The worst for me is when your connect runs out and you have no one else to get it from.
@loserchan23604 ай бұрын
Me at this current moment
@DailyTv223 ай бұрын
@@loserchan2360it’s a drought rn. Where are you at? Are you on fentanyl or H?
@natmad29685 жыл бұрын
I know EXACTLY what you guys are saying about withdraws and it suddenly leaving when about to get some. The mind is a powerful thing!!!
@stevecormier15142 жыл бұрын
Ya. So true and crazy. Because the dopamine in your brain heightens when your know your gonna grab
@SolidSiren2 жыл бұрын
100%. Others around me have noticed, oh WOW the minute u found a hookup you suddenly seem to feel fine
@hasanid.65435 жыл бұрын
I totally relate..your mind gets happy because it knows its gonna get its treat..lol
@uncouthLIyouth5 жыл бұрын
This is absolutely a real phenomenon. I wouldn't say I felt 100 percent well, but just knowing that I would not only get well but completely obliterated would put a little pep into my step, nose would stop running and the chills would dissipate a bit. On the the other hand I have times where I physically don't even know how I made it to the dealer. Sneezing uncontrollably, eyes watering with only the excitement of scoring to get me through. Chasing around guys named "OG" "Lil GG" "Low Key G" all around the hood. You get to be such a degenerate that it actually amuses you how much of a train wreck your life has become. Enjoying this channel immensely. I have been sober for over three years now and this channel is inspiring me. It's important to laugh at how dysfunctional you were as an addict. Obviously you have to take it seriously as well but for me the dark humor and being able to relate helps me put things in perspective. Keep doing your thing, Derek if you wanna see a movie that really nails the nuances of being an addict like this video check out "a thousand junkies" on Amazon prime and thank me later for the laughs and above all being able to RELATE and know your not alone!
@stephenstuckey Жыл бұрын
So true man. Its a trip. Suddenly feel better and u dont even have it yet. But u know its comin......the anticipation is the worst.
@larquinn10907 ай бұрын
So true bro well said truth , keep up the hard work 💯👍🍀
@EricBZink5 жыл бұрын
You're awesome man and together we can keep making a difference! Love the shares and how many they help!
@FARecordsJF5 жыл бұрын
Hey Lambert keep up the videos. It definitely helps me since I've only been off heroin for 4 months. I don't go to meetings so sharing here with y'all helps
@shaymylar46935 жыл бұрын
Message me on ig hiighh__ 2 underscores. I've been clean off heroin for 3 years!
@FARecordsJF5 жыл бұрын
@@shaymylar4693 I appreciate the offer brah but I only use Instagram for real life acquaintances
@quintonkelley17145 жыл бұрын
FARecords lool denied
@CaliforniaLovinAndDrummin5 жыл бұрын
Shay Mylar @torstendane clean 8 days!
@bailey46505 жыл бұрын
When your dealer is taking a long time to respond so you start doing good deeds hoping karma will be on your side 😂 I'm almost 2 weeks sober and just the thought of breaking the length of soberness has kept me from using and has inspired me to continue on a path of self improvement. I completely relate with the whole giddiness feeling when you have the ability to get the drug. Right after using it the happiness goes away and you're only left with guilt.
@jen_0235 жыл бұрын
Omg yes! He was always up by 8am, but slept in sometimes. I'd send texts saying going to McDonalds you want breakfast? He knew damn well I couldn't eat anything and was bullshitting. But it worked. I've been clean 5 months now from banging dilaudid.
@jessiec.91693 жыл бұрын
Yup.. Everytime a dope dealer isn't picking up or answering I immediately think back to all the calls/texts i ignored when I was high....n i would start calling them all back to reverse the karma!!! Haha... Yes addicts know n understand this far fetched way of thinking, just trying to do anything to reverse karma n make the dope man "hear his phone" to come through for a front.
@ai28512 жыл бұрын
How you doing these days? Clean
@jennineadams43905 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for keeping your story alive! I have a brother fighting heroin addiction and I am always trying to support those that keep head strong and fighting on. I hope you keep it up, you have a lot of supporters. Thank You!!!
@matthewsprung74885 жыл бұрын
This is why i watch your uploads. Could not relate more to almost everything you guys talk about. Whenever dude man used to hmu and say "come on," its almost as if my addiction would be cured in my head. Unless i was already physically sick which would be 90 percent of the time, i was good in my head the minute i got that confirmation. Goes to show how real addiction is for different people. Its a great feeling to know youre not the only one out there
@MormonMustang_5 жыл бұрын
I remember getting a buzz crushing my oxy before the wonderful snort that makes your eyes water lol and getting buzzed just pulling into the liquor store parking lot! 7 months clean and sober
@monicagomez99845 жыл бұрын
My addiction was V's or P's and EVERY DAY it was "ok, imma so many of these and keep a few back for 2mor and that's how it's gonna be"! But in reality it was by noon I had taken at least half of what I had gotten so I would try to slow down but when the evening time came, I wants to feel just as good as I did that morning so MY MIND would be, ok, F-it I can just go get more in the morning. And it was an every day struggle. Especially like you said, since my dealer(s) slept til noon and I'm up at 6am over here feeling like death! I am now 18months clean and it is the best feeling in the world to not have to chase that any more!!
@doriss61845 жыл бұрын
Here in Austria in the early 2000's all drug dealers were not speaking german and their english was limited too but they ALWAYS said "5 minutes" and you were all happy and 5 calls later it was still "5 minutes" but they were getting angry but you were illegally parking at the subway station freaking out. And if other "fitting" persons came by you looked at them the way you did with drugdealers and were willing to buy from anyway. Man I don't miss that part at all. Well now 10 years well actually 12 I don't miss anything from it. Great Video Keep it up
@CMoore85395 жыл бұрын
DorisS61 Congratulations to You! That’s Awesome!!!
@doriss61845 жыл бұрын
@@CMoore8539 thanks. I appreciate it.
@stellalush45473 жыл бұрын
@@doriss6184 Bless you Doris.
@graeme30235 жыл бұрын
I totally relate.. I would often find that after leaving the doctor's office and walking the 50 yards or so to the pharmacy, my withdrawal symptoms would start to abate. Then when the pharmacist handed me the little bag with the pills in it my symptoms had 95% gone... All before I had taken even a single pill. Just shows how much our physical symptoms are controlled by our brain. Just knowing that relief is imminent is enough for the brain to tell the body that you're feeling better.
@46monkeyes5 жыл бұрын
Graeme - But didn’t you ever get nervous that the pharmacy would be out of stock?!?
@graeme30235 жыл бұрын
@@46monkeyes no not really as that never happened. They always had them in stock and in the unlikely event that they didn't, I would just have driven round the corner to the next pharmacy and they would have them...
@JayJay-ut6zg3 жыл бұрын
That is 100% true and crazy true ...been there so many times
@iftikharahmad16003 жыл бұрын
I dont know how sólid stuff is there in Ú.S.withdrawal ís related hów strong stuff ú usé and for how )onger means period u r taking it.
@chloietabor80435 жыл бұрын
Love this! Good to put this out there! My brother died of a overdose. I know it would of been better if he had people like you putting yourself out there so that he didn’t feel so alone. I struggle with things myself. Maybe not heroin but understand and struggle with addiction. Keep it up.
@jewelhaines88425 жыл бұрын
I'm very sorry for your loss. I pray it gets better. ❤
@robertworton23945 жыл бұрын
Guys I am STRUGGLING trying to get off suboxone! It’s the depression and suicidal thoughts that get me scared that I always get back on so I don’t lose my job or relationships
@bibicr10015 жыл бұрын
everyday is a struggle man, i dont know who you are but i wish you all the best. God bless you.
@46monkeyes5 жыл бұрын
Since anxiety is such a major player, I think if a person who is truly tolerant to the drug, is given a placebo, it will reduce the anxiety part of the withdrawal but not stop any physical symptoms.
@uncouthLIyouth5 жыл бұрын
This seems like the rational explanation
@ai28512 жыл бұрын
True. But I feel after you realize you're not feeling high, the mental will kick In
@46monkeyes2 жыл бұрын
@@ai2851 Absolutely
@AccordingtoJexi5 жыл бұрын
This video was sooooo relatable!! Glad your trip across country went well. Love seeing you and Ashten sharing your experiences together! 💜💜
@michaelspoto87205 жыл бұрын
it's crazy how the power of the mind works. when youre sick but you know you're gonna go get some you get hyped up and your symptoms almost go away. they never went away fully of me but they became manageable and i'd be in a good mood.
@KandicePolut5 жыл бұрын
Man.....the chase is just EXHAUSTING! SOOOO GRATEFUL FOR YEARS OF RECOVERY!!!
@sherrihinton85675 жыл бұрын
Its always that way. At least for me. I pray never again.
@seekingfreedom90205 жыл бұрын
When I was getting Suboxone strips off of the street, the second my dealer would say come get them instantly my sickness would go away!!! You guys are 100% correct. I don't really have that issue anymore because I get them from my doctor now but I remember that feeling
@m8alsant5 жыл бұрын
Love you bro going through the withdraws right now. Your such a big motivation for me. Appreciate you so much ! coming all the way from Hawaii !!!
@46monkeyes5 жыл бұрын
Alan Santos The irony of hell in paradise. Keep pushing. If you intend to get clean, just know every minute of pain brings you that much closer to the end of withdrawal. JUST DO IT 💯👍🏼
@m8alsant5 жыл бұрын
@@46monkeyes hey M Stephen's thank you so much for the support i just had the birth of my first child. Which is a real motivation. Going on 3 day withdraw and have to take care of baby.Its so know that there are people out there going through the samething wanting to change there lives.
@emilyanderson67445 жыл бұрын
This is my fourth day for me,!!
@CMoore85395 жыл бұрын
Alan Santos You Can Do This.♥️
@CMoore85395 жыл бұрын
Emily Anderson Keep on keeping on.♥️
@9008mm5 жыл бұрын
2 hours equals 4 🤣🤣💀💀🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️ The most truest shit I've ever heard! 😩😩🙄
@shaymylar46935 жыл бұрын
I get this video so much. I did needles for 3 years. You need to go through it to know how it feels
@paulbboyle37145 жыл бұрын
I know exactly what you guys are saying. Great video Derek and Ashten.Thanks guys! 👍🙏
@DustyTowne3 жыл бұрын
It breaks my heart that you lost your friend. Rest in Peace
@shaymylar46935 жыл бұрын
I'm 3 years clean too but with the help of methadone !!! Cant wait to get off methadone. My daughter had to be on morphine cuz my doctor advised me not to get off methadone. Breaks my heart. Shes fine now
@OvercookedSpacegetti7 ай бұрын
How are you doing these days?
@cumminspower15085 жыл бұрын
This pinned the tail on the donkey for me 😂😂 ! Haven’t been to a meeting in a while I need to go and I went to rehab for Oxys almost 2 years ago I stayed clean for a year and a half I’m still doing good but these past few weeks I relapsed and so I’ve been watching videos to get me motivated and I’m about to start doing my Kratom taper because I don’t want to be dependent on it . Thanks for your videos man 👍🏼
@biggur55 жыл бұрын
God knows how many months of my life I have spent waited for "kavon &co" !!!!
@gypsydaisy2 жыл бұрын
Excellent question! Years ago I had a boyfriend who replaced my meds with complete fake look-alikes. I wasn’t feeling the euphoria but I DID NOT GET SICK. It was so perfectly done that it is still unbelievable that the placebo effect was strong enough to keep me from feeling physically sick. Unfortunately- the emotional void got me after a couple of months.
@FitzSchlitz2 жыл бұрын
How are you doing lately? Positive vibes, love and blessings!💪✌️❤️
@sarahsvetlana9383 жыл бұрын
We have the exact same addiction patterns. Crazy hearing it back. Thank you for this
@lorie-harleyflinchum47265 жыл бұрын
I HATED that my life had gone from waking up each day...throwing the covers off and full of energy and excitement for the day... To... My very first thought being “do I have something?”...and if I did, I’d get up and have to make myself better before I could do ANYTHING...and if I didn’t?!?! I would HATE MYSELF...and ANY thoughts of living life that day were squashed. And I’d lay there and start scheming of what I could do to get what I need. That is NO WAY TO LIVE THIS LIFE!!!! Still working on those very first thoughts of the day....but have more “tools in my toolbox “ now to work through those moments. It’s getting better! Love you guys and so thankful for voices that understand 😊
@hibaali37972 жыл бұрын
You basically take the words OUT OF ALL OUR MOUTH. AND WE ALL UNDERSTAND YOU WORD BY WORD. This is excellent recovery. Thank you soooo much from my heart.
@randyw40165 жыл бұрын
I think it would help mentally but only for a short time because once someone realized the high isn't there or on its way so to speak. When your an addict you know the difference between your Drug and a substitute. That's been my experience at least
@tarakatryan85905 жыл бұрын
Im quiting tomorrow, so ive been saying for a year now. Tomorrow never comes. Hopfully it will come soon. Need prayers.
@YusuphYT5 жыл бұрын
one day you’ll be better ❤️
@tarakatryan85905 жыл бұрын
Crip thank you ill get there, very soon my day will come x
@erinntay5 жыл бұрын
TaraKat Ryan how are you these days?
@tarakatryan85905 жыл бұрын
@@erinntay i went to a detox facility, im clean, i cant believe it. Thanks for thinking of me. Hope your doing good too xxx
@jewelhaines88425 жыл бұрын
@@tarakatryan8590 That's wonderful! I'm SO happy for you!! ❤
@zippoflame6583 жыл бұрын
As a dealer/ addict, addicts are annoying as hell lol. Texting you 20x at 7 in the morning!! I never had to do that because I bought a lot, never got less than 50 blues. So I’d call before I ran out but I know how it feels to wait when you’re gettin sick! Man that call feels so good when they say “yo I’m outside” you want to run out there but I always play it cool and might even take a minute so I don’t seem desperate. Never show dealers how desperate you are and never tell them “your the only dealer I have” they will raise the price or make you wait long as hell because you have no other option. If you want them there quick here’s a trick. When you have some just call them and ask for something small but tell them to be quick because you have to leave. You know they won’t be there on time so when they finally get there just say “I left bro, I’ll call you tomorrow “ in their head you have another dealer and they will try to get their quick next time so they don’t lose out. Don’t be rude with it, just act like you had to be somewhere at a certain time. There is a art to dealing with dealers lol, don’t be the annoying addict and don’t come short all the time. It must suck being a addict when your dealer is lazy as shit, my connect will tell you 4 and show up at 9 but I kno that so I call him way in advance.
@natmad29685 жыл бұрын
To answer y'all question. That has happened to me personal. I was on oxy 10's and my connect only had vicodin. I still took it. I had too. I was desperate. It didn't make me feel high. It just made the sickness go away for a few.
@darlamckinnon45463 ай бұрын
That's what I'm doing now with kratom on 7 grams a day and trying to go lower. I'm not getting high, not aiming to get high.
@84ames5 жыл бұрын
When I had the bag in my hand, rolling it in my palm I was straight, gnawing sensation totally gone. Crazy
@FloTrixter5 жыл бұрын
I'm just two days off my stuff dude ... N this is really helpful ... Hope I get off it ... This sux so much damn. Thanx for making these
@FloTrixter3 жыл бұрын
@K Ker yeah b I'm totally off it now yo, thanx fo askin
@stuzz35113 жыл бұрын
Rest in peace Ashten ❤
@rockinroberta99255 жыл бұрын
Yep been there done that. Ugh Glad your road trip went well! :)
@dann1cus6313 жыл бұрын
There have been methadone clinics in the past who have done secret detox, where the last months they are literally just giving them the flavoring made up in the methadone. And it has been said to work. All though when people find out they haven't been dosing they instantly start to feel withdrawal symptoms. Says a lot about the brain and how addiction and anxiety go hand in hand..
@chasepickett7295 жыл бұрын
Hey Man, glad to see you’re doing so well both in life and the success on YT, knew it would come. I’m chase (ivy clothing), doing a bit better these days, not much but it’s progress
@PROUDTOBEANAMERICAN555 жыл бұрын
“Im quitting tommorow!” I fuckin died.
@TheRoh0215 жыл бұрын
I think it would diminish the withdrawals at the beginning, but as soon as the hour passes by and the person finds out it was a placebo he is gonna go into even heavier withdrawal.
@jaclynm71225 жыл бұрын
Damn this is so true. I felt better just seeing the pills or having the prescription bottle in my hand. It was like I could breathe again. Totally get it.
@dboybooks27395 жыл бұрын
Great content brother I’m an addicts from Canada 🇨🇦 been clean if fentanyl for just over a year now life’s took a whole 360 in good ways and bad ways but as I trust the process I will continue to see change man love this content I can 100% agree with what you guys first spoke about instantly the withdrawal symptoms go away is so true wow this is crazy when I was down to my last point or two or three even the symptoms would kick in I believe a big part of it is psychological and physical when it come to withdrawals from opioids
@dearmeecha13105 жыл бұрын
Dboy Books lost my sister in law 2 years ago to fentanyl. Good job getting clean 🙏❤️
@juonetar5 жыл бұрын
@@dearmeecha1310 god bless you❤️😔
@dboybooks27395 жыл бұрын
Dear Meecha my condolences yes it’s terrible I’ve lost count on how many childhood friends fentanyl has taken from their families prayers out to you god bless
@CMoore85395 жыл бұрын
Thank you both for another Excellent Video!!!😎♥️✌️
@hugo1fan125 жыл бұрын
so much respect for you man,i keep falling back still watching your videos hoping ill get stronger one day
@jenniferspengler46885 жыл бұрын
My mouth used to water and I'd feel mild nausea every month when I would hit up CVS for my oxycodone script. I ENJOYED the mild nausea. It was a "high nausea" if that makes sense. Whether I was detoxing or not, I was "high" by the time the CVS pharmacy bag was in my hands! So I totally get it.
@JosephDarby-n9p4 ай бұрын
Thank You both..!!!!These videos are really helpful to a close friend or family member who has the addiction. So, as a loved one with addiction…. I have seen my loved one have the same problem with his “guy”. I also see the struggle my loved one really goes thru to get the medicine. Thank You… I really thought that…. I was the one seeing this happening…. But, listening to you…. Help me see and understand my loved one more..!!!
@ghendrix23222 жыл бұрын
I always thought it was so crazy how when I ran out of pills and when I was on the hunt for money or to see which connect had what I wanted…the very MOMENT I knew I was set and I was otw to go get the drugs I would feel better the whole ride there. It was so crazy. And when it’s the opposite and they’re not answering the phone or they’re bs’ing you and giving you the run around or not answering the phone that made the Symptoms increase. Y’all are so on point and I’m relating to every last word you guys are saying. It’s crazy!!!
@trishmazzei49385 жыл бұрын
Yeah.i was always the .."I'll worry about it tomorrow" kinda person More accurately: I'll fucking figure it out
@danadawson97905 жыл бұрын
If you know you about to get it soon actually soon then it's like Christmas morning you'll all hyped
@cassileigh5 жыл бұрын
addiction is so evil. it will beat you down so damn bad..
@benkurtz17733 жыл бұрын
Then he finally calls you back and says 30 more minutes. But when you see him in his car approach you you feel better.
@julietacosta25305 жыл бұрын
Derek, you explain the enslavement of opiate addiction (and just addiction in general) SO well. I'm im the midst of it, and your videos give me encouragement and hope. I've been on ALL ends of the spectrum with opiate addiction and alcoholism. I've kicked cold turkey so many times. Opiate and alcohol at the same time. I really agree with your abstinence theory. However, I'm not opposed to those who chose medicinal assistance. It really comes down what works for you and your willingness to change the vicious cycle and lifestyle that's killing you and your spirit and zest for life. I know that you may not see my comment, but I think you're very brave and your gusto to help others in active addiction and those in early recovery is admirable. Just, thank you. You're doing the right thing. Keep it up brother ❤
@jessiec.91693 жыл бұрын
Omggsh i still have chills.. The quote "lets just do it all im quitting tomorrow" When tomorrow comes n u wake up you immediately regret everything n forget all about the whole quitting thing.... & yes whatever time a drug dealer tells you you gotta double it....! I also hate when i assume when itll arrive and plan my day around that and it comes early by surprise like my husband comes home with it and I didn't know every step of the play to get myself hyped up that its otw.. I feel like im still sick after doing it because the disappointment is so great because I didn't get the hyped up "its OTW buzz" before I actually did it. & I am the extreme type...never having enouggh to make me well in the AM...
@Ryanhelpmeunderstand4 жыл бұрын
You look so much healthier bro, wow... congrats my guy!
@nickydaviesnsdpharms30847 ай бұрын
I'm glad you're covering this niche topic because I have talked about this very thing in my videos on my channel too, although iv'e never seen another channel discuss this. I describe it as that feeling when you're waiting, seems to drag for you but not for the dealer, so if you keep ringing up to check how long, it annoys them cos time isn't dragging for them. Then that feeling you get when either they call you to say it's all good now, or you call them and they tell you it's good, almost feels as good as the drug it's self, as I know you're aware, what with the Dopamine release in the brain in response to that behavioral cue. Lastly: once the dealer says come round, it doesn't matter how long you've been waiting, could be all day, but the bad feeling disappears on the spot which always makes me laugh when I think about it. What you said about not being able to save some for the morning, resonated with me as I was the same. I believe it has to do with especially in your teens, your prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed yet until 25 and it's responsible for forward planning, risk assessment etc so it makes sense. Derek what yous were pondering about what if you took a fake pill but it looked real? I would say due to how powerful the brain is and the placebo effect, it would go a lot of the way to making you feel better, but probably not fully. Then suppose you discovered it was fake later, you'd go into instant withdrawal
@nuggetdoozy78315 жыл бұрын
Gosh damn everything you guys Said and have been saying so far is so spot on I can’t even lol... so happy to be free from all this bs
@bartoszzajac11555 жыл бұрын
You're so inspiering dube i love you :)
@andymunch17595 ай бұрын
Great video, I can totally relate. Thank you guys!!
@kareena38385 жыл бұрын
Totally relate.
@Thehoddes10265 жыл бұрын
I’d clear a 12 step staircase in two leaps 😩😩😂😂. Ohhh how I don’t miss any of that shit
@katiesandin79053 жыл бұрын
Shit no, don't miss that BS at all!
@jewelhaines88425 жыл бұрын
HAHa! This brings back so many memories!! I used to not have a phone, so, I would have to walk up to the gas station pay phone and call the Dope man, he would say "I'm on my way" then, I would worry.. Thinking I was gonna miss him, cause I had to walk back to my Apartment, I was too sick to run, so I would fast walk. I would get home, and start worrying I missed him, THEN, I would debate should I go back to the pay phone or wait!!?? Oh GOD, I used to HATE that!! Now.. 8 years clean, I can laugh! I also had a sick ritual of shooting up.. 😳😫😁😆 Oh yeah, no matter how much I got that day.. I would swear I would save a wake up, but, I never did.. I hated that!!!
@dustyundercoverlocation9115 жыл бұрын
I get it 💯% great video lads... RESPECT..
@carissajaneabernathy11805 жыл бұрын
Omg I remember feeling just like your description of this is point on! Ugh I take Suboxone. It really sucks because it doesn't get me high but I need it. I go though this any time I'm out. I went three months and I was still in pain and craving. I went back to the doctor and got back on Suboxone. For how long I don't know.
@lynnsintention5722 Жыл бұрын
It is easier to hold out when you have a definite time frame. That said, the anticipation is an addiction in itself...The happy feeling that comes when you are on your way
@bloodandsweat1115 жыл бұрын
This was the case with me full year clean this week feel better and fitter than ever but yea the second I got in the car to pick it up man the feeling and when I acc picked it up the serotonin boost knowing I was headin home to do that shit was crazy but that's how crazy that shit gets you and the positions you end up in , it's not worth any second of it, sometimes I can't believe I was in that position of heroin addiction but man life is amazing my kids are amazing my girlfriend is amazing and my mind and body is constantly healing and that's the best high to have but understanding where you have came from to get to where you are and the humbleness that you gain it's totally overwhelming in the best way ever. Amazing videos man keep up the word and positivity your doing amazing . But every bit of this video I'm sure would make sense to 99 percent of people with addiciton
@Everydayprojects3653 жыл бұрын
This shows how mental this is,the physical parts not as bad as addicts make it but the mental battle is where they lose almost every time.mental illness is the real pandemic and it’s not just drug addicts suffering. Psychological health is more important than we think understand yourself and you’re mind.
@karacollins79454 жыл бұрын
I was on methadone for 5 years for back pain. I got kicked out of PM, was forced kicked out and gave percs to wein down.. I just stopped taking it all because I didn’t want to run out of pills. I knew where it would lead.. so I said hell with it, let’s do this shit.. the chills are the absolute worst.. the skin burning and you feel terrible!!! I am now a month off methadone and like maybe three weeks off percs I feel like my brain is literally off.. I have a headache constantly.. I see everything clearly I can see how numb I was before and how auto mode I was.. it’s sad.. I also slept all the time.. now I’m bored as hell because I slept.. I feel amped up... and I have no energy.. how long does this he’ll go on? I didn’t want to be an addict I only think about the pills because I know it makes this all stop.. so I see now I was one.. and I was high.. I hate the way I feel.. I hate every second.. anyone else feel like this??
@shea_river7 ай бұрын
the "come on" text . i still daydream about seeing that pop up on my phone
@MelissaLuvsSurgio5 жыл бұрын
Giving someone fake stuff will do nothing. Maybe mentally, for about 2 mins. After that it’s panic, anger, annoyance and back to the phone!! I’m so grateful I will never go through that nonsense ever again. If anyone reads this- I know you don’t believe there’s any other way to live. I didn’t either. God works in mysterious ways and long story short- there are so many ways to live without constantly being on a mission & miserable. Stay safe out there & know there are people who don’t forget where they came from and keep you in their thoughts and prayers.
@MyBenzoHell5 жыл бұрын
ooo i still got a little tingle of stimulation when i heard you say about the blood going into the syringe.. instant gratification... glad i got 143 days of even methadone now! time flys and i don't miss the PAIN EVERY FUKING DAY
@mahamoodallynassir65853 жыл бұрын
For me i w8 till im very sick to take it but having it into my hand does not make me feel better it just make me happy to have it but does not make me well physically
@MelissaLuvsSurgio5 жыл бұрын
This was so funny, but at the time it was the farthest thing from funny. I can relate!! Thank God I haven’t had to deal with that exhausting nonsense in many years. I don’t want to say how long because I’ll give my age away 😂. I know some drugs make you age so much. Mine “preserved” me. What a miserable existence.
@stellalush45473 жыл бұрын
No Shit.
@drivethru18355 жыл бұрын
Great topics. I’m trying to get clean, day 3 still and the key is tricking your brain. Ever wonder why your dreams feel so real sometimes, like you feel the emotions, is cuz your brain can’t tell the difference from reality. I pop vitamin C throughout the day, trying to trick my brain to think it’s opiates. This is my method that has been working for me.
@ogfabio34173 жыл бұрын
Bro when you’re withdrawing and then head to dope boys house the withdrawals stop. I completely related to that one
@GoofyGufz3 жыл бұрын
19:00 I want to share my own experience, i was addicted to codein for like 2 years (at first it was substitution from doctor), one time my office sent me to another city for like 3 months, i was run out my codein and the symptoms like heroin but lighter, i can't sleep, can't stay still for 5 min. you know what i'm talking about lol. Usually my wife on time sending it to me but i forgot why at that time its late. after 2 days not sleep but really drowsy, sleepy, tired, cold, couldn't stay still and 5 mins felt like 5 hours finally the codein arrived, and all my symptoms cured. But that night my wife told me that she were replacing the content of the capsule with vitamins for like 1 FRICKING YEAR but in my mind its codein so if i'm not ate that "codein" the cold turkey kicked in too, its really weird how our brain works, After my wife revealed that secret i just clean without subs or anything. Sorry for broken english :)
@mollydavis50793 жыл бұрын
If ya know, ya know. Lol 💯. I've been clean for 2 years now. But all of this rings true. My DOC was opanas too. What an awful life that was. I thank God every single day that I'm still alive, and that I'm clean and sober and actually HAPPY. Thanks so much for what you do!!!!
@gutbomb76175 жыл бұрын
So dammed true, mush. I've been rattling out my arse at times, petrified at the thought my guy won't come through. Anxiety through the roof, cannot concentrate on a thing apart from scoring and then, bam! It's in my hand and I compose myself and on some occasions the withdrawals have pretty much subsided and I won't even use straight away because I realise I'm not actually that ill and 99% of the symptoms are purely psychosomatic. But regardless I take it very quickly after and the whole insane cycle starts again... Derek, Tim Johnson and Ryan Donnelly RIP have really pushed me through this time. Just keep on with these videos. Unfortunately there are so many people out there who need this inspiration and cameraderie... At the beginning of this year I almost gave into sister morphine. I felt that I loved her sweet caresses far too much to ever say goodbye. Especially on a permanent basis. I've been clean off smack for 8 days now, the longest I've gone in 5 years. I haven't even felt any intense cravings. But I'm sure theyre in the post but I'll deal with that when it comes.. But 8 days to a non-addict must seem ridiculous but abstaining for 24 hours, to an addict can feel like abstaining for 8 lifetimes. Anyway, what I wanted to say to you, Derek is that for me, at this stage in my life and addiction the multiple relapses, the thing that has helped me watching your videos recently, is not so much what you say - I mean no offence at that either. What I mean is everyone who does your type of videos have pretty much the same thing to say regarding how the withdrawals feel, the importance of severing ties with all your old 'using mates' etc. No, what I've noticed in you recently and I watched your videos when you were High and withdrawing too, is now at this stage in your recovery how happy you seem to be. It's almost like your addiction was a petty vice long ago and you've just grown out of it. Of course it's not as easy as that but you must have much more confidence in your ability to stay clean after 3 and half years than you did at 3 weeks... It was only today and it is only day 8 for me, so not expecting miricales but I could actually see myself being happy again without opiates. There were times in the past when I couldn't even imagine being remotely happy without it. I thought the damage had been done but NEVER think like I did. That's how the drug defeats you. I went for a walk today, I had the energy to and I did it only because it was a hot beautiful day and I wanted to see the world again. And I actually felt it. The most encouraging part is that this slow feeling of vitality that is coming back to me is only going to grow as time goes on. It's a cliché but it really is like being reborn and seeing the world through fresh lenses. One last point...it maybe different for others but I had to truly begin to despise not only the drug but what it was doing to me and those around me. My relationships, all that jazz . Fortunately I didn't hit rock bottom completely before this last detox but I do vehemently hate it. And as addicts we have to. What is there to like about it anyway? I certainly could never respect it again. The way I see it, there is only so many times your going to do something you actually hate. And for me there were plenty of reasons to hate it. Two good friends taken too young. Not being able to play with my daughter, cause I'm too high or too ill. The thousands spent... To see my ex, waste away from a beauty to an absolute fiend. What is there to like???.... So hate that shit, spit on its black pungent aurua, walk away and go live the life you know you really want... I ramble, but this video hit the nail on the head. Much love from the United Kingdom. And keep on keeping on, guys. Peace 🌅
@newageproductions53005 жыл бұрын
I know exactly what you mean. As soon as you know you're getting the drug for sure, you're withdrawal Goes away. Just the fact that you know it's a for sure thing gets you feeling good.
@FARecordsJF5 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad I got off my fentanyl-cut heroin (fentanyl confirmed by lab). Every single night was the same. Sweating like a mofo, having to wash my bedsheets like 3 times a week. Super restless, I would walk from my bed to the TV room, watch like 15 minutes of MLB Network, then go back to bed trying to find a comfortable spot but giving up after 15 minutes. Repeat 100x for hours until I got my money (my dad would send me cash every morning at 5 am). Maaaan I was always so elated when I took the cash out of the ATM. But I would still eat all the red lights on my way to the hood cause I could only think about not being sick. I was so used to running the red lights that one morning there was another car in the road (normally there weren't any by this time in the morning) and I almost fucking t-boned him...oh and the chills were so bad that I always had a hoodie + the heat of my car all the way up. Anyways I would cop 2 bags of heroin. And right there in the parking I'd snort half a bag and oh baby the relief was almost instant. I loved the "taste" of it in my nostrils. I'd pull out of the hood and like 15 seconds after I snorted I'd start sweating because the chills were gone so I had to turn down the heat setting on my car. That was the major signal that my sickness was gone -- when my body temperature returned to normal and I could switch to a normal cool A/C setting. Edit: oh on one thing that I can't relate is about your drug dealer not responding to you. Here in Puerto Rico it's different. There are no heroin dealers. There are residential projects and they all sell drugs, and they're 24/7. You can visit at any moment during the day or night and get your fix. Having to depend on a dealer for my heroin would've fucking sucked, fuck that! I guess that's one advantage that an addict has in Puerto Rico lmaooo
@goldjoe5 жыл бұрын
O man. Im from Bayamón, PR and the havin it here 24/7 in any residential made it so easy to say im not going to get more and finishing it all before going to bed and going at 1-2am to a residential (caserío) to get more to sleep and have something for the morning and most of the time doing it all and not saving a thing for the morning waking up and having to go to the residentials to buy more. Man always from residential to residential trying not to be sick. I lost a lot of great oportunities and almost lost my family. Fuck that shit, I aint goint back to that shit. The thing is here you can get a 3 dollar stamp if u are almost out of money, 3, 6, 10 here in Bayamon. ¿De que pueblo eres hermano y estas limpio como yo ahora mismo? Take care an Derek i watch your videos since your day 5 video man keep it up. O and i smoke weed that i almost always buy at the residentials and see the H stamps always in the ziplock and at first was hard (when i saw it it gave me the hiccups and i got all nervous but not i handle it very well cause i hated being sick all the time when money ran out and i was fat and ended looking like a skeleton. thats no life) espero que estes limpio hermano (hope youre clean now bro) take care.
@jeanlaureano82533 жыл бұрын
I know exactly what you mean been through it so many times I just recently tried to get clean I was on day 3 and I just couldn't take the withdrawal anymore I had called my buddy to pick something up for me and I was already starting to get better before it even got in my hands. I used to be addicted to Percocets and now I'm addicted to dope and I try to get clean and I just can't do it sometimes when I'm alone my wife is asleep and my kids are asleep even though I'm high I stay up all night crying because I really want to get clean but it's just so hard...
@ai28512 жыл бұрын
I feel you bro. But you're not powerless.!
@HmlsDarkOps3 жыл бұрын
Me and my buddy always talk about that. It's crazy. If you have that drug in your hand everything disappears.
@nazdalaan5 жыл бұрын
If you’re new look after drugs doesn’t inspire don’t knw what will. Keep up bro.
@buckwild99535 жыл бұрын
Lmao ....i can totally relate bro 15 yrs on opioids before i could stop...been clean bout 2yrs now ..for some reason its taking me along time mentally to get back to where i was but im gettin there...the physical symtoms for me was about 1 month give or take the first 2 weeks was living hell ...rls ,skin crawling ,eyes constantly tearing,sneezing,body aches, lethargic the list goes on didnt sleep first 3 days maybe maybe an hr or so..its great what your doing and congrats on getting clean....great channel!!
@KandicePolut5 жыл бұрын
I do not think a placebo would work...especially as an iv op addict.
@SonyaRawr4055 жыл бұрын
Most of the time it's placebo I've tricked myself while withdrawing at work by taking tylenol and telling myself it was a perc and it worked I felt like I was itchy as if I took an actual perc but everyones mind is different I figured out how to trick my own mind without taking the actual drug I was trying to get off.
@MrNathan32smith5 жыл бұрын
Totally relate
@TaraTiaraBell3 жыл бұрын
I'm with you guys you would walk 10 miles in the snow to get it if that was your only chance
@larquinn10907 ай бұрын
💯 can relate to everything lads well put !! bed of luck 🍀👍
@katiesandin79053 жыл бұрын
The last thought at night, and the first thought in the morning. Soooooo don't miss that at all!!
@aliciamarie97045 жыл бұрын
I’m glad that the first and only time I snorted Opana, I got so sick! I had company over, and I was so sick that they left. I was so nauseated 🤢 that I was shivering. However, I felt pretty good for the first hour after ingestion. And then I felt good the next morning after nausea subsided. The afterglow was nice. But it wasn’t worth feeling so sick. 😑
@room616oc5 жыл бұрын
Hell no that won’t work. U gotta understand that the pre-scoring satisfactory feeling it’s only short and temporary. That fake oc will just get u back square one in a min.
@kristinetannous61503 жыл бұрын
I think the brain is stronger than we think and for some ppl that placebo experiment would work. When I first started smoking H I didn’t know what withdrawals were so when I first had them I just thought I had come down with something but as soon as you know what it is the sickness is heaps worse. The brain is majorly powerful man
@Elizabethpepper84 ай бұрын
I always thought it was anxiety related. The certainty provides the same amount of relief as actually having it. However, i found the opposute to be true as well. It was easier to deal with not being able to get anything than being left on the fence waiting to hear.
@LoveLestat5 жыл бұрын
when i used to score and getting well i used to call it getting a hug from the devil! ive had dealers when they havent been on in days and i had like 8 different people, once i was so desperate i went 4 miles away just for a 5 shot