The Russian 2nd Pacific Squadron - Voyage of the Damned

[@Drachinifel]

Pinned post for Q&A :)

[@biscuit4705]

what is the process of preserving a ship?

[@timothypearson567]

possible alternate battle of sushima?

[@johngoody7220]

What could make an aircraft carrier obsolete

[@ViktorBezK]

What is a transom stern? You mentioned in the HMS Lion(1938) guide that ships fitted with it would gain speed for a given amount of power, if so why weren't most large ships fitted with this feature? Can you please elaborate, this has intrigued me since that episode :/

[@SonOfAB_tch2ndClass]

Can you calculate longest range the 16 Inch 50 Caliber Mark 7 Guns would be able to penetrate the upper side armor belt of Yamato and Musashi? I’ve heard calculations between 19.5-20km do these seem plausible

[@Kletterhase]

Who doesn't know it? You want to make yourself a sandwich, you open the fridge and BAM theres like 10 - 15 japanese torpedo boats stuck in the butter. So you shoot several hundred rounds into the fridge just to see that it's actually an old banana

[@informitas0117]

Going to bed and reading a good book you turn over the page and 5 JAPANESE TORPEDO BOATS charging out between the lines.

[@ludgerhoutman4464]

Crewed by Vickers salesmen asking if you want 14.5 inch guns with your sandwich!

[@AudieHolland]

None of your shots actually hitting the fridge.

[@simoneriksson8329]

Yeah I know... happens to me every morning...

[@evanhunt1863]

@@ludgerhoutman4464 OH GOD THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!

[@TheNinjaDC]

Odd, I distinctly remember Drachinifel only covered ships and navy battles. I don't know why he's covering a train wreck.

[@Shenaldrac]

What is a train if not a boat with wheels?

[@kamchatka_survivor1959]

TheNinjaDC , It has the same effect that, we slow down to look at a car crashes. PS I hate autocorrect. 🤗

[@misterpants666]

Satire is not dead. :o)

[@outdatedtank4542]

@@Shenaldrac oof

[@dasUberputer]

Best comment ever!

[@mitchelloates9406]

"The Kamchatka announced it was sinking, which lead to great rejoicing amongst the fleet". I was laughing so hard it brought tears to my eyes.

[@connormclernon26]

“And there was much rejoicing...yay.”

[@stevezielonko1386]

They were forced to eat Robins minstrels and their was much rejoicing. Monty python and the Holy grail. Still funny although slightly modified

[@harrisengr]

I laughed so much my eyes watered. Sorry for the men but I still laughed really hard. Was this the comedy channel?

[@hawkeye5955]

@@harrisengr : History Channel meets Comedy Central.

[@Feiora]

And then it was learned that it was just a leaky pipe. Much Disappointment could be heard, felt and seen...

[@keaganscott9808]

I think everyone has it wrong. The Kamchatka was an excellent and extremely useful ship that did invaluable service for the Japanese empire.

[@Armored_Muskrat]

Due to lack of binoculars, nobody noticed the suspiciously Japanese-looking crew.

[@Packless1]

...their crew should recieve a japanese medal...! 😁

[@marcosdillon]

My head cannon is that the Kamchatka was full of revolutionaries, and that they were fucking up intentionally to accelerate the fall of the Russian Empire. Nothing could possibly change my mind.

[@bkjeong4302]

@@marcosdillon There were revolutionaries scattered across pretty much the entire squadron, though.

[@TheAKgunner]

@@bkjeong4302 He’s saying that the Kamchatka’s crew, officers included, were all revolutionaries. At least I think he is.

- Be on fishing boat in North Sea. - Fishing - Suddenly you hear a faint sound - You look to the horizon - Lots of battleships - They are getting closer - Sound grows louder - Recognize sound - It's Yakety Sax blasting at full volume - Ships starts firing - "Oh no, it's the Russian 2nd Pacific Squadron" - Tell my boatsmen not to worry - It will be over soon - 2 hours later - No physical harm to us despite multiple shots at us - "The hell was that about?" - "Huh? What?" - Has gone deaf from Yakety Sax - We later fish up a pair of crushed binoculars. Must be related

[@luket1085]

Dogger bank incident

[@DarialKuznetsova]

THIS ONE KILLED ME! I CAN'T! XD *keels over laughing*

[@Nick-rs5if]

Underrated comment.

[@RichWoods23]

"No physical harm to us" -- The Russians did manage to sink one trawler and kill two fishermen, but they promptly scored an own goal by killing a priest and a Russian sailor, turning an away win into a draw.

[@Knightwolf1994]

If anyone who makes those "song plays but y happens" videos is seeing this, please make this a real thing.

[@Philip271828]

33:10 "The flagship was now also overrun by chameleons which proved understandably hard to find..." *sound of uncontrolled giggling*

[@dougauzene8389]

LOL..."Karma Chameleons," lndeed! ;-)

[@stanislavkostarnov2157]

sadly, not really overrun... not truly overrun sadly, if the Chameleons actually had any wish to run those ships they might have done a better job! they did not, and paid for it with their lives....

[@snakes3425]

Admiral Rozhestvensky in the mean time had to be physically restrained to prevent him from manning a gun and shooting up the fleet

[@chrislovell5383]

I love his KZbin videos as I'm a huge Military History Buff but this was a new level of entertainment. Brilliant, funny, factual.

[@santiago5388]

The one dislike is from the Kamchatka

[@benjaminstout941]

They couldn't hit the like button correctly.

[@weldonwin]

@@benjaminstout941 No, they saw the like button, freaked out, screaming that it was a Japanese torpedo boat squadron, then proceeded to open fire, hitting the dislike button, before crashing into the Aurora

[@santiago5388]

@@weldonwin You sir deserves a medal for that comment.

[@Byronic13]

And then they sunk. No, wait... Just a leaky faucet.

[@AudieHolland]

In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat the Kamchatka … And there was much rejoicing …

[@martiansoldier]

I love how the most competent sounding ship, the 'Aurora' is also the ship that every one keeps accidently hitting.

[@cj-gw5fd]

Well of course, can't have them making everyone else look worse in comparison.

[@ZGryphon]

It gets even better when you keep in mind that she's the only ship from the Second Pacific Squadron still in existence today.

[@anthonybanchero3072]

@@ZGryphon I’m surprised the crew didn’t start a Revolution quicker.

[@Cba409]

Im sure the only reason you think Aurora sounds more "competent" is because its the only name you can pronounce.

[@doodmcswood507]

Or because it was one of the more competently run vessels in this naval shitshow.

[@bificommander]

I propose a diving expedition to the Russian flagship. The objective is to recover the admiral's case of glasses, and see how many of the 50 were left at the time of sinking.

[@warrenlehmkuhleii8472]

bificommander We will not find it, he threw the box, after he ran out.

[@sawyerawr5783]

@@warrenlehmkuhleii8472 and wouldn't you know it, there was a bunch of gear on the bridge missing too. we think he unbolted this stuff and threw it when he ran out of bincoulars

[@speed150mph]

On-board the flagship at the battle of Tsushima.... Bridge officer “sir, our lookouts report they can’t make out the targets” Admiral “how can they not see the ships, the others have no trouble spotting them!” Bridge officer “yes sir, but they have the benefit of binoculars to scan the horizon with” Admiral “where are our binoculars!!” Bridge officer “leaving a breadcrumb trail all the way back to Russia on the sea floor!”

[@sirboomsalot4902]

Have they actually found any of the ships sunk at at Tsushima

[@speed150mph]

Daylen Hilty your talking about the Japanese province?

[@connormclernon26]

I feel so sorry for Admiral Rozhestvensky. It shouldn't be called herding cats, it should be called holding the 2nd Pacific Squadron together. Especially considering how it all ended and him defending all his Captains even though they surely pissed him off to no end.

[@michalsoukup1021]

He should have blamed Kamchatka, after reviewing the ship logs any board of inquiry would have to side with him.

[@halojump123]

BOO!!!!

[@RichWoods23]

The Moscow State Circus does actually have a cat trainer. His dozen or so cats do all sorts of little stunts and tricks, but require constant bribery with food. The performance the cats put on was to my mind a little bit hit and miss -- so on average more successful than the 2nd Pacific Fleet!

[@Cooli167]

@@RichWoods23 So you're saying actually herding cats is easier than coordinating that damned fleet?

[@larsrons7937]

@@RichWoods23 Constant bribery is needed to get things done? Yes I believe that. And as long as the tsar gets his share - otherwise those cats should stay away from windows and tea.

[@thecrazyloner]

Zinovy Rozhestvensky: things can't possibly get any worse. Narrator:"and then things got worse"

[@vandeheyeric]

Narrator: “And then the Kamchatka sent a message.”

[@seanbigay1042]

"Things can't possibly get any worse." *SKREEEOOONNNKKK!!!* "OH, COME ON!"

[@emberfist8347]

That is basically the history of Russia summed up in two sentences.

[@Seygem]

"Your aiming is so shit, I will engage your entire fleet with 4 ships" That has to be the sickest burn in naval history.

[@epithet052]

Recruit Russian sailor: "haha they are only sending 4 ships" Veteran Russian sailor: "oh shit they are only sending 4 ships"

[@looinrims]

Talk about low standards for insults

[@wyvrusgriffion3948]

Four is overkill, two would be enough.

[@davidlewis5312]

From the British whose gunnery would prove in the next ten years to ALSO be a pile of manure

[@RounderRounder]

@@looinrims When it comes to Naval insults, saying you'll keep almost all your entire fleet in port so the fight is "sporting" is a pretty sick burn.

[@JonathanLundkvist]

"Hysterical sailors began yelling that they were all doomed. Correct."

[@CrystalKingdomGeneral4942]

"Because there was a fleet of Japanese torpedo boats waiting for them at the narrowest point between Denmark and Sweden. Incorrect."

[@PhoenixT70]

The slightly amused deadpan delivery just does it for me.

[@larsrons7937]

_"...and then it got worse..."_

[@snakes3425]

(After Tsushima) Admiral Rozhestvensky: Admiral Togo you're gunnery was appalling Togo: why? Admiral Rozhestvensky: I'm still alive

[@bkjeong4302]

snakes3425 Lmao

[@jinhunterslay1638]

Togo actually met with the poor Russian admiral after the battle

[@justinebautista1383]

@@jinhunterslay1638 I feel bad for him man. He was a good commander but had an pathetic fleet

[@jinhunterslay1638]

@@justinebautista1383 not sure about "good"...I'm sure he's average at best

[@edlenorgaeron8003]

@Sparky Puddins By that time, no one was competent enough to carry out the punishment.

[@startrekker4596]

Aurora before leaving the Baltic: “Oh boy! I can’t wait to sail to battle and fight for Tsar and Empire!” Aurora after returning to the Baltic: “the Empire cannot be saved and should be exterminated”

[@tomhsia4354]

Which is approximately what actually happened.

[@joselorenzomendoza5534]

More like: i serve the SOVIET UNION

[@josephdedrick9337]

@@joselorenzomendoza5534 more like...shudder...never again to the east.

[@stanislavkostarnov2157]

​@@josephdedrick9337 meanwhile... SS.Kamchatka (in her new incarnation) fires on a non-existent Ukrainian cruiser in the Barents Sea (or was it in the Kara sea, anyway, somewhere near Nizhni-Muhzhdansk) damaging a helicopter platform in the process...

[@alexanderchristopher6237]

Can’t really blamed them. After all the hell they’ve been through with the empire in this expedition, probably no surprise that they would actually mutinied.

[@jiyuhong5853]

Russians: So let me guess this right, you just decided to shoot up fishing Boats, BRITISH, fishing boats? Admiral: ... Da Russians: But you halted fire and helped rescue the survivors? Admiral: Net! We ran away! Russians: Where were you running to? Admiral: Suez Russians: The same Suez controlled by the British. Admiral: Da. Russians: Via British controlled Gibraltar? Admiral: Da Russians: So you were running away from the British by running to the British? What part of this plan did you think about?

[@MyVanir]

What is this thing called "thinking"?

[@andro7862]

Throwing binoculars and screaming at the sea is a natural reaction to commanding such a abysmal fleet.

[@dougauzene8389]

LOL...HOLY BAUSCH & LOMB, BATMAN! ;-)

[@fredsas12]

Only thing worse is realising that that said binoculars was the last one on the ship because of lack of supplies..

[@BlackStar2161]

Given the circumstances, he acted with comendable restraint. I would've ordered all of the commanding officers of the Kamchatka shot.

[@avikemarruters717]

@@BlackStar2161 But the firing squads would have missed!

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

Hell, that’s just how I spend my Monday nights - looking through the binos at the rest of the week to come.

[@SomethingLegit1]

"You are without doubt the worst fleet I've ever heard of." Baltic Fleet: "But you have heard of me."

[@emjackson2289]

I sail the ocean blue, I'm a saucy thing of beauty! I'm the Baltic Fleet to you, but the 2nd Pacific Squadron on duty!

[@thanquolrattenherz9665]

till this day they wait for a japanese captain to say "this is the best fleet i have ever seen"

[@djs164]

Black Sea Fleet: "Hold my beer."

[@Boppinabe]

"We are the worst fleet you've ever heard of SO FAR."

[@hawkeye5955]

@@djs164 : Vodka

[@thatoneguy8355]

Random European ship: *Exists* Russian 2nd Pacific fleet: "Is this a Japanese torpedo boat?"

[@timulbrich954]

Kamchatka: "One?! Its 15, and they are all attacking me and also i drove them off and also i am sinking and on fire and oh wait I am totally fine."

[@jamespfp]

When in doubt -- SHOOT AND MISS.

[@Mikalent]

As the Americans say, "Dont worry boys, we're suckering them into molotov range."

[@snakes3425]

@@timulbrich954 Kamchatka (as the Russian fleet trains it's guns on them): uh guys what are you doing (sounds of guns loading) why are you loading the guns (ships open fire with Stormtrooper accuracy) I THOUGHT WE WERE ON THE SAME SIDE

[@timulbrich954]

@@snakes3425 commence 20 minutes of furious shooting before the ships run out of whatever ammo they had left over after heroically forcing the british fishing trawlers to retreat. No ship is hit, but kamchatka suffers minor splinter damage

[@TheManFromWaco]

Emperor Meiji: “I must congratulate you admiral, your brilliant torpedo boat tactics have repeatedly thrown the Russian Navy into complete disarray!” Admiral Togo: “It’s not me, Your Majesty. I’m not the one doing this.”

[@vladraduandrei5227]

what torpedo boat tactics ?

[@chaselegoman]

@@vladraduandrei5227 It's a joke about the Russian sailors thinking random fishing boats are Japanese torpedo boats (despite being nowhere near Japan).

[@welshlout3400]

Emperor Meiji: "Ah, then it must be the Kage Bōto no Jutsu I instructed the Imperial Ninja Force to develop for me! They perfected it at last!" Multiple voices from the shadows: "That wasn't us either..."

[@DiegoMartinez-Legolu1vs]

​​@@welshlout3400 Emperor Meji: then who ? Admiral Togo: the Russians themselves, they thought that our torpedo boats were in the Baltic. Emperor Meiji: Your joking right... right ?

[@connorgerein9791]

Alternatively “Thank you your Majesty, I’ll inform the fishermen of the world right away

[@izumishion6267]

Rozhestvensky (to the fleet): How? How do you mistake fishing boats for Japanese torpedo boats!? Fleet: "We're sorry. It wont happen again." *Kamchatka arrives* Rozhestvensky: "And where in Mother Russia's bosom have you been?" Kamchatka: "Sorry for my lateness. Got lost. But you'll be pleased to hear that I fired 300 of my shells at some Japanese torpedo boats." Rozhestvensky: "You wasted 300 shells on Japanese torpedo boats?" Kamchatka: "Yes but I scared them off. Strange though, They flew Swedish, German, and French flags." Rozhestvensky: *left eye begins to twitch. Proceeds to walk to the nearest bathroom and shout incoherently.*

[@RamdomView]

In fairness, the fleet was told that Japanese torpedo boats could be easily disguised as fishing boats.

[@podemosurss8316]

Rozhetsvenky: Bring forth the crate of binoculars!

[@andrewryan4417]

@@RamdomView That doesn't explain how torpedo boats were waiting for them in Western Europe. Other than these peasant sailors literally had no idea where Japan was and how long the trip was going to be.

[@RamdomView]

@@andrewryan4417 To elaborate, the fleet received a report from a transport stating that "four torpedo-boats which only showed lights on the mizenmast-head, so that at a distance they might be taken for fishing boats." That combined with the facts that torpedo boats were hard to detect, that Britain was allied to Japan and that Britain built much of Japan's fleet.

[@RamdomView]

@Lurking Carrier Fear does weird things to human cognition, so roughly yes.

[@tomandtinadixon]

And the Japanese victory at Tsushima strait is no longer a mystery. It was more of a mercy killing.

[@georgesoros6415]

Indeed.

[@joehayes9933]

To be fair, another hour or two of fog and the fleet which wouldn't have been caught and made it.

[@battleship217]

@@joehayes9933 and then hit a rock and sink

[@joehayes9933]

@Jack the Gestapo that's actually what happened. Like Force Z in 1941, the Russians were literally caught by fog dropping off an hour before safety. Also, the Japanese weren't too good in the war, in fact had the original commander not had his head blown off I'd say the Japanese would've probably lost as mine warfare took its toll

[@Rammstein0963.]

Actually a Russian hospital ship gave away the fleet's position accidentally I hear.

[@Beowulf_DW]

I lost it at the bit about the parrot. Just imagine that thing flying around reciting every Russian curse under the sun.

[@weldonwin]

"Caw, caw *BLYAT!* "

[@moritamikamikara3879]

"Debil blyat pizdec." "Ummm... excuse me?" "DAVAI AMBAL NI POHUI!!!"

[@bkjeong4302]

@Jim Man Parrots can actually learn (through context) what words mean.

[@kickassssnation027]

Maybe the parrot understood what The Admiral was feeling.

[@GilsoniteRoute]

I feel like even the parrot was appaled by the idiocy before it and could not keep a civil tongue 😂

[@DerpsWithWolves]

At first it seemed like Rozhestvensky was a really angry dude. But after hearing what he had to deal with... I understand.

[@OhNotThat]

He started with a temper, he ended with a nervous breakdown.

[@bkjeong4302]

He eventually died of a heart attack after the war. I suspect this fiasco shortened his lifespan by a decade or two.

[@gleisbauer25]

I‘m starting to wonder how the good emporer of the US Navy, Admiral King, would have handled the second pacific squadron.

[@riograndedosulball248]

I sometimes think of him, on that bridge, yelling with every last bit of force, at a far too distant Kamchatka. We've all been there

[@Slava_Ukraini1991]

@@riograndedosulball248 throwing his binoculars overboard at it.

[@craigjohnson2301]

Whenever someone asks me if I’m alright I’m gonna answer by saying “Do you see torpedo boats?”

[@bogdangabrielonete3467]

Panik

[@OneofInfinity.]

Better than: "Do Bears poop in the woods?"

[@johnmeehan4469]

@@bogdangabrielonete3467 . .???..".,.e?.E..e. ???.

[@brocksamson212]

"The addition of a venomous serpent increased the offensive power of the ship considerably."

[@ezragoldberg3132]

I like your Pikachu Profile Picture :) Lightning Bolt! ⚡

[@athrowaway3487]

Especially in any boarding action

[@hawkeye5955]

"Prepare for boarding action! Ready the poisonous snake!"

[@GeraltofRivia22]

@@athrowaway3487 ah yes, the famous battleship boarding actions.

[@warmike]

maybe because it bit the commander?

[@SerPinkKnight]

Oh God, the mental image of this grand Russia admiral, commander of a whole fleet just standing on deck and SCREAMING at his ships because they are so shit, even though they are too far away to hear him is just hilarious

[@ShahjahanMasood]

I'm dying XDDD

[@SephirothRyu]

"What do you MEAN we have run out of binoculars?!"

[@Christopher-N]

If Basil Fawlty, instead of being a hotel proprietor, was a Russian Admiral. :P

[@jamuraisack5503]

At one point, he had the Kamchatka stay nearby in order to better berate them.

[@SephirothRyu]

@@jamuraisack5503 But what if... he had made Kamchatka ITSELF his flagship?

[@happycentury4288]

Im so glad that the voyage of the 2nd pacific squadron was this well documented, this is a masterpiece historical comedy. It even comes with a recurring joke, the kamchatka

[@Juggler4071]

I haven't seen the video of the battle itself, but it also continues in the same comic vein. Having previously mistaken pretty much every object they came across for a Japanese ship, as they approached the Tsashima strait they finally came across Japanese ships in the fog... and mistook them for Russians. The Russian hospital ship actually signalled the Japanese to look out for the other Russian ships in the area, which rather removed the element of surprise.

[@larsrons7937]

The composition of the fleet: For what reason did they bring an *ice breaker* for for this voyage? I could be wrong but I don't think there is that much ice at the equator.

[@grumbeard]

@@larsrons7937 This one actually makes sense. Vladivostok, the possible destination of the fleet and the area around it is not ice free all year round. Depending on how long the campaign was going to last they would have been rightly effd if they couldn't get into the harbor becouse of not being able to make a path.

[@larsrons7937]

@@grumbeard To be honest you are absolute right, I had the same thought myself. But the chance for a joke was too obvious, a ball right at my foot, I just had to shoot it. 😄 And if not for Vladivostok itself it would have been useful further up north, based at Vladivostok.

[@merafirewing6591]

​@@larsrons7937 I think that icebreaker wanted to go on a tropical vacation.

[@anthonykelly5352]

You should pitch this as a movie, a two parter, the voyage there, then the battle, if you included Russian, British and Japanese actors, directors and producers, it could be bigger than Ben Hur, proving truth is a better story line than fiction, because no one would have believed this actually happened. The box of binoculars alone would be worth the admission to watch him throwing them in 3D.

[@bkjeong4302]

Awesome idea.

[@chooseyouhandle]

would the movie be a drama or a comedy?

[@Angel9932]

@@chooseyouhandle Yes

[@steventhompson399]

This is a great movie waiting to happen, comedy during voyage then tragedy at battle vs Togo

[@Squiglypig]

@@chooseyouhandle I think a dark comedy along the lines of "The Death of Stalin". It could absolutely work.

[@cosmoflanker]

I have three comments: 1) It's like a Greek Tragedy, as only the Russians could do it. 2) Surely the "Battle of Dogger Bank" deserves its own video. 3) Damn those Japanese ninja torpedo boats, you never know where they'll pop up!

[@anonymusum]

Your com finished me off .... lmao

[@teodor9975]

4) do you see torpedo boats?

[@teodor9975]

@Golden Eagle phantom or sand going?

[@teodor9975]

@Golden Eagle these fancy technologies... Witchcraft

[@jackmack1061]

I love number one.+1

[@MSP-km6li]

monty python: naval edition

[@boxman9033]

lmao

[@rogercushman2903]

Monty Python's Flying Fleet, Fawlty Fleet, The Benny Hill Fleet.............

[@Ozraptor4]

2000 cigarettes filled with opium = kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z6KsaouJjLaVoac

[@A_Haunted_Pancake]

" Cary on … Sailing for the Tsar "

[@trekaddict]

That comparison isd surprisingly apt, with Sid James as the Admiral.

[@AirShark95]

We need this to be turned into a miniseries and directed in a style like "The Death of Stalin". Dry, dark humor with good cinematography and a very clever direction and acting. Edit: suck it, u/greyfawkes0

[@paulgibbon5991]

I was thinking a sitcom, complete with laugh track. I mean, the protagonist is one half Basil Fawlty and one half Edmund Blackadder.

[@Colt45hatchback]

Too bad john cleese is too old now. Would have been perfect.

[@Kaiserboo1871]

I’m thinking a dark comedy. It needs to end with the disastrous defeat at Tsushima.

[@alexandermackie7621]

@@Kaiserboo1871 Ah, like Blackadder going over the top?

[@Kaiserboo1871]

@@alexandermackie7621 All I’m saying is that it needs to be a 2 parter. The first part is about the journey, and the second part needs to be about the Battle of Tsushima and it’s aftermath.

[@jinhunterslay1638]

Fun Fact: Admiral Togo actually visited Rozhestvensky after the Battle when Rozhestvensky was being treated at a Japanese hospital, and he offered the following words: “ Defeat is a common fate of a soldier. There is nothing to be ashamed of in it. The great point is whether we have performed our duty.” Togo probably didn’t realize his words would mean more to Rozhestvensky than he intended because he had no idea what the poor guy has been through...

[@mackbolan8]

So true

[@GeraltofRivia22]

Amazing how quickly the attitude of a culture can shift, considering how the Japanese felt about soldiers on the losing side during WW2.

[@jinhunterslay1638]

@@GeraltofRivia22 TLDR, the reason Japan is so different during WW2 is because the underwent a minor coup d'etat where nationalist extremists took over all the big positions.

[@Japcsali]

@@jinhunterslay1638 there was always a massive difference between army and navy mentality

[@hawkeye5955]

@@Japcsali: The Japanese army and navy practically hated each other during WWII. At one point, the navy refused to provide fire support to army troops.

[@derptomistic]

Ship: *Exists* 2nd Pacific: "TORPEDO BOAT!" Ship: *Doesn't exist* 2nd Pacific: "We're under attack! Throw the iguana!"

[@invadegreece9281]

The hell

[@thomaspowell7468]

Throw the Iguana made my day at 2 in the morning

[@hawkeye5955]

"Load the poisonous snake in the main batteries!"

[@CharliMorganMusic]

So anyway, I started blasting.

[@Udontsay948]

Iguana: Assemble the Rat Corp!

[@minyiiiii]

kamchatka: misses every single shot kamchatka: fires a salute, and the single salute hit the aurora *what*

[@CrossBorderNerds]

The target is the safest place to be.

[@bkjeong4302]

This is actually exaggerated (though not by much); Kamchatka DID use a live shell for a salute and fire it at the Aurora, but it was a very near miss rather than a hit.

[@Colt45hatchback]

I was hoping the crew was having a laugh, oi Joe, wouldn't it be funny if we shot at aurora? Yeah haha bang

[@CorsetGrace]

I laughed out loud at that one.

[@jamesyap8364]

@@Colt45hatchback *shell hits Aurora Crew of Kamchatka: oh blyat.

[@gusbuckingham6663]

My grandfather was a WW2 Sailor. Started a cabin boy and retired a harbor pilot. I'm not going to say where or the name of the ship incase the former US Navy captain is looking at this trying to feel better by seeing the Kamchatka. His is s very short and sad tale indeed. So my grandfather boarded a WW2 destroyer to bring her in to port. This was in the late 60s/early 70s. He took command and that is where the captain got the idea he was smarter them THE GUY PAID TO PILOT SHIPS IN.... He questioned everything my grandfather said, voicing it in front of the men on the bridge. He kept it up for a good 20 minutes. The guy was by what I was told "an idiot". When approaching the pier the captain said they were going in at the wrong angle. My grandfather was very annoyed by now and told the guy that he knew the harbor, tides and reminded him that he was a pilot after all. The captain began to give orders countermanding my grandfather's orders. It went something like this: Grandfather: I'm commanding this ship. I know the harbor. Captain: No. G: Are you going to take the com? C: Yes. G: OK. All of you (to the men on the bridge) are witness. The captain has refused to let me comand and has taken control of this ship. C: (Series of orders that made no sense going against an ebb tide that was very swift) G: You're going to hit the pier. C: I am not. G: I assure you that you are. C: I'm in comand... G: (Braces himself against the bulkhead as did anyone not directly involved with this mess.) C: Oh.... And with that the destroyer hit the pier. Starboard side going about 100 feet against it; terrible metal tearing sound. This was followed by more orders that took her away from the pier to come around and take another try. G: Do you relinquish or keep comand? C: (gulp) ... relinquish. My grandfather said this idoit,"Shouldn't comand a floating dock". But still, STILL, not as crummy as the skipper of the Kamchatka. If you made it this far thanks for reading.

[@loganlove9986]

That poor soul . . . Im SURE he can learn a lesson or 2 on what (not) to do from Kamchatka 🥳🥳

[@The_ZeroLine]

lol a classic tale

[@Rutherford_Inchworm_III]

Story, bro.

[@larsrons7937]

I love that story. But at some point I spit my coffee out all over my computer screen from laughing. Now I have to clean it. Thanks for sharing the story.

[@trevorday7923]

Bless him, a true seaman and an example of patience for us all. The captain didn't happen to have... a strong Russian accent, by any chance....?

[@theirnkamchatka3638]

This was such a fun road trip with all of my friends. I do not appreciate you making fun of my spotting of torpedo boats though. They were actually there! I swear!

[@justjohnny420]

I believe that you believe you saw them. :)

[@ShahjahanMasood]

Oh god; its the Kamchatka! We are all doomed! 《Runs away》

[@loneneotank.5687]

*confused screaming*

[@syariffadilah2949]

Kamchatka stop hitting Avrora !

[@LuizAlexPhoenix]

Fuck it, I declare war on you! Prepare your remaining shells! Now, being your target instead of ally I am assured to survive.

[@Aubury]

I winced at the irony, grimaced at the satire, and laughed at the folly, the human condition at sea, in war. The Tsar having read a telegram, telling of the defeat of the second Pacific squadron, put it in his pocket, and continued his game of tennis..

[@thewaraboo2824]

The Aurora: "A shining example of Naval conduct and discipline." Also the Aurora: *[Mutinies and literally overthrows an entire government]*

[@alexgottlieb1286]

The Waraboo oh yes, one shot - 70 years of destruction!

[@bkjeong4302]

Wouldn’t you mutiny in that situation?

[@alexgottlieb1286]

Bk Jeong Aurora mutined in 1917, not in 1905.

[@Masterchiefkf3]

ALEX GOTTLIEB after this shitshow, and a good 12 years of royal Russian bullshit, who wouldn’t mutiny?

[@stanthology]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oKPMhYJ8Z5WZisU

[@Atsah]

Admiral Beresford pitting 4 battleships against the entire 2nd pacific squadron and describing it as “chivalrous” is honestly one of the best diplomatic insults I’ve ever heard. He must have genuinely pitied Rozhezvensky, a LOT.

[@manz7860]

Cheeky ass brits

[@DrThunder88]

William D Porter: We are the worst warship in history. Kamchatka: Hold my vodka. *Kamchatka drops the bottle while handing it to Porter* *Porter sinks anyway*

[@MikeJones-qn1gz]

I mean atleast nobody was killed when porter was abandoned

[@NashmanNash]

Don´t forget the Mogami..5 Torpedoes,4 sunken ships..all japanese transports

[@bkjeong4302]

@@NashmanNash Neither William D. Porter nor Mogami were as bad as Kamchatka. They only had one significant fuckup (most of the Porter's mishaps were fabricated in 1997, with only the torpedo incident and her sinking being legitimate, and the latter wasn't a case of incompetence).

[@arya31ful]

@Sparky Puddins She should've won a medal for that.

[@marxel4444]

Ah! The infamouse Willy D!

[@christopherr.2137]

“And this being a Russian fleet the phrase “Then Things Got Worse” “ I actually laughed out loud and am still chuckling about that line well played Sir well played indeed

[@gregorydicovitsky3291]

You have outdone yourself here. Amazing facts, expertly told!

[@thekinginyellow1744]

If you study the history of Russia, you begin to understand why "And then things got worse" is kind of a Russian proverb.

[@alexandermarinin7036]

Russian proverb is "It never happened, but then again..."

[@dalik1997]

Name more iconic duo: Kamchatka + torpedo boats with operational range of 18000 km , capable of 300 knots

[@s.31.l50]

Dalimil Rozprým They are no boats, they are transonic Torpedo bombers

[@LostBeaver]

Kms Bismarck and being overhyped to the moon and back

[@bkjeong4302]

Post-Dreadnought battleships and failing to do anything to justify their costs. (Yes, I said it)

[@LordOceanus]

And fitted with cloaking devices. One has to wonder if they were fighting Kingons instead of the Japanese

[@barrylucas505]

Don't forget the fact that they are invisible

[@trevorday7923]

"...Admiral Togo, who had been watching the Russian fleet all along..." I just get this picture in my head like this was a movie. It starts with a man in Japanese naval uniform walking past the camera, then stopping, turning around and peering into the camera as if he's all of a sudden seen something interesting. He waves to someone out of frame, beckons them closer and points at the screen in a "you don't BELIEVE this..." kind of way. Then every time something goes wrong for the Russians we'd get another short clip of an increasing number of Japanese naval officers, absolutely glued to the screen in rapt attention, and occasionally a hand comes up from below the frame as one of them slowly eats popcorn...... (We HAVE to make this movie....)

[@TomFynn]

The reactions of the IJn officers during the movie must be: "We get to fight more Russians? Banzai!" "We get to fight these Russians? Banzai, I guess?" "We had to fight *these* Russians? Poor bastards."

[@jonskowitz]

I've always felt for V.Adm Rozhestvensky on learning even the basics of this voyage many years ago; accomplishing an astonishing logistics victory even getting his squadron to the AO only for it to be unceremoniously sunk. On learning the details? He must have been not only convinced that God was punishing him for the sins of the entire Tzar's navy, but that he was likely looking forward to death if it meant getting away from this circus

[@Th3Kingism]

And then being punished by the Tsar and effectively having his career ruined, I'm glad at least he got respect from Admiral Togo even in defeat.

[@murderouskitten2577]

I usually listen to your videos in car while driving somewhere ( phone via bluetooth to car stereo ) . For first time in my life i actually had to pull over , and watch the video at the resting place , coz i was laughthing so dam hard , i could not drive safely . I was laughthing so hard it hurts now , even half a hour later :) Thanks for making this day so bright :)

[@virusguy5611]

I'm at work right now and i'm hoping my coworkers don't give me weird looks for how much i'm cackling.

[@roylu6580]

I almost spat water all over my room while watching this and choked trying not to

[@virusguy5611]

@@roylu6580 For me it was 8:35 where the battleship sank that made me giggle... then it was the "NINJA JAPANESE TORPEDO BOATS" that made me howl in laughter.. and then I got broken by Kamchatka.

[@whee38]

The first time I watched this video I laughed so hard I pissed my self. Only watch this video on an empty blatter

[@alainarchambault2331]

Really? Not even a chuckle from me. Guess I expect humans to be so stupid that I'm not taken by surprise.

[@mikea2363]

Legend says that some of the few Japanese casualties were caused by a flying snake

[@chemech]

As opposed to the majority being due to uncontrolled laughter...

[@Alystas]

Another legend say that most of the casualties from japanese side came from mass suicide, the japanese sailors being so humiliated that such a batch of buffoons have been sent to fight against them.

[@bkjeong4302]

Alystas That’s an insult to buffoons.

[@barleysixseventwo6665]

After the battle the Japanese hospital ships were inundated with wounded sailers; mostly bruised jaws from when they hit the floor upon seeing the operational...”capabilities” of the Russians.

[@Aristocles22]

I think some Japanese almost got bitten by a drugged-up Russian-speaking crocodile from Africa.

[@CaptainColdyron222]

16:51 In The Hunt For Red October novel there is an Alfa class submarine named for E.S. Politovsky. Of course, being named for a member of the Second Pacific Squadron, her luck is atrocious. On her maiden voyage she collides with a whale and is nearly lost. She later suffers a catastrophic reactor accident and sinks.

[@trekker105]

I ha e to wonder if that was intentional

[@trekker105]

I ha e to wonder if that was intentional

[@Packless1]

...forshadowing...! 😁😱

[@spirz4557]

@@trekker105 Given the boat's incident record... 1st incident takes place during her sea trials : rams a whale, impact crushes ten square meters of the bow, destroys the sonar, jams a torpedo tube, almost drowns the torpedo compartment and damags almost all systems onboard. Politovsky only survives because of Ramius' skills. The repairs take one year. In the meantime, two additional Alfas have been commissioned. 2nd incident : High pressure turbine malfunctions and the ship must return to port just two days after careening. Two more undetailed minor incidents of various gravity take place in the meantime, giving Politovky a permanent reputation of cursed ship. 5th and final incident : Politovsky, after four days of full regime, has a reactor accident and makes an emergency surface. One sailor falls on a control panel, cutting the power onboard. With no control, she sinks. Only one man survives the disaster : a cook who is washed overboard before he can lock the escape trunk in the open position. The survivors slowly suffocate to death. The worst part is that there is a US sub, USS Pogy, which assists to the scene and immediately sounds the alarm, but the rescuers aren't fast enough. Oh, and the cook later escape burning to death when a clueless KGB agent is about to light a smoke in a hospital in an oxygen room. Clancy probably based Politovsky's backstory on the real life Alfa K-64 which suffered a catastrophic reactor accident and was deemed a total loss and/or the Hotel-class K-19 which was nicknamed "Hiroshima" by her crew and suffered numerous accidents and breakdowns.

[@RobotsEverywhereVideos]

And then it got worse

[@briancox2721]

Let's be honest, how close do you think the good admiral was to dropping a lit match into the coal dust and calling it a lifetime?

[@Bird_Dog00]

Not sure. I guess that would have dependet on the availability of vodka.

[@stanthology]

Nicely expressed. I will try to use that before I kick the bucket!

[@stoutyyyy]

Bird_Dog I certainly would’ve turned to the bottle

[@redeyedwithanger5866]

well he got it by heartattack wonder if he was mid beat down on a dumbass

[@seanbigay1042]

"Admiral, please, you don't want to drop that match ... Look, I've brought you a shiny new pair of binoculars!"

[@ScipionLaurentiend]

Im a sailor IRL , and when you said the commander would scream from the bridge wing and throw his bino made me laugh so hard.....can see some of my old captain right there

[@Alex-cw3rz]

I can't express how sorry I feel for Zinovy Rozhestvensky

[@redram5150]

Symptomatic of a larger, more terminal issue

[@nmccw3245]

No kidding. What a shit show.

[@virusguy5611]

Seconded. I thought he was incompetent... until I watched this. Poor bastard's IQ must have been dropped by 50 points due to all the madness.

[@LordOceanus]

I'm genuinely shocked he didn't have a stroke or start executing the offending officers

[@jonskowitz]

I can certainly understand why his temperament was what it was if what he experienced on this voyage is any indication of what he faced day-to-day in the Tsar's navy.

[@vikkimcdonough6153]

I feel Admiral Rozhestvensky's pain. It is somewhat of a wonder that the Second Pacific Squadron actually made it to Tsushima (relatively) intact.

[@Tom_The_Cat]

Rozhestvensky: Breathes All ships: FIRE AT AURORA Edit: This admiral is the hero we deserve

[@benjamintracey6145]

I have shown this video to a couple of friends on separate occasions, both of whom were in a sullen mood on those days. Their mood immediately brightened considerably at this hilarious tale of misfortune.

[@seanbigay1042]

I hope they didn't go on to Part 2, Drachinifel's account of the Battle of Tsushima. That would only have depressed them even more.

[@sergarlantyrell7847]

I love that the Royal Navy planned to go to war with the entire Russian 2nd Pacific fleet using only 4 ships... ... And they probably would have won!

[@sergarlantyrell7847]

@Brett Mitchell Veterans of what? I don't remember many naval battles in the Boer war, and it was 50 years since the Crimean war so none of the officers or sailors would have still been in service from then.

[@joehayes9933]

@Magni56 Beresford: I had to be sporting man! Fisher: No! We need every ship for the Germans! Beresford (muttering): A pair of torpedo boats could've handled them.

[@kamchatka_survivor1959]

Ser Garlan Tyrell The Royal Navy should have trolled the 2nd Squadron with torpedo boats. 😈

[@joehayes9933]

@@kamchatka_survivor1959 Then again, the Russians would've probably panicked and fired everything the minute the torpedo boats showed up. Granted they'd probably sink the Aurora instead but it would be hilariois

[@jameshope7933]

Wasn't it the 100 Anniversary of Trafalgar that year?so yeah,4 British battleships is more than enough.every man in the Royal Navy would have been willing to attack ina rowboat and board them if necessary.

[@azmodanpc]

The bit about the British wanting to go against the entire second fleet with only 4 ships is a sick burn if there ever was one.

[@virusguy5611]

Oh my god. When you list the ships, it is like watching a heist team introduction... Except they’re all crap

[@jonskowitz]

National Lampoon's Oceans 11

[@christophpoll784]

Every Team needs a mascot.... but what to do with a team that only consists of mascots...!?!?

[@crhu319]

Great names. Lousy officers.

[@stanklepoot]

"the addition of a large venomous serpent to the particular ship in question probably increased the offensive power of the ship considerably" There are some wonderfully (and quite deservedly) snarky comments in this video, but this is probably my favorite.

[@synthdriver8817]

I love how this period of Russia's "Navy" history is like one big joke; except it's not a joke. This actually happened.

[@robertfousch2703]

Not according to Wargaming.

[@tumppu1975]

@@robertfousch2703 Any downvotes on this video are probably from wargaming employees or their biggest fanbois.

[@Ironhold_Watch]

Why do they think it didn't happen ?0.o

[@synthdriver8817]

@@Ironhold_Watch Russia wanting to pretend it's better than it really is probably. Propaganda so the masses dont realize how shit things are.

[@LeviForWaifu]

Comberth Ballstomp replayed

[@vinnynj78]

I really have to commend the crew of the Kamchatka in their tireless efforts to be even worse than the fleet with which they were sailing. A monumental task for sure.

[@richardhockey8442]

and another award for the crew of the Aurora for being the best-run ship in the fleet while being a magnet for fire from the rest of the fleet

[@michalsoukup1021]

"The story of a few good men's struggle, against their own commanders, their own fleet, their own ships and their own men. And Kamchatka, Above all against Kamchatka"

[@virusguy5611]

We don’t need photos. All we need is that dry wit and smooth human voice drachnifel

[@kylieadams5414]

This is ultimately my FAVORITE part of this channel. Dry wit mixed with fascinating historical knowledge.

[@mxplixic]

The Russian sailors get to listen to this done in Robot Voice... for all eternity. :)

[@stoutyyyy]

Honestly he should just make this a podcast

[@toonbat]

"The Guard's Uniform Hanger" hasta be the sickest burn I've ever heard. Rozhestvensky is my hero!

[@starwarzchik112]

Meanwhile, in the modern day, Russia’s only aircraft carrier, the _Admiral Kuznetsov,_ sank a dry dock it was moored at, needs a tugboat escort in case it breaks down, and leaves a trail of smoke so long it can be seen from space. Some things never change!

[@RamdomView]

It gets better: the reason for the tug boat and smoke? The Soviet Union, and later Russia, never bothered to build the port infrastructure to support the ship, meaning the ship's engines are always being run.

[@kvltizt]

Russia’s military is materially large but the material itself is mostly junk.

[@elbolainas4174]

I once read that thw Russian naval doctrine dismisses carriers bc they're too large amd expensive to be useful and they're giant targets for way cheaper anti ship missiles, hence the Russian navy commissioned so few. Given the actual performance of the Russian military and its rotten core revealed in the recent months I'm quite sure that argument was nothing but another maskirovka.

[@notoriousblt1038]

And now the Moskva has been sunk by an enemy with no navy

[@joebombero1]

China had a helicopter carrier catch fire while in dock. Apparently the walls had been insulated with flammable insulation instead of the expensive fireproof insulation so the contractor could pocket the savings. A welder ignited the insulation and the ship quickly burned out of control for three days.

[@yansuki4240]

im dying, forget emu war. this one take the crown for ulitmate war meme.

[@KatherineFtw]

Nobody remembers the time Japan treated to arm the emus with torpedo boats? :p

[@Volnas97]

Everyone is talking about Emu war, but China once declared war on Sparrows with around 1 000 000 dead and there is still some aftermath (e.g. very few bees, and insecticides everywhere)

[@yansuki4240]

@@Volnas97 that one is nasty, the chinese got bitten hard back by locust and cause devastating famine. thanks mao.

[@SephirothRyu]

The reason why a few of the sailors went insane: Gir was aboard their ship. And he sang the Doom Song. THE ENTIRE VOYAGE. Ok, fine. He occasionally spent a day singing Its A Small World continuously instead.

[@ahmadshasha3632]

Me too...hahahaha

[@sitara2783]

Hey Drach, I just wanted to say that I love and appreciate your work. I have PTSD and tend toward panic attacks, and I've turned your videos on several times to help me calm down from said panic attacks. Your voice is very soothing and your humor really lifts my spirits, and I appreciate the lack of sudden loud noises in your videos. Thanks for making and posting your work.

[@historytank5673]

Man people like you encourage me every day, I sometimes struggle with stress and also can be prone to late night panic attacks. Thank you for posting this as it reminds me I am not alone and if people can survive worse mental conditions, than so can I. Hope your still going strong, you are worthy of it.

[@TheParkerrrrrr6]

It's a miracle Aurora even exists today with everything it's been through. And that's before the revolution.

[@ezragoldberg3132]

I've seen it anchored in the Neva River in St Petersburg and she still looks good :)

[@rossMoHaX]

It was fully rebuilt in 80s, only few original parts remained.

[@shark180]

I can imagine the crew of the Kamchatka seeing a sea gull and going, "Holy hell its a torpedo boat! OPEN FIRE!"

[@mistertagnan]

**Seagull lands on the Kamchatka’s deck** “My god, we’re being boarded by the Japanese!!!”

[@45CaliberCure]

The poisonous snake increasing the deadliness of the ship part was so good. This whole video is solid gold. Well done!

[@dougauzene8389]

INDEED..."Snakes on A Plane" Meets "The Sand Pebbles!" ;-) (Appropriate Era...)

[@blueeyeswhitedragon9839]

If history had been taught in school as presented here, we would all be historians, and fools would never be elected to high places.

[@deltavee2]

Right. I hereby nominate Drachinifel for President of the Planet.

[@walterbrown8694]

The narration could not be more perfect - British humor carefully enclosing hilarious sarcasm !

[@dougauzene8389]

INDEED...HERE, HERE! & HARRUMPH!

[@cjclark2002]

I second this, aggressively.

[@motortheo1]

I can't stop laughing, and at the same time imagine this hell..

[@lexington476]

This is crazy, I keep having to stop the video I'm laughing so hard.

[@davidkelley5382]

My sides hurt. Great vid👍

[@ViktorBengtsson]

I'm literally crying with laughing. It would've been great to know this 11 or 12 years ago when I was aboard the Aurora.

[@danielgriggs5658]

seems the Russian aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov keeps up the tradition.

[@Delgen1951]

@@danielgriggs5658 yeap...Russia one of the great land powers, sucks at sea!

[@davidcarr7436]

This is the second time I've watched this. It's even crazier! If this was ever made into a film, it would be the greatest military tragi/comedy ever!!

[@windwalker5765]

Kamchatka: "We've sighted enemy torpedo boats!" Me: "What the hell is Jingles doing on a Russian cruiser?"

[@Masterchiefkf3]

John Evans jingles May be crap, but I don’t think he’s that crap.

[@benbaselet2026]

@@Masterchiefkf3 Apparently you know nothing of this legendary oaf.

[@garynew9637]

The tanks on fire.

[@hawkeye5955]

Jingles picked a Russian cruiser but it was actually the repair ship Kamchatka.

[@117steveng]

I can see jingles doing that . The salt mines would be working overtime on that day

[@trekaddict]

I just remembered where I knew Politovski from. IN an early novel, I think in Hunt for Red October, Tom Clancy named a Soviet SSN after him. Which then proceeded to have a serious reactor accident that sank the boat.

[@usmcfutball]

Nice catch!

[@bertrandlechat4330]

I thought that was the Kanavalov

[@ramjb]

@@bertrandlechat4330 Nah, the Konovalov was the alfa that attacked the Red October at the end of the novel.

[@landshark000068]

I spent the last 10 minutes just LMMFAO so hard, I had tears in my eyes. I wasn't aware this channel did comedy.

[@TomFynn]

I'm amazed the Russian Fleet had any ammo left when battle began and hadn't spent all of it on torpedo boats. The battle of Tsushima should be called "the Putting a Fleet out of its Misery of Tsuhima"

[@UlyssesSGrant-qy5ck]

The image in my mind of guys laying on the deck wearing life jackets accepting their fate, while guys ran around swinging swords as they fired on their own ships, made me laugh out loud..

[@kitkun7669]

Was the icebreaker handled poorly, or was the captain the smartest guy in the fleet?

[@slider903]

Makes me wonder if he was trying to get sent home.

[@woopington]

pulling the fire alarm in school to get sent home, but in 1904

[@honorablespartan]

@@woopington Unlike the fire alarm trick, this worked.

[@greebj]

In reality it lost its most dangerous ship, one designed to ram stuff

[@fw6938]

23:44 well, to be fair, a single British-build Japanese torpedo would be a pretty big threat to the fleet, considering that the Russians damaged their own fleet more than their "opponents" when attacking FISHING TRAWLERS

[@Th3Kingism]

Russian navy attacks fishing trawlers! *Russian navy hurts itself in its confusion*

[@Bustermachine]

We owe the communists an apology. We always assumed the vast incompetence and corruption was their fault. It turns out it's just endemic to Russia in general.

[@brendonnel6593]

Lol

[@byron2334]

Two things can be true at once. They aren't mutually exclusive.

[@barry5767]

What do you expect when alcoholism is the national pastime?

[@kaminsod4077]

Nah, corruption flourishes in communist countries like mushrooms after rain.

[@Noisy_Cricket]

Indeed. Vietnam and North Korea are clearly more competent than this!

[@HaydenLau.]

2nd Pacific Squadron Formerly Baltic Squadron Only in Russia

[@Delgen1951]

do they know how to play Battleship? bouth what they should stick to.

[@snakes3425]

Soon to be scrap metal Currently scrap metal on the bottom of the ocean

[@kyle857]

Literally, only possible in Russia.

[@KrillLiberator]

@@kyle857 So correct and thank you.

[@CrossBorderNerds]

Rozhestvensky: Trying to do the best with what he had. Kamchatka: I'm about to end this man's whole career.

[@josh656]

"Ready the boarding party, unravel the poisonous snake!!"

[@Questknight12]

"PREPARE TO REPEL BOARDERS! FIRE THE SNAKE!"

[@theatagamer90]

"Release the various carnivores!"

[@sawyerawr5783]

I'm not sure how I haven't seen this comment before but now I can't stop laughing and my father is looking at me like I'm insane. I love it! Also I'm now imagining some kind of cartoon-esque scene where the gun crews ram the snake into the gun, ram the powder charge, then fire it so that its body is wiggling rapidly from side to side as the head basically steers like a homing rocket toward Togo on the bridge of the Mikasa. where it then impacts throwing him back off the bridge and over the side.

[@hawkeye5955]

"Ready the poisonous 🐍!"

[@clumsycommissar5260]

The ssssucsssesss of thisss missssion dependsss on how I use thissss cardboa- er... wrong snake

[@ZGryphon]

Thanks to his description here, I can only picture Admiral Rozhestvensky being played by Captain Archibald Haddock from the _Tintin_ comics, screaming random nouns at his subordinates through his megaphone in transports of fury. "Visigoths! Bashi-bazouks! Triangulators! Anacoluthons!"

[@TomFynn]

Troglodytes! Iconoclasts!

[@seanbigay1042]

You forgot "Ten thousand thundering typhoons!"

[@hourlardnsaver362]

Duck-billed platypuses! Jellied eels!

[@seanbigay1042]

@@hourlardnsaver362 Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles!

[@giovannifavullo7065]

"don't trust anybody, not even yourself" -2nd Pacific Suadron

[@anngo4140]

"trust, but verify"

[@709badwolf]

another case of history can be stranger than fiction. thanks!👍

[@magnemoe1]

A bit stranger yes. They can be lucky their gunnery was so bad or they might stated WW1 10 year earlier. As in western Europe against Russia.

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

It is pretty darn hilarious, isn't it? And the loss of life doesn't reduce the facepalm-level either. sadly the habit of connections overriding competency still is very much a thing - albeit not quite to that extent any more....

[@themercer4972]

Brilliant ! Both historical and entertaining. Iv never laughed so much at a sad set of events. "This being a Russian fleet, the phrase "and then things got worse," was seen in full effect."

[@ericmarley7060]

The Kamchatka is it's own character. God knows what they did when they got lost in that second storm. and how many "Japanese" vessels (read: neutral vessels) they destroyed. They fired 300 rounds in that time alone.

[@thoralexander9387]

Given her gunnery and general incompetence, I can safely tell you that she most assuredly did not sink anything.

[@underworldguardian704]

@@thoralexander9387 Ironically, that was her saving grace!

[@mistertagnan]

“Do you guys hear that?” ~Ship that the Kamchatka has desperately been trying to kill for the past 30 minutes

[@luispt77]

Rozhestvensky: Ok guys let's do a fire practice so we at least hit something Aurora: Yeah... you guys do that while we go over there outside any firing range of any of you...

[@howardxu8050]

Also Aurora: Gets hit anyway

[@jejeakle]

@@howardxu8050 by the Kamchatka

[@Juanito_Peligroso]

Let me take a side bar to note that THIS particular Russian officer was NOT corrupt. Thank you your honor.

[@seanbigay1042]

The good news is that Zinovi Roshestventsky seems to have been incorrupt, competent, and conscientious. The bad news? Why do you think he was so angry all the time?

[@Jon.A.Scholt]

(Naked Man) "Do you fear death?"

[@Feiora]

*Draws pistol and shoots the naked man*

[@deltavee2]

Ecktually he was only half-naked. The question is which half of him was naked? Mind if he was covered in coal dust, one probably couldn't tell.

[@Feiora]

@@deltavee2 *puts afew more bullets in just to be sure* ...

[@TK42100]

*Throws binoculars as well*

[@christophpoll784]

I wonder if he used some squid arms to form a beard before asking this....

[@maxhill7065]

I love coming back to this video whenever the world has me down, it'll never get as bad as it got for the 2nd Pacific squadron

[@seanbigay1042]

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR ...

[@maxkennedy8075]

Who would win? A fleet of mighty Russian warships vs 0 Japanese torpedo boats

[@zachsmith1676]

hands down the imaginary IJN Torpedo Boats

[@keithbrown7685]

this'll be the first time I've ever voted for 0.

[@joeye1772]

Did you mean: “a fleet of mighty Russian warships vs the same fleet of mighty Russian warships”? 😂

[@justjohnny420]

Fishing ships had better accuracy without ever firing a shot

[@Colt45hatchback]

I think the sea

[@Alome9]

This needs to be made into a movie

[@insignificantgnat9334]

Too much incompetence to fit into a hundred minutes. This amount of stupidity needs a miniseries.

[@A_Haunted_Pancake]

" Cary on … For the Tsar " . ( If you get that reference: Congratulations, You're either old, British, old AND British )

[@syncmonism]

@@insignificantgnat9334 While it's not the same thing, I do know of a surprisingly good naval comedy set in the future. It's a sci-fi space anime called "The Irresponsible Captain Tylor" and it's surprisingly good.

[@korbell1089]

A battle planned by the 3 Stooges and carried out by the Keystone cops. I've always been surprised that they made it to Tsushima without killing each other...oh that's right, their gunnery sucked.

[@falloutghoul1]

I've heard comparisons that it was one of Wagner's plays directed by the Marx Brothers.

[@TraditionalAnglican]

But everyone’s gunnery sucked in those days, especially before the invention of Dreadnoughts. One look at the gunnery during the Spanish-American War should prove the point. The Japanese gunnery at the battle of Tsushima was an exception to the rule...

[@xerty5502]

@@TraditionalAnglican i acualy think it was not quite as bad as you think. something like acurate range finding was hitting wide spread deployment in this time period. Using russia and it's largely incompetent unprofesional aristocratic officer core and the perpetually fund starved US navy (going to leave comments on quality of US officers of the period to some one with some acualy information) and what is left of spains navy. Are not exactly bench marks on what a profesional well trained and drilled crew might have accomplished

[@TraditionalAnglican]

Ian Foster - 2 of the best-trained well-equipped Navies of the WW I era were the British Grand Fleet & the German High Seas Fleet, yet the Germans scored hits with only 3.46% of the large caliber rounds they fired, and the British scored hits with only 2.20% of their large caliber rounds during the Battle of Jutland. weaponews.com/weapons/18811-the-accuracy-of-the-fire-in-the-jutland-battle-part-1.html

[@xerty5502]

@@TraditionalAnglican not sure world war 1 is the correct comparison ranges had been greatly extended though to be fare so were ranges for the major battles of the russio japanese war. If these ships were engaging from the ranges the con entional wisdom of the time thought appropriate then i am guessing more profesipnal navy's probly preformed better but thats just my guess if yhese are the more extended ranges for the time that the major battles of the Russo Japanese war acualy syaryed at then it is a lot less bad given that the royal navy thought the acuracy was sub par there is a reasonble chance it was. Again this is all conjecture as i do not have any hard data beyond what was presented on this dogger bank incident. Nor do i have data on average royal navy gunnery performance in the late pre dreadnaught era. Now that my opinon is out tbere I will leave further comment to those with the sourcing to stomp all over my opinion unless by some mircle i am more right then wrong 😁

[@darrellsmith4204]

Revisited this gem today, it's just as fantastic as it was 3 years ago..

[@HMN134]

And more relevant than ever

[@Xeno426]

I can't help feeling bad for Rozhestvensky. He had a bad temper, but holy hell I can't blame him. Being the only competent commander in the Russian Navy would lead anyone to rage.

[@Belsen85]

I decide to complete the list of the destroyers names translations: «Буйный» - Buyniy - Vigorous «Бедовый» - Bedoviy - Reckless «Бравый» - Braviy - Сourageous «Быстрый» - Bysrtiy - Rapid «Блестящий» - Blestyashchiy - Splendid «Безупречный» - Bezuprechniy - Blameless «Бодрый» - Bodriy - Vivacious «Грозный» - Grozniy - Terrible «Громкий» - Gromkiy - Roaring «Прозорливый» - Prozorliviy - Perspicacious «Пронзительный» - Pronzitel’niy - Striking «Резвый» - Rezviy - Frisky

[@kyokyodisaster4842]

Well, at least they thought they where hot stuff...

[@The_Modeling_Underdog]

That was a fine bunch. Except for the a-hole that rammed a battleship.

[@norfangl3480]

I find it ironic how Grozniy translates to terrible

[@CrystalKingdomGeneral4942]

@@The_Modeling_Underdog Hey, if you ask me, when that ship's crew found out about how the voyage and battle went, they'd probably feel like it was a miracle that they had to stay behind.

[@PaperclipClips]

I saw a video a while back saying something to the effect that the word “terrible” carried a slightly different connotation back then; that the word was more closely associated with “terror” blueing those days (as opposed to “bad”, or “awful” like it is now) which, coincidentally, was also apparently the intended meaning to the moniker “Ivan the Terrible”.

[@bkjeong4302]

Arguably the most hilarious and worst naval disaster of all time. Re: the exotic pets, the Russians also got a goat that only ate paper, some street dogs, mongooses, a cow, etc.

[@falloutghoul1]

How much documentation not lost in the battle of Tsushima was eaten by that goat?

[@bkjeong4302]

falloutghoul1 Probably a lot.

[@kamchatka_survivor1959]

Snacks!

[@thelmagreenwood4525]

They were just Animal Rights Activists before their time! :)

[@cristianvillanueva8782]

A cow? Jesus christ......