Why So Many Marriages are Failing and the Solutions! | Qari Ishaaq Jasat (Full Podcast)

Рет қаралды 20,506

Күн бұрын

Ustadh Shabbir is joined by Qari Ishaaq Jasat, where they identify some of the reasons why marriages are failing and discuss ways people can make their marriages stronger.
00:00 - Intro
02:38 - Receiving 13 divorce cases in one month
06:22 - Is marriage difficult?
10:21 - Why marriages are breaking down - some examples
17:49 - Be clear about expectations BEFORE marriage
20:21 - Marriage requires constant learning
25:01 - Why some marriages don't last for more than 2 years
34:42 - Why you should never compare your spouse to someone else!
38:35 - Arguments sometimes happen
42:21 - Marriage is a lifelong responsibility
43:59 - Belittling your spouse is really bad
44:40 - Men want respect, and women want love
48:18 - You are a team after getting married
56:54 - My Qur'an Journal
You can purchase My Qur'an Journal at: www.getmyquranjournal.com

Пікірлер: 134

@IlmFeedPodcast 5 күн бұрын

Subscribe for more podcasts coming soon.

@aliamacintyre483 3 күн бұрын

If you’ve even gotten married, you’re so blessed wallahy. Don’t ruin it. Remember how painful it is to be single and trying to find a partner.

@sallyy396 3 күн бұрын

True

@Osmosis3210 3 күн бұрын

Also remember how painful it is to be betrayed etc or hurt by another , put yourself in the shoes of your spouse . In islam compassion and empathy is very important especially towards your spouse .

@kayn6858 Күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@adamali2886 7 күн бұрын

marriages are breaking down because there is no modesty and shame in society anymore

@piqueny8872 6 күн бұрын

Islamic rules within marriage don’t exist anymore Wife excepting to go to work and earn like a husband Husband is expected to take care and help his children aka wife duties

@adamali2886 6 күн бұрын

@@piqueny8872 how can the mans income alone pay for all of the expenses when the government prints more money out of thin air and this causes the purchasing power of the money that he earnt to reduce. So he then needs more and more money to pay for his families expenses. You cannot only implement what you like from islam and leave the rest. You have to implement islam completely. In the time of the prophet saw and in the time of the sahaba gold and silver was money. There was no worthless paper money that has no intrinsic value so one man could pay for all of his families expenses because he was earning real money

@Noodles-bn9ug 6 күн бұрын

@@piqueny8872 most men are not having the Qualities of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, were is fear Allah with regards to women. How many women get married and he well leave her and she is in a bad situation with no home and money so why you don't see through another person eyes. Most men can't be trusted no more

@piqueny8872 6 күн бұрын

@@Noodles-bn9ug I get what your saying this is why I understand why women ask for large mahr for fear the husband might leave her or remarry. No men don’t have the quality of our prophet Muhammad( Saw) decades ago mothers lives off endless gov assistance so they husband was able to have one job Now women are expected to work and still follow Islamic rules aka housewife/ parent duty cuz the gov aren’t financially providing And the husband doesn’t want to follow Islamic rules too Men are expected to help physically at home and with the kids to balance out the work load Ego tripping and social media materialistic capitalism had destroyed the Marriage of the ummah

@Noonespecial030 6 күн бұрын

@@piqueny8872A husband is supposed to help and take care of the kids regardless. It is his duty as a father just as much as the mother.

@KA-bw3wf 5 күн бұрын

We need to protect our gaze, men and women

@hoormalesinjannahforwomen2714 2 күн бұрын

Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire 43:62, Qur'an [So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you - 36:62, Qur'an [For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason? 15:39 - 40, Qur'an [For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them." 38:84 - 85, Qur'an [So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together.".... Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....

@wale4862 Күн бұрын

May Allah assist us, the things that call to our desires are so much

@Ai-nz4bd 20 сағат бұрын

I struggle with this

@wale4862 19 сағат бұрын

@@Ai-nz4bd Keep making Dua, make Dua And never giver up, we are all trying to stay afloat

@Runique76 6 күн бұрын

Marriage is built consistent, rahma ,honesty, And appreciation if you don't have that the marriage is easily broken.

@qoobsmcdoobs1 4 күн бұрын

The previous generation failed us. They shared little to no wisdom from their experiences with their mature children. They didn't work on strengthening their own marital bonds and swept their issues under the rug, expecting their children to do the same. They under valued Islamic tarbiyyah and over valued a secular worldly education. They did not verbalize and clarify expectations with their mature children and expected them to be obedient and pious intuitively, despite not providing proper Islamic guidelines and letting public school corrupt their children's worldview.

@imranniazi3983 3 күн бұрын

So what are you going to do about it then? Past is in the past…

@abcxyz3028 6 күн бұрын

It takes two to make the marriage works and honest communcation. Have a talk about expectations and the way of life they're going for. Make time for each other. Sometimes, parents raised mummy's boy and ALL houseworks fall to the wife including picking up dirty laundry from the floor. Not even helping out with the washing up, setting the table, hanging laundry, etc. These may seem minor but it will make a huge difference.

@jajazzzzz 6 күн бұрын

Today's desi women are fed up being a 'single' married-wife. And are more outspoken against oppression and injustice from the husband and in-law. It's why we're seeing such high divorce request from the wives. Men need to become real men, a real protector and provider. Not loser that uses wife as maid. And stay out all day at friends and his wider family.

@diam8829 5 күн бұрын

💯

@MrOsmanu 5 күн бұрын

If you can't do the housework on your own, you might be the loser.

@jajazzzzz 5 күн бұрын

@@MrOsmanu Someone's butthurt... Go hire a maid or run back to Mummy and your Sisters and sister-in-law's. And play on your playstation whilst you're at it lmao.

@shadmani9687 4 күн бұрын

@@jajazzzzz Desi women have become very masculine, they may seem like they are feminine, but in the household they try to wear the pants and the men take a step back to try to keep the "peace" in the family.

@MegaFatuma 4 күн бұрын

Marriage is a long term commitment. You should work as a team to try and fulfil each other’s rights, raise your children together and have mercy and compassion for each other. Husband helping wives at home , woman being respectful and not making crazy demands. Communication and trying to understand each other really helps too.

@ilakha111 6 күн бұрын

Easy fix. If spouses pray every prayer together on time without fail, you will stay together. Prayer should be the foundation of your marriage… speak from experience 👊🏾

@piqueny8872 6 күн бұрын

If the husband is at work how can he pray with his wife All prays? Don’t work if religion is not a priority in everything couples do the marriage will fail Especially interference if in laws

@sssppp1773 6 күн бұрын

Completely 💯 agree! Praying together keeps the waswas and Shayateen away.

@ilakha111 6 күн бұрын

@@piqueny8872 Thank you for sharing your thoughts brother. I appreciate today living in the west means working for an employer, but I would encourage each Muslim to open their own business. This will allow you to both earn money without being dependent on a wage thereby giving you the opportunity to establish the worship of Allah swt in your house. It's your duty as a husband and father if you have children to make this happen for your families sake. As for interference from in-laws, you as the man of your own household should be able to set boundaries with anyone that interacts with you. If you're unable to, I would suggest you seek assistance through your community or family members who can support you to achieve this.

@SA-dl6su 5 күн бұрын

@@piqueny8872 it’s why I always advice my sisters NEVER marry a man that isn’t consistent with his prayers. If he isn’t committed to ﷲ, how will he commit to you? Same works vice versa. Don’t marry a sister that doesn’t pray.

@piqueny8872 5 күн бұрын

@@SA-dl6sua Muslim marriage organisations found out men who were seeking marriage where pray 5 times! yet they had gfs baby mommas did drugs alcohol had tattoos the local imam confessed some married men who attended farj in the masjid but admitted they were off to the brothel houses after pray tellin the wife they were still at the masjid doing extra worship A person may pray fast during Ramadan yet there characters and actions is haram You have to Check all boxes these days not just based on there prays

@jannah66 5 күн бұрын

It would be good if prior to nikkah there was a short course for couples to understand their roles as a husband/ wife according to shariah & otherwise , also the vetting process needs to be more thorough . It’s also important that there’s a good family support network on both sides if possible. Most importantly both need to fear Allah in how they treat one another both in marriage & divorce if it gets to that .

@hoormalesinjannahforwomen2714 2 күн бұрын

@Queenfisa 19 сағат бұрын

There are plenty of classes like this being offered but you find that not alot of men are taking advantage of them. So when you have ppl coming into a marriage with different outlooks of what that marriage should look like then that can cause issues. Another reason that ppl tend not to take advantage of these types of classes is because they have their own way of how they want to conduct their marriage but it lacks the knowledge of Deen specifications.

@fader1912 Күн бұрын

Been looking for a spouse for almost three years and I’ve got everything in place but demands from girls are silly these days. Please brothers and sisters make dua I find a wife soon In’sha’Allah so my mum can experience some happiness in her life and I can complete my deen

@IlmFeedPodcast Күн бұрын

May Allah make it easy

@fader1912 Күн бұрын

@@IlmFeedPodcast Jazakallah

@Queenfisa 19 сағат бұрын

May Allah guide you to what's best for your Deen and Ahkhira. Allahumma Ameen

@asmaa145 6 күн бұрын

I don't agree staying with spouses who are not praying at all. Maybe give them some time with showing tham that u are not pleased what they doing. but someone who refuse to praying has no Deen nor does he have Akhlaal prayer is commanded by every prophets and make sure their love families prayed

@DeqaAbdi-ug5tk 2 күн бұрын

You should not take a spouse who does not want to pray in the first place.

@gladtidings7874 6 күн бұрын

Marriages breakdown because people don’t interview the person they’re marrying. They don’t get character references, They don’t ask important questions like do you pray, what is your aqeeda, what sheikhs do you take your deen from, how many children do you want to have, do you want me to work or stay at home etc. The person might be an abuser in a previous marriage, an adulterous or a weed addict but because you didn’t do your due diligence you won’t know til after the nikkah. Another reason is there is less arrange marriages now. Arrange marriages work better (when the two people are put together for the right reasons) because they tend to be more compatible.

@coumba5527 6 күн бұрын

My ex husband is a very good liar even when it was about Deen. Sooo maybe we women should ask for proof. Like: asking to go through his what's app to confirm that he doesn't talk to women. Wish I had done that rather than believing him 😞. People need to be honest from day 1 otherwise how do u want it to work

@MrOsmanu 5 күн бұрын

Marriages fall apart because men have no conditions and women too high. The average woman today believes that she is better than the average man. And as long as it is, nothing will change. No man has to prove anything to a woman. The other way around, yes.

@austinmacc 4 күн бұрын

You probably are as good as him at lying that's why you were both married@@coumba5527

@tarekahmad2978 3 күн бұрын

@@coumba5527my ex wife was a lying cheating narcissistic woman who pretended to be Muslim. Be careful out there brothers and sisters

@Osmosis3210 3 күн бұрын

@@coumba5527husbands who commit zina in marriages are the worst wallahi

@AReflectiveSoul 2 күн бұрын

How we are raised affects how committed we are to the marriage. I truly worry for the generations to follow because they are being taught that EVERYTHING can be replaced if you don't like it, and there is very little self-accountability. The hard work starts from the moment a child is born. Teaching our children the importance of discipline and not just the pleasure of consuming.

@Hellfire... Күн бұрын

Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire 43:62, Qur'an [So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you - 36:62, Qur'an [For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason? 15:39 - 40, Qur'an [For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them." 38:84 - 85, Qur'an [So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."

@abubakarbetts7906 3 күн бұрын

Marriage is failing because of social media. One thing people forget there’s always going to see someone you’re better than and see someone better than you. Marry for Allah’s sake and you will be okay! Stay single if you can’t respect your spouse for Allah’s sake!

@Rclsllh 2 сағат бұрын

1. Men aren’t qawamuna/ masculine anymore, they see women as someone to compete not someone to provide, protect, support, love, etc. 2. They don’t prioritize their marriages but involve their mothers and have no boundaries with their moms 3. Unrealistic Expectations 4. Social media 5. Surrounding yourself with echo chambers 6. Low imaan and taqwa 7. Expecting your spouse to be everything (best friend, therapist, maid, nanny, chef, etc)…your spouse is one person and can’t fit all these roles 8. Unsealed traumas 9. Marrying the wrong incompatible person based on superficial reasons like looks 10. Sihr, ayn, etc.

@321Sapphire123 2 күн бұрын

JazaakAllahu khayr for this podcast, ustadh Shabbir with Qari Ishaaq. Some very important topics discussed and overall a helpful and beneficial episode الحمد لله.

@IlmFeedPodcast 2 күн бұрын

Thanks for watching!

@hani786ish 3 күн бұрын

Ma’sha’Allah very good podcast

@pamk380 4 күн бұрын

One thing I didn’t necessarily agree on is just say you are open to living with in laws, u do your nikah then move in the after some time u realise actually I’m not comfortable with this, you shouldn’t have just stick it out because that could cause resentment towards the husband and then the marriage breaks down either way.

@jolaoshoabdulbateen8239 3 күн бұрын

That's why communication is very important. Emphatic Communication would work in this case 😊

@umarahmed1187 Күн бұрын

Pray ,prioritise,protect,respect ,truth no lies ,love ,loyalty effort ,problem solver ingredients to a happy marriage

@suesue9578 7 күн бұрын

It’s so sad to hear this …marriage needs patience and Rahma and compassion for your partner. It takes 2 to build a healthy marriage and 1 to destroy it 💔… May Allah bless you my brothers and sisters with god fearing spouses

@islamonlywayout 7 күн бұрын

Nicely said

@abdulmalik-rz6uo 5 күн бұрын

Very good

@Adam-kh9rb 22 сағат бұрын

Zina zina zina Its simple. Never marry someone who has committed zina and thats including yourself. You attract what you deserve.

@imranniazi3983 3 күн бұрын

There needs to be mass research on Muslims, we don’t have enough data on ourselves to have a starting point of where to start solving the problems

@tatiekbokings7930 6 күн бұрын

married the one who Allah choose not yours

@yes1256r 3 күн бұрын

Marriage is failing because we are never taught how we are supposed to be married

@Queenfisa 19 сағат бұрын

When the information isn't being given then you must go get it. There are many classes, events, books, and videos around this topic but ppl tend to wait for it to fall in their laps.

@YurrahAlHadi Күн бұрын

Can you guys go over the 40 hadiths of marriage?

@MrOsmanu 5 күн бұрын

We Muslim men think that if we get one with hicab, our lives will be easier and we will be saved. Unfortunately, we only have a picture in front of us, but we know nothing about this person's past. Everyone should know that a woman is not programmed for emotions but for survival. And if she's convinced she can't survive with you, you'll be a very, very, very....................... have a very difficult time.

@renatad.2554 4 күн бұрын

What sheikhs/scholars should we contact and ask for help? Noone is available. They offer counselling which is often very expensive. Once I called an imam, he was rude and dismissed me.

@ALBYY2412 3 күн бұрын

True

@imranniazi3983 3 күн бұрын

If you live in the US or not there are Muslim psychological services available now, not perfect I get it… but there is something

@Donotcare6 3 күн бұрын

Because we are far from the religion of Allah (SW). I never seen 2 true worshiper of Allah (SW) having difficulty staying together. But if you're a dayuuth and she believes Feminism is above the law of Allah (SW) good luck with staying married and having a happy marriage. This is very simple. If you want to be happy in this life and next, then make Allah (SW) happy by following his rules.

@HowToTouch 21 сағат бұрын

Facts.

@Nabzilla1 4 күн бұрын

Such an important topic 🙌🏽

@tekkman4485 7 күн бұрын

Social media..

@islamonlywayout 7 күн бұрын

Big problem

@piqueny8872 6 күн бұрын

Parents gave the children too much unislamic freedoms Not enough adult responsibilities Taught or given This generation life is work travel vacations out with friends party celebrate every haram holiday Take pictures for social media Me myself and I worldly gain

@Hope-r1w 11 сағат бұрын

My husband had many times threatened me that he will leave me and that I will end up on the road. I have been reminded many times during our marriage that I have nothing of my own. In the past 1month he threatened me 2times because I refused to abort our baby and I refused to get involved in riba. To all my brothers and sisters, never compromise your akhira for your spouse.

@Osmosis3210 3 күн бұрын

There’s always a third party ! That’s why . It’s not the woman’s fault all the time . Sometimes the men have female friends and ex’s that they still keep in contact with . It’s so sad wallahi .

@jewellerydreamer173 20 сағат бұрын

People marry potential and go in with assumptions without being direct or making own preferences clear. I believe its to do with social media, movies etc placing unrealistic expectations of how a romantic relationship will be. People havena fantasy and delusion in their head of what someone will be like. Husbands marrying virgins but expect them to be experienced in the bedroom and then wives wanting to be provided more because they see on social media going on holidays, eating out etc. Its fine to do all those things but have to be understanding and considerate of eachother. Give eachother basic rights, learn about rights and obligations even after marriage..also dont get parents involved in your disagreements unless its absolutely necessary and give eachother grace and consideration

@Amazigh_MaeMae 2 күн бұрын

People dont put up with stuff anymore. Women have their own money and are not depended on a man that abuses her and knows she cant go anywhere. Now women can go somewhere.

@lovehadi7233 Күн бұрын

I agree with this. Women know their islamic rights, and men now don't get their way😅

@RIMJANESSOHMALOOG 2 сағат бұрын

@@lovehadi7233it sounds good but when women have the options to leave, it’s gonna fail obviously

@Icywar Күн бұрын

Women happiness is based upon man's happiness. Lead the woman they don't know what's good for them except the MAN

@YurrahAlHadi Күн бұрын

😂 Who told you that?

@HowToTouch 21 сағат бұрын

@@YurrahAlHadiExperience

@RIMJANESSOHMALOOG Сағат бұрын

It’s allowed for women to work but this is destroying marriages I think. Money means something else for women because they are vulnerable. It means they have options to disobey, disrespect or even destroy the marriage, leaving the kids traumatised, just because money gives women some kind of power!

@aibel99 16 сағат бұрын

Both sexes in the comments section like to blame each other but in reality, we've both hot our faults and if you're honest with yourself, you will recongise this.

@japanesemaple2462 2 күн бұрын

Bear in mind all these topics that are issues now have been dealt with by an older generation with patience

@naziastanikzai5997 3 күн бұрын

It is bcz of social media The ladies and men are watching everything in the social media and it has negative impact on their social relationships

@MikeSpence-wk6iv 2 күн бұрын

A lot of men are going abroad back to more traditional countries to get married. I know a bengali brother born in the UK and went back to find a wife 10 years his junior from a good family. They now have children, and she's a stay at home mum alhamdulilah.

@A.--. 6 күн бұрын

Foreplay is less fun when you marry late so marry early (around 16-17 if possible).

@catcoffee7958 5 күн бұрын

They are still kids at that age,,, and marrige is not only about foreplay,,, get your priorites right xx

@A.--. 5 күн бұрын

@@catcoffee7958 did you go to middle school? We were foreplay with our girlfriend in 8th grade (Haram!)

@shadmani9687 4 күн бұрын

@@catcoffee7958 16 and 17 year old are not kids just because government says it is. But ofcourse follow the rules in the country. They are not kids regardless.

@imranniazi3983 3 күн бұрын

Hit the gym and eat healthy… muscles never age so get going and soon you will be young again

@Donotcare6 3 күн бұрын

@@catcoffee7958😂😂. Istaqfurullah. 17 year old man or woman is not a child.