Elden Ring Lore - No One Expects The Vulgar Militia

[@goharejaz2171]

Must be this tall to be treated like a person

[@dbearded130]

A world run by shallow Tinder girls? May the gods help us all.

[@ChrrolloDI]

@@dbearded130 makes sense considering marika

[@galacticnightmare]

Too tall and you get impaled and pull carts 😢

[@TOUGHEYES]

Sounds like the dating market for men, and I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one who made that connection.

[@nunchuksteev9811]

Story of my life

[@snail2755]

Me: "Wow I didn't expect the vulgar militia" The 3 Vulgar militants jumping out of nowhere: "Nobody expects the vulgar militia"

[@machi7074]

*Pulls out their Destined Comfy Chair.*

[@geordiejones5618]

Nobody expects the Vulgar Militia! Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Black Blade... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise... I'll come in again.

[@SageTigerStar]

this vid immediately made me go look up the skit again. I love their stuff XD

[@majora919]

lol they even jump out of corners

[@OmnipotentSaiyan]

Me who steps on every poison trap the Vulgar Militia set

[@kimfunclara3826]

Being beaten to a pulp by the militia made me realize how a boss feels like after being beaten by the player.

[@TheGreatAndMightyGoBo]

😂 agreed

[@user-em6rw2pc6n]

Sword of Milos: Milos was undersized for a giant, and was viewed as sullied and terribly grotesque. In TLB, discrimination against short is a common phenomenon

[@ALLMINDmercenarysupportsystem]

I like to imagine that the militia uses saws to cut off the legs off of tall people and make them short.

[@pitbullnamedcupcake8485]

Vulgar Militia: “Tall privilege revoked!”

[@arkinyte13]

“I’m gonna Cotten Hill you!!”

[@scum1633]

@@arkinyte13 i really want to hear one of the vulgar militia yell "i killed fiddy men!"

[@arkinyte13]

@@scum1633 Yes.

[@bigmannn2443]

Thats how they keep their numbers up!

[@chupika6464]

These guys are a longstanding inside joke for my friend group now. When ER was released I was talking to my buddy about what we've found and I said, "Theres this dragon area FULL of little men-" and my buddy just could not get past the fact that they're just lil' dudes. (With big saws)

[@xkidgey]

Imagine being born 5'11 and getting exiled into a life of larceny and murder

[@manbob15]

5’11 isn’t short

[@sageoftruth]

One thought I had was, perhaps Maliketh found comraderie among them after he'd been scorned for failing to guard the death rune. An outcast, living among people who had never had status to begin with.

[@astoraknight04]

That's a nice thought. In my interpretation, as the being who guarded Death every day, Maliketh wanted to perserve Life and the whole process of spirits returning to the Erdtree. That's why he didn't doubt the Golden Order like Marika, and why he became so broken after Godwyn's death and his sister's betrayal, thus, not interfering in the Shattering when the demigod children were screwing everything up. The few that became his followers would only have the mission of finding deathroots.

[@tzebet8707]

@@astoraknight04 that may be why he has given the vulgar milita his incants / parts of his power. The milita men also partake in consuming the dead. They might be used as a tool to hinder deathroot?

[@MeanAndPristine]

These enemies are super unique, no other enemy in the game has such an unorthodox fighting style. Smokebombs, attacking in groups, they even have their own grab attack. I wish they were in more locations, they’re so fun

[@SimonSenaviev]

Many enemies have unique grab attacks tho

[@hostileactual7655]

you forgot poison traps.

[@valorune]

I love the design of these guys. They don't have height, but they make up for it in every way possible. The taller hats, longer weapons, smoke screens, attacking in groups, inflicting blood loss, behind-the-head grappling attacks, agreeing to serve with Destined Death. I like how From implemented many realistically effective ways for them to fight despite their size.

[@Lazymindflayerwithcofffee]

First time i ,saw, one of that guys i was thinking ,,do you have a recrutment camp? Cause i want to join"

[@Aon_Duine]

Don't forget the poison traps

[@topcat59]

The golden order: you’re short, you have no bitches and no lord to serve under and for that you deserve to be discriminated for being different. Praise be lady marika’s holy booba.

[@user-em6rw2pc6n]

Sword of Milos: Milos was undersized for a giant, and was viewed as sullied and terribly grotesque. In TLB, discrimination against short is a common phenomenon.

[@versaii5519]

💀💀💀💀

[@OuterRimPride]

ah yes, the Manlet Minutemen. Maybe being tall is a point of pride because makes you closer to the Erdtree or something.

[@SimonSenaviev]

Like how cathedrals are build so tall so they're closer to heaven

[@mcprawn]

Another interesting thing The militiamen guard areas that regular soldiers are not meant to see (a secret way to the Altus Plateau, the Forbidden Lands and the Hidden Path to the Haligtree, the secret tunnel to Rykard's divine tower). They know many of the Golden Order's secrets, but they can't share them with other factions since everyone hates them.

[@dynamicflashy]

Also, Gaol Cave in Caelid where they were burning the Scarlet Rot-infested alive.

[@lucamckenn5932]

Checks out. They're soldiers of fortune to the right person, the kind no one of sound mind would ever listen to. "There's this secret elevator under the erdtree that leads to anothe" "OH yeah sure yeah. "

[@fishyboy2140]

The vulgar militia are probably my favorite characters for their weapons and their odd design. It’s nice seeing them getting some love.

[@notbrandon721]

These little dudes will make your health bar shorter than them like no ones business.

[@jamesnorman9160]

The title for this vid seems appropriate, because I remember the first time I got ambushed by some of these guys in Liurnia I was thinking 'Wait, what's going on? Is this an ambush? WHY ARE THERE MIDGETS WITH FARMING TOOLS AFTER ME?!' Seriously, some of the enemy design in this game is really unexpected. Also, their existence clearly means that anyone under 5' 5'' in the Lands Between is looked down on. No wonder so many other major figures are so dman tall.

[@TsukimuraMidori]

that also means that, at 5' 5", i'm the minimum height required for being treated like a person

[@jonnygami]

Imagine encountering a militia man sitting on a giant’s shoulder or something. that’d be a cool lil boss encounter or side quest

[@Daniel_Lancelin]

Maester Blaster lol.

[@fletchoid]

I first came upon them as a Rune Farm exploit, but began to really appreciate fighting them. I try out all my new spells and weapons on them, and practice various tactics before I tackle a particularly difficult boss. Also, its nice to fight against a relatively "normal" foe, rather that the usual psychotic abominations you run into.

[@bw5020]

This! I thought I was the only one.

[@prawn1717]

I’d be interested to see how the militia convinced Maliketh to lend them the power of destined death. Were they so competent that they impressed him? Or was he sympathetic to their plight? It’s not something he would just freely hand out, and the only other creatures he entrusts it to are the towering black blade kindred iirc.

[@darklordauron]

I think the cannibalism angle is also attached to the real word connection between pygmies and headhunters in the south pacific.

[@chandusaha4864]

thank you for always entertaining us with your videos as for height being a basis for discrimination, it might be something related to the iconography of trees. since the lands between is governed by the laws of a tree, the height represents strong ties to the erdtree and its grace, making those of short stature automatically far separated from grace and the erdtree

[@square-table-gaming]

That's what we're here for ;)

[@ihorhandziuk3644]

Being at the sites of recent battlefields, vulgar militia might be the ones gathering the corpses of the champions to be used for creating gargoyles. Gruesome as it may be, I think they use their saw-like weapons to separate parts of the bodies that will later be combined with corpse wax.

[@julianadams3710]

The saws say they’re used to cut up bodies and that the Militia eat them. Though it also says this might be a rumor.

[@rachnussouldrinkerlibraria5640]

An interesting theory... it makes sense now that I look at it

[@simonfsson817]

Holy shit yes

[@Hauerization]

Good theory. And so damn creepy its probably true.

[@tzebet8707]

They want you too 🫵

[@liamvt2]

Its worth pointing out that godrick was short as well. And really grew a complex around that. Its interesting that if he hasn't resorted to grafting he might instead have decided to stay small and created a knighthood out of the vulgar militia.

[@SerpelDelSol]

We need an age of short kings ending for the dlc

[@14dcook]

I might be wrong, but their tendency to work around fresh battlefields, coupled with their tactics, hats, and stature give me major Redcap vibes.

[@aarongoosby5532]

I will, forever hence, call Lord Godfrey as MY TALLEST in the Invader Zim voice now.

[@embersstark7126]

They're like the Misbegotten; underestimated and more dangerous than they let on. Elden Ring halflings, not to be trifled with

[@EldricIsCool]

Height being correlated to status is a theme in Invader Zim, which to me, is a hilarious parallel.

[@gundamdetractor337]

tbh using basic Gundam data from 1995 its easy to predict and read their movements once you lock on their targets. "They aren't bad, but they tend to group together, making them easy targets." -Trowa Barton

[@camelia4603]

Anyone else think their armor is a reference to the dlc.. it mentions 'freshly-singed battle grounds and stench of dead' which evokes the Wicker Man. Also reference to forbidden lands excised from history where they're untiring (maybe because they're asleep).

[@spookieboogi6161]

This explains why the little buggers always go for your knees they like come down to my level!

[@darklordnier]

Both the Kinderd and Militia had Maliketh ability because they are agents of Maliketh and are his allies

[@stevereeves6971]

I thought they were essentially the cleanup crew after major battles. One of the item descriptions references them being around battlefields. They carry bone-saws for weapons and haul off the bodies. Maybe the saws are because all the bodies would be people/creatures larger than themselves, so they cut them into manageable pieces. Nasty to think about but def not a stretch for this game. Idk I partially formed that theory as I was typing this lol. But they are def the low men on the totem pole…

[@oceanman7336]

Is love to see a vulgar militia variant as ninja utilizing actual items as traps and using verticality in their attack pattern jumping off walls and ceilings to evade and proc status effects

[@cornthdl]

I think height and status being related may have something to do with the Brick Hammer and Giant Crusher’s item descriptions. Both talk about the size and power of men in the Lands Between dwindling. So they would literally be seen as a lesser people.

[@jgarfunkle]

I imagined someone saying "the vulgar militia" the same way Monty Python said "The spanish inquisition"

[@square-table-gaming]

Exactly what we were going for

[@MadMax22]

Heres what Ive been thinking. What if we're not normal size. What if the Militia are normal size and we're giant.

[@eser8167]

The reason I find this video title funny is that I also built up these guys in my head the same way. They are these little dwarf guys, but they can mess you up in a few seconds if you aren't careful. After a while, I just went "oh shit it's the vulgar militia" everytime I met them and it's funny that I apparently wasn't the only one.

[@christopherchilton-smith6482]

And now I get to have a tinge of guilt next time I farm them for runes, thanks.

[@ravioli_826]

I like how they’re a realistic depiction of small stature fighters. Most fantasy depicts dwarves as using short axes or hammers, even it’s a two handed weapon, dwarf weapons are usually shorter. In reality if you are smaller it’s better to have a longer weapon.

[@Daniel_Lancelin]

I think dwarves tend to use shorter weapons since they're used to fighting in claustrophobic conditions, but in an open battlefield, it would definitely make sense to bring some spears and polearms.

[@ickyvicky]

The milita holding destined death makes me think they've had a long relationship w/ Gurranq, before the shattering and now they search for the lands for death root. At least that's what conclusion I've come to.

[@SophiaLilithUwU]

One thing that you missed tying the vulgar militia to deathroot is the fact that you can find them in the Hidden Path to the Hailigtree, a dungeon where actual deathroot is found, not just hypothetical deathroot like you talked about in the video. This leads me to believe that the stray mimic tear in the same dungeon was left there by the black knives of ordina in order to protect the deathroot it. Black Knives are shown to be protecting deathroot often after all and they are descendents of the eternal cities, so to me it would make sense they would employ their technology to protect detahroot from the prying hands of the vulgar militia. My personal theory as to why the lands between harbour such predudice towards short people and consequently favor those of large stature is the fact that it mirrors the heights to which trees can grow. "Tall as a tree" is a common idiom in english after all and all aspects of golden order society are centered around tree worship, so i could see tall people being considered to be blessed by the erdtree itself, and short people to be spurned by it, their stature being a far cry form the erdtree's gravitas. After all the golden order society discriminates against beings that are so unlike their beloved erdtree already with those touched by the crucible. Omens and misbegotten are chaotic and the erdtree is order. vulgar milita are short and the erdtree is tall. The erdtree was hand picked and groomed to become one orderly, straight, beautiful branch out of the many competing sprouts of the crucible and consequently, humanity too became less chaotic, more genetically delineated and physiologically uniform compared to the life given by the chaotic crucible. So one could speculate that the vulgar militia represent yet another way in which the pruning of the erdtree was not a complete success.

[@square-table-gaming]

You're right, this should have been mentioned especially since we used footage from the area

[@matiasluukkanen7718]

It is interesting that Golden Order seems so discriminating, but in the same time is only organization that accepted Darian and Dewin, the twins reviled by all other institutions and belief systems.

[@Syntox]

They can still one shot you regardless of their self consciousness

[@HelldiverHusky2077]

Funny. In all 4 of my play throughs, that gargoyle never attacked me. That's weird.

[@TotalBlackoutPainting]

Height is a form of status in *our* world. Another great video guys. Thank you.

[@efnfen]

A lot of guys are insecure about their height so adding a group of people mistreated for being short into the game really resonates with their target audience

[@rKhael53]

I like these dudes. Hobbit ninjas with glorious hats are pretty badass ! (also, they have kickass coats)

[@TheArmouredAlechemist]

I relate to these guys. I, too am small, with an annoying high pitched voice who inflected bleed and poisons those around me. One day we will Rise!

[@valkoroska2369]

now now lil timmy, dont run with scissors and force feed glue to people

[@TheArmouredAlechemist]

@@valkoroska2369 *Squeaky War Cry*

[@zinzolin14]

They should hear our war cries

[@skybluebrad2781]

These scared me so bad my 1st encounter. They actually herded me to a corner and flanked me. What terrifying teamwork lol

[@skybluebrad2781]

I've been obsessed with them ever since

[@kieran6417]

I know it wouldn't work gameplay wise but I like to imagine the tarnished gets bigger with ever great rune they get

[@FrostRare]

I always wondered why From didn’t build in some finisher move that you could pull on dragons, like jumping onto their head and stabbing them or grabbing their tail, running up along their spine, and bashing their neck or eyes. Would be very easy to do: copy and paste some animation from God of War. You even do it in Dark Souls 1 to the first boss. Your video now, I’m thinking that maybe From Soft deliberately did not want you to feel _that_ powerful. They didn’t want you to feel like you were so strong that you could manhandle such a large beast, instead having to deal with them as though you are a little mosquito buzzing around its legs. This may further establish this hierarchy of stature you’re describing.

[@cavemancult1999]

MANLETS RISE UP LMAOO

[@divinity8844]

The art just keeps getting better and better man. You've been one of my favorite people to listen to for a while. Keep up the good work STG

[@justanotherperson3076]

I was waiting for someone to do the vulgar militia great video as always

[@xSettlerx]

I remember putting hours into grinding for the sickle and chain they carry. To no avail.

[@GrandGoblin]

The first time I encountered these freaky lil guys I got bled to death. Ever since then I spam target when going through narrow areas with bushes.

[@MechaBorne]

The Vulgar Militia is what you get if the Scourge of the Shire wasn't stopped. Bloodborne Hobbits.

[@warmagicks]

i love the lore videos you guys put out as you covering topics and characters i wouldn't think to, but am interested to learn about! likewise, the drawn thumbnails are easily a favourite element of mine showcasing the channel! whoever draws them is so talented, and it really compliments the content while making the video unique on first glance.

[@square-table-gaming]

Thank you! Our artist Pat Gee is crazy talented. We drop a link to his art pal in every video description.

[@winterkry45]

The only question I have is how the heck do we get their clothes in our size?

[@square-table-gaming]

The Magic of Fashion

[@fishyboy2140]

They just wear really lose clothing

[@fitzhugh7463]

Baby gap

[@rkmugen]

I take pride in the fact that it was my dual Vulgar Militia Saws that took down Malenia. Clearly, she didn't expect the Vulgar Militia!

[@ElimGarakSpoonHead]

Elden ring is still content goldmine long after a lot of us quit playing but ill come back for dlc. Still fascinated by the lore.

[@jack688]

Kind of reminds me of the Halfling mercenary group in the forgotten realms, known as "The Kneebreakers", who are like warrior hobbits who rode on war pigs rather then horses or ponies. They were vary effective and smart, not being afraid to run if things got too out of hand.

[@judahfade1003]

I wish we could get their chain and sickle weapon.

[@Daniel_Lancelin]

Exactly, it would be perfect for my Reedlander assassin character. Those wide-sweeping chain attacks would work very well with my ludicrously stocked up arsenal of kukri, sleep pots, and poison darts.

[@RommelStorm]

I love their helm because I've always been a coneboy ever since. DS3's Sunset helm, Bloodborne's Gold Ardeo, etc. But damn even the Lands Between scorn those who are 5' below.

[@TheAzureEnd]

"Thanks for your service, Vulgar Militia!" Said nobody.

[@boyblue5320]

i can literally search any idea or thought about this gorgeously made piece of art and you guys are there for me every time. thanks.

[@square-table-gaming]

If we're ever not, let us know!

[@alyandthecats]

I bet they have something to do with the furtive pygmy from dark souls. Like, we play as someone in contention for a thrown amidst the gods. What if they're just normalish humans and we're actually just smaller lords?

[@kivsto8130]

I wonder if their armor is a reference to the dark souls 3 mound makers

[@colossaltitan3546]

On a side note; Zullie covered this in a video long ago, but tall enemies and bosses even has a practical purpose in gameplay. Not only does it serve to convey how powerful and intimidating an enemy can be, but it'll also slightly angle the camera from the top down when you lock on, thus giving you a better field and angle of view. Which helps, given their size. Pretty cool to think about regardless.

[@omegasiarnaq]

Shunned for being short. That hurts, I understand that pain. Despite my research into the size of enemies and Tarnished, where the average Tarnished including the PC are estimated to be around 1.75 meters/ 5'7. Making the Tarnished and myself the same height. (Which is considered short by today's standards.)

[@Mako_VEVO]

One of the strangest spots for the Vulgar militia is on the way up to Magma Worm Makar, with the militia and their poison traps being present some way up the climb. This is an oddly strange place for them, how do they seem to fit in there?

[@kelvinsantiago7061]

I've always thought they were a race of Pygmy's! Kinda like the Fenito and Gyrm from DS2.

[@Mgauge]

I almost feel bad for stabbing them by the dozens for runes. Almost, but not quite.

[@Daniel_Lancelin]

These guys are the bread and butter of my grinding strategy, but their sudden spinning attacks and high damage output (relative to an early-game Tarnished) make them too dangerous to take lightly, so I've developed a certain cautious appreciation for them. Their design, both visual and gameplay-wise, is pretty cool too. They're basically manlet Viet Cong lmao.

[@kivsto8130]

They couldve been elf dentists but chose s dark path

[@shaynecarter-murray3127]

Definitely one of my favorite enemy factions. I hate dealing with the bouncy little buggers and their poison traps, but such a neat design

[@Daniel_Lancelin]

They're easy enough to 1v1 if you can repeatedly crouch-strafe around them and backstab them when they stand up.

[@MagnyrDelorn]

Glad to see this video, as while I was streaming, I ran across these guys for the first time and didn't realize they were even human. Their battle tactics remind me of D&D Kobolds.

[@patecar20]

They may be small, but they are no joke. They got me many times in the snow area. They just blend in so well no matter where they are.

[@Daniel_Lancelin]

They show up in places you don't expect to find them as well, so it always feels like a genuine ambush.

[@ClonserHalphalive]

I certainly didn't expect the vulgar militia. If anybody did, I'd say that they're lying!

[@D00M3R-SK8]

I used the militia sawblade thing for ages. was a really good weapon. I also love the headpiece. Similarly in DKS3 I mained the knives from the dudes that were re-used as the crypt cats. I always love finding a lesser known weapon that can be abused, then abuse the hell out of it. in DKS 3 I think it was the dual wield attack or something, it applied bleed or poison or something really quickly. been so long since I played it.

[@danielsatter1805]

I think i first came across them in Caelid outside the beastial Sanctum. I've killed so so many too 😕

[@punchlord]

Smaller dudes pack on muscle easier, its science. One day the Vulgar Militia shall evolve into the Bulge-ar Militia

[@Daniel_Lancelin]

The Swole-ger Militia

[@robertsoto5713]

Always a good day when stg drops a lore video. Appreciate ya

[@square-table-gaming]

More to come!

[@wayward5219]

Young Yoda!?!?

[@Hauerization]

Part from the helmet, I find the vulgar militia armor really cool-looking.

[@MartialLoreNZ]

Great video! Didn't expect it to be such a decent addition to Elden Ring lore.

[@square-table-gaming]

Glad you liked it!

[@russian_knight]

I believe the reason that the militia was ridiculed was because the people of the lands between simply were solidly rooted in prejudice and subjugation to those who were deemed different. Similar to how the mentally disabed were treated in the old days of our society

[@wnxvlakorados4808]

I'm really enjoying these, you deserve more views!

[@schishne7546]

the first time i got ambushed by these in lurinia i was very hooked: Riding my way through some forested area, then suddenly my horse steps on a few poison traps, i get a smoke bomb into my face and cant see shit, then i see 2 of them jumping out from the bushes to my left and right and as i get hit and try to press on i get two more of these guys from the front side and get dismountet and killed afterwards. loved that enccounter though because i love very well made ambushes and i hoped to be able to have some sort of traps in this game but...well we dont...not even the smoke bombs. wouldve been very awesome to make a build of their playstyle

[@captainofmysoul1355]

Something i noticed watching this video is that most of the militia's weapons look like repurposed gardening tools to me. Which lends credence to the idea of them trying to harvest deathroot.

[@joshuamorris5290]

I always felt like the chosen undead was the hobbit of that world, since the race of gods and even their knights were so much bigger. In the lands between, the vulgar militia represent that, only these ain't your pipe-smoking hole-dwellers who gravitate toward comfort - these guys are annoying little badasses. In a world where gods and demigods are walking around and mingling with mere mortals, it's not hard to understand why pigmy-like people would be treated without much respect.

[@Dieozam]

Finally, a deep look at those weird little guys who always go “AHEHEHE”. Never knew what they were actually called.

[@PraisetheFluffyTail]

I dont know for me they are the most fearsome enemies, you never know how much they are nearby, you usually dont find them , they find you and are really dangerous, tiny sneaky assassins (even if they arent treated as assassins)

[@lucamckenn5932]

It makes sense that the only person besides D to find death root would be an entire faction that gets by by rooting through the dead.

[@Casketkrusher_]

These guys are awesome, love that hacksaw spear weapon.

[@troythefrog4084]

Must be this tall to have any rights

[@MVegetto1]

the people of elden ring are like the aliens from invader Zim the taller the better

[@spookieboogi6161]

*me minding my own business the vulgar militia* and we just got livid

[@luminousazure]

I've always just called them the Keebler elves 🤣