Dr Shefali on the Pitfalls of Parenting and How to Avoid Them at Impact Theory

PULLED QUOTES “The beauty of life is that there is no line in stone, most of it is in sand.” [9:38] “Life is this eternal dance between the knowing and the not knowing. Between the possessing and the complete non-possession. Between the doing and the non-doing.” [9:45] “Pain is the greatest teacher.” [20:30] “It’s narcissistic to think that we can raise another being when we haven’t raised ourselves.” [41:54] “When you pursue anything that means you don’t have it already. So when you don’t have something already, you’re in lack. You cannot pursue abundance from lack. [47:17] SHOW NOTES Tom and Dr. Shefali dive into the meaning of conscious parenting. [2:31] Dr. Shefali explains how conditioning obscures child development. [5:14] Dr. Shefali talks about understanding boundaries and the psychology behind parenting. [9:17] Dr. Shefali describes how parents perpetuate children creating a false sense of self. [15:20] Dr. Shefali talks about recovering our truest self and allowing our children to suffer. [17:00] Dr. Shefali expands on living in the present moment and being deeply connected with your child. [21:31] Tom and Dr. Shefali discuss learning to be present and how to accept and work with what you have. [24:17] Dr. Shefali shares how she uncovers authenticity through insight meditation. [31:12] Dr. Shefali breaks down the power of embracing the impermanent now. [34:39] Tom and Dr. Shefali expose parenting myths and the difference between attachment and high love. [35:41] Dr. Shefali walks through the importance of being conscious of our limitations. [39:12] Dr. Shefali addresses the transcendence of life and how to engage and align with the moment. [43:43] Dr. Shefali reveals why happiness is a misnomer and pursuing happiness is a trap. [47:17] Dr. Shefali defines the impact that she wants to have on the world. [49:32] MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE BOOKS The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting - amzn.to/2xseLBA [1:54] The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment - amzn.to/2vmGnKW [44:08] PEOPLE Eckhart Tolle - bit.ly/2wiWOFs [44:00]
ORIGINAL SOURCE: • How to Become a Better...

[@stoutie18]

Dr. Shefali's teachings have changed the entire dynamics in our home. We used to be so stressed out and no one was listening and it seemed like everyone was arguing with each other. Since implementing all of her teachings into our home, we have harmony , connection, tons of cooperation and so much more fun together! Im forever thankful for her teachings!!

[@ericadinerotv]

Mine too! People think I'm crazy!! I just respond, we're breaking cycles!!

[@stoutie18]

my kids and our connection is a walking testimony!! i was so stressed out before! no more!!!

[@TheIdontjudge]

What are some specific executables?

[@joannegero]

I'm a parent of 2 and after reading her books my entire life shifted to more consciousness and i realized my children are here to be my teacher...they are perfect, whole, complete! I bow to their authentic wholeness as i deconstruct my entire false self-the raging ego.. and now watch and learn on a day to day bases from these amazing beings, becoming!

[@danastoian6350]

Yes! True! Clapping! Beautifully said: "Life is a dance between knowing and not knowing." I confess that I have trouble in being cool with children because I am too aware and I am frozen, I watch myself every instant and wonder if it's the right thing to do. Exactly as you say: knowing and not knowing. Sometimes I see children want me to guide them, so then I take the lead. I try to listen to them and realize their needs but sometimes they don't know either what they need and they want to see in me a protective figure, so..indeed...it's how you say...knowing the line between what's up to you and not.

[@bexflatley209]

Dr shelafi has completely revolutionised my practice as a nanny! So many of her insights make so much sense, time to guide and wake up some families!

[@jeepercats3197]

This is not at all pointed at you, but in order to put these into practice, the parents have to actually be there instead of outsourcing their moral obligation as a parent to a nanny. If you're not going to raise your kids then don't have any.

[@johnnyarellano7653]

I love her. Her wisdom is Revolutionary as oprah says. Her wisdom reminds me of Eckhart Tolle teaches. Every time she talks she talks with so much ease yet sooo profound

[@valeriehopebennett]

INCREDIBLES THANKS FOR SHARING GREAT KNOWLEDGE.

[@benitadsilva7069]

Extraordinarily honest!!!

[@adampatterson143]

Love Impact Theory.... Dr. Shefali gives me LIFE!!!

[@oliviakaykkha4053]

Dr.Shefali, I'm pretty sure, I'm one your biggest Burmese Fan! 💖The topics you discuss in your 'conscious parenting' talks, are exactly what parents in Myanmar neeeeeed.... to hear! Please visit Myanmar & help enlighten our lovely parents over here very soon... I really admire your bravery & I love the amazing approach you take, in your talks. Always honest, yet relatable (parents should just put their egos aside for abit at least & listen till the end of your beautiful talks), the knowledge you share would actually help their life BIG TIME. Don't forget to msg me, when you do visit us... one of these days, I'd love to meet you & thank you in person, for helping me get through some of the hardest times in my life. 🙏🏼

[@saemafahmi5283]

Dr. Shefali , your teachings are revelation for me. God bless you

[@quankane3897]

This was truly beyond amazing, refreshing and self enlightening Tom! Thank u so much for this gift that will keep on giving 💜

[@SPLIFBEATZ]

Amazing Dr. Shefali for your work

[@shubhadakumbhar9274]

Mindblowing thoughts Dr. Shefali....love u for sharing the gems of wisdom

[@ernamoran5104]

.

[@marinachung8100]

you are a great interviewer.

[@haileygraham538]

Love the sound of music metaphor!!

[@destiny9734]

Amazing!

[@Jasmillmelisa]

This is so real, we are so toxic and ruinging this world, and living miserably and sad unwoken lifes because of generational and cultural pressures raining down on us. All these institutions, and indentities we have to live up too. Its too much. We dont learn how to truly live and be happy and aware. In school we should learn about meditation and being who it is we are. But theres no money or moneterial benefits to ppl learning this. I have always felt confused and lost, not wanting to settle and live like other ppl live but that is how i am living. Worrying about my mom, and my career and what will make me rich...... Theres more to that.

[@danastoian6350]

I absolutely agree about pursuing happiness, it is a trap and sometimes even self development is a trap for me, as there is a certain idealism hidden in it which deprives me of fully engaging with the present. You mentioned unconditional love with children, I think that's possible. However I don't think unconditional love is possible between a man and a woman, and when that appears, the attraction goes out of the window. You can love that man the same way you love the population of this globe, no difference. So somehow, having a little bit of conditional love in partnership spices up things. I come from a very spiritual perspective and declared war a bit to it because I felt very disfunctional to function like that in this world. In the end, I learnt the world is disfunctional. I also told myself that my fear of having an ego and of the shit which is here, I should not project it on my child and maybe the child comes in this world because it wants to be fucked up. Not like me, who is avoiding the life here. But now I understand that I don't need to declare war to my spirituality but to try to integrate it with the new ego that I created. So that I won't fall in the other extreme. I will give you an example of how even angels can turn to demons and how tricky this ego is. I noticed expectations in me but not the traditional ones. Because I am angry on unconcious parents and on my own, I promised myself that I will be a good parent. But because of this, I am expecting the child to reflect me that I am a good parent. If I manage to make him go to bed with a smile on his face, it gives me that confirmation and that's shitty. You see how tricky this is? Even the desire to be a good parent. You are adding a little bit of idealism in the minds of traditional parents. In my case, I have to renounce to idealism in order to be fully in the present. And you know? If life is meant to be lived, I wonder how aware do I need to be and until which point so that my awareness would make life easier and not enslave me into passive observation and lack of engagement. How can one still continue to grow while feeling self enough? I self love more important than self development? Thank you. Hope my message reaches you. Love

[@gianinalaesu6818]

I have to just change myselft in accordance with she says

[@shaynalee]

Brilliant!!!

[@RosalindJulen]

She is FIRE.HER WORDS ARE FROM GOD.

[@stagesbookingandpromotions3548]

I have a sinking feeling.

[@AlexisCarterNotaryMentor]

32:12 the truth

[@0x6C7569736D61]

It took me a bit to stop focusing on the fact that the host has his t-shirt inside out.

[@samanthisena1]

Vipassana, cause and effect, having the equanimity to engage with whatever you have in the present, sounds like Buddhism :-)

[@justinjsunseri3195]

Fantastic, thank you!

[@AlexisCarterNotaryMentor]

29:55 😷🤔😣😔🤦🏿‍♀️

[@lidiamalkic]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💖