ED recovery and exercise is making me confused

SORRY FOR LOOKING LIKE A MESS
Btw in the video where I mentioned suicidal thoughts, in the very beginning, I'd like to add that I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore! So yeah! Important thing to add!
Anyway, if anyone can relate on this and has any advice, please let me know.
(This is my second channel, where I upload livestreams from YouNow and random chats about what's on my mind.)
My main channel:
/ @kovukingsrod
Always keep going :)
- Kovu