Dr. K Chats with

[@HealthyGamerGG]

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[@Felice_Enellen]

Sorry to backseat, but I kinda feel like it might have been helpful to talk about what his Dad might have been thinking when he was being hyper-critical over fishing. Was he genuinely annoyed that Toast wasn't doing it right? Was it that he felt Toast didn't listen to, or follow, his teachings? Was it that he wanted his son to look good in front of others and he felt awkward when he wasn't catching fish? Was it that he wanted to look good himself for having a raised a son who was good at catching fish? Or was he just awkward at communication and grasping at the first opportunity he had to say something to Toast, even though it was negative? I'm sure I could come up with a lot of other gradations and permutations of motive. I know Dad's true motive probably doesn't actually matter all that much, but somewhere in there something would probably have elicited a reaction that could have been followed.

[@ladan7740]

I know its not content of this Video, but can you please help logans_house on twitch? You hosted him yesterday

[@LineLevesque]

@@Felice_Enellen Don't forget that this was about Toast, and not his father. They weren't there to analyze his father. That's also not a topic Toast was comfortable delving into, as he did say he doesn't really want to speculate for other people - or something like that. How his father relates to Toast isn't about Toast, it's his own issues altogether. He is teaching his son the way he was taught himself, I think. He's unconsciously trying to feel better about himself by thinking belittling Toast will make him feel superior. These could be the bottom line reasons, in my opinion. Sometimes parents love their kids the way they were loved, which is all they know how, and not necessarily in a loving way. Hope this helps. Sorry if I'm over stepping in responding.

[@raynac224]

i kept thinking what if the reason toast doesn't like the idea that someone he helps becomes famous but then leaves others behind is because when he unlocked his own potential and made himself famous he left Jeremy behind :'( I havent finished the video yet though XD maybe he gets to that idea too i'm only at 1:46:00

[@Felice_Enellen]

​@@LineLevesque I'm not actually all that interested in his dad's _specific_ inner reasons for doing that. It's more about wanting to get him to think about _how_ stuff like that even happens, never mind why. I've been in therapy and sometimes the most important thing was seeing that things that happened to me were sometimes caused by stuff that had _nothing_ to do with me. Usually people get messed up because they feel bad things happened to them because they weren't worthy. If you can get someone to see that the thing happened independent of their worth, that it would have found a way to happen even if they were the worthiest they could be, it can turn their life around. Like, I don't know anything at all about Toast's family, so I'll just make up _one_ hypothetical history to illustrate what I mean, and I'm just gonna make up names for Toast's three previous generations of elders with Wheat→Flour→Bread→Toast: Let's say Flour is the son of Wheat in a Chinese fishing village in the time of famine under Mao. Chinese culture is weighted very heavily towards the young supporting the old; during the famine it is literally a matter of life and death for Flour to be able to help catch fish to feed the family. He does, and Wheat is proud of him, so Flour grows up with a conviction that the true test of a man is his ability to catch fish and feed his family. When Bread is just a boy, Flour tries to teach him to fish, but the famine is over and Bread is not as motivated, so Flour gets mad and shows his disappointment. Bread, fearing parental disapproval, learns to fish and earns Flour's respect. Then along comes Toast. Bread thinks, hey, I never actually cared about fishing, but it was nice to bond with my dad, so I'll teach Toast to fish too. But Bread's only a passable fisherman and Toast is a flip-phone kid. Neither of them really wants to be there, but it's the only way Bread knows how to bond with a son. Probably neither the lessons nor the bonding really work out, given how that sort of situation tends to produce friction. But now that's the established pattern, it's the only thing he knows, so whenever they meet up, they go fishing, and the only thing he knows is that teaching equals bonding, so he looks for things Toast doesn't know so he can teach him and bond more. That's only one of the myriad ways that it could have happened, but the salient point is that there is absolutely no mention, anywhere in there, of Toast's actual worth. It's nothing to do with him. It's all about patterns and expectations that were built up in other people's minds decades ago. When a person sees that the reason why they perceive disapproval from their parent is entirely external, they will realize that when they thought they were judged unworthy, they weren't even being judged, it was just a pattern being followed. It's a feeling of freedom to know that it wasn't actually anything you did, that it was entirely out of your control. It lets you move on.

[@The.Painted.Angel.]

Damn as someone training to be a therapist, this is such a good example of handling people who are closed off like I've sat across from these people and it can get so frustrating but how calm and gentle Dr. K was is really educational for me.

[@mynty_me]

Mhmmm and this is why people go to therapy. These people need help in unwinding some thoughts they have. But they don’t know how to tell them plainly out as there is so much thoughts connected with each other.

[@justintimeleave1360]

Yea being able to listen and asking the right questions, allowing the space for the other person to be able to tell their story is such a skill. I think we can all learn that from Dr K.

[@MrSomarw]

woww this is sick

[@MrSomarw]

@@MushroomMario12 its human to get frustrated. to get frustrated isnt to express frustration. its to be frustrated. I get frustrated trying to talk to my grandma bc she doesnt speak very well english. doesnt mean i snap at her and yell and be rude and tell her i wish she was different. just something i work with in regards to her and myself. ❤️🐸

[@MrSomarw]

@@MushroomMario12 It is eyebrow raising to you. It seems normal to me that she’d learn of a literal professional as like you said she’s training to be a therapist. I’m not sure i understand your thinking. I had just told you being frustrated is a normal thing. because shes training to be a therapist it doesnt mean she is immune to feelings that humans get. Just like Dr.K. He doesnt NOT feel frustrated or annoyed with his patients. He just knows how to work around the patient WHILE feeling what he feels. That itself is enough to want to observe and learn. I’m still not understanding your thinking.

[@seasalllover]

toast: i cry every time i start to talk about emotions also toast: i’m fine i don’t need therapy

[@bobpope3656]

not every problem HAS to be fixed it would be nice, and i want all people to get help. but people can have a good life wile also having some problems.

[@Liimbozo]

You're implying all empaths have something wrong with them and need therapy. It sounded like Toast meant anytime anyone talks about emotions it makes him emotional, not just his own emotions. Seems like he's just an empath not some broken person.

[@seasalllover]

@@Liimbozo there’s a difference between being an empath and having suppressed your emotions for so long that you are unable to talk about them without tearing up and actively having to try to stop them from bubbling over-and I think toast is the latter. I don’t see many traditional empath traits in him.

[@Blueline3691]

Toast can do whatever he wants and in his in own time.

[@Clinterus]

It's like a house of cards posing as a brick wall.

[@natt2319]

when dr k said “i feel like you are talking about many things but not really saying anything ” that’s exactly what I was thinking and it was kinda frustrating to watch, but at the same time I understand toast cos I’m the same way. I imagine that’s how my therapist feels when talking to me xd

[@justjuniorjaw]

Toast has his walls set-up: he's being the entertainer even as a therapy is going on, he doesn't share much aside from mundane stuff anyone else experiences and try to make it a Dr K show instead of his own.

[@dankosoul]

I also think its because i believe he said before that he doesn't really want to be fully open about his feelings in public, so him actually coming here imo was already going to be like this. He said he woould gladly do it in private where he can share more openly

[@bobpope3656]

@@dankosoul i wonder if this is a step to private session, for toast. DR. K clearly likes toast more then other guest and i am sure would gladly help him.

[@Fufufugityryduv]

It kind of makes sense though. People who are able to pinpoint their problems very accurately usually don't need to see a psychologist. In my experience at least, therapy is mainly a bunch of dithering around until you get to the last 15 minutes and start getting to the point.

[@DGraze]

@@Fufufugityryduv have you been on any therapy season ?

[@AphasiacRaccoon]

"Hah, this guy's toast!" *But first we need to have a deeply insightful conversation because mental health is very important for everyone*

[@AXharoth]

Dr "Click" K

[@lcsquad.]

It’s Disguised Toast

[@keshi3887]

@@lcsquad. Im guessing ur a new viewer of toast

[@greedisbad9890]

@@lcsquad. in hearthstone there's a card where if you play it, the card will say "hah, this guy toasted" and it's sounds like disguised toast that's where toast get his name

[@kaichuwoo723]

@@greedisbad9890 Doesn't say toasted, just says toast but yeah that. "Heh, this guy's toast"

[@clindsay2011]

Man, I can’t help but feel that Toast has a lot of emotional problems that he’s rationalized himself self out of, yet has sunken even deeper into those problems. And since he can’t make sense out of logically, he doesn’t even notice it. Good luck to him.

[@IamYuto]

I feel the same. I always appreciate Toasts content and appearances, however, it was always weird to me that after every new drama he came on as the last person and gave a "final statement" about the whole situation as he would always know what's right or wrong. I deeply believe he has good intentions, but I don't think he is fully aware of his own state of mind and emotions. Logic is one thing but there is so much more to being human and how we behave. He can't even talk about some things without instantly tearing about because he has suppressed so much of his emotions for so many years. Which is also not a tragic thing and normal for us but at the same time talking often in a superior way about "fixing, and helping people" without realizing that he's basically the one that need most of the "fixing" at the moment. You could literally replace "other people" with "myself" every time he says it, and it would make total sense. As Dr. K summarized: He's a good guy, tho and he did many good things and had a huge impact. I just hope he takes care of his inner self otherwise there will be more suffering in the future :(

[@j.r.2674]

Exactly what has occurred.

[@tabby842]

He does notice it, at least one of his big problems, idk where in the video he says it since I watched the stream, but I know towards the end Dr.K gets him to realize that Toast doesn't need to be the entertainer to show his value towards people, that just being himself is enough. And Toast replies something like 'he's aware but it just feels plain good to make people laugh' and so he inevitably decides to keep doing what he's doing. This is why Dr.K is saying in a few years, if he hasn't resolved his problems to come see him. Because there's a chance that his coping mechanisms will fail him and Toast won't know how to cope since his only solution to his coping mechanisms failing is to double down and be even more of the entertainer. I.E digging a deeper hole, or as Dr.K said, being a cat that climbs the tree higher and higher with no way of getting down.

[@noobatnothing]

Scarra too!!

[@hansonel]

Same, I felt that he has a lot of emotional problems to deal with especially with rigid expectations for others and being betrayed. He also has a ton of defensive walls he throws up due to past hurt or traumas when Dr. K tried to get to the root of his issues.... Really hope he works on them since they could develop into personality disorders; namely covert narcissism or even BPD.

[@leafyleafyleafyn9785]

i think Toast needs a private one.

[@sparknazo]

He probably has cause toast said once he knew about the private ones he agree to do it and this session he was just general in everything but was probably saving his issues and problems for the privates like sykkuno said in his interview

[@MrNightpwner]

Don't we all

[@Simmons8519]

I honestly think Toast WOULDNT have agreed to do it if wasn't to create content... He seems so... emotionally disconnected from himself that I think the only reason he ultimately agreed to talk, was because it was in the format of "being content". It seems very much like actually opening up is the last thing he would be comfortable with, but talking for a show rationalized an excuse for him to reach out, and also gave him an excuse to NOT open up. His emotional core is begging for help and his rational mind is trying to protect him from the pain that doing so would cause.

[@VioletEmerald]

​@@Simmons8519To a lesser degree this reminds me of when I started blogging a decade ago instead of private Journaling about my own internal processing of my emotions and experiences related to my childhood of being verbally and physically abused and about my recent at the time realizations about my sexual orientation (asexuality) and... if I wasn't doing it to share with others I wouldn't have thought it was worth it to do at all. But it ultimately helped me a lot.

[@reu69]

i wonder if one day when dr. k says 'can i think for a moment' the guest is just gonna say 'no'

[@cosmicstenohaline]

lol, it's kinda funny to imagine

[@duck-ew5zs]

Then Dr. K starts hearing boss music

[@Law-of-EnTropy]

It happened a number of times

[@kellyrankin8844]

It's kinda weird

[@dannyg.4421]

I'll do it if I ever do lol

[@jeffry-kh9hy]

I feel like when Toast took off the mask 4 years ago is actually when he put on the mask that is now DisguisedToast.

[@Nestoras_Zogopoulos]

well thats poetic and all but it was probably before even that.

[@Inttallity]

Holy shit its only been 4 years? thought that shit happened in like 2012

[@JimmyHey]

@@Nestoras_Zogopoulos I agree, great poetry, but I'd assume that he put on that mask in 11th grade when he started doing magic tricks to acquire some sense of value or worth to himself and other people in his mind. So that instead of being the quiet kid, he now is someone, even if it's only to be the kid that does magic.

[@MindAsdf]

Bro

[@dizzy8225]

@@JimmyHey felt the same way bro. Just couldn't figure out how to find the right words. You worded this quite nicely 👌

[@ZePopTart]

26:30 “Have people ever taken advantage of you being nice?” “Nononononononono” *proceeds to give an example of someone taking advantage of being nice*

[@naritruwireve1381]

yeah, he's in denial over a lot of negative emotions... hope in the following years he will have learned more about himself

[@Real_MisterSir]

@@naritruwireve1381 I think he correlates how much something hurts him, with how relevant it is. When he can predict things going wrong, he can mentally prepare and be less hurt, thus he FEELS less taken advantage of. But in reality, objectively speaking, he IS taken advantage of regardless of how heavy the impact feels. As he says himself, he's good at predicting people's actions and seeing if someone is a trustworthy person or not, yet he often feels let down by others. Doesn't say hurt by others, but still let down. He's so emotionally closed off that those two have become entirely separated, feeling hurt by being let down. Essentially what it is, is a coping mechanism he has developed to a very high standard, so much so that he can easily logically explain it as if it's a feature that solves a problem, when in reality it's a cope that masks a problem. If the problem is masked, its impact is lessened and it doesn't feel bad in the moment. But the problem is still there. Seems like the root of many crossroads in his life are tied to how his emotions are tied to being let down, either because others let him down directly, or because he let someone else down who then in return left a bad impact on his emotions. And the cope is the band-aid, but underneath it's an open flesh wound. Dealing with why he has such a hard time facing letdowns, unfairness, and misuse of power (in his eyes, either towards him or those he cares about), is likely where he should start if he wants to be more free as a person in all aspects of life, not just his career which has essentially become his entire life since that's the main thing he's found great success with.

[@DARKSN0VV]

Toast has a massive wall, because he knows to be careful of what he says on the internet. Anything he says can and will be used against him. If it were a private session both of them would have progressed a whole lot more.

[@OMIMreacts]

yeah i got a similar feeling. i mean there also seems to be a wall around him in general, but since he is basically on the internet all of the time he always has to be careful of what he says

[@dtigheb]

I think maybe not. I am relating to almost everything toast is saying and doing (I’m at the half-ish mark in the video right now) and I know that I, even in private situations, have a really hard time escaping the feelings of self-incrimination. It is the single hardest thing for me to deal with and keeps me from really connecting with people emotionally.

[@LittleMew133]

Won't show his soft belly

[@BillytheEntertainer]

i think dr k did great under the circumstances. Toast clearly isn't ready to take the steps towards mental health things yet (which is fine, mental health treatment only really works if you have the desire to do it and put in the work), but Dr K was respectful of those boundaries, and we still got some extra insight on how Toast works. High fives all around

[@jessicatoussaint9140]

True. We all work at things at our own pace.

[@PierreBezemer]

I love how Dr. K is an OG Disguised Toast watcher. greetings fellow traveller

[@demp11]

And at the same time he didn't know toast got spammed 😂 Edit: I believe that he didn't know it just Found it funny, probably his wife who knew he liked him and wannet to make him a favour😂

[@ingahan5820]

he need study him beforehand... to gather some intel..

[@ohjajaja]

I think Dr. K is also treading in dangerous waters here, because as a long time fan, Toast might feel uncomfortable having someone having that "intel" over him while digging into very deep topics. Dr. K did a great job though respecting Toast on every level imaginable!

[@Xaphino]

Dr.K probably lied about that.

[@in3pt]

Did you guys see Dr. K's face when Toast was like, thanks for helping my friends cuz they arent good at expressing their emotions?? I bet Dr. K was like... says you! person that only gave me Disguised Toast and not Jeremy.

[@JimmyHey]

I was thinking the exact same thing :'D He kept dodging questions, not answering them straight like your typical politician does when put in a pinch and then he says that at the end lol They have at least been genuine and authentic and not tried to put on a half-assed show where you flip from sometimes giving a little genuinity to being back to dodging left and right. Dr.K called him out on his dodging himself :'D Man, I love Toast and I hoped he'd be genuine instead of putting on a show for content like usually. Just a little disappointed at this :( Edit: Thanks for all the replies. In hindsight I agree that my comment is rather harsh and that's probably due to my own expectation. I also worded some things pretty poorly, for example when I said he wasn't genuine or authentic. What I meant by that is exactly what Dr.K said himself. He isn't giving straight answers, he's deflecting when they're getting to a point and I think that just frustrated me, as a viewer, because I thought we were sort of gonna reach a climax, but I understand that if Toast isn't ready to talk about certain things, no one has the right to force anything onto him. And I think I certainly forced my expectation onto him while watching this. That's my fault. I agree that this is still a valuable and worthwile conversation.

[@beringtse]

@@JimmyHey hey this comment seems pretty harsh. Even if he didn’t answer some questions that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a valuable interview or that he wasn’t being genuine.

[@wryed]

@@JimmyHey I think if you want someone to be completely vulnerable in the public eye then that is contributing to the toxicity that harbors within streamers. Toast already makes himself vulnerable much more than others and we are normalized to what he shows us so when he does not show past that we subconsciously think he is hiding. yes he is hiding, but that's looking for something so deep when he already shows much past the surface 99% of the industry shows. your expectations have gone further past what he has given us and that is part of the inherent issue why streamers choose not to show in the first place

[@V4Andy]

Given his most recent drama I am not at all surprised that he would be evasive.

[@officialgoogleyoutube]

@@JimmyHey I suppose it's fair to be disappointed, but I think Toast gave as much as he could give. I don't think I'm being a Psychoanalysis Andy in saying that Dr. K didn't push for a reason. He said himself that Toast may not be ready to have certain intimate conversations until years down the road. You can only meet Toast where he is.

[@gigiblenkisop9003]

So crazy seeing someone so self aware but also so unaware of their own emotional health in ways

[@DanielSann]

It felt like dr k went in an hotel trying to open doors but the most important doors were closed.

[@justjuniorjaw]

Sometimes, revisiting the same hotel can be helpful. For now we wait, wait for the day Toast becomes more open.

[@ramontavaresdacruz2256]

@@justjuniorjaw Don't get your hopes up, but if he ever opens only he and the person who'll listen will know

[@bobpope3656]

@@ramontavaresdacruz2256 yes only people who can hear, will hear things.

[@jazeroliversy673]

@@bobpope3656 I think he just meant we won’t really know when he does because it will be private.

[@bobpope3656]

@@jazeroliversy673 i thought he was implying toast already is open just people don't hear it cause they don't care.

[@ladan7740]

I love the "can I think for a second", Im now using that aswell and its way better than saying nonsense

[@mason4720]

Strongly agreed!

[@LuckyStarfish]

Can I think for a second?

[@ladan7740]

@@LuckyStarfish of course you can :))

[@mkdmashup]

good job interview tips too!

[@ladan7740]

@@mkdmashup yup totally

[@inhyukjun1864]

Finished watching the VOD early, glad to see I was here early for once. The "one foot in the door and the other foot out the door" comment was spot on, I think. It's such a hard step to take when the base of your thoughts is "it's going to end one way or another anyways". It's almost like cynicism, but it goes deeper than that; his hesitancy to even risk a possibility of hurting someone he cares about stops him short of striving for happiness. I wish the best for Toast.

[@Kelly-wc2si]

This comment reminded me of another stream where Dr. K pointed out something like, as long as someone expects rejection, they can probably get over someone leaving/abandoning them. And while that may seem strong, being able to accept that you are worthy of love and that the person may still reject/abandon you takes significantly more work.

[@MrMcwesbrook]

It was interesting that he said he doesn't want friends to get too familiar because people always say that your closest friends can give you shit. Then he brought up the Dany GoT reference where people loved her and feared her. It's almost as though he wants his friends to be close to him enough to love him, but not so close that they get comfortable enough with him to call him on his shit in a way that comes across as disrespectful. I wonder if he's afraid of unconditional love or has been hurt by someone who he shared unconditional love with, or witnessed someone being hurt by unconditional love.

[@tehgamist7139]

I hate to name names. But lily. I think two events stick out he witnessed her hurt by her unconditional love for Albert. and I think second he invested time into fed’s career to get betrayed in the worst way.

[@VinoDeRio]

@@tehgamist7139 you said exactly what I was thinking. He's seen some tough stuff

[@MrMcwesbrook]

@@tehgamist7139 That sucks, I can see where he is coming from then.

[@bruno4499]

There is no such thing as unconditional love,please stop using those two words together.

[@BenedictGS]

Let stop putting unconditional and love together, and also lets stop posing our opinion as if it is a "fact" and demand other to agree to the "fact".

[@in3pt]

Jeremy is repressed by Toast. Toast rarely lets Jeremy show. I hope that Toast has a private session with Dr. K and talks about his actual issues. He dodged all the deep questions and I am not surprised by that at all. I just hope he ACTUALLY talks with Dr. K privately to help with his deeper emotional issues and the mask he constantly wears.

[@heylilpissbaby2099]

Yea so true, it’s honestly so weird bc I feel like we as viewers expect this sort of thing from sykkuno but once you start watching toast more and more you see the persona he puts up it’s almost like he exaggerates certain parts of his actual personality ironically like roleplaying, it brings a whole new meaning to that one statement sykkuno made about when he and toast got closer and they realized they were really alike wow

[@GM-yb5yg]

I agree, but I would rather frame it defferently,; Toast is created by Jeremy, Jeremy is hiding Jeremy via Toast. Either way, this dude just is NOT ready to actually take a look at himself, which is sad, but we gotta respect that.

[@SkillsofAWESOMENESS]

That's the thing. It really feels like Toast has zero interest in taking off the mask. Either he doesn't know how much it's hurting him or doesn't care. I think DrK realized this and held back a lot of big questions.

[@nayswhan1022]

I perceived it that at this point Jeremy and Toast is the same person. Just like what he said. Its not that Jeremy is hiding behind Toast but rather Toast is the evolution of Jeremy. He still has the traits that Jeremy had but he also had these new found traits the he gained when he became Toast. Or Toast is just his persona in front of the camera and Jeremy is who he is outside of the public`s eyes.

[@NguyenNguyen-xv8li]

You know how some people can't be separated from their personas or their characters that they portray? A lot of times they become them almost that there is no difference. Toast over the time sounds like Toast has over taken Jeremy and has been living and meeting everything that Toast resembles or embodies and along the way neglected jeremy as a person and who he is as a person over all. Him talking to Dr. K will propagate his self growth. I know toast will get there eventually as he is going down this path that most of us face in life. I hope over time toast can separate himself from jeremy even if he decides to never stream again. I hope he also realizes that people watch the dr k episodes initially for the content and then once they get in they see how beneficial this is to people every where. I have learned so much about myself and others and to be kinder overall just from watching dr k. Like he has said seeing others exhibit same problems as you it lets you lower your ego so you internalize what is being said. edit: i hope toast/jeremy has more conversations with dr k online or offline because you can see him start to lower his guard and sometimes pick it back up through out.

[@PierreBezemer]

2:46:30 - 2:47:07 very true, followed up by: 2:47:07 - 2:47:20 and here we see Dr. K, the OG Disguised Toast viewer, EXACTLY knowing what Toast did to become relevent and big and curving that energy back into some truth spear that he knows will hit Toast critically, hoping that Toast would understand. As an OG Toast viewer myself, I salute your meta advice there Dr. K

[@CodyMerritt]

This was super interesting to watch. I felt like DisguisedToast is the most guarded guest I've seen talk with Dr. K, which honestly makes me respect him more for putting himself out there like this.

[@MegaLuc3]

Toast seems very level-headed, but there's clearly some stuff going on behind the scenes in his head. Poor guy

[@ninevolt]

@@Mell0wY3ll0w I'm going to guess they watched the Twitch stream when it was live

[@jazeroliversy673]

@@ninevolt lmao big oof

[@SteinerNein]

He's not really that level headed, but I'll agree with you - poor guy.

[@revaamritkar7281]

He's definitely still deeply affected by everything that happened with Fed. Check out the OTV Thanksgiving video, he sent Fed a letter for being his close friend and teared up there too. Probably the first time I saw Toast being this emotional, and then again when he was talking about Fed after the drama.

[@Xeando]

He's lightyears away from level-headed my man

[@georgiepentch]

1:59:12 I love how Dr. K was ready to end the interview and then Toast said this and Dr. K was like "oh boy, here we go"

[@whodis113]

"we need more sessions...."

[@mayqs1231]

The moment Toast said this... Dr. K is like YUP.. I stumbled upon a legendary card.. also when he said the one foot out the door.. that one got Dr. K to go like bruh this is juicy stuff you giving at the end of the streammmmm!! He kept smiling coz thats the point when he was like I need this guy to do a private session down the line FOR SURE...

[@vespereer8450]

I was wondering when DisguisedToast was going to be on here and it's finally here with 3 hours worth of conversation! Thank you HealthyGamerGG team for bringing Toast on!

[@coldravioli7839]

It sounds to me like the Fed thing hurt him a lot more than one might expect.

[@its1374]

Yes. Fed did lot of damage and toast feels he is responsible for OTV. Therefore, he pull the entire OTV as a group.

[@justinedzard]

I've been in Toast's position (the culprit's actions aren't as bad as Fed's) It's been 5 years and the bad taste still sticks to this day

[@justintimeleave1360]

Yes I think it hurt the group a lot but I like to think it brought the rest of them closer.

[@lila9349]

Having your trust broken hurts. It hurts even more so for someone who doesn't give their trust lightly.

[@Kenkatsu17]

There was also Chris and Albert before that, so he's been burned a lot.

[@LucaTony]

Man... Seeing Toast cry whenever he talks about his emotions hits super hard... I have a feeling a lot of men like Toast (and myself) have been told all their lives to repress their emotions because its not "manly" to cry and it ends up just making us impossible to talk to others about our emotions. I know Toast doesn't like it whenever we praise him for stuff like this, but it was really brave and strong of him to openly talk about touchy and emotional subjects knowing how he will react in front of tenths of thousands of people live and countless more on KZbin videos. Boys, let your emotions out. Its important to process them

[@ramontavaresdacruz2256]

It's important, but it's also completly different for each person. As you yourself said, I know you might have had the struggle to literally find the words to describe whatever the fuck you were feeling and thus it becomes a hard situation to deal with. Aknowledging a feeling, "letting your emotions out", isn't that much helpful if you don't understand the whys

[@BennyGoId]

"tenths of thousands" Hmm....

[@jazeroliversy673]

@@BennyGoId ur one of those kind of people huh

[@StoopsyDaisy]

In my life, I've never had someone tell me it's not "manly" to show my emotions. So for me, I find I'm not emotional when I need to be, not because I'm afraid of looking weak, but because I recognize how I should be feeling vs how I actually am. So instead I get caught up in a mind game if that makes any sense at all. Like, I want to cry, but I know that's expected, so when I do finally cry, I feel good, in the way that I'm relieved I can cry, but then me recognizing that, makes me stop crying hahah.

[@jazeroliversy673]

@@StoopsyDaisy I feel you. In my time as the captain of our school’s championship volleyball team I felt like I always had to be mentally strong for everyone. If the captain starts getting scared and nervous in game, the team’s morale is basically fucked. I felt scared out of my mind several times of performing badly, but I always had to be the one shouting encouragements and being loud on court. It helped me to be a good leader, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t fuck me up. I feel like I’m just scared to show weakness now.

[@jesselee4453]

Toast reaaallllyyy does a good job of acting and portraying the idea that he doesn't need anyone and nothing is wrong. It works, soo often it works.. but only for soo long. Always liked the guy, such a straight forward and funny dude. Reminds me of my brother, only kind of serious conversations he can ever have are sarcastic ones. Thoughts and feelings buried soo deeply beneath the ever thinning facade of hilarity and chill.

[@user-nu2vc9mp5j]

If they are content is there really a problem? Mental? Social? Romantic ? Is it a problem if he likes beimg the guy who keep his feet out to aboid commitment when he dont even care for 1?

[@theot1692]

I feel like on some level toast knows how valuable therapy can be for him because every time Dr k wants to end the session, he brings up a new topic.

[@jonpaullevi7855]

@@ohjajaja it's not neat

[@ohjajaja]

@@jonpaullevi7855 RIP dankness. Thanks, have a nice day.

[@OMIMreacts]

I agree, but to be fair, Dr. K also kept bringing up the relationship topic. It was an interesting conversation to listen to

[@MindAsdf]

All the otv members have said "it is what it is" to Dr K and I find it adorable

[@FeelingLucky246]

And Rae said it in JHB interview, I really want her to do one of these, but I wouldnt push it on her.

[@vaguelysomething]

Been wanting Toast to do this for so long

[@ZePopTart]

I read that as “I’ve been wanting to do toast for so long” 🤭 time to lay off the coffee

[@Cameruption]

Sykkuno next pls or CORPSE!

[@floatingblaze8405]

​@@Cameruption Sykkuno said that he has some things he doesn't want to talk about yet on stream, and I doubt Corpse would risk coming on a Dr. K stream for obvious reasons

[@DaisyStalls]

Samee

[@maxs.6517]

@@floatingblaze8405 what obvious reasons?

[@MrPromech]

At least in the beginning it sounds to me like Toast might be feeling responsible for the fed thing even though it was not at all his fault. Like he might feel like he invested too much into him for what he ended up doing.

[@Potatoe-f6u]

Yeah. I was wondering if maybe that whole thing where he's worried people will disappoint him is mostly a worry that he will help the wrong person and then they'll misuse the power he helped them gain and he'll feel partially responsible. I feel like that side of things went unexplored and the focus was on him being hurt directly, like with abandonment stuff.

[@JimmyHey]

@@Potatoe-f6u Yea, but I'd bet that although Dr.K has talked with Yvonne about this there's no way that if he didn't actually follow all that drama, watching the vods on KZbin, he'd make the connection there. I don't think Fed's name was ever dropped, they (at least in the publicly available vods) never went extremely far into depth about who Fed is. They talked about what he did and his impact, but not about him. So I understand that from Dr.K's pov he doesn't tie Toast speaking on this back to Yvonne and how he feels partially responsible and guilty. What I wanna say is I can't blame Dr.K for shifting the focus to something else and letting this be unexplored because he doesn't have the context to tie this together. And I'd also guess that Toast probably may have felt that it isn't his place to speak on this, since it's Yvonne's Story and the focus should be on her side of the story instead of Toast feeling guilty (If I'm trying to see this from Toast's perspective, this is what I'd assume he'd think).

[@blyth4253]

@@JimmyHey im mot totally sure, but if im not wrong, he did help Lily when all those things with Fed happened, i remember scarra thanking Dr. K about doing a session with Lily about it, maybe he didnt want to push the topic on toast exactly because he knew Toast wouldnt want to talk about it on public.

[@xkarenfromfinancex661]

He has definitely said something along those lines when everything went down

[@aaroncarrig6689]

I took the point about Toast investing in people just to be disappointed not only the Fed incident, but where he is now. I think they touched on it when discussing Toast knowing where his celling is, but didn't go in depth enough. I feel that Toast is at a crossroads where AmongUs is done and other streamers he has tried to help are going their own ways and not including him. I think the Fallon incident hurt him more than he lets on. I think he sees this as a point where his friends are going in other directions, and up, but not reaching out to him to go with them. I see his current interactions with Yvonne both as a way for fill his guilt for the Fed incident, but also as a way for him to help someone else and lift them up.

[@aksaranai]

Idk man but this toast looking more and more delicious nowadays

[@william2154]

Hes lookin like a snack with this haircut. Damn

[@cindy-wj4wh]

@@zetoghetto well the vids about three hours and seeing how much time they have little moments of silence there was plenty of time to appreciate toast his deliciousness

[@Zetraxes]

Watchu mean, T-Dragon always looked steam pipin' hot fresh outta the toaster

[@HalfinchLonomia]

@@cindy-wj4wh you actually sit there and stare at the people talking? I might glance over at my second monitor every minute or 2 when something interesting is said. Cant imagine actually sitting there for 3 hours watching two guys talk lol

[@BigFanOfCocks]

@@HalfinchLonomia ahaha... _sweats_ yeah who watches two people talking for 3 hours genuinely interested in this... ahaha............

[@dizzy8225]

I am very similar to toast emotionally, I am very composed, calm and collected with my emotions and inner thoughts. I don't think I've truly opened up to anyone without breaking down. I am able to make a joke or logical excuse to mask my emotions. Might try to get a therapist for myself

[@OMIMreacts]

i was the same 4 years ago. hadn't cried in ages. and then i slowly started the process of opening up to my emotions. it certainly is a long and hard and uncomfortable road, but it also feels like unlocking new (or rather, forgotten) parts of yourself. like finding puzzle pieces of yourself and building yourself. i am in therapy right now and what i find is that when you are truly ready to make a change, it can really be lifechanging.

[@idoneakw9996]

The second half of this session is really the best bit, where we finally see a little bit of Jeremy. I think the first half he spends dodging every question that might make him emotional in any way. He still does it in the second half but I feel like there was a little more trust built.

[@reallivebluescat]

He is really good at beating around the bush ,not getting to specific and also deflecting in ways of saying "it upsets me when they hurt other people".

[@biggsdrasil]

"It's not about making the best deck, fuck the meta... It's about the memes." How so incredibly nerdy and profound, Dr. K. One of the best things I've ever heard you say, and you have had PLENTY of gems. I love your work, please do keep it up as long as you can

[@OMIMreacts]

yeah its like Dr. K puts some old and almost stereotypical wisdom into new langauge that we can actually relate to. its aweseome and much needed!

[@JM-ko8qs]

Could y'all explain to me what he meant by that ? I'm not sure I understood

[@TheDhammaHub]

Being likeable and relateable all the time as a streamer certainly isn't easy

[@proger1960]

I agree , but I guess it's a job after all since technically they're an entertainer

[@noobiewatcherz9938]

It's hard because your fake likable personality eventually cracks and shows your true self after you're tired from pretending so long ,, and that "self" becomes a face to look at and just ignore after a while .

[@jerrisatyourwindow]

@@noobiewatcherz9938 the problem is, toast can’t really identify his fake persona from his real one, based off the clips I’ve seen

[@DGraze]

@@noobiewatcherz9938 it's not about being fake, toast realize that jeremy is just an introvert guy. and if he wears his toast mask, he can explore more of this world, be more productive and be more socialize. which is 100% better, and he realize why would he take his mask off, if his persona in the mask is more fun and more engaging to live this world.

[@adamc5914]

It's honestly really cool that he actually spoke the "I tear up when talking about anything emotional for no actual direct reason" thing out loud. I experience that too but I had never thought about it, I just kind of try to rush past/around it. Now he's got me thinking about it and I really relate. My guess to an explanation is just that when we're closing ourselves off and keeping things inside all the time, it can feel like such a relief just to open up about anything, regardless of specifics. Speaking from my own experience I think the tearing up comes from that relief that comes with "exhaling" all of that surface level veneer that we sometimes feel like we have to maintain. I didn't know a ton about Toast before this, and even sort of felt a little abrasiveness when he was in other peoples' stuff I have watched, but after relating in this way to him and being impressed by his cognizance to actually notice what was going on where I didn't, I can feel he's a really cool and nice guy. Yes, I teared up writing this comment. :)

[@squeakypistonproductions2228]

So toast dates down to avoid the hurt of being rejected. Then he discovers traits about his partner that are undesirable to keep himself from falling for someone. You can say this pattern is to protect the other person all you want but its really about protecting you.

[@dtigheb]

Agreed, I’ve done the same thing in some of my relationships. It’s a pattern born of insecurity, which never ends well. I feel bad for him because if he’s like me he wants to meet people that love him unconditionally more than anything but he can’t ever get close enough to them to trust them unconditionally.

[@user-nu2vc9mp5j]

absolutely correct, his feeling comes first, hes desires come first. eveyrhitng is about value with him so when the other person cannot bring the value to the table he has no reason to stay with them either. his not the type of person that look pass their flaws, if anything attracted to a "flawed" person so he has something to do not the flaws themself. if anything id say this is just straight up fuckboi move.

[@rusinsr]

I REALLY appreciate Toast doing this. Even though it seemed like a lot of dead ends / loose ends, the last 2 hours of this were very relatable. I think I share the same mindset as Toast on a lot of relationship issues and fears, so having Dr. K dig deeper was really insightful. Some answers even really helpful. Thank you Toast and Dr. K!

[@rusinsr]

Also is there a definitive answer to the question / problem of "there could always be a better match for me / how do I know if this person is the one?" Or is it something each and every one of us has to think about and come to a conclusion ourselves about?

[@theboogeyman2590]

Same

[@faitthy]

this was one of the most interesting streams of dr k's ive seen. what an absolute champ, after he pointed out walls being put up i started from the beginning and could tell by his expressions when he started to recognise what was happening which i never picked up on at all. to be expected bc he's a professional but i mean what an absolute madlad, such a gift to the community. also props to toast for coming on i wish the best for him.

[@ayako6046]

Toast has gone through so much and has seen his friends go so much. And I feel like he was always the middlemen between them talking about how they feel and toast translating it to the person. And seeing this toast knows how It feels to be a middlemen and doesn't want others to feel the same burden.

[@ramontavaresdacruz2256]

Oh it's so hard to live your life when you literally think and rethink every single word you'll say because you're trying to manipulate the outcome to your liking. And sometimes that's not even something people do consciously

[@iCydiaHelper19]

And the scariest thing is to think that the result will be a happy and content life. I have honestly never felt so sorry for any host on this channel.

[@ramontavaresdacruz2256]

​@@iCydiaHelper19 I'm someone who struggle a lot with it. And seeing Toast just made me see myself a few years back. I already spent 1 hour being quiet, sitting in front of a psychologist 'cuz I "felt" like I had no problems, or if I did, I was too ashamed or scared to talk about them. Also, when you're smart you end up wanting to solve things by youself, not because asking for help seems weak, but because it's a good feeling to deal with our own shit, right? Dr K talked about "too much awareness", and I do think Toast could be seen as someone too much aware. When you're that good at logic and reading people it makes no sense to NOT think everything thoroughly, I mean it's what technically separates us from the other animals, but there's the mistake, no matter how smart and good with logic a human being is, we'll always be closer to "other animals" than we'll ever be from the machines we idealize ourselves to be

[@iCydiaHelper19]

@@ramontavaresdacruz2256 Yes I totally agree. I don't doubt that Toast is a smart guy who can logically justify anything that is hapenning to him so it seems like he doesn't have any problems and if he does he can think about them and resolve it. However in this case the intelligence is not in his favor. As with all of the people on this channel, Dr. K aims to people's emtional side. So even though he rationally cannot seem to think of an important issue to talk about, he has undegisted feelings inside of him which makes your life less enjoyable even though you rationally don' t understand it. So when he tried talking about some situation which was connected with strong emotion, he immidiately started crying and it was clearly overwhelming for him. However if you asked im rationally why he was crying I feel like it would be hard for him to describe the reason. Yeah very interesting to watch him react.

[@WanderTheNomad]

Even if you're trying _not_ to manipulate the outcome to your liking, that's _still_ manipulating the outcome to your liking. It's like the awareness of the outcomes of your words/actions is a curse that turns each and every one of your words/actions into manipulation.

[@iCydiaHelper19]

@@WanderTheNomad Yes that is very true indeed. I guess that the best thing for you to do is try to understand who you are as a person and act on it. The outcome of your liking from the outside world is in my eyes something you cannot control.

[@rraebanzzzz]

Toast's smile is infectious and beautiful. I hate to see him sad.

[@mutantbananas1]

He has such a sad smile

[@quintboredom]

it's such a fake smile. I mean the guy seems cool, but it gets uncomfortable that he smiles even when he' doesn't mean it. You can even see the tension in his mouth cuz he tries to hold the smile at most times. It's so fake, but I can tell why it's appealing for the internet. So sad for the guy

[@AmbiCahira]

I can't express how much I love watching this conversation because I love watching strategic people interact like this where each move (or things said) gets taken in, digested, then the response gets thought through instead of spat out without thought with a rush. Love it ^^

[@GlobusTheGreat]

But it also feels less genuine. I feel like Toast isn't introspective enough to deal with feelings that he can't preprocess and rationalize. He rejects concepts that would cause him to reconsider other things and uses rationalization as a defense. That's how I see it anyways. He's not truly willing to be vulnerable (I might just be projecting, but that's how I see it)

[@vivvpprof]

I've never heard of a therapist reaching out to a patient before and now we all know why… this guy didn't want to change anything and that was made visible at the outset.

[@JoshsoJB]

It feels like I'm being dug into and dissected just by watching these even if I don't relate to the person's problems. I get really secondhandedly uncomfortable yet I keep watching lol

[@Bambi-nv2ze]

Wow u described what I was feeling

[@_Colie]

Exactly!

[@pageturner72]

high empathy

[@whoshotya117]

Dr.K: Yeah Scarra I find the limit is about 2 hours. *Proceeds to go 3 hours with Toast*

[@EthanLafferty]

Scarra was also infinitely more open about his issues and didn't dodge every single question

[@BG_808]

"If you live for the cheers, then you die by the boo's".

[@kaizerhart4694]

In military, we have this programming called "Ignore and Override". It works until the small crack become this big chasm that was left unattended and broke everything.

[@rexaustin2885]

But you were useful till then and that is what matters. There are plenty more to be used as replacement.

[@OMIMreacts]

1:22:02 Toast instantly switching into Entertainer-mode once he's alone is actually insanely funny

[@Killertiller01]

Right, I also find it inspiring.

[@proger1960]

Toast is just a truthful and logical person and upfront about a lot of things , which makes his personality pretty good and I guess that's why I like him lol

[@fna5360]

Being that logical and blunt while still holding deep value for people. Not the most common combination for sure.

[@UnknownCartoonEditor]

I wouldn’t say upfront too much. He’s upfront about DisguisedToast, but not about Jeremy because of the fear of being the irrelevant loner he was before 11th grade. A big portion of his life he doesn’t dive too deeply or personally.

[@UnknownCartoonEditor]

I’m not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, everyone has something to improve upon

[@timom9833]

lol

[@jazeroliversy673]

@@fna5360 yeah look at me, I’m blunt and say what I mean, but don’t give shit about what others feel when I do so XD. It’s definitely a delicate balance that I have not mastered.

[@Hanachan721]

Everyone asks "Toast are you okay?", but nobody asks "Jeremy are you okay?"

[@kseniamatthews5491]

Because Jeremy prefers Toast.

[@kilroymoa]

You're not his friend, he said that before.

[@sparknazo]

@@kseniamatthews5491 true but at times Jeremy is the one "needed"

[@WaitASecant4869]

@@sparknazo name is just a sort of identification. if toast personally identifies with the name toast more than jeremy, then toast is needed more than jeremy. which one he's born with doesnt matter at all

[@ohjajaja]

​@Zasia Zubair That's exactly the Problem Dr. K tries to tackle here. You think you see Toast in stream and are like "yeah okay, this dude is chill. He knows what's up, has a regular life and has a cool internet persona while at it. He can call himself Toast whenever he wants". He can certainly call himself that for sure. But it seems like his persona completely took over his very psychological life. So far that is, that he calculates in some "bad" content to be perceived as being more human. He tries to convince himself not to be a computer, trying to be the most optimized streamer/entertainer. The most spoken word from Toast here was probably "content", even when talking about friends. I'm sure Toast has friends he has passionate and deep conversations with. But he himself (the acutal Jeremy) does have no space in his inner workings. He's funny and smart. Lots of people like him. I like him for sure and hope he frees himself from some of those shackles.

[@justjuniorjaw]

Something I took note of in the stream : I think many can see Toast has many walls, walls that we need to peel (Think of it like an onion). However, we can't just peel the wall away, whatever we peel we have to look at both sides of each peel. As Dr K and Toast has said, Toast is the kind of guy that has one foot out of the door when it comes to decisions. Decision that can create a big impact in his own life. Toast isn't a straightfoward guy, he always have atleast 2 thoughts on something before saying/taking action on it. Making him stand firm on either side of the door while he's stuck one foot out of the door is not easy. This doesn't mean he can't stand firm on whichever side; we've seen a lot in his actions where we see him stand with both feet on one side. The most prevalent being how he takes care of his friends emotionally. Didn't want to say much so I'll leave this as is.

[@farewell2957]

I have a very similar situation to Toast's, and I feel like I want to stop noticing all the problems that lead me to the ocean of very different emotions. I feel like I want to become an actor, and just tell/explain to the people what they are doing wrong not to get hurt as I did because of my flaws. It feels like Toast is a life roleplayer, which helps me understand him very very much. I don't know how to get out of it. I'm starting to have serious issues like that and I don't know what to do. I can't let my emotions overtake me because there is nothing I'm gonna come to.

[@marley7659]

@@farewell2957 I would like to tell you that emotions are not the bad guy. In fact experiencing emotion is the most important part of what makes us human. It can provide relief. If you need someone to talk to I suggest trying to reach out to friends and family. Or alternatively looking for a professional to speak with. Healthy people can still go to a counsellor or psychiatrist. Its about learning skills to have a healthy relationship with ourselves and others. Sometimes you need to experience those emotions to provide context to your past or present. Learning tools to deal with life in a healthier way. Fighting ourselves isn't a good idea.

[@pumpkin629]

@@farewell2957 Emotions are one of the things that make life worth living. As much as you don't want to let your emotions overtake you, its good to know that there is nothing wrong with being moved by emotions as long as you have logic to back you up.

[@zaksmith1035]

@@farewell2957 If you're an analytical person, and make decisions based on efficiency and rationality, that generally means you don't spend as much time in your feelings. Because of that, it is often distasteful, uncomfortable, or even downright terrifying to think of allowing yourself those feelings. After all, they often only come at times of chaos and distress, when your normal methods for engaging with the world have all failed. On top of that, when they arrive( or you can't hold them back any longer), they come with a force that threatens to overwhelm you, and often you make decisions that you can regret later. As a result of this, you may view your emotions as the enemy, chasing you and threatening to "overtake" you, as you said. It's counter intuitive that this is exactly the wrong attitude, and you must meet your emotions as the friend you never knew you had. I look at it as muscle groups that you haven't worked out, and therefore whenever you try to use them everything falls apart. However, if you learn to exercise, then you have a new tool you can use. For us who live more in our feelings, we have the advantage in the fact that we are taught how to rationalize in school. However, no one equips the rational for traveling the path of feeling, so it's a hard road to travel. The only thing I can tell you is that exercising your feelings involves a function that runs counter to your norm. Most of your life you've been utilizing a paring function, trimming down options and removing what doesn't fit. Categorizing options into sets and then making an effective decision based on the data. Feelings work in the exact opposite manner. Because there is no direct logic to them, they must be accepted in order for you to understand what they're trying to tell you. This is difficult because they do not operate in accordance with direct logic, and so the part of you that is rational seeks to reject the feeling before you even know it is there( oftentimes). But this is exactly why your feelings appear strongly when they appear. They aren't attempting to blindside you, but they have a message they've been trying to get across for long enough that they end up screaming in order to be heard. Then you fear them more, run farther and faster, and the vicious cycle repeats. There is nothing wrong with your rational approach to life, however in order to become balanced in your life you must make peace with, and even friends with your feelings.

[@user-nu2vc9mp5j]

Maybe his not that complex as people make him to be

[@azzazelynn988]

I saw a comment in chat that was super accurate: Toast doesn't just have walls. He has mountains....and they're portable. Idk if that's a reference to something or not, but it's still spot on lol.

[@kunilsen2519]

Yeah, Toast knows how to keep his walls up and move them around so it isn`t too obvious. In a normal one-on-one session where Toast doesn't want to open up, he would easily move the conversation along where he wants it to go, or lure the person into thinking he has opened up (and in some sense he has), but they are just wandering around different walls and not really breaching them. As Dr.K said, Toast is slippery. But of course, Dr.K catches on to that easily, so I found this very interesting. I love and find Toasts mind so interesting.

[@kiefernobody]

Watched this live on one of my worst days in the past few months and it ended up being the one I related to the most out of all the interviews. No wonder some people are so certain their is a god.

[@proger1960]

Yes I agree

[@MsAudience]

❤️

[@FrankieSavino]

Thank goodness he got on. He's needed to talk about some things for a while

[@jerrisatyourwindow]

I think there was a situation where toast was seeing amigops fanart without him in it, and he was feeling very hurt that people forget about him. The way he was talking made it sound like he knew something like this would happen. Then the jimmy fallion thing occurred. Was he thinking about this stuff when he was a hearthstone streamer Does toast have a very powerful fear of being irrelevant or something

[@Nestoras_Zogopoulos]

probably, since he based his entire self-worth around his successful internet persona

[@Astral0G1]

Most internet personalities have that fear. Toast just brings it up often

[@flashwithsymbols2779]

@@Nestoras_Zogopoulos pretty much, he's literally said this exact thing before.

[@Nezumi--]

he's mentioned that fear a few times, and mentioned that he and Corpse felt very similar on that topic

[@CaptainFracture]

He gave sykunno the boost he needed and now sykunno has surpassed him in every way

[@bryanlin8333]

Love how they're talking about him being an entertainer and having to make content 24/7. Dr K leaves for 20 seconds (1:22:00) and he can be so entertaining in such a short time.

[@OMIMreacts]

for real Entertainer Toast is SO FUNNY! I was giggling for a good while and replayed that part

[@brndaBUM]

I have some guy friends that are like Toast, and in relationships they are similar (they tend to be more logical, have a strong moral compass based on their own values/beliefs), who are having a hard time being in a relationship

[@BenedictGS]

Let me revise it to be more accurate "because some or most relationships, are bullshit these days"

[@BenedictGS]

@@forcedge2302 Well i hope you find your unicorn too.

[@agari229]

I was waiting for this session not because I wanted it to be entertaining. I watch these to HELP MYSELF, so hearing Toast would be on, I kinda knew he might for sure have something in common with me that I could takeaway. Boy was I right.

[@sasharodriguez384]

This toast guy really reminds me of my ex. Super guarded and out of touch with emotions. Always has that chill and "everything is fine" attitude. Smiling and slightly laughing through the awkwardness and discomfort. Even down to the way he makes those sounds when he's thinking of how to respond. My ex is from Japan and I've often wondered how much the culture has to do with it. I hope this guy has since gotten therapy, everyone can use it.

[@MS-ov9sv]

Loved the kids coming in and Dr K handling that with such accepting love ❤

[@primedevil3883]

They both are so smart in a different way it interests them about each other

[@officialgoogleyoutube]

I remember Toast characterizing a lack of self-confidence or self-worth (I don't remember which) as something that Sykkuno had which differentiated them. Maybe it's really something they have in common.

[@justintimeleave1360]

I think the similarity between toast and sykkuno is they accept betrayal as the default response to their kindness. The difference is they choose different approaches because toast builds these wall to protect himself while sykkuno goes all in in being open about accepting any shittiness you dish out on him.

[@tenki-no-ko]

I can relate to Toast when he chokes up when sharing emotions. Even though I don’t feel that sad about it, for some reason my tear ducts open when I show any bit of vulnerability to someone.

[@lococappi]

The fact that toast doesn’t know how big of an impact he has like during covid your videos brought us joy the world is a better place because of you

[@russellgotiangco9987]

1:29:40 "In my mind they're the same person" 1:32:07 "Ahh so there is a difference" Did Dr. K plan this or was it coincidence

[@Cra3ture]

He's a professional. That was probably planned.

[@johnnybravo6019]

Yeah there is a difference but still they're the same person.

[@loloioi]

It definitely was planned. Dr. K is so good at setting things up. I've noticed many mental buildups that Dr.K laid down. It's pretty fascinating.

[@alexhachem814]

A good therapist plans these things on purpose. They can't drop the realizations on your head, they have to lead you where you need to go.

[@chairofthebored]

Toast is definitely dealing with some stuff that he doesn't want aired out in the public. His friends are moving onwards and upwards, but a lot of them blew up over the last year due to sharing in that little OTV and Friends spotlight where Toast and his Among Us games were the reason so many tuned in. So now the guy who's used to being the smartest one in the room, the one with the most viewers, and the one with the most attention is being left behind and alone. But knowing his character he's probably still gonna help them get bigger and bigger because he wants to feel useful to them since that's how he equates his worth. "Nobody will be my friend if I don't have something useful to offer to them". A lot of people, myself included, fit into this category because they were raised/repressed to think this way I bet that the Jimmy Fallon thing definitely hurt more than he let on and was probably a *huge* blow to his confidence. How would anyone in his position not have thoughts along the lines of "Among Us really put me on the map, but I still wasn't included. What does that mean for the future when Among Us is dead? Will I fade into obscurity? Are my friends going to get so huge that I'm no longer worth being around them?" And then with the whole Janet relationship, and how it being so public from beginning to end made things so much more shitty and difficult to deal with, it really doesn't surprise me at all he prefers to keep things private now when possible.

[@cczsus6513]

Ya personally I understand toast's fear of his friends leaving him since he is no longer as important anymore it's like if your the one tough guy and your no longer tough you'll probably get ditched.

[@kylria1321]

Plus everything that happened with Fed must still be eating at him. He mentioned that he was disappointed with people in his life a year ago. It’s just been over a year since Fed was removed from OTV.

[@lalakuma9]

Of course Jeremy is an individual with unique circumstances for why he feels this way about dating. But I feel like a lot of guys I've met through online dating have the same problem of wanting to find "the one" (and thinking that they'd immediately know when they meet "the one"), but are ironically super afraid of commitment because they don't want to end up splitting up or be abandoned so they end up breaking up or ghosting you after 2 dates. I think this is really an epidemic 😐

[@l0stone408]

I don't necessarily believe Toast likes the concept of people fearing him... He just over values respect in his character to the extent that he sees any form of respect, such as Games of Thrones and the fear of power, as something desirable. What he may actually desire is for someone to fear losing or disappointing him as a friend/lover, which can be seen as a sign of respect (i.e. you do not want to disappoint your parents and thus you try harder to please them). Toast just wants to be loved and has expectations on what that love looks like.

[@elijahsalarda6176]

i want people to feel bad when they disappoint me too. i want them to feel like shit.

[@kienlou2945]

I think he means fear like to be respected in the traditional asian values point of view. His point of views are typical of taiwanese males,.. A little bit chauvanistic patriacal

[@wesleywallace4426]

@@elijahsalarda6176 It means that they value the relationship. It's not just because of convenience or because of owed favors that one day will run out and you never hear from them again. Before Toast was in control, they were lucky to have him as a friend. But in the future whether or not he's qualified to get scraps is in question. The honeymoon period where everyone wins has long since been over. The world changes, people change, priorities change. You will always have those memories and nostalgia, but realistically you can't be best friends anymore.

[@baaahbaaah5521]

I really love how Dr. K is putting the questions out and I'm learning so much.. more power to you!

[@stroomop4858]

No ways, my favourite youtuber and my biggest problem right now, literally discussed this for the first time with one of my closest friends. I still have that fear and it can ruin a visit despite a friend being close or a good friend.

[@stroomop4858]

Literally every sub-heading/timestamp in this video is way too precise

[@its1374]

In this case, you need to think is the visit worth spending time. Time is very limited, spend wisely

[@occultsymbols]

Sorry for me asking but what are you saying? I'm not a native speaker but I would like to understand what you are saying.

[@stroomop4858]

@@its1374 yeah man but i'm a people person, so its either I play with the fire or let it burn the house down, I already try to spend my alone time effective as possible and I would say i'm quite effective at that

[@stroomop4858]

@@occultsymbols Fear of being taken advantage of, fear of being too much or not enough for other people, thinking that i'm unlovable, these are all things that I relate to heavily What i'm saying is that its unbelievable that on that day I discussed all these problems with a close friend and saw this video of one of my favourite youtubers going through the same exact thing

[@Anna-ip8ub]

I feel sad for toast because he believes that ninth grade him wasn’t worth getting to know. I understand that people are saying that he’s hiding and he’s dodging but I think he’s just trying his best to answer what he can and what he currently feels comfortable with. Because this is for an audience I didn’t expect him to be completely open about his issues

[@SaltMonarch]

I also feel like he might not fully understand how to answer these questions like as u said saying that he's answering the best he can. I feel like what Dr.K was pushing on with 2 different sides to himself with Jeremy and Toast was quite spot on looking at it as someone trying to understand as best I can as someone who is by no means a professional. Toast replied to the Toast and Jeremy thing saying he feels like it's the same person at this point. To me that sounds like the two sides in his mind have just tangled and sorta became a knot from his perspective where he feels like saying he is just him is a way to hide from himself the fact that the "unlovable" Jeremy still exists and is a part of him. He maybe feels like Jeremy or that 9th grader isn't worth showing to people and that it exists within him. And so, he's constantly trying to act like it doesn't exist anymore and that Toast is Jeremy but, in reality it's that Toast is Jeremy but Jeremy is also just Jeremy (that 9th grader that he finds as unlovable.) Don't know how much that made sense or if anyone read it but, I just found this conversation super fascinating and wanted to try talking about it a little tho I am months late.

[@user-nu2vc9mp5j]

@@SaltMonarch no i think thats just dr. K 's interpretation of him. His and entertainer in and out of his personal life imo. There is no other version. People are subject to change . its not heremy put on a mask as tpast. More like jeremy changed as individual with same core value but i to toast over the years.

[@wickles4360]

This stream reminds me of things I talked to my husband about when we were first dating. Jeremy doesn't see that hes a good person that's worth taking to and being friends with. The world is better with him in it. I hope one day he sees that.

[@WanderTheNomad]

@@forcedge2302 that's just your interpretation of the comment. Why are you asking "why" as if your interpretation is guaranteed to be correct?

[@vivvpprof]

are you two still married?

[@LineLevesque]

It takes someone pretty brave to open up in public about personal stuff. This was raw and insightful, and I really appreciate the two people in this conversation. Best wishes to you both.

[@tabyelox3649]

I'm a simple man. I see capo toast, i click

[@ScorpionF1RE----USA]

Yeah, you're very simple.

[@sbsftw4232]

Being an asshole in the comments of a mental health channel? Man you're farming for likes on hard mode.

[@tabyelox3649]

@@sbsftw4232 LMAO

[@radkouse1of1]

@@sbsftw4232?

[@DarukaEon]

@@sbsftw4232 Huh?

[@kokey5735]

“Can I just think for a second?” - Dr. K Actually one of the most underrated questions in this video. I loved it. I never even heard of Toast before this… thanks for showing up and being vulnerable. Shits hard to work out even for the THE most logical people.

[@dibanpitchaimuthu9336]

Felt like he already had one foot out the door in this interview

[@jletsgoo]

5:00 aw 7:44 8:50 9:50 10:20 feeling of sacrifice, healthy? 11:30 internal compass 13:00 inside look 14:00 really cool how dr k already has bg knowledge from toasts old streams 16:40 worries 17:40 will they slow down for their friends? 18:30 what do you give up to be kind 20:40 benefit 21:20 enabling ppl 22:20 where does the feeling of being left behind come from 23:30 its ok 25:40 what emotion? remembering a hurt? 26:33 feeling disappointed 26:57 when its you 27:40 LOL 29:00 streamer 31:00 dr k take 31:50 abandonment 33:00 34:00 trust 35:00 you can always climb, not just when u have an issue to come on 37:50 shot in the dark: honour system 39:30 meta in your head, not on the game board 42:00 44:00 ppl get too familiar 45:40 taken advantage of 46:30 sad never do anything to you... 47:30 expecting it the lesson that ppl dont stick around 48:20 49:30 friendship vs business of friendship 51:30 growing up 52:20 didnt speak, then thru entertainment 53:55 was it bad? 55:00 55:20 56:00 old friends, an excuse to engage w them 57:40 nagging 58:50 59:40 being blamed for skill when its rng 1:00:30 1:01:40 internalising it? 1:03:20 respect 1:05:10 drama, for you or for ppl 1:06:10 psychoanalysing his actions 1:07:20 just enough 1:09:20 wall 1:12:40 1:15:40 not who you are, just how youve come to relate to ppl 1:17:10 who tries to make u happy 1:17:40 can only make other ppl happy 1:19:00 1:20:40 in relationships 1:21:40 aw 1:22:45 1:23:43 not sad, your experience 1:24:50 turning down ur emotions 1:25:40 to ur friends, ur just __ 1:26:30 testing ppl, are they here for the persona or the person underneath? 1:26:55 reassuring, willing to accept the non-entertainer 1:27:20 how much of the real U can they handle? 1:27:50 1:28:20 fear of not living up to that mask(?) 1:28:50 who are they respecting? persona or u? 1:29:50 a reason to respond 😂 1:31:20 far, ppl u knew before u became the entertainer 1:31:40 circling back to relationships 1:32:45 1:34:00 mega chad 1:35:30 1:36:30 who are they dating? when u become U, they'll leave the nest & never come back.. 1:39:40 tearing behind the mask, what are u? 1:40:45 how can they see that, when u dont let them? 1:41:40 was that person worth knowing? 1:43:40 true that, if u wanna find a good partner, u gotta advertise: theyre not gonna dig under that many layers to finally see u for u, so there is that superficial kind of thing, but maybe its human nature to 1:45:00 its not just your fame, its what brought u fame -> game 1:46:00 afraid of whats on the other side of the wall, that wall will stay there until someone sees ur other side, beneath the entertainer, & doesnt think less of u for it 1:47:00 1:47:14 1:49:00 continuing to elevate urself > trapping yourself going higher, not knowing how to get down, sounds exhausting 1:51:40 1:53:00 1:55:00 how do u feel abt sharing it 1:56:10 lead down the wrong path? thats when u'll be totally secure, on top where u dont worry abt being left behind, what drives u, adaptive but will lead to suffering further down the line 1:58:00 scary 1:58:50 ur drive to succeed comes from a place of inadequacy 1:59:38 gravitate towards ppl who need help, showing ur value in the relationship 2:00:00 2:00:30 u 'demonstrate' value without demonstrating, solves anxiety of not bringing value 2:02:00 more believeable when others are attracted to it 2:03:00 2:03:45 but then she'll leave when she doesnt need u anymore 2:04:40 then i can demonstrate myself.. 2:05:40 recognise that transition, when u show her who u are behind that & she doesnt need u anymore, that's gonna be terrifying for u, relying on her sticking around 2:06:40 2:08:20 breakups are hard 2:10:00 why do ppl ever engage in relationships? 2:12:00 2:12:50 2:14:30 2:16:50 too many right answers for talking abt everything else 2:17:20 2:20:40 intrinsic value not broken, thats how its helped succeed 1:23:20 1:24:40 1:27:00 2:30:00 2:31:00 1 foot out the door vs only putting 1 foot in 2:32:20 would u let urself fall in love? despite the odds 2:33:50 where does it come from? the fear of hurting them 2:36:00 2:37:15 cant count on it care abt other ppl, not abt urself what abt them hurting u? 2:39:10 wow... 2:40:20 2:41:40 being relevant 2:41:18 **'I think what you've accomplished in this life, is enough. i think you've had a very powerful impact on a lot of individuals."* 2:43:10 2:46:50 2:48:10 2:53:50

[@lagiacrosm87]

.

[@heaiyuo]

.

[@trulyinfamous16]

I called it on Scarras interview that Toast would be here as the final boss And 3 hours at that. You can’t tell me Dr. K wasn’t WAITING for this one lol

[@kseniamatthews5491]

Congratulations! Buy yourself a cookie!

[@justjuniorjaw]

You know for a fact 2nd Form Toast will be coming. This is not the end yet.

[@jerrisatyourwindow]

@@kseniamatthews5491 sorry, we’re way past the leafy is here style of humor, please move on

[@xCCflierx]

@@jerrisatyourwindow damn.. he better apologize for having a nonconforming sense of humor

[@ayeayeron3670]

@@xCCflierx Being a dick for no reason isn't a "nonconforming" sense of humor

[@Rocketdave47]

Toast is very secure and guided in the way he talks. Would benefit from another talk. The shell almost cracked

[@testing123.]

Him and Scarra for sure

[@zaksmith1035]

He wouldn't benefit at all in his current state. He even said at the end that he didn't want to change right now. I think he got as much as he could out of it, for now. I hope later on he finds a way to open up.

[@VioletEmerald]

​@@zaksmith1035yeah but another talk now a few years later maybe would be great lol...

[@lilianamochi8504]

"hello chat, left in a room...with Disguised Toast...huh, no doctor to help you" KEKW

[@pptheastrologer6870]

What does kekw mean

[@sergiopepe2210]

@@pptheastrologer6870 Twitch emote, you probably heard the spanish meme guy who recently died, el risitas, that guy!

[@sergiopepe2210]

@@ezaf5989 Read your name and you'll find the real meaning of cringe, boy

[@WanderTheNomad]

@@ezaf5989 why do you spend your time trolling on this channel?

[@mutantbananas1]

Holy cow, 3 hours! This is gonna be a good one

[@NotLuigi]

I think the 3 hour run time is mostly a result of Toast's rate of speech

[@maricuacas]

@@NotLuigi well it's because for most of the interview Dr.K didn't really listened to what Toast was saying and tried to guide him to something that was incorrect for the situation, watched it live

[@justjuniorjaw]

@@maricuacas In my eyes and what I hear, it's mostly Toast not sharing "the deep stuff" thinking and always going around topics. If you hang around his just chatting, he loves his history (even during this session) but he never talks about the current situation, what Dr K is looking for.

[@LearningDrummerSam]

@@maricuacas Thats a stretch, Toast wasnt really saying anything of subsatnce. Leading with hypotheses is a way to get Toast to actually guide the convo himself by confriming or saying theyre wrong. I also watched it live, and it was fairly painful in parts because you can tell Toast is really trying his best not to open up to much. Which is understandable

[@UngKnejt]

@@maricuacas I think its basically just as you said it! Just turned on its head

[@krystlewong9768]

I'm so happy that toast is doing this, I think this will be good for him

[@WanderTheNomad]

The final boss of OTV

[@eatabagel]

This whole "fixing people" thing is a really problematic dynamic, especially in a romantic relationship. And I guess fits into Toast's ideas about having power and authority. If you have to fix your partner, then in your own eyes you are already unequal with your partner, which is no way to begin a relationship. It's also condescending to your partner, to think of him or her as your project to fix. It's not your duty to fix the person you love, and likewise it's a lot to put on somebody the expectation that they will fix your problems too. This whole "protecc protecc protecc" thing is pretty creepy.

[@qasidfarooqi9821]

I'm not sure 'creepy' is the right term, I think slowly needs to overcome is better. He like a lot of many people doesn't believe they bring value to a relationship, which they totally do.

[@LordVader1094]

Creepy definitely is the wrong term for it

[@davidbodor1762]

A lot of people have this mentality, men and women alike, it's common, it's an issue one can work on like any other, it's not creepy it's just human nature.

[@sparknazo]

I was about to like the comment until the word creepy creepy is keeping people in your basement to protect them or calling every minute to see where they are or tracking them Toast is kinda misdirected in believing people "need" him rather than "want" him which is why he's stresses himself out so much seeing OTV as people unable to take care of themselves

[@Sagacypher]

It is bad, but it’s not “creepy”. It stems from insecurity and is very common among individuals. It’s human nature lol

[@arr165]

Didn't expect to relate this hard to him. Very insightful

[@howaboutafish3960]

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

[@flashlife8256]

dr. k is a genius when is comes to therapy. He can find the tiniest nugget of blockage and expose it to the light

[@snowy6156]

I relate to Toast so much. It's why I can never really process any emotions or any traumatic event that has happened to me. I hate crying so much

[@chelseatan7139]

This resonates with me so much because I've been used sooo many times that I have extreme trust issues and I do so many things to protect myself from getting hurt again like bottling up my emotions and stuff.

[@tabby842]

This talk kind of reminded me of the stock guy when he was on. There's no incentive to change when you have the perfect coping mechanisms in place to deal with your insecurities. Makes me wonder how many people are actually like this, I have a feeling that these people are in the majority. And so then I wonder if it's possible to have a good world when you have most of your people unable to confront their fears and instead rely on external things to survive to the next moment. Because in my experience, people's inexperience with understanding their fear will somewhere along the road manifest as a negative behavior, which won't only negatively impact them but also the people around them. How do we change this?

[@tonjolley6422]

Confronting your fear takes the will to be not only courageous but willing to change and grow (which in itself is also kinda scary because it's unknown to a degree). I could just be projecting atm. But if it has any value, people have to know alternatives or being willing to find them on their own to move away from their comfortable (but detrimental) coping habits.

[@UnknownCartoonEditor]

Don’t know who the Stock guy is, but your answer lies in David Goggins mentality. If you want to change something, the one thing in the world you need to change is YOURSELF.

[@justintimeleave1360]

Most people die before resolving them

[@zacharyarmstrong7527]

I couldn't find the words to how this session made me feel until reading your comment, thank you.

[@alfierowan7204]

"Gotta have the right lure on the hook" is the most underrated line I have ever heard, absolute top drawer from Dr K

[@rinzzler366]

As a wise old man once said, "Its time to start asking yourself the big questions. Who are you, and what do you want."

[@CapeEniEer]

Toast inviting Dr.K to do another stream was like watching a tsundere girl ask her crush to go on a date with her sometime haha

[@user-uq4gr5nl5o]

Toast seems like a really smart guy, but at the same time he seems like he doesn't like to think about things that go beyond what is immediate to his job. Things like the inner workings of his thinking, his preferences and other people. It's like he's scared of going even a little below the surface.

[@anhuro8558]

"I'm here to finish your infinity gauntlet" lmao I love this

[@Marronii]

I never thought, he would actually join you on stream.