When Loving Him is Hurting You with Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk | 02/18/2019

The success of every family hinges on a healthy relationship between a husband and wife. When conflict is not handled well, one spouse may suffer profound hurt feelings and resentment. Dr. Tim Clinton talks with clinical psychologist Dr. David Hawkins regarding the signs of emotional abuse and narcissistic problems that sometimes arise after saying “I do.”
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[@lesliemontagne6797]

I am grateful to God and both of you for presenting this interview. It is the clearest, most succinct explanation of what happens to spouses of narcissists. Married 41 years, I have separated and am healing. It's true that in the end, the abused has suffered dramatic and damaging trauma, blames herself for not being able to fix the marriage, slowly and literally goes crazy and ends up with Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome. I waited too long hoping things would change - they will not with someone who is on the very high end of the Narcissistic spectrum. I didn't know who I was and I was in complete denial. Felt paralyzed with fear, anger, and his lies. Oh his lying! Lying caused the worst damage of all; the constant deception is absolute crazymaking. The emotional and physical infidelity he continued to carry on and would not let go of destroyed us. If this is your life, and you can't point out what you see going on in your marriage in a calm but firm way, if your spouse denies or belittles your feelings even after counseling, it's time to walk.

[@sylvogt]

Not just walk. Run!!

[@tammyhead3882]

I just had to comment after hearing this video because it really hit home, almost 💯% description of my marriage! I didn't get a chance to view it until now but remember reading the title in my notifications & was just floored! To explain a little bit- My husband's behavior has been getting worse (as described in the video) the arguments are daily now & more abusive in nature. The day I read this title I had just experienced one the worst weekends in our marriage & was in shock, disbelief over realizing the condition my marriage is in wondering what to do next because I cant hide in my denial, not now!! When I read the title, it was a reflection of me & provided me an answer for how I had been feeling for so long now...... Thank you for helping families & God Bless!!!

[@theewarriorgoddess]

This is perfect. I have never been validated in this way. This is exactly what I think and feel about my estranged husband

[@wilshannoa9727]

This was an answer to my prayers. This hit the nail on the head. The church has to be a better voice on this. I struggled with submission but became more ok with Gods Will as I studied Gods Will. However how do you stay in submission to your husband if this is what is going on? I thought it was his trauma, Autism, or something. This just fit everything. I had been praying and seeking for an answer. I was only open to the possibility because it came from a Christian perspective. This is the only resource I found that even gives hope in possibility and healing. I known my husband since I was 14 and we have 3 kids. I was at a very dark place when we met and he gave me hope. If this is what is going on, I love my husband, and want a healthy relationship. I wish there was more information on finding counselors that know how to address this. If narcissist are that controlling and manipulative, what keeps them from charming a counselor and allowing true help. How do you help the kids heal and be safe or become the same thing?

[@yashamanning4712]

My (former) husband convinced my therapist I was lying to her. After that, my sessions with her changed. I felt like wasn't hearing me, helping me, anymore. I found a different therapist. She told me it was wrong for the husband to horn in on my counselling sessions. We should have found a completely different therapist to work with us as a couple. So, the (former) husband started insisting he meet my new therapist. I talked it over with her and she assured me I was her client, NOT the husband. That gave me confidence to tell the (former) husband we were still discussing it and I hadn't decided yet. I let him nag me, push me, bully me and I just kept putting him off.

[@eradutiu]

I wonder if cancer is one of the byproduct of the emotional trauma.

[@joellabrizuela1301]

This is on point . I married a alcoholic narcisstic man . I started having anxiety , depression , sick and almost hospitalized due to abuse . After 3 years being married I left with our child to get Saftey

[@xoxo-wt7dd]

Thank you so much what a great talk Dr.

[@foothillgirl7989]

My goodness this is my life. 25 years next month.

[@jessicalmcdaniel9878]

Mine too. 10 years. Married to a classic narcissist. Wondering if God loves him too, even though he hurts me

[@tuscandreams9861]

I'm so sorry!!! 😭

[@spiritualservicesgodbless7641]

As Christians, sometimes nasty people try to Target us. 🐦🦇🐾😮😕

[@lorivandiveer9616]

I didn't hear much about the passive aggressive wounded little boy in a man's body. You cannot count on them to exhibit obvious behaviors, so prayerful discernment is critical.

[@LadyBeeSting2434]

Amazing interview, amazing ministry work and insight.

[@joytorres2634]

Great talk!

[@delindasmith5993]

Dr Hawkins mentioned, narcissistic victim syndrome, but this program didn't go into this. Does he have any further resources on this? Thanks

[@millyesther9959]

Please pray for my children and that God will being them home soon.

[@Reesfun]

Is it possible that a covert narcissist can be subconsciously gaslighting?

[@cwne2172]

Theresa Higby Absolutely! Gaslighting is a big part of what narcissist do. When you feel like you’re going “crazy“ are you start second guessing yourself or you start questioning your memory. There are a lot of good KZbin videos on gaslighting specifically.

[@yashamanning4712]

Absolutely!

[@dcat2004]

Excellent interview!

[@extremeprosound]

Sam Vaknin is the best source for the real science on these disorders!

[@jamilaorellana526]

I think I’m the narcissist. I try not to be that way, but there is a part of me that believes I’m above everyone else. My husband calls me out on it and says I don’t listen to him or make him feel like other people are more important than he is. I don’t know why I do it... I just tune him out sometimes. It causes so much tension. I do have ADHD so I hope that’s all it is, but I can’t deny that I have a side of me that feels above him.

[@SuperCanonshooter]

Your honesty is very encouraging.. I also suffer with narcissistic behaviors but I've learned to identify the behaviors in myself and that helps me identify the narcissistic behaviors in others. I believe if narcissism was classified as a drug.. our society, Christian and non Christian alike, has the worst drug problem ever. It is such a clever liar. Always hides behind a self pride that believes you're doing everyone a favor by treating them rudely because "you're just being honest" or "you're just being yourself". It's so very cruel. In my opinion deep humility.. like absolute humiliation about your unloving behaviors are the only way to get rid of narcissistic struggles. I think it's worth it

[@RedVelvet236]

Thank you for being so honest. I like the fact that you believe you might be and admit to it. I believe acknowledgment and acceptance of our behavior or actions is the first step to freedom; exposing that monster within :)

[@RedVelvet236]

@@SuperCanonshooter Thank you too for sharing and being honest. God bless you.

[@pi772nty]

@@SuperCanonshooter wow! I do that, be rude to people because I think they should be smart enough to identify issues themselves! I've lost a lot of relationships because of it. Never really gave his a deep thought 🤔

[@rosemaryvanniekerk7467]

Thank you.

[@spiritualservicesgodbless7641]

This is what happened with my first boyfriend. We were on and off for two years, and he dumped me four times!!! He ended up going to rehab and he was into bars, drinking, drugs, cocaine, strippers and sex!!! He would woo me back over the phone and talk so Sweet, and then he always dumped me whenever I did not do as he asked. 😮😞😨🐪🐭🐖

[@brianmorales8169]

I am sorry to hear this. Some guys are good about telling ladys what they want to hear and then just do the opposite.

[@christinahimelick8903]

What book can I get or read

[@harlandfriendofgod6108]

"LOVE must Be Tough" is one of them; and also, any book by James Dobson on marriage; or Love & Respect by Eggerich (different guy)

[@pamelajorgensen419]

Exactly!!!

[@melissafoster9701]

Mine is jobless with no accomplishments 56 yrs old

[@Spiral.Dynamics]

18:28 21:00

[@extremeprosound]

DISAPPOINTED AND SURPRISED, Women are 50% of the stats on NPD. This vid should be remade and done properly!!!

[@extremeprosound]

19:00 now your promoting your other book fully focused on the health effects on “women” in NPD abusive relationships by “men” GTFOH

[@TheLamba444]

"You keep playing the victim, don't you?"

[@parispeony23]

16:32 23:10

[@extremeprosound]

DISAPPOINTED AND SURPRISED, Women are 50% of the stats on NPD. This vid should be remade and done properly!!!