Don't Mistake Kindness For Weakness - Jocko Willink & Kyle Carpenter

[@defderkderk8559]

Kindness is a weakness to the indecent but virtuous to the decent.

[@EldradHammer]

I was about to type out a paragragh for the same point. Damn good work derk derk.

[@InnuendoXP]

Kindness doesn't need to mean meek, submissive, passive, or compliant. You can be both kind & non-complying, you can give a friendly or civil refusal. You don't need to lessen yourself just because you're dealing with some degenerate, if you do, you're giving up some small amount of control over yourself. If you keep your moral superiority, if anything it will further reinforce how they are beneath you when you refuse to give way.

[@tylerm7300]

@@InnuendoXP walk softly but carry a heavystick.

[@lkeke35]

I love this saying!

[@johnrockwell5834]

It will be treated as weakness definitely but they get their comeuppance.

[@grantjoy]

I have the most respect for those who have been betrayed and hurt but maintain their compassion and humanity. That is real strength.

[@PolarBearPredator]

It depends on who you maintain your compassion and humanity with. Just like anything it's not a black or white rule. There are many in life that only understand force and respond to who they fear. What would you prefer to be loved or to be feared? Feared wins every single time only a fool would say otherwise.

[@danjudex2475]

Sometimes the last person you want angry, are the kindest people you meet.

[@mattarnold3494]

still water runs deep for sure

[@Steven-gs8oh]

@Roy Savage tough guy eh?

[@Steven-gs8oh]

@Roy Savage So you think you’re a tough guy eh?

[@Steven-gs8oh]

@Roy Savage Is that tough guy talk I hear?

[@Damagic1]

@Roy Savage this shit sound so cringe

[@marciawood4990]

“There is nothing as strong as gentleness and nothing as gentle as real strength.” Not sure who said it, but pretty sure it applies to both of these men. Thank you both for your inspiration.

[@f0rumrr]

Real humans are kind, but savage when they need to be. The one thats constantly flexing is the true weak one.

[@dominikarndt6049]

Very true 👍

[@Deathridaz714]

Unless you're flexing and can back it up. Been across some of those in the hood. You never know who's down for their shit.

[@robertsemail5695]

@@Deathridaz714 most of them are just idiots thats why they get shot

[@carlose6010]

@@Deathridaz714 They may be strong physically, but weak in mind and true place. True place, being truly well off for life.. not going to find that in a hoodlum.

[@FINALLYOUTAFTER7]

I couldn’t agree more. 👊🏽

[@Haydrn]

"Don't mistake kindness and compassion for weakness. It takes so much more strength to be selfless and live in love." - Jesse Leach

[@newandoldtech5634]

Tsarion disagrees on the selfless vs selfish. So does James True. It is profound to listen to the arguments

[@Accune]

"Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32

[@smashleyscott8272]

Amen!!!

[@nealtheall7236]

So a warrior can't be patient? I find it funny, that being said on a clip from this podcast. Lol

[@joe2870]

"Better to be a warrior and not a bible bitch." Joe 9:47AM

[@TheDrummaBen]

@@nealtheall7236 Here is a more literal translation of that text to help brother "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." What Solomon is saying is not that you shouldn't be mighty....you should, but you should first desire to be patient and self-controlled. Also, study the Bushido code. Same principle. focus first on the inner development of the virtues, humility, patience, gratefulness etc, before you develop the external things.

[@murrica574]

Hail Satan

[@51dodoc]

I use to have anger issues when I was younger and other teenagers were scared of me then I started training muay thai seriously I became incredibly kind and nice outside of the ring. Sadly there is people who take kindness for weakness, some found the hard way how wrong they were. I realised that the stronger I became the more kindness I had in me, you just have to be able to release the dragon when there is no other option.

[@DannyHerron]

He's a very inspirational person, not because of what he's had to overcome physically, because of his soul. He's got a great one.

[@oldsongg]

"arrogance is used by the weak while kindness is used by the strong" - Wendy Abel

[@animalsarebeautifulpeople3094]

Being kind to the most defenseless beings - takes a real man.

[@Izkapts]

💚

[@Izkapts]

Takes way more strength to stand against systemic animal abuse for food, clothing, etc, to save their lives from slaughter than to be the cause of it.

[@MrSivram28]

Never mistake a kind person to be weak. Push that kind person long enough and they will destroy you physically and emotionally.

[@god5535]

Case in point "Law Abiding Citizen" - one of my favorite movies. Was a mild-mannered family guy and became an ABSOLUTE ruthless monster. (Also Heisenberg from Breaking Bad)

[@TheDrummaBen]

@@god5535 Not sure that's a great example though. (I like that movie too lol) I don't think vengeance is a virtue though. I think people who thirst for vengeance are displaying weakness.

[@Boomy2nicce]

@@TheDrummaBen if your wife and kid were raped and killed while you’re tied up helpless to stop it. You would turn to an absolute animal to get your taste for their blood. My boxing coach always remained calm even in the worst situations. The scariest thing is I don’t know what he’s like when he’s upset and I’d never want to see that anger directed on someone. A man who’s fluffing his chest to invoke dominance and fear is a weak man. A man who remains silent and calm is a strong one

[@zxLoneWolf]

Lmao shut up nerd

[@HeavenlyLights]

Oh yes.

[@BlueFlyer83]

Being a nice guy myself, I can tell you just how much restraint it takes to hold back the punches from people that disserve it. Restraint=strength. In my silence, I've learned to read people and learn their weaknesses. And I realize those people that think they're taking advantage of you are the ones with the bigger issues. People in general the world loves nice people. They're easier to work with and are typically devoid of malicious intent. When those people leave a job, they're typically greatly missed. No one misses malicious people. Infact, they're seldom missed and in some cases, people breath a sigh of relief when they're gone. God bless you brother and keep up the good fight!

[@armoriya]

Meekness does not mean weakness, it means you have a heart of love and you carry wisdom from God.

[@ananigma]

well said.

[@justhuman7335]

Fact 🙏

[@brandonsadventurechannel9806]

No it doesn't it means submissive. "quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive."

[@DeadlyVerge]

@@brandonsadventurechannel9806 It may mean that in modern English, but in other languages and in other times it meant something different. For example: in the Bible, Matthew 5:5, it says "The meek shall inherit the Earth." That is an English translation of an ancient Hebrew word, where our English "meek" means something along the lines of "Those who have a sword and know how to use it, but choose to keep it in it's sheath." - credit to Jordan Peterson for that explanation. To use another biblical reference, I would say "meekness" is when you are "As wise as a serpent, but as gentle as a dove."

[@armoriya]

Cyrus Harding amen and I appreciate you explaining this. 🙏🏾👍🏾💪🏾

[@marksteele1023]

Hurt people hurt people....scared people try to scare people

[@dolfdervish8495]

@Mark Steele 💯

[@workingguy-OU812]

It does seem true.

[@JustActNormal]

I tell my son that all the time so that he knows bullies aren't that tough

[@jsmithsemper4848]

Self righteousness hurts ppl too. They don’t have to be hurt to hurt others.

[@gopetogle]

J SmithSemper self righteous people harbour usually the most (repressed) hurt

[@janderson9365]

I'm a 79 year old grandma who listens to you every day. Your discussions help me communicate with my two sons and grandchildren in a language they can relate to. And to tell them I got the ideas from a bunch of SEALS I hang around with just blows their minds. Keep up the good work.

[@honesttruth986]

0:00-3:25 I love how Jocko just listens and barely says a word. It's not too often that you get good listeners like that these days it really is an admirable quality especially for someone who has a presence like Jocko who could easily just command control of an entire room and cut off anyone who's speaking if he wanted to

[@aniketdeosthali765]

Honest Truth great point!

[@CaptainVillanueva1]

There was another podcast where jocko said something groundbreaking. Leaders listen 90% and command the rest of the time or something like that. Real solid advice

[@jaredmcarthur9325]

I served with Kyle in 2/9 Fox company on that deployment. The dude is definitely not “soft” lol

[@SnailKingGY]

He's hard as diamond. He was able to do 17 pullups right before being medically discharged, like man I can barely do 10.

[@paulisaaksohn9179]

You guys make our world a better place to be. I wish I were surrounded by more people like you. Too bad, that's not always the case. I am learning and getting wiser. Striking that balance btw being kind and nice versus being a bit more assertive and even tough is not always easy. Some folks will mistake your being soft for weakness and they will keep doing it until you say "Enough". I realized you can be soft and steong at the same time. It disarms most people. One more thing: if you are constantly making a consious effort to be something other than your natural self, you are in a bad company. With good people around you, you find your balance very easily and effortlessly. Thank you, Kyle!Thank you, Jocko!

[@gabrielmicu4085]

"Better be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war"

[@Bluezkat1]

“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness”... one of my favorite sayings. Heard it a lot in the military and it makes perfect sense. Lots of people mistake kindness for weakness... not good

[@kanta32100]

Don't mistake kindness for strength also, just because you are nice doesn't mean problems will avoid you

[@markwhittaker6866]

@@kanta32100 PREACH!

[@Beastzz77]

People walk around trying to intimidate other people is because inside they are scared af of getting into a real fight. Why I know ? Because I used to be that person. I have to take a good look at myself in the mirror over the years to realise that.

[@robjohnston4430]

Well said mate. Ashamed to say I used to be the same as well.

[@trevorjalla]

That comment vs that username o_O

[@Gapkid5]

The Devil's a loser ---- Change your YT name ------- John 14:6 --------- Jesus loves you

[@takkiejakkie5458]

Within my circles from young to now people who were aggressive without any valid reason were rightfully considered absolute losers.

[@robertpowers1045]

You can also see this in the animal world...little dogs can be huge cunts. The best and most chill dog I ever owned was a 120lb male Rottweiler with his balls intact, other dogs would always posture around him but never attack. I only saw him fight twice and it was over in seconds

[@abhisheksarkar1179]

Staying on the Warpath in the times of quarantine. Hoping we will get through the toughest time we faced as a civilization in a few decades. Hoping for good health for everyone all around the world. See you on the other side.

[@nameredacted1176]

Copy that 🙏

[@NASkeywest]

Much worse things are coming. Get right with God. Welcome to the Last Days.

[@sonsofthunderd.p7401]

@@NASkeywest amen to that.

[@locketom]

@@NASkeywest Which god are you referring to?

[@Zo0I]

@@NASkeywest ok boomer

[@Geekman333]

Kindness. We need more of it.

[@randystevens6302]

I met the bravest and kindest people I've ever known when I was a patient in the ICU unit for 5 days. The nurses and doctors of this country and around the world are my heroes.

[@muzzleflash7056]

These two gentlemen are among the best Americans to have ever lived. Not just for their sacrifices, but they offer life lessons anyone can relate to. Wish everyone the best and stay safe out there.

[@maverick4225]

All the respect in the world for Mr. Carpenter! So much about life and overcoming obstacles can be learned from this brave man. Thank You Jocko for providing a platform so this Medal of Honor recipient may tell his story and inspire others.

[@frankhartman323]

I'm a marine and I've always hated the tough guy talk!

[@patrickkahanek7648]

I totally agree! I always go out of my way to be nice to people. I used to run with a very bad crowd in my younger days. One guy in particular used to have a saying. " You are not willing to take it as far as I am". He was not kidding, and you never know when you are going to run into someone like that. When you do. It is too late

[@Chausief2]

Jocko just listened. He didn't interrupt he showed Kyle so much respect

[@bro9479]

Two badasses. Kyle is a cool dude through and through. I've seen a few interviews & podcasts with him, and he's always humble, but this was the first one where the host, Jocko, actually treats him like a friend. I'm sure Kyle liked being able to carry on a conversation instead of just being endlessly praised the whole time. DGMW, he's totally a hero, but even heroes want to be treated normally sometimes. It's always nice to be able to have someone who relates.

[@jesserapkin2660]

True....it comes out especially at the end when he says...."i guess jumping on a grenade gives me some street cred." and Jocko says"yeah, I guess" with a smirk and a laugh. He does that to keep the guy humble.

[@chadhandy4674]

Jocko, Thank you for stepping up and sharing these, many of life’s truths. At 42, I still learn something almost every time I watch one of your videos. I share your videos with my 16 y.o. son, and I can see him thinking while he’s watching. It really does make a difference, what you are doing. Corporal Carpenter, Semper Fi Devil Dog! God Bless you, and thank you for service and your sacrifices. Thank you for sharing; your humbleness and your heart are apparent. Way of the Peaceful Warriors, you guys exemplify this. Thanks again.

[@vovachammonet5771]

Romans: 12:18 "In as much as it depends on you be at peace with your neighbors"

[@adamschneider868]

This is amazing. He is still struggling so hard with the idea that he is delaying speaking it into life as much as possible, as If it would hurt him if he did. This an amazing moment captured and preserved.

[@6rader]

This is obviously deeper than just the outward expression of kindness. I believe what is being pointed to is our own personal root for our kindness. Weak people can be kind, why is that? Strong people can be kind, why is that? its something we have to settle ourselves. My kindness stems from a love for people and developing relationships, not from a fear of not being accepted or a fear of confrontation, or a desire to appease everyone. I'm not a big person, i'm not physically intimidating, but i rarely have anyone try to walk all over me. I believe part of that is from my personal confidence i gained through competing in wrestling and my genuine love for other people comes from my faith. It takes strength to be kind, especially to those that seek to do harm. Great excerpt from Kyle and Jocko!

[@valtaylor2425]

Don’t put a label on it. That leads to comparing which ultimately leads to disappointment. Integrity is the core attitude and only you can know when you are aligned with it. Thanks for sharing!

[@thisguy-yv5so]

The genuineness and sincerity of this man nearly chokes me up

[@JoeyBaguez]

This is a very delicate balance to realize. Jesus said it best, when he instructed his disciples: “be wise as serpents and gentle as doves”. This young man is simply growing up and realizing that fighting and killing are not a joy to a soul but being kind is. It’s just that we need to be mindful of the evil that in present in others

[@dalcassian9098]

This man is a credit to himself,his parents and his entire community

[@AutomotiveRevista]

Excelllent video!! This kind of stuff saves lives. Really. It is such a mental relief to hear human beings like this. Helps us to be on our paths. Thank you so much for the video.

[@deweybyrd8204]

God bless you, thank you being real and not losing your good heart, love you bro.

[@quitequiet5281]

Soft like water... I will flow through the cracks and can not be stopped if it’s possible to squeeze through... I will cut through the hardest stone... if I experience hot and cold treatments... it will be the surrounding landscape that crumbles to the pressure of the steam and expansion of ice... kindnesses are naturally occurring because of confidence.

[@anngenettekennedy5328]

Being kind doesn't mean you have to allow people to take advantage of you and constantly use you. 🖤

[@TopFlightSecurity415]

agreed...you gotta put your foot down from time to time

[@mitchellhall7382]

As a "nice guy" my weakness manifests itself as silence. If after someone has been bullied you provide them with care, you are kind. If while someone is being bullied you don't speak up, you are weak.

[@hsoldacct2905]

JOCKO IS A GREAT LISTENER. Notice how silent he is....?! Respect for you sir.

[@Jaylom]

The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room.

[@sensoukami]

Yeah, Trump fits that description perfectly.

[@authorbhattacharjee4957]

@@sensoukami Ouch that burn

[@CowboyEkim]

So many men and women mistake kindness for weakness until they bring out your OTHER side 💯

[@joe1940]

"I have found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice. " - Abraham Lincoln

[@Peter_Parker69]

7:42 I love how even the great, virtues Jocko lie and manipulate sometimes. Made me feel better about myself. Thanks champ.

[@stefanmckannon1634]

As the part of me that works as a cashier during this virus outbreak I can personally attest to the fact that yes, the slightest bit of empathy gets you MILES ahead of the jerks in my mind of people I always remember. Most people have lost their minds but I've noticed that times like these it becomes crystal clear who the grateful people are and those who definitely are not - there just is no comparison. Gratitude, not complacency. ;)

[@clownworld4655]

Too many people make this mistake. I’m kind to anyone who has never wronged me, but that does not make me weak by any means as fellow veteran.

[@grimmliberty7447]

When you know the Evil YOU are Capable of as a Human Being, but Choose to be Decent(Even when No One Is Looking), that is Good. All else is Innocence and Naivety.

[@nmarrs8539]

True strength comes from those who are willing to admit they’re flawed. Kindness is one of those strengths.

[@georgespangler1517]

Many have mistaken my kindness for weakness to find I wasn't a pushover when I walked away from them forever. And I never go backwards.

[@Mekuzee_Khen]

You've got creds from me Kyle. Thank you for your service. Respect.

[@rlyman111]

Thanks both of you!

[@chipkornrumpf6318]

Great exchange in conversation. Kindness is self rewarding and stems from great values like strength and confidence and understanding.

[@adriannelson2997]

"Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. The beast is sleeping, it's not dead."

[@camerondale6529]

Sad thing is, the people who will inevitably make this mistake are the same people who'll call you a liar and a b!tch.

[@billlybarrue5953]

Really thankful for you all putting all this education out there. Great stuff.

[@fallbangskid8304]

What great guys! Thank you for your service to this great country, your perspective and inspiration..

[@grantharper7515]

It's good to know there are real men who are nice also, thank you!

[@TundeoftheBaba]

Thanks Jocko for the reassurance on this topic; you stand exactly where I stand.

[@skroochi1901]

that first 2 mins brought a tear to my eye

[@devonniles8913]

Carpenter is so humble. A true hero

[@DG-oo8zf]

The US needs Jocko to breed exponentially to secure its future as a superpower.

[@marykathleensapp6937]

🌿 my family has always seen me as being weak by being too kind... it has caused me to have self doubt. Thank you for this!

[@Nerd_Gamer_Buddy]

i always heard "dont underestimate nice people, the beast in them is sleeping not dead"

[@bubbaliburtee8657]

may God bless you and grant you peace brother

[@DT-sb9sv]

This is perfect. Many people mistake kindness for weakness. Great Video. Treat people with kindness until they prove otherwise. Not a veteran, but worked as a bouncer at a dive bar. Same principle applies. Love your channel I show your wisdom to my 13 year old son.

[@lukeevans525]

Both these men are true heroes 💪👏

[@ExnersRange]

I absolutely love this. A very true, genuine and personal experience. I’m Kind of in a tight spot myself right now. Weird place in life. Hit me right in the feels. I needed that. Thanks guys!!!

[@DudeWatIsThis]

This permeates all layers in everyday life. I'm a businessman, and I'm quite the kind, well-spoken, friendly guy. I'm not a pushy boss that constantly takes you out for beers, but I try to keep things friendly around the office, and I I'm always up to give you a day off if you need it, and I'm understanding of when people are having a rough time. With my partners, I try to discuss every detail in full, so I make sure that we both benefit from an agreement, and that everyone is in a comfortable position. Most people value this. But yes, some people take me for a weak guy. All I got to say is: 1. Everybody be a gangsta employee til I tell them to stay after work for 5 minutes, and they get to pack their shit. 2. Everybody be a gangsta partner til they get an email from a lawyer. Be kind, be nice to people. Just know when it has to stop and you have to turn the tables. And when you have to give an answer to an aggression, answer it with full force, no petty "half-measures" shit. Show them that you are not to be fucked with. "Where's Brian?" "Brian got fired yesterday because he was hurting my company and your jobs." - That has a greater effect than any threat or angry attitude you may try on people.

[@BradPitbull]

I STORE ALL MY KINDNESS AT THE BOTTOM OF MY.... SKINNY KNEES

[@marksteele1023]

You too eh boss!

[@davemaverick8438]

thought for a second it said kidneys

[@michaellandolfa4508]

Hey jocko. Love what you’re doing

[@agarrett4693]

Very true. I have struggled with this my entire life. Boss’ & coworkers, had to push back sharp sometimes to set it right. Struggled with having to be a jerk to get ahead - short term gains

[@cvcoco]

I got stepped on a million times because the other person (friend, lover, colleague, stranger) mistook kindness as weakness and when you do say NO, its met with high hostility because the weakness the other person assumed in you suddenly doesnt compute and it pisses them off. This leads a person to just shy away and stay away from people and be a hermit, deal with people at a distance.

[@TopFlightSecurity415]

i know exactly what you're talking about...im a generous person but once i notice you taking advantage of me ( as humans do) then im done with you

[@cvcoco]

@@TopFlightSecurity415 Yes its sensible but it doesnt go down well with the other person. "Dammit, i pegged you as weak and youre going to be weak and im going to take advantage of you if you like it or not!!" Its far better overall to fake strength, to be stoic, to be detached and aloof because those are the people who dont get fucked with. Any person too emotionally accessible is a walking dead man, sorry to say, they will be hunted and harrassed forever.

[@eternelle143]

Be kind because that is who you are and don't expect anything in return especially from anyone. 😊💖

[@jlm3336]

Tough people don’t act tough. Being a good person is the way to be . Foolish people think this is sign for weakness. Tough guys act tough because they are living in fear. They are scared Don’t mistake kindness for weakness. Be kind , it actually shows security and strength

[@mrhorsepower1526]

Share the positive freely with all..and refuse to let anything or anyone take it away !

[@TeamRukusMMA]

An absolute hero of a man

[@Phil5150Bower]

Jocko’s podcasts are consistently awesome 🤙🏻

[@iamtheiconoclast3]

This was a really well conducted interview.

[@DeathrashWhiplash]

I have struggled with this internal dilemma of "I want to be a kind person but I do not want to feel as though I am a pushover, or being taken advantage of, or mocked etc" and I learned by working with a psychologist that the answer to this is: What is the motivation behind your kindness? Are you being submissive or are you doing it by your own virtue? Also, there must be an element of assertiveness. To assert yourself you are looking out for your own well being at the same time as others. I have practiced being assertive (holding my own) and it is very empowering. I have had a fear of being assertive ingrained into me by being bullied by my brothers growing up and threatened with violence on multiple occasions. It is absolutely more so of a reflection of anothers character than your own if they assume your kindness is weakness. Sincere kindness is a mark of a very strong man.

[@FINALLYOUTAFTER7]

I never regret listening to Jocko. 👊🏽

[@jarhead03xx37]

Kyle Carpenter is a solid human being

[@lisa.9580]

So true don’t take kindness for weakness in life.

[@dcr00k]

I really like the message in this video. It’s ok to be a kind human being.

[@charlesbradshaw8673]

What an incredible person

[@skysurfer]

That was great what Jocko said about the long game. That feeling we get when someone acts like a jerk - that's an early warning system. Have you wondered how "easy" it is to remember that uncomfortable circumstance, almost like you're reliving it when you think about it? We misinterpret that analysis like, I wonder if I should have confronted that person when they cut in line, or "if i had to do it again I'd say this...". Over the years that feeling has helped me distance myself from that type of person, and cut those people out of my life that act like that (even if they are not acting that way towards me).

[@MrHellough]

Struggled with beating myself up my entire life because people always told me after the fact that I was too nice to someone that was taking advantage or whatever but this has been 1000% my long term experience

[@rlee6984]

Pure gold! Thanks guys

[@sililly1379]

So true. Hurt people hurt people. That's why I feed them with a long handled spoon. I show safe kindness.... It's like trying to rescue a drowning person. Jocko did make a teaching about it not too long ago. #Safe kindness

[@ThomasJamesCiesielski]

Run for President Jocko!

[@alfrancowillmaradams]

So true, short term i look weak, long term i lead.

[@chris-sc9cv]

Don't let this world change who you are or do anything other than shape what you want to become.

[@scotthalladay2210]

Finding a good human being might be hard to find now a days

[@Neithersilvernorgold]

I used to be a huge asshole because I didn’t want to be hurt but as I’ve aged I just want to share happiness and leave people with a positive attitude so they can share with the rest of the world, so come what may my attitude will always be to share happiness.

[@FIREMANDAN586]

WE DONT FEAR DEATH, WE WILL LAY OUR LIFE FOR OUR BROTHERHOOD AND NEEDED BE THE ONES WHO CANT PROTECT/SAFE THEMSELVES. FREE SPIRIT! SMILE AND KILL WITH KINDNESS!

[@johnsmith2221]

When you are truly kind, some people will try to take advantage of it and it can be difficult to stand up to them when you don’t want to be rude.

[@timteasley9918]

God bless you sir