As long as I'm alive, they don't care wether I'm a girl or a boy | Life update: October

[@piawhat]

Hey you reading this, you're awesome!

[@kirillfinstad5304]

you shouldn't feel guilty for having suicidal thoughts. it's not like you chose to have them. please stay strong, kovu! we love you!

[@SherbetLollipop]

That's a good way of putting it! We don't choose to have suicidal thoughts. But we can recognize them as unwanted.

[@molly-mv1rn]

I managed to do psychology at school, and its really interesting and I'm really enjoying it. I would definitely recommend it if you're interested in psychology. I find your channel very helpful as I've been struggling with figuring out how I identify (ftm (I think I'm transgender or non-binary, but I think demi-boy fits me well because I don't fully identify as a boy, but I identify as a boy more than anything else)) and I am trying to pluck up the courage to tell my mum and dad (who are (thankfully) supportive, which was incredibly worrying for me Sorry, I ramble But, just, thank you for posting videos because it's really helping me through this. You're awesome.

[@Kovukingsrod]

AwesomeOtaku I hope everything goes well for you !! And I can actually very much relate to that demiboy thing

[@marianafernando303]

I absolutely love you, your so adorable, stat strong and most of all stay here because I love watching your videos and hearing updates or whatever. Just seeing you here makes me happy. Your perfect and I hope you can see that, I really hope that your family is accepting of you. I see you as a guy I would have never guessed you were ever a girl if it wasn't for this channel. I hope you can one day (sooner or later) see that you are an amazing person and I wish I could give you the BIGGEST HUG and your NOT A FREAK AT ALL trust me I have met freaky people and you are far from it. Also your voice does not at all sound feminine, then again maybe it's the accent (btw it's hot ASF)! STAY STRONG❤️❤️

[@marianafernando303]

P.S. I don't feel sorry for you I just think your the cutest most eye opening person ever... okay I'm going to stop talking now cause I'm definitely rambling LOVE YOU❤️

[@Kovukingsrod]

Mariana Fernando oh my gosh, thank you so much lovely ❤️ that really put a smile on my face :D I appreciate that so so so so so so soooo much x

[@marianafernando303]

Kovu is a unicorn ofc anytime❤️❤️

[@reeflarkin1919]

Firstly, GET TESTOGEL!!! I have it and it's great, it keeps my levels steady, and it's given me all the changes one can expect (lower voice- this happens normally quite quickly and makes passing a million times easier-, hairiness, increased muscle, stopping the monthly's etc.). I can't take needles and I almost didn't go on T because I thought that was the only option. Also, I did IB and I did not enjoy it. The school I went to was great though, kinda a university atmosphere. Everyone is accepted and difference is valued. It was free uniform as with any school I went to since yr6. Glad your parents are coming around. There's lots of stories of parents being super supportive right away but I think the reality is it's mostly shitty at first and then after maybe a year you'll be surprised at the progress. My mum, annoyingly, said I should've medically transitioned when I was younger (I think she'd just watched some trans documentary)... apparently she has amnesia about the fact that she was so anti me being on hormones at 20... she would not have let me go on it if I had to ask permission from her. That just shows how much she's flipped though. It was mixed results with wider family but the longer you stick to your guns the better it gets.

[@noahbov5987]

Hey I just found your channel, I just wanted to say that I think you're really cool and you kinda remind me of Robin (cavetown). I'm struggling a lot with my gender identity and you make me see that I'm not alone and that I will get through this. Thanks for helping and I hope you feel better soon!

[@lancesego3371]

You will get through it even if it takes awhile I still don't fully know my gender but that's ok I am only 12 after all, anyway Kovu you so do remind of cavetown xD

[@ghasttear2686]

You find the Phandom everywhere. 😂😂

[@michelleswacford9520]

Ghast Tear chairmanship

[@michelleswacford9520]

ehehusiehejeh

[@ctothep]

YOU HONESTLY DO WE'RE JUST CREEPIN IN EVERY CORNER OF THE INTERNET

[@thetransboy9437]

I know that disphoria around the hips all too well ugh>< I have really big hips and I hate them so much....

[@thetransboy9437]

I generally relate to you so much and your videos are really inspiring! Ily:3

[@kat-lc4cv]

The Trans Boy I know how you feel >~< *paps*

[@idfksorry1657]

Kovu thank you for making these videos. You are so inspirational and strong. We all struggle here but at least for me when I watch your videos I feel better for who I am. Once again thank you

[@saff1257]

I just realised how little action I can take about my identity. First I need to be 100% sure on what my gender is, then come out to friends, then come out to my mum and dad (my dad will hate me ugh), then get a binder, then come out to everyone else, then get a therapist (which I always get nervous about), then get testosterone and then get top surgery then maybe bottom surgery... :((( Ughhhhhhhhhh I have soooo far to go and I haven't even got a proper binder yet

[@Drummerdudegirl]

You'll get there, tbh you can take step before coming out. You can get a binder before coming out, that's what I do

[@thuviels]

Thanks for the cookie xD I'm so happy your parents are coming around, my parents are slowly warming up to me being trans too so I think it's important for everyone to remember that sometimes people just need time to get used to new things. I hope your grandparents will come to accept you as well

[@davidyarbrough6922]

OK. KOVU I subbed your Chanel an I've subbed a lot of Chanel's like yours. please stay strong. I struggle with myself everyday about who I am. on paper I am a 46 year old man with 2 beautiful kids 25 an 26 years old married almost 21 years. inside I do not know who I truly am. sexually people call me bi physically I have no clue emotionally with all the definitions new and old I relate to many parts of many of them. my wife has known since before we became an item and is accepting of me my son (25) knows an accepts but they only know about me sexually. they nor anybody else knows the emotional turmoil I go through everyday. on my bad days what really picks me up is watching the younger generation like yourself be so open and proud of who you are I've watched dozens of videos like yours and they make me feel loads better. not so much about myself but about society and how much positive it has changed since I was your age. back then we didn't have the choices that you now have today.I struggle today because we weren't allowed to think like that. being lgbt was unthinkable with harsh consequences back then so what I should have been able to work out as a kid or teen is only now in the last few years being worked out.I look up to you and others your age for strength and encouragement by your videos.I have been suicidal even attempted and failed several times by poor timing on my part I always got caught and saved but those days are past. at least for now I think. the positive from watching you and others has been awesome.because of all you guys/girls lgbt videos I've been actually coming out to more and more people. not once has any of it been negative even from friends I thought would want to beat me up an stuff.as a result I've been happier because I didn't have to pretend to be somebody I wasn't anymore. it has also made me and my friends closer cuz they can see the positive changes in me.its still a struggle and I'm sure it always will be. looking back I'm positive my parents already knew but I will never know because they have both passed. not talking to them about the real me is currently my only regret because if I would have talked to them when I was your age I'm 100% positive I would have been a better and different person today. so please keep up the positive attitude try not to dwell on your physical looks or anything like that. it sounds to me you've got great support in your life and it will all work out. maybe not 100% but your taking the steps in the right direction. never give up. I'm sure there are others like myself who feel the same. stay pissitive stay strong be yourself and if you feel yourself slipping or being overwhelmed lean on your parents an brother just say mom dad can you hold me hug me an tell me again how much you love me I really need it and you know what? I'm sure they will.

[@berriesmilkshake3944]

Love you Kovu!

[@Kovukingsrod]

Berries Milkshake love you too !

[@ridleygreen7731]

I can relate so much to you. I see myself in you (and not just because we look similar), but because of what you've been through. I'm the same age and in the same stage of my transition. All of your updates give me hope, and I really want to one day watch you as a happy man, when we've both achieved what we want. You're such an amazing person. Stay strong and stay safe.

[@cookienugget7826]

I love you so much and I just love hearing you talk and I literally watched the entire video just to hear you talk and you are so inspiring it's amazing!

[@melaniesalvat1375]

hi kovu! your videos make me really happy and cheer me up and I'm so happy that your parents said that to you because all parents should care the most about their children being alive and happy. try to find a school that has both an accepting environment and a good psychology program! have a lovely day :) p.s. autumn is my favourite season too

[@elizabethryder6004]

I want you to know that no matter who might not except you you have all of us and you will always at least have me to except you no matter what!!! Lysm!!💕💕💕

[@carlyk3609]

you are my favorite person in the whole world Kovu💙it really feels like you're talking to me and i needed someone to tell me that i can stay strong, so thank you :))

[@saff1257]

I hate it when therapists say it's 'not a big problem' LIKE DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD THIS SHIT IS..

[@silvyrol]

You're great man! Everything is going to be fine :) I trust in you

[@thetransboy9437]

Psychology and English sounds perfect omg*-*

[@koutashinji]

Don't feel lonely Kovu! I don't have any friends either :( Ive been through some dark times too, and its real rough, but I'm still here. When you say you're lonely, do you mean just in a IRL hanging out kind of way, cuz I get the impression you have loads of internet friends to choose from given your social media presence, but if that's not the case, I'd be happy to talk.

[@ionlymadedischanneltocomme9551]

Love you so much Kovu, you stay strong too, and I'll do my best

[@WhatsUpEarth]

You're great kovu :). Thanks for the cookie - i did watch the whole thing

[@lulawilliams2980]

Thanks for helping me stay strong! Also, I love your hoodie xx

[@yrjagoetzingerpalm3152]

You are the best thing that have happend to me here on KZbin, I can relate to the most you're talking about, as I'm a genderfluid girl and often hates my body. You're just so awesome.

[@maryanncooke3660]

I can't believe i only found your channel today I think you are really awesome and cool and inspirational I'm proud of you also can't wait to watch all your videos

[@katelynharrell8293]

ohmy i just started watching your videos you seem really cool and youre really inspiring my dude. lmao i hope youre happy and all that goooood shiiit btw youre hair is literally like my everything rn tbh

[@nootashaf2186]

Stay strong 💙

[@connorwilson8974]

i love you kovu! and i would kill to have your life honestly! stay safe! stay strong! be proud.

[@Elliot_weeks]

I look up to you! You are such an amazing person Kovu I love you sm! STAY STRONG, OKAY?!❤️❤️❤️

[@blakethrasher1880]

aw kovu you are so freaking amazing and cute and i love you you made me tear up near the end please stay strong i love you you awesome bum and autumn is awesome, i look up to you so much im gonna try to stay strong seriously your videos give me strength when you say stuff about loving us and all that positive stuff i almost cry cuz no one really says stuff like that to me in real life. omg im rambling im sorry i love you! watched the whole thing om nom nom *eats da kovu cookie*

[@drakedapup9726]

I can relate to you a lot. Hope you feel better. Love you ❤️

[@koutashinji]

q for your friend: is Kovu as cute and sweet and smart IRL as he is on camera? :D

[@ghasttear2686]

I just found your channel today. I love your videos and subscribed.

[@lulutortue9262]

Love love love you so much Kovu !! Thanks for your videos !!

[@lancesego3371]

Love you kovu❤️Stay strong! And I hope you have a good day!

[@spencersaturn5237]

im 15 and trans ftm and pansexual. About 2 years ago i came out to all my friends and family as pansexual everyone is cool with it but family think its a phase. As for trans i came out to my parents and grandma last year and my grandma and dad say they accept me but dont use my pronouns or name or anything and dont believe me and my mom just doesnt accept me at all because shes religious. I came out as trans to my friends a few weeks ago and they all accepted me but only 1 friend and my girlfriend calls me by my name and pronouns which is better than no one at all but still really sucks.

[@dominik8069]

Can you please post a picture (maybe on instagram idk) of "Stay Strong 💜" or something like that written in your handwriting? I really want to get it tattooed on my birthday (November 24th) you're sooo special to me, your videos have helped me a lot, I'm going to see a therapist next week and try to finally be myself and start a new life (I'm transgender too), It'd be amazing to have that tattoo 💕 ily

[@Kovukingsrod]

Stylinmoonlight oh my god. That is just.. Wow. Of course I can. I will get to that after school today. Wow. I don't know what to say. Just thank you Good luck at the therapist btw! I'm proud of you

[@dominik8069]

Kovu is a unicorn omg I'm gonna cry, thank you so much 😭💜 best b-day gift ever hahah. I'm so proud of you too!! You're a beautiful person (my ig is @skyler.bravery)

[@Kovukingsrod]

Stylinmoonlight thank you so much, and it's an honour oh my💘 I'll tag you in it on IG. If you do get the tattoo, please tag me in a picture of it on there!!

[@dominik8069]

Kovu is a unicorn I will!! omg I'm so happy hahaha

[@AndreaNessHammer]

My parent's did not take it very well when I came out as bi/lesbian, and it was a horrible time for me, because I felt so guilty for years. i JUST had that same conversation with my parents where they both said sorry to me, and told me they literally don't mind who I come home with, as long as I'm happy and they treat me right. And it was like...a whole new world after that. I thought I was over their reaction and didn't care about what they thought of me, but only after they told me those things have I truly felt how much worry and shame was involved in their rejection.

[@kath.1060]

Man, your hair is fantastic!

[@jennyleighsinger1643]

AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Bless you!!!!!

[@hannahdrake9092]

you stay strong kovu ilysm

[@jaydee-mc7yc]

what drives you to keep changing the colour of your hair? and no matter what anyone says you are awesome! you are looking real healthy now so well done you. easy maths having a choice of a live son or a dead daughter is a no brainer. the one thing i wish for you is to be happy.

[@valeriebalog3123]

Love you Kovu!❤️

[@NotFeelingBlauw]

This is going to sound weird but I love the way you pronouns "s", it's so cute omfg. Also that hoodie looks great on you!! Oh wow I sound like a flower person.... It's 1 am I should get some sleep. Also I wish I could have these conversations with my father but like he's an ass so :(

[@thenovids77]

i've become the same with misgendering recently it's awful oh god dude, actually thinking about it now, i'd probably be the same as you are with ash if you were gone. you're wonderful. get on t, stay with us, keep on trying as you are.

[@Roachmaster69]

you inspire me so much luv you

[@lfroggyl8936]

This gives me hope

[@NoahKeegan]

Just wanted to let you know (since you said it's new info to you) that testogel (testosterone gel) works the same and has the same effects as testosterone injections. It's really all about the individual's preference for what they prefer as gel is daily and injections vary depending on the type (in the US they do every week or every other week but abroad it's typically nebido or something of that like that's every 3 months). Some people say the changes on gel are "slower" but that's not necessarily true. I started with injections and switched to gel bc it's more convenient for me but it has the same effects as injections do :) hope you're having a great day/night and sending good vibes your way as well :)

[@calebgoldsmith697]

I'm glad your parents have finally come around, everything seems a little bit easier when you have the support of your parents :) Also please remember to stay strong, look after yourself and don't hurt yourself. If you ever want someone to talk/vent to then feel free to message me on instagram (cal_goldsmith_) or facebook (i think we're already friends on facebook aha) Also thanks for the cookie xD

[@bruhmoment-ct7jr]

Can you make a video on how you came out to your school and everyone in your grade?

[@maryanncooke3660]

you are also very adorable and I am happy for you

[@emiliakaarlejarvi9221]

I love you kovu

[@hannahdrake9092]

I cant believe i havent watched this yet!!

[@lissschmidt1934]

hey Kovu love it no matter what you do ps your adorableXD

[@aliteralgoblin8761]

I go to an IB school it's amazing! I would recommend!

[@Olivia-zr6ui]

I thought about going to IB but I changed my mind when I heard about all the stress the stundents face during finals, and that's not something I would prefer since I'm already stressed out and I'm only in 9th grade (the last year of "regular school" in Sweden) so yeah...

[@wrennenthorn647]

As a transmasculine person, I absolutely feel the higher dysphoria thing. I'm 5'2" and probably won't grow any more. Usually short cis guys are at least 5'6" ish

[@tamsinunicorns3078]

At the begging of the year my teacher accidentally called me a boy and it felt great and I was happy that's when I started to research and I found out about all the different genders in the world as well as sexualities and how they can mix and interchange to be any combination in the world and now I know that I'm a transgender boy that is also pansexual but I don't know how to even begin to tell anyone and I'm dealing with major dysphoria (school councilors words.) Do you have any recommendations. Oh yeah and love you Kovu.

[@stormnation921]

I love you, also i need to tell my parents about me being trans, but i dont know how

[@Drummerdudegirl]

That's literally the same as what im trying to do!, get a second middle name, so I can still use it legally...but i'm not out soo...that won't happen..i'd have to wait a while

[@AndrewJBoyd87]

Thanks for the cookie.

[@ellielopez7101]

I'm ftm but not out yet. But like my mum and sister keeps saying my butt is big and my dad said my hips are huge. That made me feel horrible, I don't want a big butt or hips. Ugh.

[@vic-lucy]

Also, how did you come up with the name Kovu?

[@samwheeler421]

what did you do or say to your parents when they were unsupportive

[@olliever817]

Yesss psychology is cool

[@scorpiusmalf0y]

❤️💛💚💙💜

[@jordanblount8403]

Could you tell kovu was ftm before he came out?

[@Drummerdudegirl]

question..do u think its really bad or okay, to come out on fb?

[@mindartisostrisis5244]

I can really relate to you. i have a body that my relatives think is perfect. Im trans and I hate it.

[@Drummerdudegirl]

If you go on T, sometimes the fat redistrubtion will make your hips look a bit broader..that and working out for some people

[@shashing9070]

❤️

[@shashing9070]

Thank you for the cookie I love you so much

[@lizavozniuk4569]

I love you so fucking much seriously

[@jackkahn2532]

You know I really needed to hear what you said at the end.

[@MelissaRedman]

what's your facebook? if you don't mind me asking :D i came across your channel a while ago and although im not trans or anything i can relate to most of what you're saying xD can't wait to follow your journey :)

[@its_just_mathew1358]

How old where you when you came out ?

[@pxgarden2451]

I'm too are lonely and sad because I'm trying to understand my gender, but I'm so confused!

[@user-ke4hi2el5k]

How did you go through an eating disorder ?

[@JillSandwichXD]

gender dysphoria always comes with a serving of body dysmorphia, dont forget that. my opinion of my body and how well i pass changes with each mirror i look into, its crazy also dont forget that T changes a lot of ppl drastically, and possibly each little thing that changes in you when you start your treatment will feel like a gigantic victory, you can't even imagine how good it will be before it actually happens. just take care!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@evelinas8306]

I'm studying In an IB school in Latvia,I mean for me it's great,everyone is nice ,but I think you should go to a school that is more accepting.

[@alekss7378]

i wish my parents would say that ;)

[@buckethead1018]

Is it weird I reached for the cookie and ate it? 😂

[@koutashinji]

q for the friend: When did you and Kovu have the most fun together?

[@onionwoman_9698]

what was your friend's first reactions when you came out?did they have trouble getting used to it? did they mess up pronouns?

[@onionwoman_9698]

BTW Kovu, there are loads of trans people who you would never know are trans at all and look like "normal" guys all over the place. it might take some time but i believe in you

[@JDprk6742]

your body fat will distribute when you go on T. your hips will narrow a little and your chest will slightly shrink.

[@Drummerdudegirl]

what height are you?

[@aliteralgoblin8761]

How do you deal with the crap feeling people you're not confortable with coming out to misgendering you?

[@vic-lucy]

Did she notice a difference in how you acted when you figured out you were trans (before you came out)?

[@oliviarichie6857]

do Testosterone because it a lot better

[@baconyo7385]

How old were you when you realized you were trans?