Domestic Abuse: Caught on Camera: Panorama

[@helenweatherby1694]

My uncle by marriage behaved like this towards my aunt. When her brothers found out, they did to him what he did to her. He never touched her again, and she was able to escape from him. As they say, all bullies are cowards.

[@basilbrush7878]

I wish brothers dealt with behaviour like that today

[@sleepygirl3022]

It’s the only language these brutes understand. Nothing the law can do will stop these bullying cowards. I’ve never been a victim of DV and can’t imagine the terror someone who’s living this nightmare faces. It makes my blood boil people are capable of inflicting this on the one they claim to love.

[@vickilawrence7207]

Oh how wonderful that she had somebody to take revenge on her attacker! Good for them!

[@Truth1561]

Often family members- especially the parents of the abuser- will support the abuser and blame the victim. It's depressing.

[@cherylschumaker1366]

​@@basilbrush7878who's to say some don't...

[@BlingBlingTheBSOFTHEISS]

“You’ve got me arrested again” “You’ve get me arrested again, I’m going down this time”. “ that’s what you want isn’t it, it’s supposed to be my 76 birthday” Blaming her for his behavior and his consequences and then playing the victim, it’s disgusting.

[@lindastone3278]

Bling Bling The BS OF THE ISS I once told my ex that when he got to the Pearly Gates he would say wait a minute, wait a minute, let me get Linda, it is her fault I did everything wrong.

[@patriciawilliams7957]

.no

[@Pippin514]

Yes, that hit me hard too! Oh, really? He should be able to kill her and had every right to???...And should not pay for it??? She had no right to cause him those consequences!??? OMG! The Narcissistic Mind...THE REPTILIAN MIND!

[@babybluecheeks]

My ex always would blame me, he told me that it was my fault that he got arrested even though I hadn't even called the police! I didn't make statements but it was my fault he beat me lol, they never take responsibility and their family will always blame the women.

[@PlAiNJaNe521]

All the same cries from every other narcissists that has ever spoken..

[@Decgyrrl]

If he is this dangerous at 76 yrs of age, then I can only imagine what he must've been like when he was a young man. He used her face like a punching bag, gave her 2 black eyes. She's calm, because she's become resolute. I feel sorry for her.

[@merbrooks40]

I am a survivor of domestic violence. After years of the abuse, broken bones, bruises, burns and choking I finally left, went to the hospital where they called the police. He only served 2 years in prison. But karma found him last year. ..... he got hit by a car on the highway and died. True story.

[@karmensitta4536]

Alleys Life I wish to God that it happens to my ex too!but it seems he's getting luckier every year!I was a victim of abusive relationship too who scaped by the help of two friends and survived, but the emotional scars are allways there.

[@violeta8626]

I'm so happy he's dead!!!

[@juliaeckhard2164]

Karma

[@sharondavis4120]

Alleys Life I was abused 19 yes my hubby died at 48 from heart attack

[@Ski7440]

Alleys Life , .....omg, that is true Karma. Wow !

[@Artis341]

This video should be shown in every school , college, workplace ect. Absolutely shocking , not for the severe brutality but for the age of the perpetrator. It will never stop untill you leave. So, sad.

[@elizabethrose8504]

Dawn used to be our neighbour .... he was an animal and we wanted her to leave but she didn’t have any where to go.... she is happy now and getting on with her life ....

[@439bananas]

Why on earth did he not divorce her if he did not want to be with her? Sorry abusers are immune to logic

[@madwhitehare3635]

Not to your house, then?

[@elizabethrose1766]

@@madwhitehare3635 we offered but she wanted to stay

[@hanginlaundry360]

Evil bastard. I can't believe the cops were letting her collect his effects. She should have been put in an ambulance !!

[@hanginlaundry360]

​@@439bananasit's all about power and control.

[@brownfaye1305]

All his old age shows me is that he has been a woman beater for a very long time. I bet money that this is not his first and only victim. He may be old but he is strong enough to cause horrendous injuries. Dont be fooled by this old man. "Your going to get me locked up"! No you did that yourself. I could never be a police officer walking into that house. There would be a period of 'lost footage' on my body camera. No its not right to fight violence with violence but I know that would be my reaction. Hope your last days are spent in jail.

[@doreenm6761]

brown faye I agree! And sometimes the best way in my opinion to solve that problem is violence. What’s that saying ? The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a gun?what else is going to wrk? Not therapy! Some abusers cannot be changed. They need to get beat the hell up, killed, or jailed for a looooong time.

[@TheMsmith77]

Lost footage for real...

[@thecultofjohnnydelr.soulsw7010]

Indeed🤦🏻violence only perpetuates violence 🙄

[@deborahchesnul1149]

Grew up terrified, suffered abuse from my mother. And happy to be an adult and married a man who wouldn't let the sun shine on me the wrong way. But my mom had daily beatings waiting for me , she did apologize for the treatment of me than but I promised myself that I'd never be that kind of mother. 5 kids and last 1 just left. I'm happy to say the cycle is broken.

[@PaperMario64]

Deborah Chesnul good on you for stopping the cycle, both with your children and your choice of mate. Many women fall for the same type of men when they grow up with abusive fathers.

[@patriciaroysdon9540]

God bless you!

[@alenalee1943]

Deborah Chesnul As I read your comment, I just want to hug you 💗

[@pommiebears]

Deborah Chesnul my grandmother abused me, and I went on to marry another abuser. I know how damaging being abused by a caregiver can hurt. My mother had left, so my nan lived with us....she detested me because I looked like my mum. Being abandoned by my mum, then my dad, then hated by my nan....well, it doesn’t make for a great life. My ex husband used the same tactics my nan had used, an abusers M.O, so to speak. I’m very lucky now, my second husband adores me, but it took me a lot of time to trust him and his adoration of me. I like to think that I have been rewarded with him for living through the first 30 yrs of my life. It’s my way of turning a negative to a positive, I suppose. I’m so glad you didn’t leave one abuser and walk into another, as your husband sounds wonderful. Now....look forward, as behind you is only there if you choose to look.

[@culebralor7493]

SO PROUD OF YOU!! THOSE KIDS ARE BLESSED!

[@jenniferkleczka4062]

My first husband hit me ONCE. I hit him back with a cast iron skillet (broke the handle off). He NEVER hit me again.

[@beatrixconrady743]

Good

[@sprousehouse100]

WORD!!

[@goodjob6582]

GOOD FOR YOU !!!!

[@Vb-fy4sv]

If only EVERY woman could do the same as you what a wonderful world this would be wouldn’t it ?

[@fashionvibe101]

uhm no you guys not good, this is terrible advice, and if a weaker woman took this advice and a stronger man received it she would be dead, go to the police/women's shelter immediately and remove any chance of communication

[@mpalmer7800]

I cannot believe these cops didn't immediately take her to the ER they have this abuser still ordering her around? ???

[@w11granny67]

Maureen Palmer-Mundy I agree

[@sexylexy80]

Very true

[@terryhappy3337]

I KNOW RIGHT!!! JEEEZ LUWEEEEZ!!!

[@s.wright6945]

You have no idea how Police deal with Dom violence, they deal with these evil bastards day in day out and know what they are doing. She was too scared to go to A&E, or did you miss that? They were able to record his controlling abusive behaviour on their bodycam which is used in the trial. The police spent four hours persuading her to make a statement which resulted in him getting av10 year prison sentence. When she did finally agree to go to hospital the police stayed with her to make her feel safe, She said the police were fantastic! This is the UK our police are the best!

[@terryhappy3337]

Touche!

[@angelstewart7886]

I am a survivor of domestic violence, I was very close to death before I left. I left with my head held high with my 3 children and have never ever looked back.

[@Redzsolit1990]

The same thing that happened to me. He was only arrested, because he kept talking shit to the police. I didn't bail his ass out. I packed my bags and left

[@GhostsQueen85]

@@Redzsolit1990 how did you get out? I feel so broken down and lonely. I have no where to go literally, no one to go stay with or a car to get there for that matter. I just called the cops on my boyfriend cause he punched me as hard as he could in my shoulder. He heard me calling the cops on him and left with a buddy like the chicken shit he is before they got there!

[@Redzsolit1990]

@@GhostsQueen85 u get away hunny when he's not there. Grab your important documents, and your phone charger, and phone, and you get out of there. You are gonna have to go to a shelter for abused women. Call around, and see which shelter has room for you❤ Ask how many bags of clothes you can take. Carry what you can. I got away, because i had my ex husband arrested, and i got an order of protection

[@gillianbrookwell1678]

I think women are very strong. We have to be.

[@samroxas6980]

@@GhostsQueen85 can you give us an update? Are you safe?

[@Zurvan101]

I've been in a relationship with a controlling and violent woman, but that was five years ago and I will never look back Domestic abuse is the pursuit of the cowardly, the insecure.

[@Trixie287]

Men are often not believed to live in such a relationship. I believe you, my mother was a devil on wheels, at the end she killed my father with decades of stress. He suffered a heartstroke after another fierce quarrel. He was straight catholic, the marriage was holy. No way out. We two daughters couldnt get children because of our beatings. She beated our cat on the ears until it was deaf, broke my heart, this was the only creature wich gave me warmth and love and made me survive. It is such a big mistake, to say women are not cruel and violent, there are many examples. I looked for help sometimes, but was told i was a bad child to accuse my holy mother. I still keep the letter i was forced to write in school for mothers day to thank my mother. I pleaded she was beating me all day, answer of the teacher - then you surely deserved it. This letter keeps my hate for mankind alive.

[@LKre-vi5oq]

Nobody says women don't become domestic abusers. Nobody. However, the majority of abusers are men, abusing EVERYBODY! I just read an article that said men, in England, are facing more and more DV in their homes from non-household members who are male. It is a terrible cycle that has to be stopped.

[@Angel12199]

As an abuse survivor, married to a man that beat me, kicked me, choked me and controlled me for 30 years I can tell you this woman's survival is nothing short of a miracle. It starts with control. If they can prosecute control behavior before the physical violence more women will be saved. God bless all who are working to change the horrific circumstances.

[@jacbeneficial]

Yes, that was one of the most pertinent aspects of the entire program. Totally agree.

[@timhaddrell4457]

❤ amen

[@1960gal]

Hope you have been able to enjoy life without a tyrant standing over you♡

[@morganablackwater2017]

We need to teach YOUNG GIRLS how to spot red flag instead romanticise the violence and abuse

[@ritachegar7761]

There are worse things than being a woman alone.

[@kjtamf]

Rita Chegar 🙏🏻👍🏻

[@MrAveragedancer]

I think these women know that, but men are able to pick out vulnerable women from a country mile away, and they know (from plenty of previous experience) how to charm them into thinking they're different, and they're very good at it. Women lower their defenses thinking maybe it'll be different and before they know it, they're trapped again. It's a pattern that's extremely difficult to break free of. And the men don't change. As much as the media touts the idea of batterers getting help, it changes nothing. They might get to a place where they'll say the words, but forced contrition never works for long.

[@tourbillon13]

@@MrAveragedancer Wow. You are so right. The worst case scenario is... "Oh it'll be better once we're married!" Oh Lord, RUN and keep running 😥!!!

[@deborahhoffman7394]

Rita Chegar Absolutely. I would rather be alone than around people who are putting me in danger.

[@deborahhoffman7394]

Does this also name your email ? These women live in fear. It is time that women become empowered. Women need to support one another.

[@willow0828]

I’m a retired animal abuse investigator. For 24 years I investigated animal cruelty and dangerous dogs. She mentioned if there was children in the home, the abuser will use them pretty much as leverage. The same thing applies to animals. If there’s a companion animal in the home. The abuser will hold hurting the animal over the victims head. They’ll use the animals, like they use the children. So despicable!

[@timhaddrell4457]

Amen so true

[@LittleKitty22]

My stalker didn't even threaten me with it - once he realized how much I love my cat, he murdered my cat so brutally that I cannot mention the details on here. The stalker has been stalking me for 20 years and has done other things, such as getting his friend to make false r @ p e allegations against me, resulting in my arrest and substantial criminal record. The police totally sided with both of them and do to this day, they made me out towards the CPS to be this "dangerous and violent r @ p ! $ t ". Note: both are members of a r @ p e gang and both have repeatedly violently r @ p e d me. The gang in fact have so violated me that I needed a hysterectomy at a very young age. Also note: I'm a TINY, SEVERELY DISABLED GIRL... The stalker later moved to a house just a few doors from me, where he lives to this day - so the police mockingly told me (I have long found this out to be true). Every day he drives up and down outside my house. I cannot have cats any more as he will only do the same again. The police have threatened me that, if I ever try to report him or his friend again, they will make sure I will go to prison for the rest of my life. I miss my cat like mad and the worst part is - there will never be justice for him, and I am not allowed to speak the truth.

[@JulieSevelson-nb9nj]

​@@LittleKitty22Where are you ? You really need legal advice to get out and get justice !! Can you document what happened ? You should keep a journal, get a storage unit to keep all your important documents in anyway. And see if you can buy indoor/ outdoor cameras that send images in real time to your phone. Change your phone number, because it can be tracked. Getting a ' burner phone ' from a convenience store is even better. And contact a domestic violence shelter, they may have extra ways to assist in protect you. I'm so sorry about your cat,what was done to them !! This giy who did this to your cat, he should be prosecuted for that alone, for starters !! That fiend really needs to pay,aling will those friggen crooked, misogynistic cops !! Sue!.Sue.!Sue ! Once you are really safe,that is. You also need a support group for disabled,mistreated adults. You are way too alone. You DO deserve better, please keep that in mind. And please keep us posted about your wellbeing. I hope you will escape this surveillance soon,as its borh gangstalking and harassment. Which IS illegal.

[@vickilawrence7207]

OMG how fucking disgusting! The fear of seeing your little pets hurt would be a perfect threat! Pos!

[@jonsmum5552]

I had a friend who was physically abused by her partner, they purchased a puppy and he would abuse the dog to make her do anything he wanted. I never knew at the time, if I had I would have reported him to the authorities. I hope he never has a minutes peace. I have no words to describe how I feel about him. It certainly wouldn’t be suitable for me to comment here,

[@annmitchell4663]

As usual..'SHE got him arrested'..they always put the blame on the victim.

[@msperrylame2769]

Ann Mitchell exactly. Deflection ugh ..

[@myfindhorn2]

My ex threatened by say he would pour petrol over my children if I ever left him. My grandmother visited one day and Sussed up the situation an told my ex, " I don't know what you are doing to her but it must be through her kids" that lassie would face Goliath. I knew there and then that lassie was back and out he went, it was not easy then 44 years ago because t He laws were made for man and even the police never interfered as marital rape and female spousal abuse was allowed. I was so lucky Asa few policemen Sussed him out and gave him what he gave me, he left town and ran back to mummy. He abused his second wife and is abusing number 3. Abusers never change they just change victims.

[@annmitchell4663]

@@myfindhorn2 Glad you got out of it love,I know back in the day the law favoured the husband,I was lucky enough not to encounter men like that,and as you say they use the love for the children against you.

[@manichairdo6346]

@@myfindhorn2 Super granny.

[@ladygrace2741]

Typical narcissist, always playing the victim role when factually they are the perpetrator.

[@rosiestewart870]

abuse isn't always just physical. my ex told me i was too fat, when i weighed 118 lbs., after having 2 babies. he bragged about his affairs, and accused me of having affairs. he wouldn't let me have a car, telling me i was too stupid to learn how to drive. i had to get to and from work by bus. he wouldn't give me money to buy groceries, but went with me, telling me what i could and couldn't buy. when the doctor said i needed surgery, or i would die, he said the doctor just wanted money. after i recovered from the surgery, i knew i could not put up with any more. i divorced him. eleven years later, i married a kind, loving man. my daughters want me to pretend that their dad was perfect, even though he was cruel to them, too. nobody wants to hear my story, one "friend" told me to forget my ex. but i can't forget, those years with him are a part of who i am. my second husband died a year ago, and i'm alone. but i know that being with someone cruel is much worse than being alone.

[@spacecase7566]

Thank you for sharing your life. I am sorry that your family does not want to accept the reality of your relationship with your ex. Maybe with time, age and experience your kids may soon come to understand not to 'demonize' or 'place anyone on a pedestal'. Your 'friend' is pretty insensitive to ask you to forget something so influential on your life. Wishing you the best movie forward.

[@patty2020]

Rosie stewart .

[@jaynehinds3339]

Rosie stewart 118pounds is tiny

[@yesmelud4846]

I agree with you , Hope you find what your looking for "

[@jadenminter6895]

Rosie stewart I want to hear your story I lived in abuse for over 20 years .. physical abuse is only part of it.. a big part but mental abuse is a big part too .. they make you feel so worthless and make you believe no one else will ever love you .. to control you they have to kill your self esteem .. if it's already low they feed on that.. I used to feel bad for him.. I had been through abuse of all kinds as a child and I wondered what he went through that made the monster he became.. plus in my situation he was not always a monster .. I really thought he loved me but was just so damaged.. I felt sorry for him.. but Jesus Christ delivered me.. it's been 4 years and 10 months since I was beat up by my x husband or any man.. I rather be by myself bc as long as I have Jesus I'll never be alone.. and as far gone as you get .. once you leave and are gone awhile.. you wonder how you ever lived that way.. or you get another that does the same.. I'm on my daughters KZbin this is her mother talking ❤️✝️🙏😊

[@lavkyn]

She needed medical attention, not packing a bag. The blows she took, broke my heart to see. 😔

[@suzymoroka297]

It’s for him! He’s telling her to pack him an overnight bag and his medicine because she got him arrested.

[@lavkyn]

@@suzymoroka297 ohhhh

[@cherylschumaker1366]

I was shocked the police didn't intervine I found that t be disdrubing..

[@morganablackwater2017]

​@@cherylschumaker1366 me too... They priority should be to get her to hospital... Wtf

[@linlanda4107]

old man will die alone wanting a glass of water and having no one around

[@SandyCOfficial]

lin landa good

[@Jewelvonmayhem]

aaaaaaaah, diggin that visual...

[@trafficled]

Hope so

[@mrs8792]

lin landa And he will deserve it.

[@melindac3368]

One can only hope.

[@poppykok5]

I'm literally shuddering...This was almost too emotionally painful to watch...My heart goes out to every single individual who has experienced bullying & domestic abuse...

[@maksarkani9867]

You are a wonderful person

[@Youtuber5775-]

My mother told me that the “cast iron” pan is also a great weapon to use if needed and I told my husband that so he knows that I mean it! 😂

[@tebayane843]

I'm currently trying to get out of an abusive situation. Yesterday he pulled a gun on me. I called the police and they sided with him and tried to evict me. I feel victimized by the police also.

[@LKre-vi5oq]

You need to get hold of an advocacy group, find a woman's shelter, and GET OUT!!

[@tebayane843]

@@LKre-vi5oq thank you. I called the domestic violence crisis center and elderly abuse hotline. They are putting me and my dog in a motel tomorrow. Already have everything out of here. Elder abuse woman came today. Very frightening and traumatizing situation. Man is a predator and I didn't see it. Pray for me.

[@charisselinnell-morton2193]

I was in a crazy abusive relationship for 10 years... I left in the middle of the night with the clothes on my back. I started over and never ever went back. It’s been 3 years now and it’s been difficult financially but I would rather be on my own than ever have anyone treat me that way.

[@misslori66]

Aside from the horrific physical injury he caused he has the balls to order her to get his things packed up for him and she complies. If he wasn't jailed for 10 years, she'd probably be dead right now.

[@annmckoy167]

misslori66 qq%

[@flawlessgemini1476]

The biggest balls I've ever seen! He would kill her dead if he weren't in jail

[@nevadagrace3514]

I would have told him to shove the suitcase up his ass

[@kathykruse2458]

Unless you have been there don't judge. They will never change

[@roxannam9345]

I don’t judge her I judge him.

[@poopsydo8052]

I was in an abusive relationship at 17 years old, he being 33. It was a fast progression I barely had time to realise what was happening. In six months I had systematically pushed everyone away & had no one in my corner, all my own doing without realising how badly he had me trapped. In no time he was the only person in my life, I never saw or spoke to my friends, I barely contacted my family who would have helped me, I had no phone, I lived with him and never left the house unless I walked (I had no car) to the local milkbar, terrified, and would quickly come back before he got home from work. The first time he physically attacked me - he had told me he would drive me to work at 8am the next morning so I get up, get ready, nicely try to wake him up (there had been no fight or argument the night before.) He got up, strangled me, threw me to the ground then stood on my neck until I passed out. I woke up, he was eating breakfast & acted like nothing had happened. I quit my job. My last lifeline to the outside world. He apologised & said he would support me, I fell for it thinking he didn't mean it & he was offering to help me. How nice. At the time I had no idea what was happening but in hindsight he was systematically removing me from the outside world. A year later of constant physical abuse to the point where the last time I ever saw him I had to literally run for my life - I finally left. I am now 30 & have recently received an apology from him through Facebook. I feel vindicated, nobody believed me (including the police) & 13 years later I have had some form of acknowledgment of what I suffered. The way these abusers corner you mentally is astounding, if you have not suffered in an abusive relationship you have no idea how trapped you are. I thought he would hunt me down & kill me, eventually I thought escaping & being killed would be better than daily abuse. I feel for the women who never get out, it's not as easy as pack a bag and see ya later. It's so much more complicated than that. I still live with emotional turmoil from that situation but it no longer affects my life as it did for years. I have two beautiful kids, a beautiful home & a happy life but I will always carry that part of my life with me.

[@Sinailionspride]

He only applogized to try to weasel his way back to you in my opinion.

[@chicky-ek9gq]

Pedophiles are Not the only ones who should have to Register . Anyone who Kills another Or Abuses Another Person Should also have to Register They people do get out of Prisons . And go Shopping Online , They Tend to be Deceivers to Sucker other People into their Web of Abuse

[@blueberryfuzz406]

I'd love a Narcissistic register as well as DV and all the other kinds of abuse. I think years of emotional abuse/control etc is just as bad if not worse than the Physical stuff sometimes.

[@Jewelvonmayhem]

why? cause you can see the bruises?

[@Jewelvonmayhem]

Exactly, It's impossible for "normal" people to understand why victims stay, because they haven't experienced it. I still can't wrap my mind around what happened to me myself. Just try to imagine the amount of brain damage it would take for a normal healthy woman to have anything to do with a man who hit her. That's why I believe mental is worse than physical abuse.

[@mazieg7072]

I never thought of that,but it is an excellent idea!!!

[@Rayofstorm]

chicky1785 great idea!

[@DAirey]

"I love her like hell!" I can't disagree with that. His kind of love is hellish.

[@janicehoff2865]

I was trapped for 6 years and this was 46 years ago and I still have flashbacks and triggers. To this day he doesn't see he did anything wrong and has told our grown sons he never did anything. They were 2 and 6 months when I finally broke free only to be terrorized with threats of burning the house down with the boys and I in it.

[@jaelamaduin7471]

My god! The dead sound of shock in her voice when she first asked for help. That killed me. Some hidden, detached part of herself was crying out for help. That is one of the true faces of trauma. Its quiet, and dead inside. That does NOT mean everything is OK. Law enforcement truly needs to listen for that.

[@saraallison9469]

jaela conley wonderful comment

[@robertward8130]

A high percentage of police officers are abusive to their mate.

[@thecelticcrone7927]

jaela conley ... So extremely True!! But then again...a Lot of Us Survivors, were Raised to Believe that Abuse, in All of its forms, IS WHAT WE DESERVE. Little by little, our Self-Esteem & Our Self-Preservation Instincts become Non-Existent. And we're left with the Flat Affect to HIDE the Smallest Glimmer of Hope.

[@Jewelvonmayhem]

trudat

[@theBigLubarski_1977]

@@robertward8130 A high percentage of assholes are abusive to their mate.

[@cherrywhite8885]

Have you seen her injuries ? Don't excuse him he's probably been doing this for a very long time . I bet you each woman that he's been with has gone through this . Give me a break !

[@evebeaumont]

What a blast from the past this video was! My dad controlled all of us until we were sixteen and left, mum stayed until he died at the age of 84, there was nothing we could do to help her, she refused our help. Dad played the blame game several times a day, threatened and punched us, he made our lives miserable but what I didn't get was why he wanted to be miserable too, he got what he wanted but it didn't make him happy. And just like the monster in your video, dad acted like a spiteful child and thought we should be making his life easier and better for him, it was all about what he wanted and needed. Dad never said 'Goodnight' to his children, he warned 'if you smell smoke tonight, stay in your beds and curse your mother for upsetting me.' Pig. I still have sleep problems 40 years later.

[@heathershaw879]

I’m so proud of you for getting out and speaking your truth, you are a amazing person

[@karlagarcia1851]

So sorry ❤️‍🩹 you suffered through such horrible things. Your such a brave strong person to leave at such young age . God bless you Hope all break that generational curse’s

[@evebeaumont]

@@karlagarcia1851 Thank you, it was hard but worth it

[@angelaberni8873]

I'm so sorry for your pain .

[@dananmckie9253]

He is crying in self pity because he might go to jail She is battered black and blue Yet he thinks it’s normal Jail is the only sensible outcome for him This my honest opinion

[@janetalderson8878]

i know this is wrong but ...every woman should own a cast iron frying pan....... and use it !!!!!! my husband lifted his arm to hit me ......once............he was saying who do you think is boss ? itold him i quit and if he was going to hit me he;d better make it good because if i got up he would be a dead man .........and i meant it .........this was the end of my marriage and my children and i went on alone ...........

[@traceyh3627]

Janet Alderson Good for you Janet ,it takes alot for someone to do what you did especially when kid,s are involved.I was in a similar situation. .I hope you and kids are finally happy. G,B

[@OfftoShambala]

Agreed

[@HisMiraclesHappening]

Amen!

[@patriciaroysdon9540]

Janet, I hope you have or get your children back. They would be better off with you, I'm thinking.

[@mieshawalker5345]

Janet Alderson.

[@brandyb2931]

My aunt used to be married to a man who beat her and when I saw the Dawn here and her injuries it reminded me of when we went to the ER because her husband had been beating her so badly that she had been in and out of conciousness for 3 days and her husband finally called my uncle and told him to come get his sister before she died on their couch. She looked every bit like that, hair matted with blood, when we went to gather her things from the home the trailer wall in the living room was completly bowed in like this ( because he had picked her up and repeatedly thrown her body into it. There was blood on the tv because he picked it up and threw it on her. It was a miracle she did not die. She never went back after that thank god, because she had always before. He told her he would kill her one day when she least expected it, he said he would show up and kill her. The son of a bitch finally died may he rest in hell.

[@rebeccadeane2774]

My daddy got killed when i was 9...thank god...the best day of my life ever..and im 51 yrs...

[@paulaann7952]

i survived 19 years of abuse. both physically and mentally. my heart goes out to all these people. i'm unable to watch any more. i still bear the scars

[@rosereyes7083]

Paula Ann me too Paula Ann me too

[@veronicalawrence5725]

I hope you feel peace soon

[@rosereyes7083]

Veronica Lawrence thank you so much...im getting there..I pray you are too..😘

[@sametoyoutoo8509]

It is weak to stay....

[@veronicalawrence5725]

Claire 01 fear can cause dreadful anxiety and lead to weakness.....

[@kirked007]

Police in the very first case were pathetic. They should have taken him straight out to the police car so she could talk freely without the revolting husband being able to interfere.

[@maynan3]

kirked007 totally agree. Should’ve put her in the car so he couldn’t demand she get his things.

[@Automedon2]

actually it turned out to be beneficial to have that control scenario on film.

[@mariadoyle-sofola8583]

A friend of mine left her abusive partner drove a couple of hours to a garda station they arranged for her to stay in a local refuge for women, another senior guard rang her husband and told him where she was and the address of the refuge

[@NoName12344o]

Maria Doyle - Sofola wtf, what is wrong with them

[@sharondavis4120]

Death is a safety outlet my abuser dead also

[@rhyshodgson6358]

Dawn is such a strong women and she’s incredibly brave for what she did I hope she enjoys her freedom and heals emotionally

[@lilyosiris8133]

no matter how old he is no excuse to beat up a woman like that its cowardly and pathetic he is a maniac

[@Automedon2]

He has probably been beating women all his life.

[@paulette87]

what sort of police are they he's still abusing her in front of them by ordering her around and making her gets his things while she's obviously still in shock

[@terryhappy3337]

AND WITH BROKEN RIBS!

[@s.wright6945]

Surely you mean what evil cunt could do this to another human being? No! Just stupid police bashing! You have no idea how Police deal with Dom violence, they deal with these evil bastards day in day out and know what they are doing. She was too scared to go to A&E, or did you miss that? When she did finally agree to go to hospital the police stayed with her to make her feel safe, they were able to record his controlling abusive behaviour on their bodycam which is used in the trial. The police spent four hours persuading her to make a statement which resulted in him getting av10 year prison sentence. She said the police were fantastic! So you don't know what you're talking about!!

[@jumanjiday7970]

They were recording the abusers lack of duty of care .his indifference proves it.

[@cocobutterchin6768]

They should have taken her to the ER ASAP. They should have told him to get his own things.

[@Fastforzacars]

If this was in 1900s the police would of battered him

[@honeydate]

Growing up with a violent drunk for a father is something you NEVER forget or forgive. We watched as he brutally beat our mum every Friday and would cruelly belittle her. The PTSD my sisters and I suffer is lifelong and we feel cursed when things go wrong in our lives. I was actually relieved to hear that he had passed because we and many women were safe from the demon he was.

[@evelynezachary4310]

domestic abuse is horrible I was very lucky to get away from my abuser and live my life the way I want to live it.

[@shirleycooper5674]

Evelyne Zachary I too am a survivor. I barely escaped with me and my children's lives.

[@ariellealexander8132]

I warned him if he ever choked me again, I will pull my knife next time... The next abusive ass wipe made me snap and fold him in half, my claws shredded him and he tried to sue me... He only landed four strikes... Well... The girl that stole him from me almost got beaten to death and had to get a restraining order against him... I warned her... I'm passive, soft and I'm generally afraid of everyone. They mistake that for a tolerance to abuse... Stay strong

[@ranstra12]

Arielle Alexander the girl that 'stole' him from you? You still wanted that low life bum? She did you a favour. She rescued you. Be grateful to her.

[@sharondavis4120]

I escaped when my hubby found his gf was grateful for her she saved my kids and my lives now he is dead we survived and yes I got counselling

[@muffyrayenette5103]

My aunts husband hit her and she gutted him open like a fish. My great aunt was abused and she broke a butcher knife off in his back one of my great, great,great,great...ect. aunts was the 1st woman hung in Tennessee for hacking her hubby to bits and hanging his head in the tree in her yard. My husband tried to hurt me and 2generations of these strong women are still making his life hell. If we're raised in our strength we are fine if we're raised being told we're weak and victims this happens. Edit: it's not your fault if you've been raised in the weakness mind wash, we all have, the entire world still does it.

[@obliviondarkheart5211]

Here is a list of what Abusers/Narcissists usually do to their targets : - Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke. - When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim. - Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not. - They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right. - Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical. - They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection. - Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target. - They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing). - They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!). - Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything. - Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help. - When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors. - Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them. - They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior. - They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer. - They think they are models to be followed. - They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief. Please share this message to other people and forums. We have to raise awareness!

[@dennysmith4396]

Oblivion Darkheart ...describes my brother totally....due to unforseen circumstances I have had to rely on his help.... narcissist of note! Yr description apt... his wife died sum time ago... poor thing must've gone thru hell.... imagine having to hve intimate relationship wth such low lifes....sad...sad.... sad....

[@Sreid9981]

Oblivion Darkheart I’m going through all of this what you have mentioned 😢

[@Jewelvonmayhem]

ABSOLUTELY SHARING. Thats my X to a T! I still can't believe I lived with that for 10 years.

[@blueberryfuzz406]

Yep just got out of a 12 year relationship with one :'(

[@Jewelvonmayhem]

I'm so sorry, Blueberry Fuzz, but happy for you to be free! Theres alot of good information and self help available on youtube. I can't get over how MANY OTHER PEOPLE HAVE MET GUYS LIKE MY X, it's truly shocking, theyre all over! I've learned so much about narcissism from videos, and it never ceases to amaze me how they all do varying degrees of basically the same patterns of shit, like they're following the same script. They charm you like they do everyone untill they get comfortable, then the mask comes off. I've been through 2 horrible bastards, the second beginning in 2000 before everyone had computers. Thanks to the internet, this info more easily to find. if i knew then what i do now, i never would have let either prick into my life . STAY STRONG

[@beccablack6807]

That amount of calm is called shock

[@karenlathim9379]

Abuse was my life for 33yrs. Don't come to an abused partner/spouse with "why did you stay" if you've not stood in their shoes you have NO idea. I left with 3 children many times only to be hunted and dragged back. Always isolated. I am free now, physically. The mental scars DON'T HEAL. I now suffer physical damage I have to live with daily to remind me about what it means to hear " I Love you".

[@MT-rg2qz]

Can you please give me advice on what made you decide to leave after 33 years. My girlfriends mom is married to her POS dad and he used to beat her, her mom and her brother. And he’s a registered sex offender but her mom won’t leave him. How can I be of support to her mom?

[@Random-xw1fg]

I feel for you and happy you are free now. I genuinely want to know why can't victims of dv leave??

[@Joe-jo7fk]

I do know. Left an abusive home at 15 for good. If a child can do it an adult sure can.

[@timhaddrell4457]

Bless you 🙏

[@tessamurphy4616]

Violence against women and children is a crime verbal abuse is a crime to.☺

[@poppyfield1619]

You are completely right emotional and verbal abuse leaves inner scars only those who have experienced it themselves can see

[@studiot7480]

When the male cop comes - the man starts to cry, and yet he beat the living daylights out of his wife

[@rose4490]

It's because that old man is just a little bitch.

[@GhostsQueen85]

That's what abusers do, they act like they're the victim

[@Annie261.]

Cowards

[@katiobrien7854]

I so wish we had had this level of understanding back in the 60s. I endured 20 years before I could get away, and both of my daughters bear the scars of my abuse. I see by the comments that I'm not the only woman to see this after they have gotten out of the situation. God bless us all for our courage to walk away. And God help those who have not walked away to find the courage to do so.

[@BS-dq1kz]

Kati OBrien I’m glad you got out. I am a child too, like your daughters, of a dysfunctional abusive home. It really effects the kids also. As you already know.

[@nasreenshan5598]

Well done to you love hope it's all good now

[@sarthakmajumder1059]

I m glad n happy that you are ok.

[@Germatti13489]

I did but I had to plan my escape for two years. There was no help, even in the early 80s!

[@luzhernandez5321]

I watched my father physically assault my mother on numerous occasions. She tried and tried to get a court order to get him out but in the early 90's no one took it seriously as well, or maybe because we were a Hispanic family who knew little English. We we're finally free from him when my mom decided to use self-defense. She did time in jail as well as he did and we finally were able to get the order that we needed. He returned a few times for months. We were all so scared for months. Always wondering if he'll come back to finish the job.

[@janetmalcolm4697]

Love her like hell?? STOP giving her hell then!!

[@mcrainbowoeslak1603]

Janet Malcolm I bet hell’s gonna love him...

[@124Nightwing]

I've been abused by my father, mostly verbal abuse, but I think I'm lucky that we left while I was still young. I still see him sometimes, and I think I'm slowly forgiving him, but I will never forget and I refuse to ever fully trust him.

[@EvolIqA]

That poor poor woman I m heartbroken seeing this

[@MsJustme1953]

It is hard for those being abused. I was raised in an abusive home and swore that I would never allow a man to hit me once I was old enough to get out. The problem is that it is hard to have a loving trusting relationship with someone after being raised in that environment. Whoever has been in this situation needs to receive mental help to help prevent them from getting into another one.

[@Twilight24682]

It happens to men too don’t make it out to be a women only problem

[@NancyMountainMansSis]

me me I grew up in it two. It took me 46.years to realize their was a connection between dad beating mom and my 3 failed marriages. Im in my 4th year of therapy. No one knows what we feel unless they have been through it.

[@PaperMario64]

me me excellent comment. Women raised in abusive homes consciously know it’s wrong and never want that, but subconsciously the familiarity of these kinds of men lure them in. Especially when he’s a charming narcissist that love bombs and mirrors you in the beginning.

[@punklockets1563]

@me me I agree. I had the same abusive father, who hit my mum also. One angry man he was, especially in our younger years. It's been hard for me to have a loving, trusting relationship with a man. Im 50 now and my last partner was controlling, jealous, bi polar narc, who isolated me. He beat me up and tried to blind me. I got out and left him. He commited suicide 3 years ago. I have met someone else, but im very guarded. Also receiving doctors help.

[@BS-dq1kz]

me me Same situation here in my life. I agree with you. It causes emotional scars.

[@trishmckenzie8780]

I was physical abuse by my step-mother for several years and when i finally told my school teacher what was happening no one believe me because i don't bruise. I ran away and my aunty and uncle raised me and believed me.

[@وردالجنها]

Escaped and left everything behind.... now I'm rebuilding (ME) with the help of God I'm better,happier, healthier and on the right path 💙

[@tezsgino]

Hope you find your peace, my sister.💕

[@PaperMario64]

May God continue to help you and bless your come back

[@lailanipornasdoro3231]

ورد الجنه ا yessss you did it!

[@belindasmith4763]

Which god did you choose... because you survived all by yourself....

[@naceraher9632]

Keep quiet!!

[@sarahlangham1401]

What a lady .... your worth so much more sweetheart 💔

[@kathryncarter6143]

Sad, but so true. They will have an intense desire to destroy the mother/child relationship. It's not just physical abuse. It's the verbal, mental, financial, & undue emotional abuse. They are cruel, immature, uncaring, & very selfish on the abusers part.

[@QTARUBA]

Thanks to each and every woman in this documentary... my respect♥️

[@wandac042568]

God I love being single

[@MiamiPush2theLimit]

wandac042568 lol I feel relieved watching this.

[@lailanipornasdoro3231]

wandac042568 do love your nephews sister.when you get old someone will taking care of you. God bless..

[@JediJan]

Better single than abused any day yes, but there are plenty good men out there too, that don't deserve to be prejudged.

[@joany11swatch14]

Me too. I’ve been single for years now and love it. I gave up on relationships. If any man laid his hands in me that way I’d end up in jail cause I’d kill him.

[@JediJan]

@Bill TiptonFree speech and all that, but I don't think your comment really belongs in a video about domestic abuse. In past times the plight of abused women and children were largely ignored. Ask any of the older women, your mother and grandmothers, and they will tell you that once married they were expected to put up and shut up. They had to ignore what they witnessed or the appearance of their neighbours, covered in bruises, on a regular basis. If you ask I am sure they could tell you details of what they know or if not, they still expect these things should not even be spoken of. I feel sure you wouldn't want a return to those times?! Most of us appreciate the fact that there is more support for the abused; more speaking out against it, more laws there to protect the rights of the abused. Although some abusers still think their behaviour is right and just, as in the example above. I don't think things are more difficult for most males, just that there are laws out there now to stop those that think nothing of crossing the line. Years ago, not so long ago in western culture, there was even no such thing as rape in marriage. If you have problems ascertaining what the line actually is then it wouldn't hurt to seek more information. I know my father spoke to my brothers about behaviour towards women, well before they started dating. None of those turned into abusers. Schools today cover topics such as bullying, sexist behaviours, equality, racism, prejudices etc. Most people are better informed.

[@kellygreene3717]

I can’t understand how that cop said that those were the worst injuries he’d ever seen in his career and didn’t understand how she wasn’t killed.... but he never called for an ambulance! The moment they saw her face the next words should have been “We need medical assistance”

[@kimberlyhope1066]

My ex used fear against me but this woman (me) crawled out of the hell of abuse and learned to live again! This isn't LOVE and if someone is hurting you GET OUT any way you can! I am now married to a sweet kind man and I'm finally at peace!

[@trinnyhiggs9038]

+Kimberly Hope same here hun ,freedom at last,life is sooooooo good x,,,well done you xxx

[@82kks]

Same for me , much happier now just me and my kids

[@linzianna]

3 times this has happened to me, even after you escape the perpetrator the emotional effects never leave you, my children and I went through hell

[@PaperMario64]

Salvation Station im sorry you and your children had to endure that. I’m glad you escaped.

[@MKpixelfan]

10 years in prison. Brilliant!

[@Dandlion37]

When my husband rolled over asleep in bed early in the morning, I could tell by the way he breathed, what type of day I was in for - even before he woke up. He used to play mind games, then tell my GP, my few friends and his family that I had mental problems.

[@PaperMario64]

Dandylion37 omg. that emotional and psychological abuse is just as painful as physical. These Narcissists are experts at manipulation and mind games. They do it for pleasure. They are sick, but they can’t keep their sickness to themselves, they have to try to make you sick too.

[@kiuakakirstine8257]

I’m so happy for Dawn that she managed to get away from that bastard. I don’t know why they need a statement - her bruises tells the whole story and if the police haven’t rescued her on Michaels birthday, they probably only had her corpse to tell the story. Sometimes the police and social system has to be the vitness if the abused are so afraid that they can’t give evidence in court.

[@juanitarichards1074]

I wasn't easily controlled by my abusive ex and this drove him crazy. I stood up for myself verbally and this sent his rage spiraling out of control. The abuse got worse when he knew I didn't love him any more and that I would escape as soon as I could. He obsessed about and stalked me for years after I did leave.

[@dreama8996]

So did I. But they said why we put up w it. We risk our life fighting it tooth & nail & we run & run & hide & hold our breath & keep ppl away from us so bc we know he'll see us. But theres comes a point of brutality & sadness & control & apathy & exhaustion that we HAVE TO put up w a lot & biild ourselves from rest & only way to get rest is to submit until strength is built & final boundary is crossed yet again.

[@juanitarichards1074]

@@dreama8996 I was trapped in a foreign country where it was illegal for either parent to take the children out of the country. I had no money. My family back home wouldn't help......it took a lot of planning and outside help which by some miracle arrived just at the right time.....

[@dreama8996]

Same here. But the only reason we made it was by our blind Faith giving us that will... and... because he let you - they let us get away- maybe it was the fear of God in them. Who knows. I think it was so they could keep feeding the monster.

[@juanitarichards1074]

@@dreama8996 He was an atheist and so am I. He didn't let me go, he thought I was trapped and could never get out. He thought he could treat me any way he liked and there was nothing he could do about it. But he didn't know who I knew and was secretly in contact with. And they had body guards and hiding places and the power to get my children and I out of the country without his knowing. Believe me, he would have killed us all rather than let is go. And after I escaped he targeted the people who helped me by stalking them, stalking their kids going to and from school, threatening phone calls......he had a whole posse of his friends stalking these people.......and months later after I arrived home to NZ and didn't even have a phone, he used the NZ Police, twice, to stalk me by giving them a BS story that they bought.........

[@juanitarichards1074]

@Jackfrost Yes thank you. 30 years of peace without him.

[@rustyanneyakel]

Been there. .. you don't leave, you escape

[@anonymousperson8441]

RustyAnne Yakel exactly!

[@debbierabe1756]

You are so right. ESCAPE is the word. I lived captive in abuse for years .left for dead, loaded guns to my head, and you dont just get up and leave. Beaten so badly, you cant defend yourself. You can even get up from the floor. So much more i could tell you, but its still a nightmare in my life. Its so scary to take the first step to escape, but once you're out, you always look over your shoulder. Most people have goals in their lives, people who are abused have one goal. Its to escape alive. I cant stand hearing about this. I feel for all of you. I wish you the best and find happiness . Hugs to you going through this.

[@alisonnobody229]

RustyAnne Yakel : I pretended I was coming back, I knew if he thought I was leaving for good he wouldn't have let me leave. I even managed to cry as I hugged him goodbye - I remember sitting in the departure lounge of the airport, he couldn't follow me in, I'd escaped, I was gone and no one knew that I was escaping

[@elisawestvirginiamountainm1019]

You are so right and it is terrifying, wondering if he is going to catch you.

[@VGiacobe]

I'm trying to escape..

[@lekre8421]

Another thing I do not feel is mentioned enough; these predators actively and knowingly select women with low self- esteem, or who were raised in a background of violent males; it all furthers the abusers ability to beat them to a pulp, and know that the victim will rarely get legal help. So glad that Dawn did the right thing and got that pond-scum Michael behind bars for ten years. Good for her. Good on the cops for helping her out so much. Hope he died in prison.

[@kjtamf]

Le Kre 👍🏻🙏🏻❤️

[@jeanettekorzenko4958]

Not necessarily, they tend to prey on anyone. Mostly kind caring people who have a good life they leech on & suck the life out of us. As well as beat choke punch, & we try to take the moral high ground. They literally are split personality. When the cops come they suddenly become quiet & meek and the cops in the US believe their lies. Then when you are upset, they think it's your fault. He stole my child, & please pray that I get her back.

[@songbirdforjesus2381]

@@jeanettekorzenko4958 yes Jeanette I will

[@jeanettekorzenko4958]

@@songbirdforjesus2381 Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! 🙏,❤️

[@verenamaharajah6082]

Anyone who thinks emotional and mental abuse is not as bad as physical abuse clearly has never experienced it.

[@noevilea8370]

Give me 5 minutes in a room he cant escape from. I don't give flying F--k about the age difference.

[@corpsebrideemilie69]

thank u

[@noevilea8370]

+Selene Corvin i come from a family of abuse. 2 violent alcoholic parents and a brother that killed his school mate around age 7

[@rosemarieaikens9190]

Noevilea n

[@rosemarieaikens9190]

Noevilea n

[@ParanormalKs]

I hope that Old Bastard went away and stayed away

[@MsJustme1953]

After reading some of the comments I would like to add that people should not abuse anyone. People are NOT punching bags.

[@martihogg5622]

I am going through this living he'll now and I see no way out. Where does one turn? I have no one to turn.

[@rachelwalker5959]

I grew up hearing my stepfather choking my mother at night while we were all supposed to be sleeping. When I was around 10 I told her I could hear it, and 2 weeks later she grabbed my brother and I and left in the middle of the night. Left everything except one bag each, and our neighbour took us straight to the police station hiding in the back of his car, and then we flew out the next day to my grandparents home. It wasn't until I was an adult I recognised what a large amount of courage that took, as well as to leave her 3 step-children with that horrid man.

[@AlaskanAndie]

My SECOND time seeing this and I'm SHOCKED EVERYTIME I SEE HER FACE!!!

[@ballerina703]

Most men seem to think they have the right ,and laugh about it with the (boys)

[@MANIESALWAYSGOING]

Andrea Gaye Scott Westfall I feel the same way! She so calm, I don't think I could ever remain calm like that.😞😞

[@AmyCCloverlanez]

Me too!!

[@arnetrahughes2277]

I mean...he didn't smack her around. He beat her like he hated her.

[@sshms414]

Bit concerning she w asnt given immediate medical attention and police let her walk about

[@mcrainbowoeslak1603]

Sonia Simpson Maybe because they thought the guy could potentially be dangerous in the situation if they didn’t take it slow? 🤔

[@susanflowers7425]

OMG Dawn! Thank God you were FINALLY able to get out. I hope you see this, and know that there's someone out there praying for you. God Bless you Sweet Lady.

[@Spacefrog76]

Can we also please remember that domestic violence happens in all types of families. Some groups of people are at a higher risk, but it's not just the domain of the poor and uneducated as per the media stereotype. It affects young and old, wealthy and poor, lower, middle and upper classes, all races and religions. It doesn't require bruises or shouting, it can be totally silent. Sadly, chances are you know someone who is being or has been abused... or is an abuser. It's a pandemic.

[@susanleitch8649]

You will rise above this Dawn. You're already on your way. He isn't worth your regret or one single tear. Stay strong girl. He can't hurt you any more. Ever.

[@angela-nf6yi]

I faced dv and sv for 19 years. I had to leave my home with my 6 year old son to get away. Unfortunately police failed us. He came after me at my work with an iron bar and only got a caution. I'm saddened by the stories of women that didn't survive their nightmare. POLICE need to help more to stop this horror.😢

[@delbobs123]

I don't care how old he is, he's a violent abuser. Look at the state of her face! If there is a hell he's going straight there on the number nine bus.

[@cherienicolelegg]

My ex used to call the house just to see if I picked up the phone. The asking to use the toilet was another. I had to dress the way my ex wanted me to. He used to choke me out and punch me. I'm now married to a wonderful man. 12 yrs now. And it took years for me to stop asking to do something. Occasionally I still flinch from him. It upsets him and me. 13 yrs after my ex and some unconscious part of me still reacts.

[@saraallison9469]

Cherie Legg I'm so sorry cherie

[@PrimateProductions]

Cherie Legg some "subconscious" part of you that still reacts...not unconscious... unconscious means you are knocked out, blacked out, completely unaware of your surroundings. Subconsciously means somewhere in the back of your mind, in a hidden part of your mind causing you to do something without even thinking about it! Sorry, just a big pet peeve of mine to see people so frequently misuse and misunderstand those words! Glad to hear you are doing so much better now!

[@killiendergamer963]

Cherie Legg hugs babe😢. I'm so happy you can share this with us and that you are in a happier place. just keep swimming darling.

[@4GodsPeople]

Cherie Legg I'm so sorry

[@vaniaeterovic]

I am so sorry

[@juanitarichards1074]

Ironically, it was my wanting to go and do volunteer work for a newly opening women's refuge that set the scene for the demise of my marriage. And I'd got a part time job as well. Within weeks he sabotaged that and threatened to come and punch my boss up if I didn't leave. He deliberately made me late for work and he even set minders on me to make sure that I didn't go to work when he wasn't home. It only made me all the more determined to get out, and I did soon after.

[@daydreammountaingirl1934]

People say "why don't they just leave?" Then when we do we loose everything (both financial and emotional), and he walks away with everyone patting him on the back and supporting him in every way. We have no one there for us. So it feels like first we are abused and then we are punished for it.

[@ranstra12]

daydreammountaingirl Yes. Often they put on a good show in front of others. Friends think he is a great guy. They do not suspect what he is like behind closed doors. So you must be a bitch if you leave him.

[@dramatriangle]

Freedom is worth everything, in my experience.

[@janburn007]

The idea is that women don't only leave these abusive relationships, but they also press criminal charges against their abusive partners - that way others won't be patting the abuser on the back. What is the "emotional" support you would lose by leaving? Surely you're not referring to emotional support from the abuser - which is worth nothing anyway. Yes, there might be some necessary financial sacrifices - but surely it will be worth it for the sake of your own physical safety & that of any children - & there are organisations out there which can help you to escape from the abuser. I can't stress how important it is for all abuse to be documented in writing by the victim & shared with other people - because often abusers are very clever at restricting their abusive behaviour to their spouse &/or children & they present a completely different façade to their colleagues at work, church, on sporting teams etc. Often these outsiders will have the impression that these abusers are nice guys, because outsiders never get to see their abusive behaviour. And that's why it's important to document from the outset, any & all abusive behaviour & let other people know. Don't let everyone else just go on thinking he's a nice guy, when he's clearly not.

[@swordnquilstarskgrem]

Many times, it *is* everything. He threatens to keep your children, children who he himself abuses but when you try to call the cops on him for that, if not yourself, he intimidates them so much that they absolutely deny and excuse every abusive act, knowing if they don't, it'll only get worse for them He controls your finances, every single penny you have. So if you leave, what do you have? The clothes on your back, no money, the knowledge that you're going to get stuck in a shelter, IF you can find one that will take you (and your kids, if you can manage to escape with them, too), with absolutely not a penny in your name? Plus the fact that these abusers are very cunning. They don't pick women like you, Elizabeth. they pick women whose self worth is so low to begin with that they absolutely believe that without a man in their lives, they simply cannot function as a human being. Even getting abused isn't enough to make them leave, because everything the abuser does is calculated to make the woman further believe in her own self worthlessness. So, she tells herself he's doing it out of love, and if she has to go through all this, at least she's not alone. It's sad, but it's true for so many. Women AND men, but moreso women because society still teaches women that they're nothing without a man. As do their mothers.

[@OfftoShambala]

daydreammountaingirl yes I have been through it... they can still abuse u after u leave if u have children with them

[@pamelaworley4122]

I used to work at a spouse abuse center, and I would see women and children arrive with just the clothes on their backs. It was a rule you aren't allowed to let the spouse know where you are. But some women were so controlled and beaten down physically and mentally they would still let their spouses know. People would ask why don't they leave? Answer: being beaten down makes you dependant on the only person who has controlled your life.

[@Trixie287]

Nobody believed me, what being beated down really means. My mother wanted me to be mentally broken, thats what she often yelled to me. Then the beatings started with fists, i was 3 years old. Once i couldnt breath, she rushed out of the room, leaving me behind. Thanks for posting this ,

[@JulieSevelson-nb9nj]

​@@Trixie287Oh,thats terrible,Trixie ! No kids ever deserve to be beaten or yelled at like that. Child abuse is illegal, ans many survivors do go wfter their abusive parents legally, and press charges for physical and other kinds of abuse. I hope for your futures' sake, you can cut off your mother,who is no mother at all when they beat you like that. Lots of people go no contact with such parents.

[@sandrawinfrey5176]

Bless those officers who were kind but persistent

[@oloribose692]

LIVING WITH SOMEONE IS LIKE ENSLAVING YOURSELF TO SOMEONE, I WILL NEVER LIVE WITH A MAN , I AM HAPPYLIVING ALONE, BE A BABY MAMA IS BETTER THAN TO BE A WIFE.

[@oakiediaries9907]

Sad, there’s some truth to this 😳

[@jillhoskins9966]

I hear you...I've made it almost to 60 without being "captured!" Single life is the only way to go for me! Don't like to cook or clean, never wanted children...so why get married or have a male housemate?

[@reneeleighkaraoke]

Me too. I will not live with a man either.

[@ziggymorris8760]

I was in a family like this where my step father abused my mother for 9 straight years until he nearly killed her. I couldn't do anything because I was a little kid, but he made the mistake of bullying my mother at a court hearing in that waiting room with knowing I was there and he got the beating of his life from me. You never hit a women, I don't care the reason, real men don't hit women, especially if it's your mother or sister etc. You will pay dearly down the road like he did. ❤️ Peace and love to you all ❤️

[@SA-pm8pn]

God bless you.

[@PaperMario64]

Thank you for the comment. I know he didn’t expect that!

[@shiralleehaggart72]

God bless you. Hope your mother is coping well now.

[@janetkincade1735]

😊

[@sandrasilcott5361]

😊 bless you son❤

[@logansmom1192]

I once had a home health patient who would actually lean over so that her bed fast husband could hit her. She would ask if she could go to the bathroom, etc. I tried to help her understand she did not have to do that, but they were elderly and she had been doing it for 40 or 50 years and I could not convince her she did not have to. It was very sad. I later found myself in a very abusive marriage and did not leave for 11 years. I don’t know, or at least can’t explain why I felt so trapped In the marriage. I am an RN and was very financially able to leave, I just felt obligated to try to work it out. I think in my case it was because he wasn’t abusive everyday or even every week. It was just every month or two.

[@joew518]

SHE IS CALM BECAUSE SHE IS USED TO IT....

[@sandrad8640]

starquant that was uncalled for

[@PrimateProductions]

starquant You are a moron...like the other person said AND the person on the video said, she had become used to the abuse!! It has become such a normal routine part of her life to be treated this way that she goes along with it! This is true of most women in relationships long term...you are the fucking idiot calling other people names for stating and obvious true fact!

[@tourbillon13]

@@starquant And you are obviously bitter as hell and need treatment for PTSD. Being so angry and abusive towards other people who are writing their own views as they are entitled to, makes you visible from bloody space!!!. And just for the record, leave the Wombles out of it. Good luck with your long overdue therapy. Sorry you have suffered so much. I mean that... I'm a member of the Club myself.

[@tourbillon13]

@@starquant I rattled your cage by the looks of it. You get a fucking life. Obviously still angry. Snowflake?!! You don't know the half of it sweetie. Two years have gone by since you posted, yet your comment is still difficult to read. I sincerely hope you can put the past behind you, to a certain degree. It never truly goes away. It's so obvious you are one very unhappy person. And want to make everyone else suffer with you. That's not acceptable. For you or anyone who sticks by you. Prove yourself wrong. If you wish to reply with a load of abuse, go right ahead. This "snowflake" is made of Platinum.

[@ceegabe1555]

starquant You go along with it to live ANOTHER DAY...

[@amaliagrassi6870]

Thank you for posting this. So important. Raise awareness.

[@Twilight24682]

Raise awareness for both male and female victims of domestic violence

[@dianakardum6150]

I was a victim of domestic abuse for about 9 years. I pressed charges everytime and nothing became of it. His family didn’t believe he would do that. I am happily divorced for over 32 years and have two beautiful daughters that went with me. He was and is very sick.

[@btlmania64]

Bless you . Hope you are happy now !

[@dianakardum6150]

Very happy, thank you!

[@susanford2388]

If a man attacked a random female, he'd be put in prison, hitting ones wife should not be treated any differently. A violent man is a menace in society whether he is a husband or stranger.

[@susiegoodman4425]

Never ever put up with domestic abuse - it is controlling & wicked - please get help !!!!

[@marilynwatene1480]

Scary. I have lived it. I feel for any one who lives with this kind of terror. What is also scary is people around you might not want to 'get involved" so when they hear screams, they just don't do anything...in fear for themselves. Horrible situation. Luckily I have a good husband now who treats me with respect and love. I pray every woman can find this for herself.

[@DorothySbornak]

Having been through domestic violence years ago this brings it all back. Until you go through it you don't and can't understand. I left him 8 years ago after he set me up and had me arrested. He moved a woman in that very night. He became scary jealous telling me I could never leave him and replaced me in an instant. Thank God my children and I got away. He shows up randomly wanting me back then goes off. I guess he realizes what he lost. He married the woman as soon as I divorced him and right after they split for good it seems. He's gotten worse on drugs, doesn't have a job, a place to live, nor a car. They make you think you need them when all along they need you. If you are reading this and you're a victim get out. It will never get better only worse. I have never found love again but it's not from a lack of trying. Its just that I know what I want which is respect and I won't settle for less. These men never change. Much love everybody.

[@4265kitty]

From the age of 16 until 27 I was in a very toxic and scary relationship. I thought because we had 3 kids I would make it work, but everytime I think about how I had escaped death for 11 years I still get goosebumps and just cry. I'm so sorry for putting my kids through all of that and not being strong enough to leave. I'm 37 now and Once upon a time I thought I would never appreciate PEACE because I never experienced things that were PEACEFUL...but now things are PEACEFUL I've learned to appreciate PEACE!!! #GRATEFUL

[@dw1232]

My ex was not a physical abuser but he was mentally and emotionally. I know what you mean by finding peace and appreciating the simple things in life. God Bless!

[@gabbygirl3951]

it's not easy to leave. years of brainwashing has you always seeking their approval. Being their victim becomes your identity, your always walking on egg shells and trying to avoid the next fight. you have been secluded from all family and lost your own identity. Even if you do get away, you almost always go back because your lost without them. You are never good enough for them and are always trying to prove your devotion.

[@warrogue62]

yes exactly..I can tell you have been there also!

[@PlAiNJaNe521]

God! I've never been able to explain to anyone why I stay or always go back. But when I just read your post and it said "always seeking their approval", I felt that in the pit of my stomach.. 🙁😔😢

[@nicoleholley7049]

I had left, but he still came around abusing. I told myself I'm gonna have to take him out.

[@sundragon1976]

Those officers should have told that old man off and said “look at her face!” Tried to embarrass him and make him see that he’s a coward! It wouldn’t have worked, but for a man to let another man know.... would at least be good. What a loser! Seventy something years old and still behaving that way! Smh 🤦‍♀️

[@JediJan]

Yes, he's quite a pitiful warped character to behave like that just because he is too scared to be alone.

[@KingKenTM]

They’re trained on how to deal with those kinds of situations. If they had verbally attacked him, she would’ve started defending a protecting him and they would’ve been ordered to leave with the abuse victim saying nothing happened. The abuse victims are just as (or even more) mentally damaged as the abusers. They don’t live in reality.

[@lin8148]

This happens to so many women who are afraid to say anything

[@cdbray5900]

Afraid, yes. And ashamed. They start with belittling before it ever gets physical. They blame you and convince you that you are worthless and deserve punishment. It's insidious. And on the outside they charm people into believing they are patient with you and you are insane and just causing drama.

[@vinakane3150]

Wow! I swear this has to be the most brutal truthful and insightful domestic abuse documentary I have ever watched!

[@christicrenshaw2772]

the problem is they leave and she really gets it. That is why so many are afraid. It's sad.

[@casse1458]

christi crenshaw yes

[@kimberlyamaclaren9933]

Unfortunately that’s the way PFA’s work ! Oh get a PFA (protection from abuse ) order he will go directly to jail ! Ya ! No kidding , after he VIOLATED the order !!!

[@SFVnative]

That's when you keep a weapon on you at all times.

[@EdelweissM_TheJourney]

I am glad she was able to call for help and that it did arrive!

[@judyglover408]

These psycopaths are so so dangerous... not knowing when they will strike again is one of the hardest things a person can endure...

[@shjakes]

"If it looks too good to be true, then it IS a mirage!" Finding a well-adjusted man is like hitting the lotto...so I'd put any suitor on "probation" (without them realizing it.) I saw domestic violence as a child and to avoid controlling men, I became vigilant as an adult. I made it my duty to be as self-sufficient as possible, postpone "physical interaction" and listen closely to everything they'd say...especially their abstract, philosophical chatter. I met a couple of potential abusers who were far too calculating and manipulative for my liking. They tested my mettle under the guise of being charming and romantic...but while they were studying me, I was analyzing them! Growing up between 3 boys and their friends made me very close with my brothers...so these men soon realized that they were NOT the centre of my world. Another deterrent was the cold, crazy way I'd talk about retaliating against physical abuse: "I won't go toe-to-toe with any man, but if he hits me...he'd better sleep in the sky!" My father controlled my mum's paycheck and abused her. I watched and learnt early that I had to become as self-sufficient as possible. No moving out of my flat to move in with anyone (one fella prevailed upon me to do that) No responding to interrogations like "So what time did you get home last night?" If they declined an invitation to go somewhere I never said another word and would just go on my own. No responding to their repeated requests for a key to my flat (even if they say they would let me have theirs)...and in due course I'd see their true colours. Ladies! Don't ever isolate yourself from your loved ones nor allow a man to monopolize your time...otherwise you'll be embarking on a journey to HELL.

[@manichairdo6346]

Excellent comment. Tfs

[@iheartcici]

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[@ladygrace2741]

Well said sister!

[@JediJan]

@Bill Tipton Try to be a little more understanding Bill. This is not a lady that hates men, but a lady, through obvious past exposure, who is very defensive, very determined not to be abused, or have her children abused or become abusers themselves. Would you rather not more women being strong and ready to fight back or more women being feeble and risk being abused? Rather than quit dating yourself try to see things from the other side. If you are genuine then you will see this through.

[@JediJan]

@Bill Tipton Sorry you think that I was being discriminatory with my comments; I certainly did not mean to sound that way! I read the anger in both her and your comments; two individuals that appear to have turned away from the opposite sex, because of abuse. I believe that is a real shame because there are a lot of good people out there, male and female, that simply don't deserve prejudgement. I simply tried to empathise with her feeling that way. I did not like your reference to the Metoo movement (as much for males as females) though, as that appeared to discredit it. Some things are long overdue in my opinion. Perhaps my meaning was lost in my words, and I should have said things better. Hope I have done a bit better this time. * I have spoken in support of another male who has also suffered domestic abuse from a woman, within this very same KZbin video comments. I certainly don't believe the abuse you have suffered is any less, just because you are male. It is simply never right on any level, whatever sex. If anyone tries to discredit, or belittle, abuse on the basis of sex, to me, will receive my argument. Hope that clarifies things a little. I do hope you have received the support you rightly deserve in dealing with that domestic abuse. If not I hope you find some soon. Regards. *See "Gathering No Moss" comments . 9 mths ago