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This is a mash-up of Doug's stand up from his special 'There's No Place Like Home' and his appearance on Louie, episode 'Eddie' (season 2, episode 9). This has been edited to give context to Doug's bit.
"life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it, and it's sucked every second so far. It probably isn't going to get great right at the very end for yah to make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for getting up and walking out early." -Doug Stanhope