E87: Should Muslim Men Marry Single Moms? Multiple Wives & Divorce w. Sgt. Lourdes Loyola

[@Particularlynosy]

Great conversation- took my shahada recently. Proud to be a Mexican Muslim ❤

[@cheikhdiagne5369]

I’m looking for a Latina Muslim wife if u available 😊

[@mookfarooq]

Welcome Welcome Welcome 🙏

[@cheikhkandji3002]

I am reading that, may Allah strengthen your faith ❤

[@htcused]

Alhamdulillah May Allah(swt) bless you and all Muslim ummah!

[@jorgerinu44]

Welcome to the cult

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

Probably unrelated, but its important to know that Perfect marriages or relationships don't exist; each one is unique. What suits Adam may not suit Peter. Nonetheless, I've learned that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were facing divorce due to challenges in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a tough period, but we survived

[@BruceKnapp-n4q]

The wisdom in your words resonates deeply, and I genuinely wish my emotions echo yours. Despite our current distance, I cannot envision my life without her; my love for her is unwavering. I crave her return, and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it happen. We've explored different avenues, such as therapy, in our efforts to mend our relationship

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

Learning to let someone you love go is always a tough journey, but in my case, I had the wisdom of a spiritual mentor who kept my marriage from crumbling. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@BruceKnapp-n4q]

I appreciate your direction. I'll swiftly look her up online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will bring about positive changes for me too; her absence is deeply felt.

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

You definitely should

[@thewarrior4724]

Jazakallah

[@ghufranshareef3699]

Having two wives is better than having illegal relationships with average 8 women in America alone.

[@Moderator.]

How about having two husbands than having illegal relationships with average 5 men in America alone?

[@ghufranshareef3699]

@@Moderator. Is it allowed in your religion?

[@jabbar.tengah]

@@Moderator. polygamy is for saving these women..

[@mahbubahmed7]

@@Moderator. It's not the same. Nature does not allow women to do it. How would you identify the father if the woman gets pregnant? It's not possible to find out without the use of technology. Therefore, a woman can have only one husband.

[@janelee-xt1xs]

Having no wife is better than marrying a female that goes against the law and prevent the children from being raised by the father. because that is the same with having relationship with 8 females. And in fact it could be worse since it could be as if you worship a different god if you think doing something forbidden is okay. Its one thing admitting you are doing something wrong its another saying that the law of god is wrong.

[@iNikkah]

Although I don’t agree with her stance of military participation, she is right about Muslim men marrying non Muslims- it’s a massive risk that can go horribly wrong and given that we need our sisters to be married to Muslims- we can understand her frustration may Allah grant our people righteous spouses ameen

[@abcxyz3028]

I believe it's because a muslim man can marry people of the book. But sadly, the people of the book now are different from back then. Plenty of problems arise in upbringing and even in high profile marriage post divorce eg Imr Khan.

[@kobiewilliams1153]

Muslim women demand too high of dowery and the womens parents usually have too high expectations.

[@OpaLockaOutlaw305]

It seems also that the ummah is in disarray bc muslimahs marry non Muslim men… I don’t think Muslim women nowadays want to marry Muslim men! Just look at the mahr 🤦🏿‍♂️

[@janelee-xt1xs]

Honey, the problem with females not being able to marry is because females want to prohibit what is permissible. Basically committing shirk. There would be no issue of females not being able to get married if men marry 4 females.

[@redpanther9380]

Muslim women demands are higher then non Muslim women, you can do nikaah and not register marriage an live like gf/bf a Muslim women won't do it Cu they want the benefits of Islamic laws and western laws but responsibilities of non. Look at the Muslim women demands in the west so non Muslim women is the best choice

[@sarfrazrazvi5979]

May Allah Azza wajjal bless her, keep her and her family on the straight path and answer all her duas Ameen. Very calm and humble person. The difference between a believer and disbeliever is the practicing of the Salah.

[@harisinam4078]

It's Shahada. Dont make up lies.

[@sarfrazrazvi5979]

@@harisinam4078 I guess I have clearly touched a nerve, no lies, here is the evidence. Allah has made clear to obey Allah and the messenger. The hadith FYI Buraidah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "That which differentiates us from the disbelievers and hypocrites is our performance of Salat. He who abandons it, becomes a disbeliever." [At-Tirmidhi].

[@sarfrazrazvi5979]

PS you really need to Learn your religion Shahada consists of action on belief. Action being to believe in the articles of faith without doubt and to carry out the 5 pillars/commands of Allah.

[@harisinam4078]

@sarfrazrazvi5979 do you even know what belief is? It's Belief in Allah, books, messengers, angels, day of judgment, and good and bad fate and after life. What you mentioned are 5 pillars of Islam, and they come for practice. Allah is beyond a man's worship, responsibility, religion, and ways. Don't put him behind.

[@harisinam4078]

No, you haven't touched any nerves instead of pushing, bad marketing that doesn't even work in Muslim majority countries.

[@ChicagoAbes]

I would like to add that divorced Muslim men with children are struggling with similar problems

[@samjon6403]

Not really that bad compared to single moms

[@mohammada3116]

@@samjon6403 pologony is there. she has no excuses

[@ehsanalhaq8917]

Divorce is a trick of the devil to destroy multiple lives. No one wins in a divorce other than the devil. It’s the worst halal Allah swt allowed for Muslims.

[@monicag6715]

Single moms usually have a very hard time finding a husband - perhaps single dads would be the best option for them. No sane human being wants to deal with other kids.

[@shaheermannan7540]

This is not the first podcast where Khadija RA is being quoted to suit their agenda but most of the Muslim pseudo-feminist uses her example as out of context and cherry-picking, to suit their agenda. Some of the cherry-picking that I have heard from the life of the mother of believers, Khadija RA 1. She was a working business-woman, hence we should also work and mingle and then go on extending it to all sorts of un-Islamic work environments and whatnot. 2. She was a single mother and Prophet Mohammad (Peace be upon him) was never married, hence Muslim men should marry single mothers and follow his path. This is classic quoting out of context and cherry-picking only what suits Muslim feminists these days. The fact is also that: 1. Khadija RA was a business woman but she never traveled or mingled with men. She used to send male members for her business and used to stay at home. She was always a pious woman. She chose Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) who was working under her and he was not as wealthy as her. She didn't choose a businessman with 6 figure salary, having bungalow, and luxury cars and an endless list. Can feminists choose a humble and poor man??!!! 2. After marriage with Prophet PBUH she never continued with her business. 3. She was the first one to accepted the word of the Prophet when the revelation came to the Prophet (PBUH) when nobody believed him. Khadija RA stood with Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) through all the hardship and obeyed him without a doubt. She was the best wife among all his wives. 4. She not only gave up all her money and business to charity when the Prophet (PBUH) told her so but also they chose a humble life. 5. When Khadija RA died, they didn't even have money for the funeral clothes. That was her love and conviction upon her husband, Prophet PBUH. Therefore whenever feminists quote as a cherry-picking to suit their agenda, please read the seerah of Prophet Mohammad PBUH, please. Humble request, please do not use Islam as a tool for their whims and fancies. Say that you believe in so and so, which is fine as we all are free to our rational but please do not use Islam to justify the act.

[@rizvi14]

Underrated comment, but no one wants to hear this. It's too uncomfortable for the type of life and identity that people want in the West. We have completely forgotten about the piety that Islam is supposed to bring us towards.

[@hashh2019]

yea may be they should use the example of Ayesha ra that fought with him many times and broke the dishes and food from other wives while she was not a business woman or with her own money and she even went to war with another caliph riding camels.

[@mubarakathumani8005]

very good comment, went unnoticed

[@LouisaLouisa-n9g]

You know you're saying nonsense I hope ? .....your comment is typical of Redhill mixed with islam...... Look, it's simple, being in business isn't haram, women can do it as long as they don't trespass haram..... And yes khadidja had to send men to do her business, because as of today, men are more intimidating and more suitable for making business with men..... But no, no one said in the sirra she stopped sending her marchandises to gain profit.... That you lie..... The sirra suggests the exact opposite because the prophet peace upon him lived in ease with her until the boycott.... And it wasn't his money, so technically either he dealt with her business, or they sent someone else, but her business never stopped...... Please , the blame you're directing to feminists is exactly the same you should direct to yourself... Each one is misleading by omitting to mention the whole story in order to fit either an extreme feminist or masculinist agenda

[@israafaraj3520]

Truth said right here

[@moneylineparlay105]

The same way poor men should not expect to marry the most beautiful women, why would they expect to have the best of the best men as older, divorcees with children?

[@SheedLordBear]

Because they always thing the game should favor them

[@woopazipper]

I thought that was obvious, most men aren't that delusional. On the other hand, we see a lot of social media post by single mothers demanding men to "step up" and take care of them lol.

[@JEAGERlST]

You do realise the prophet ﷺ did so?

[@Alexander44665]

​@Hassan-ki4unWomen like Khadija are almost extinct.

[@SheedLordBear]

@@Alexander44665 💯.. the prophet did this with Khadeejah. The prophet also married many wives but they don’t wanna talk about that

[@Rifle672]

I’m a 23 year old Muslim living in the UK and married for two years. I already am open towards having a second wife. Not just for desires but the masculine urge to care for another Muslim woman. Polygamy needs to be more common to advance the Muslim society.

[@Prince-nv5fw]

I have 3. One for monday and wednesday One for tue and friday and One for wed and sath. Sunday we all get together at night.

[@ktx93]

@@Prince-nv5fw Sunday we all get together at night?

[@maftunamaston]

@@ktx93he is a troll stop responding to these people

[@Prince-nv5fw]

@@ktx93 in bed group thing

[@ktx93]

@@Prince-nv5fw oh have your mother done that with ton of men in bed because you seems to be Christian and okay in your religion lol

[@samjon6403]

Wifing up a single mom and non Muslim potentially has bad consequences. Be careful and understand them guys before taking that decision.

[@sarahm4516]

and a single father, divorced man, non muslim arent good options for muslim women either, its strange men seem to have a blind spot when it comes to themselves, do you think a never married beautiful woman with options, wants a divorced man? or a man who already has a wife or children? No, no she doesn't

[@affieuk]

The Prophet did it, so please keep your opinion to yourself. However I don't disagree with your suggestion in general marriage is a serious matter so think before going ahead, are you ready, etc.

[@samjon6403]

@@affieuk it is suicidal to do that in the modern day and age..

[@samjon6403]

@@sarahm4516 your free too. Each has a preference

[@sarahm4516]

@@samjon6403 this isn't about me, i'm saying both sexes generally have the same preference, baggage isn't generally attractive to either sex, but you seem to miss that. to add it doesn't necessarily have bad consequences at all! its simply a preference.

[@barolehamid4140]

Dear sister, I have been following you since you embraced Islam, I admire you and have a lot of respect for you, I agree with your speech in the interview, I like your very clear and simple ideas. I wish you can achieve and achieve everything you desire, inshaAllah and may Allah bless you and your three beloved children. (from Italy)

[@Djellal]

Best options for her is to either accept being a second wife or be with a single father. She cannot afford to be picky let’s be realistic common now

[@yaqalp]

Very hard for a Muslim man to marry her. Those 3 boys are a hindrance and being in the military. No practicing Muslim will marry her. I can smell the feminism and hypocrisy in her. Being part of a military that committed genocide in Afghanistan and Iraq. Just this past week the hostage rescue from the US military base/port. She is part of military whom kills innocent Muslims.

[@SarahKowalczky1]

Why ? In Islam single mother have the right to marry as well this is perfectly normal why she have to be second wife, or married single father? Or why she can not married a Muslim men who haven’t children?

[@Djellal]

@@SarahKowalczky1 You should not manipulate someone’s words because that’s how conflicts get created. That’s just a general rule I’m giving you here. We, human beings, react differently to conflicts. Some responds to it with aggressiveness and some others do it with calm. Luckily I’m the latter. I never said she cannot marry a single man. In other words that could help you understand better, I’m saying that based on what she brings to the table, she cannot afford to limit her options to be solely with a single man for obvious reasons. Hope that makes sense.

[@SarahKowalczky1]

@@Djellal which reasons according to you ?

[@mazenaslam6889]

​@@SarahKowalczky1 Her Age, Her 3 kids (oldest being 18 yrs old), v!rgin!ty, her emotional baggage from previous marriage..what else do you need?? tell me honestly if you have two options of getting married to either one of the man (you have NO relationship with them)..first man that earns well, have a good body shape and height while other a jobless, short fat man..Who would you prefer ?? Similarly, If a man has a option of getting married to a young v!rg!n women over her..The answer is obvious of whom is he going to choose...

[@Davkal-h5n]

Muslim women are super strong. Our sisters are very inspiring. The Muslim woman is a symbol of strength and freedom and hope

[@samjon6403]

Lie more to yourself not to us.

[@yusufozzy]

Women are not supposed to be in leadership over men

[@ANANT7244]

😂

[@Slaw6602]

If you got freedom and so much strength, are you allow to marry two man. You strong you can handle even 4 but question is are you allowed?

[@samjon6403]

@@Slaw6602 that's disgusting and wicked to mix blood. There is a reason a woman can marry only one man at a time.

[@halaltraders786]

It’s not about a man being immature when he prefers not to marry a single mother… It’s just that…his PREFERENCE. Just as a woman typically has a preference for taller, or stronger men than herself, or a higher earner than herself why is it that a woman is encouraged and applauded (“yass queen”) for demanding a certain type of man and “not settling” whereas a man (as exhibited by the sister here) is shamed into abandoning his preferences at the expense of being implicitly labeled as immature. How humiliating. The sister is tone deaf as it relates to men and needs to recalibrate her expectations as any potential suitor would have to face the cold reality of when courting a single mother (with three kids no less) that he will FOREVER be in fourth place de facto. The way she indirectly criticizes being a second wife as if being a second wife is a form of subjugation and humiliation is absolutely appalling. she says, “Why should I be a second wife just because I have three children why can’t I be a first wife?” her statement implies that being a second wife is some sort of relegation to second class citizenship. With her toxic anitislamic worldview therefore I wonder how she would estimate Aisha who was a SECOND WIFE HERSELF as Nabi sws was married to Suada at the time of their marriage? In the final analysis, being a second wife isn’t a subjugation as the sister would imply but rather it’s a respectable choice as a function of our preferences IN THE SAME WAY as a man shouldn’t be shamed into marrying a single mom at the risk of being labeled as IMMATURE. Smh

[@Top_o_da_foodDChain]

💯 I don’t like the amount of pandering our brothers do with sisters like her. She needs to get educated on Islam and how to conduct herself as a Muslimah. She’s full of justifications trying to make her deviant views more acceptable. It’s disappointing to see lost and misguided Muslims get a platform on Muslim channels and spread misguided views.

[@hdrabba]

Aisha (ra) was technically the 2nd wife since Khadija (ra) was dead and the Prophet (pbuh) was only married to suadah (ra). Also there's no need to label her anti Islamic. Islam fully accepts the jealousy of women and allows it. There's so many hadeeths about their jealousy. Even umm Salamah (ra) when the prophet (pbuh) proposed to her she said I'm too jealous to be a cowife. Alot of the companions n many great scholars like ibn taymiyah and bin Baz were of the view a woman can put in her marriage contract no second wife as a condition. You can have what u like but if this sister doesn't want to have cowives I don't understand how that affects you specifically. Her statement is normal aisha (ra) said many things similar about how being younger and not being married is better. It's the nature of women they're jealous. May Allah bless u

[@SandiegoRockstar]

@@hdrabba it's not just a female thing. Jealousy is a weakness in everybody. Siblings often succumb to jealousies against each other. They argue with each other over their parent's love, support and inheritance.

[@noorahd6655]

Agree 100% , And just to add that when she asked '' why can’t I be a first wife?" ...the answer was that she was already a first wife in the past.

[@hdrabba]

@@SandiegoRockstar True but islam talks significantly more about the jealousy of women and cowives. Surah tahreem was even revealed cuz of the jealousy between the wives of the prophet (pbuh) and they're the best of women (ra). The sis is a revert makes no sense to go in like that on her. Imagine going from a culture where that's considered "cheating" to believing it's allowed? We should choose our words wisely as muslims is what I'm trying to say.

[@agharbi1724]

As always, I had a wonderful time listening to @TheAnsariPodcast. Thank you Staff Sgt Lourdes Loyola for coming on I'm sure it wasn't easy to come and talk about your personal life on a podcast, but I just wanted to thank you for giving your honest feedback on the questions asked I learned a lot personally this episode was truly insightful and a little mind opening for me thank you and salaam!

[@ShaznaAli-m2x]

Great words of wisdom from sister! She carved away intelligently her responses upholding the integrity of single mothers connecting with islamic rulings & values . May Allah guide her and her kids, bless them abundantly with all the goodness .

[@PodcastGuru2024]

She's complaining that her son is having a hard time with the divorce, but she's the one who divorced his sons father. Clown world

[@DanReh]

I cannot speak to her character. But a lot of women have a kind of mentality where they divorce for no reason (emotion incompatibility, different wavelength) and then use philosophical islamic arguments like it's Allah plan for me, ... I hate these kinds of videos. It kind of normalizes bad choices. Now, she's says a lot of people are divorced. I don't wanna be 2nd wife. Okay, why would a man that has options agree to marry someone with 3 kids?? This is the kind of bad advice and delusion that is being spread here.

[@PodcastGuru2024]

@DanReh spot on. I don't pay attention to what they say anymore. 99% of the time it's bs. It's highly likely she got bored. When they get bored they either cheat or leave, believing the grass is greener.

[@YoTeezy]

Walahi

[@nini4520]

Oh. You thought you ate. I’m pretty sure this sister has shared before that her husband cheated on her. So yea, she does have the right to divorce him.

[@DanReh]

@@nini4520 where did she share this?? and I was speaking in general anyways.

[@LouisaLouisa-n9g]

Im a son of a single mom, father deceased.... May Allah grant them jannah both... My mom never remarried because she puts us first.... Its a big sacrifice youre not necessarily willing to endure..... My advise, the solution is in the middle, marry someone as a second wife.... Youll meet him only in the weekends, he wont interfere nor have the chance to be abusive to them, i know its your fear... And they wont abuse him neither , they will rarely meet, no reason to be any conflict of interest.... You can even decide not to have children, if he already has..... And thus you can be provided for financially, emotionnally and you have a man in case you need.....and when your children will leave the house you can settle, half time with you half time with other wife.... I dont know......and Everyone is happy

[@alphathelifecoach]

Being a Muslim in the US army is mad problematic Allah musta’aan.

[@zmss8537]

yes, you should never join a kafer army, let alone a terrorist army which killed millions of Muslims

[@conflictserum]

It is not permissible. It’s not like it’s the Japan Defense Force who aren’t actively fighting Muslims. It’s the friggin evil empire US Army.

[@paracetamolmepha7371]

This is Kufr and in someone joins a Military of the Kuffar wich is hostile angainst the muslimin has done riddah. These mushrikin are our enemy. How can a muslim join them?

[@abdrahmanhamoda1166]

Exactly! They don't even question her about it, or bring the topic up about how and what she was doing in the military.

[@jibbscat5146]

This mentality is what leads to Muslim Bans in the US.

[@1marzouq]

If her superiors give her an order that contradicts Islam, what will she do? We(Muslims) shouldn’t join their (non-Muslim) military ranks. May Allah continue to guide her, and us all. Ameen.

[@lloyola1772]

We have an obligation to say no or deny illegal and immoral orders.

[@mohammedmostapha5887]

It's kufr to join in the first place.​@@lloyola1772

[@ronanwarrior2113]

Its not so easy to say its good or bad but i think she is thinking of it as a multi generational struggle to change the core of the military. Similar to what white supremacy had done. They have been joining the military ranks for 40-60 years effectively changing the aim and goals of the military. We could do the same but there is a risk that the military could change us in the process.

[@shahidabdoullakhanzorovr1564]

​@@lloyola1772Do your superiors know that? If so, makes one wonder why they would see any utility in someone who may one day become religiously obligated to defy them.

[@JuNi3001]

First time listener/consumer. MashaAllah I enjoyed this podcast. Subscribed. Allah bless you.

[@TheOpenCriticalmind]

Interesting context coming from a Muslimah in the US military on life philosophies that are not touched by traditional Muslim women. Thank you for your opinions. Keep on it.

[@aktar38]

I’m Muslim man, not against having two wives, not against women wanting to be a second wife. But never never, should it be “have you thought of being a second wife because you’re a divorcee or have kids”. I’m sorry but that reasoning really gets me angry. Be a second wife because you want to. Not because you feel your options are limited or because you can no longer have the same options as someone younger, never divorced or doesn’t have kids. That’s a logical way to look at things and sometimes love and fate isn’t logical. Don’t sell yourselves short!

[@riseupordie6380]

She said it's a Sunnah to have more than one wife. When asked if she's okay with being a second wife, she replied, "Absolutely not." So she is not okay when she is the second wife.

[@JoseOlvera-iw9fl]

Haven't got there yet but it's what u wanted to see, may Allah send a real brother your way

[@JoseOlvera-iw9fl]

And having multiple wives is not simply a Sunnah it's in the Quran

[@bonar1211]

bro, the wife has right to agree for poligamy or not. But its true, its a sunnah because Prophet Muhammad did it. Why you confusing something that already so clear.

[@JoseOlvera-iw9fl]

@bonar1211 the only people that get confused is those whom do not understand the hikmah behind it and the kitab itself study the seerah of our beloved sallalahu alayhi wa Salam

[@AdnanAli_313]

They value American and other western law higher then Allahs law and act like its OK they pock and choose what the like from Allahs laws.

[@ambermalik895]

Masha'Allah,nice to hear her again.she is really brave lady with her strong believe in almighty'Subhan'Allah❤

[@sn3176]

Sigh. I get sooo tired of hearing “it’s sunnah” to marry more than one wife. For one, there is Sunnah that is a practice of the prophet, and then there’s Sunnah that the Prophet encouraged or commanded for his ummah. Polygamy is not encouraged but permitted within the guidance set forth by Allah. And interestingly no one ever calls monogamy a Sunnah though the Prophet also practiced monogamy. Furthermore, Islam does not hold the position that polygamy is a superior form of marriage and vice versa. And I respect this woman saying she does NOT have to accept polygamy as a single divorcee if she doesn’t want that for her herself! And that is EVERY woman’s right and it’s oppressive to convince women otherwise.

[@salehmbamba1489]

It's not just Sunnah but a verse in the quran

[@adampatel3132]

The prophet ordered the shabab to get married this is a command from the prophet therefore its wajib. As for the Quran It says 2, 3, 4 first therefore the asl is to have 2 and if one cannot be just then marry 1. The quran and sunnah shows its wajib not sunnah or mubah.

[@hk_ballers]

Don't get tired

[@shadeedmuhammad8107]

Well then you do not have to. There are too many brothers that one would ok. Besides I think it is less than 5 percent that take on a 2nd wife. So do now worry the ladies can double down but also think about it this way why do you think it is less than 5 percent..... Because dealing with one can be tough so why would I want 2. So with that being said 2 is something we as Muslim men never took serious in the modern world. One plus is that if you have 2 and one leave you still have 1. Besides 1st wife might want to school and 2nd want to have kids now. This deen is about the overview of us not individually. So shout out to the wives and women who tried. In the future I do not believe the women will have a choice due to the lack of men

[@Bantszf]

@sn3176 who said Polygamy isn’t Recommended ?

[@khalidumar9752]

Lourdes Loyola its your second video I am watching. You speak with a lot of clarity Mash a Allah ❤ 🇵🇰.

[@suelaamisandwich]

As an American revert, this idea that single moms, divorcees, or widows are only good enough to be second wives is strange to me too. I never seen this as an issue except in the Muslim community. Growing up, blended families were prevalent, thriving, and monogamous.

[@CarmenRamos-xu5ti]

Alhamdulilah! Proud Puerto Rican here. Great conversation.

[@user-qb2lv8uo4x]

There are no 'second' or 'third'...The term is 'co-wife'. This means there is no high rank or number rank. All to be treated fairly and as equals...Alhumdhulilah..

[@omegared10]

MashaAllah. What an excellent discussion. She is very intelligent and precise with her language. May Allah bless her

[@abz5627]

May Allah make it easy for her, she has good intentions. Its always difficult going through divorce and you have kids

[@ChaiPani007]

I can't speak about an Islamic perspective because I'm not qualified, but just some general comments. Just like most women don't want to be a second wife, most men don't want to have a second wife either because: * The way society looks down upon you. * Potential retaliation from first wife and her family. * Limitations with money/resources and mostly time * Honeymoon phase followed by bickeringx2 * The mess that follows with inheritance I think in today's society, the number one reason a man would want to have a second wife is that the first is not physically intimate. As a mistress once said - "A man has a container that needs to be emptied every couple of weeks. If his wife doesn't do it, he looks elsewhere." This is still an acceptable reason to have a second wife though as long as there is a willing woman and her emotional/material needs are met. Others may have nobler reasons but I would say they are far fewer in our time. Anyways, I would say that a man who is willing to have a second wife and gives her all her rights is brave, and a single mother/divorcee who has not received any proposals in years is willing to be a second wife is smart. And probably the best among them is the first wife if she is patient, which is probably impossible. There is nothing wrong with a man (unmarried/divorced/single parent) or a woman (unmarried/divorced/single parent) to refuse to be somebody's first spouse or the second spouse. If they like each other and want to be together, that's all that matters. But there is something to be said about the emotional connection that virgin couples have.

[@sziyad8965]

I remember this Army female Staff Sergeant posted in 2022 about supporting and celebrating Pride Month.

[@jagal1990]

Assalamu Alaikum, I feel the host left a lot of points unchallenged: 1. "Feeling better if a unit was sent to Gaza included Muslims", so just like we recently saw in the Al-Nusairat masscare where the US played a major role in the murder of 250+ Palestinians. She is saying Gazans who got killed would've felt better if there were more Muslims in the US Army that's killing them? or if there were more Muslims back in the Army were murdering innocent Iraqi/Afghan civilians!? How does that make any sense? 2. Just like the majority of Muslim women are refusing polygyny for themselves, but claim they aren't against it, how come she can't accept that the majority of Muslim men don't want to marry a single mother for themselves but they aren't against it. 3. She needs to be realistic, even a mature man who is capable to take the responsibility would prefer a woman with no children because there less baggage to deal with (Baggage as in dealing with the father of the children, or the children themselves. I have no intention to disrespect Single mothers especially Muslims, and I'm not saying that the Muslim men in the community don't need to step up (cause I kind of agree on her point on Muslim men marrying non Muslim women). I'm just saying that a lot of Muslim women nowadays need to realize that they aren't special. Throughout the history of Muslims polygyny was the default, then western "values" came about and made people think that monotheism is the default. Women back then weren't less jealous than women nowadays. May Allah guide us to what pleases him.

[@Davkal-h5n]

There is a lot of social media bullies who target our people trying to communicate their realities. ❤❤❤ this sister

[@Northmenn]

Yep, you don't need to be an Arab to be a full Muslim, everyone has their own custom, they are free to wear anything as long as it doesn't violate God's commandments

[@younessboustta6525]

I disagree about the muslims in the west join the military

[@adnanabdurrahman419]

Its not permissible

[@Haqqseeker40]

100%

[@janelee-xt1xs]

It is haram to harm another human let alone another muslim. So joining the military in the west where the main goal is to create war is 100% a sin.

[@Gazanhasaniwa]

How about instead of platforming someone who is advocating for Muslims to join a kaffir army, bring a scholar to talk about why you as a Muslim should never fight in a kaffir army that helps in genociding your ummah. Just a thought. If your intention was to bring controversial people on your platform because it brings in numbers, then may Allah guide her and YOU.

[@G_1allah]

Where are the Muslim armies that are fighting for Palestine ??? U sound dumb

[@adnanabdurrahman419]

Facts

[@vanguare]

Absolutely true

[@Gouravs.4605]

​@@vanguareAbsolute false

[@alk4262]

Everybody arguing against polygamy always opposes it to something that is also halal (a lot of man marrying from people of the book) or even opposes polygamy to something haram (what if a woman has two husbands? Would it be acceptable?)

[@omowhanre]

Many Muslim men don’t qualify to marry their one and only wife, yet they talk about multiple wives. How many men today can single-handily fully financially, physically, spiritually and psychologically support 2 households?

[@janelee-xt1xs]

Are you committing shirk right now? The only qualification for marriage is just mahr adult and sane. And the provision of clothing shelter and food. So who are you to change the law of god?

[@jjqq4116]

@@janelee-xt1xs Liberal Muslims. For them equality of women is above the Sunnah.

[@adeel228]

@@janelee-xt1xs women and their emotions. I feel this, I feel that.

[@janelee-xt1xs]

@@hawaaabadiro Honey, females dont have any right to initiate divorce. Why are you spreading more sins?

[@omowhanre]

@@adeel228 Yes, no trait in excess is good, but Allah made women “emotional” out of His wisdom. I’m sure you would want the woman who beats and raises your children to be “emotional.” Do those who hate the nature of women even like women? Imagine a woman claiming to hate all the things that make men men and then claiming that she actually LIKES men. People like this in the West marry the same gender. AstaghfurAllah.

[@JabeLive]

It’s amazing the similarities between Mexican culture and general Muslims. Also the choices you made in your life are inspirational.

[@s1r3n1971]

I love hearing a Muslim woman's POV, especially a single parent. As a single mother, I personally would prefer to marry a single parent, to bring two families together. I feel a Muslim man, who is also a single parent, would have a better understanding of the struggles of single parenthood. Also, I believe there is no man alive with the virtues of our prophet who could justly & fairly satisfy the emotional & financial needs of multiple wives. The prophet's first wife was a single parent & he was married to her only until her death. If men wanted to follow the path of the prophet, all single men should first marry divorced single women. My second point is that the US military is not anti-Islamic because there aren't enough Muslims in the armed forces, I feel the problem is the powers that control our military use & manipulate the lives of our conscripted youth to promote & proliferate their own personal financial and global domination agendas.

[@janelee-xt1xs]

If you are a muslim the child wouldve been with the father. The fact that the child is with you says a lot about your religion.

[@jjqq4116]

God didn't ask any Muslim man to completely replicate the Prophet on anything. And in case of polygamy it is completely impossible to be completely fair to all wives at all times. We can't be perfect. You have insanely high standards for men. Why don't you admonish and demean the sister above for being in the same room with another man? The prophets wives didn't do this. Because you're liberal Muslim? Don't forget even the prophet's wives would complain that he was showing too much favoritism to one of his wives. This proves that we can marry 4 women and as long as we can take care of the bare necessities we still can show favoritism(in a halal manner). Secondly, US military are terrorists and worse than ISIS imo. The wounds are too deep still.

[@fahimkhan007]

There are not many single daddies in the West, being a mommy at home. But good luck.

[@Gouravs.4605]

You are doing partiality

[@zS39SBT4fe5Zp8Q]

I 100% agree with Sgt. Loyola in the fact that Muslims must join the Army now more than ever. And to go even further, Muslims should work in the US government to be a force for good. It breaks my heart when I see US officials resign out of solidarity and morality when they can and should be doing more on the inside. Even if it feels ineffective at first.

[@andrewdavanzo8497]

I disagree because many scholars say it is haram to join US military that is well known to kill Muslims. Like how could you be ok aiding a Kafir country against your brothers and sisters in Islam, not just that but you are helping spreading false ideology like liberalism.

[@jjqq4116]

Then go do it yourself. They quit because they know that they'd be fired regardless if they wanted to do good for Muslim from the inside.

[@vanguare]

Absolutely not 😊

[@BUKHAREE]

Listening from Yukon 🙌🏽

[@fareedapathan5432]

MashaAllah, I love the interview so proud of strong women and mothers like sister lourdes. Especially a latina. I have seen so few Latinos who are muslim. May Allah guide her right path, Happiness, success good health and wealth. Aameen

[@zohalabdurahman3697]

Great discussion! Love your hijab and shirt

[@ChristopherMadrigal-j7g]

As a Mexican revert myself, Rights and regulations on marriage. Singular or plural are things that the individual will navigate, demand, wave (pardon), and so on. The sharia stipulates the bare minimum but the application of everything is very intimate and between the individuals and Allah. We should be careful when making public statements that Islam is this and Islam is that. The shariah is the shariah and the application by the individuals is something else. All parties involved will answer for their shortcomings on their own. May Allah SWT guide us all and help all those who take on such things in their sincere intentions.

[@zarbethq]

I am quite sincere to accept a second wife who is a single mother, the world is changing so fast that we need to be really open to nature and basic needs for which our religion of Islam all prepared from the start, it's the most natural and psychologically adaptable way of life; the lesser the corruption the easier it is to understand.

[@peacefuljack]

Great interview; very impressed by the sister

[@Nabeel27]

She wants to be the only wife with 3 kids to a single man. So then she'd better be ready to be mother to his kids-in-tow as that's the most likely candidate she'll get. She will not get a single childless man willing to marry a mom of 3. An already-married man however will come without that.

[@mansori86]

He puts her on heat chair when asked “ why you have not been searching”?!

[@N82246]

Respect to this sister, She is intelligent and knows what she wants. May Allah bless you with a righteous husband and grant you jannah.

[@emonkhan3649]

Ansari I am Muslim from Bangladesh, I will marry her if she agrees. But Islam does not allow another's child as one's own child. The child will be identified his father

[@Blaze0071]

Brother I don't know if you're being serious in the first sentence but that would never happen from KZbin

[@fisal24]

The Islamic contract of marriage is concluded by tongue and witnesses and the guardian, not necessary paper or documents with the government, or you shouldn't marry in the west because with legal marriage you are able to lose half your wealth and kids.

[@SuperDuperColossal]

And that mentality is what keeps the sisters single😞

[@cheikhkandji3002]

Unfortunately

[@amadeusakreveusmusic3356]

Which mentality?

[@janelee-xt1xs]

@@amadeusakreveusmusic3356 kufar mentality. prohibiting what god have made permissible. expecting to be the only wife when god allow men to have up to 4.

[@redpanther9380]

​@@amadeusakreveusmusic3356can indulge with a man in polygny, have unrealistic high standards hate men for going towards non Muslim women and divorce is normal etc. Now who would go for an old single mother whne men can go for younger virgin/never married single women, also thy would go for Muslim women when it's easier with non Muslim women. No 50k haq Mehr etc

[@saniyaahmad3153]

Better be single then in polygamy

[@5hf2024]

She is amazing 👏.

[@mookfarooq]

alhamdulilah she is. I agree. Mashallah.

[@b1world]

Its so funny how she keeps saying im not against man marrying multiple wives but then clarifies that she would NEVER accept that, so you‘re actually making the point that you’re actually not with it. Its easy to have a opinion for others but then applying it to yourself is not easy. Having multiple wife’s as a man is a big responsibility but also as a first wife to say ok to it and give the biggest gift you can give to another women to have the opportunity and the chance to become a wife and be able to make children and raise them.

[@ghul8158]

Because she is describing what she wants. That's her right. The problem is also that most females don't have a clue about how men operate. They think men are like how they are..

[@vanguare]

She doesn’t have to be a second wife, but she isn’t against OTHER men marrying multiple wives. Just because she’s okay with other people doing, doesn’t mean SHE has to be okay with it because its her choice.

[@b1world]

@@vanguare yes i get that but as a Muslim you can’t be agents anything thats ok according to the Quran anyways, so saying in the same sentence to be ok with it but not for me, i would never accept that, is very contradicting. You should always try to apply anything whats in the Quran period. It always comes down to the intention when it come to the allowed but not a must things in islam.

[@vanguare]

@@b1world She doesn’t know you, so it doesn’t matter if its not for you.

[@b1world]

@@vanguare i don‘t matter, we‘re not talking about me here. All im saying is ether you‘re ok with it or you‘re not. In Islam there is no yes for everyone else but not for me. We‘re all the same in Islam.

[@arshadameen9523]

She is right in her belief, when it comes to polygyny, there is no compulsion, so is every other aspect in the religion of Islam. Its up to the partners to decide if that will work for them. Her option for a single man will be limited at this age, but will eventually happen God willing. The issue is when we tag all men who want multiple wives as horny womanizers, some of them are genuly in a helpless situation. Its better to have multiple wives than having side chicks, ONS, situationships etc. From islam's perspective its not 1st wife or 2ed wife, its just wife, I hope the convert would recongnze that at some part in her revert journey.

[@UmarAH]

I find it odd that the urgency to reform the mental aspect and feelings a man may have of marrying single mothers,widows and older women but in the exact same conversations being a 2nd wife isn't for me why do I have too be .....because of how I feel.

[@husseinseid]

Masha Allah what great remarks. Having more wives is not only survive for men but for both women and men. Marriage is only the way we can survive. Let young men marry more than one wife for the seek of high number of unmarried women. It's survive for them and for us and the evil sign will decrease. May Allah Guide us on the right path.

[@sufyanumalkar235]

She was damn good person, intelligent, and so clear on thoughts. I pray may Allah bless her with a wonderful husband.

[@Zahramuduku1362]

Im from Africa and inshallah Allah will guide me one day to polgamy marriage

[@Blaze0071]

Polygyny. Polygamy is when both spouses are with multiple partners

[@cheikhdiagne5369]

I’m available to marry if you are 😊

[@deepsareen1]

Why wait. You can do a Mutah

[@Zahramuduku1362]

@@deepsareen1 is it possible?

[@Gouravs.4605]

Come to me

[@nooronkolisvlogusa361]

It's better to be a 2nd wife than staying in an abusive husband.

[@beachboy_boobybuilder]

Staying in an abusive husband?.

[@almascollections9531]

Well said sister.

[@ibrahimm2012]

The only thing that would stop me marrying a single mother would be how the family will be run. I mean she has kids with her ex. So I won’t have the authority in the household but all the responsibility . Also what if i what my own kids so how the dynamic will work.

[@RizWan-z7s]

My husband would love to marry you, he is a super practicing Muslim MashAllah!

[@Gouravs.4605]

You will be left off

[@berkturkoglu]

I don’t understand where he learns his history. The problem with the Muslims today is nobody knows their history. Saying the Ottomans preferred Persians over Arabs is totally farce. First of all the Ottomans were staunch enemies of the Persians and fought hundreds of wars against them. The Arabs were not conscripted into Ottoman armies because they were considered the children of the Blessed prophet. They were not considered to be hard soldiers like Turks.

[@elkyman99]

With all due respect this statement is pretty inaccurate. The Ottomans descended from Oğuz Turks, who integrated their blood heavily with Persians due to establishmrnt of the Selçuk Empire that spawned the Turks push into the Anatolian Peninsula and eventually the Ottoman State. For the record Ottomans preferred European soldiers over all (Janissaries) who were given to the Ottoman State by surrounding European vassal territories.

[@ronaldhamzah7557]

Turky still exist now, why dont arab join turk and other moslem countries to established new Califah ? The Califah itself was build with war, and i dont think today it can happened

[@SaraitBenjamin]

Im a muslim and I am a man. Yes I love women they are all beautiful. Having said this, to men out there, dont abuse the Sunah and concentrate on Allah Azwajal's warning abusing women in general, especially those you take as a second wife. Allah Azwajal is to the point and clear, remember your return to Him! If you cant be just to your wives, remember your return.

[@Abz637]

Jazak’allah

[@imonimon1984]

What's more shocking is, I've just gone through all the comments and only a handful of people even acknowledged the big bombshell she revealed at the beginning

[@GoldenWolfBeWise]

what did you catch?

[@Young_z_dawah]

I got subscribed to your channel man, because of the name-Ansari ❤❤❤

[@EmpiricalMiracles]

It’s not her urf or custom to be in polygamy why is it being pushed. Pizza is halal and I still may not like it. There’s no problem not liking something halal.

[@letsunnahgoforth]

Joing the US military NO WAY!!! Our religion is our loyalty and no need to join a secular, liberal army

[@juanmancha25]

As a son of a Retired US Army SFC soldier who served 22 years, I tell my sons that I want them to enlist. I am of the opinion that Muslims need to enlist to change the culture of Islamophobia in the US military. This is how we will stop the American government war on Islam

[@moralisoppression2837]

It wont. Lmao

[@conflictserum]

Why do we need to change the culture in the the military? We change the society and everything follows. But that’s not by joining them in their colonial army.

[@JoseOlvera-iw9fl]

May Allah subhannahu wa ta ala keep you firm and grant those whom you hold dear the guidance as well ameen

[@jawaadshahid]

As long as we're sent to fight for the interests of the corrupt and for the sake of a country as opposed to belief, being in the military is unjust

[@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543]

Many Muslims don't even know the basics of the din of some history of how things should be (sahaba & salaf) vs how things are, so nika is half the din, but they are week in their first half so how are they going to be strong in their second half!

[@jjqq4116]

Still have to try.

[@moynislam8911]

Put in an awkward situation with the question about joining the army, it was a very diplomatic answer.

[@adila2442]

How many of these Muslim men can actually afford more than one wife? Ask to see their income?

[@mohammada3116]

alot of men alhamdulillah

[@SPharaoh]

Modern day single moms are not good options as they carry baggages of trauma and children of other men. Remember, many of these women asked for divorce for no reason at all. Fellas rmember to choose the potential half sibling/s of your future child/ren rests with you.

[@reomai9576]

Men also come with trauma, Trying so hard to be a man, starts smoking, getting into a fight because someone looked at them...

[@janelee-xt1xs]

The fact that it is a female with child prove that it isnt a good muslim as in islam the children should always be with the father if he is alive.

[@yyc246]

If you’re Muslim then ur not following the prophet teachings. Shame on you.if prophet Mohammad PBH married a divorced woman than what makes you any better than him? And stop judging/categorizing that all single moms are bad. They are goods and bass in every gender.

[@iNikkah]

I think this situation is a little different as they both became Muslim to begin with but maybe he wasn’t that invested- she needs a strong Muslim man, it’s a complicated situation as a revert family

[@Thatssswhatithought]

You guys are putting all the mothers in the same basket which is so wronggggggggggggg. Fear Allah before uttering such judgement

[@xondeez757]

people forget that there are single men out there who already have kids. ask women if they're willing to date a man who is already divorced and has kids. majority of the women would refuse.

[@redfordrn]

Agree with Sister's point that some Muslim men marry non-Muslim ladies, which is actually not a preferred thing by Allah (SWT). As it is mentioned in Quran, Muslim men should prefer to marry a Believing Muslim Lady, over a Mushrika, (Non-Muslim) lady. There is a reason for it, in many cases that Non-Muslim lady will most likely raise her children Non-Muslim, as kids prefer to follow Mother's way of teachings and cultural practices.

[@Truthiscrystalclear]

May Allah make it easy for this woman, but this woman is delusional. At 37 thinking that she will be one choosing, thinking that a man her age will be lining up to marry her only, is silly... The truth is a man who marrys her only, who is her age is a man who is writing off having any or any more kids of their own. And the prophet (SAW) sunnah is also to marry young woman, and he encouraged marrying young woman so that one can have more kids. This sister should either change view on polygamy, or increase that age to 50+.

[@sn3176]

This comment is gross and likely a reflection of how you see yourself. Allah does not think of his creation in this way, placing lower value on people bc of their life experiences. And it’s utterly shameful because it shows you have a low opinion of Allah- Allah can bless any of his servants with what he chooses. Sorry you lack the requisite faith to believe that.

[@Truthiscrystalclear]

@@sn3176 I don't think it's disrespectful at all, it's reality. I did not say she's lower value, but she is only thinking of things from her perspective, ie selfishly., a man her age is still thinking about having kids of his own, whilst a woman her age is at the end of her fertility cycle, it is very difficult for a woman to fall pregnant after the age of 40, and menopause can kick in anytime from 41 to 50. In my estimation a man still has aspirations of kids perhaps into his late 50s maybe early 60s, and a man has the ability to have kids till the day he dies, So it does not make any sense for a man her age to be monogamous with her, only a man who doesn't want any or anymore kids of his own will think it a good idea, therefore most likely an older man for her to be monogamous, i would say around 60 years old. This is biology, and reality. Most women don't realize that men also have desires to have kids of their own, sorry that you feel bad, but i don't see any good in pandering to your delusions, brutal honesty is the best, then at least woman are likely to be logical and rational about her expectations. May Allah bless everyone, men and woman, and fullfil All their halaal needs, men and woman!

[@CurrentAssistant]

The prophet Sunnah is also to marry a woman who has been married before who is older than him and remaining monogamous to her (khadijah May Allah be pleased with her). Always one sunnah and not the other with this ummah isn’t it 😬😬

[@sa_ly]

The world is not shaped according to your single perspective. Nothing is impossible to Allah S.W.T, he already knows who will get married and which kind of spouses ppl may have.

[@MiraZailani]

It always gets me how men think so highly of themselves. Like did it even cross your mind that there are men out there who can't have children of their own?? Or it's just a thing that happens to women?? I don't know why we focus on things that have nothing to do with us but rather The Provider and The one who Gives! If anything you're the one being delusional thinking that every single person on this earth will only ever have children the way you think it's "suppose" to happen. Miracles are for Allah to perform and not people who think everything is black and white!

[@DD23-1]

She's a Beautiful Sister! I mean if the Prophet SAW married older and widowed Women and if they were good enough for our Beloved Prophet SAW than it DEF. is good enough for us as well!!! 🤲☝

[@mansoorahmad5632]

Very informative and interesting 👍.

[@slametbudisantoso9494]

marry a moslem single mother are best decision i made in my life 12 years ago she was with 1 kid he was only 6 now we have total 3 alhamdulillah life up and down things happens good and bad she's always there for me no matter what

[@Thatssswhatithought]

I’m seeing all these horrible, ignorant comments related to marrying single moms. What a sad world we live in.

[@FarooqKhan-gs7ny]

I see every time her my increasing my Eman MashAllah Ya Allah helps her inshaALLAH ameen suma ameen

[@bestverse4ever235]

All Americans women are the same , there is not none difference between religious and no religious women they think the same and talk alike

[@Marwadear512]

Not in the least.

[@sq9779]

No man should marry a single mother unless they are willing to go through a life of hell. Also depends why she’s a single mum that’s the key question

[@fiddah]

You should delete this comment of your’s. Have you never studied The Seerah of Rasul صلى الله عليه وسلم ? Have you never read about the lives of the Sahabah رضي الله عنهم ? I personally know a Muslim woman with kids who got married to a brother and they are a happy family and have their own kids in addition to the kids of the sister. الحَمدُ لله . الله أَعْلَم

[@sq9779]

@@fiddah it’s a free country. If you don’t like the comment keep it moving.

[@amadeusakreveusmusic3356]

I do agree, however if and only if she's mother material than it's a catch. She's used to taking care of kids and being patient with them vs a new mom. Hence why single moms function better as 2nd wives or wives of other single dads (who aren't as popular, since women get custody 90% of the time). There's also competence connected to it. A fresh bachelor is gonna be awkward and not know how to act around a mother he hasn't been together with. It is reminiscent of the concept of alpha widows.

[@sq9779]

@@amadeusakreveusmusic3356 each to their own my brother.

[@janelee-xt1xs]

No female with children are a good muslim to begin with. Since islam told you that the children should always be raised by the father unless he is no more.

[@Ahmed-j3f7e]

Thank you for the nice conversation .. I think the sister is raising the bar high .. Not sure how she is expecting to be the only/first wife for a man, and she has children too and her age .. I wish you the best sister .. If the man can't have babies, that maybe an opportunity .. But anyhow .. Wish you all the best in your journey

[@janelee-xt1xs]

That is literally shirk to forbid a man from enjoying what god have allowed. Marrying that type of female is akin to marrying a polytheis as that is a kufar.

[@MH-bf4uu]

She could marry a divorced man. Doesn't mean she doesn't need to be a second wife

[@Ahmed-j3f7e]

@@MH-bf4uu I can't put all possibilities in my answer .. A divorce man will surely have better options.. But Allah decides the best for anyone .. Everything is possible

[@sarahm4516]

@@Ahmed-j3f7e Young never married beautiful women, don't want divorced men as their first husbands, your delusional if you think a mans 'baggage' doesn't affect his prospects in regards to marriage, not everyone thinks the same but generally speaking people who haven't been married before , don't want someone who has been whether male or female.

[@KimonoKenny]

RIP Aaron Bushnell. We will never forget your sacrifice.

[@healthyself7941]

Not everyone needs religion....whether it's Jesus or Buddha or Mohammed or any other guy. Learn to think for yourself. It's totally possible, without religion, to live a life with honor, integrity, kindness, courage.

[@vanguare]

Right mix up 3 completely different lifestyles to prove your ignorance, You wouldn’t go to a university student and tell them to stop reading their book and start to think for themself. When you don’t even know what to think of. Just gonna let you know that we think for ourselves and therefore choose to put value on ourselves and follow a way of living we believe is moral. Why would we be interested in your clueless lifestyle that obviously has no purpose?

[@Mokhil]

May Allah swt bless and protect you sister. Very well put that it is not all about having second wives but also other aspects of the Sunnah. We as Muslim men should support where it matters most for the Ummah. Brother Ansari you kind of were stuck on this one single topic. The sister explained and also respectfully said that it is not something for her without falling into the the trap of opposing Sunnah.

[@JabeLive]

It takes a real man to marry a single mom. Single Muslim moms are grand prize and they should market for themselves accordingly.

[@noonwraith401]

😂😂😂.

[@yunusrai2752]

Most men that haven't been married not a nice internal feeling knowing this women has been with someone else even if it's halal... the same way women feel pain and jealousy over a second wife. As a man if shaitan creeps in not a nice thought... just dont get divorced because nowadays very hard for women.

[@thebeesnuts777]

Yes, my thoughts exactly if you have never been married or had a relationship marrying a single mother/divorcee is unfair, I have seen men who have a sickness who end up divorced and still seek another virgin to marry again and those who have no status or wealth get pushed to marry ex girlfriends turned " religious" or single mothers or divorcee's

[@achaudhry5252]

Good point on single mums etc being the " only " wives or the 1st wife

[@ryane6886]

I think a man would be more inclined to marry a widow or single mother if he could marry multiple wives. Very few, if any, women these days want to be a 2nd wife. Especially if they view it as charity and not as someone that wants to marry them lovingly. But it is very true about men marrying non-Muslim women. These aren't wholesome arranged marriages though, it's often men that have gone astray and are engaging in haram with non-muslim women. We need to do a better job raising better sons, so they can be better husbands for our daughters. And those men must consider what kind of mother they want as an example for their daughters. One must also remember that a man wants kids, usually. And wants to be a father. Having another man in the picture will always interfere with the relationship between him and his wife/her children. Additionally, she may not want additional children. Is she willing to allow him to treat her children like his own? That includes when it comes to discipline? Is she always going to prioritize her kids before him? I think one must also remember, if you love someone, you'll do whatever for them. But women often choose who to love based on what they can provide. Most women will not marry a poor man, or a man with no education, who may not be able to take care of her when she is pregnant, or her children. Men with often choose someone that will bring peace and stability to their life, regardless of her income/education. So all men and women must ask themselves, what are they able to provide to the other that the other is seeking in them. One of the reasons why single non-Muslims are able to remarry a little easier is because they will often give up intimacy in exchange for love and resources. It sounds crude, but it's often true, even if subconsciously. And a man provides that love and resources in exchange for intimacy. That being said, if a woman doesn't need a man, that's great. However, she must remember that her children need a father figure. A good man will teach boys how to be men, and teach a girl what to watch for in finding her own good spouse.

[@georgeorlando7989]

Ma Sha Allah.. the sister seems like a good person but she is definitely delusional and picking and choosing what to follow of the religion for her own benefits.. wa Allahi this is the main reason why we suffer as an ummah.. if we take the entire religion we will be successful.. And please let's stop making the first or the only wife superior to the others.. it's no different between them..

[@sn3176]

When I see comments like this, I know for sure this is someone who has a low opinion of themselves and Allah. This woman’s desires for herself in terms of marriage doesn’t impact anyone but her and her future spouse. I swear nothing triggers an insecure person more than someone who seems to have a high sense of self and believes Allah will absolutely bless them with the marriage they desire.

[@MohamedShou]

@@sn3176and it will impact her children because if they see this podcast they will also pick and choose what to follow in Islam 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@amadeusakreveusmusic3356]

​@@MohamedShouexactly

[@amadeusakreveusmusic3356]

You can hear the alpha widow voice in her speech. Her man wasn't on his faith, so she wants someone who's bot just a muslim, but a muslim leader. One who leads his family in all aspects of life. However, her delusions and putting feelings over facts (37,divorced, +3 kids) will make it more difficult for her to settle. She needs a dose of "Fresh and Fit"