Dutch VS American Dating Culture (VERY different)

The dating culture in the Netherlands has some very unique traits, especially when compared to the US. I decided to gather up a list of a few of the things that stood out to me based on my observations as well as things I've heard from others.
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#Dating #DutchCulture #Netherlands

[@exploringtheforeign]

*DISCLAIMER* There are many other dating groups that aren't covered in this video and relates more to what I experienced from having had a relationship with a Dutch woman or observations I've made from friends :) But what do you think of the points made?!

[@LiovaElise]

What you call dating, we call a relationship. When we are dating someone, we're just getting to know them and it's nothing serious yet.

[@TheSuperappelflap]

I dont know about you, but where I come from in the Netherlands, we dont do "dating". You go on one appointment together. It isnt called a date, its called an appointment, and you better not be late. After that, if you go on a second date, it is assumed to be exclusive. Going out with anyone else after the first date, if you dont say to the first guy or gal, I dont want to see you again, it s considered a bad thing, akin tot cheating. But maybe I was raised very traditionally in a small town. Apparently it is normal in the cities to do things like this.

[@Fluxquark]

@@TheSuperappelflap What you describe is not the norm AT ALL. Most people assume nothing unless you have a conversation and agree to be exclusive. Dating multiple people simultaneously is not unheard of (ever heard of "situationships"?)

[@stb7479]

​@@Fluxquarksituationships are the most ridiculous thing

[@Fluxquark]

@@stb7479 Yet they are not a rarity in certain social circles

[@luukjansen9135]

@@TheSuperappelflapin the city it works as follows: unless you make an agreement with the other person to be exclusive (what will most likely happen after atleast a month and multiple dates) you are not exclusive to each other. There are people who have multiple dates dates a week with different people and there are people who will be exclusive after the first date because they are really interested in the other, but unless you both agreed to be exclusive please don’t expect it.

[@renevaanhold]

My compliments for the nice locations you used for this video!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thanks, Rene! I just walk around and stop wherever catches my eye haha.

[@reneolthof6811]

@@exploringtheforeign Another René totally agrees! BTW, Carnaval in Oeteldonk is drawing near...

[@drancan]

Marriage is just a piece of paper. I lived 12 years with my now husband, before we got married. Back then it wasn’t arranged like it is now, so when we bought a house we decided to get married. Not with a big expensive ring, bridesmaids dressed, or a big party that would have costed a pretty penny. I bought a 2nd hand wedding dress, planned a party for close friends with a BBQ that we all did ourselves and had a friend who was a DJ. That’s something you hardly will see here in North America (I live in Canada now). It does my brain in that people spent 30 to 50 thousand on a one day event. 🤯 In my opinion, if you’re going to take on a debt, you’re better off spending that on a house. That’s Dutch logic. 😁

[@A55455In47I0n]

marriage is a divine contract between a man and woman, it's not just a piece of paper, if that was true, then wedding vows are useless

[@mandje2002]

@@A55455In47I0n Bullshit, a marriage is a contract between 2 people who love each other, does not necessarily have to be a man or a woman!! We don't live in the 50's anymore!! (spoken by the happy atheist single)

[@drancan]

@@A55455In47I0n LOL Maybe a lot of people in the US still think like that, but the majority of Dutch don’t. Marriage these days is more a convenience, or to just have that day. In the old days Marriage was looked up on as a contract, but the # of divorces shows it doesn’t mean anything. If people want to get married, by all means, but don’t box it that it’s only between a man and a woman! Love is love!

[@A55455In47I0n]

@@mandje2002 well if that's so then it simply isn't marriage anymore, God forbids it, marriage is God's rite, you can't change the rule of God... simple! If it's just a piece of paper then get your piece of paper, don't corrupt God's rite, this is for worshippers of God, let the same-sexers leave the churches alone in fact, i wonder why atheists even get married at all, it seems to be a leftover ritual from a more Christian age

[@newcomixx]

As a dutch woman I rather split the bill on dates, I always feel obliged to have to go home with the person if he pays for the entire bill, especially if its a lot. Splitting the bill doesn't make me owe him anything. And I know thats not the intention and it is very chivalrous and I respect that, but you guys have to see it from our perspective too. Sometimes I also offer to pay it and tell him next time he can pay (usually when I dont expect a 2nd date). And when they allow it they usually say: "I love emanicipation!" And they just adjust to the dutch culture. I really wouldn't mind if guys in NL are a bit more proactive in chasing girls tho, but I guess independant women created them this way. A lot of other northern european countries are a bit the same I believe.

[@exploringtheforeign]

I've heard this similar sentiment from other women and I completely understand.

[@asphalthedgehog6580]

Boys should be chasing girls in your opinion, but I think you are wrong there. Many boys are afraid to approach girls, certainly after meetoo#, and according to science, the female chooses the male, which is completely logical because the woman want the best offspring she can get. Furthermore, in my experience, the best and longest lasting relationships are those where the woman chased the man. A man, you know, has a way shorter wishlist than a woman.

[@TheSuperappelflap]

uhm. lot of different points here. i wll continue in English though. 1. I love paying for dates, and it annoys me a lot when women wont let me pay. One time, a girl I was seeing very briefly complained she had no money, so I offered to pay for her drink. She would not accept it. Then, she complained she ran out of stockings and couldnt buy new ones because she wasnt making much money. At the time I was already making a nice wage a few years after university, so I offered to buy her some stockings at HEMA for 5 euro. But her pride would not let me. It was very confusing for me because 5 euro was not a large amount of money for me at the time. We didnt go on more dates after that, and I felt sad for her. She's probably still broke and I really did like her. There would be no obligation on her part for me paying 5 euro for her. It wouldnt even cross my mind. 2. Guys cant be more proactive chasing girls because of the laws. You can very easily get in trouble with police for doing that, and go to court, then you may lose your job or get rejected from a future job opportunity because of annotation in your legal record. Even if you did nothing wrong. For one of my recent jobs, the company investigated my legal record, my personal debts, student loans, tax debt, and asked for statements from all my employers 5 years back, as well as demanding several government affadavits (VOG) If I had one legal complaint against me from a woman at that time, they would not have hired me. 3. Personally, I avoid talking to women on the street or at work very strictly unless they give me very obvious signals. I have a nice career and I cant risk losing my job due to police trouble. Over 60% of Dutch people that start relationships now meet on online dating apps. Its not about how women act, its just about the legal issues. 4. It makes me sad women here feel like you would have to sleep with a guy if he pays for a dinner. That should never be the case. If he offers, it should be because he likes you and not because he expects anything. If you do let the man pay on a date, then decline to go home with him, and he gets mad, that is a good reason never to see him again and block his phone number and all the apps. That is bad behaviour. That being said, leading a man on for free drinks or food, as has happened to me many times, is also bad. Just be honest. 5. If you let the man pay on the first date, you can pay on the second date, if you want to. If you dont want to continue, it would be polite to offer to pay for your own drinks. But, with my current girlfriend, I pay for all the dates, and the only thing I let her pay is flowers if we go visit my parents. So you dont have to split. If anything, if you like a man, please ask what he is comfortable with. 6. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a kiss. She said yes. Then I kissed her on the cheek. And she was surprised by that because most Dutch guys apparently go straight for the mouth. Dont do that, if you are dating over here as a guy. Its improper. It isnt romantic, and it wont make you look good.

[@Fluxquark]

As a Dutch man, I'm not very inclined to speak to strangers in general. I'm definitely not going to chat up attractive women I don't know, I don't want to bother them and I don't want to get rejected. If they are interested in me they can signal that and then I might approach them. Or they can start the conversation, it's 2024 after all.

[@dennyroozeboom4795]

Honestly I hate that. On a first date I usually don’t come with gifts or anything special to thank someone for their time (I’m usually the one asking after all). Whether it worked out or not it’s the smallest thing I feel to thank someone for the moment without putting pressure on it. You can usually tell during the date if someone is after something with pressure or just trying to be a decent human being.

[@italorossid]

Directness is something I greatly appreciated as a South American after my second time seeing a Dutch woman. A few messages later, she was very clear about she wanting to leave it as only friends. It's been more than a year and we're still friends, and even her partner joins us when we go to concerts. It's great fun, no drama, no bs, no hidden meanings or undertones when messaging or talking in person... and now I have two friends with awesome music taste!

[@brucepower3429]

😂

[@Beyond4137]

Wow I thought this was a channel with at least a hundred thousand subscribers, the quality of your content is so high! And as a Dutch woman dsting someone from Australia I definitely notice some of these things. I subscribed, looking forward to watching more of your videos.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Wow, thank you for this! One day I'll hit that number haha, but for now I'll just keep trying to put out the best videos possible🙌🏾

[@Sjaak2511]

I really liked how this was filmed, there must have gone a lot of effort into that

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thanks a lot for this! I tried my best to get some nice/creative shots🙏🏾

[@carolinavanderlande4904]

I think you have a very good grasp on Dutch society. It’s interesting to see it from a foreign perspective, but I fully agree with everything you say. Very good analysis.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you, Carolina! Nice to see my observations be confirmed haha.

[@nataelkerkhoven2165]

I agree! That was nothing that seemed even a bit untrue ☺️

[@Legend-ib9ik]

Hahahahaha Its me in the video, It was cool meeting you!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Ayyye! Haha, thanks for taking the time to help me out. I really appreciate it, man.

[@DatingBeyondBorders]

haha oh god - seeing myself in that old video was .. interesting. Great video!

[@BenjaminD84]

Nice to see you in my home town man! Great video, hope you had fun in Rotterdam 🙂

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thanks!🙌🏾😁 Yeah, I had a great time!

[@Anoniempie_]

Ooh wait till you find out about the student dating: rela, prela (pre relationship), kwarrel (qualitative scharrel), twarrel (twijfel scharrel), scharrel (not so serious dating). But in all seriousness, I think you had really valid points. We do tend to be direct and maybe not so possessive. But romantic side of dating in other cultures also seems great

[@shoelacedonkey]

Great video with some very clear & true points. Good to hear you've getting used to and even appreciate "the Dutch way". I guess they don't call splitting the bill 'Going Dutch' for no reason. 😄 P.s. funny how you keep hopping from Amsterdam to Rotterdam and back (and perhaps some other places I didn't recognise). Smoothly edited also. 👌

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you! 😁 And yeah haha, I didn't finish all of my filming in Rotterdam, so I had to get some shots in Amsterdam.

[@CreoleSpirit1800]

I love these concepts you mentioned. It seems like the pressure from external expectations take a backseat to putting the focus on really getting to know someone. Also, less aggressive men…yay!🎉 thanks for the video😊

[@thomasvannoort7916]

This must be the next channel that's going to explode, amazing content :) Subscribed

[@exploringtheforeign]

Huge thanks for that!

[@Turbokees]

Great vid again, Sam!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thanks!!

[@douweevenhuis9812]

Amazing video as always man, super Fan!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you!!😁

[@charlesmolen5482]

Very good video as usual.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you!

[@geeache1891]

Great video, nicely shot at typical but inconspicuous dutch daily life scenery!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you!

[@Timotheskyrimfan]

Good videos they are always fun😊

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you 😃 Glad you like them!

[@user-hd4xu3oq5u]

Wauw I totally agree! Good job! New subscriber!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you! And thanks for the sub!

[@maanveerarora531]

great stuff!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you!

[@Mofudos]

Great editing and great information presented in the video. Your charisma is top notch, bro! Keep up the great work, I kinda feel like I want to date a Dutch chick now lol

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you, man! And haha, go for it! Just remember these tips😂

[@pilot3344]

Man, I appreciate your passion to travel from Rotterdam to Amsterdam and then back to Rotterdam and then back to record the next 10 seconds of the video!

[@exploringtheforeign]

😂😂 you picked up on that haha

[@mattgiant8836]

Solid video. As a Dutch man I agree with your observations. To me, jealousy and the tendency to control are weaknesses of character. We as Dutch people always have been quite independent (male and female) and individually like to make our own choices, not depending on peer pressure or cultural 'musts'. This feels comfortable and gives selfcontrol over our own situations and choices. It might take away a bit of romance sometimes and I do see more people going towards a more 'old fashioned gender based lifestyle' in their relationships eventually, as a reaction to the overload of independence the previous 3 decades. But overall Dutch people will always just do things their own way anyway.

[@Navajoias-ur6sn]

Yeah,the tradwives ate trending 😅

[@johnstafford7288]

You certainly have learnt a lot i have never dated a Dutch person though have some very close friends. I came here after my love moved from the UK though like many things here i like their way of dating and friendship. So you certainly got around Rotterdam a lot Welcome to my new home town hope you enjoyed what you managed to see in the time you were here. Enjoy the day and the coming weekend.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you! It was definitely fun to film and explore a little around Rotterdam😁

[@TomBroenink]

I agree with Dutch men taking less initiative generally, but I think it's a side effect of the equality. The fact that men and women feel quite equal - which shows through women wanting to pay for dates as well - has resulted in men thinking: "Why should I take all the initiative when we're equal?". Also, if you DO take more initiative, there's a risk of getting reactions like from the women at 2:16, where women might consider you old-fashioned or trying too hard. There seems to be a bit of a paradox going on where women want to feel completely equal to men (and rightfully so), but at the same time deep down want the man to take a more traditional approach. Not saying any of this is a good or a bad thing, just my observations.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Interesting!

[@soulangela7154]

I think it might also be a part of growing up with foreign media, in which the stereotypical gender roles where the guy takes initiative to get a girl are romanticized. We don't typically see a lot of romance media where the girl is actively asking out the guy. I think this might also play a bit into it.

[@TomBroenink]

@@soulangela7154 Ah yes good point!

[@ibrahimozgursucu3378]

As a Turk born in the Netherlands, who turned Atheist and (thought) to be completely culturally assimilated and even hated being Turkish at some point; the priority of freedom and individualism over social rules and collectivism is what made me do a 180. Right now I'm preparing to move to some other country, likely Turkey. My name literally translates into freedom and I never thought I'd say this but I guess there's such a thing as too much of everything; fuck freedom.

[@--jan--]

Move to a authoritarian theocracy and see how you like that. Nb perhaps you are a bit blind for the more subtle but existing social rules and collectivism in the Netherlands.

[@ibrahimozgursucu3378]

@@--jan-- Naaaah, Turkey, Bosnia, Greece, etc. These countries sound more to my liking, since I am an Atheïst moving to a theocracy wouldn't make much sense. Hell as much as I hate the U.S., the way this guy described it I might even prefer the way social interaction works over there.

[@--jan--]

@@ibrahimozgursucu3378 depends of course where you are...amsterdam is a different world than the Dutch bible belt or the south. Some countries are more about honesty and less about being polite. And some countries are not so honest but very polite...dependswhat you prefer. I am Dutch and from the south. I think the Dutch from the north of the Randstad exaggerate the honesty thing. There is such a thing as civilty, 'hoffelijkheid'. You are allowed to say almost everything, but as the dad of Theo van Gogh said: that doesn't mean you HAVE to say it.

[@TregMediaHD]

Hey Sam. Ik kan niet wacht op je interview met hxC soon, my 3 questions to you both are 1 .i am a Brit, living near enough 17 years here in NL, i miss the 'Tesco' meal deal, the proper engliah banter, and Hills, what are 3 things you guys have your home sickness for,? 2nd question comes in my second Binge video next

[@johnveerkamp1501]

goed gedaan Sam !

[@exploringtheforeign]

Dankjewel!

[@TerryVogelaar]

As you noticed, dating is taken more seriously over here. This also is reflected in the language. "Verkering hebben" implies 'being together' and 'relating', while "dating" sounds much more like 'having appointments'; something I could have with platonic friends.

[@itsmederek1]

I really disagree, in NL it is quite normal to date somebody for many months before it becomes an exclusive relationship which only happens after a serious discussion. Dating is almost taken less seriously but exclusive relationships are taken more seriously if that makes sense, things like cheating etc being much less common in NL.

[@gerlinde8875]

I'm Dutch and I would agree with your observations.

[@davidbiloen5037]

Good job on making my city look good :-) Something which I think you may not yet be fully aware of is how very very "structured" Dutch society is. This is also the reason behind what you have noticed about the long standing friendships people have. In Dutch society you quickly get into a "niche" through the school system, and through sport clubs etc. Typically when two Dutch people that don't know each other meet, they will quite quickly find a common aquintance. For instance: where did you go to school? Oh, do you know so and so? If you have a higher education you normally interact almost exclusively with other people that have the same. Etc. This in my experience is a very big difference to the States, where not "everyone knows everyone", also because people more frequently move far away cross country I think.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you! And I've definitely noticed the "strucuted" part of Dutch society. I've discussed this point in a few videos :) But good that you share it more here!

[@atropatene3596]

I never really "dated". I just met guys in like a bar or friend's party setting and then we'd hang out again and again and then we would just suddenly hang out just the two of us. But it was never like "let's go to the cinema together and have dinner" or whatever. We'd always just hang out with friends, and then hang out without those friends. The whole dating culture I feel is fairly new here and was mostly brought on by American television.

[@RomyElizabeth]

I’ve never visited Holland, but would like to! The dating culture seems very similar to the Nordic one & honestly I’m not super into it. I think we lose something special when all the courting is taken away. But of course there are benefits. Like the relative independence & more relaxed socializing.

[@margreetknol5817]

Yeah i think u are right about everything 🎉

[@Hadewijch_]

As a Dutch woman I would like to add that it is polite to let her know that you perceive an proposed joined activity to be a romantic date in order to prevent wrong expectations. Otherwise she might think that you just ask her in a friendly rather than romantic way to undertake a joined activity. She will probably prefer to meet at a neutral public place, that way she has an out to leave if she feels that the date has come to its natural conclusion. Inviting her on a first (few) date(s) to come to your place, might be a bit too much coming on to her and is just weird. Meeting at her house makes it more difficult for her to ask you to leave once the time comes, because she will probably try to be polite about it, and not all men are good in picking up diplomatic signals. Dating means getting to know each other. Dating is usually not exclusive. There is no issue to date multiple people at once until you decide to proceed with one partner in particular. It isn't a relationship until that point. People will consider themselves single while dating until they have the talks and agree with a partner that they are an actual couple. Do not give her jewellery or pay expensive stuff for her on your dates. It will make Dutch woman uncomfortable and in her mind she will constantly thinking about ways to repay you. Which is very distracting during a date and you want her to think about you after all, not about repaying gifts. Dutch women don't like the feeling of owing something to others or, worse, the thought of being bought. We are not whores after all (unless you date a prostitute). Also, no touching unless she lets you know that she is okay with it. We Dutch women like our personal space and you can't go wrong by just asking. Don't be surprised if the woman you invite to a date might just show up at this date on a squeaking old grandma bike wearing her comfy clothes. Activities that she is interested in give you a higher chance of a successful date. Try to be prepared by taking a glance on her instagram if it is public or ask a friend what her interests are. Some Dutch woman might like to go the natural history museum, others to a flea market or doing a survival run. You could also just ask her what she likes to do, but it can't hurt to prepare a few suggestions. Also, you can't go wrong with lunch or dinner in a restaurant for a first date. She might want to pay her own share of dinner or drinks if you two have some together. It is a way to show our independence and self sufficienty, which are seen as positive characteristics to take pride in. You may offer to pay her part, but she might find it slightly insulting and definitely uncomfortable if you keep on pushing to pay after she declined your offer. Also, if she would agree to go on a second date, you'll know that it is because she enjoyed your company and not because she owes you anything or likes you for your money. She might want to have sex with you on your first date, on your third or on your twentieth date or not at all. There is no wrong or right in this as long as you respect the other person’s wishes. Talking about it is the key element in this. Be honest about your wishes, preferences and intentions. And ask her what she wants, don’t assume. Dutch women typically despise “being chased”. We are a straight talking people and will generally tell what we do and do not want. There is no ambiguity in our communication. “No” means “no”. “No” does definitely not mean “yes” or “maybe” or “later”. Not accepting her “no” is the fastest way for you to loose her respect for you. I don't know if this is a typical Dutch thing, but as a Dutch woman, I appreciate compliments about my personality, accomplishments, skills and intelligence way more than compliments about my looks or fashion sense. This point probably is true for all women in the world, but when dating, don't just keep talking about yourself. Show an interest in her as a person, in her hobbies, holidays, background, work, social life etc. Many Dutch women (and men) have friends of the other gender. There is nothing suspicious or weird about that. It is just friendship and they make fun and do activities with their friends, no matter what gender. And most important: when in doubt, ask the lady. She won't mind you asking, if you explain that you are unfamiliar with the Dutch dating customs. If I think of anything more, I'll add.

[@JennaHasm]

You are being taken for a fool. You're just a cheap hole for these men. Men don't give two cents for a woman's competence or accomplishments. Only date the men that have built your country, that allowed you to flourish. Not these deadbeat leaches. Watch the called "women past 35 are useless",

[@rutgerb]

Pfff ben ik blij dat geen Nederlandse date. Wat een lijst zeg. Heeft 'zij' ook wat te bieden naast een 20 pagina dikke handleiding?

[@Hadewijch_]

@@rutgerbwat bedoel je met “heeft zij ook wat te bieden”? Dit is geen lijst met eisen of zo. Dit gaat niet over bieden of eisen. Dit gaat over cultuurverschillen die misverstanden en verkeerde verwachtingen kunnen veroorzaken. Maar het staat je vrij om lekker aan te modderen hoor.

[@TregMediaHD]

❤ go watch it again, Greetings from NL , love Richard

[@worf792]

This change of view on marriage is also only from the last few decades. In my opinion, this is not necessarily due to Dutch culture but to various factors such as secularisation, modernisation and individualisation. I'm married more because of my reigious view and those components that are relevant. If I were not reigious, I wouldnt be married either.

[@RoroSky]

Great video, as always! Love the scenery! If I could date any city in the Netherlands, Rotterdam is whom I would date! 😍😂

[@exploringtheforeign]

Hey Roro haha, you guys gotta come back to visit! Thank you for watching😃🙌🏾

[@marijnelecomte928]

Dutch here. Buying a house together or having kids is a bigger commitment then getting married. Married is just a very expensive piece of paper. Commitment has many faces: like having kids together

[@1trompet146]

I’m Dutch and yes, good observations!

[@MichelBaek]

Independent Dutch women are great. No acting like a Disney princess. But you already know that with your girlfriend 😉. Great video Sam. ❤❤❤

[@black4pienus]

This Dutch woman hates the color pink! And most things girlie. Yeah, I would suck as a Disney princess. Hahaha.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Appreciate it, Michel!

[@mtcsypkens]

Great video again! One thing I kind of disagree on is being serious with dating. I think that has to do with the way we use the term in Dutch compared to in English. In Dutch, I usually see the term 'dating' used at the start of getting to know someone. Also, most people will have dates with different people. The next phase is then really being in a relationship. That is indeed very serious even without planning to or getting married. In English 'dating' and 'being in a relationship' feels more interchangeable. I did actually get married. The question I got asked most is: are you getting kids? I don't have any and don't plan to. People found it really weird that I still wanted to get married. 😂

[@exploringtheforeign]

I see your point! I think it is quite often used interchangeably in English. But I recognize the distinction🙌🏾

[@exploringtheforeign]

And haha, as I said in the video, wherever works for you and your partner😁

[@liesbethboesjes3307]

Jaloezie is verspilde tijd, als het goed zit, zit het goed, leuke video weer!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Goed gezegd! En dankjewel!

[@K55365]

Very interesting view 👌

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thanks!

[@H1SCOTTY]

I can’t imagine going steady for a few years and marrying that person. My longest relationship was a year so maybe seeing myself in such a long relationship is unlikely all together. My brother asked his girlfriend after twelve years to marry and that’s four years ago and they’re still not upfront with this to the world. Just family and a few friends know about this. My sister married after seven years and in those days it wasn’t that common I believe there is nowadays a upward trend, more the special locations the famous or friended “babs” (wedding officiant), or the other way around the budget marriage on a Monday afternoon and no religious ceremony without a big celebration. Three of my friends (one known from school a two years younger than about ten years old and a classmate brother of the fourth friend the other since high school befriended our original friend group so also twenty to twenty five years ago) are ten fifteen and about twenty years together the first two with children a other one married with kids. But still really traditional all because it’s not unusual married couples divorce or couples with registered partnership part, but it isn’t common. One friend had a relationship of about three years two kids and they broke up, but it isn’t typical for the Netherlands (guess it’s because we’re living almost all in a little town. what is more serious about dating I would think the first five dates towards going steady is dating otherwise you defined it otherwise. I’ve had a “relationship” that I defined later as such what I’ve thought to be friends with benefits “and then she gone spoiled it all by telling me…” if she could date others and I however I didn’t she was allowed I wasn’t under the impression we were exclusive. 😂

[@jeffafa3096]

I've dated a woman who got divorced once. She told me she really regretted plunging into marriage at a young age, and she felt like she missed out on a lot in her life because of the kids they had together. Sadly, our short relationship kind of became her "rebel moment". She was almost 10 years older than me (I was 30, she was 39) and I still felt like I had to drag her through life, which is what finally ended things between us. I wanted a partner, she wanted to re-live her life, all because of that early marriage...

[@black4pienus]

Something like that happened to me too, but the other way around. Got in a relationship when I was 16, till I was 25. I felt like a prisoner the last years of that relationship. So when I was 'free' (yay) I wanted to party and date different guys. I crushed hard on a younger dude (5 yrs younger) when I was 27, but also was still partying all the time. So it didn't work out. We even tried a second time 6 months later. It was just the wrong time in my life to start anything serious, but that didn't mean I never had feelings for anyone that time.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Aw man, I'm sorry to hear this. I hope everything still worked out for you in the end with someone else🙌🏾

[@dutchyjhome]

Hey Sam, 27 years of marriage here, wasn't always easy but turns out to be much more valuable every year we're together. Trust me on this; it's not always sunshine and Rose leafs but more Sweet Leaf (song by Black Sabbath) and later on Embryo (song by Black Sabbath) and when all was well again it was like Children of the Grave (song by Black Sabbath) oh yeah🤘 In fact listen to the entire album "Master of Reality" by Black Sabbath, now we're talking 🤘 We're very happy together, just as long as we can play this music LOUD every now and then ;-) But this also goes for Motörhead, Metallica, Pantera and Rammstein, so yeah bring it on

[@exploringtheforeign]

Haha dit is heel leuk om te lezen🙏🏾

[@dimrrider9133]

I love modern architecture and i love your videos 😎 But New Kids is the real G 🤣🤣🤣 Jaja ik kom uit Brabant jonguh ;p

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you! Glad you caught the New Kids haha

[@vattenflick]

I spent the whole video admiring your dimples, Sam. 😅 Great video! (probably)

[@cherylh.1537]

He gets them from his momma❤😂

[@exploringtheforeign]

😂😂😂 thank you!

[@wgsips]

Note: marriage costs a lot of money, if you want it all, big party,reception honeymoon etc.., bride and groom pay everything themselves here, as maybe in the USA the parents pay for it..? ... At least that was common with my family in Michigan USA.. And "samenwonen" in the Netherlands is kind of a marriage, you live together as a married couple I first started out with dating, then "samenwonen" and then marriage (already 22 yrs this year😉)

[@evni6208]

That part of relationship group sounds very reconizeble you should definitely dive deeper into my feeling that this has to do with how dutch folks live. Very small town orientated.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Could make for an interesting video, yeah!

[@timnguyen9348]

boi, you were filming right outside my place 😂

[@exploringtheforeign]

You gotta say hi next time! Haha Which scene?

[@timnguyen9348]

at 0:26 - hope you had a great time in 010

[@michalovesanime]

Ive been with my partner for 6 years. We arent going to get married at all, most likely we'll probably just register as partners for the benefits😏. I have no urge to get married( or even have kids), it never was an appealing prospect to me either even as a kid. That may be strange, to people outside of the Netherlands, especially since Im a woman and my boyfriend wouldnt mind ( he just doesnt care either way so He isnt the reason it hasnt happend) ,I just dont care about the whole thing. My relationship isnt less serious just because I dont have a ring. My relationship is just as serious as my parents relationship, who are married. People do everything the same, and have the same expectations of loyalty and commitment. Im commited to my partner and he is to me, we share a home and pets etc. Thats enough for me personally. But get married if you want to! Im not against marriage ,its just not something I want

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you for sharing! Interesting for others too see this perspective😃

[@ay.maripoxa]

Question, is it common or accepted to stay in touch with ex's in the Netherlands? I saw a Facebook post about this but not sure

[@Navajoias-ur6sn]

Many times exes will become friends or at least good acquaintances but that depends on how people split up of course! I guess it's the same in other countries? But if they keep in contact,I guess it's mostly out of free will because independent dutch are clear/ honest what they want. If not, then there are other reasons for that...financial obligations or dependency,kids, pets,shared house( hold) etc.

[@releasethekraken5039]

I'd say it's a lot more common to not stay in touch with an ex but of course there are examples of people remaining in contact on good terms.

[@dazy03]

Some people just dont believe in the marriage fairytale or dont want the effort/cost of getting married. Its actually kinda common (atleast for girls and SO's) to ask if they ever want to get married

[@optimize.]

“Don’t judge me for it.” Once you’re truly integrated, you won’t care about others’ opinion as long as you’re authentic and honest.

[@djbasbijleveld]

Being married in The Netherlands can be very economically disadvantaged to you, plus people tend to live together for a great number of years before getting married because of the divorce rate. And many men do not like the idea of loosing half their stuff in case of a divorce.

[@ruurdsanders]

This information is even useful for Dutch people dating someone from their own nationality 🤣

[@exploringtheforeign]

😂😂😂

[@jaycparr17]

Planning two weeks ahead? Wow that’s a lot of time haha

[@BVN92]

I'm almost starting to think that you are the twin brother of Chuba Akpom! He is a football player from Ajax Amsterdam in the Netherlands.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Haha, I see the resemblance!

[@misskaedy]

One time me and this cute Dutch guy were flirting but I was sad because he never asked for my contact details. I know I'll never get the experience of a Dutch guy flirting with me ever again.

[@j.m.b.7449]

100% agreed hahaha =P 13y no marriage only registered partnerships. Any statement made in this video seems relatable to me, or at the very least recognizable from people around me dating / being partners!

[@exploringtheforeign]

Haha this is great to hear🙌🏾 congrats on your partnership!

[@j.m.b.7449]

@@exploringtheforeign mucho gracias brother!

[@bramsanden4864]

Accurate

[@maartenvz]

I feel the big question is not: do you want to marry me? But instead: do you wanna try and raise kids with me? This decision has such a big impact on your life and having kidd can put a lot of stress on a relationship. Ofcourse this is not as romantic but i feel romantisism is overblown anyway. Perhaps thats a Dutch way to look at it :). On a lighter note i like your observation on materialism. I feel dating should be about: what common ground/ideas/interests do we have? And how emotionally mature is the other person. Sure, having fun is most important if you are just looking for casual.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Great way to look at it! And thanks for the kind feedback🙏🏾

[@cglygz]

Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from!😂 But, has living in the Netherlands changed the way you see things?

[@typical_pothead4205]

3:25 it says GF on the wall, this feels intentional

[@exploringtheforeign]

Haha, I didn't even think of that, but I guess it was meant to be!

[@typical_pothead4205]

@@exploringtheforeign I guess it was, your locations where you film are always awesome, keep up the great videos 👍👍

[@exploringtheforeign]

Thank you!

[@TregMediaHD]

Comment b4 viewing proper, greetings from (tredge) Richard

[@TregMediaHD]

Algoor rythmn Bee XXX'ed

[@8alakai8]

i am dutch and i dont go for a women they all came to me but my friends where not like me going out when going hoem they where always like dude wy are you not with that girl to me hahaha

[@8alakai8]

in the like 2010s when i had a girlfriend long term living togheter had this with multible when going out to eat so dress up etc and she would give me her bank card so it would look like i would pay and they said they like me taking care of it its not the money just that i do it

[@labombaNL]

I don’t agree on what you say about the term dating. In the Netherlands when you say you are dating, it means it is nothing official yet.

[@jttheijs3058]

I completely recognize everything you said in this video. As a dutch woman: Pros of dutch dating: - equal gender roles in dating culture. I feel like by paying my part, I dont feel the pressure to have to offer something back, since the other is paying - in my groups its very normal to hang out with guys that youre not dating. Often still in groups, but one on one is also possible, without it being romantic or sexual or anything. I also often hang out with couples together, like with the tree of us (im not in a relationship) Cons: - I kind off dont like the way dutch guys are always presenting as hard to get. You dint have to be anoyingly approaching me, but a little bit more effort is appreciated - Sometimes I would like a bit more “princess treatment”, nothing crazy, but holding the door for me or saying i look good in an outfit is not too much to ask I think if we’re together😂

[@exploringtheforeign]

Glad my observations aren't off! :)

[@edev6070]

Honestly as a Dutch woman I find it spot on.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Dankjewel!

[@cherylh.1537]

Put a ring on it👰🏾‍♀️ because your momma wants to attend your wedding😘💕💕🥰

[@exploringtheforeign]

😅😂

[@hugoblack4096]

This video is pretty good at this moment but 10 years ago the Dutch dating culture was like Zimbabwe or Iceland. Just kidding, dating culture is not just about a location but also about.. well everthing any person can imagine these days! They loving Those, Them loving These, in the end, as long as you don't bother and "they" cross the line to far, we all can live happy all together can't we?

[@Wielie0305]

Hahahaha, new kids 😎. Even after 30 years my wife still thinks it’s a nightmare to date a Dutch person… I hope she means me 🤣. We got married after 10 years. We were expecting our first girl and we wanted things be taken care of legally. No big party, but dinner with friends and familie. More like an agreement.

[@exploringtheforeign]

😂😂 sounds like you guys are doing just fine!

[@borisvantuijl2980]

The new kids 😂😂

[@exploringtheforeign]

😂😂 important detail!

[@louisvacca8565]

Video amazing but the fit awesome.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Haha, thank you!

[@MarjoleinNoyceBellingaMobiel]

Fun when a video makes something that was obvious for me suddenly "Dutch". And I'm married to a Brit :D . I have friends who have been with their partner for >25 years, have kids, bought houses and never married. I also know people who married after a number of years for practical reasons. And some marry sooner, for romantical reasons. It's all fine, it's a personal choice and does not really make a difference for the people around you.

[@exploringtheforeign]

Haha🙌🏾 and yup, whatever works for the couple😃

[@optimize.]

Holland is #1

[@MokumHVB]

The Dutch men running to my comments 😂

[@exploringtheforeign]

Lmao!

[@techno6106]

Per usual the Dutch ways are way ahead of the Americans

[@kimvanweezep3719]

For my taste, even though I’m Dutch, guys are being a bit too distant

[@exploringtheforeign]

Haha interesting! Maybe this video will change that haha

[@kimvanweezep3719]

@@exploringtheforeign I hope so:) Thank you for raising awareness

[@saskiax6035]

C'mon Dutch guys, give out more compliments

[@exploringtheforeign]

😂

[@leonardoluc6362]

Omg fantasy & b.s.

[@dutchdykefinger]

i think you're absolutely correct lol but that's why i think we are culturaly northern european, we tend to be a bit reserved