EFAP

[@matthewcollins4773]

"I don't know how long he played. But amidst the endless screams and inane babble, they discerned two words: EFAP! Longman!" "EFAP? Longman? But that would lead them..."

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

“Home...” * runs off * “Now wait, Luke! It's too dangerous!”

[@NoPantsBaby]

and then the fire nation attacked.

[@HectorLopez0217]

“You’re gonna be my magic teacher?” “No. I’m gonna be your Sensei.”

[@samwallaceart288]

Hagrid: *"You are fucked, Harry!"*

[@ScooterDoge]

Here!

[@EvGamerBETA]

The Lord of Ring: Fellowship of Ring The Lord of Ring: Two Towels The Lord of Ring: Return of Thing

[@colinwalker4824]

This deserves more engagement

[@Zoddlander]

You forgot The Lord of Ring: The Harfoot: An Expected Disaster

[@ackyfacky4332]

Why does this not have more likes? Return of Thing fucking got me.

[@-Ryu]

The Lord of Ring: Ring of Pow

[@Crocadillius1123]

The double spaces really sells it

[@randomft]

Thank you guys for suffering through this disasterpiece for our entertainment. I can't bring myself to experience it first hand.

[@Gandalf-The-Gay]

There is no shame in that. Many didn't survive Lord of Ring: Gollum...

[@blackdragoncyrus]

"Mauler told me to." "I'm not friends with Mauler anymore."

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

is this a Super Best Friends reference?

[@grandarkfang_1482]

​@@RipOffProductionsLLC "Az and Mauler are no longer friends."

[@blackdragoncyrus]

@@RipOffProductionsLLC 1:29:52

[@TheClem9779]

Let us all thank Wolf for taking the time to wreck his brain for us once more.

[@camillecunningham7348]

Did wolf edit this?

[@TheClem9779]

@@camillecunningham7348 yes he did 😊 Mauler said so at some time at the beginning of the video

[@camillecunningham7348]

@@TheClem9779 Got it

[@SassyCassie89]

Wolf was and is an absolute legend, I hope he's doing well.

[@RhysCallinan-cg5ww]

Everywhere I go, I see his face.

[@animerican]

Kudos to AZ for correctly saying that the apology was generated by AI as the Daedelic devs admitted they used ChatGPT to generate the apology letter

[@Kernwadi]

I want to see Gollum have a debate with Hasan Piker and win every argument.

[@Kernwadi]

He'd explain why it's wrong to steal content based on Bilbo stealing the Ring.

[@justsomelizardwithatophat.367]

@@Kernwadi but Sméagol would give counter arguments against him which hasan mindlessly steals and still loses somehow.

[@Kernwadi]

@@justsomelizardwithatophat.367 Sounds Hasan enough to me.

[@ciege7486]

This is an AI edit that needs to happen

[@scottski02]

"What is we's supposed to do? Die, Precious?" -Gollsan Smeaker

[@robbiebalfen4099]

The Lord of Ring: Gollum effects us all in different ways Mauler became maniacally evil, Az has severe rage issues, Metal has prolonged depression, and JLongBone has a clear conscience with a delayed framerate.

[@Crocadillius1123]

She moves at 20fps irl now

[@uneterostardust8233]

you made choke on my tea xD​@@Crocadillius1123

[@stingerredshock3418]

Can’t believe Longbong said “It’s time to fap Gollum” and traumatized all of his friends for life.

[@Kernwadi]

It's time to make Gollum as limp as a boned fish...

[@SuperMegaGaelourde]

His? Damn we gettin real progressive here

[@EmptyAltruism]

I mean, 20 bucks is 20 bucks…

[@stingerredshock3418]

@@SuperMegaGaelourde I assume it was your attempt at a joke. You failed. Now go play The Last of Us Part II until you 100% it as punishment.

[@SuperMegaGaelourde]

@@stingerredshock3418 Humor is subjective lol get rekt

[@MrMuxix]

Wolf is killing it with these edits! This was nothing but catharthis.

[@SolarDragon007]

I guess it's cool he's still involved with EFAP, even if it is behind the scenes.

[@archstanton9073]

I wish he would come back. His voice and demeanor are exactly like a friend I had a long time ago.

[@TomH2681]

Oh I was wondering why everyone was praising Wolf all of a sudden. Good for him. Wolf, if you read this, we love you my guy.

[@HectorLopez0217]

Mauler got Wolf to do a hit piece on him torturing others by playing Gollum

[@hoonterofhoonters6588]

@@HectorLopez0217 Is it a hit piece if it's completely true?

[@1SpicyMeataball]

Gollum was so bad it needed a support group. Years from now Grandparents will be telling their grandchildren about their time in the Gollum trenches.

[@scottski02]

Boomer generation: *Vietnam flashbacks* Current generation: *Lord of Ring: Gollum flashbacks*

[@SuperMegaGaelourde]

Timmy: Grandpa, do you remember Afghanistan? Grandpa: I do Timmy, I do. I'm not proud, but there wasn't much to do for entertainment. I remember sweating in that lodge all day, keeping my eyes peeled for birds. We just thought it was a joke, that we'd do it ironically, but yes grandson... I played Gollum, and now I have to live with that..... And I also got 248 confirmed kills, WHOOOOOO!

[@samwallaceart288]

I misread that as "trenchies"

[@fantasywind3923]

@@scottski02 I guess this is the typical trauma of Tolkien fans when they see how mishandled his property is and how the franchise with enormous potential is so wasted :). I mean, what fans could really want....maybe a proper open world single player RPG, a GOOD lotr game that will be lore faithful and still enjoyable :)....seriously it requires the approach that the CD Projekt had for the Witcher franchise!!! They showed how it's done, they respected the witcher books, and had passion for source material and did amazing job....THIS is what is needed for Lotr franchise...which seems to have poor luck when it comes video games :). Hell give me even a....sandbox in style of Red Dead Redemption 2 in Middle-earth setting haha it would work amazingly well! :)

[@Strydercj2001]

The golem world war

[@Longshanks1690]

Guys, I don’t think Lord of Ring: Golem is going to be making GOTY after all. 😢

[@Miyuki2319]

Only in our hearts.

[@RM_VFX]

I wish it was Golem. A clay/stone creature smashing through Middle Earth might actually be cool. But we gots Gollum.

[@darienwest4748]

Its over Gollumbros...

[@fantasywind3923]

@@RM_VFX in Middle-earth setting it should be lore appropriately a Watch-stone, like this one: [The Drúedain] made also images of themselves and placed them at the entrances to tracks or at turnings of woodland paths. These they called "watch-stones;" of which the most notable were set near the Crossings of Teiglin, each representing a Drúadan, larger than the life, squatting heavily upon a dead Orc. These figures served not merely as insults to their enemies; for the Orcs feared them and believed them to be filled with the malice of the Oghor-hai (for so they named the Drúedain), and able to hold communication with them. Therefore they seldom dared to touch them, or to try to destroy them, and unless in great numbers would turn back at a "watch-stone" and go no further. Unfinished Tales, Part 4, Ch 1, The Drúedain [The Púkel-men of Dunharrow are an example of watch-stones that survived to the Third Age.] The service of the Drúedain as guards was much esteemed by the Folk of Haleth in times of peril; and if such guards were not to be had they would have figures carved in their likeness to set near their houses, believing that, (being made by the Drúedain themselves for the purpose) they would hold some of the menace of the living men. Unfinished Tales, Part 4, Ch 1, The Drúedain ... "Aghan [a Drúadan] said: "I will do what I can [to protect you while I'm away]. I have had a watch-stone brought here and set near your house." Barach went out with Aghan and looked at the watch-stone. It was large and heavy and sat under some bushes not far from his doors. Aghan laid his hand upon it, and after a silence said: "See, I have left with it some of my powers. May it keep you from harm!" ... on the third night Barach heard the shrill warning call of the Drûgs - or dreamed that he heard it, for it roused no one else. ... he saw two Orcs setting fuel against his house and preparing to kindle it. ... just as the flames leapt up, he saw a Drûg come running up behind the Orcs. One he felled with a blow of his fist, and the other fled; then he plunged barefoot into the fire, scattering the burning fuel and stamping on the Orc-flames that ran along the ground. ... [Barach] ... found that the watch-stone had gone.... "Tonight I must be the watchman," he thought; but later in the day Aghan came back, and was welcomed with joy. He was wearing high buskins ... and he was weary. ... he said: ... "How have you fared?" "We are still alive," said Barach. "But come with me, and I will show you and tell you more." Then he ... told him of the attack in the night. "The watch-stone has gone - Orc-work, I guess. What have you to say to that?" ... Aghan ... went hither and thither scanning the ground.... At length Aghan led [Barach] to a thicket at the edge of the clearing in which the house stood. There the watch-stone was, sitting on a dead Orc; but its legs were all blackened and cracked, and one of its feet had split off and lay loose at its side. ... Then [Aghan] sat down and unlaced his buskins, and Barach saw that under them there were bandages on his legs. ... "... last night I slept. I woke before morning came, and I was in pain, and found my legs blistered. Then I guessed what had happened. Alas! If some power passes from you to a thing that you have made, then you must take a share in its hurts." Unfinished Tales, Part 4, Ch 1, The Drúedain: The Faithful Stone So....there you have it a Druedain watch-stone 'golem' coming alive as a sentry in Middle-earth :).

[@coltonpatterson5409]

Forspoken already reserved their rightful spot

[@JustAnArrogantAlien]

Petition to have the universe of “Gollum” and “Rings of Power” officially renamed to _The Lord of Ring_ universe. Makes it easier to divorce all this slop from the REAL Middle-Earth.

[@patrickbliss9264]

Timestamps before Julian arrives. 0:00 The Early Early EFAP. 1:46 Dishonored Wolf's Compilation. 3:14 Some History 17:50 The Painful Yet Funny Trip Down Memory Lane Begins 25:11 Dumb Pronunciations Of Words 27:49 Back To Pain 30:14 Longman Bad 32:09 More Of T.L.O.R.G's "Graphics, Customization and D.L.Cs" 37:11 New Game 43:00 Sméagol 46:55 Every Frame An Ass, Fonts And Grammar 48:43 Deaths 1 And 2 (Only Count When Shown How They Died) 50:13 The Controls And The 3rd Death 52:23 Boing, Deaths 4 And 5 Plus, Mootal Suffers 53:32 Copyrighted Music 56:09 Wall Climbing 57:37 Stealth Mechanics At Home 1:01:46 Death N.6 1:06:50 That's What I Call An Inner Conflict 1:11:45 Questioning Wolf's Care For Copyright Again 1:14:00 Gandalf And Gollum's Crucifixion 1:16:00 Funny And Death N.7 1:18:31 Death N.8, 9, Metal In Agnoy And Death N.10 1:20:30 The Bridge 1:25:18 Death N.11, 12 And 13 1:26:26 N.P.Cs And Death N.14 1:29:06 Mother And Son 1:30:02 The Bridge, The Kraken, Boing N.2 And Death N.15 To 17 1:33:30 Death N.18 And More Broken Physics 1:36:15 JLongbone Quits, Deaths N.19 To 22, More Stealth And Gameplay Loop 1:42:15 Death N.23 To 28, Controls N.2 And Mandalorian Like Physics 1:50:00 Death N.29 1:51:10 Moonwalking, Gymnastics And The Meme Image 1:52:39 Same Voice Actors Again And Death N.30 1:54:19 Breeding Halls 2:00:31 Death N.31 And S.O.M Gollum VS T.L.O.R.G Gollum 2:03:10 Death N.32, Mootal's Endless Torture And Death N.33 2:07:23 Az Hating His Life Decisions And Death N.34 + 35 2:09:20 Wolf Didn't Add This In 2:10:38 The Thumbnail Explained And Other Bullshit 2:15:05 Death N.36 To 42 2:18:40 Az In Pain, Death N.43 And That's What I Call An Inner Conflict N.2 2:21:20 Death N.44 To 49 2:25:10 A Compilation Of Deaths In This Section And The Meaning Of The Lord Of Ring Gollum 2:28:30 Death N.50 To 62 2:30:50 There And Back Again/Death N.63/End Of That Compilation 2:31:50 Returning To Wolf's Video And Death N.64 To 70 2:33:27 Az Calls MauLer And Death N.71 To 72 2:39:30 A Cutscene, That's What I Call An Inner Conflict N.3 And Death N.73 To 77 2:47:00 Az And Mootal Want To Die. They Get Their Wish But It Wasn't As They Hoped. Death N.78 And 79 2:53:15 MauLer Tries To Explain How The Game Works And Death N.80 To 84 3:03:35 The Vanished Building And Chimes 3:05:14 Death N.85 To 86 And Az Returns To Misery 3:10:50 That's What I Call An Inner Conflict N.4 And Sleep Preferences 3:14:30 Death N.87 To 90 And The Not Beautiful Elves 3:18:58 Death N.91 + Metal And Az Want To Die Again 3:22:55 Death N.92 And 93 3:23:30 The Most Retarded Section 3:28:08 Moving Platforms And Death N.94 To 96 3:33:08 Wolf Is Racist, Levels And Death N.97 3:35:50 That's What I Call An Inner Conflict N.5 And 6 3:44:00 Death N.98 3:45:19 Sméagol And His "Girlfriend" To Kill Or Not Kill 3:50:02 Epilogue And Ending 3:57:40 Final Thoughts And Better Lord Of The Rings Games 4:04:55 Saluting The Guests 4:09:50 The Hosts 4:11:10 Goodbye

[@Ceyx000]

O.o

[@mojomitts]

10:17 Mauler mentions the Cursed Thumbnail

[@BanditoBurrito]

Based

[@Rick_Harper]

1:02:25 Anything but that.

[@buckwheatjackson1761]

1:47:47 - Oh no! Poorly animated lava!

[@Martijn_Steinpatz]

AZ losing his mind is one of the funniest thing I've seen all week

[@archstanton9073]

Nah, his voice is irritating when he's not screaming. It's even more so when he is.

[@canaldecasta]

@@archstanton9073 it s called british accent

[@SideBurns]

AZ may have lost his mind but Gollum won the argument.

[@nananamamana3591]

@@canaldecasta That doesn't make it *not* annoying. That just means he has bad teeth and worse taste.

[@kelp7060]

@@nananamamana3591 What you find annoying some of us find hilarious. It happens to me all the time when others find something funny.

[@crimsonpotemkin]

Wolf is a god of editing. That fucking GollumCore segment sent my sides into orbit.

[@mysite1012]

Good to hear Wolf is doing well. His edits are the best. I hope he makes a return and rejoins the cast. His roasts are legendary.

[@arkoa0000]

In the spirit of the topic, it would be the return of the king

[@mysite1012]

@@Dolavin Indeed it would.

[@mysite1012]

@@arkoa0000 I'm kicking myself cause I didn't think of that. 👍👍. Indeed, it would be the return of the king.

[@nathanjora7627]

@@arkoa0000More like return of king

[@jovanhernandez9032]

The Return of the Kings

[@The_Laughing_Cavalier]

"There and Black Again, a Lord of Ring Tale by Smeagol Bagginsses" "Gollums have been strangling across Middle Earth for many hundreds of years, quite content to ignore and be ignored by the world of the Big Folk. Middle Earth being, after all, full of strange creatures beyond count. Gollums must seem of little importance, being neither renowned as greatly rendered, nor considered amongst the very wise. "In fact, it has been remarked by some that Gollums only real passion is for platforming. A rather unfair observation as we have also developed a keen interest in hiding in grass and changing ourselves to black with glowing yellow eyes. But where our hearts truly lie is in pain, misery, and failing to grip onto walls since the world decides to hates us. For all Gollums share a love of all things that can give you a brain haemorrhage. And yes, no doubt to others, our ways seem quaint but today of all days, it is brought home to me it is no bad thing to celebrate LOCK BALLS."

[@Longshanks1690]

So Sméagol did a Rey and just took the Baggins name even though he has no right to do so? 😂

[@scottski02]

@@Longshanks1690 "That's *not* how the Rings of Power work!" --JRR Tolkien, (allegedly)

[@colinwalker4824]

This episode is truly the only thing that brings me joy in life. A top ten episode of all the times forever.

[@chaseryans4808]

The best way I’ve heard someone describe this game was, “Above all other problems Gollum has, it commits the cardinal sin of being boring.”

[@didinx8417]

One of the very best EFAPs ever. I was crying laughing at it on Tuesday afternoon.

[@AKABattousai]

Every time I heard the snapping legs, It was all I could do to not bust out laughing at work.

[@RhysCallinan-cg5ww]

Yeah I was so happy they got it out, I missed a lot of the first couple hours, and had to go to bed, because I live in Fringyland, as I had work. Still have to finish Part 3 of Longmans playthrough.

[@PvtIndi]

I'm not sure if any of you pointed it out in your playthroughs, but Smeagol doesn't remember his name until Frodo tells him in The Two Towers. So Smeagol shouldn't be saying his name, especially with how close it is to the movies. Good job devs.

[@nananamamana3591]

It's nice to see the Rings of Power lorestorians get more work :v)

[@TheNoonish]

I mean, that’s Peter Jackson’s lore. In the books, Sméagol doesn’t exactly forget his name (he just isn’t used to being called by it). The reason Gandalf knows his name in the books is because Gollum told it to him when Gandalf interrogated him.

[@PvtIndi]

@@TheNoonish Oh yeah. I haven't read the books in a long time. Thanks for this 👍

[@deyedrah]

Not to mention the WOOD ELVES in MIRKWOOD are living in CAVES

[@leonhartdragomir8948]

Only EFAP would have the strength and will to lock balls, seduce Smeagol and breed Gollum

[@AstralDragoon]

Shockingly, the elf's reaction to Gollum saying the night was starless is actually lore-accurate. At the time of their creation, the Elves first awakened beneath the stars; as such, of all the Valar, they revered Yavanna, the Lady of the Stars, the most. Despite being blind, this character would have been taught about Yavanna, and would regard absent starlight as a sign of being in an evil and dangerous place.

[@deyedrah]

Varda is the Valar you’re thinking of!

[@AstralDragoon]

@@deyedrah You're right; looks like I got mixed up. I was just so surprised that anything in this game turned out to be clever or interesting.

[@deyedrah]

@@AstralDragoon I can’t imagine they put even that much thought into it. The writing of the game as a whole sounds like no one on the team ever read the books at all

[@Leon-169]

Those edits from Wolf were incredibly funny, and it’s nice to know that he’s doing alright. I’ve missed him, his banter, and his content, so seeing something from him after all these years is nice. That said, I’m also kinda glad that Wolf wasn’t present for Rings of Power or Lord of Ring: Gollum. As much fun as it would be to hear his thoughts on these… “””adaptations””” of Tolkien’s work (even using the loosest definition of that word it feels wrong), for the sake of his mental health, I’m glad he didn’t suffer through this madness.

[@CruelestChris]

He'd run out of clips from Alpha and Omega sequels to express himself with.

[@dodojesus4529]

Wolf biden, his brain broke and never recovered

[@Valehass]

This game should have a permadeath difficulty where if you die, the game uninstalls itself and emails the developers with the sentence "I'm dead and soon you'll be joining me!"

[@charlesruteal9062]

Best part of the stream is when chat got unbelievably hyped for Lock Balls, only for Mauler to paint those balls blue by leaving that section out of the edit.

[@samwallaceart288]

Wolf kept all the locked balls for himself

[@totallynuts7595]

I think Rags made the edit

[@samwallaceart288]

@@totallynuts7595 They were talking about Wolf doing the edit but it looks like they had it posted via Rags' channel since the guy's offline.

[@PriyaPans]

​@@samwallaceart288can you share the video title please, I can't find it?

[@samwallaceart288]

@@PriyaPans alas I don't have it. I think it's a private video hosted on Rags channel for streaming purposes; don't know if it's accessible for the general public or the link :/

[@Kernwadi]

Gandalf once said "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." and you decided to spend it playing Lord of Ring: Gollum... Words can't describe my disgust.

[@EmptyAltruism]

“Swiggity swooty, I’m cumin for that booty” -bilbonious baginsis, probably

[@RhysCallinan-cg5ww]

"Fool of a Longman! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your pestering" Or perhaps "A day of broken animations and shattered brains as the race of Efapers comes crashing down. But not today. Today we review. Review, Efapers of the Cosmic Chicken!" Yeah I think I went a little overboard there, sorry.

[@vetrais7965]

I love that Rag's's caught something that was overlooked at 3:03:45. The elf was there, then he literally fell through the world walking into the area of the disappeared building.

[@whosweptmymines3956]

That was so funny. I was sad no one else saw it.

[@arc5015]

The arrows missing and Az still dying is just exceptional timing. This whole stream and the edit is a total treat, best thing to come out of this absolute doodoo game lmao.

[@NoPantsBaby]

The funniest part of this is that each person's respective audience all went "Did Mauler make you play this?" Cause everyone knows that when the extended reviewer sphere is playing some garbage game or watching some kind of movie there are two choices. It's either Gary or Mauler.

[@nananamamana3591]

Or Sseth.

[@akumasstorytime3910]

​@@nananamamana3591the scaleless?

[@RogueFox2185]

Gary’s gonna need therapy himself after contracting PTGD, Post-Traumatic Gollum Disorder is no joke to the Average Gamer or the Tolkien Fan.

[@RhysCallinan-cg5ww]

He survived years of drug abuse, horrible movies and marriage, but can he survive the jank?

[@PriyaPans]

I'm new ish here, I just about recognise fringy and rags. Who's Gary?

[@toastytoast9800]

@@PriyaPans friend of efap, he runs the nerdrotic channel

[@PriyaPans]

@@toastytoast9800 thanks!

[@reverendray3036]

We desperately need the Wolf edited video uploaded on its own. We, both the Unlisted and the Uploaded Gangs deserve it.

[@lorddolamite6141]

Brother in Christ, I can't believe they are charging full price for this. Foodfight had better animations... Barely. Although, seeing Gollum die and get laid out like Peter Griffin constantly is priceless.

[@TaoScribble]

I'm 100% convinced that they made Gollum's fall-damage deaths so visceral as a form of stress relief. The ragdolling is the most hilarious thing I've seen, and the _crunch_ sound effect is so. Dang. INTENSE. XD

[@lorddolamite6141]

*CRUNCH!* Eeeep!

[@Sue20022010]

An actual food fight has better animation

[@CptBarbarosa]

"Wolf has no plans on ever playing this game." Oh how the times change.

[@Longshanks1690]

My favourite part was when Sméagol said “It’s golluming time” and lorded all over the ring. This was truly one of the video games of all time!

[@Redyqar]

You mean “lorded all other ring”

[@CruelestChris]

I liked the part where Agent Smith was at the meeting and 006 said "What are we, some kind of Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: Extended Edition?"

[@nananamamana3591]

@@nmr7203 Rata didn't even make it tho? Please stop giving our little slavianian card game player blame he didnt earn.

[@-Perene]

1982: E.T. (Atari) 1999: Superman 64 (N64) 2023: The Lord of the Rings: Gollum

[@Astroman10]

Wolf tried his hardest to save all of us from the Lord of Ring: Gollum nightmare! However, Gollum won the argument over the DMCA strike!

[@Nox117]

I don't know if I've ever heard Fringy laugh as much and as hard as he does in this episode. It was wonderful. As a Fringy disciple, I enjoyed hearing our lord laugh like this.

[@scottski02]

In the immortal words of AVGN: "WHAT were they thinking??!!?!"

[@johnathonjohnston1598]

In the words of the Irate Gamer, “in the words of the nerd, what were they thinking?”

[@nananamamana3591]

In the words of Angry Joe: *"WHAT WERE THEY THINGKING!!!!??!!!"*

[@sauronplugawy3866]

They weren't. They were on crack, meth, weed and heroin while making this.

[@kennethc3045]

I don't understand why a point and click developed was singled out to make a Gollum game.... and it was decided to make it a full 3D game that had an entire range of skills that the developers would obviously not be experienced in. Why do companies keep doing this? You don't hire Pixar to make a completely live action movies.

[@mrminecraftcubeable]

Supposedly some core people left and they got bought by a publisher notorious for screwing over the devs of The sinking city I think the publishers wanted to squeeze money (hence the awful dlc) and the german government stuff that reminds me of the reason uwe boll movies got made

[@xolotltolox]

​@@mrminecraftcubeable the fuck is this government stuff?

[@petriew2018]

i mean, if your disney, you kinda' do hire Pixar to make your 'live action' movies..... considering 90% of them is CGI anyway....

[@arenkai]

Basically, fuck Nacon yes

[@ElGreco15]

Depends on if the license is expiring too

[@bubblegumtyranid2534]

I don’t know how many times I have watched this, but anytime I need a good laugh I come back to Golum Lord of Ring Therapy

[@scienceviking4490]

This is the most entertaining EFAP we've had in a while.

[@krisnorge5830]

"I looked everywhere for the creature Gollum... But the enemy found him before I did. How long they tortured him I do not know... They made him run errands, herd huge beasts, breed birds, do yoga... BUt amidst all the screams and babbling they discerned two words." - Gandalf

[@JustAnArrogantAlien]

1:31:08 I am a little disappointed. Right after “pull the lever, Kronk,” she didn’t think to follow up with “WRONG LEVAAAH!” Even though she somehow DID fall through the platform.

[@adrinkwithjam1134]

The freaking thumbnail is just so perfect

[@thegrimcritic5494]

I feel like “Stray” did what this game was trying to do, but did so INFINITELY BETTER. Because technically speaking, Stray also is a very simple game with little combat, but makes up for it with heavy emphasis on platforming, world-exploring, puzzles, and trying to piece together the larger story from a relatively small perspective. I feel like that’s one way this game could have worked. Too bad the devs didn’t seem to have any fucking clue as to what kind of a game they wanted Gollum to be.

[@NathanCassidy721]

Keep in mind, Stray is a considerably shorter game because the devs knew the gimmick would get old REALLY fast. For comparison: Stray takes about 5 hours to beat. Lord of Ring: Golem takes about 12 AND HALF HOURS to beat. But a shorter time would not have helped Gollum because it’s a story that nobody asked for because it didn’t need to be told and nobody wanted to hear about it anyway.

[@thegrimcritic5494]

@@NathanCassidy721 Also very true lmao.

[@bad-people6510]

Reminds me of an old 32 in 1 NES game where the fall damage was just a threshold of having fallen so far, so you would die if you fell too far, even if you hadn't hit the ground yet. So you'd be falling, and then just go into the death animation in mid-air.

[@kbgman01]

Literally Action 52.

[@scottski02]

"In Action 52, you will hit the air so hard, you will die." --AVGN

[@RC__1207]

I'm glad Wolf used Lorna Shore for the gollumcore joke. Because of it I finally checked them out. "Pain Remains I: Dancing Like Flames" is an absolute banger with a soul crushing video to match. Thank you.

[@llucaxu1249]

My favorite part is when the Longman said "It's locking time" and balled all over the EFAP Crew.

[@Arphemius]

The bird doesn't actually change to black - it's somehow worse. They seemed to have forgotten or were unable to connect your choice of color to the cutscenes, so they randomly choose a different color each time. If you look at it, it will switch back and forth between black, brown and white depending on the cutscene you're in.

[@64bitcrafts]

Always happy to hear Wolf's doing well. Sorry he had to participate in this shitfest at Tolkien's expense, but thanks for his service, all the same.

[@hermannlagrange803]

I loved that once scene where Mr Miyagi came in and said to Gollum "Wizard On. Wizard Off".

[@Valehass]

Steam list the reviews as "mostly negative". That's the biggest understatement I have ever seen. It's a wall of red. The only blue comments are responses from the devs begging people not to refund the game as they "are bringing out patches that fix the bugs soon".

[@tsafrirblotnick7393]

Genuinely one of the funniest episodes of EFAP's history. We had a group watch yesterday and some mechanics and bugs made us stop multiple times due to laughter. Also, Wolf did amazing with the editing on this one. Bless you MASSIVES!

[@OutsideTheTargetDemographic]

I have the "EFAP raiding the star destroyer" meme picture as my work computer background. A third party IT came around today, to do what they do. They asked for permission to use my work computer, which I gave, and when the background came up, he got to work....then paused...then turned to me, pointing, and said "Is that that MauLer guy?" 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 He said he knew you from Critical Drinker's podcast. The Brood grows.

[@yetanotherspuart3993]

Every day the Brood grows, in epic celestial fashion.

[@OutsideTheTargetDemographic]

@@yetanotherspuart3993 just as the spiders foretold

[@yetanotherspuart3993]

@@OutsideTheTargetDemographic Spooders still doing a great job. Don bless all the spiders and your and your family OTTD.

[@OutsideTheTargetDemographic]

@@yetanotherspuart3993 May the Don be with you too. The Spiders work in mysterious ways.

[@arenkai]

I really feel bad for the devs that had to go through this game's development cycle... Judging by the size of the game's credits and the actual size of the Gollum dev team, they had a MASSIVE turnover on the project, which is usually the sign of a lack of direction and terrible management. Seriously, fuck Nacon

[@mrminecraftcubeable]

I recommend giving their point and click games a try, they were really nice and you could tell by the dev commentary that they really cared

[@Edax_Royeaux]

Mauler made Az and Metal play Gollum, meanwhile Mauler made Jay Exci watch The Prestige. We can see who Mauler's true friend is.

[@jackobrien47]

I just can't believe how little reaction there was to the line "Gollum breeds slimy orclings" I almost died when I heard that. you let me down chat

[@HectorLopez0217]

People say what could you do with a Gollum game, but you could make a really good one traveling Mordor, learning how elves turned to orcs, forming a bond with Shelob, be in talks with Sauron. It’s funny hearing Theo apply modern game dev intentions to this

[@morganseppy5180]

Yes, the IP has tons of potential. Idk why so many have trouble imaging such richly detailed books.

[@RhysCallinan-cg5ww]

Yes. It could've worked, with the right story and developers. But sadly, they chose not to. I wish they could've done one where Gollum was following the Fellowship and then Frodo and Sam, and giving parts of what he was doing during his absence when Frodo pushed him down a cliff. Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

[@fantasywind3923]

@@morganseppy5180 there were many missed opportunities with this game, they could have added other locations because basically in the game as it is there are only Mordor and Mirkwood locations, but one could have had other places, Dead Marshes, the cities of Dale and Esgaroth where Gollum went after all: ""But from hints dropped among the snarls I even gathered that his padding feet had taken him at last to Esgaroth, and even to the streets of Dale, listening secretly and peering. Well, the news of the great events went far and wide in Wilderland, and many had heard Bilbo's name and knew where he came from. We had made no secret of our return journey to his home in the West. Gollum's sharp ears would soon learn what he wanted.'" Or make something with Aragorn's hunt for Gollum, like switching between characters in various sections of the story, Aragorn one would be more action heavy, though still with stealth elements :)...but it's still not the concept that Tolkien fans would truly want....a proper open world single player RPG set in Middle-earth, a GOOD one...seriously if CD Projekt could succeed with the Witcher, which is also adapting book series into video games...why not Lord of the Rings? Hell if some other developer did it one can imagine a 'survival horror' type game :) or something along the lines of Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice or something...just for the theme of the madness and voices in the head a bit of psychological tension that sort of thing :), avoiding monsters.

[@lookbach]

Great to hear Wolf being back. Hope you’re doing great man!

[@tkellaway]

This is unironically probably the most people who have completed Gollum in one place at one time.

[@CommanderZx2]

It's amusing how they stripped out simple idle animations, which would be part of any 3rd person game, and then sold them to you as DLC.

[@aquapendulum]

We are so far gone from the Peter Jackson trilogy that it's just misery now. This is worse than Rings of Power.

[@RhysCallinan-cg5ww]

I don't know, the crew got more joy from this than RoP. And at least it wasn't as lore breaking as that pathetic excuse for an adaption. If it was Amazon they'd make Gollum Trans or have a gay relationship between him and Smeagol. Or Gandalf might be black.

[@grimjoker5572]

Metal actually provides insight into why this game was made and it's the exact same reason that those horrible Uwe Boll movies got made. Perhaps this is the new tax shelter since Germany closed the old one in 2005.

[@lusasedoux479]

I'm so proud of you for coming out like this, and know you have our support in the coming tribulations. Godspeed to a healthy recovery.

[@whosweptmymines3956]

When that elf just drops down the hole and then you hear "where did the elf go?" at 3:03:45 I just about lost it.

[@RM_VFX]

Whenever I'm working on my game demo, and I start to doubt myself...I can always look back to this, and think "people actually paid $50 for The Lord of Ring: Gollum."

[@eggpling]

Hearing Fringy complain about the pronunciation of "route" is hilarious because both existed in Britain before Britain settled with the "root" pronunciation. Americans didn’t decide the other pronunciation, Brits did and Americans kept it, haha.

[@akashajones6079]

Well that's the point, Americans refuse to evolve with the rest of the world.

[@apocryphicdeath]

​@@akashajones6079 This is the stupidest thing I've ever read in an EFAP comment section, congrats.

[@Handsy_McGee]

This is legitimately 90% of language differences between England and America. Same thing with soccer, for instance.

[@Kernwadi]

“Listen, forty percent of men over the age of fifty struggle with locked balls. It's totally normal and it's nothing to be ashamed about! You shouldn't joke about it!” -Bilbo Baggins

[@theevilgood]

Im convinced the trauma from this game directly led to Az's autistic "pronouns" meltdown

[@colinwalker4824]

Well, after experiencing the acting man drama, I think we may be seeing a long saga in real time rather than isolated events.

[@Kernwadi]

I will say: do not play Lord of Ring: Gollum; for not all games are worth playing.

[@HalbdaemonKite]

4:29 It's prolly gotten a lot easier since Christopher Tolkien died, since he seemed to be the last on to actually give a shit.

[@LordThulhu]

Oh no, the Lore Compendium part where Mauler said "A child could draw this" is made by Clip Studio free map assets. I know because I used them myself when I was brainstorming a world map for a fantasy story I was working on. I recognize the trees and mountains. They edited them and redrew them (maybe... Because the line-art is still inconsistent in some parts). They're good for brainstorming and use for a rough idea of the world building because it's quick and easy to edit, but you should not put them into any project because they look incredibly cheap and can clash with each other's art-styles because they come from different artists. For example, the mountains are more detailed than the trees and it's very noticeable. The tower in the front is obviously made in 3D because of the perspective and details on it (The mountains and trees have the basic frontal perspective). Hell they screwed up the mountain that is closer to the screen too, the line-art is thinner than the line-art of the other mountains and it has a different perspective... it's the view of the top, not front like the others. There are free mobile games which have incredible maps in them. They really did not care and I'm baffled by the nerve to charge extra for something like that.

[@Zoddlander]

I feel more sad for Az at this point! Atleast Metal and Mauler could drink away the misery of the game! But Az has committed to sobriety and healthy living! Good on you mate ! Unfortunatly you are now being sacrificed to appease to the Eldritch gods that Mauler worships! Oh Az! You poor unfortunate soul! - I dropped same comment in the extended cut video comments! Its one year later and this is still making me LOL!

[@wyattwebb6963]

Regarding Az's question about why the elves were in a cave, the Mirkwood elves, who Gollum is imprisoned by, live in the caves in The Hobbit, so it may have been both saving on assets and sticking to the lore.

[@colinwalker4824]

This lore is good rat

[@troo_6656]

Az losing his mind and Metal getting more and more interested in anything besides Gollum has to be some of the funniest stuff I've seen this month

[@steffanyschwartz7801]

To recover from this I recommend to victims to play Tears Of The Kingdom

[@mr.barcode3186]

Fuck yes! If you loved Breath of the Wild, you'll love Tears of the Kingdom.

[@nananamamana3591]

@@mr.barcode3186 Well yes, because it's a cheap asset flip that said "what if Breath of the Wild... but ALSO Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts!" If you're going to buy the same game that runs like shit, twice, why not just buy Skyrim?

[@Smashbrofan78]

You can literally build a tank to steamroll gambledork's army! OOOHHH RRRAAAHHH!!!!

[@charmandyorton006]

10:17 “Legit thought this thumbnail was Gollum nailed to the cross” 20:47 "YOU EVEN SAID IT WRONG!" 1:10:54 “How could you do this? How could you make that??" 1:20:32 "They're not even on the bridge, they're just off the bridge" 1:23:55 Gollum scratches his bum 1:36:42 Gollum dies suspended over lava 1:51:09 “He’s on his way to Oppenheimer” 2:07:25 "I really was not happy... This is what you did to me, MauLer" 2:09:23 "I thought this was like a meme for a second, this is the game" 2:13:08 “That’s money on the table, waiting right there” 2:23:04 "I'll save you, here I come, I'm doing it, I'm saving you" 2:28:32 "I'm starting to think Gollum doesn't want to live" 2:36:03 Task failed successfully 2:38:32 "He's doing his best"

[@westonowsley4143]

The pain of seeing this game is worth to hear from wolf the EFAP legend

[@vespenegas261]

Never played this game and I still want my money back. Even after so many wonderful memes we had with this one.

[@Rickmagnus911]

If only MauLer could have forced Nerdrotic to play and be here. Now that would have been an EFAP for the ages. Also yay for the Wolf (off) cameo.

[@Horvath_Gabor]

You know, the more I think about this game, the more I feel that the concept itself isn't inherently non-viable. As in, there are some scaffolding here that could've become a decent game, but the execution fell waaay short. For example, imagine this: You're playing as Gollum, right after he escapes captivity in Mordor. It's a pure stealth game. No strangling, no crazy platforming, no AI companions, you just have to get from point A to point B while avoiding enemies and collecting information about where the "precious" is. You can still have these characters in the background, but just that; background characters. Gollum doesn't give a rat's ass about them, because they don't have anything to do with his "precious". At most, you sneak around and listen in on them to learn where to go next. You start out in Mordor. You learn that the "precious" is on the move, so you escape. Then on the way out, you learn that the Fellowship was in Rivendell, so you make the journey through the elven forests to get there. There, you learn which way the fellowship left, and you follow them into Moria. You witness the whole Balrog-scene from a different perspective, and try to follow the Fellowship into Lothorien, only to be thwarted, so you wait until Boromir makes his move, stalk Frodo and Sam, and the game ends with a hard cut the moment he's about to attack them. On top of that, the whole Gollum vs. Smeagol thing could be interwoven into the game. You would still have the arguments, but they would actually have in-game ramifications. Smeagol is fretful and cautious, and always takes the less dangerous route, which is safer but longer, while Gollum wants to hurry things up and takes the more risky, more dangerous approach. For example, you have to get through a door guarded by two elven guards in Rivendell. You can first explore the area for clues, say, a torch, some oil, and some flammable curtains, and then there's the internal debate between Gollum and Smeagol. If Smeagol wins, they create a fire as a distraction, and while it takes time, it will cause the guards to leave their post, allowing you to pass through. If Gollum wins, he instead throws the oil directly at the guards, lightning them on fire, and pushes through while they are trying to put themselves out. The latter is faster, but it also causes an alarm, and guards in later stages are going to be looking for you, so you have to actually consider the pros and cons each time. Unfortunately, we got this game instead, but it's not nearly as sad as the fact that a bunch of people probably worked really, really hard on this, and they most likely got screwed over by some kind of development hell situation, forcing them to release Gollum: Lord of Ring as is.

[@ThatGoblinShow]

I had to make a new playlist for this video as one of the funniest videos on KZbin. Love you guys

[@wilferrero244]

I've never laughed so hard during an EFAP in my fucking life

[@professormallard4348]

Nah, isle of man reveal still has it for me. But damn this had me in tears at work and my coworkers were concerned lol

[@wilferrero244]

@@professormallard4348 a classic

[@Morgan_Halloway]

Glad to see the Lock Ball bit make it into the final compilation lol

[@annatardlordofderps9181]

What the f*ck happened to gaming where we got Forspoken, Redfall, and Lord of Ring: Gollum all within 3 months of each other. Each one of those should be a once-in-a-console-generation bad game.

[@diazinamon2431]

Don't forget The Callisto Protocol, and The Last of Us PC port. Truly, a golden age for gaming.

[@RhysCallinan-cg5ww]

Gary did say this year was gonna be bad, though he meant for movies and shows (he said this during Velma I believe). A lot of shit that got delayed cuz of the virus, and the other virus that's killing entertainment is currently in its peak to dying phase and won't go without a fight. So I'm guessing the sludge is also infesting games as well, which makes sense because of the "everything is political" bastards out there.

[@ConnorJane]

At least Forspoken was more or less functional game, from gameplay point of view.

[@callsignbrennda2254]

Looks like Germany has one more atrocity to apologize for…my god this was funny in the most horrendous way possible.

[@Goblin_Magic]

I think the way to have made a Gollum game would have been to turn his insanity into a mechanic, like the use of psychosis in Hellblabe: Senua's Sacrifice. A hardcore stealth survival game where you battle with ring withdraw and slowly lose your Hobbitity (or whatever the Hobbit equivalent of humanity)

[@TheLeadhound]

Never forget we have a recording of Tolkien reading Riddles in the Dark. So canonically... Gollum is Welsh.

[@theaverageDon]

I'm so upset I missed this stream 😢 I went back and realized I even got the notification for it too. Stupid work keeping me distracted 😂

[@Party_Almsivi]

Wolf’s still got it!

[@Sorel2020]

AZs playthrough: "Don't cry for me I'm already dead.."

[@TheOneAverageJoe]

nonstop ringing a goddamn bell for 2 straight minutes is so fun thank you

[@TactWendigo]

I can't believe its already been a year, holy shit.

[@Keegan_Kael]

This is definitely not the last time I'm going to watch this EFAP, Wolf is killing me with these edits.

[@sardoniclysane]

“GOLLUM roots around for edibles. “ Man I can relate😅

[@JHAN1212]

Wolf actually edited Gollum noises into Lorna Shore

[@LegaLImmigrnt]

12:23 Hold up, didn't the door that the fellowship enter to get into Moria, get destroyed, or was that only for the movie.

[@koalasciences4319]

Thank you for the compilation Mauly-boi :)