don't eat the grape candy - Bits and Banter [08/26/2024]

[@tar-138]

Bottom of the NL iceberg: 40 second Weezer recording lost media

[@emi1807]

dan has a comically traditional view on romance

[@Mcmos9000]

Kate is right, proposal should really be something you already know the answer to rather than a “surprise” where you aren’t actually sure if you and your partner have the same level of commitment. Chat are mostly young so they probably imagine it like a movie rather than something that has been “spoiled” by more casually broaching the subject of marriage beforehand.

[@scrums4748]

When I was 13 I had a friend who didn’t know rock paper scissors, so I thought I would teach him. I spent a solid 20 minutes trying to show him how to play before giving up and having my perspective of relative intelligence changed forever.

[@snrken]

he was definitely fucking with you theres no way

[@patrickcleary5923]

this is genuinely the funniest sentence I've had the pleasure of reading all week, thank you god

[@patrickcleary5923]

@@snrken i take it back this thought is funnier

[@scrums4748]

@@snrken I promise you that he wasn’t, he was really good at call of duty though

[@n8mo]

“Gaze upon your member” will be living *rent free* in my head for weeks.

[@williamm.b.lsr.807]

Gaze upon my member ye mighty, and despair

[@hplan7326]

​@@williamm.b.lsr.807You cooked

[@j-mc2144]

34:02

[@Keleva]

Dan's dating advice is so horrifyingly bad, why do people keep bringing this stuff to him 😭

[@malec8517]

He has been married for a decade and has had more women in his DMs then most twitch streamers cause he was/is a reality tv icon and has had women in his DMs for a while. Not saying his has perfect advice, but he isn't far off.

[@AkaRose]

Dan not knowing the difference between a conversation asking if you’re ready to get married and a proposal is kinda wild. You don’t propose if you’re not sure the answer is going to be yes.

[@SpitFir3Tornado]

He said that was his proposal and he gave her a ring... I don't know how people watched that and got it misconstrued as them talking about if they're ready to get married. He clearly said they had already talked about it before and this was him proposing and her answer to the proposal was "not yet".

[@TheFinalByte]

Remind me to not tell Dan how long I've been dating but not married lol

[@dvizr]

Full chat on the left of the Clank window is actual chaos. Now there are two banks of information I can’t read.

[@imperatorg5208]

youtube comments really is a bot based economy huh

[@wyldenites]

Probably 2 maybe 3 at least, and that was 9 mins ago, so no, not a bot based economy

[@ronaldyang2295]

​@@wyldenites how are you so sure? You're all bots HELLLLLLLP HELP ME HEEEEEEEEELP

[@jakeNjohnson]

We're youtube comments, of couse we're in a bot based community huh

[@cloudstrel3847]

bots are pillars of the BGC

[@iamnotjcook]

💕I agree with this comment and love feeling so involved in this com- HEEEEEEELP HELP ME PLEASE

[@derekpapin2181]

I think this is my favorite librarian thumbnail, genuinely laughing out loud 😭

[@ChromeAnubis]

Librarian please help, I spent an hour yesterday trying to find Justin singing “sucking off chilly dudes” and only found a Justin tweet seemingly referencing it and some posts about NL mentioning it. If you know where I can find it or where to look please lmk :)

[@jedlyneis4500]

I currently live in Vietnam and NL speaking about the food here warms my heart. Even though he pronounces it horribly.

[@shankhao2005]

Hello fellow Vietnamese pal and yeah it’s cool to see NL appreciating our food. Also NL pronunciation is bad that is to be expected but genuinely not the worst I’ve heard.

[@OGSumo]

Dan when I ask my partner if they’re comfortable with the pace our relationship is heading and they reply “yes”: THEY ARE LYING AND HOLD SECRET FEELINGS OF DECEPTION. YOU HAVE ALREADY FUCKED UP Dan, brother, they were dating for years. They spoke about marriage and said they’d like to wait/go ahead with it. That’s it. They’re good. There is no “it should have already happened by X years”. What they’re doing is objectively correct because they’re the ones who set the rules and preferences in their relationship.

[@ThatOneIrishFurry]

I need to admit "im skibidi beast" gave me the biggest laugh from a stack overflow of cringe It was amazing

[@WHALEBOY777]

It's funny that NL does phrenology for Twitch global badges lmao

[@TheLibraryofLetourneau]

its such a good bit

[@maxRH11]

1:28:11 I never get ice. I've seen what the inside of those machines can look like.

[@SaltyEmperor]

Another good one, Librarian. Dan is, plain and simple, just a giant troll who sometimes does not understand when some people do not fit into cookie cutter shapes.

[@SaltyEmperor]

Also, do not fret Librarian. Ryan would definitely have you as best man to make sure all the best clips and rants were sifted through and catalogued if he got married today/again.

[@NoName-ns6xr]

Dans dating/relationship advice on mute goes insane

[@2jacked2read]

"hack turret" killed me

[@enki345]

I thought Librarian's name was watanabe wtf

[@wyldenites]

I feel bad for the chatter, saying "ey," when you have to cut in, its a losing battle. Dan was wrong at first, but as soon as he said he proposed in his car after dinner and with NO RING, made me LOSE MY MIND.

[@brush5004]

Peak capeshit was the 2000s justice league animated series and nolan's batman trilogy.

[@ernestchia6704]

grapepilled candymaxxing

[@Philedius]

I love when NL goes off on a rant about something I don't know anything about(wingspan) and then I see joel_joel_joel_joel_joel_'s single joel floating to the top of the screen.

[@j-mc2144]

Into the breach glazing, board game talk, and Group Banter. Goated vod. 4:55 Board Game 25:44 34:02 Gaze upon your member 37:10 jzm to jz 37:52 Malf Segue 1:10:04 NL finds dead subs funny 1:24:20 Deadlock ft QUINN DOTA MENTIONED LFGOO 1:29:46 Macy's Walmart bit lmao 1:31:26 We shootin it in the toilet against evolution 1:36:05 BGG and board games he likes 1:40:50 Holy shit there's no way he actually checks out Spirit Island. Game is way too crunchy. First game I thought of when he mentioned steam board games though. Happy he saw the message.

[@frog6712]

The more I am exposed to this Dan fella the less I care about him. Aren’t you supposed to have a reasonable discussion about where your relationship is headed? It’s either that or a “I bought her this $20k ring and she said no” on r/all. Like, what’s up with the aversion to treating your partner with respect?

[@MrWalrus3451]

Who up gazing upon their member?

[@Phhilu]

I'm so ready for the Dan relationship advice arc to end

[@Shmooper_Dooper]

i’m entertained

[@someguy1507]

I love watching internet strangers ruin their life from other internet people telling them insane shit. /r/meth walked so Dan relationship advice could run.

[@reptofeliator]

Dan can be funny but giving relationship advice when no president from your dating years is still alive is crazy

[@thelastgekko]

Honestly

[@brdwizard2396]

He's right about Into the Breach 100%

[@m_snacket]

WINGSPAN LET'S FUCKING GO

[@the_emigrant]

Everybody talking about how awful Dan's relationship advice is (and I agree absolutely) but we need to talk more about how incredibly based K8's is.

[@wjefoiafjalfkjadfjk7045]

Shordy laying eggs.

[@key-chain]

i literally just had bun bo hue for lunch

[@Xathian]

1:00:25 The horror of the century! the plebes got into the secret club

[@cdw2468]

the gatorade video is so fucking funny

[@TheIcarusGuy]

Of course he wouldn't show the marriage receipt, he doesn't wanna show us he's named Gilbert

[@MosesSuppose]

At this point I have been watching CLANK! gameplay for way too long for me still have absolutely no idea what is going on

[@Shnarfbird]

we're clank guys, of course we know minionese

[@fritzophrenia3146]

I love hot pot, it's really an eating experience with a learning curve. There's an all you can eat hot pot a couple hours away, the first time my wife and I went we absolutely crashed and burned with our order, and our waiter let that shit happen, it was great

[@ThatOneIrishFurry]

"cozy valo swiftplay today" really hit lmao my freind be streaming like that to 10 people a couple times a week and its exactly like that

[@UCOhkTb65TIKrKeKufI8K1Eg]

That whole dan section was annoying both from Dan and from the caller. Bad takes all around, not listening to the caller and yelling.

[@Zythryl]

I shouldn't be surprised but like absolutely zero chatters were acting reasonably about the marriage debacle and it did nothing but piss me off lmao. Pretty much every sentiment anyone but the guy in question put forward, was a sentiment forgetting that those two were together for five long-as years. Half a decade. A fourteenth, or more, of the average person's total lifespan. You can't be like "lol you never talk about proposals out of nowhere" or "why weren't you more aggressive about it" or "lol weird" when all these assume something about the woman's mindset, you can't make an inference based on what you personally *assume* is "normal", especially when how a marriage goes about is a unique, personal series of choices, made by two people, whose cultures and values are random at best. You also can't assume the guy's choice of words when he relays who said what to Dan are literal, like if you took him saying "sure!" to his partner proposing to him literally as he described it to Dan, if you actually think he literally said that, you're probably a narc, because you assumed he did something worse than what you would have done comparatively. You shouldn't make assumptions selfishly, you just respond to the information you're given, you don't insert a mcdonald's parking lot into the setting as it's being explained to you. It's a good case for why you shouldn't take someone seriously when they also believe "a couple should be prepared enough to be married within a year, and no longer", not to mention being a Michigander, which, if you know you know. I also wish the guy would have at least once said "Dan, I'm the one who the woman expressed her views to, not you, so don't assume what she thinks when I'm telling you what she said to me" instead of just going "Ay! ay! ay!". At least it was funny and he probably learned from the whole interaction, but, damn.

[@laylakagiyama]

fr shit was bizarre

[@june.bourque]

Go to hell?

[@AloeVeraJuiceJuice]

Been really enjoying the Dan segments. He is the twitch live guru

[@malec8517]

2:14:00 Won't lie, think K8 and her chat forget that Dan is a big brother icon and has had women in his DMs for the last decade, and if I'm not wrong for most of that time has been with his current partner. Not saying everyone should always follow Dans advice, but as far as our "boomer" streamers go he's got a good idea of what "most modern" women do want.

[@luckyhunt7293]

No, I've seen you say this a couple of times in these comments and I really don't agree with you. Even if he's "had women in his dms for the last decade" that doesn't necessarily make him qualified to know what "most modern women" would want. I like Dan and think he's a fun guy and cool streamer, I just don't think his advice is right here. It's kinda rushing into things too quickly. If you propose to somebody who isn't ready, it's likely to ruin a relationship forever. I get that confidence and such can be attractive, but it's not the end-all be-all of what goes on between two people. A good rule of thumb is that you need to know for sure that she'll say yes when you propose. Proposing and not knowing the answer when you do is likely to get you laughed out of some park or restaurant and if you do it in public that puts her in an uncomfortable spot to where she feels like she has to say yes to not look rude. I'm glad it worked out for Dan, but it's likely to go wrong. And honestly the worst way to start a marriage is a big risk like that. Marriages, ideally, are stable ventures that last you the rest of your life. Not a path you want to go down if you aren't 100% sure about it. And considering that the chatter got engaged eventually, I think the decision they made and the way they went about it was correct for them and their partner. Bc at that point what "most modern women" want doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is them and their partner and nobody else

[@malec8517]

@@luckyhunt7293 Dan is the example of "he is kinda of dick but I like him" I think this comes across the most when he is trying to give younger men examples of how to "date". You gotta remember, what Dan is saying and talking about doing. Is about making a lasting strong good memory with the person. A lot of women, if they are going to get married. Want to have a cool moment when they find out. Take how K8 and NL got married, supposedly. Just one day after they'd been in love for a while. K8 asked him if he wanted to marry her. NL didn't know or give it much thought at the time. So that lightly upset her and caused her to push the marriage happening and (while Ryan didn't hate his wedding) they don't have a "cute/loving" little story to tell people about how one of them asked the other. Now is this for everyone, of course not. BUT I think where Dan is coming from, is the vast majority of modern women who are open to marriage want a special moment. Dan never said, talking to your gf about the idea of marraige and if they would be open to it is a bad move. It's the awkwardly asking your GF "hey would you be open to marrying me?" that doesn't feel "special" Even men and women who don't care for romance, like to be special once in a while.

[@malec8517]

2:15:20 love k8 but lol, it's crazy she goes from "Me and NL dated for about a year + then I gave him 24h to say yes" but also says "how can you know after just a year, and you should just talk about it" If any women wonder why some men struggle with anything related to "marriage" this is why, this is a happily married women with a kid and even she is flip flop about how to handle marriage/proposals 🤣

[@suros8105]

I'm 2-3 months late but it seems like people in the comments forget that Dan's chatters ask for advice and/or join the Discord to hear what he has to say. They should know what they're going to get if they are regular viewers. It's not that serious.

[@NastyPlot_]

I'm actually astounded that the justin pic was just the eye tracker software. It looks like a shitpost.

[@FreckoJoel]

[@Shnarfbird]

they don't even know about ephebophilia

[@JesuslsASamurai]

k8 is goated to the gills

[@Xeon29149]

1 min les go🎉

[@PravusTheKid]

Did he play that wizard game for like 20 mins only?

[@TheLibraryofLetourneau]

no but i mean there wasnt anything particularly funny that happened besides the quips, if you think the game looks interesting then i'd suggest watching the VOD but i personally didnt find that much worth including

[@PravusTheKid]

@@TheLibraryofLetourneau understandable, seems like a cool game but not much banter

[@redwolfjo3_647]

bless librarian

[@SKLLedOne]

hcjEyes

[@Vindaelyn]

Gatorade

[@pengin558]

Stop insulting Dan he would've been a roman emperor 2000 years ago

[@lucasoftazmily256]

So, Gilbert, how’s the wife?

[@cloudstrel3847]

Do You Wanna Get High is peak Weezer even if the rest of the white album is not the best

[@Palozon]

The Pacific is roughly twice as large as the Atlantic, it's not super fair. The only argument for the Atlantic is pound for pound, the Pacific has a bunch of empty space. It's it's own hemisphere. But that's messy to evaluate, that and the garbage patch don't really detract much when it makes up a majority of the worlds coastlines.

[@ggw1776]

I'm sorry, but every Dan clip and every Kate clip drives me to believing they are not great people. Going crazy on a chatter because he actually thought his relationship out, and giving egg an ultimatum on marriage are not great looks.

[@judejude8569]

why is Dan such a prick🤨

[@catmanmanson799]

Why did gloomwood make him start talking about board games?????? It's an immersive sim!!!!! 😭

[@shaphier7057]

he said gloomhaven, not gloomwood...

[@Lich_V.]

why does the thumbnail kinda look like sargon/carlgon of akkad...

[@Dancyspartan]

nerd

[@Lich_V.]

@@Dancyspartan you sweet summer child, I am envious of you not knowing who I'm talking about