Eating Disorders and Childhood Trauma -- An Analysis

[@Fashionalternative]

My sister is so far into an eating disorder and in complete denial about it we have abusive parents and I think she developed it out of a need for control in such a traumatic environment

[@lauraosswald5812]

Anorexic here: all of this is spot on and if also would like to add that a lot of it is also self hate and wanting to destroy the physical shell so that you disappear amd are finally set free because the world is so harsh and overwhelming. Starvation slows your mind and makes it more bearable to cope with the depression and the memories and thoughts

[@Anna-f8b]

Yes, there is a self-destruct component here. I suffered from bulimia and I also felt trapped in a hated body that I wanted to punish and destroy. While you were starving yourself to help numb your pain, I was numbing myself by overeating. These ways of saving oneself from emotional hell are related to the defense mechanism of dissociation - as I learned from the publications of trauma therapists.

[@ShadeCandle]

Sweet food can be a stand-in for affection, when affection is unavailable. A lot of food addiction helps us cope with attachment injuries and loneliness, in my experience.

[@Anna-f8b]

The first taste we experience after birth is mother's milk. It is a sweet taste, strongly associated with a sense of security. When a small baby is fed with milk, the mother hugs it and talks to it. Feeding a small child is an important moment for bonding. According to attachment theory, when we feel stressed, we look for an attachment figure (that's why politicians causing a crisis can easily manipulate us ☠💉☣). The sweet taste may symbolize mother. When I was struggling with bulimia, I had the greatest craving for sweets, which brought me blissful relief and drowsiness. My mother was emotionally unavailable to me.

[@Prettyboyred336]

I've noticed I have an eating disorder since age 10. Now 40. My mom used to abuse me. Sometimes she would go too far. Then feel bad. On those days she would tell me to go get her purse. Then she would say to me. Momma sorry she hurt her poor baby. Momma didn't mean to hit you that hard. Momma didn't mean to punch you like that. Momma didn't mean to throw you against the refrigerator. But you made mamma mad. Here's a couple of dollars. Walk to the store and get you some junk food. You'll be ok. I didn't hurt you that bad. Being shunned into silence, by so many people in my everyday surroundings. Constantly being invalidated. Food became the only means for comfort.

[@Sketch_Sesh]

I’m sorry to hear that happened. It’s wrong how she treated you

[@CristinaAcosta]

Oh honey. She committed a terrible mind-f&$k on your sensitive child brain. Sending you blessings.

[@Cynthia-Landers]

Man that's SO effed up. I am SO SORRY that shit went on. Your last 3 sentences describe my childhood! EXTREMELY dysfunctional family, plus tons of junky food.

[@ibrawill9983]

Hey my dear brother! What your mother did was horrible and a crime. But that is not how it is supposed to be. The one God created parents, especially mothers, to be a source of His love and nurturing. Some parents fail miserably in fulfilling their responsibilty, but they most likely have their own big issues and did not use their intellect to recognize that their Creator and Sustainer is watching. So they just gave in to their impulses. But that is animalistic and a grave crime, as it entails huge ingratitude towards the one God who created them as HUMANS with capacities to think and act with caution. I tell you from deep within me to use this opportunity of brokennes and to turn to your creator and true nurturer that made you grow and provides you everyday with sustenance. We are completely dependent on Him. This brokenness can be your greatest blessing if it makes you realize that you as the creation of the one God, just as everyone else, is completely dependent on Him and his help. The wealthy and the outwardly poor, the sttong and and the outwardly weak, everyone was once a useless drop of fluid. It is Him that made us grow, formed us perfectly and gave us sight, hearing and hearts to think with. It is Him that makes our hearts beat and gives us provision with air, food, water, relationsships and innumerably more. He makes use be alive and maintains every cell of our body and every organ, for example ormur digestion system. We dont and cant do anything in keeping us alive and creating provision. It is Him alone, the Creator, Owner and Sustainer of this unimaginably harmoniously ordered universe. Most people unfortunately are distracted by the very bkessings that are supposed to make them recognize their Caring Lord and their complete dependence on His sustenance. We are his slaves. And what an amazing Master we have, an all-powerful-, completely unique and perfect, hugely loving Master. Life is a test regarding whether one is truthful and humble towards His Loving Master, who gave us the chance to recognize Him and His Greatness, Loving Care and Oneness for us to lovingly and humbly subordinate ourselves to Him with due slavehood. That is where true contentment rests, one that will last to eternity. But arrogance will lead to the fire. Plead to Him with due neediness and full trust, my brother. He answers the prayers, praise be to Him. This is your chance.

[@Rose_Ou]

I think men with trauma have tendency to go in the other direction. Rather than starving themselves, they decide to get control in a form of bodybuilding and becoming as masculine as possible, particularly those men who were humiliated as children, physically/verbally/sexually. So many people cannot live without gym and lifting heavy weights. Just look at their pictures on social media.

[@ryank6322]

I think this is true. The amount of guys on the internet who push "go to gym, brooooo!!" as the solution to every personal problem is downright weird. Are you sad? Go to the gym! Are you fat? Go to the gym! Did your girl cheat on you? Go to the gym! Are you lost and aimless in life? Go to the gym! Did your father hit and abuse you? Go to the gym! It shows a childish level of understanding of what is needed to actually live. There are so many dimensions to living a healthy and happy life that don't involve a gym that are sidelined and ignored. And there is an expectation put on us guys to be able to be in control of things, and to be protectors and put ourselves in harms way for others.

[@Rose_Ou]

@@ryank6322 very well written 👍whatever happened to a nice long mindful walk which is a great form of activating the whole body and appreciating nature at the same time(?)

[@spacegirl226]

My ex husband went through a gym bro stage. Rather than go through therapy, he exercised. Rather than addressing the mental problems, he only dealt with the physical weight issues. Exercise IS great when it's put in conjunction with therapy and other self help, self love activities. I don't knock anyone who wants to exercise, but that's not the only thing required when dealing with the trauma of an alcoholic mother and a coward father. Last I saw of him, he looks terrible. He aged so much in the two years after I left. He'd worked so hard to lose that weight. Oh well.

[@bmxt939]

David Goggins as most exaggerated example. Terry Crews as more subtle.

[@bmxt939]

​@@ryank6322In a world of male loneliness it's less frown upon form of comradery after drinking buddies. An in a prism of childish masculinity it's not as bad as playing board games or something of that nature.

[@anarcho-communist11]

Fascinating. I don't know what my eating disorder was called where I'd starve myself for 2 to 3 days then break down and overeat, without hurling it up. I'd definitely say it was a way to feel some control. Possibly also the fear of getting bigger was from a desire to disappear completely or to stay a child.

[@fseesauras]

Sounds like binge eating/purging

[@divinealchemy3078]

For me, anorexia was a form of self-deletion, a slow, long process of letting go of my core identity, authentic voice and true desires and needs that were never met, never even considered by my parents who never really did their job of raising me, as I was heavily parentified and kinda had to step in as a co-parent to my younger siblings. I guess, on a subconscious level, my ED was a protest against me complying with my parents' expectations of me to serve them, exist as their life support, instead of developing my own personality and going after my own goals and dreams... I eventually realized this (after reading Marion Woodman's books, who did amazing job explaining the psychology behind eating disorders) and decided to re-parent myself and give myself what my own family didn't even care about doing (I also don't think they were like this consciously, just mentally and emotionally stuck in their own trauma when their own needs for love and safety weren't met in their childhood)

[@panfilolivia]

I totally understand what you mean. Anorexia was a mood dampener but it also was a way to seek to disappear. I can totally relate to the ED being a protest against parent's control and expectations. What Marion Woodman book would you recommend the most?

[@Notperfectbunny]

amazing! U just described my life and struggles .thank you for the lessons. your videos saved my life! I love the authenticity u give.

[@priscilam.9808]

I have a somewhat serious congenital liver disease that I share with my mom and both my brothers. My mom forced me and my brothers to eat when we were feeling sick due to this problem for MANY years. I ended up with binge eating disorder because I was forced to eat for so long that now I dont know how much I actually need to eat. Im in my 40s and my mental health is in a lot better shape. Im getting my physical health more in check too. I KNOW that parents are the ones that cause eating disorders but no one is prepared for this conversation yet.

[@stacielivinthedream8510]

My parents were laughing hysterically at me when I got home from school when I was 13. My mom was laughing so hard she told my dad to tell me, so he proceeded to tell me that my legs looked like two tree stumps when I was waiting for the school bus that morning! I went into shock, went to my room, and cried. I turned to starvation and lost 50 pounds over the 3 month summer vacation. They never said a thing as I starved myself! Obviously loved it! Still at 59, I am unable to really keep food down. It's still safer for me to drink protein shakes. That's what I really live on! Any little bits of food in my stomach bother me. I can only eat tiny amounts, but it has to be before I have plans, so I won't throw it up.

[@michasosnowski5918]

I can relate to feeling full quickly and the shame of being judged harshly and unfairly. Sorry that you went thru that also.

[@stacielivinthedream8510]

@@michasosnowski5918 Thank you!

[@ml9540]

it feels indeed rare to must eat to stay alive which i never chosen anyway and it feels unnatural at all. i feel disquieting the body is.

[@GlasUndMetall]

I'm so sorry they said that and laughed at you on top of it, I can relate. People can be so cruel.

[@CeciledeLuire]

that is horrible. So sorry to hear about your nearly lifelong Odysee... Have you ever tried to get help?

[@going-easy]

I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your videos. You're one of my favorite KZbinrs when it comes to discussing traumatic parents. Your insights always resonate with me, and I look forward to each new video you put out.In your latest video, you mentioned how some people just can't accept that their parents were traumatizing and abusive. This really hit home for me. My sister has been struggling with an eating disorder and has been severely overweight for the past 30 years, although she didn't have this problem when she was younger.In our family, it seems like we all have some kind of eating disorder. My mother is emotionally unstable, and my father might be a covert narcissist or have traits of Asperger's or autism-definitely a traumatic environment. Realizing what happened to me took a lot of time and was incredibly painful, but my sister refuses to acknowledge any of it. She remains very close to our parents, who are now in their mid-70s.Two years ago, my sister was diagnosed with colon cancer. Honestly, I sometimes feel like she might be trying to follow our parents to the grave, trying to stay the "good child." Her diet, like drinking two liters of Coke daily for decades, probably contributed to her cancer. Despite a major surgery, she hasn’t changed her habits.When you mentioned in your video that some people would rather die than confront their past, it really struck a chord. I see my sister as one of those people. It's terrifying because I want her to live a long life, but I fear her refusal to face our shared history is costing her that chance.Your video resonated deeply with me, and I hope more people can find the strength to acknowledge and heal from their past. Thank you for the work you do-it's truly impactful.

[@victoriahorton4443]

i love when there is a notification that daniel mackler made a video. much ❤ to you daniel 🙏

[@melissao9836]

You hit the nail on the head. My boyfriend of 60 yrs old has anorexia. He is a kind , gentle soul who is terrified to trust due to the trauma he endured as a child of 10 yrs old. Whenever we begin getting close to one another he typically runs away until he feels safe . Thank you for sharing your thoughts . You are helping so many people!

[@pillipuu]

this is so good. thank you for this. i have trauma, sexual and physical and emotional abuse trauma. it started when i was 8-9yo. first i went to food for comfort. i loved to bake and eat. i baked almost everyday and comfort ate. it was my safety haven. truly. the love that was missing. my family didn’t know i was sexually abused as a child and i felt very alienated and out of reach anyway, but food really was my safety. i was bullied, even by my family for being overweight, shamed and such. then i decided to lose weight at 17yo, over restricted and it was obsessive, unhealthy and i became a bulimic, was re-traumatized in an abusive relationship and my ed has progressed to a point where my profile is closer to anorexia than bulimia. im still here but damn.

[@CeciledeLuire]

so sorry you had and have to go through this abuse paired with your family's blindness or unwillingness to see what is going on.. I wish and hope you can get better soon. 💛

[@pillipuu]

@@CeciledeLuire thank you🧡

[@spacegirl226]

I'm glad you're still here. Hang in there. You can heal. I wish you the best.

[@CeciledeLuire]

@@spacegirl226 exactly...

[@pillipuu]

@@spacegirl226 thank you

[@annajaworska3627]

Dear Daniel, thank you very much for his video. For decades I have been suffering from bulimia, eating huge amounts as a result of my childhood trauma. Recently I have noticed that I have a very hard time to go out for a walk or to leave my apartment. Listening to you I became aware that any going out have been causing a huge anxiety for me. Stress in my body, tension in my muscles, then of body aches. Listening to you I became aware that going out it means I separate myself from food. Going out, even getting ready to go out cases my body to go into shock, put back me into origin of my trauma all over again. This is only one of so many consequences what i deal with today as a result what i went through as a child.

[@spacegirl226]

I wish you the best in your recovery. You can do it and you ARE worth the effort to heal and recover. High fives and hugs to you.

[@michasosnowski5918]

I was waiting for this kind of video. I think you nailed it. Out of control environment, trauma, comfort, shutting down feelings, emptiness. I identify with one of those disorders. I think it was combination of lack of real love, compensating with alot of food available and forcing me to eat at times when I didnt want to eat. There was also violent, screaming and drinking father who I was afraid of for the whole of my childhood. Mother could be violent, but with her it was combination of love, use and abuse. Its no suprise that I have developed problems with control and eating.

[@veeewap]

I send light to those healing

[@baghabit7696]

Clicked so fast on this. Thank you Daniel! Your channel is so important. Ouch, this hit home a little too hard: “the person scapegoats themselves by having an eating disorder…oh no, they had a nice life. There was no trauma. The problem is the eating disorder”. This has been my family narrative all along. 😭 😭. Daniel, what are your thoughts on AN BP? It’s like the worst of anorexia and bulimia at the same time. Double the intensity. I relate to both EDs. Please talk more about EDs. Probably the most insightful and real person I’ve listened to on KZbin. Please don’t stop making videos ❤

[@fseesauras]

You're right about the advantages of being (morbidly) obese, I'm obese myself and it is protective

[@emmanuellacontopoulou]

Something must have urged you to upload this video in the morning of a weekday. Someone probably needed it desperately... It is such an important topic that I had to stop work and listen to it. There are so many people talking about eating disorders nowadays, but looking at it through the lens of childhood trauma is the way that it needs to be approached. Unfortunately, it will take a few more decades for the mental health system to move towards this direction, apart from a few enlightened exceptions. Thankfully, there are a few more people now talking about the relationship between childhood trauma and eating disorders. There is a book by Kelly McDaniel titled "Mother Hunger" that is very relevant, focusing on the mother-daughter relationship in particular. Tim Fletcher also speaks a lot about this and the Shame that Daniel mentions, which is a huge issue in trauma. Alice Miller also touched it in one of her books. I hope people will start seeing the connection, but they have to be honest with themselves and this is always a very hard thing to do...

[@Anna-f8b]

Thank you for sharing such an insightful observation. Recently I read Judith Herman's book "Trauma and Recovery. The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse To Political Terror", in which she showed how difficult it is to raise social awareness about trauma, even among professionals. Fortunately, changes are coming. Thank you very much for recommending a new book about eating disorders. I am happy that I can buy Kelly McDaniel's book in my country, it has been translated. I also found interviews with her and I'm glad I'll be able to watch them before I buy the book. The relationship with my mother is so complicated and difficult that I need to find out more. There are relatively few books, articles and videos on this topic in relation to eating disorders, so any new information is valuable. I recommend Sue Gerhardt's book "Why Love Matters" about the impact of the bond with the mother on the development of the child's brain and personality, as well as the negative impact of developmental trauma. I also recommend a very good book, perhaps a pioneer in this topic: John Bradhaw "Healing Shame That Binds You" - it's about toxic shame you mentioned. It is also worth reading his other books: "Homecoming" - about the therapy of the inner child (a manual on how to love yourself after trauma - reparenting) and "Family Secrets. What you don't know can hurt you" - about the system of a dysfunctional family and it's impact on our lives.

[@emmanuellacontopoulou]

@@Anna-f8b Thank you for the books you recommended 🙏🏻 The book "Mother Hunger" touches many more issues, not just eating disorders.

[@Anna-f8b]

@@emmanuellacontopoulou Thank you too, I'm really looking forward to reading this book. Earlier, I came across Bethany Webster, who talks about the maternal wound as inherited intergenerationally in a patriarchal system. This is also an interesting approach to this topic.

[@GlasUndMetall]

Thank you for @3:53 - not once in all the therapies (in the '80s before I gave up on therapy) was anyone ever willing to address the removal of love, it was always "Your mother was ill, she was doing the best she could". It took me years to understand that no she wasn't. She refused to help herself at the expense of everyone else because she only cared about herself. My mother had some kind of mental illness and she would lock herself in her bedroom for two or three days with boxes of crackers and such. No other food in the house, no way to get to her. I have this specific memory of sitting on the floor outside of that door picking at my fingernails that were bloody from scratching the door crying because I was scared and alone and starving. Timelines aren't great for me but I think I was about 6 years old. My dad traveled and I wasn't allowed to call family who were 4 hours away anyway. I'm 63 now and sometimes still have to process that event, generally my brain will spit it out in an effort to derail better habits (less sugar/processed food in favor of proteins and natural foods). My top weight was 462 lbs. as an adult, I've lost over 200 lbs. of that over the last 5 years but to do that I've had to confront this event and others from my past. Food has always been comfort for me because if I was eating things were ok when I was a child. You cannot tell me that there isn't a direct link, I've lived it. I'm good now, I can talk about it now, and I'm writing this because maybe there's someone else who can relate but isn't as far down the recovery road as I am, I'm a good way along and my life is good so to you, reading this: there is another side and you can get there. Be kind to yourself. Part of that kindness is treating your body like you care (even if you sometimes [often?] feel like you don't). Hard to learn, sometimes hard to implement, but so worth it. You are worth it.

[@gauloise6442]

"She refused to help herself at the expense of everyone else because she only cared about herself." I've seen eating disorders linked esp to having parents who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or other Cluster B disorders, but I still dont fully understand it, but your comment helps

[@GlasUndMetall]

​@@gauloise6442 I'm glad it helps. I don't fully understand it either but reading comments and talking to other people has helped me. One of the wonderful things about the internet.

[@spacegirl226]

I'm sorry you went through such a harrowing experience with your mother. My heart goes out to adult you and that frightened child with the bloody fingernails. Congratulations on losing so much weight. It wasn't easy. I hope you continue to do well.

[@GlasUndMetall]

@@spacegirl226 Thank you, I'm really happy in my life now. All the changes largely alleviated my lifelong depression and while my social anxiety still rears it's head from time to time I have tools to manage it now. I'm glad I neve gave up on myself in the end. I wish you all the best in life.

[@lilafeldman8630]

So true in so many ways. I do not have an eating disorder and never have, thankfully. But I can relate to developing compulsive behaviors around ways that we get love. I developed a religious addiction, and scrupulosity, as a way of coping, getting control and finding love. Religion became a way to get love and approval. I can also relate to the extremes, swinging to extremes. Being out of balance. Also the way that families will write it off as a "mental Illness" and deal with the disorder, rather than focus on the trauma. My extended family has done this to me. Will rather see me as someone with a mental illness, rather than stepping in and helping me--when I was a kid--with what was going on in the family.

[@beckymagnolia1]

Wow......this video just told me my childhood story. It's time to give myself the love I had pushed away

[@ignasmaciulis1095]

I was scrolling through a forum just this morning and the question asked today was "how do you love yourself". It was somewhat alarming to see the sheer number of people who just quoted (unironically, I suppose) "eating all of the unhealthy foods that I am not supposed to eat" as a way to love themselves.

[@panfilolivia]

i hope you do more videos regarding anorexia nervosa, great videos, the one about why you stopped being a therapist was really memorable. Totally AN is 100% about control. And the idealization of parents is so real. I think family therapy would have helped ME because so much of it is entangled with stuff i dont have a say in unless they are there, at least not until I move out. therapy sessions for ana was useless and the control of the mystery weigh ins only reinforced unhealthy feelings of feeling out of control like a panopticon. In a disorder born out of feeling without control, how are we supposed to put our path to recovery on the hands of someone else? and how is following someone ELSES guidelines supposed to fix that we compulsively follow unhealthy rigid patterns and behaviours of our own? Thats not tearing those down, its just changing the script. This video really ressonated x

[@bmxt939]

I remember when my loneliness met my untrust to people, while being with my parents in some resort where you could eat whatever you want without a limit. I felt like possessed by pig spirit like parents in that Ghibli movie. And I felt sorry to my body after it, didn't understand why I overrated to the point of having no energy for the rest of the day. I don't even understand how I could eat that much, today it would be impossible for me. But now I understand that having my narcissistic controlling father and seni narcissistic enabling codependent mother was the real reason. All that shame and undeserved guilt that I wasn't even able to share and therefore clearly understand pushed me into the only path I can have bodily pleasure and sense of comfort.

[@Thisfirstthatthen]

Thank you for this insight Daniel, thank you for saying the quiet parts out loud.

[@philc494]

Thank you so much. Wish this was a 90 min talk!

[@HotPlastik]

Always appreciate your videos Daniel. This one is on point as always. Definitely have come across the notion that people who eat a lot for comfort are trying to satisfy some basic need for unconditional parental love that was never met. Certainly changes the way we think about the challenges many people face with eating disorders, but also with addiction more broadly. Not sure if it's anecdotal or my biased view, but it seems that more and more people who work in the area of mental health have started to put much more emphasis on developmental trauma as it could very well underpin much of the mental health crisis we see today, which makes you wonder whether it's always been this way and people were just a lot better at hiding it, or something has fundamentally changed in terms of how much we push ourselves and our kids.

[@dashawnthomas444]

I’m a guy with ARFID this video hits the nail and also if there is any of you that is struggling with Eating Disorders please reach out to someone please and also drink some ENSURE! It’s been saving my life recently

[@kavitamins]

This was a timely video, thank you!

[@lostintranslation286]

Always given silent treatment, never nurtured, never listened to, always left in isolation with no supervision at a young age. Blamed their work for not being emotionally available. Whenever i tried to talk to her, I wasnt heard, and it was told to others. Constantly demeaned, bullied infront of others. Her fits of fury. Waking up everyday... It was better until my dad wasnt home. As soon as he retired, it was a screaming match and slowly developed an ED. Had no sibling to talk to either. Everyday waking up in panic from screaming. And the next second to pretend its normal.

[@SamuelThornton2024]

Thanks for sharing your insights Daniel. A family member has this disorder and I feel I have a better understanding of them.

[@Lisa-qt4hh]

Thank you for this video Daniel! I had an eating disorder when I was 14 (13 years ago) and it was all about control. I also have obsessive compulsive disorder and obtained a diagnosis (quite unexpectedly) of autism recently. I think it very much related to emotional neglect. I had to deal with changes in my life and I had to make choices, and I had no real guidance in all of that (even though my parents were loving in many ways). My parents did not really talk to me about anything to do with emotion and internal struggles and only criticized visible behaviour; things like withdrawing socially, which was because of intense social anxiety but they did see that or ask about it. I also explained the idea of control, ocd, and anorexia in another comment that I will paste here too, perhaps it might be interesting. This answer was in reply to the question of how people with anorexia withstand hunger: For me it started as a means to get control over my life and body when a lot was changing in my life. I'm quite sure it was linked to my obsessive compulsive disorder. The OCD makes me fear things, such as others or myself dying or becoming sick, but also changing in terms of personality and physical appearance, and I have to perform certain compulsions to deal with that fear. If I do the compulsion, such as touching something a certain way or thinking a certain thought repeatedly, it releases the stress (even though performing the compulsion can be stressful) because then this feared future won't come true is the (irrational) idea. So, the restrictions in terms of eating were for me a compulsion to deal with the fear of losing control and changing/change, but now I had to refrain from doing something. Hunger is such a strong physical sensation, which actually gave me the feeling that if I could resist this and remain in control, not give in, then I can resist anything. So hunger, although uncomfortable, was strangely comforting to me, because the stronger it was, the more proof it provided for me that I was able to withstand anything threatening my control, and that I could retain power over my situation. Of course this is very sad because in reality your body loses control and its ability to function normally

[@spacegirl226]

My former best friend has an eating disorder of overeating. She was tormented as a kid and teen because her grandmother is highly narcissistic and abused her and her mother. She's had gastric bypass and didn't change her habits and gained all the weight back she lost and then some. She's tried a lot of quick fixes, the latest being Ozempic, which is very, very dangerous. She is a case study of what Daniel is talking about with unresolved trauma and not being loved. Her body is ruined, but she doesn't care. She believes this misery is something she deserves. She's on antidepressants. She won't go to therapy. She knows recovery would be difficult and her life has always been quick fixes that do more harm than good. I pity her, but I had to let her go because she was taking out her trauma on me. My family has severe health issues too, and to watch her make awful choices and hurt herself triggered my trauma and codependency and it wasn't healthy for me to be around that as I try to recover and do my own healing. I wish she would get help and realize she doesn't deserve this misery. Her family put her through the wringer and still do. But she's good and well stuck. There has to be justice for victims of these evil parents. They do so much damage. Thank you, Daniel.

[@carnigoth]

I have been forced to eat disgustingly cooked meals by many family members. That aside, childhood trauma adds up to distrust and can affect food intake. Besides the mental work, ketogenic diets can be very helpful with bulemia and anorexia, because the SAD diet is designed to keep you hangry.

[@h4xi0rek]

Tbh the only therapeutic use for keto is when someone has epilepsy, for other people it's only perk is that it gives off a perception of being more satiated. In reality it's almost impossible to stick to it consistently because it's awful due to no carbs (and it's awful to your body as well because it overloads liver and pancreas and you won't be able to do any intense effort due to lack of glucose/glycogen). Overall the thing that matters the most is having calorie intake adequate to your energy needs and a balance of essential nutreins and fiber, no matter the means how you achieve that.

[@emmanuellacontopoulou]

Please read the work of Chris Palmer on the role of ketogenic diet in psychiatric disorders. There is much more to it than epilepsy, but of course it is not for everyone and it has to be done under supervision.

[@carnigoth]

​@@emmanuellacontopoulouI totally agree. Keto is way beyond epilepsy. I have tremendous health benefits beyond mental health.

[@h4xi0rek]

@@carnigoth question is if keto itself was the determining factor or it could be achieved by other means. In my case, when I do a lot of more intense sports, actually limiting carbs caused increase in insomnia, increase in depressive symptoms, issues with recovery between sessions and inability to do more intense efforts/faster onsets of fatigue. Reducing fat intake in favor of carbs alleviated most of those symptoms. Also, when I relied on fat too much it caused diarrhea. I will look into the research done by this guy though I still remain a bit skeptical, as history has over and over shown that many times a hype over a given diet got debunked by other studies which failed to recreate the supposed benefits. He also seems to state that is only one of the components of a bigger puzzle and that it should go in line with other changes in lifestyle. Didn't know about the benefits related to schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, interesting read, always good to learn something :)

[@pocketknife]

super insightful, i’ve heard a lot about eating disorders being control issues but rarely any discussion on WHY people have control issues. would be interested in hearing more of a deep dive on bulimia or, as another topic, complex ptsd. thanks as always

[@tahiyamarome]

Spot on to examine eating itself. My father used food to torture me. When i told him about bulemia he said i should resume it because at least i was less fat. Completely agree about the armor of fat. People listened to me, took me seriously, and men stopped hitting on me which was terrifying. Decades of bulemia and anorexia myself. It's always family dynamics or trauma or some kind in my opinion.

[@TheMightyPika]

Every time I watch one of your videos, I realize that my traumas are way more severe than I thought they were.

[@laceybates3178]

I am now pretty much recovered from anorexia but people used to ask me all the time "what started it?" And i still dont know how to answer it because i just have no idea what made me spiral down so far so fast

[@itsme-dt1xb]

Hi Daniel, very interesting video, thank you for your insight. Regarding anorexia, I have also experienced a phenomenon in my own circle of friends and acquaintances. Many friends who suffer from anorexia have one thing in common: they are part of a family that seems perfect from the outside. Most of the time the parents are financially successful and enjoy a high reputation. Each of these friends has a parent (usually the father) who places extreme importance on the child's appearance. One's entire childhood was reduced only to one's appearance and body shape. Being thin meant being able to please your parent. Every weight loss is seen as an achievement and success.

[@bernadettemcmaster4560]

That is so true! You have nailed it Daniel, Thank You❤️

[@marymoonchild2801]

I was struggling a lot in my teens with ED, never got any help professionally. Not really sure what the main cause of it was, since there was a lot of toxicity in regards to my relationship with certain elderly female member of my family as well as other issues that I don't want to go into. I sort of think that this woman was projecting a lot of stuff onto me from her youth. My parents tried to help as best as they could but unless you want to break the cycle of ED yourself, nothing and no one will help. Problem with certain types of abuse really is that your mind forces the memory out and all you are left with is PTSD where certain people/situations are extremly triggering and you can't really remember why, but you know that something happend and you are trying to cope. When you tell people about your suspicions and feelings, they'll just shrug it off despite knowing that there was an abuser (who already tried to violate another person) in the family. In my case it doesn't matter anymore because the abuser is long dead (I was about 11 when he died) but I would actually love to remember what precisely happend, because it would help me with trying to solve my issues and move on with my life. I still experience problems with eating (aversion to foods, also textures and colors of foods) and urge to have at least some sort physical activity after eating. As a teen I would eat only healthy foods in very small quantities and then would excercise excessively. Anyway, this was very insightful, especially bit about control. Thank you.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

Binge eater here. You hit the nail on the head. I can even pinpoint when my eating disorder became fully fleshed out. Faced a very traumatic event at the hands of a family member. That's notthe cause though. I did everything i was supposed to. Told my parents aa soon as i could safely. It was being forced to interact with my abusers and pretending everything was ok while my mom flashed me dirty looks at holiday parties because eating was my only comfort in a time whwn my needs where being neglected in favor of the apearances of a family that wasn't a mess. I had knives thrown at my feet, but was told that person loves me. It was expected i behave because heaven forbid my abiser had to face anything beyond being enabled. The twisted thing is he indirectly tells me im enabled because i can't move past any of it and im now disabled. That was the straw that broke me. One job mom had and she wasn't capable

[@GlasUndMetall]

I'm sorry that happened to you and what stuck out for me in what you wrote was "pretending everything was ok", because SAME. Go through these atrocities and you have to box it all into your brain and just shut up. So much damage, just to not be able to talk about it, just so much. Thank you for sharing. I personally feel like the more we discuss these issues the better we can help the ones that come after us. No more secrets.

[@coolranch7537]

Sorry that happened to you, get/feel better if possible

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

@@GlasUndMetall I never wanted to pretend everything was ok. In fact I remember one time after the traumatic incident I was verbally very cynical. I was about 10 years old. I was in the passenger seat my mom was driving and if that's not a clear communication of needing help to get through my emotions I don't know what is. My mom sarcastically quipped "you're so optimistic" I was in the middle of my 20's before Ilearned that that definition for optimistic wasn't negative thinking. I wasn't pretending I was ok, but my mom demanded I put on a show for other people so she wouldn't look bad. My gravitational pull towards food during holidays was a reflection of her, but I didn't really matter. My struggle to deal with having a cousin throw knives at my feet didn't matter. Nearly 40 years and I'm still grieving over this.

[@GlasUndMetall]

@@Sarah-with-an-H "put on a show for other people so she wouldn't look bad" to me, in my mind and my experience (and we are all different) having to put on a show for other people was pretending everything was ok because I couldn't be myself, I didn't really even know who I was tbh. My brain is strange though, I'll be the first to admit it, so perhaps my definition and yours don't align. I am sorry that you experienced that.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

@@GlasUndMetall I've always had a fairly clear sense of self, but we're all different. My mom has told me she doesn't have any sense of self. I end up fighting with her only because I have to fight to get my needs met at all. She had a rather abusive childhood as well where her sister manipulated her the entire go, but she's also quite fragile so any criticism was taken as being the scapegoat when the reality is she probably did act out sometimes as a reaction to her position within her family being what it is. The results ended up being she cares more about pleasing her sister than she did protecting me her child Wich means she allowed the abuse to happen and then lied to me that my abuser loves me.

[@jasminfromgermany7960]

What about horriffic feelings of sadness, desperation? Its not only emptiness. Its not looking for satisfaction. It is escaping from desperation that is so bad that you cant stand it anymore and you esscape by eating. How can you calm down without eating amd without medication. Learn to love oneself. Biut how if you are traumatized? There are feelngs that are so horrible that you just cant stand it. What can you do???

[@Anna-f8b]

Dear Jasmin, I'm with you on this. What helps me learn to love myself is inner child therapy. It's not easy to love yourself right away after decades of abuse, but the first thing I felt was compassion for this little girl. Do you know John Bradshaw's book "Homecoming"? This is a practical manual on how to take care of our inner child. From this book you can learn what impact traumas have had on us, what needs from different periods of development were unmet, and how these needs can be met in adult life. You can also look for videos with John Bradshaw. I don't know if you are in a situation of ongoing trauma right now, or if you have experienced trauma in the past and are currently struggling with emotional flashbacks. In both of these situations, you can benefit from the knowledge shared by Irene Lyon, a trauma therapist: kzbin.info Experiencing trauma causes emotional dysregulation and Irene Lyon explains what this is. What we need after trauma is to learn emotional self-regulation. In eating disorders, we use food for this purpose. When we were children, our mother was the one who should have regulated our emotions, that is, dealt with everything we felt, soothed our pain, and brought a sense of security whenever we needed it. Unfortunately, this was missing, we did not have a secure attachment style with our parents. However, we can learn how to take care of ourselves. Sending you hugs!

[@m8x8m]

thank you, Daniel

[@ml9540]

your knowledge is above most ! you have a lot of experience and are talented ❤😊you want to help people, not for money. you and a lot stay outside the matrix.😊

[@Sketch_Sesh]

I had body dysmorphia from childhood emotional verbal abandonment/abuse

[@rickturnr]

Pete Walker, in his book' COMPLEX PTSD, makes the claim that all people with childhood PTSD have an eating disorder.

[@aceshigh5157]

that is such a great book. it taught me what healthy stress responses look like.

[@veruc_w]

My thoughts also go to Pete Walker and his first sentence in his book

[@yosh6278]

Yea my dad forced me to eat everything he cooked for me, no leftovers and if i didnt he beat me every time. So then i just stated eating to avoid beatings and then id eat my brothers food to spare him. And my issue is that i worked my way through it once and lost 100lbs, but i lost it wrong because i had to get my gallbladder removed. But now i have a better job, and i cant push myself to eat as little as i did when i was working at home. Idk what to do besides starve myself, the way i lost it doesnt work anymore. In the office i have to work, i can't really stop to lay down or take a walk when i feel food urges come on. I can try meditation again, but meditation made me so different from normal people, it was hard to maintain relationships.

[@GlasUndMetall]

I'm sorry you (and your brother) went through that. I lost and regained 100+ lbs around 3x over my lifetime. Gently I would say to you from this old nana please don't beat yourself up over losses/gains. I did that and it didn't serve me at all. I go through a sort of panic when I lose a certain amount. I've lost over 200 lbs. and kept it off but this time instead of starvation I just cut things out slowly. I started with soda. Went without it for a couple of weeks. Am I good? Yes. Pick the next thing and rinse/repeat. Not saying this would work for anyone else but I read it on Reddit, I think it was, and it helped me, making slow changes. Just sharing in case it might help you or someone else. I see a bike on your avatar, I ride. Cycling is the absolute best.

[@SwimKam]

Love your approach ❤

[@ml9540]

a lot of people are lying because they don't want to believe their own evil. the mirror would break of the evil, they blame victim always and wolf in sheep clothes.

[@ryank6322]

Everyone has the capacity for evil, and the people who won't admit that.... are the most evil.

[@ml9540]

@@ryank6322 i don't think everyone is a demon

[@ryank6322]

@@ml9540 Who did I call a demon? and here I thought I was agreeing with you... ??

[@ml9540]

@@ryank6322 i think about the human body is not our energy at all, it is just a meat prison, so if there is evil, it is from the body and brain energy, not ourselves. the universe is not evil, earth is not evil. only the "prison state". so the entities that prison us are the demons and all evil in it. we are not evil, but sometimes mistakes are made because of them. the universe can not make mistakes and pain does not exist or created by the real universe.

[@sharpsrain8302]

Ngl i didn't know u still made content keep it up mang

[@aceshigh5157]

Can you do a video on the effects/trauma of being an immigrant? There are very few videos on this topic. ex: My childhood ended when we left the USSR. At the age of 6, I was expected to grow up and get serious about life - learn English, learn how to read, assimilate to America, be the family translator, have conversations with strangers obo my parents, do well in school. I had to raise myself. I'm an only child. My parents were focused on learning English and getting American college degrees. My mother dealt with the stress by constantly verbally and emotionally abusing me. Her authoritarian parenting style broke me.

[@carlorizzo827]

Daniel! Thank you! How great. Well, I identify. In the survivor literature is often mentioned a truism that our development is arrested at the age of violation. Oral symptoms might suggest trauma in the 1st year of life "oral phase". Our mothers ahem being prime nurturers, are implicated. I had an abdominal assault that year, older sibling. I recently recognized that having a full belly distracts my gut from remembering. Anal phase? Sure, throwing food, stuffing documents down toilets, infers anal-sadistic phase. Stealing documents, stealing power infers anal-retentive phase lol

[@apolo1111]

I am obese and can confirm this, you feel safer, I realize this when I drop the weight and men would follow me, they would undress me with their eyes, I was so scared to leave my house alone, that I ended up eating everything in my fridge while crying, and in a few weeks I doubled the weight I had initially.

[@runningwiththehorses_]

When I was between the ages of 16 to 19 I struggled real bad with anorexia. Prior to 16 I was actually overweight my entire life. I got to 92kg and was at a point where I struggled to breath getting out of bed. At that point I decided to lose weight and got down to 85kg, and I did feel a lot more healthy, better treatment and it was at this point I got my first boyfriend. He was 20, I was 16 and where I lived it was statutory rape. Our relationship ended when I found out he actually had a girlfriend who was 21. I tried to tell her that he was cheating but she didn’t care (and I think they’re still together to this day). I remember going to counselling after, and I couldn’t understand how what happened was statutory rape, my therapist at the time kept on trying to explain to me how he was a predator and it was so hard for me to understand and accept. But in hindsight it is odd that I lost my virginity while drunk, to a guy who was an adult who definitely manipulated me to have sex with him leading up to it. I was more focused on the fact that his girlfriend was 21, and extremely tall and skinny. So I lost more and more weight- eventually my mom took away the scale so I don’t know what my lowest weight was but looking at photos from back then I got so thin. I relapsed severely quite recently when I suffered a miscarriage about a year ago, I couldn’t keep any food down. I’m 21 now, it’s only very recently that I can see how distorted my standards of beauty were, what I considered thin and fat. I think I still struggle a lot, but I have a much greater awareness about it all which has made a huge difference.

[@smoozerish]

Hi Daniel, what's your thoughts on alcohol and other addictions like vaping? I have found on my own healing journey over many years that by quitting these addictions it allowed me to tap into another deeper level of grieving and with that some dramatic healing. I have not seen a video yet from you that discusses this topic in detail. My belief now is that anyone, like me, who has been suffering from CPTSD from childhood abuse should be strongly encouraged to quit and abstain from any of these types of addictions as soon as possible to gain further relief from anxiety and depression. The grieving process can only bring you so far if alcohol, nicotine and weed are involved. They form a barrier to prevent tapping into the deepest parts of our subconscious for grief work. Would love you to share your thought.

[@SaymaAkterAsha]

Thank you for the video

[@Onyourhyuck__]

I have an undiagnosed bipolar mother. I’m pretty sure she’s bipolar anyways because she has delusions, and her moods vary from 0-100. Im now studying psychology because I wanna understand myself, and yes, I also suffer from undiagnosed eating disorder. I was obese and lost weight, I may have healthy weight now but my eating behaviour hasn’t changed and I’m still avoiding food whenever I get into a fight with my mother. I think relationships with parents is a strong link with eating disorder victims. Parents might be a trigger to it, since they’re your role models. You always want to fit the image they have of you. And you don’t want to disappoint a parent etc. the gender roles and peer pressure can be significant sign to manifest low self esteem which then can lead to disoriented body image and a full blown ED

[@kostas7143]

Hello Daniel! Could you please make a video on Quitting? Generally quitting things out of fear, maybe quitting too soon?

[@SDHT1111]

That is very insightful :)

[@Полина-г9в4ь]

Daniel, what do you think about Bessel van der Kolk 'The Body Keeps the Score' and somatic psychotherapy?

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

This is pretty accurate. We still attract shitty friends and family in adulthood I think

[@JessicaRuiz323]

I came to the realization that I was using my fatness as a way to protect myself as well. You become invisible to a world that puts so much stock on looks as currency. It was liberating, but it is a double edged sword. In certain areas of life being bigger can make people look at you as less than and even lead to disrespect because of this. This is just my experience.

[@HaithamAhmed-u6m]

What about doing martial arts or extreme sports and its connection with childhood trauma? Can you please give us your opinion about that. Thanks 🙏

[@arcadiansounds2850]

I think the biggest disappointment of psychology and psychiatry is its professionals spending so much time studying and learning about the human mind yet somehow coming to the conclusion mental disorders are not related to your experience of life. I always look at movies and shows and when a character has some mental/emotional disorder, the character is always someone who has been wounded in some way. I guess creatives are more connected to their wounds. But it’s pathetic to call yourself a therapist and not have this as the #1 rule of the human mind

[@johnnygilling]

I know you've covered the topic of porn before, but do you think you'd ever make s video exploring why so many people, particularly men, use it? Or why some even feel it is an addiction?

[@TheDavveponken]

I think this relates a lot to addictions in general actually. But isn't there a part of self-loathing involved as well? In denying oneself food? Or in allowing too much? Or throwing it back up? Not allowing oneself healthy fluctuations from an ideal body shape not in harmony of what is healthy for oneself? In a sense not allowing/being able to give that love to oneself in terms of regulation and balanced living.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

I don't think it's self loathing it's self medicating. Mostly binge eater, but had bulimia too. It was basically me feeling so empty and lacking and seeking to fill the space where good parents should be. Purging was a way to control for me. It was like I was living out being neglected and rejected and doing something that itself was an act of rejection. In a weird way it was turning the tables on not getting adequate love. The binging filled up my broken heart. The purging an act of defiance basically rejecting the love I was missing. It brings up some questions. I'm aware of a lot of my past, but I can't recall any molestation, except for some thought patterns suggest that might be possible

[@TheDavveponken]

@@Sarah-with-an-H I never really had issues with an actual eating disorder, but I had a tendency to eat a lot of sweets especially when in distress. I eould run over to the shop and buy a lot just to have in one sitting. So I see where you are coming from - it was self-soothing but also an act of self-hate to me, of not taking care of myself better and just letting go, binging. I can relate it to porn (and love) addiction as well. I would self-soothe with the porn when lonely or otherwise stressed and hate myself for it after, in a cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy, like I was useless after all and so I may as well stuff myself/binge porn. The obverse of this would for me be compulsive exercising/abstinence. It's like I couldn't grant myself these things in moderation and combined with overwhelming emotions I just let go. It's like both things at the same time

[@DING1o1]

Would you find doing a video on cluster B abuse interesting? I recently got out of a 6 year relationship with someone with BPD. I’m traumatized from abuse and the way it ended I’d be curious to see your perspective. Have you ever come across people like this?

[@Anna-f8b]

Dear Daniel, I have been watching your videos for many years, although I have not commented until now because I did not have a KZbin account. I'm sorry I can't watch this video due to age verification. I'm old enough, but I don't agree to send my private data. As a teenager, I suffered from bulimia, depression, and other mental health problems resulting from relational trauma (comorbidities are common). I only understood my struggles when I was around 30-40 years old, when my dissociation broke down and I started searching for knowledge on the Internet - something I hadn't done before due to the defense mechanism of avoidance after trauma, which can last for many years. I came to understand relational trauma, structural dissociation, complex post-traumatic stress disorder related to eating disorders, and more. I have noticed that, especially in the case of eating disorders therapy, trauma is a taboo topic for most therapists, especially in family therapy. Family therapy is more about protecting parents from feeling guilty. This makes me angry! I once talked to a trauma therapist who told me that therapists in training are taught not to show too much empathy for a child (even though it would be right), because the parents may later take revenge on the child and his/her situation in the family will be worse. They can also interrupt the child's therapy and the child will be left completely without help. This is much worse than rescuing a hostage from terrorists ! For me, bulimia was primarily a cycle of violence recreated by an inner critic who hated me and punished me just like my mother who beat, punished and verbally abused me. It is not true that parents harm their children unconsciously, and I also consider it a great injustice to justify them in this way, as many therapists do. Therapists probably need to recover from Stockholm syndrome themselves before they start treating other victims. I was a scapegoat for both parents, and this role is assigned to the child who is not accepted. I wasn't accepted and loved, so I didn't accept myself and my body. I hated myself and I'm still trying to change it, which is difficult. What helps me is writing a journal, compassion for my inner child, and I am learning Richard Schwarz's IFS therapy. Through bulimia, I also controlled the only thing I could control in the midst of family chaos: my body. This aspect of the need for control in an unsafe family environment is also important. For me, food was also associated with the need to soothe unpleasant emotions and the hunger for love, but just like in the relationship with my mother: my inner critic punished me for the need for love. My mother also suffered from compulsive overeating disorder and this also contributed to my bulimia. I felt guilty because she was fat and I felt like a problem in her life. Even though I had been in therapy for over 10 years, the therapist never made me aware of the cause of my suffering, i.e. trauma. Years later, when I became aware, I confronted the therapist and she pathologized me, saying that I blamed my parents and that I should close the issue and leave it in the past. I told her I felt like she was trying to pinch my fingers in the open door. I ended this contact. I consider it a betrayal because the patient has the right to find out the truth, sooner or later - when it is safe. When a therapist blocks understanding the causes of these problems, mainly so as not to blame the parents - this is abuse and betrayal. I have the impression that the main goal of many therapists is to protect parents from the truth that they are harming their children. This does not lead to a change in this sick situation - the widespread traumatization of children in families. Only the truth helps and change begins with naming the problem. Children are not the problem, although they are assigned the role of identified patient. Parents should be treated before they have children. And the right of children to have healthy parents who will not harm them should be more important than the right of every person to create offspring. Your thoughts, Daniel, especially on taboo and controversial topics, resonate very much with my thoughts and observations. I am grateful to you for publishing your videos and articles on the blog, because for me you became the only therapist who helped me understand myself the most, and only then did my real healing process begin. I would also like to thank all the people on this channel for your comments and presence, which is like a therapeutic group for me. Thank you with all my heart - people who value the truth are my real family, my allies.

[@ml9540]

Good❤😊 i join🎉

[@gauloise6442]

It is the parent's who pay the therapist's bill, they dont want to ruin that cash cow.

[@Anna-f8b]

@@ml9540 Thank you. 💓 I'm sorry if I made a lot of mistakes, English is my second language. I've been secretly waiting for this important topic, and when Daniel posted this video today, my need to connect with others was stronger than the toxic shame, so I wrote this first comment.

[@Anna-f8b]

@@gauloise6442 Thank you, it also happens that it's about money and that is also outrageous. However, what angers me the most is that therapists often make excuses for parents. Why don't they do the same in the case of, for example, murderers and rapists? After all, it is the traumas caused by parents that have the most destructive impact on health and life, and it is also because of these traumas that people turn into such beasts that society would like to annihilate without reflecting on how they are created. However, when a criminal goes to therapy, the problem of his childhood traumas, i.e. his situation as a victim, is treated separately and does not serve to justify his actions. He hurt someone and is held responsible for what he did - as, for example, therapist Carine Hutsebaut says. However, we live in a society that allows parents to hurt their children and it is normalized. I watched an interview with a psychologist, who said in a light joke: "It's normal that an average parent causes neurosis in a child." For her, it meant normal parenting. In various interviews and articles, I came across expressions such as: "There are no guilty people - only victims of victims" - it's as if there was no harm when no one was at fault, right? Sounds like gaslighting to me. I am not and will not be a parent, but if I had a child and hurt him/her, I would be a perpetrator towards the child, not a victim. The murderers were also victims, but they became perpetrators. Why does this logic fail when it comes to parents? Another quote: "In the past, parents did not have the knowledge that they have today" - even though knowledge is available today, many people still do not look for it and it is inconvenient for them. They prefer to mindlessly produce children and harm them. So it's not about lack of knowledge. Does the parent know that he is harming the child or does he do it unconsciously? Every parent sees the effects of their actions when a child cries, is sad or angry with him, and an older child can precisely describe in words that the parent's behavior causes him pain. Parents do not hurt children because of lack of knowledge of proper parenting, but because of lack of respect and empathy for children, lack of bond with them. Children are treated as property, an object belonging to their parents. And traumatized parents have the need to rule over their children like dictators, a role reversal that Alice Miller wrote about. Now they can rule and they can take revenge on the child for the traumas of their own childhood. When they hurt a child, they do not apologize or repair the damage, and they do not change their behavior. They feel entitled to dominate the child and treat him however they want. Parenting is often based on this sick dynamic of power and subordination, instead of secure attachment and closeness, the safe dependence of the child on the parents. Every walk near playgrounds where there are parents with children triggers me. Fathers like to be respected alpha males, and mothers like to boss their children around. When I was a child, I never wanted to become such an adult.

[@ml9540]

@@Anna-f8b i think parents, see their children like they see and having a dog. it always have to listen and do everything they say. couse they are selfish. they don't have feelings, they made children out of self convience. they think only about themselves and what they want and expect. they realy don't feel sorry or want to say sorry. the dog always needs to listen and be controlled in their ways. it's only a product to entertain themselves and to show the world "how rich they are" with having kids. they don't love their children, they only love themselves. if you realy love children, you never prison them for 80 years in this hell.

[@micheleheykoop3376]

How do you heal when you know that the root is childhood trauma? Just knowing doesn't heal me.

[@dcbxxx00]

Daniel, I’d like to request a video on the importance of fathers in a family, their roles, and the symptoms of the lack thereof.

[@michelem226]

There is an interesting eating disorder, ARFID, that has a biological origin, but unfortunately parents make it worse and cause trauma to their kids because of it. Children with ARFID physically experience food differently than others. They have sensory anomalies that make certain foods taste or feel absolutely disgusting. But then their parents try to force them to eat these foods, which causes psychological eating disorders.

[@fseesauras]

I'd be interested in working with you to resolve my eating problems, too bad I don't think you do that type of work or with clients anymore

[@stellalegolasnevolous4666]

How to feel safe and in home in my body again? I feel if I lose the weight Ill be unsafe

[@Anna-f8b]

You can use Somatic Experiencing therapy created by Peter A. Levine. This is body work. I also recommend the KZbin channel of Irene Lyon, a trauma therapist, where there is a lot of information and practical tips on how to help yourself after trauma.

[@bmxt939]

Armor thing must be truth. Because most of fta dudes I've met were gentle souls, most of times too gentle for our society.

[@ml9540]

i think i need extra pounds to ! and i working on it ! it's because of the pain indeed the aliens/matrix did to me.😢

[@daviddeveloper44]

This video got flagged by youtube. Please get ahead of this. You did a wonderful job creating a useful channel

[@dmackler58]

What should I do to get it unflagged?

[@L.S.-gm7nq]

@@dmackler58 Hi. I managed to dig out an example from the channel Geography Now when one of their videos got age-restricted and they managed to resolve it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qJ7bfHmVgq2ro68feature=shared Besides that, my best guess would be to get into contact with the KZbin moderation. You could tell them that your video was unlawfully flagged (meaning KZbin went against their own terms of service). I think you can do this by writing an Appeal which is a type of form that you can send to argue for a removal of the flag. Because if you just asked them only why it was flagged, they will most likely respond naming only the reason as to why. I presume that reason is given in their admin panel, I doubt they would bother control-watching the actual video just to give you an answer. It was most likely an algorithm that caused the flag.

[@dmackler58]

@@L.S.-gm7nqThank you David.

[@TheBeolchi]

I’ve had a healthy childhood with support from both my parents. Besides being gay, they have always been supportive and accepting. Still, I do have anorexic tendencies and an ex boyfriend of mine blamed my long term veganism to a strategic restrain of food. Nonetheless, what else would explain the anorexic behavior?

[@Полина-г9в4ь]

დიდი მადლობა! ♥

[@Thesisinxumaloblog]

KZbin unsubscribed me from your channel. Thats so annoying

[@TheSapphireLeo]

Also though not normalized and maybe even amongst spiritual and occult circles, breatharian upends all of this and maybe can only be sustained in stability of maintenance of one's own energy and after decolonization and of all control of these institutes? Breatharianism is also for mental clarity and purity and to get away from more added entropic degridation of microbes? Solarianism is also borrowing energy from the sun, alone and energy ballance of own is the highest, long-term?

[@ABeautifulEarthForOurChildren]

I just ate food for 2-3 meals otherwise I don't feel full

[@tomwheatley3923]

What do people think of dr Gabor mate?

[@northern999]

I listened to a lot of his lectures until I realized that he never gives any useful advice how to get out of trauma, just over and over talks about how screwed up the trauma made you.

[@tomwheatley3923]

@@northern999 yes I completely understand you!

[@hadiza1]

💜💜💜

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

Be careful about this people who like to be thin like to be thin. I do the keto diet you feel better too

[@5EmBem]

My daughter got diagnosed with ARFID after a few months of severe trauma with a family member. She spent a long weekend in hospital because she'd lost so much weight. I didn't know about the trauma taking place at the time because she didn't tell me but I sorted it out to the best of my ability when she did disclose, got her counselling too and it helped so much. I think with kids there is only so much we can go in to being that closely involved, it's difficult for them to be able to speak without us having a personal reaction to it which is why I got her counselling plus the contents of the disclosures added to my already existing CPTSD from the same person

[@henryzhao4622]

Is Tourette’s childhood trauma too? Rhetorical

[@bradrandel1408]

🦋🕊🌹

[@efehansahin2172]

durienrider

[@minnesotajude8447]

Lizzo thinks she is hot and eats more.

[@Moszan]

....uh okay?