Dr. Shefali Tsabary on Conscious Relationships

[@KT_571]

OMG, Dr. Tsabary is phenomenal! I can't express enough how brilliant she is. She has pretty much helped me to be awakened and evolve into who I was truly meant to be. I will continue to play her videos over and over, and etch her messages into my head and heart. Wow, I'm so blessed to have come across her videos! Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏

[@leahkmarshall]

So glad KT! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻 If you'd like more, here's a curated playlist of Dr. Shefali KZbin videos: kzbin.info/aero/PLiKIujS__qEMSRYxC3vQHiUd2GM55cU8X

[@motozzzlife1392]

I 2nd that KT. And thanks Leah for sharing your videos and the Playlist.

[@desireesedibe3733]

I just Broke up and my partner does not understand why and I could not put it into words. Now I will share your video cause it's on point. Thanks for making me concious about myself more! Love your wisdom!

[@mohanamd2275]

Two people need to be able to understand this! If it's one more fulfilled on their own and the other isn't, again it doesn't work. When choosing partners now this understanding becomes important

[@sareablihoghe2395]

Free to be doctor shefali

[@DivineFlow555]

Dr. Shefali is a breath of fresh air!!!! LOVE her, and her message. Thank you for sharing this interview.

[@ramanaraoa5409]

Not only you !

[@kaysong4015]

Great questions! And of course, the formidable Dr. Shefali is amazing! Thank you for the interview!

[@leahkmarshall]

Thanks, Kay! Shefali is both formidable and amazing. You might also enjoy this conversation with Mark Groves where I share some favorite Shefali quotes: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3rWaa1oeMxjoLc and this one with Connor Beaton on healing our shadow: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oqCnqIdop66Ag5o

[@rachelhope3161]

It’s so true....my mother is a narcissist and that’s why I attracted a covert narcissist who almost destroyed me and my children. I am conscious now🙏

[@deborahmartin5410]

Marriage is based on possession, control and ownership historically....we should be more focused on real spiritual partnership and connection. ...it may not be forever. We sometimes sacrifice the real self in marriage and pretend and stay in relationships that have died. We have to be true to ourselves.... It’s so many great points....

[@leahkmarshall]

Yes 🙏🏻 If you'd like more, here's a curated playlist of Shefali videos: kzbin.info/aero/PLiKIujS__qEMSRYxC3vQHiUd2GM55cU8X I also often post her quotes to my Instagram: @msleahmarshall instagram.com/msleahmarshall/

[@deborahmartin5410]

Thank you...♥️💃✨

[@jasonrix3691]

The last 50years have been about freeing women....that oppressed, possession narrative BUT women have not also included freeing men from the old marriage paradigm also....Men don't have freedom from the old responsibilities and obligation paradigm. Brene Brwon covers this ever do briefly in her book Daring Greatly about page 95 if i remember. I like what DR Shefali..is talking about.....she's talking about a deeper connection/love but it's a tough go and sell if you are in a relationship that includes kids......because a womens base needs for resources and safety to raise kids has to be met first.....and often the best male providers are the least emotionally available. Great info and on the same lines as Dr Shafali is Dr Sue Johnson and Harville Hendrix....both talk about how we attract the ones that trigger us the most...which means they show up to help us grow!!! I think the creator has a bit of a twisted sense of humour. ;) Another place to learn about a man's experience....The Manipulated Man and the Myth of Male Power..........Seek first to understand, then be understood......or When you know your enemy well enough to destroy them, you will love them!

[@Dee-sr4lt]

Yes, the point she made about religion being involved in a relationship, is one of the reasons that people stay stuck in a relationship even when they know it's over . The judgement and the guilt keeps us stuck

[@seyedbanitaba5306]

Hi . . . Interconnectedness & Vibrations of NADA. == it's when the Human Being puts the other in relation to all

[@fu-linghitt57]

Thank you for the very liberating interview. Please provide the coupon code for the course. Thank you.

[@deborahmartin5410]

This was life changing ❤️

[@leahkmarshall]

So good to hear, Deborah! Can you share what specifically? ❤️

[@samsonsansan4193]

OMG this is sooooo good...been thinking that for years, against everybody else`s opinion!

[@leahkmarshall]

Yes! “Things we mistake for love: That we need to "find it", "fall in it", and "look for it in one special soulmate." Love is a state of being. Either you are it, or you're not it. Love is so often measured in transactions (if you do this, then I feel that.) Let's not mistake transactionality for love. So many of us depend on our partners for validation and approval. This is dependency, not love. Then when we fall in love, we want them to complete us, to fulfill our every desire. Let us not mistake possession for love. We expect them to stay the same, and when they change or transform, our love ends. This is attachment. What is true love? When you don't own, possess. or seek to control the other in any way. True love doesn't need any condition to exist. If you are not feeling free in your relationship, it is not love." ~Dr. Shefali Tsabary

[@philmorgan1053]

Thank you to both of you women for sharing this talk. 🙏💕🇦🇺

[@leahkmarshall]

Thank you, Phil! Curious what drew you to this topic?

[@philmorgan1053]

Currently going through a separation and we have a 3 year old daughter. I promised my childhood self to not put my children through the same sh*t. I also just had a breakthrough realisation about terribly things my mother did and allowed to happen to me as a 12 year old that I have blocked out and explains so much of why security and certainty are my biggest of the 6 human needs as much I want them to be love and growth and am trying real hard. Also I was hooked when you mentioned Impact theory and Lewis howes. Love those shows and I am building my own podcast tv studio on the Gold Coast Australia at present. We are 70% complete. In closing, Tom’s wife’s show, I think women of impact is the name, is so great to hear new thinking mindset women talking in truth. As you know with men a lot of the time women don’t say what they mean, want it to be detectives which is the exact opposite of what most men want these days 🙏

[@leahkmarshall]

Beautiful@@philmorgan1053. You mind find a lot of value in: facebook.com/groups/793115204193690/

[@justafriend3408]

This is one of the best talks I've ever heard! I'm only wondering why only 9K views in the five months so far?! I expected it to have had hundreds of thousands of views by now

[@leahkmarshall]

Thank you! As Dr. Shefali says, "1 is a million." Meaning, it just takes impacting 1 person to be worth it. Please feel free to share with family and friends!

[@justafriend3408]

@@leahkmarshall Definitely!

[@kelleystrobel35]

Al Ha -I feel like most people are not ready for this information, not awake enough💜

[@carolanchristina]

This is great!

[@leahkmarshall]

Wonderful, Christina! What resonated most? ❤️

[@marcelapenuela3638]

Hello! Do you have this video whith subtitles in spanish? Thank you

[@veenasharma1440]

How do we know what our authentic self is .Dr.Shefali?

[@leahkmarshall]

Hi Venna- highly recommend Dr. Shefali's course The Awakened Heart at: drshefali.teachable.com/ If the cost makes it prohibitive, this one is excellent too and applies to both parents and non-parents alike: www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/courses/courseoverview.cgi?cid=845&aff=0

[@forreal245]

Your authentic self is to breathe as His child & to thank/worship God that you have & are blessed to have the next breath.

[@veenasharma1440]

Thanks.for the reply . You whoever you are made me realise what I have been blessed with.

[@saycog1084]

As a nanny I notice I attract sisters at the same age my sister and I had a bad start to our relationship due to me not accepting a new baby in the family. It's like watching us on live tv.

[@Thisisrenae]

Can it be familial relationships? I haven’t had any significant romantic relationships that made me feel this way. It’s mostly from my family, (mom and dad)

[@leahkmarshall]

Absolutely! "No history has more of a lasting impact on our adult loves than the one we write with our primary caregivers.” ~Esther Perel Are you familiar with the concept of attachment theory? It’s essentially the study of how we behave in relationships and it’s largely based on our childhood connection to our caregivers. There are 4 types- secure, anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant. Dismissive avoidants respond to connection by needing space, pulling away, and keeping their partner at an arm’s length. Anxious people want even more closeness and affirmation about the security of the relationship when they feel connection. Fearful avoidants tend to be very hot or very cold. What’s interesting is that often anxious + avoidant styles attract each other yet bring out each others’ worst beliefs about relationships (either that people are too needy or that people pull away from them as soon as they get close.) The magic is in the healing that comes from getting awareness about your style. Since styles can be malleable, you can absolutely become more secure with self-awareness and understand the signs of secure, avoidant, and anxious people so that you can choose better partners and have more meaningful relationships. The foremost expert on them is Thais Gibson, if you’re curious to learn more! kzbin.info/www/bejne/onS5fpZofNNplck

[@Thisisrenae]

Leah Marshall wow. That makes since. I didn’t know about that. I’ve been to therapy but I need a new one because we haven’t discussed any of these terms and it’s meanings. I’m the type of person that learns with lots of information and explanation.

[@Thisisrenae]

Leah Marshall I was never taught or shown that their are others in the world that genuinely care and want to help a person to grow. I’m learning more to accept people’s help. It takes away the heavy burdens in life that you carry if you rely on others

[@gabba7315]

Hi Leah, thank you for a great interview! Would you please share the code with me?

[@leahkmarshall]

Hi Veronica, So glad you found value in it! Please email Kris at [e-mail], share that you watched Dr. Shefali and Leah's interview on Conscious Relationships, and that you would like to sign up for Free to Be using the $95 off discount code. She'll be able to assist. The course is outstanding! Best, ~Leah

[@gabba7315]

@@leahkmarshall Excellent, thank you Leah! :)

[@universelove6163]

Hi Dr. Shefali So what do I do ? What are some things I can implement into our relationship that can help counsel us into a greater consciousness? Because I don’t want to leave . I do feel betrayed from some things . But I see that I should not feel this way .. I see so much potential in my current relationship and instead of lashing out as you stated I would like to help myself help us in hopes of him creating some sort of spark within himself ..

[@leahkmarshall]

"Want to change the other? Change the self." Highly recommend starting with a Dr. Shefali course. This is a good entry one that addresses boundaries. It's donation-based so you pay whatever you can. And while the title is Conscious Parenting, it's really about re-parenting the self. www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/courses/courseoverview.cgi?cid=845&aff=92&desc=1&fbclid=IwAR1n6st03NFTBjwzzDIXu4a_26xdk__g2P_wbKOtnGQH2eNEZEqbETwP_Pw

[@joelbrown2422]

Hey, I don't understand the co-creation part. You said that he ghosted you and the reason was because of an event that happened in his childhood and you co-created that event which led him to react in that way. So how exactly did realizing your part in co-creation make you feel empowered? Was it taking ownership of your actions that led towards the event? Like being controlling or demeaning the person or was it you understanding that you are the way you are and you cannot change that factor.

[@leahkmarshall]

Such a great question, Joel. Even when someone “misbehaves” i.e. ghosting, there are often subtle ways in which we co-created the dynamic that allowed the misbehavior to happen, for example not sharing our boundaries, sharing our boundaries but not following through with consequences when they’re violated, not expressing our needs because we sense they won’t be received well, people-pleasing vs. speaking our truth, etc. We can also choose to see what we want to see versus what really is. I break down the concept of “co-creation” more in this conversation from 31:40-33:45: anchor.fm/the-way-we-connect/episodes/Have-you-ever-been-ghosted----with-Leah-Marshall-ea310c Hope that helps, ~Leah

[@joelbrown2422]

@@leahkmarshall Hey Leah, so I ended up listening to the whole talk😂 it was very insightful and I've definitely learned a lot. I understand how I played co-creaton of the dynamic between you 2 worked and led to that point. It has really made me to rethink all my past relationships. Thanks for sharing!😁

[@leahkmarshall]

@@joelbrown2422 Beautiful awareness! You might also find value/insights in this conversation with Mark Groves on boundaries and love lessons : kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3rWaa1oeMxjoLc

[@lucillebrowne4247]

How can I get the discount code for Dr. Shefali’s course that she mentioned she was offering to your listeners?

[@leahkmarshall]

The code HOLIDAYS25 will get you 25% off Free To Be for the next 2 weeks!

[@shivanisharmathelifecoach9556]

💖💖💖

[@fatboyannie]

Hi Leah, This is a wonderful interview. Is the coupon still valid? I just viewed the video today. Annie

[@leahkmarshall]

Hi Annie, So glad you found value in it! Please email Kris at [e-mail], share that you watched Dr. Shefali and Leah's interview on Conscious Relationships, and that you would like to sign up for Free to Be.

[@leahkmarshall]

Hi Annie, The coupon HOLIDAYS25 will get you 25% off Free To Be for the next 2 weeks!

[@nehachauhan4312]

My wake up call was my breakup 😌

[@lewisalmeida3495]

Dr. Shefali has given us much advice of becoming conscious; however, Spinoza a 17th philosopher came to the reality that man/woman live by the law of necessity and that freewill is an illusion. We cannot will ourselves to change. We must learn how to see the truth of our confused nature. How? WayofSpinoza.com

[@bobbileehall3567]

I’ve always been conscious. I was raised by a father who pounded into my head to never depend on a man for ANYTHING! He taught me to love myself, take care of myself and that a man’s dick has no conscience he use to scream this to me! Every married woman I know is unhappy; go figure.....

[@detBits]

Towards the end of the talk regarding exploring connections, that sounds like polyamory to me. I think my ex was like this, wanting to date and be loving but be able to explore, I struggle with the concept as I wonder if this makes people more likely to seek out romantic connection. I told my ex that I cared about her like no other and didn't even pay other women any mind now that we we had been seeing each other a while. These two modes of thought seem opposing. Thoughts?

[@leahkmarshall]

You mind find value in posting your question here: facebook.com/groups/793115204193690/

[@detBits]

@@leahkmarshall was curious on your thoughts.

[@leahkmarshall]

"Open relationships make a lot of sense but they’re not for everybody. They demand a massive amount of egalitarianism. They require 2 people who are sovereign who can choose for themselves and not one person imposing it on the other. Cheating happens in open relationships. People will always cross boundaries. Transgression is a part of relationships period. Consensual non-monogamy is not a protection device against transgression. It’s a philosophy, a way of thinking about sexuality and freedom and the centrality of the individual within a relationship. We need multiple models- there is no right one. The whole meaning of monogamy itself has gone through massive transformations. It used to be one person for life- now it’s one person at a time. People will always need to negotiate the boundaries. Do you share your pasts with each other? Your fantasies? We’re not monogamous in our fantasies or in our minds. And the antechamber of the erotic mind is way more intimate than our orifices- you can enter those without anything stirring on an emotional level.” Esther Perel with Dax Shepard armchairexpertpod.com/pods/esther-perel

[@iamenough6958]

P atterns 👀👀