the idea of A-A. I'll admit that I have not been to one of their meetings, but the impression I have is that it's somewhat 'evangelical' and binary in its methods, rather than empowering. If it works for some people then that's great, but for me the alcohol experiment feels like a much more intelligent and rational way to approach it. And the real testament to that was that I couldn't wait to tell everyone about it once I'd started watching your videos and reading your book, and all the interesting things I'd learned from them. I can't imagine feeling the same way about attending A-A meetings. I really think more doctors and therapists should be referring people to programmes like the Alcohol Experiment.

[@ThisNakedMind]

Thank you!

[@robertshipley6990]

@@ThisNakedMind I agree. Thank you

[@celesterosenrooney2610]

Hi Annie! I’m a follower of yours! Just finished 100 days. I’ve always felt I had an obsession with alcohol but it doesn’t make me an alcoholic physically as AA suggests. If I start snd stop it confuses the idea of it being a disease which is inconsistent with the acts. Kindness 1 st is best methodology

[@ThisNakedMind]

Compassion and grace all the way!

[@mr.growth1357]

Hey Anne, Firstly, I just want to say that I am so taken by your honesty, courage, relatability, and humility. It really shines through! I have not read your book, but from what I understand it is similar to Alan Carr's Easyway method. Here's my story. I have been suffering from porn/masturbation/orgasm addiction (PMO) for around 20 years. I tried SA for a while and all sorts of other strategies like online forums and other programs. Nothing worked. I vaguely knew about the dopamine rush and what PMO does to the brain but insisted on seeing it as a deep-seated emotional/spiritual issue with far deeper implications about my life in general. I began reading a hackbook based on the Easyway method (they don't currently treat this particular issue but a sales rep said they are looking into it) around three weeks ago. I read a tiny bit every night because I didn't want it to end - and just finished, as well as re-started, the book this morning. I'm not sure exactly what to attribute this to - whether the stage in my life, this particular presentation of ideas, my level of frustration, or a combination of all - but I am finally, unequivocally FREE. I have never felt this way in my life (even with long "streaks" or periods of "sobriety"). This book has allowed me to see PMO for what it actually - a poison that gives me nothing. I genuinely feel, for the first time in my life, that I am not giving anything up by quitting - on the contrary! My overall quality of living has improved an enormous amount. I would love to hear your thoughts on the following topic. (It was my curiosity about the matter that brought me here, gotta love the internet). Obviously, with so many programs out there treating this addiction (and I do believe it's an addiction and - in many cases - a compulsion), it's pretty bizarre that a tiny, free E-book could simply change the game in such a radical way. I have many friends in the 12-Step program who are convinced that the only way to truly resolve this issue is by doing intense spiritual and self-development work - to uproot the obsession with ego that SA believes sits at the core of addiction. Now let me be clear - I think the 12 Steps are great and useful. I also think they are intuitive, that every religious/spiritual program contains elements of them, and that they are useful to everyone. But after reading this book and quitting so easily (granted its been less than a month and I may well be getting ahead of myself here, but I just feel it is truly different this time, I can't explain it), I look at these people in pity. I want to shake them and yell, "You aren't insane. You shouldn't label yourself an "addict for life". You don't need to obsessively go to meetings (that can themselves become a different kind of addiction) in the fear that the moment you stop "working the program" you will relapse. There is an easier way!" The S Anon program seems to be of the opinion that PMO is indicative of a deeper issue the 12 Steps alone can help solve. Based on the approach in the book I read - which I believe is your approach as well - I now feel strongly that PMO is an independent chemical addiction in the brain that can be resolved by understanding its nature and thus undoing the brainwashing. Then, one will find that many of the issues that come up in 12 Step inventories are only effects of having been addicted to PMO, and will be able to use the rest of the steps to further work on self-development - as I think every person should. I really appreciated this video, and like I said above, I also see the benefits in some of the steps, but can people like you and me who have had such radical shifts in such a painless, easy, nondramatic, non-obsessive way simply sit back and accept the reality that AA is still seen by so many as the ONLY WAY? Would you feel uncomfortable approaching someone sober in AA who the program was working for and share what you have found - with the intention of alerting them to the negatives of AA (negative self-labeling, blowing problem way out of proportion (dramatizing), cultlike aspects of the program (evidenced in the actions of those who threatened you), time wasted on endless meetings etc.)? If so, why? If we have indeed found a better way, a simpler way, a lighter, easier, saner way, why shouldn't we want to shout it from the rooftops and spare people the unhealthiness I believe is embodied in the AA methodology? Sorry for rambling, but I would love your insight into this. Thank you again for being an inspiration and sharing your story and knowledge with the world!

[@ThisNakedMind]

I think we need to accept that different modalities work for different people and it is natural to assume that what worked best for you is the way. We become protective of the things we believe in.

[@katherinechase3674]

Monica Richardson's documentary, "The 13th Step" does a good job of exposing problems in AA. She was a member for many years. AA is not my cup of tea by any stretch of the imagination.

[@ThisNakedMind]

I'll check it out!

[@ashleys6013]

I love you Annie! I am so grateful for This Naked Mind. If it weren’t for your program I’d still be drinking because I was not going to go back to AA. In AA I was taught I wasn’t “normal” and my entire sobriety I WANED to drink! 4 years in AA then 9 years drinking after until I found you. Now I know that I am normal and that alcohol is doing what it was designed to do to me. With your program I don’t want to drink. The desire is gone. I don’t HAVE to drink. Thank you Annie!!

[@ThisNakedMind]

So glad you found TNM and your freedom! 💜

[@tylerhoneycutt4862]

I like that you dont bash the AA program. I will say from my experience claiming to be "alcoholic" its similar to people going to church and saying they are sinners in my opinion. Its an affront to the ego i think....like its a label...but to me its a way of saying...i am human. I am a work in progress and i am ALSO recovered and restored to sanity if i do a few simple things ..i do dislike the whole bigger dick contest of labeling people as REAL alcoholics or not. I have been sober 10 and half years and i am happy for my sobriety. GOOD FOR YOU AND I WISH YOU MANY MORE YEARS OF GROWTH and ABUNDANCE!

[@ThisNakedMind]

Same to you my friend!

[@weinerwagon6781]

Reading your book Annie Grace and LOVING it!! I am for “whatever works” but for me....I read daily and watch videos. Keep God close and pray A LOT. I’m feeling so good AND losing weight! Yay! Thank you !!

[@ThisNakedMind]

Awesome! Thank you!

[@jordythefilmmaker317]

I just LOVE Annie's outlook. (And BTW the AA meetings I went to - 2 or 3 of them, years ago, and in support of a friend - WERE quite depressing.) in this video, she really nails it for me at 8:30 and again at 12:30.

[@ThisNakedMind]

So glad it resonated with you!

[@cfaul1985]

Hey Annie I'm doing the 30 day challenge, and just wanted to say thank you. This is my second attempt to change my relationship with Alcohol since discovering TNM a few years back, but this time things are really resonating with me. I think the language and the approach with which one approaches the very sensitive topic of Alcohol use is everything. I'm the brother & son of two family members in AA, and they love it, but I also know their process is not really one that fits my personal journey. I especially connect with the idea that we "don't have to hit rock bottom to choose to stop drinking". I'm only a week in, but already I can feel a shift. I'm not sad I can't drink, I'm actually excited I "don't have to".

[@ThisNakedMind]

So excited for you and the fact that this journey is bringing you such a positive mindset! Can't wait to hear more about your success!

[@bethnewhart1578]

I recently completed the Alcohol Experiment and absolutely loved it. It helped me through my shame spirals and negative feelings about my past drinking. It helped me inject positivity into my recovery process and helped me feel proud that I quit drinking. It helped me debunk my preconceived notions about quitting drinking and how people will perceive me. I have never tried AA, but it sounds like a never-ending shame spiral. I understand that some people need the "tough love" approach. AA has worked for thousands of people. Annie's approach really worked for me.

[@ThisNakedMind]

So happy you found so much positivity in the Alcohol Experiment! Hope that carries over into your life in all areas!

[@Journals4breakfast]

I love your book and I love your podcasts and your FB Exchange group got me to a new life that is really alcohol free. And I found two great AA meetings I adore. I take what I need from all that is available. 💗

[@ThisNakedMind]

Great mindset!

[@mayrawalters8876]

There are different groups of AA, some of them are filled with shame and negativity, but I was incredibly lucky to find 2 communities that sparked light, energy, hope, and freedom. I also, you gotta take everything with a grain of salt, kids. I always focused on the positives that my sobriety would bring me, as opposed to feeling weak for 'being an alcoholic', like I never paid attention to that stuff so much. I do like to back things with up with science. Reading Annie's book now, and I get it, and honestly it doesn't contradict that much with the message of AA (but very different styles), except for Annie is clarifying that there's no gene for alcoholism, but that alcohol is a powerful drug that can take down ANY human, Thank you, Annie! your book belongs to my toolbelt for sobriety

[@ThisNakedMind]

So glad that you can add it to your toolbelt and that it can hold space with the other ways you've found helpful! Honored to share that space!

[@waynedem468]

I’m in AA. I get what she’s saying. Let’s face it it’s all very scary. And when something works people we can have a tendency to defend it fiercely and to the letter. There’s absolutely nothing she said here that isn’t completely reasonable. And there’s zero doubt in my mind she knows what the hell shes talking about. In fact after many years of familiarity with this subject and my own experience, I’ve never found anyone better.

[@ThisNakedMind]

Thank you.

[@patrickp22]

You need a community period you don't want to put for the idea there's a one size fits all solution or someone can power through this without other people's help. I've read the book a lot of the ideas are the same theories in recovery/AA (not all) just with scientific evidence to back it. Community is key. Addiction thrives in isolation.

[@katherinechase3674]

Not everyone feels comfortable in a group format. For many people alcohol use / abuse is a private issue. It is important to find out what works for you as an individual- Community can be created in regards to a very wide array of interests, which in and of themselves can be a healthy pull away from alcohol- Imo, AA is full of antiquated beliefs systems that can actually harm some people- the idea of powerlessness for example. AA has a very low success rate, is known having for sexual predators (13th Stepping), fosters labels, has social hierarchies, and on and on- no thanks!

[@ThisNakedMind]

Community is important for many but for others it can be a source of anxiety!

[@starbright1256]

AA saved my life. My sponsor saved my life.

[@ThisNakedMind]

So happy you found the right fit for you! Hope everyone can do the same!

[@traceyhordern222]

Excellent, thanks Annie!

[@ThisNakedMind]

You're so welcome!

[@caprilover6391]

Amen Annie! Well said. AA is good, it's helped millions of people, though it's not for me. I like your approach and ideas, just like Allen Carr's and Craig Beck's. Keep up the good work and keep smiling.

[@ThisNakedMind]

Yes! Thank you!

[@rodb66]

You definitely don't want to use "I am" with something that you don't want to be. That's a negative affirmation.

[@ThisNakedMind]

Exactly!!

[@tanyaaragao5756]

So true❤

[@ThisNakedMind]

❤

[@tysonbundtrock8821]

Well put. So true.

[@ThisNakedMind]

Thank you!

[@barbywithaWHY]

you don't have to apologize to the men. Loved your book!

[@ThisNakedMind]

Thank you!

[@cherbug1197]

Thank you Annie!

[@ThisNakedMind]

You are so welcome!

[@Last_Green_Man]

Annie, I'm considering your program... I've been in AA since June 2021, easily do three meetings a week, and have not had any alcohol since then. But... I don't know if it's working for me anymore. In the last few months I'm seeing some very heavy groupthink and the religioulosity, not to mention the core fundamentals of required belief and prayer to some sort of "higher power," is now creating a rift where I feel I can no longer be honest with both myself and the group. If you still check out comments on old videos... my question is do you have people in your program like me who got a lot of value out of AA but have grown beyond it, and want to honestly attempt to try being a moderate drinker? As a child, and even in college, all food was highly restricted for me so the very concept of this lifelong abstinence torments me as it throws me back to having what I can eat and drink totally controlled. Plus this is one thing in meetings that other AA's don't relate to.

[@ThisNakedMind]

We have many people who found success in AA but also needed something more or different. We will suggest working through the mindset shifts and practices before making a choice on how alcohol will fit into your life. The reasoning being that AA works differently than we do and what you learn might change your goals altogether.

[@Last_Green_Man]

@@ThisNakedMind Thank you so much for getting back to me.

[@kellipostal1310]

IT DID NOT WORK FOR ME!!!!

[@ThisNakedMind]

We're all wired differently and must find what works for us individually.

[@user-os8sd9sb8y]

I know this is old but I just found you today and I commented in a couple of your videos already but I want to tell you that I have a hard time with AA I'm very hard time with it I don't agree with lot of things I think 12 steps are wonderful but I really hard time with it lately I've had a very bad experience with AA has to do with my boyfriend who's not my boyfriend and a girl that likes him and it's just a weird triangle thing anyways I had a very bad experience AA recently and I refuse to go I live in a small town and it's only two meetings I have two little kids one and two and they were acting up and between the soap opera and my my children I just walked out I could do it and I refuse to go which means I couldn't find a sponsor and it means basically what I'm trying to say is I have been looking for I even was researching on how to start my own organization that have nothing to do with AA because I wanted to quit drinking but I kept relapsing and kept relapsing even with AA and even reading the big book and even reading the 12 steps I kept relapsing and I found you today and I've been listening to you and your podcast and you make me excited about quitting drinking it's an alternative it's something different it's I understand what you're saying more I get it medically more I understand it works This is going to work for me and I'm so excited so thank you so much I'm so excited to find something different than AA because I really wanted to quit but it wasn't working and now I feel empowered and I was cleaning the house and I didn't I'm on day three of no drinking and I'm listening to you all day long with your buds and my ear thank you so much you make me excited about cleaning drinking and now I feel like I'm ready people have to understand that believe in AA that's great but AA is not for everybody and I wouldn't have quit drinking because of AA but because of you I I'm ready and determined and my journey thank you so much I believe your program saved my life

[@ThisNakedMind]

So happy to hear that TNM is connecting with you and making a difference! Don't forget we have a free app as well (thisnakedmindapp.com) that has additional resources, videos, and an entire community that can support you as you continue to live alcohol-free!