Is Your Mind in a Negative Loop? - Escape Rumination | Eckhart Tolle

To free ourselves from compulsive thinking, resentment, anger, and other aspects of victim identity, Eckhart teaches that we must discover the “Deep I,” our identity beyond painful memories. What recurring thoughts or feelings do you struggle with, and what practices help you transcend them?
Subscribe to find greater fulfillment in life:
bit.ly/EckhartYT
Want to watch and hear more of Eckhart's Teachings? Become a member today and join our growing KZbin community! bit.ly/ETmembership
Did you find this short preview video helpful? Do you want more peace of mind? Or to bring more Presence into your days, your work, and other areas of your life? Join Eckhart Tolle Now, Eckhart’s online community, and get access to his new in-depth teachings every month, practical Q&A sessions with Eckhart, and member-only discounts on Eckhart’s online programs.
Enjoy a FREE 10-DAY TRIAL to Eckhart Tolle Now: members.eckharttolle.com/10-d...

[@johngreen4683]

Two brothers who's father was an alcoholic, who beat his wife and children and regularly drank the food and rent money. One brother grew up to be an alcoholic who beat his wife and children while the other brother grew up to be the kindness and most loving husband and father anyone could ever wish to have. When each brothers were asked why they felt they turned out to be the man they were, both brothers gave exactly the same answer "WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO BECOME WITH A, FATHER LIKE I HAD?". Its not so much what happens to us but the effect we allow it to have on us that determines who we are today, and its never to late to let go of the old story that supports our right to be a victim and justifies the unhappiness we feel and pass on to others ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@boogyjuggy]

well said, breathe mf

[@angelamay1316]

Wonderful story of the choice, for 1 brother and reaction for the other, we have after the same human experience to create a different outcome for each brother. Showing us how the observers of both realities learn by contrast of opposites.... duality! How do we hold the tension between the opposites? Angela Qld Oz.

[@ericasuzannedavis]

Thank you for this comment. Very insightful.

[@ohgawd]

You made a statement - "the effect we ALLOW it to have on us" is incorrect. After 60 years of research, people like Dr. Peter Levine, Dr. Gabor Mate, Bessel Van der Kolk, are re-writing the so called "mental health" paradigm and changing it to what they've scientifically proven trauma - a body-based (somatic) disorder where the energy produced when a pre-verbal baby experiences something that shocks them and nobody helps them move the energy through their body and completely release it. The reason someone who flies into a rage does it is because that stuck energy is wanting to be released. it's really a young part of you that didn't get the soothing and co-regulation from your parental figures. That's the cure: giving yourself that compassion and soothing when you go through the trigger. Once the trigger is pulled, you can't put stress hormones back in the bottle. There's no preventing the acting out unless they've been taught through body-based trauma -releasing work how to deliver the cure for the part of you that is throwing a tantrum.

[@cecilia00960]

On a case like that though it is possibile that one of the brother was not strong enough to withstand family problems. And with your approach you end up to blame a victim for "not having a positive attitude". Maybe he simply could not.

[@kani9284]

"Unconscious human beings virtually have no free will". This is profound.

[@YogaWithSalad]

Anyone else have an awakening during this video? Get a glimpse of the victim identity even for a nano second? So powerful. Everytime I listen to him something heals in me or I see something I didn't know existed inside the mind.

[@jcharris6557]

🙏 Me too, thankfully.

[@MargaretMichelle1912]

Yes!

[@gagga77]

I think that because something deeper in us is listening to his words and recognize them as truth ❤

[@annwornell7510]

How incredibly blessed we are to be able to listen to Eckhart Tolle. Lots of us have had a traumatic time growing up. So its such a wonderful blessing to find that we can go beyond feeling a victim. At 80 years old I feel so thankful that I can let go of so many negative thoughts.

[@angelamay1316]

Good for you an I'm only 73 next month yes we do learn to let go of these negative thought Loops as one gets older however it's in my face again since my 41 year old mentally challenged daughter move back home I want to go and is in my face as a housemate and paying rent as a sub lessee... Very jolly challenging and huge growth under duress some days.... other days its easier thank God, when I stop reacting. Age brings wisdom , that's the positive side to it. Good glory you Ann.x

[@dogtail3937]

Could have held on for sometime more

[@limonechella]

😅😂🎉😂🎉❤😮😅

[@elif.4199]

"

[@dianeyoung8068]

"No human can act beyond their conditioning in the absence of awareness. If there is awareness they can transcend their conditioning."

[@JohnPretty1]

Easy to say.

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

@@JohnPretty1 And even easier to Be

[@seetowin]

Such prose and Power of Truth! Let the Light shine Bright for All to See! Love

[@olgakim4848]

@@JohnPretty1 Nobody said it’s easy, but it’s definitely possible. It just takes practice.

[@rosisunny9302]

Yes but we suffer now for that!

[@thegamingrelish9272]

I was struggling with bad rumination for over a year about my ex girlfriend. Every minute, everyday my mind would not stop thinking about my ex. I used to be only able to sleep for 1 hour or sometimes none and would have to work 8+ hours the next day completely exhausted mentally and physically. I did and tried everything from therapy, antidepressants, micro dosing, hypnotherapy, meditation, breath work, ice bath, quitting alcohol, the lot. For me meditation and breath work helped me a lot but also acceptance was a big part and stop telling myself that I'm a victim because at the end of the day it's in the past and the past isn't useful to me. I wouldnt make anyone go through rumination it's like a song repeating over and over again in your mind and it won't turn off

[@dublingirl1691]

I get exactly what you mean! I hope you are doing well now.

[@362adeeburrehman6]

So now you get healed or still stuck in mind pattern

[@thegamingrelish9272]

@@362adeeburrehman6 thankfully I am healed. I no longer suffer with rumination thanks to the internal work I did with myself. When I started to accept life for what it is and understand that I can only change what is possible to change I then finally found mental peace. Realising that I decide if I want to let the exterior world control my emotions and thoughts really helped. It is tough to get out of rumination because your thoughts and emotions become who YOU are. using breathing techniques, meditation, watching spiritual awakening videos on KZbin and therapy allowed me to realise that I am not the thoughts and emotions that happens in my mind.

[@tedwilson1477]

Eckhart Tolle is a life saving angel. I pray that he lives a very long, healthy and peaceful life.

[@gojiberry7201]

That last part hit me hard. My family (parents, brother) is toxic. My mother especially is like the unpredictable volcano. This video helps me see this differently, because she suffered a lot in her childhood, but refused to face her own traumas and acted them out on us. She continued to suffer because both of us kids turned out highly dysfunctional, and my brother eventually committed suicide. So my parents now have to live with the grief of a death of a child. I believe I am the first in my family line (that I know of) who is really trying to change their perspective. Everyone else didn't even consider that because it never occurred to them that this was something they might want to do. I can see that they are totally unconscious, and they (and my brother) had to live with the consequences of their own actions. Videos like this help me see things through a more neutral lens.

[@oneirishpoet]

Wow that's a lot of trauma and family history to deal with, I also come from a very dysfunctional family and my mother was physically and verbally abusive... and of course I acquired those same attributes and behaviors for years. I'm still not as conscious and aware as I would like to be on a daily basis but I'm making progress and I'm fortunate to have a wife who is some kind of angel who has enough patience and love to help me be a better man. I have pretty much written off most of my family except for one sister who understands. It's tough especially when you know friends and coworkers who talk about how much they love their mother or their mother and have a wonderful their childhood was. ET is a very wise and helpful teacher with good practical advice on how to recognize and be present to the pain body

[@fortissimoX]

So sorry to hear about your story. But, since you are on this channel, watching this video, and publicly sharing that story, I believe there is very strong presence emerging in you. Therefore, I believe you are on a very good way to become person you want to be, and I wish you all the best on that path! There will still be hard days, but you can manage them!

[@janetatkinson4440]

Same with me! I can’t believe how similar our stories are! My family was so did functional. They fought really hard . I saw them do things in front of me. I was shaking so hard I was terrified. My whole childhood was completely CAOTIC . There are too many stories to tell. When I was 14 I heard that you could leave home at 16 I vowed to leave home and I did. God Bless each one of you. ❤

[@mr.c2485]

Love the animal….despise the species.

[@mindsigh4]

@@janetatkinson4440 🙏💜🕯️🌱🐾🐾👣🌿🕊️🌎✨

[@willieluncheonette5843]

" Remember one thing: when the negative moments come, just remain watchful; don’t get identified with them. They come, and they come with a great force… and when they are coming with great force it is an indication that soon they will die. Before they die, they come with great force; it is their last effort to catch hold of you. It is just as the night becomes very dark just before it is going to end, just before the dawn is going to happen…. Or just as a dying man becomes very alive in the last moments. For months or years he may have been ill and weak but in the moment of death, for a few moments before, he becomes bright, alert, alive, as if all disease has disappeared. It is the last effort, the last bout of life energy, the last effort to catch hold, mm? That’s what is happening to you. Your negative moods will become deeper and deeper; now you have to be very very alert not to get distracted by them. Let them come - watch. A cloud comes and goes; you are the witness. Don’t repress, and don’t be dragged down by it; don’t be overpowered by it either… and soon it will disappear."

[@HigherPlanes]

That IS the way, but easier said then done.

[@Carolinenatacha]

I do not succeed as I have many many painful thoughts and painful life so not easy to do. I try my best!

[@johngreen4683]

@@HigherPlanes it certainly is easier said than done, HP, but like everything else the more we practise the more natural it becomes. Sometimes just stop heading in the wrong direction and facing the right way is a huge leap forward towards where we want to go 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@theubercaste]

Cloud bursting 💨

[@kramnam4716]

Yeah my flymo used to rev madly just before it ran out of petrol! 😂

[@BecomeConsciousNow]

'They still need to suffer the consequences of their unconsciousness'. The ego part of me needed to hear that :)

[@dailyambientandsoothingmus687]

Some of don’t a conscious that the sad part! I know one personally!!

[@colleenplugoway1995]

True 😢

[@josephsf2452]

you're not suffering from the unconscious thoughts, you created your reality with conscious thoughts

[@dogtail3937]

Ego problems?

[@sumina8653]

I needed to hear this too. Narcissists especially, have no conscience or consciousness but are not as invincible as they like to think.

[@perfectsplit5515]

Oh my gosh, this is a perfect description of myself! Back in 1993 I was denigrated severely by the Air Force officers in ROTC Field Training camp on the evaluations. It ruined my self esteem. Later I was able to see flaws in the system. I then focused on finding fault with the ROTC system as much as possible to invalidate my negative evaluations and repair my self-esteem. I later applied this obsession to everything else, stewing over transgressions and slights that others did to me in the past, in order to feed my sense of grievance. It eventually ran on autopilot, becoming part of my personality. If I spend too much alone time, my brain randomly dredges up some past grievance to stew over. Even while driving to the grocery store. I now believe that my chronic anger creates negative energy in the universe and it causes bad things to happen to me. :( Trying to combat this addiction takes a lot of effort, and feels unnatural.

[@XGmanime]

I hope things work out for you and you realize the worth of trying by slowly seeing the progress and reaping the benefits that you deserve🫶🏻

[@beachgirl445]

Hearing that eckhart tole had a father with anger issues gives me more hope than ever

[@JohnPretty1]

What made you think he had a perfect childhood?

[@janelliot5643]

@@JohnPretty1 what made you think she thought he had a perfect childhood?

[@annettegardiner7270]

Because humans perceive things differently maybe!

[@user-lc1lm7cq8h]

​@@JohnPretty1well look at him. Hes an amazing man. I would have assumed he had a perfect childhood too. Its just reassurance that he's human too.

[@RB-rx6hr]

Bravo to anyone putting in the effort to become more enlightened. Letting go of the “victim role” and not identifying with the ego. “No one can act beyond their level of consciousness .” Knowing this can be very useful in allowing life to be our biggest teacher. Thank you Eckhart …🙏🏽💯

[@JohnPretty1]

More?

[@johngreen4683]

I agree RB, just letting go of and stopping telling the stories of past suffering is enough to break the chain that prevents us from moving on 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@lynoralwine1734]

It’s hard. Try replacing the thought with a gratitude ❤

[@RB-rx6hr]

@@lynoralwine1734 Great suggestion ! 💫

[@RB-rx6hr]

@@johngreen4683 Absolutely ! 💫

[@YogaWithSalad]

I went back and listened for a second time and boom huge healing! Large chunk of pain released. "They had virtually no free will" listen to that over and over until conscious shiws it you as an absolute. Healing through the light of consciousness to you all!

[@maelmitchell7207]

If we deny negativity, we will remain ignorant. If we run away from negativity, we will remain ignorant. If we fight negativity, we will remain ignorant. If we face negativity with a willingness to see it for what it really is, a Teacher, we will move forward into Presence. 🙏💖😊🌈

[@BradleyCooper2698]

I wouldn’t say thinking about the same thing that causes you to go through the same thing is a loop, there are people actually experiencing time dissolving and these people ignore them, i have no doubt e-cigarettes has gone through similar things to get where he is… I once had Alan Watts acknowledge me but that is only through “nowness” it could’ve just been Alan predicting my thought in a way… it’s saddening really…..

[@lanachild7731]

Interesting comment, can you explain the e-cigarette metaphor. I used to smoke but never got addicted to those e-cigarettes.

[@Dumballa]

"No human can act beyond their conditioning, in the absence of awareness."

[@carolinegoncalves5107]

Can we call It instinct or instinct belongs to awareness

[@katerusse6173]

I wrote my bad thoughts, put them in brackets and wrote 'this is what my ego thinks. I am not my ego. Nothing can hurt real me'. I felt a relief but it was for short time. This video is so helpful to me. Thank you, mr Tolle!

[@janelliot5643]

Sounds like a very useful practice. Probably effective on a daily basis

[@1Strawbz1]

This came at perfect timing for me! Undergoing changes after being in very dark phases throughout my day after also losing my job. Alot of stuff going on with family & housing aswell! Its coming all directions 😂 but not adapting a victim mentality, but staying present in optimism & the facts

[@deirdredeirdre490]

Take deep breaths .. Exhale slowly Commune with nature during a long exhilarating walk

[@oneirishpoet]

@@deirdredeirdre490 yes that's exactly what I need, it's winter in the US Midwest and I don't get out in nature much this time of year!

[@andremoita9577]

It shall pass. Until then focus on the good things within you.

[@pronounshismajesty3542]

End it yt boy. BLACK POWER

[@kani9284]

These things tend to come all at once. My experience is that it usually happens to make way for something new and better. Hope your situation has improved now.

[@YogaWithSalad]

None of them came across a conscious person or teaching to help them become conscious enough to not perpetrate or do what they did. We have been blessed enough in this life to come across a teaching to help us become more conscious, they did not.

[@lordwilbyrockinem2952]

Eckhart, always mentions problems I have, it's like he knows me.

[@MargaretMichelle1912]

It's true! It's quite magical eh 😂😂

[@Anastasia-oy2zp]

Growing up my father had quite frequent outbursts of anger too which was very hard for me to experience. I didn’t understand where his strong emotions came from and a lot of it transferred onto me. I’m just so glad that I awakened and was able to overcome all those difficult emotions from childhood. Maybe it was all set up just for me to awaken who knows…

[@ChangeYourLife1122]

its part of the divine plan

[@beekinder6953]

decades of ruminating, resentment, hidden anger..........thank you for the guidance Eckhart.

[@lilystarr226]

I was just on the phone asking my partner how to escape a negative thought loop 🤯 Thank you Universe and Eckhart 🥰🙏🏻

[@albulenakelmendi8968]

Same here ❤

[@EthanRPG]

I was texting mom about my dark night of the soul and complaining about my bitterness and negative thought loops right when this was posted!

[@boogyjuggy]

breathe

[@mr.c2485]

There is no escape. One must simply embrace its reality and then attach the information to the other animals thus allowing for love and forgiveness for all humans without the need to love the species.

[@RiverViews333]

Isn't Universal validation wonderful?

[@bethraflowers5799]

Great explanation. I would add that the first step before this would be to let go of the judgement. Allow yourself to just feel what IS, without labeling it. The frustration is a sign that there is resistance to simply allowing the energy to flow. The thoughts are just tools of awareness letting you know that damage still exists. These thoughts are a beautiful gift showing us the truth of what currently IS. As you allow the energy to flow without judgement, it flows out and diminishes until the root is gone. This is the power of the soul at work. Loving thoughts to all those currently in this process, wish you well in your discoveries.

[@mridulsharma1863]

Amazing ...

[@incognito7479]

Your comment was taken to heart. Judgement is ‘huge’, coming or going. I find staying in the eternal now judgement vanishes. Even writing this I find myself ‘searching’ for the proper terminalogy as to stay where I AM in the present a challenge. The mind can be your best friend but also your worst enemy. I think I’ll stay where I AM, without hudgement. 🙏🏼❤️☮️

[@incognito7479]

I may have misspelled terminology but I’m refraining from ‘judgement’. Thank you.

[@MargaretMichelle1912]

Thanks, Im new to this but you've just helped me understand a bit better about IS ness

[@MrSimonj1970]

A top tip I got from Lisa Cairns - say to yourself "I accept" whenever you catch yourself disagreeing with reality! Very powerful.

[@oscarballard7911]

For the longest time I desired and even sought out the accountability of others, those who harmed and/or mistreated me when I was a child (helpless). I ended up in AA/NA, and recovery in 1987. I've had to unpack and sort out a ton of baggage and conditioning. As difficult as it was/is, I came, am coming to accept, that in most cases those who were most harmful towards me, largely parents, did the best they could, in consideration of where they had come from and had themselves experienced. It seemed like a cop-out to me, but truth is I also, behaved inappropriately a lot when using and abusing substances, self and others. The truth for me is, I'm just as capable of being inhumane as anyone I encountered in my life's journey and once, I was made aware of my parent's upbringings and life experiences, I had to see I'd may have behaved even worse had I carried either of their yokes. Though I continue to feel pain and sorrow, I'm able to direct that towards the suffering my parents endured as their life progressed and ended. It's liberating to have very little attachment to how they behaved towards myself and sibling, and to feel only Love towards them and sorrow that they have long since moved to another plane of existence. I sincerely hope they found peace, love and contentment, and that we will meet again on the other side. "Resentment is the number one offender" of reason's those of us in recovery resume to abuse self and others.

[@RainFall-wz2yp]

I pray that 2023 gets immensely enormously astronomically better (on every level, in every possible, pleasant, healthy way). So far it's mostly just been filled with grief terror pain heartbreak and suicidal depression...

[@mangalsingh2050]

Mr. Now always keeps amazing us.

[@RainFall-wz2yp]

prayer for an open heart, a mended heart, a healed heart, a restored heart, and a mind at peace. for removal of any and all obstacles and blockages that may be in the way of self-love and twin-flame love.

[@YogaWithSalad]

And I'm so grateful. Whatever challenge I'm facing when I listen to him it's revealed what the cause is at a deeper level.

[@uapnewdiscoveryimages]

No one is egoless. Awareness of how the ego can misguide or deceive you has to be there before you can seek to change your mindset. Self will, will always bring negative consequences, even if this is not immediately apparent.

[@Justineyedia]

Do not conform to the patterns of this world but, be transformed by the renewal of your mind

[@lynnmcquillan2338]

Yes .. we still need to suffer the consequences of our unconsciousness in order to grow in consciousness.. the way forward - Thankyou as always Eckhardt 🙏💓🌸

[@ultracalicokittycat]

I love Eckhart, but I kept waiting for him to address the original issue that the person brought up -- about how to exit a negative loop, or "rumination", as it says in the title of this video

[@adammitchell5683]

Eckhart has his CONCEALED CARRY VEST ON 😁👌💪THE GURU IS PACKING HEAT!!!

[@georgesakellaridis5031]

Thank you mr.Tolle for your most wonderful and penetrating insight. How true! I personally have found through the years that the difficult part is that, in order to be free, you must go through fire....your own fire! You have to pay dearly, observe your situation and endure little by little, step by step...so to be able to accept, negate your situation!

[@tangotangoh]

Wish my sons could understand and accept this instead of unknowingly holding on to the past that project the egoic mind strongly.

[@stephen1Oace]

Minus the "word victim" or "victimization" what's left? I never ever felt like "a victim" within the dysfunctional background of family. Understanding *why* they all hate me was key. Being a threat to their substance abused egos, poof! Understanding I have been a *victim" has actually helped me to recover! Using the word victim as if one is "feeling bad for themselves" is ridiculous. Real emotions. Real recovery from *understanding the reality of what's happened to us* and then accepting and the goodness gifted to us as real creators is what and how I moved forward. Again, *understanding and accepting I truly was a victim of circumstances is when I healed on levels beyond my imagination.*

[@adaptivebusinessconsulting8080]

‘No human can act beyond their conditioning in the absence of awareness’ great quote.

[@hollywright3610]

I become as unconscious as the one committing the acts of betrayal then I listen to those who are enlightened and calm returns where negativity filled my ego. Bless you all.

[@elizabethfonseca922]

I'm from Brazil, and it's very interesting that this video came up today. Last Sunday, January 8, very bad things happened in our capital, Brasília. A very large group of former president Bolsonaro supporters invaded and destroyed three buildings, which were home to the Executive, Legislative and Judiciary Powers. This was an extreme example of what you have just described about group ego. In an attempt to prove their side was the right side, these mobsters acted like animals, no awareness present at all. Our nation is facing a dangerous polarization, and the ones who lost the election are acting insanely. I really fear the way things are going.

[@jasguy2715]

Perhaps they are not angry because they lost the election but more accurately, how and why they lost the election /AKA cheating.

[@johngreen4683]

Hi Elizabeth, it is scary how the democratic futures of Brazil and the USA are now in question because of the actions of unconscious conditioned groups of people who have become victims of their conspiracy masters conditioning. I wonder how many more civilised societies who were previously capable of living within a democracy and accepting majority rule will become victims of the minority of right wing extremists who demand power, if not by the ballot box then by force. Where next i wonder? 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@Lightbodied]

If people don’t suffer the consequences of their actions how will they ever become aware/enlightened/awakened or whatever other term people like to use. This made perfect sense and was very powerful. Thanks for sharing

[@johngreen4683]

In a civilised and evolved society do we punish or show compassion and attempt to decondition unconscious conditioned people who commit awful crimes, vengeance is a dish best not served at all, while time out and support in a safe environment where people can helped to overcome and escape their cruel conditioning is surely the way of the human being rather than the egotistical, judgemental and vengeful mind 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@mindsigh4]

@@johngreen4683 yep, vengeance, resentment, getting even (justice!) is such a tempting temptation, especially when the ego chimes in with that checklist of reasons why we are justified in our judgyments & condemnations

[@JohnPretty1]

There is no justice. It is an illusion, as is fairness. Life is what it is - neither fair nor unfair. Sometimes "good" comes our way, sometimes "bad" comes our way. That's just the way it is.

[@JohnPretty1]

@@mindsigh4 There is no such thing as justice. It is an illusion.

[@mindsigh4]

@@JohnPretty1 tho it may *appear* that people get away with things all the time, my sense is that no one gets away with *anything* in the end, like the old saying:(paraphrase) the mill stones of the gods turn slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine. of course i have no way of proving it one way or the other, just something ive always had a feeling about, that karma untouches no one. 🔒🕊️⚖️💜🔑🔓

[@violinbuff3782]

Eckart Tolle is a beautiful soul!

[@yourcalmplace]

- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this comment know. I wish you great success, health, love and happiness! ✨

[@nv8942]

Such healing can come to so many listening to your insightful and soothing words. Thank you Eckhart Tolle

[@suzanneadamson1306]

I was married to a volcanic man who called me names & accused me of things I wouldn't dream of doing. He exploited me on every level. Was he unconscious? Yes. He still didn't have to be abusive & destroy my trust. He should've left if he was unhappy.

[@JohnPretty1]

Were you unconscious?

[@conlawmeateater8792]

@@JohnPretty1 she probably was or else she wouldn't have trusted him.

[@suzanneadamson1306]

@@JohnPretty1 I was under the naive impression that if u treated someone well, they'd reciprocate.

[@johngreen4683]

@@suzanneadamson1306 sorry you suffered Suzanne, but try to forgive, its extremely healthy for you personally 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@Annajee]

Good stuff. I guess I am still struggling to understand though. I have known for some time that “they do not know what they do”, that they are how they are because of their conditioning, etc. part of me can’t blame, but part cannot seem to get over the hurt they have caused and how difficult it has made my life. Why do I have to suffer because of their unconsciousness, etc. the logic of understanding that it’s not their fault and the emotions of being so hurt can’t seem to integrate.

[@francesluke7609]

Thankyou Eckhardt That loop of mine has decades of situations involving sociopaths and bullies. I try to forgive myself for having allowed them into my life.

[@JohnPretty1]

The bully is your ego.

[@francesluke7609]

@@JohnPretty1 You don't know what you are talking about

[@johngreen4683]

@@francesluke7609 hi Frances, try forgiving those who hurt you as this will truly set you free and break the loop. Bearing a grudge is like keeping someone hostage in our mind, and we need to constantly remind ourselves of their terrible crimes in or to justify out continued imprisonment of them, when we release our hostages, its actually ourselves we set free 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@MysticWater11]

This one is heavy 😢😢😢

[@MassiveLib]

Ignore all thought. Not just the ones you like about yourself or dislike about yourself. It's of no use to anyone.

[@bryandraughn9830]

Thank you Eckhart. I feel sorry for the people who felt like they needed to treat me badly. I always wondered why they did because I didn't give them any reason to. Not understanding why was a big part of my frustration but your explanation really helped me to understand. I'm very grateful that I don't have the desire to hurt people. I can't imagine how I would deal with that. Now I can think about them and hope that they find their way.

[@neetaarora7908]

Very interesting - belonging to group also has group ego which needs enemies to sustain and survive! Quite insightful - victim consciousness is also ego. I think all neediness, until we arrive at ' enoughness ' is egoic because it emerges from sense of lack. Isn't it?

[@jayant2747]

When mind is telling all bad. Start thinking something which makes good.

[@FriendofDorothy]

Does anyone else ever get the impression that we teach a lot of impractical and even unnecessary stuff in our schools but never stuff like this that would actually make for healthier mental health? You Tube is doing more to teach people how to live healthier lives than our education system. If all people were taught how to be more conscious and aware and how to deal with childhood trauma and abuse we would ALL reap the rewards. We are now seeing the results of many decades of ignoring the socio-collective benefits of better mental health for all. This material should not be lumped in with spiritual or philosophical content. It is imminently practical! Being more conscious and connecting the dots in our lives as to what negatively affects us should be routinely taught. Otherwise we have the majority of the population living their lives without awareness as to the reasons for their own negative or violent behavior. and that's what is so scary

[@jluke6861]

Thank you for the Great Video.

[@adrianmuldrow3676]

Unconscious Conditioning 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥that’s a tee shirt … the good thing is that in awareness we are blessed and reborn in every second to become aware and conscious 😇🧡🌹

[@jeayupila2841]

I've learned of Eckhart through Damien Echols. Both are great examples of what the human mind is capable of. Thanks for this!

[@ahmadkibwana-jaff5232]

For me, what has worked is showing compassion for the other person, and realizing that the hurt they inflicted on you is the hurt they are carrying around in their lives. Ekhart brilliantly summarized that when he said ‘one cannot act beyond his consciousness’. Also, try to reframe as often as possible with gratitude. Think about the things you’re grateful for in the situation. Perhaps the experience has shed some light in your own shadow. Be grateful for the role that this person played in your life as well. 🙏🏾

[@MichaelaOkpalugo]

Wonderful food for thought 💚

[@davidgeorgecross815]

I've been listening for years, this is one of your best ever. Very wise. Thank you 😊

[@TheMediumChannel]

Oh such wisdom! thank you Eckhart! I often speak on the "collective ego" myself as it is a real thing and we are connected but it's the personal ego that aligns to the collective... like I do healings and have had a bit of shamanic training so I know how to clear people's negative entities, spirit attachments and such but what are "entities"? Part of consciousness right? and the "negative" ones draw their power from the collective ego where fear, anger and all that darker emotional stuff exists so I can do a healing on someone but if they don't follow up with their personal work to cultivate greater presence and to clear aspects of their pain-bodies or suppressed emotions, energy etc. they will only re-magnetize the same or similar entities eventually...CHANGE HAS TO START FROM WITHIN..

[@janetatkinson4440]

I am learning so much more about how our lives are being experienced in a more awakened way recently. This is a very powerful post

[@JohnPretty1]

more?

[@janetatkinson4440]

More every Im experiencing new ways of being more awakened because of the amazing meditations Im listening to every day. Ive gone through a big shift in my human journey.

[@johngreen4683]

@@janetatkinson4440 good for you Janet 🙏

[@avikchatterjee1945]

First have to cut off from the collective ego. Then trash 🗑️ the victim identity. It's really a prison.

[@brucewayne1943]

One of the most eye-opening videos I’ve ever watched. Thank you!

[@TenaRoberto]

By far this is my biggest struggle. My mind replays over and over, and it is NEVER the truth. I fantasize about horrific things. I do have substantial trauma, some that I created myself some that I did not. Mine has been going on for decades. I have hope since I'm dedicated to meditation daily for years but I'm not overcoming this. How do I get rid of collective ego? It is dangerous to me for sure. Addictions, terrible decisions, or unsafe/unhealthy living and it no longer fits or serves. HELP

[@Creative_soil]

Try cold plunging, cold water swimming, and or cold showers. There is no ego in the Cold. Just remember to breathe, Short inhale, long exhale. I hope this helps.

[@cindyvernon1448]

First thing to end suffering, don’t identify with anything. 🙏🌸🙏

[@sandrawright8109]

What exactly does that mean ....how do you not identify but have relationships?

[@Xektt]

It means you're not your thoughts. Therefore, you are not who you think you are. The real You is the awereness, the presence, the observer. From the real you, be the love, light, joy you want to see in relationships & everything else.

[@lisab9706]

omg I felt like I was writing that letter to Eckhart

[@giselar.12]

Thank you very much, for this teaching. I’ve learned a lot from you.🌸🙏

[@jgomez7535]

Amazing, Simular story. Thank you for the enlightment and helping with self awareness.

[@hope4now]

Needed to hear this. Perfect timing. ❤

[@melbadee8301]

Endlessly grateful ❤️🙏

[@shilarod1499]

Thank you ,Eckhart 🙏I would love to watch the remaining of the this seminar .

[@janelliot5643]

It's a shame there are so many negative comments to one another from people trying to be Tolle, with their own "stories." I have never seen this on an ET video

[@lindseytaylor4460]

Thank you, Eckhart. This video found me right when I was needing it!

[@mikemichaud5048]

this was perfect timing.....! Thank you👃

[@justinsugay1149]

Watching this right now and after having had a big fight with my mom who abused me as a child I can't tell you How relieved I feel To actually be able to feel like I can actually start to forgive. I'm usually not patient and listening to the whole thing of things like this because it triggers the heck out of me. I'm but from beginning to end and right towards the end I just wanted to hear more because I felt myself understanding now unconscious I've been for most of my life and it's what true but I am now beginning to awaken and become aware of how unconscious I've been living. Thank you Eckhart

[@_arman_]

Good work, Justin...

[@justinsugay1149]

@@_arman_ Thank you Arman

[@jensee3317]

This was really powerfully. I feel like I kind of have the opposite problem. I’ve forgiven the person who hurt me but it’s been really hard to watch them suffer the consequences of their behavior towards me and it dampers my spirits. But I guess I need to feel gratitude that they have the opportunity to raise their consciousness from gaining self awareness of how their actions led to them suffering these consequences. Especially since their abuse behavior stems from an entitlement that they felt due to a victim mindset.

[@debe3838]

A helpful reminder just now, thank you. & a big heartfelt thank you to the querent for having the courage to ask.

[@finnfemme870]

Thank you for this, Eckhart! You always come through at the exact right time. 💖

[@dogtail3937]

His is not on time. You were

[@TheLUCIANA63]

Gratitude

[@lisa12345ism]

Thank you Eckhart 😊

[@misino8927]

Thank you, for your wisdom words .Greetings from Slovakia .

[@pinkbug8u]

Paul hedderman said it best. I'm not responsible but I'm accountable. Like if your dog poops on the neighbour's yard, you didn't do it, but you still have to clean it up and make amends. Same if you're taken over with "self"

[@gabriellarujsz5741]

Thank you so much ❤ perfect time reached me ❤

[@CTSCAPER]

Thank you, Eckhart. This is the answer to so many questions.

[@WhatsItLikeToBeEnlightened]

Thanks, Eckhart.

[@jjjjjjjjkigghh8662]

Thank you Eckhart

[@TerraAventurineStudios]

I think it's important to stay grounded too, and freely express yourself. Something I noticed in the different sexes is that men tend to chastise women for showing ANY type of emotion as a way to control them and the situation. Anger is okay, showing emotion is okay, but not directed at someone personally. Sometimes being bitter, angry, and having a "victim" mentally is a apart of the healing process of being a human. A real human being on earth. Some people are victims, and they DESERVE to be angry, to yell into the sky, or kick the dirt or a rock. You don't really HAVE to be a passive human. It's good to participate in life and not just be passive.

[@whatistruth_1]

That seems like cyclical thinking to me

[@WinstonSaga]

The thought becomes a loop or spiral and becomes obsession and becomes part of you. Two ways to remove negative thoughts. A person who has negative thoughts all the time cant be spiritual. First clear your mind by doing Zen meditation. Sit in a place for 30 to 60 minutes and listen to the sound of the clock or fan. Every time thought pops up do Conscious derp breathing. Your attention should be on your breath. Slowly you thought subsidies or calms down. By learning to sit in one place for 60 minutes with out moving is a beautiful achievement. Secondly focus your attention on the sound of clock is a great achievement. Thirdly when thoughts pop up anchoring with Conscious Breathing is a Master achievement. If you are able to do then in couple of days the thoughts will fade away. Always keep your mind clean by seeing God or Creation. An empty mind without superfluous thoughts because negative thoughts causes inflammation and chemical imbalance in the brain. There is consequences. So keep your brain clear of all negativity.

[@EJ-uv9mb]

I'm trying so so hard to stop feeling like a victim and stop feeling so angry all of the time and to forgive my mum as she's on her own now after my step dad died- so she needs me now. I not long found out that when I was a child she knew dad my step dad was sexually abusing me. I asked to choose between us when I turned 16 after a particular horrible time and she chose him so i ran away and my life has always been hard. How do i move past this and stop snapping at my mum and being so angry?

[@thegoldensandal]

I’d say a good step is acknowledging whatever you feel, without restrictions. I.e. without ‘I shouldn’t have done this, I shouldn’t have don’t that, they shouldn’t have… etc’ That’s the ‘personal self’ he is referring to, that negative loop story that goes nowhere. What happened happened, what is is. Just breathe and accept what your inner realm is feeling. When you say the words in your head ‘she needs me’ what are you feeling inwardly. Breathe into that, without judgement. As an aside and in congruence to the paragraph above, psychological dependence: ‘I need that person, or that person needs me’ is it a limiting action? Humans do need each other externally to survive, but inwardly are we all complete?

[@nalinimanikkam1613]

Have you vented your anger towards your mum for her choices?

[@k-cdavis4023]

I was ready to hear this. If I had heard this a few months ago, I wouldn't have gotten it. I started thinking about how my self-absorbing thoughts were an ego issue. Your further comments make the concept solid. (Thank you, Eckhart)

[@ginah9128]

Thank you teacher.

[@user-pg7em7pu7t]

Thank you for this, Eckhart! 😘

[@kinbolluck476]

Ikr jeez

[@aurorahealings]

That’s a valuable insight, I’ve had a lot of difficulties with abusive family and partners. I used to be unconscious to how I would go into victim mode and start defending myself until I realised I needed to accept my vulnerability just as it was when things seemingly didn’t go my way instead of acting like the perpetrators would. Something about not engaging in the same energy when the thoughts or memories appear, I am still working on how to separate this, act from my wiser self and not absorb it. Possibly a lot of people who went through difficult childhood and abuse have this issue as forgiving and understanding doesn’t always stop the abuser from thinking about what they did in some way and then the cycle repeats, as we can pick up on those thoughts as one consciousness.

[@bethgerz7757]

AHA! The relation of free will to consciousness, so simple so true.

[@desmondehoppie4758]

Very Enlightening and Informative. Thank You for taking the time to make this video.

[@JohnPretty1]

I don't believe in punishment. However, it may be that sometimes some people should be kept away from others.

[@armcydonia]

Eckhart thanks for this video. A question arises in my mind now when you talk about the other as enemy. Let's take the current situation in Iran as an example. When the government is killing innocent people to preserve itself, how can one allow this to happen? There are a lot of teenagers who are dying now in the streets. I can understand that the change should happen on the individual level by which I mean totally getting free from anger, violence and all identifications inwardly so their source of action would not be on the same cycle; but the fact of facing this violence is there and I think collectively reaching to this point is an utopia. Unless people revolt against it this cruelty and violence will go on forever and ever. The fact of 'the other' exists in this situation, doesn't it? how can one feel oneness with those dictators on top and all the brutality that they bring to innocent generations? I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter. Thank you 🙏

[@Nknz007]

Use your mind, Don't let your mind use you.

[@tinathegreat88]

Not sure how this relates to suspending ruminating patterns and negative loops in the mind