Drunk Player Rage S**TS After His Character is Killed | Reading D&D Reddit Stories

[@OneShotQuips]

Check out Manta Sleep at tinyurl.com/33ca8csv and make sure to use code OSQ for limited time discounts!

[@xcreepercrafterx8016]

YOOO, THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE (please don’t care about this I just never get to KZbinrs who I think have a lot of subs with little comments l)

[@neko_mewkawaii7120]

😂😂😂😂 the poop story got me

[@franceskoz]

This was actually an amazing ad! :P

[@andreifrolenkov513]

A player gets mad for a NPC king wanting him to pay for murdering his daughter and warns the DM to "watch his back". The irony was probably lost to him.

[@Zedja]

So the cousin had main character syndrome and was a murder hobo that didn't believe in actions having consequenses. I'm very surprised he lasted multiple sessions before getting kicked out. The group had patience of saints and it took destruction of property to do it. All that was missing from the story was to see if he was creepy or a thief as well.

[@syncdom]

Don't forget his b*thing about the assassin targeting him specifically, I'm like no sh*t your the main target.

[@maxteraform]

Should have asked him to stay, and demand payment for the table. Ragequitting and screaming is one thing, breaking someone's stuff is on another level

[@557deadpool]

The consequence of playing Skyrim

[@daggern15]

@@maxteraform Especially a glass table. Those things aren't cheap and it's not like it'd just be a scuff that could be ignored. It's shattered and that's it. In their shoes, he'd be paying for it or I'd be pressing charges.

[@kreuger2062]

Hi, new to the DND community, may I ask what a murder hobo is? Apologies for my ignorance.🙂‍↕️

[@jlaw131985]

Also to note with Gandalf: he was basically a super powerful being akin to maybe an archangel…D&D wizards are NOT that based on LotR

[@lykuscerebros9480]

Yeah. Considering he got his magic from the only god in the universe, he could probably go under cleric or a multiclass of the two.

[@shimasclan]

​@@lykuscerebros9480if I remember my LoTR mythology properly, gandalf and the rest of the wizards are 2 steps below the god of the universe, with things like the Balrog and Sauron, which I believe are both Malar, being the step between them in the hierarchy, though I COULD be forgetting a set or two, and could be totally wrong. Been 15 years since I read about it.

[@jlaw131985]

@@shimasclan Basically correct: Sauron, the Balrog, and the Wizards were all Maiar (though I think technically none of them are still Maiar). Valar are the top ones, which are I suppose more the “archangels”, but that probably would have made my explanation a bit more confusing. Melkor was one of those Valar before he left them and did a bunch of evil including stealing the Simarils.

[@velinion1]

Eru Illúvatar > Valar > Maiar Probably not a 1:1 relationship with Christian mythology, but if you were trying, you'd probably have Eru Illúvatar as God, the Valar as Arch Angels, and the Maiar as Angels. The Valar's only limitation seems to have been creating from nothing but have vast power to modify existing reality, so they are generally considered lesser gods. The Maiar still accomplished such tasks as guiding the Sun and Moon (after the Trees of the Valar were destroyed by Ungoliant) so very powerful in their own right. The Maiar who went to Middle Earth as wizards agreed to their power being severely limited, though clearly Gandalf returned with somewhat loosened restrictions.

[@weezact7]

Eru is unequivocally capital-G God. Tolkien was a devout Christian and seemed to put a great amount of effort into making his world building not conflict with Christian mythology (he had a whole philosophy on the idea of "sub-creating" as praise to God. Even as an atheist I found it an interesting read). However, he had a lot of influence in his world-building from Norse and Finnish mythology which are polytheistic. So he reconciled them by saying the Valar were spirits that existed outside the world but were less than Eru, who was God. Specifically, the spirits which "sprang from [Eru's] thought and were with him before aught else" were known as the Ainur. Those that entered into the world of Arda were known as the Valar and the Maiar. There were others who remained outside, but they aren't really mentioned much. From a narrative standpoint, the Valar are essentially the Gods of Ea/Arda. Eru and the other Ainur do not intervene in the running of the world (with two, possibly three exceptions), leaving the Valar to handle it. The Valar are mentioned once or twice in TLotR, but never make any appearance. The Maiar are "akin" to the Valar, but lesser. They are, among other things, the Balrogs, the Wizards, Sauron, and possibly the more sapient animals like the Lord of the Eagles. There are other Maiar mentioned in other works. They are more like angels, being the servants of the gods. The Maiar vary a LOT in power. I believe Tolkien mentions in a letter that Sauron at his peak probably rivaled Morgoth, but idk if that was ever a final canon decision Tolkien made. When it comes to the Wizards, from what I understand, Gandalf didn't "get" stronger per se. It was more that he had some of the limitations on his power removed. The Wizards were powerful Maiar, but had a lot of that power held back from them because the Valar believed that the mortal races should be the ones to save themselves from Sauron.

[@benpepin7872]

I cannot imagine anyone at that table being able to look at that man again and not think of that washroom. That's not a burnt bridge, that is a tactical Nuclear Strike on the bridge. To believe he thought he had any chance in hell of coming back, he must not have been completely sober yet!

[@lauraw2526]

Seriously. If anyone in that group had wanted to speak to that man publicly again after that, I'd say they were the crazy ones.

[@daggern15]

Given his nerve to ask to come back, I can only hope he was so blackout drunk that he had no idea what he'd done. I don't expect it but one can always hope for some amount of a sliver lining in a shitty person's personality.

[@benpepin7872]

It's depressing that being exceptionally drunk could be a BETTER interpretation of events, now that you put the theory out there.

[@knitwit9447]

Frankly, both of the DMs in these stories couldve pressed charges. The first one for the broken table and vase, the second for...well, that entire shitshow

[@Allantitan]

And for putting everyone in danger of being seriously injured if not worse. Broken glass can be deadly if it happens to hit you wrong or you miss that one glass shard and accidentally step on it without shoes on

[@socialistrepublicofvietnam1500]

If any of the players had their legs under the table or near the glass-splash-zone, that is extremely severe injuries to their legs and lower bodies, and a vase breaking could smash somebody's feet I just feel bad for the friend who invited him

[@matthewmuir8884]

"s**tshow" was that pun intentional?

[@Canadian_Zac]

Wouldn't be worth it though There's a WHOLE process to go through to get a court thing. And most likely. They just wont show up. If someone got hurt by the glass, yeah 100% But the cost of the table.. not worth all the hassal it takes to get a lawyer and everything for a court case. Cuz you KNOW those types aren't just going to pay back, they'll try and fight everything

[@Nurichiri]

The second one was lucky DM didn't press charges (as far as OP knows).Between 1) vandalism and 2) doing it with a biohazard there is a chargeable offense there.

[@derekmenebroeker4993]

For those who get confused between the two: Stalactite is pronounced sta-LACK-tite. They are the ones found on the Ceiling; the word has a C in it. Stalagmites sta-LAG-mite are the ones on the Ground; the word has a G in it.

[@naiba8948]

@robertnope1993and stalagmites, you MIGHT trip over them

[@Pizzaetertje]

It rember it like my grandma told me: tits hang

[@DaTimmeh]

​​@@naiba8948My go-to was stalagMite. M forms spikes up from the ground. And then StalacTites, T is a "spike" down. Works a bit better in German as that's the only letter different in the two words (Stalaktiten and Stalakmiten).

[@ceilinh6004]

When the MITES go up, the TITES (tights) come down.

[@Spooglecraft]

Ceiling, Ground, didn't know that one to remember which is which. the way i learned was: stalacTites have a T in the name, stalagMites have an M instead, each indicating what they look like.

[@franceskoz]

The second one is heartbreaking, because they were friends. Glad everyone else banded together and supported each other ❤. The DM could have easily charged him; he must have been such a jerk to not only not apologize after he sobered up, but actually attack someone for holding him accountable. :(

[@lauraw2526]

Seems like both stories could have easily had legal consequences

[@weezact7]

It's one of my pet peeves that people seem to think being drunk excuses all kinds of shit. It doesn't. You don't get carte blanche access to do whatever you want because you're drunk. Like, yes, people tend to be more forgiving because you're not always thinking clearly, but it doesn't excuse bad behavior. Certainly not something of that magnitude. If you can't control yourself when you drink, then don't drink. You get MAYBE one free pass the first time you get drunk enough to realize you can't control yourself. After that, you are still responsible for your actions because you knowingly put yourself in a state where you knew you'd be unable to make good decisions.

[@suziwolf4830]

There's an old saying: "A drunk person's words are a sober person's thoughts." This applies to actions, too.

[@Callidus7SSM]

Amen! I wish more people saw it this way.

[@EelcoPeterzen]

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I sure hope the cat comes out fine in the end. Stuff like that can really mess you up. Thanks Duke and Amy for still doing this with such positive energy and humour. Also, Amy's story reminds me of the webcomic Order of the Stick, where Elan misinterprets and inverts the rule about lighter armour having less penalties for stealth checks, to the idea that less armor gives more stealth. So he takes off all of his clothes and starts running around, screaming that he's invisible, to the groans of the other party members, who wish that his naked body was actually invisible.

[@syncdom]

Honestly im suprised the sh*t smearer even had the balls to try to get the dm to let him play with them again, I mean after a stunt like that there's no way in hell anyone would have him over ever again.

[@M_M_ODonnell]

My rule of thumb is "play so that if your character dies it'll be the _most epic thing ever_ (or most heart-wrenching) and not a failure of you as a player." Some of my best D&D moments have been my character deaths; one of these days I need to play a dwarf who doesn't end up literally exploding, though.

[@FentonHardyFan]

Huh, that is not how things have worked out for any of my characters. My first character was knocked out and repeatedly stabbed until she died by golems, no saving throws. My second character was disintegrated by a Beholder right before the rest of the party killed it. My third character was killed by Acererak using Power Word Kill at the start of the final boss fight. My fourth character was disintegrated by an Anathema. My fifth character… honestly, I’m not sure what happened to her. At the end of our last session, she was unconscious but stabilized after a fight. The cleric cast Healing Word on her, but the party’s sketchy wizard subtly cast Counterspell to prevent my bard from regaining consciousness. So the rogue picked my character up and slung her over his shoulder while he held hands in a circle with the rest of the party while the occultist cast Plane Shift to take us out of the Hells and back to the regular Sword Coast. But…the occultist was angry because she could tell someone in the party had stolen her best magic item while the occultist was unconscious after the fight, so she set the Plane Shift to take everyone but my bard to Winterkeep instead of Waterdeep. (She knew my unconscious bard would not be a willing creature and would be left behind. She intended to figure out who had her mask, get it back, and then take the rest of the party to Waterdeep.) Except that the occultist had to make an Intelligence Saving Throw for some reason during casting, failed it, and was left behind. So now the wizard, cleric, and rogue are in Winterkeep, and the occultist and my unconscious bard are still in Hell. Even the DM seems confused about what we’re doing next session.

[@vernandsockey8611]

The difference between Gandalf and the Crappy Stalactite Wizard, is that Gandalf was a Maiar, a literal angelic being who had been sent to Middle Earth to help mortals fight Sauron. Crappy Stalactite Wizard is some random guy who learned how to do magic from a book. The two situations are not comparable at all, even if you ignore the heroics.

[@JingleJangle256]

Crazy Cousin: I’m gonna ruin my party’s day! Party Pooper: Hold my beer.

[@alexi4829]

I heard poop was involved and I thought "oh no is this going to be that story Crit Crab read recently..? I can't deal with that one again" and then it got so much worse...

[@genericname2747]

Wait, what was the Crit Crab story?

[@BrandonVout]

​​​​​@@genericname2747I think it was the dude who had a fetish for making his character piss and shit on everyone. The amount of ignored red flags in that story before they even got to the second town. He just kept getting worse.

[@genericname2747]

@@BrandonVout Ah, I have now seen the video you're talking about. I wish I hadn't.

[@skittlemenow]

Man I worked at a gas station for a couple of months and had the displeasure of finding the bathroom looking like a poop bomb went off in it. Literally every surface in the bathroom was coated in poop. My heart goes out to the group that cleaned it, that is some nasty stuff to deal with.

[@jenniferdaniels701]

Story 1- I didn't know a player could be the BBEG.

[@amtrak7394]

That cousin who said, “You’d better watch your back,” better be thankful he wasn’t in my last D&D group. That group contained an IRL former Army Ranger (me, the DM), a former Marine (a buddy) and a cop (another buddy). Yeah, that wouldn’t have gone over too well for loud mouth.

[@JnEricsonx]

What classes did you play out of curiosity?

[@amtrak7394]

@@JnEricsonx Usually the more shall we say martial classes (as opposed to magical) like barbarians, fighters, monks and rogues. If I want a slight magical bend then I’ll go for a paladin or a ranger.

[@JnEricsonx]

@@amtrak7394 Fair enough. My first and currently only char(the game got shut down cause the DM's schedule went to complete erratic due to life) is Half Drow Inquisitive Rogue. If/When I find a new game, Im thinking going Warlock/Sorc. Unless the team is lacking muscle, then I'll prob go Barb or Paladin.

[@PixeIated]

Im sorry rage shat? Definitely adding that to my barbarian

[@genericname2747]

Poop everywhere to deal psychic damage to people

[@appletree13]

@@genericname2747 You could probably throw poison damage in there as well 😂

[@dovahkiin7253]

​@@appletree13Or hear me out, acid damage for taco bell

[@mr.e7806]

​@dovahkiin7253 If they ate some spicy food then it would be fire damage

[@8Sigurd]

DM: your characters are heavily constipated. Roll constitution to break the effect Barbarian: I have an advantage because I'm raging

[@PhilosophicallyAmerican]

The title story is why we don't combine alcohol and DnD. Or alcohol and driving. Or alcohol and friendships. Just don't drink, guys. 20:35 No, bad Duke! Don't make it weird. Bad!

[@vedrengrabelox3231]

You may find this hard to believe, but most people don't smear feces in other people's homes after drinking with their friends and fellow players.

[@SamBrockmann]

If alcohol causes you to smear feces anywhere or on anyone, then your problem isn't alcohol. Your problem is you.

[@PhilosophicallyAmerican]

@@vedrengrabelox3231 You sure showed that straw man who's boss. Are you going to deny alcohol was a factor?

[@vedrengrabelox3231]

@@PhilosophicallyAmerican I can only tell you that the only reason I haven't killed anyone is that I have never played a violent video game. And the only reason I don't smear my own shit everywhere is that I don't drink. I am certain that even though I am a normal, well-adjusted person- all bets would be off if I played GTA or touched the demon alcohol. It has nothing to do with me, it's all the outside force.

[@PhilosophicallyAmerican]

@@vedrengrabelox3231 I am sorry you are that weak, but at least you realized it in time.

[@WildflowersCreations]

So glad for Amy's intermission story, it was very needed.

[@T-51_]

Honestly, they should’ve took pictures, and called the police on the poop guy for vandalism and public indecency

[@RockyLXXXVIII]

I love when DM describes a dangerous scenario, player decides to take the risk, it doesn’t pay off, then player blames DM for just “making stuff up” to kill them. Like DM literally said “this is a chasm” player tried to jump across said chasm, failed, and accuses DM of just putting that chasm there to kill him, as if it wasn’t there until after the player failed their check.

[@dirk_badlander1883]

Oh my word! 😂😂 I feel so bad for anyone who has had similar stuff like this happen. Hearing stuff like this though makes me very happy to have the players I do. Hopefully stories like this can help other dms/players appreciate who they play with more.

[@Stephen-Fox]

Even milder horror stories makes me glad for the (mostly random) groups I've wound up part of. Even my horror stories aren't... ...Well... Even the usual sort of horror stories aren't as bad as either of these, but my horror stories aren't as bad as the usual sort of horror story.

[@doggofriend7581]

Rage Sh###ing is a brand new word that i will NEVER forget

[@Mattsterweb]

duke's pronunciations of words like "stiffle" and "salacitite" give me great joy

[@usshared1649]

They give me great pain

[@tiffanylamb1187]

I just love you two! Keep sharing and we will keep laughing, or, in the case of a bathroom filled with smeared poo, horror. Thank you and keep them coming!

[@IsshouFuuraibou]

I'm surprised the first story didn't end with a lawsuit and restraining order against the cousin. Would have definitely asked the friend to tell the cousin that he had to pay to replace the table and vase. Those aren't likely to be all that cheap to replace. With the open thread of bodily harm (you better watch your back) with the already violent destruction of property getting a restraining order would have been prudent. They have the cousin's cousin to go through for any restitution (or the courts if it comes to that).

[@lauraw2526]

Absolutely. I'd have gotten a restraining order myself, at the least

[@Dion-Rose]

I always appreciate my hubby for his awesome DMing and patience. 😊❤🎉

[@fluffy1helb]

I'm thinking the Wizard player just rolled a 1 for his poop. He had disadvantage from being drunk .

[@emberfist8347]

First story if I was in that party, I would have turned the cousin’s character in for the reward or just let the assassin take him. I don’t need to be enemies with a king who isn’t the BBEG

[@TheHobosSon366]

The second horror story reminds me of a similar story from when I was in high school. This was in my sophomore year. My school had some classrooms out in what we called "The Mods" which were basically trailers that had been converted into classrooms. They had even converted some into bathrooms so that people wouldn't have to go into the main building when they needed to use the bathroom. For 3 of the 4 years that I was in that high school the bathrooms out in The Mods were shut down because some asshat smeared shit on the walls of one of the boy's bathrooms. Which made life for anyone who had a class out in The Mods a lot harder as if they had to use the bathroom, they either had to hope that someone was nearby to open the doors to the main building (only opened from the inside or with an admin pass from the outside) or they had to pray that they could hold it in.

[@DaremKurosaki]

When I worked at a convivence store attached to a gas station in a fairly nice town (Think CEOs and professional athletes mixed with people who pretend they are). One day, an older gentleman (roughly in his 70s-80s) comes in one day, and shuffles over to the bathroom. I don't think anything of it but eventually I realize he's been in there for a while (10+ minutes). Eventually, a lady I presume was his wife checks on him and he shuffles out. Well, about 5 minutes later one of the gas attendants goes into use the bathroom and damn near stumbles back out as soon opens the door and almost vomits. The entire bathroom is covered in shit. The floor, the walls, and there's even some on the ceiling. The only thing *not* covered in shit is, ironically, the toilet. I have no clue how the old man came out of that room not covered in shit himself.

[@jacobholden2030]

If i was the cousin of THAT GUY, i would have asked him to leave. And after the table flip i would have held him there until he argreed to pay for a new one plus the vase. No one in my family does this shit to anyone. and if they do and i am there. I make it known that they fucked up in the worst way possible.

[@SillySyrup]

0:25 Wife really be sounding like Misty

[@okveton]

Now I understand why our DM said no alcohol :D

[@Asertix357]

This is the first time I've ever heard the term "rage shit". I didn't know that was a thing.

[@arbiterfinn5627]

I got a good one for you it’s called Dave the God of war I was the DM for a group. The party wasn’t supposed to encounter the BBEG yet. But they correctly guessed what village he planned to attack and ambushed him. Despite their low level they were rolling 16+ only. And so they managed to slay almost all the soldiers still at the camp (btw they let the rest of his army attack and destroy the whole village) they continued to attack the BBEG and I being a newer DM at the time panicked that my cool BBEG was going to die session like 2 so I had him run away. The party tried to chase him down but the last guard jumped in front of them shouting “I am Dave my life lies in the safety of my lord” At this point the barbarian being a barbarian swung his axe at Dave but rolled a nat 1 (in this group the rule is that a nat 1 causes a parry and a automatic hit in retaliation) so Dave hit the barbarian back. The rest of the party (5 people) jumped in all swinging at Dave they made 22 attack attempts at Dave for a total of 13 nat 1s, 7 under 5, and two nines. Dave was one of the weaker guards. His ac was 10. They couldn’t hit him of his 5 foes. 2 ran at 1 health, One was knocked out, and the other two fled as the army got back from invading the village. We finished the campaign with no other Dave sightings. But then my friend had his DM session. It started with the party on death row but then offered a deal to fight for the god of war and guess who it was, that’s right it was DAVE. The lore was that after nearly singlehandly defeating the party he became the number 3 guy. Near the end of my campaign the BBEG and his number 2 both were killed by the party. Dave then was pissed at the current god of war for apparently “rigging the fight” and so he went and killed the god of war in a fistfight to the death. He then tracked down and killed the whole previous party, now living their lives peacefully. Until he came across the barbarian who first attacked him 50 years later. The barbarian had created a farm and was a pseudo dragon breeder. The barbarian wasn’t afraid of Dave or death and talked to him. He showed him right and wrong and Dave left for recollection before returning to do good. Now Dave is permanently the god of war in all games played in that group.

[@MyAramil]

(pretty sure its been covered but Gandalf is akin to a celestial in LOTR, same as the balrog(yes Balrogs are basically angels) and 99.999% of the time Gandalf suppressed his power much like Freiza does. He abides by certain tenants and can only do so much. If he flexed his full power the armies of mordor would not be able to stand against him.

[@trenchkiller1098]

That second story was favorite 1 you've done. I was totally expecting it to be on the ceiling too! Before I thought it was just gonna be a assplosion not smearing it everywhere.

[@cozmiccorruption]

Table flip guy definitely sounds like he didn't grow out of his edgy teenager phase.

[@timothyfrasier8218]

Okay that last part with the wife saying you can clean my house and Duke said that was a little bit suggestive and then she taking it back that was so hilarious I laughed lol😂.

[@Smok_Argus]

People being surprised and pissed that their actions have consequences, be it in game (targeted by assasin) or IRL (being cast out because of shitty situation in the bathroom) never stops to amaze me.

[@Stephen-Fox]

I was expecting that second story to just be 'drunk mistake leads to character death and bad beer leads to sudden diarrhoea' but... No. It was worse. It was vindictive excrement.

[@jakisz]

Yea, that last story was something. To the players that stayed, they are good friends.

[@keanekids4266]

OSQ is the only channel that can make an add read actually funny

[@tytbmbutterboi6664]

Poop Vandalism as a Rage response is certainly a new one

[@brianhannine394]

When wife said "your girlfriend and I tehehe" I started laughing so hard my mom thought I was dying.

[@gamemasteranthony2756]

Yikes! Two stories where the bad player could've faced charges!

[@remiwelch6234]

The plushie reveal is the best part of these videos

[@cjsmith411yt]

"friend's cousin" "winning" - sounds like it was Charlie Sheen. :D

[@iandutton4601]

That last story when wife said "You don't do that" all I could think was don't you mean you don't poo that.

[@dayrarosado1027]

The first one kinda made me think that he lied about playing other ttrpgs and instead played video games that are like ttrpgs but not actually. This given how he not only acted like the main character and prioritize on looting maximizing power level and potential of all "characters" which is normal in video games and sometimes even encouraged to a degree, since a souless and emotionless computer program is obviously not going to care and will only follow its set coding instead of dishing out actual consequences. While DnD is more like a living interactive novel where your choices actually do matter, cause the story can mold and shape itself around your actions and react to them, cause it's controlled by an actual person and not a machine. The DM being a fellow human being, also capable of critical thinking and having feelings, will of course find a way to meet your character half way in every aspect 😅. In other words he was playing the wrong type of game and had the wrong mindset, not that this self-centered and nasty egotistical behavior is acceptable in any shape, way or form. Glass tables are HEAVY, and someone could have gotten hurt 😰 Sorry for the long analysis though, just felt like pointing that out 🙃

[@Electrikmoney]

18:51 how much poop did he had

[@GrassMale]

Story 2: sue the shitty friend for vandalism

[@Stephen-Fox]

Story 1: sue the aggressive cousin for property damage

[@rabidseabee7229]

I would have sued that drunk player, that's unacceptable.

[@piecewisefunctioneer]

My next bard characters going to be that 12 year old halo player 😂😂

[@tatersalad76]

I'll come clean your guys' house, but I'm gonna need popcorn and a movie night to stay true to the source material

[@danielsperanza6754]

You two are too cute! Thanks for sharing your connection with us.

[@Person-bo7ol]

12:38 it came out of where the sun don’t shine

[@Jay-gurl]

I have only had ONE horror story in RP. That being my party going murder hobo on a fricking innocent messenger. The DM (my ex at the time) was furious in how it derailed everything and planned the next session- A complete TPK. He said how the message was for a god and now, he was pissed. Thankfully my character wasn't involved in the incident so I got out it with only a few bad hits but the rest of the crew? Killed on sight. Naturally many of them were upset but DM put his foot down and said how YOU NEVER KILL THE MESSANGER! And that actions have consequences. Mostly, he was just getting tired of how the group would piss and moan about him playing by the rules (IE- they got upset when a cocaine bear which was listed as couldn't be charmed, couldn't be charmed. Despite always getting enemy lists to read) but than would do whatever they wanted regardless of alignment

[@commonviewer2488]

Friendships can end with this hobby if somebody feels a bit too self-important. You'll have some real bizarre outbursts like these

[@Jessie_Helms]

The absolute self control on that first DM. If some asshole in _my own home_ threatened me he wouldn’t have walked out my door.

[@MyAramil]

Id have laughed and asked what caliber should I bring for that encounter would be appropriate for that time

[@jbee02]

If friend decorated my bathroom with his feces, id file a police report and press charges.

[@PedroFelix456]

"The DM is upset and trying to kill my character" DM: "You'll know when I'm upset, and the WORLD will know when I'm trying to kill you" Sanchez, Rick

[@insufferableanarchist]

Id like to add, drunk people's actions and dialogs are their sober thoughts.

[@marcusdire8057]

I'd like to second this. This is the comment I was going to make as well.

[@Michael-bn1oi]

This isn't actually true.

[@robinmohamedally7587]

@@Michael-bn1oi it really is. Alcohol removes inhibitions, and most people behave how they would without inhibiting themselves. That's the real them.

[@dargatan6301]

@@robinmohamedally7587 except, it's not, because impulse control is a real thing. A lot of people feel split second things in the moment that they don't act on as the moment passes.

[@Eckister]

I hate how people use being drunk as an excuse for anything. it took that "person" over 20 minutes to do that deed and I don't care how drunk he was - during that whole process he would have asked himself "wtf am I doing?" several times, thus giving himself the option to stop.

[@sandpiperr]

Yeah, the idea that it was because he was drunk is BS. Being drunk doesn't make you attempt to write on someone's walls with your own feces! If you're really drunk it might make you piss yourself or puke everywhere, but you aren't going to be writing when you're that far gone. You only do something like that because you want to, and what kind of effed up person wants to? I've been really angry before but I've never had the urge to write with my own crap because that'd be just as gross for me!

[@Eckister]

@@sandpiperr right? I was like "not sure who lost here..."

[@whatanerd7628]

I'm dyslectic and reading all this woulda been a chore. Thank you so much for doing it for me :')

[@AwakenedRAGEJustin]

My guy wasn’t going to to come back as Gandalf the white, he was gonna come back as Gandalf the brown

[@FHBStudio]

I wonder how long it'll take before fake stories become so good/similar to true stories they're no longer discernible. I'm sure there's a bunch of people submitting fake stories. Just waiting for the "As a language model" stories as well lol. Let's hope this never happens though.

[@Leith_Crowther]

I wonder how long it’ll take before climate change starts to displace people. *Psst* Both things are already happening.

[@Iso-Chef]

I see why he wanted to become Gandalf. Think about it, Gandalf fought the Balrog, and he fought the Bowelrog.

[@gigantesygo2196]

In the campaign I'm currently in a player decided blowup a goblin near a goblin army base so now we have an army of Goblins chasing us

[@lisaduggan9782]

You've heard of rage quit, now prepare for rage shit 😄😄

[@benmcgee3831]

When om not asleep, I'm usually sleeping...dude same😂

[@shadow-faye]

Imagine claiming to be the leader and getting mad that you get targeted

[@Rubymagicalgirl88]

Third story. I hope the DM have a dead pan delivery when he mentions the wizard fell down a pit.

[@lisaroper421]

The ads are awesome!

[@T-51_]

Always make at least 3 characters in case you die in the campaign

[@meghan3306]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Y'all are fun to watch

[@pathalenvivaldi7811]

Not good at TLDRs, but tried one at the bottom, hope it's decent. Technically, if we're to go into the details, skill checks don't have 'nat 1s' as they can't crit fail or succeed, only attacks do. Being a wizard, he likely didn't have much modifier and failed and fell, true, but saying it was due to the 'nat 1' over 'due to the too low roll to grab it' feels like that bad 'I'm gonna add nat 1s and 20s to all checks, not just attacks' mentality. Anyway, the DM was a bit quick to just go 'you're dead' especially to the drunk player who was obviously drunk and not thinking straight - he could've at least thrown a bone by playing by the rules and rolling fall damage. Fall damage caps at 20d6, and we never found out what their HP total is due to not knowing their levels, thus he could've had 50+ hp. He'd need to ultimately take 54 damage to die if that hypothetical were the case, so while 80 is the average of 20d6, it could low roll as little as 20 - so again, DM really should've thrown him the bone there and not just decide 'he did something stupid so I'll even ignore the rules and just kill him, he deserves it for being drunk and distracted'. Underdark doesn't have any 'instant death if you touch the ground' rules, after all, and there was obviously some spite from the DM by the sound of this story. And if he were to add 'you took extra damage cause the stalagtite - or is it stalagmite? - fell on you due to your nat 1, that's really again just setting it up to kill him a bit maliciously, since the Wizard was still in plenty of precarious a spot on his own accord, and the DM can choose to have him not reach the damn piece of rock or have it snap and fall on him, killing him out of spite, even though nat 1s don't work that way, but DMs word is what happens, for better or worse. The punishment for his foolishness could've instead been in the form of: -Him dying cause the rolled fall damage was too high. -Him not outright dying but dying on death saves as no one could make it to him on time. -Him surviving both the fall and the saves, but since you're unconscious for 1d4 hours, he stays out the rest of the session and watches the others play, and owes them one for taking time to bail him out when he'd done something stupid drunkenly. Don't get me wrong, the guy being drunk that much was him overdoing it, but it wasn't like he arrived drunk at the session, they all drank, and he might've gotten more drunk still over his argument with the DM and the DM indeed rushing to just kill his character. The player is still absolutely in the wrong for the bull he pulled in the DM's bathroom, and even before that, he'd reasonably have to suffer consequences for dumb plays, but the DM was the one who went out of his way to ignore rules and just rule it a direct death to his character. They were all drinking, doing something sillier could've been expected and forgiven - and on that note, the DM being more confrontational if he's an aggressive drunk could also be understandable, as more than just one of them may have been drunk. Still, the actual wrongs done in this story sum up to 2 things: -In a very likely character death scenario, the DM went out of his way to remove the 'likely' part and be sure to kill off his player's character, which was unnecessary and an utter dick move. -The player, feeling cheated or not, was utterly disgusting in vandalizing the bathroom, which is I dare say is criminal. TL, DR: I am against the player in question, cause he is absolutely retarded. Talking about the game though, they were all drunk - even if one was way more excessively - so the DM gets a partial pass, but I am not on his side either, as he went out of his way to circumvent rules and kill his player instead of give him a chance when that chance would've been a minor one anyway, and if he makes it he makes it. In short, DM is a dick and an idiot in game, and player is an absolutely far worse moron, and a vandal and nuisance out of game as revenge. Don't drink during DnD, kids...

[@Kallmekarlskosplays]

Perfect video to wake up to

[@Nerfed245]

My little cousin and I were playing dnd and my older cousin was the DM. Everything was going well until my little cousin started getting sh**ty rolls (

[@jarrett8897]

“Stalacitite” Love it

[@nickdeltufo3857]

Was not expecting a Dumb and Dumberer reference today, thank you Duke

[@tomjohnson4922]

as a custodian I've seen some bad stuff... as long as you don't think about it you can technically clean anything.

[@benmwalls]

I just assumed the "shartificer" was doing Scott Steiner math and screaming like him too.

[@final_catalyst]

I was hoping(?) it was going to just be asshole but drunk fucked up and drunkenly stumbled around and got shit every where. Rather that absolutely malicious

[@irina-ty1336]

Yeah, I thought so !! Nat1 at the table, drunk AH get up, scream, and poop his pants, that was my scenario from the title

[@f.a.santiago1053]

Poop guy could have just ROLLED his new guy to be the "White wizard" and make him a cleric or something.

[@mattwegenke8833]

I hope the kitty heals quickly!

[@dhrekkin9055]

I'd have called the cops on any player that did that to me (shat all over my bathroom), (former) friend or not. That is where things go from DM/player to Home owner/vandal relationship

[@piecewisefunctioneer]

The difference between gandalf and this wizard is that gandalf is an astari. He is essentially a demi-god.

[@YTNFSCC]

"Your girlfriend and I, tehehe" Will now be my online catchphrase.

[@littleplague5988]

I have the same Togepi plushie and i love it 🥰🥰🥰

[@PunknPixels]

problem guy from story 1 absolutely gave 2008 halo 3 ranked postgame lobby

[@VT-zc9ln]

As for her gnome player, I played a character who played by two rules taught to her by her pixie master. Just a bard. *Wink wink* First rule. Always keep dancing. IE keep trying, don't give up. And rule two. If you make enough spectacle of yourself maybe they won't realize you aren't wearing pants. Never let them know they've got you. Was an epic game and the character is legendary amongst my table.

[@choreomaniac]

Maybe DM could have said “You want to lead, right? Could you help me out by rping as the King? Great “ now make him role play as the King who just had his daughter murdered. What would he do? Would he be angry?

[@gabrielandradeferraz386]

No i dont think that would work. The reason being I dont think he is roleplaying at all. To that guy this world is just a bunch of numbers and his have to be the biggest

[@connorwest5574]

When I'm not awake I'm asleep

[@AuntLoopy123]

Second story - DM should have called the cops, said, "Come and collect the evidence, before we clean it up." Made sure the cops got DNA evidence of WHOSE POOP was smeared all over, and fingerprint evidence of who did the smearing. Video evidence. Witness statements. The works. Get everything you need to take this to court. Then, when the guy calls back, wanting back in the game, you can say, "Well, I don't know when you'll be available to play with us again." "Huh? I'm available every week, like normal." "I don't know how much time you'll serve. I'm not a lawyer, so I don't know what the sentence usually is for this sort of crime. But I do know that we're going to find out." "WHAT?" "Oh, yeah, the cops have ALL the evidence about what you did. This is an open and shut case. Should be interesting, though. You know, I've never been to court. I can't wait. See you in the courtroom, dude." "WHAT?! You can't call the cops on me! Don't you DARE call the cops on me!" "Already done, dude. We did it before we cleaned up your mess." "What mess?" "Oh, goodness. You don't remember? MAN, you were really STINKIN' DRUNK if you don't remember. Well, being that drunk is NOT a legal excuse to get you out of jail free, so... Yeah, see you in court." "But..." "BYE!" Because, seriously, this is a crime, and should have been fully prosecuted. Otherwise, this guy will think it's OK, and DO IT AGAIN to someone else! Sure, he lost his game group, but what's to make him think he shouldn't do this to his next game group? Do the world a favor, and STOP HIM.

[@BumbleDoom]

Break my glass table, Annoyed. Break my wife's vase? Roll RL initiative.

[@Zand0r]

For the first story shoulda showed him that actions have consequences by making him pay for the table and vase and maybe even threatening to sue