Doing THIS Will Get A Fearful Avoidant to Let You In & Truly Trust

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In today's video, Thais Gibson discusses the fearful avoidant attachment style (disorganized attachment style) and the core wounds around trust. Watch now to learn about the symptoms of trust issues and how to address them, as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Rebuilding Trust & Overcoming Jealousy", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:27 - What Is the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
00:02:58 - I Will Be Betrayed Core Wound
00:03:32 - Symptoms
00:04:17 - The 4 Cs of Trust
00:04:40 - Consistency
00:05:33 - Congruency
00:06:31 - Consideration
00:06:51 - Context
00:07:37 - $39 Trial Promo - Rebuilding Trust
00:09:24 - Self-Trust
00:09:57 - Conclusion
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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.
I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.
Our KZbin videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.
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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #FearfulAvoidant #FearfulAvoidantAttachment #FearfulAvoidantAttachmentStyle #DisorganizedAttachment #DisorganizedAttachmentStyle #FearfulAvoidantCourse #FearfulAvoidantCoreWounds #DatingFearfulAvoidant

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Have you experienced a relationship with a fearful avoidant that was lacking trust? What was your experience like and what did you do? ❤

[@wisdomguveya3728]

This awesome but can you make more video on attachment styles regarding friendships FAs n DAs in particular

[@calebyoung9246]

When my girlfriend and I first started communicating, on a dating site, I would tell her ahead of time when I had to leave for a week at a time (for work) and would not be able to contact her during that time. She would forget that I informed her ahead of time and then would think I lost interest in her. She also did not like how I couldn't chat with her for an hour or two every day because she didn't realize how expensive it was for me. It really created a financial hardship on me but I kept that away from her because I did not want her to feel guilty or responsible for it. Before I found your channel I was going to give up thinking she was just a scammer because of it. After 8 months of getting to know each other we planned for me to go see her in Ukraine during the war. However, when I got there she stood me up because she was so afraid I was going to reject her after meeting. She was also terrified that all I wanted was sex and would leave after a few times. That is despite the fact that I told her I wanted us to just see each other and spend some time together and was not really looking to have sex (there are reasons as I have challenges of my own). Then she would say I was the one that was breaking the trust between us but I never once put any blame on her but did notify her that my words and actions have been congruent and if the trust was indeed broken, it was not because of me. Every time I was about to walk away from her, I would get vivid dreams of us being at some exotic place or being at home enjoying the quietness together. Sometimes I would get so sick to my stomach that I couldn't do it even though I have had several relationships that I was able to leave. Then I would miss her so much I couldn't stand it. Often times I would start to see her name every where I went. I would even meet other women with her name. Then she would send me a message, or I would send her a message, about something the other was thinking about. It was confusing at first because it almost seemed like we were reading each others thoughts. We ended up talking things over based from how you said they should be discussed and found alternate ways of communicating better and more consistently with each other. I was also able to start her on her healing journey. Although, I would never say I am adept as you are, she started with the work and after a few months said she felt so safe around me. That she felt that I truly understood and accepted her. There is a lot more I could write about on this but if you want to know more you can send me a private DM. With this, I very much so am grateful for your channel and the work you do. If I didn't find you here, then I would have given up on my one true love. Sure I could have had a good relationship with anyone else but with her it's spectacular and gets better every day. I hate to think about where she might be. But we are focused on us and being the best partner we can for each other. Sometimes that does mean I have to slow things down and give her her space. None of this would have been possible with you. So again, I really do thank you. ❣

[@_anon_4532]

As a fearful avoidant, my biggest thing is consistency & predictability. And I’m not saying you have to be a super human or super partner, you don’t have to go above and beyond for me. All you have to do is just be yourself & show that you’re the same person all the time, you’re not going to switch up. If you start out really enthusiastically giving me a lot of attention and then you back off from that, my abandonment would will be triggered. If you start out consistently telling me good morning and goodnight and then stop, my abandonment wound will be triggered. Just basically if you start out consistently doing anything, big or small, my hyper vigilance, will pick up on it the second you stop, I interpret that as you’re losing feelings for me and then I’m gonna start shutting down and closing off.

[@treasuretshabalala132]

This is so very very true, and isn't it strange that we wish for this consistency and predictability when WE struggle with it the most as people with a disorganised attachment style? Maybe we're seeking from our partners and other people the calm we lack within. I seek consistency with everything by the way, not just partners but even with systems and institutions around me. Any inconsistency (especially one I can interpret as deception) infuriates me lol.

[@marybruce76]

Hello, I too, lean FA, so I’m not casting stones AT ALL, as I completely relate with you on this. However, it is ironic we, as FAs, tend to expect things from our partner that we struggle with offering ourselves (i.e. consistency and predictability). 😂 We are hot n’cold with our emotions and behavior, often switching gears when we get triggered by our wounds, etc., thus not being consistent and predictable. I am growing more secure as I consume Thais’ info., apply it, and am healing, as I’m certain you are as well. It’s awesome that you are here and seeking transformation, too. Although FAs and all insecure attachment styles have their fair share of challenges, downsides, etc., there are so many beautiful qualities which come from leaning FA. I am excited and hopeful to maintain those positive attributes, while shedding the negative ones. God’s best on your journey to becoming more healthy and whole! ❤

[@nicoleflusk5434]

Can I ask you, when someone is consistent with you as you prefer are you consistent in return with how you respond? My struggle is I stopped being consistent with what I do because he (FA I am dating) doesn’t respond consistently. So in otherwords, I text good morning or good night and he may or may not reply at all! Reply could be great, long phone conversation even, or literally he could ignore me completely. So for this reason I now act as he acts and I more or less wait for him to initiate a good part of the time. I have explained how difficult it is to feel rejected when he ignores me, even though I have a fair understanding it’s not personal and this always happens after we have had a more emotional conversation where he tells me how he feels about me and desires for marriage ect. It’s never random but nonetheless it feels like a rejection.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for sharing your insights and being open about what makes you feel secure in a relationship. It's important for both parties to understand each other's needs! ❤

[@garytrujillo4789]

if you ask for a lot and give nothing that pretty much makes you a social derelict.

[@rosetaylor3717]

I can’t stress enough how giving FAs a general vibe that you’re “on their side” earns their trust. Even when you mess up, if that’s the general theme I’ve felt, I can understand and forgive SO much. Just please make me feel like you have my back.

[@LeeChrissy]

Yes. This is the thing I love most about my ex DA/FA. He has told me repeatedly that he loves me no matter what. Even recently said he will always love me and told me to text him whenever I want about anything. He's never once held me disappearing against me. Just called it my "disappearing thing". Lol I test secure now, but even when I was deep in my FA, he made me feel safe and that's why I will always love him...even as friends. ❤

[@annnee6818]

I can't since you won't make me feel like you have mine. FAs expect to be constantly allowed to hurt you and you'll just take it on the chin.

[@mercyveritas1125]

@@LeeChrissy Then why break up with him?

[@LeeChrissy]

@@mercyveritas1125 he doesn't want a label. He's more comfortable in a monogamous situationship. I can't do that.

[@mercyveritas1125]

@@LeeChrissy that's what unheal FAs do in general, they prefer superficial relationships

[@thtbg834]

What I’ve realised after watching a lot of clips from dating experts is we tend to treat FA/DA etc as if they’re special needs. They need this, act like that. Let’s find excuses for people’s inability to act like an adult and use communication skills, let’s give them some sort of special treatment. Point of my comment is, don’t change the way you are (unless it’s you that’s genuinely unhealthy in whatever way) If the other person your dating cannot act like an adult and needs a whole book to deal with them… Leave, otherwise you’ll always be wondering or second guessing how you act on a day to day basis… Adults talk, discuss issues etc and if they can find a happy ground then great it will probably stand a chance of success…. If the other person cannot do that then more than likely the relationship is doomed to fail…. You may just extend the time it takes to fail with all these tips/tactics

[@nicoleflusk5434]

Ok I’m watching…. He lets me in then freaks out and deactivates! I know it’s from lack of trust but problem is the more he does this the less I trust Him 😢 Ugh hopefully this video will shed some light 🙏🏽

[@natalienava5896]

Yeah the guy I dated was doing exactly these things, I was available and consistent. Unless they are doing the work too, it's hopeless

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

It's tough when trust issues create a cycle like that. Hang in there! ❤

[@jdprettynails]

“If you disappear for a day, make sure to explain why” Would be real nice if the FA’s could also do that for us…..

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

😅

[@nappyfries]

I do. Did you communicate that’s something that you like/need?

[@sjgrall]

THIS.

[@annnee6818]

​​@@nappyfries No because it's freaking obvious if you have basic empathy and a brain. Do you need to be told that your partner doesn't want to be punched in the face too? Do you need every very basic thing explained to you like you're feral?

[@zurirobinson2749]

It's because we don't think it matters/that you'll care. Not to hurt you.

[@geraldgrogan]

This helps me understand what happened in my past and how/why it happened. I needed to hear this today. Thanks

[@paulharrison8612]

I showed my partner all those C's and she still ran off into the sunset, gave no real explanation as to why only said things got too much and was too difficult. The connection we had is like nothing I've felt before. And now I'm just left here standing...that was 2 months ago, I've cried every day, i miss her so much its like someone cut my arm off because I unconditionally love her and we are meant to be. I will wait for her, if it's meant to be it will be.

[@tater3982]

Go no contact and work on your anxious attachment style and finding inner peace. The love for yourself that you need. If you get her back, you do. If you don't, you'll get somebody worth it that will treat you well. Don't accept being treated poorly. (I am FA)

[@dstry_17]

Exactly the same situation took place in my life. They are just pretend to be alright, deep down they might regret it. My FA ex (she is also an undiagnosed BPD) showed that she misses me and regret her decision after one month and unblocked me but no text or call whatsoever. I saw her reposting sad videos etc. And also posted videos like: maybe we can be together in the future and stuffs like that. It was the most terrible feeling in my life, knowing we feel the same but she denied everything when I tried to talk to her (indirect approach through an apology video on my page, she didn't block all of my accounts, idk why). Her subconcious feels the loss already. Just try to work on yourself man and if you are lucky enough, she will notice the change and be back with you. Give her some time...

[@mercyveritas1125]

@@dstry_17 Did u try texting her?

[@J80199]

@@sjgrallthe missing piece is you. Your glass is half full and you’re looking for someone else to fill it up for you. Work on your core wounds so you can come into a relationship with a full cup. When you do, you will seek someone else with a cup that is full and there won’t be that extensive need to grab each other cups of water. 👍🏽

[@dstry_17]

@@mercyveritas1125 I sticted to no contact, one time I accidentally sent her a video and she tried to convince me she doesn't regret her decision, although the video wasn't about that. I tried to make her reach out after I posted a video (apology where I admit my mistakes) and she reached out but was mad etc. She denied that she has feelings for me but her videos tell otherwise. It's more than 1 month since we talked.

[@roshalllambert]

I loved the explanation of 4Cs! Also I loved the point about FAs learning to give this to themselves!

[@danlee5856]

I'm a fearful avoidant person. Just found out a month ago and I am working on it. My last relationship breakup was traumatic. She cheated on me which reinforced the avoidant part really hard. Now I can't seem to trust anyone. That was 8 years ago and I have basically been full hermit since then. I freeze on dating sites when there might be someone who is compatible. It literally scares me to think about getting into another relationship but part of me wants one, haha. I haven't had another relationship since my last one 8 years ago. My question is: is this a typical experience for a fearful avoidant person?

[@nicoleflusk5434]

Sounds very typical and not just for a FA

[@ShopgirlNY182]

Thank you for this list of 4 C’s .. I think that is a good list just for trusting people in general

[@julesD0222]

So, why aren’t FAs consistent? I find it’s hypocritical to expect of the other, what you yourself are unwilling to give

[@mgn1621]

And the ghosting and stonewalling is not healthy behaviour, oh, and no accountability

[@peixeess]

Of course everyone wants a person with both anxiety and avoidance to be consistant but that is quite a lot to ask for considering the core is quite a mess... I mean, at the core there is wanting a close bond, wanting to love and be loved - the ability to give warmth. At the same time there's a fear of being abandoned which is scary and can make you inconsistent and fearful. And on top of that is the fear of depending on someone because people can not be trusted... and therefore making the person more inconsistent... wanting and needing someone can feel unsafe, unstable. You don't know if the person will show up for you. You don't know if the person actually cares... you feel insecurities rise up... does this person even care about me? I need some sort of validation. Can this person be trusted? I doubt it as people are not consistent. I guess it's a must to recieve as much consistency as possible to be as consistent as possible themselves, living with fears of the person leaving AND fears of letting the person in isn't easy😄

[@dominiquecadet5976]

@@peixeesswell that’s why I run away from these individuals.

[@sticktightNIS]

With FAs you can do everything right en still get broken up with because you're "too good to be true" and therefore there must be something wrong with you

[@LeeChrissy]

Sometimes it's the connection and how strong it was on their end too. I'm more healed now, but when I was deep in my FA and I left it was either something that triggered me or I just wasn't feeling as strongly as they were regardless of them doing all the right things. It really depends on the situation.

[@dominiquecadet5976]

I have no problem being consistent but FA’s are not consistent in return. After a while, I become inconsistent too.

[@spacecat8511]

It’s…kinda surprising how many of these I do as a FA while navigating relationships if for no other reason than to try and settle my Fear that the other person needs that as badly as I do, too.

[@c.saraha.brislin5545]

I'm an FA and I watched your FA vs BPD video and I think my husband is BPD, even if he's not after watching more videos from Drs like Dr. Ramani. I would love more on the impacts of BPD on children and their attachment style (which I think would also likely be AP or FA) and what the non BPD parent can do to raise a kid with a secure attachment style especially when they are not secure themselves. Maybe this video would be helpful for each Attachment style the way you have done others. I'd also like a video on FAs in a relationship with a BPD person.

[@NicolaDietrich]

Hi, I'm fearful avoidant and I found this really useful. I will definitely look at those areas for self trust, but I also wanted to know how to deal with people who are not showing up for us like this? So if someone is not being transparent is there a general response which is secure which we can use with all other attachment styles. If someone is not being consistent is there a general response which is secure which we can use with all other attachment styles and if they're not being congruent etc. I know there are detailed responses for if the person gets into it with you. I've used those. They've not been successful in building the relationship because the other person is not aware of their attachment style and is not interested in connecting in a secure way, but they were successful in me making space for myself when someone else isn't. But what I found was these were very lengthy responses, and I wondered if there are some very quick ways to deal with these issues with other people in the moment, that tells them hey I'm going to deal with this if this happens.

[@Jessica1201jmm]

You are so on point with this video ❤

[@grahamelliott9506]

yay thais, love your content, glad to see this one and feel seen

[@Chrissycolelive]

I have no intention of changing as a secure attachment but I wanted to understand for my sanity as I know this isn’t something I’d find fulfillment in….had a friend similar and someone I was once attracted too but these red flags turned me off… I’m expressive and felt I had to make myself small and it was stifling I will pray for you from a distance but appreciate peace

[@themakingofourtipi7898]

How do I break off contact. She told me she wants to be just friends and I have told her that that isn't what I'm looking for. I've been honest with her since we've known each other. But she keeps texting me. How do I go dark politely. I don't think just breaking off cold can be a healthy way to do this. Or am I wrong? Need some support here please.

[@nicoleflusk5434]

Be honest. Say that it is too difficult for you to just be friends without hope of there being more. That you are looking for a long term romantic relationship (or say whatever you are looking for) and that you don’t want to be hurtful or rude but going forward you will no longer be in contact or replying to any communication

[@somethinggood9267]

Watch a video about how to set a boundary. You've basically said what you wanted, but she is still getting what she wants(to be friends). The ball is in your court, you have to distance yourself from her. How else could you get what you want? You can't keep hanging out with her expecting her to change her mind, that's what codependent people do

[@Chrissycolelive]

I have no intention of changing as a secure attachment but I wanted to understand for my sanity as I know this isn’t something I’d find fulfillment in….had a friend similar and someone I was once attracted too but these red flags turned me off… I’m expressive and felt I had to make myself small and it was stifling

[@ejimshalom5480]

I’m FA and still in contact with my DA ex We don’t really talk consistently..just reply to each other’s status or story sometimes and some occasional video calls that he initiates We haven’t met after the break up too but he’s asked to meet a couple of times and still asks even tho I don’t go But then I anytime I fall back or go kinda Mia he reaches out first and sends a text that he’s just checking in …happened 4 times this year already Recently I deleted his number trying to let go completely but 5 days later he texted me saying he wanted to see if I was good and all He doesn’t really engage with me when I’m online but when I go offline he notices and comes Now I’m confused… are these mixed signals or I’m tripping?

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Hey there! It seems like there's some back-and-forth going on. Maybe it's time to have a real talk about where things stand. Good luck! ❤

[@ejimshalom5480]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Talk with him? Can you give me tips on how to do that please cause I’m lowkey fearing a rejection even after being broken up

[@middlechild1080]

Let it go, he's not serious

[@silverroxen2954]

Same it's weird, especially since he's with someone else. Actually we weren't in a relationship. We're not compatible.

[@Mermaid03_03]

Same. What’s the longest you both had gone without contact?

[@brandicunningham8736]

I’m an anxious avoidant dealing with FA and everything you they want they don’t give back in return. Because of this it’s made me a DA I guess? It’s almost like be scared of putting all your eggs in one basket! We are in a distance relationship which makes it harder. He breadcrumbs and all the other things they do so we are basically barely communicating. I’m at the point where I don’t even know if I want to try anymore. Basically let it faze out . Maybe one day he’ll heal and the timing will be right. But it’s not fair to let people believe one thing and then the next you’re confused or unsure. I’m all out of trying… time to move on. I know I’m not perfect either but I’m a work in progress. I can’t heal myself and him too as much as I want to.

[@jess_smwhere]

Thank you.

[@Taekook0417]

My FA ex said he knows he has issues and he needs to fix them. HE SAID THIS HIMSELF. IM SO PROUD OF MY BABY !!!! Sadly we ended things. His Trust issues were triggered and I was hurt and felt invalidated and hurt as if i wasn't important to him. Both hurt eachother honestly. Broke up over the argument. I don't wanna lose him honestly but i cannot push him. I don't want to push him Just pray that he'd choose me again and give me one last chance to make things right. I hope it's not too late :'( But glad that he's gonna work and I've promised him and myself that I'm gonna do my side of the work too. :) Guys could you please take a minute and pray that things work out for us? Thank you

[@JosephStockdale-q5n]

In my case it’s the FA that holds these qualities of NOT fallowing through on the 4 C’s!! Not me. I feel like this is totally backwards in the relationship. Shouldn’t this be addressed to the FA?!

[@Dsonsee]

Break up with them! You can always do that instead of resenting the person as they fail your expectations (assuming you have expressed your needs)

[@jlynnmenzel]

It was addressed at the end when she spoke directly to FAs. She said they often struggle with trusting and betraying themselves by lacking consistency and congruency in self care activities, etc. Did you listen to that part? Instead of blaming them and absolving yourself of responsibility ask yourself why you’re attracted to FAs maybe. The whole point of the video was that they do struggle with doing these things for themselves so they do look for these qualities in others. If they aren’t doing the work, simply move on and send them well wishes that they will heal.

[@JosephStockdale-q5n]

@@jlynnmenzel Why do you assume i haven’t taken that responsibility? In fact I have! I’m Leading by example. As an AP I see my flaws and work diligently on myself. My point was to bring out isn’t this why there’s a lane of FEARFUL AVOIDANCE? Doesn’t the label say it all? Most secure people don’t fall into this category. They show up on time and are congruent. Just my view. Thanks for the feedback back 🙏🏼

[@jlynnmenzel]

@@JosephStockdale-q5nit’s not that I assume you haven’t taken responsibility, but your text that I commented under gave the impression that you’re pointing the finger at your FA and saying it’s all on them. “Its the FA, not me” were some key words that made it sound like you weren’t taking responsibility. I can only respond to what things sound like based on your limited amount of words.

[@JosephStockdale-q5n]

@@jlynnmenzel I can see your point. Looking at my question and giving limited context. Ya that’s a valid point. Also what’s in there is my frustration. At times it seams so one sided. Also the let down of my partner telling me she’s going to do this and change that but given the opportunity, it never happens. It’s heartbreaking 💔 at times. I feel lead on. Also foolish at times because I keep trusting she will be congruent. Oh well, it’s a journey. Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it. Well wishes.

[@doubleambition5211]

I need to ask a question: How can you ask someone to learn to trust you if everyone previous girlfriend they've had has hurt them, and when you genuinely trying to communicate with them... all they see it as is you are trying to manipulate or play with them? Seriously... how do you help them see your true genuine intentions?. .

[@DopeyDetector]

Be consistent in your actions and your words

[@snoiabug]

I wonder if having a language barrier with a parent may be another way that someone could become fearful avoidant. I've known many people with immigrant parents who grew up never really becoming fluent in their parents' language. I can only imagine how much inconsistency this could cause when the parents are also not fluent in English.

[@gregorystinette8271]

I am never triggered by my dog & we have a great relationship. Woof !

[@a.d.b535]

Groovy. My avoidant gives his puppy all the affection I've needed and asked for. I told him I wish I was the puppy.

[@LydiaKettle]

Having watched a few of these videos I'm not sure how we can do these 4 C's, while going no contact for 6 weeks?

[@DopeyDetector]

You can't. That's absurd

[@tumbleweedconnection7906]

Thais could someone who grew up in a home where their parents fought all the time even talked about getting divorced but were good to their kids end up as an FA?

[@LeeChrissy]

My parents were amazing to me, but the fighting and unpredictability definitely had a part of me turning in a FA.

[@wulfclaw4921]

If they fear abandonment why do they bother people at all. Do they already know they are going to self-sabotage ? What triggers it? When they go ghost and refuse to seek resolve what is gonna fix that,EVER ?

[@wisdomguveya3728]

Consistency is a big thing for me. Please can you make more videos on Friendship e.g FA n DA

[@Luis913Barroeta]

As a former FA, I can see why it’s so challenging dating another FA. My last ex was an FA and it was a roller coaster of her wanting to be with me then her pulling away. And that’s how I used to be. My heart goes out to those who are dating an FA 🤍

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Your empathy for those dating a Fearful Avoidant is truly heartwarming. Your understanding is appreciated! ❤

[@tomislav_malbasic]

hey, how to get a fearful avoidant narcissist girl back? we had short time together, just 10 days. she was the one that was hurting me from the beginning, being too rude and not careful with her words (like comparisons with her ex). in the end, when she started opening to me - i got reserved and then she became very rude and end the relationship. now is almost 5 months without contact, after i was messaging her for 2 months after the breakup, without any respond from her. i love and care for her, want another try with her now when i know what the problem was. how to get her back? what kind of message can break her shield?

[@florintanase-vo6mv]

Getting her back will be the biggest mistake of your life. She's gonna eat your soul.

[@tomislav_malbasic]

​@@florintanase-vo6mv how to get her back?

[@777-h6n]

Everything they want, they don’t do😂

[@sleepyjoeatemyiceacream]

Lol, yeah, I think I'll pass on ever dating an FA again! Not worth it.

[@nataliel2149]

How can you be consistent with someone who’s so inconsistent though 😱

[@nicoleflusk5434]

It is NOT easy!!!!

[@DopeyDetector]

Model the behavior you'd like to see. Be consistent. Tell them when there are things you don't like. You may initially be met with resistance, but they'll change If they don't want to work on themselves, then move on

[@johngallagher4280]

Why bother? Too much work. "If it feels like pulling teeth, it's not for you, chief."

[@noraa3815]

I tried and nothing worked.

[@MichelleH-lr5ft]

What if you approached a fearful avoidant in a bad way during their rough time, and now they’re distancing from you and avoiding you? He clearly needed space and I didn’t give it to him (he kept saying he didn’t need it but his actions showed me he did) I wasn’t a safe space for him to open up. He’s now not reaching out and it’s been 10 days. We’ve been dating for around 9 months and it’s been going well up until now. I don’t know whether to continue giving him space or reach out? I want to fix it since I understand his attachment style much more.

[@LeeChrissy]

As a healing FA, I'd hold off. It might take a few weeks, but if feelings were strong on his end, he'll likely reach out at some point. If I needed space and wasn't given it, I'd need time to keep to myself and regroup and also to make sure my partner was capable of giving me room to breathe when I need it.

[@nicoleflusk5434]

Give space for sure! He will likely come back around when he is ready. But if not then you can reach out in a positive and supportive way around 4-6 weeks

[@positivel5530]

Fearful avoidant sounds a lot like the anxious attachment style

[@nicoleflusk5434]

They are similar in a lot of ways since part of the fearful avoidance tendencies are that of the anxious preoccupied

[@DopeyDetector]

Which is why they go well together. Balance

[@athalfridhu]

TOO MANY COACHES, GURUS AND PSYCHOLOGISTS CALLING IT "AVOIDANT" WHEN IS NARCISISM... This is bad for the victim (prey justifying the butcher) and for the narcissist itself (alibi & lack of accountability). Also too many infra diagnosed narcissists are treated with antidepressants, which lead to the suppression of any remaining trace of empathy...

[@FrankyboyFloyd]

The 4 C’s of trust…. All of these avoidants don’t do. This channel lacks lucidity… These persons don’t know how to communicate, don’t care about your feelings and never apologize for how bad they treat you. Only their little person matters to them… Just let go…..