Don't Let "Should Haves" Ruin Your Life

[@Rafaela5421-w6d]

❤❤❤

[@littlerose6673]

So perfect. Someone has said, "you are torturing yourself." We really do give ourselves a hard time. ❤

[@anniepaquette]

Life is hard, but we do create some extra misery for ourselves…our mind does anyway😊

[@AyaSmith-rb2hp]

Don’t should on me and I won’t should on you! 😊

[@anniepaquette]

😊 Talking to your mind?

[@Michelle0920]

Oh my, those darn "should haves" are exhausting. Great messaging and thank you for reading from the book. Powerful.

[@anniepaquette]

Hey Michelle! They really are exhausting! Thanks for the love. I really appreciate it💚🤗💚

[@Teaandhoney38]

Wow this is cool

[@AyaSmith-rb2hp]

Thank you for this, I so agree!

[@anniepaquette]

You're very welcome 🏵

[@AyaSmith-rb2hp]

Best book ever ❤

[@anniepaquette]

I has a lot of gems!

[@NolaCaffey]

Wise words, Annie - thank you and good luck with your new book! I have been feeling stress about the ways of the world lately, and amazed at my mind (inner critic) berating myself for a well- meant funny incident at a recent funeral. The core issue was the weeping son's (48ish) black suit being so new that the pockets were still stitched closed as a corpse's mouth, so discretely tucking tissues into his pockets went haywire, like a silent movie. And I laughed just a little. Got side-eyed by the stoics, too, as my actions and getting swatted away told the wrong story. Explaining anything to anyone there would have made it so much worse. Now weeks later, stressed, my mind has decided to repeatedly self-flaggelate. I swear I wasn't making a scene at a funeral with inappropriate intentions! Life happens, no? Hey, if nothing unexpected and funny happens at a funeral or wedding, you're possibly not doing it right. 🌷

[@anniepaquette]

I understand the berating inner critic. Here's a story for you. At my fathers funeral 15+ years ago, we realized on viewing day that we had forgotten to give the funeral home the bottom part of my fathers suit (!) So the casket was half closed, but when we peaked, my father had no pants. We laughed so hard. For a while, my sisters and i couldn't contain ourselves. I think that was a wink from my father, lightening the moment. That's how we saw it. So, good on you for seeing a wink at a funeral. I think the dead have a sense of humor.

[@NolaCaffey]

@@anniepaquette LOL!!

[@kimdavid4979]

I love it, I’m gonna work on my self talk and I’m glad I made the decision to do so! See I’m starting off positive so far. Thank you for this video. ❤

[@anniepaquette]

You're doing it!!! 🥰 Thanks for the love💐

[@JulieGervais-f6b]

I catch myself all the time. Well…. Most of the time. I could is my new go too❤

[@anniepaquette]

Nice. "I get to" is also good in some circumstances.

[@larayarrington4794]

Annie, I have recently discovered you and love your channel. I am a tortured soul. I feel too deeply, think too much, I have been told I am weak because I am so emotional. My mind does not stop. I struggle to make decisions because I sway back and forth on whether I should or whether I shouldnt. I am an HSP with a physical disability, and suffer from severe depression. I have never been particularly great at anything because life has been so hard. Every second of of every minute of every day, is a challenge for me. I am a mother and a grandmother. And I have suffered so much in my head and emotions that I consider suicide often. But I choose to stay one more day, firstly for my son, whom I had at 18 and now my beloved granddaughter who is 4 months old. I find life exhausting and overwhelming and it has impacted every area of my life. How do we carry on, when carrying on is like wearing lead boots. Reliving the past, the present and the future when others seem to just move on so easily.

[@britanniau.k.4352]

God bless you.I hope there are peaceful days ahead for you.I understand overthinking as I struggle with that too.

[@websurfer5772]

You're here on this channel. Give it time and apply what you learn to see if you can find solutions. I'm in the same boat. I'm sure meno has a lot to do with it for me as well.

[@gypsy5445]

I can so relate with you! Sending healing vibes your way ❤

[@lr9152]

Your post really affected me. Because it IS me. I sorry thought I was the only one. God bless you!

[@anniepaquette]

I understand and can relate to a lot of what you're saying. So much of how we feel is part of being a highly sensitive person. THere's was never anything wrong with us but society (and people) judged us because their way of being is the majority. Yes, life has been exhausting because we're trying to be like others and judge ourselves for not being like them. Let's come together, and slowly, build our love for ourselves. We are the gentle souls of this world, and we are not here by accident. The world needs us. I love you 💗🤗💗

[@Teaandhoney38]

This is great advice

[@anniepaquette]

Thanks! 🪷 💚🪷

[@colinjohnrudd]

How do I sort out my cynicism Annie? Tell me what I should do about it ..... although I think you already have perhaps! I find you so joyful and wise and feel myself completely lacking but thanks for the moments of happiness you give to us all. x

[@anniepaquette]

Cynicism is quite understandable. Let me make something clear though, I am not always joyful but I try to lean into those pockets of joy and stretched them in every direction as much as I can. Feeling sad, depressed, cynical is okay too. We're human. It happens. 💚🤗💚

[@annerougemont]

Mmmh… great advice. Still struggling with how to counter the Should Haves related to health : SH done my yoga, SH taken more steps today, SH eaten less whatever… any advice ? 🤔

[@websurfer5772]

I wonder if telling yourself you're doing a good job will help, like she suggested. If you're not doing the things your mind is telling you that it thinks you should, maybe telling yourself why will work. Like you can say _Because I didn't feel like it._ I think that's a legitimate reason. Maybe you're full up and that's that for now.

[@anniepaquette]

I know! That's a tough one. Because we "know" self care is part of feeling better. Still, compassion for knowing we are doing our best each day, even when our best is not much on some days.

[@superchatcat658]

How do you suggest we handle when the should haves come from other people?

[@websurfer5772]

I cut nearly everyone out of my life but I realize not everyone can do that. I'm very upset about having to do it, but it's working! lol

[@anniepaquette]

It's hard. I imagine though that the less should have we put on ourselves, the less should haves from others will matter (?) Perhaps other people's should have hurt so much because the reflect some of what we tell ourselves.

[@sandella11]

Thank you. New subscriber. Love that your channel found me. Thank you. I’m 76 yrs old, an empath from birth…many health issues…. and kind of burnt out…but it’s never too late to learn something so obvious (that I wish I’d have been aware of over the last 65 yrs). I’m getting it, I think. Better late than never. 🫶👍🏼💞🥰

[@anniepaquette]

Better late than ever is one of my mantras! There is so much I wish my younger self had heard or known. That's why I wrote my book and speak on this channel--to hopefully save others some years of beating themselves up for who they are and how their brain works. 🥰 And I TOTALLY get feeling burnt out. I am so burnt out. I need a vacation! A long one!

[@websurfer5772]

0:48 - Google and I think that's a Checkerspot Butterfly. 🦋 When you said, "Listen to our inner monologue." My mind thought, _I'm really grateful for you, Annie._ 😊 You don't have to respond to my comments. Most of the people I follow don't and that's fine. It's amazing when a CC (Content Creator) does, but I never expect it. I never used to 'should myself' but now I do all the time about my past. I think it's because I'm in constant pain and sickness and I feel like I'm being punished, so my mind is looking for someone to blame and I don't want to think about how mad I am at others anymore so now it has turned on me. I'm horrified by the past mistakes I've made. I messed up big time all the time. I just didn't see it that way at the time. Another thing is, I enjoy reading and watching people share their near-death experiences but it's a double-edged sword because now I know there will likely be extensive life reviews when I die and every little thing has been permanently recorded and I'm striving to be a better person but combined with my health issues, I feel like I failed over and over back when I was able to live a normal life. I heard you chuckling a little bit when you said, "the misery we've created for ourselves," and yeah, that is funny. Okay, I can go with, _Given my situation, I'm doing a good job._ I can say that to myself. Thanks! 🐇 🎶Hop hop bunny bunny Hop hop bunny bunny Hop hop Ho Ho Hop Hop 🎶

[@anniepaquette]

Hi! If you didn't see your past actions as mistakes back then, then at the time you were doing the best you could with who you were and what you were capable of doing. The fact that you regret now means you're evolving -- and that's something you can appreciate about yourself. As for the life review? My sense is that it is non-judgemental, even loving and compassionate. What if you're life review resulted in immense appreciation that, given hard circumstances, you didn't give up, which makes you extraordinary? Just a thought 💚

[@websurfer5772]

@@anniepaquette Thank you for your genuinely helpful feedback. It means a lot to me. I'm going to read it over and over and really take it in. I appreciate what you are doing for all of us. 💝

[@anniepaquette]

@@websurfer5772 💗🤗💗