Don't Have a Conversation with a Narcissist Unless You Know This

[@kimslone5185]

So basically it's an argument between an honest person and a dishonest one.

[@kirkpeters8043]

It's disgusting. No contact is the win.

[@anonymousavatar6144]

They don’t have any intention of having a genuine "conversation." They want to argue about anything and everything and aren’t concerned with resolution. It’s pointless!

[@williamlindner3984]

All you really need to know when you talk to a narcissist, is you are visiting the camp of an enemy predator. Be on guard at all times and choose your words wisely...

[@zedmoe]

Perfectly stated.

[@dontbelongherefromanother]

Facts

[@kerjnerm681]

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Always a nefarious motive behind the conversation.

[@rmmn7]

Rightly said. Very wicked disgusting enemy which needs to be dealt with maximum caution all the time particularly when staying in the same house. It is dangerous when staying with enemy . Moving out towards a better place as fast as one can leaving the narcissists to be without any supply leading to the collapse of the out of energy supply starved narcissists

[@chynadoll77cyn59]

Lmao 😢facts most of the time Idk what say because I don’t like arguing I am more of a solution person

[@arronmccabe5967]

When they come into the room they suck the oxygen right out of the air.

[@DaughterofZyion]

I just get up walk away ,never look back never explain or give them my time again

[@emmarae4322]

It should be criminal what they do to people. They are predators.

[@michaelgarrow3239]

This is especially bad to a child with a developing mind. Words are weapons to a narcissist.

[@michignamymichigan]

They like to mess with my mind. I am so done with trying to communicate with them. Love them from afar.

[@chivonfortney1656]

Once u get to a place of 100 percent confidence and know that yourself is an awesome person and a worthy of kindness and honesty person you will not settle for less. And always call a narc on their bs. I always have. They don't like me lol.

[@erikagutierrez9770]

Is so tiring having to explain my self over and over out of nowhere. So many accusations. When I bring out my concerns and feeling he would start accusing me of things I didn’t do.

[@alimccreery755]

I’m just looking forward to getting out of this house and this neighborhood. I feel sorry for anyone living close to the narcissist that owns this house.

[@christinerobertson9596]

I'm stuck with my mom until she dies -which should happen in a few months

[@alimccreery755]

@@christinerobertson9596 I grew up with a alcoholic mother and left home when I was 16 years old. She eventually drank and smoked herself to death. We were relieved when she passed away because she was no longer suffering. I’ve spent some time trying to figure out why and how she got to that point. When a family is dysfunctional it’s like a train wreck and until one generation recognizes it it keeps going until it stops. I’m not angry over what’s happened except children were damaged, myself included. Having gone through the experience of dealing with a narcissist and educating myself has opened my eyes to more than I imagined. I don’t know your situation but I hope you get through this.

[@navydogsadventures3500]

I just want to be alone or with my grandkids.

[@m998hmmwv7]

I love the look on there face when I stop the conversation make them back up the conversation and start over again and the minute they try to go off track I stop and back up the conversation over and over until they have a complete meltdown.. it's fkg awesome lol

[@lighton365]

That's exactly like the narcs do it!

[@lorireed9781]

I do that too! I give him a blank stare and then say “What does that have to do with anything? Are you stupid? Get back to the question asked. “.

[@lorireed9781]

I love it when I’m recording in the house when I’m not there and i hear him whispering into the phone and i can also almost hear the person he’s talking to. When i ask (and why do i do that? I dunno) he’ll say he wasn’t talking to anyone. When i tell him the exact thing he whispered on the phone, he’ll say he doesn’t remember. I told him i KNOW you are lying, and I’m more mentally stable than you are, and I’m not stopping until I’m satisfied. And then, you’re going down.

[@m998hmmwv7]

@lorireed9781 Don't forget to use your pointer finger held up when it's time to stop and reverse the conversation lol. It makes them feel great lolol.

[@m998hmmwv7]

@lighton365 giving the snarky narc a taste of there own medicine.. They love it lolol.

[@cyncin7247]

It's a losing battle. Conversation is nill.

[@marymoya9791]

YES! You want them to just leave you alone.

[@SM999]

It's not easy to not defend yourself when these are people in your family who continue try to destroy you with put down when you're minding your own business and working hard on your goals. Hence I have cut everyone off like literally everyone so i can focus on my goals and my happiness

[@beaglerescue5281]

That’s wise. I too am no contact with my entire family and then I learned a year ago my only child (daughter) is a covert narcissist. Thank you Lord my husband is stable and good to me.

[@sojournerPs.3740]

Thank you, thank you thank you dear Jill. You just spared me hours of time trying to unravel a recent pile of jibberish and word salad the nsib just sent me. All you shared here was so spot on. It truly is entertainment to them, and so cruel really. i can't imagine living in the gnarled up brain space they thrive in, until it felt like i had a near tbi just trying to decode the rubbish. LOL. Thank you for the good solid truth of just disingaging from it. Zero confusion then, or at least dismissal of the confusion they longed to inflict. You are a blessing, God Bless you.💕

[@Angie_Secret_Squirrel]

and because they like to hear the sound of their own voice.

[@1RPJacob]

Being empathetic and sensitive is healthy, being "highly empathetic and sensitive" is an illness. 5:01 So true!

[@pete69696]

Everything you just said is SO true. I unfortunately spent 9yrs with a female malignant narcissist. And im a libra so im all about being fair lol. That never worked with her. All a disgusting game for 9yrs with her. Very disturbing frim a 46yr old woman with 2 kids. In my 50 years on earth i never dealt with a person like her.

[@yellowdayz1800]

You are an empath.

[@lzcrazyzl6443]

Yea they are a whole different kind of (special).

[@lighton365]

It's all very sad! I 😢

[@clarkcapital1462]

Wow I am also a Libra and I had to walk away from my narcissistic wife of 9 years about two weeks ago. I was doing good with no contact until we texted about the kids and she planted a false statement in a text message and I responded to that. It felt good to get it off my chest, but It brought me down emotionally after she manipulated my response and basically took the position that I’ve been taking the entire time, when we both know the truth of the matter. I feel a lot better than I did initially but I recognized the game and I know I have to be better moving forward.

[@beaglerescue5281]

@@clarkcapital1462 I too knew better than to have a heart to heart with my adult daughter which resulted in raging and a discard over NOTHING! Oh, well I’ll do better next time.

[@writer1986]

Yes! I have narcissistic family members--plus a narcissistic husband--and they all use word salad to change the topic. And I either redirect the conversation back to the topic or use it as proof that they're actually idiots--they have no clue what they're talking about, so they use big words to sound smart. (I even call my husband out on his misuse of words.)

[@elainesmith5313]

My best option when with the Narcissist was to give very short answers or a shrug. No long lengthy discussions. Its of all they are very inept people 2nd they want to push their narrative on you 3td they have absolutely no common sense. They are stuck in adolence or toddler stage. Just show them....actions speak much louder and are selfexplainatory. Oh, the older Narc's like to pull this trick, they will say Huh? Pretending they didn't undetstand. Don't repeat yourself. Move on......far away!!!

[@yellowdayz1800]

My son would call it.. "You speak in riddles" to my husband who is not his biological dad. This is before I knew what we were really dealing with. And I would call it.. "You are acting like Mr Bean to piss me off!" Yes, "word salad," would work to!!!

[@KleeKaiBreeders]

When first learning about narcs, it was hard to believe anyone would mess w someone’s head like that and actually take pleasure in it. But wow it’s true. There are horrible people out there.

[@lighton365]

That's why it's so hard to explain to those who haven't encountered a narc!! It does not make sense to anybody!!!

[@KleeKaiBreeders]

@@lighton365 Exactly. But narcs are real and I want nothing to do w any of em. Much love to you.

[@slu2657]

They need exorcism

[@jeffchristie-od5gu]

Be thankful, if you didn't come from a family nearly full of them

[@JasonPacheco-wf8xe]

One of the hardest things to grasp is the person doing all these evil things yo you is the person you loved unconditionally. It's just so hard to wrap your head around it. I'm still going through a battle within myself daily not wanting to believe what I know is true. And this is why you can't even confied in anyone about it, because Noone wants to believe someone can be this evil. All you get from people is "why would she do that" its so frustrating

[@gigiarmany]

I just needed this video right now, perfect timing❤ 👍🏼 have to deal with the narc ex due to co parenting ( a horrible nightmare you wouldnt wish on your worst enemy) , have long gone no contact ,except through mediators & text if absolutely unavoidable... he often tries to breach our arrangement & calls personally, I dont answer the phone just text back ..he keeps trying, but I'm NOT about to be pulled into his web of lies.. then I found this video & felt very validated & empowered ..thx ❤❤

[@mcloud1070]

Jil and Dr Ramani are definitly a true blessing for persons who have been confronted to a narcissist 🙏

[@cyncin7247]

Dr C. DR. LES CARTER. too.

[@iconsnart]

Agree!

[@chynadoll77cyn59]

Yes 🙌🏾 and lil Sharman I’ve learned a lot with these 3 . Thank God

[@jellyrolle95]

I've had friendship with a woman for over 20 years. She nearly drove crazy with her on non-ending conversation. I was never able to get a word in edge wise. It was maddening and I'm finally ending the relationship. It took me years to realize that this person was a narcissist. She is a mean, snarky woman who wallows in constant self-pity. I regret the years that I've been tortured in this so-called friendship. 😬

[@TracyNewton-q3b]

Me too. He wound himself up in the end as I never gave fuel. He has now gone no contact 😅suits me fine. If he gets in touch, it will be very interesting to see what he says. 😂

[@The-Vintage-Needlecrafter]

What about when they follow after you room to room and wont stop!? He just wont stop until he breaks me down.

[@SM999]

Their favorite is you're overly sensitive while you're more than a rational and sound minded person who doesn't tolerate their toxic verbal abuse

[@beaglerescue5281]

They’re overly sensitive. My goodness, I’ve walked on eggshells long enough.

[@paulwisdom1090]

Try going to counselling with a narcissist and see how that works out smh

[@jamesg2405]

This describes my 19yr old daughter 100%. It's infuriating and heart breaking all at the same time. Thought she had matured & grown out of it. Nope...

[@beaglerescue5281]

If your daughter is truly a narcissist you my friend are in for a painful journey especially when grandchildren come. God Bless

[@rmmn7]

This video is Very helpful in keeping and maintaining Safe Distance from narcissists. 👍

[@i.l.9546]

When I called him out on his bad behaviour I did that by text message bc I wanted to read his reply and not wanted to get confused by word salad. Guess what, he replied in a long E-Mail starting with "I guess I make a lot of failures, BUT ..." and at the end of the E- Mail it was that he had never said the things I complained about but instead it was my mind which thought it had heard those things because I come out of a dysfunctional family. I now had the proof written in front of my eyes. So I took the game and the ball smashed right in to his face. I was "oh yes, you are right, its all about me and so Im obviously not capable to stay in a relationship being such inadequate person." In my mind I said "you are right and I m free". It felt like a cliff fight and I went to a side when he was pushing hard at me. He went down the cliff. The relationship ended after several more e-mails he tried to relevate his words but it was too late of course. I couldnt unsee what I had seen. He had a total breakdown when I left the relationship and I guess he knows that I was faking. So his manipulation had the exact opposite outcome of what he has intended and it was very empowering for me. Im sincerly proud of me not having taken his bs.

[@terrycato2670]

I borrowed my sister's van and the battery was 7 years old and the alternator was bad and I paid paid to get it fixed and she said I didn't ask her if I could get it fixed. I said to her really? If I knew that I would have left it broke down on the road and would have gladly found my merry butt a way home and saved that money. So excuse me for being a responsible person and when it concerns you in the future, good luck with that. And I haven't had any contact with her after blocking her and all the other family members. Peaceful 4 months since. It was so funny to have her repeat the part that I didn't ask her for permission to fix her crap and be responsible. What a wonderful memory of how stupid I was for having the repair and smart enough to have several people hear her expose herself several times. Loving it more daily.

[@sarahrussell3219]

Father, Sister, Brother and his daughter, boss, husband and his sister. You know them girl.

[@charging7]

My favorite response if i have to engage any narc...whatever...or ok, sounds good...i give as few inputs as possible at all times...they are masters at weaponizing your words

[@cyndigooch1162]

@charging7 I've found that many highly narcissistic individuals use the word whatever, yet they say it in order to be dismissive, which is frustrating! As you know, it's helpful to say it to them though, along with okay and sentences like, "you're entitled to your opinion, which I don't agree with," or words to that effect, if it's safe enough. 😊

[@johnshafer7214]

My little community is filled with narcissists. If it wasn't for the century farm and being able to open enroll my kids to a neighboring school district I would have been long gone.

[@guenthermarschall01]

I totally get the "word salad" - that's exactly what happens when you talk to a nac. in my case she was totally mixing up things that had nothing to do with each other - or she was switching the goal post in a conversation - or was totally emotional, without any reason. it was everything but a clear conversation. and in the end it was mostly about her an how other failed or are guilty etc. it's a horrible nightmare to argue or talk to a nac. because in the end they only want to "win" the conversation so that they can feel good or above - that's all that counts. It is never about really clarifying things.

[@kingzway7]

Brilliant ! Well done ! Great teaching !! I was stuck between two of these monster in the form of a moether and father in-law . Now through teachings like these i am kicking narc ass ! Just know that these vampires are just broken children hiding inside of an adult body ....so dont be fooled just be the adult ! ❤

[@davinsmithsr.8373]

Powerful and so true , Very Spiritually Awakened Empath

[@MomTube-i9w]

The thumbnail is soo accurate. It's not worth having a stroke. Block Block Block

[@ronhanish]

YES Jesus help 🙏

[@phyllistouchstone7136]

These narcissists lied to me while I had just lost my daughter.

[@lighton365]

😢

[@sarahrussell3219]

❤

[@theenlightenedtarget]

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. 💔

[@cyndigooch1162]

@phyllistouchstone7136 That's extremely sad, not to mention cruel, and hope you're managing okay. 💐

[@phyllistouchstone7136]

@@cyndigooch1162 I’m ok. Thank you for asking. These same people adopted my grandbabies and they are keeping them from me. It’s been a year since I have seen them.

[@aquagirl9228]

Right on target , as always! Saw this happen too often. Thank you Jill ❤️

[@debbievoss3496]

We pay attention to the words. I respond like a wordsmith to evoke in him the concept that I think he's a wordsmith. Then, he feels important & happy. I try not to depend on him for anything life saving.

[@millyardopeacecraft9778]

My ex gf narc has been running in and out of my life over the last year +. She only will communicate through text. Its a way for her to hide and method of control because she knows i dont like it. But i find myself saying exactly what i need to say because i know shes about to run away. She always claims it me "not seeing her perspective" or "im reacting" no im calling out factual things your have actually done to me. Lying the cheating, the stalking etc. Ive got to the point where i am indifferent. But i also feel the need to blast her with truth so she stays gone. But she always comes back because her rebound relationships aint what they all crack up to be. Im trying to get to the point where i dont pick up phone at all. I dont want to be a person that gets stuck with this kind of person. No kids no marriage. Shes a single mom of 3. Thanks Jill.

[@Level_No_Curve]

Bro drop that chick like a wet bag if hanmers.

[@pete69696]

I enjoy all your important information. I wish i found you 8yrs ago lol.

[@franksimmons9242]

A thorough and accurate description of word salad and gaslighting. Informative and deeply appreciated. It's nice over time to watch all those layers of deception evaporate. Thanks Jill because over time we may have been convinced not that we made bad choices but that we were a bad choice. To the toxic person this is justification for the treatment they dish out. Thanks for pointing out it takes time and specific inner work to clear these erroneous beliefs from our subconscious. The absence of all that drama is profound.

[@edgreen8140]

She gave me a word salad and I know she not schizophrenic so I walked. It will be circular. Keep conversations to a minimum. The bill needs to be payed, the weather. They want to frustrate everyone because they can live in the calm. Best no reaction; no response. Observe don't absorb. Don't argue - if they call you an ass knowing they are very sick say yep and walk out of the room. It's there stuff they project on you so the person who thinks they are an ass is the person stating it and never telling you. They want to use your time, energy and money. Pull back and observe then they're manipulations are easily seen. Do less for them.

[@lighton365]

I would like to add that I find they would also like to use your knowledge. Is that true for you as well?

[@edgreen8140]

@lighton365 God yes! She has my Ph.d.

[@Jaggermonster-k1j]

All the comments are so liberating and validating to me and id imagine to everyone here❤

[@beaglerescue5281]

I learn so much from comments.

[@patvass3019]

Excellent presentation, Jill! Thank you! Word salad is bizarre for sure!

[@warrenbradford2597]

I am well-aware I have been lied to every time get into conversations with the narcissists I interact with. I only ask for physical needs only. I avoid getting into meaningful conversations with them now.

[@earthgirl3434]

Amen to En-LIGHT-enment of Truth! Thank you ❤

[@Kimeedoll]

I managed to not be drawn in today. Very proud of myself.

[@debbievoss3496]

I'm starting to control the narrative. Great fun !

[@SM999]

Overly sensitive is the term that has overlooked their psychological disorders and made excuses for centuries. Please lets not use overly sensitive for sounded minded individuals who are not sadistic and don't enjoy hurting other people

[@cyncin7247]

Thank you so much, Dr. Jill.

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

Never a simple answer. Par example: do I need to answer?

[@andymanaus1077]

Could you please talk about how to deal with a narcissist who a financial control and influence over you? In my case, my grandiose narcissist sister is living with my elderly father and both abusing him constantly and paying out of her own money to renovate his house. He hasn't asked for this but I can see it coming that she will use this activity to demand more than her share of the inheritance once he is gone. It's not a huge inheritance but after a horrid life of falling into narcissists' traps, I was hoping that it would help me finally get a secure place to live instead of living hand to mouth as I do now. We have all cared for my father over the years and the fact that she is the last to do so is no excuse to erode the inheritance by engaging lawyers and demanding more money. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with a narcissist in this kind of situation?

[@Duckfarmer]

This is Why" l Can't Live With a Narc "No More. I Miss My Old Chill. Authentic Self. I Miss Myself Soo Much....!! Need To Be Around People That Aren't Psychopath's. It's Too Complicated To Relate To The Unrelatable. I Could ask a Question about the Weather and The "NARKY" Use's it as a Chace to Bully Me.

[@BigE-j5q]

That’s one form. If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance baffle them with B.S. I think the preferred method of any narcissistic is more along line of induced conversation. It most definitely has an end point. Word salad is more of a golden retreat bridge. Starting a fire elsewhere when induced convo fails.

[@debbievoss3496]

I love your title, "The Enlightened Target". 😂.

[@erikavaleries]

Thank you Jill ❤

[@lifeofmim]

Thanks so much. That’s a very beautiful top and color on you

[@theenlightenedtarget]

Aw, thank you so much! ❤️

[@EnigmaMan0000]

I've gotten to where I avoid conversations with people who have a "crazy making" way of talking to me. When I can talk to most people and have normal conversations yet there's a very few that it always seems like I walk away from conversations questioning both what was said and myself but know when I talk to most people I don't walk away questioning the conversation or myself I know to stay away from that person who makes me question everything. 😵‍💫😬❤️‍🩹🖖🏻☺️🕊️🙏🏻🦉

[@nevadabadger7925]

Greetings from Reno, Nevada.

[@lighton365]

That's exactly how it is! 😵‍💫

[@vinitawagh3223]

Thank you 🙏🙏❤️

[@debbievoss3496]

I like him to think I think he's a good guy that does little things for me for praise & gratitude😅 in return. Plus, letting him think he got one over me. Hah!

[@TimothyTaylor-i1v]

Wise is your last name? WOW! Definitely!

[@ronhanish]

Wow pretty crazy, i agree with much of this from experiencing it, ug , ty ❤❤

[@Eleanor-hn4vg]

Excellent advice 👍🏻

[@robeastwood2093]

Thanks again Jill. You are a life changer. Helping many!

[@Hannah-eq5ff]

This is so helpful thank you

[@cedrycsinkala9647]

Everything you said is so true and helpful ❤

[@sukikaur1634]

Very ,true love your ,this video I can't take no more, 😢

[@csh43166]

My ex seemed to believe that if HIS solution to a problem wouldn't work, there was no solution. It was maddening to get anything accomplished when there was any kind of issue - personal, household, work. And Heaven forbid if I took on the issue and resolved it myself, especially if there was money involved. Even though I worked a pretty decent job and had my own money, on top of contributing to the household bills, of course.

[@lighton365]

They're really really closeminded and ignorant!!

[@martyvirtue4051]

When I brought up the gay cheating male malignent narc could be sex addict, his answer was: off course not. How can you be addicted to something so nice!!!?

[@Jamiereid6166]

Ye they are sick, ✨

[@louisehroncich281]

I experienced what I now k own as love bombing feom my ex to lure me into his family. Then he used 2 vulnerable and innocent young girls as a bomb squadron to disempower a female parent stealing her voice and identity. The female mother is left to fight for her own self care.

[@starfoxfire7]

Thank you for your advice.

[@Jacq.b.Prince-hu1wn]

Thank you

[@brendarudman8806]

Subscribed😊

[@Jaggermonster-k1j]

I always regret talking in depth or small talk with my mother. I keep shooting myself in the foot. I know better but ...

[@dazpearce2096]

this salad's got non-sequitors in it lol - great video again...

[@KanikaNewsome-pj6jb]

I just had a light bulb moment, racism is narcissism.

[@chynadoll77cyn59]

Whew 😥 man smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@mac-ju5ot]

He can leave me alone.....his wife yelled at him.😅

[@Babsza]

They really like to tell you that YOU are sick in the head !

[@beaglerescue5281]

That’s the long game to make you out to be mentally unstable in your own mind and in the mind of others.

[@aquagirl9228]

Word salad is one of her favorite tools! SMH

[@oukastoukast]

Totally off topic but whats that top called. Lol

[@michignamymichigan]

Easy summer blouse.

[@Breadjunkie_]

This all sounds so familiar. How do you escape from this when you’ve got a 4 year old and 12 bucks in the bank? 😢

[@anothergerman88]

You look lovely. 😊

[@theenlightenedtarget]

Thank you so much 🙂

[@mac-ju5ot]

I know he's a ex cop.

[@MaryamAli-vd1xv]

🌹

[@MaryamAli-vd1xv]

💖

[@MichelleE8888]

You are my new bf ty ty ty ❤😊

[@newandoldtech5634]

In short, never go vegan, LOL

[@semasariyildiz4346]

Your intros are too long. You should jump right into the topic. Kind regards from Belgium

[@cyncin7247]

Who asked you?

[@yellowdayz1800]

I like her videos. They are not to long. Each point is spot on.

[@Jaggermonster-k1j]

Some people just shouldn't have a child or children