12 Ways to Write Better Sentences for Creative Writers

[@j3551kuh]

"When in doubt, cut it out" is a motto that has saved me more times than I'd like to admit. If I re-read my work and feel that a sentence is too complex, I cut it out and rewrite it in a simpler way.

[@icmull]

I tried this with my bad sentences. Ended up with a blank page.

[@Daniel2374]

​@@icmull4 days I've been wasting with that philosophy. Kkkk

[@MST3Killa]

The filtering aspect is one I always struggle with and something I have to edit out later (when I remember to).

[@Yak1312]

Thankfully that’s what drafts are for.

[@Terik17]

me too because the narrator isn't necessarily narrating only the main character's POV, so when it's a direct thought the MC has, i like to point it out

[@MST3Killa]

@@Terik17 That's a tricky balance to strike that doesn't get talked about much. More literary works really don't have much of the character's direct POV and the more genre stories are much heavier in it. I find amateurs tend to use character POV narration far too heavily. MC direct thoughts are something I used to use way too much and had to minimize. It's not a bad thing, but it doesn't play well for readers in most instances unless the story is really focused in that way.

[@dgage1776]

Because the mind thinks in filters

[@dgage1776]

@@MST3Killa So you write your stories with actions mostly? Actions, descriptions, and dialog mainly?

[@aderftard]

I'm an older man who grew up reading mostly 19th century authors. I've struggled to understand why my writing voice felt so unnatural and formal. Your tips opened my eyes. Thank you.

[@iamaproudpakistani12]

Same

[@alexv259]

From personal experience, having once or twice magic mushroom “trip” greatly helps to make a speedy mental transfer into the new century.

[@maryk5375]

Same! read almost entirely pre-20th century authors for the first 20 years of my life, now finding it quite difficult to break out of the wordy, overly formal style.

[@saorihirai4492]

but why do we have to avoid this?@@maryk5375

[@mickeyaugrec7560]

Hah! I was [remain] a Henry James enthusiast - understand the problem. Reading contemporary plays (especially Mamet) cured me. Hemingway's work trains sentence structure too [I've never heard of the Hemingway editor / app]. Great vlog Ellen Brock!

[@EllenBrock]

Hi guys! I forgot to wait for the HD to finish processing before I published the video, so if it looks blurry to you, just wait about a half hour before watching. Also, typo at 16:48. It should be "set" not "sat." Sorry! I checked my cards a dozen times, but I always manage to miss something. Dang long covid brain fog! Thanks for watching and for your support!

[@The0ldBat]

The content can't be delayed. Blurry or not!

[@kimlaffont9951]

So very helpful to go through all of your tips and videos. Editing is hard work.

[@Villain2007]

Another brilliant, essential video. Thank you 😊

[@thedude110]

#13: watch out for typos! :)

[@oliolion]

I quite like "sat" there. I thought it sounded fine

[@Ibel.lagos.]

I don't understand almost anything you say but I try to watch your videos almost every day to learn English. I send you a virtual hug from Argentina ♥

[@venus9312]

I live in America. The country is so large, many places only have English speakers for hundreds of miles. I live in one of those places. Learning a new language is something I really want to do, and seeing someone learn my language inspires me! Good luck! :)

[@williammcenaney1331]

You write well.

[@AffectionateDancing-yl6ji]

¡Yo creo que entienda mucho inglés mí compañera! En serio, Inglés es una idioma facil. Hay complicaciones, y palabras technicas, pero de gran parte del tiempo, nosotros quienes hablamos Inglés no usar las. ¡Usted es in su camino!

[@lukicraft7]

Argentina is the best country of all america, and they have overall good english, greetings from Argentina

[@PabloDeModeOfficial]

That’s a really good exercise! ❤

[@windguardien]

In all my years writing and consuming writing content, never have I heard passive vs active voice explained so succinctly. Maybe I have, but it finally made sense where as every other explanation had failed. "Is the subject performing the action?" It's so good. Thank you as always for your great work.

[@EllenBrock]

So glad the video helped!

[@KanadaJin]

A funny tip that helps me identify it is to add 'by zombies' at the end of the sentence. If it makes grammatical sense, it's passive voice. 'the kettle was poured...by zombies'. Vs. X poured the kettle. Adding 'X poured the kettle... by zombies' doesn't make any sense. I think I found this tip on Reddit and it's helped me a few times now.

[@EllenBrock]

Cool! Thanks for sharing!

[@syedarizvi7290]

@@KanadaJin oh thank you so much! that actually helps a lot! Haha and it's kind of cute as well

[@syedarizvi7290]

@@EllenBrock thank you very much, this video was indeed really helpful and I will come back to it!

[@nolancapps8654]

Love the tip about avoiding unnecessarily complex sentences. It's easy to write a bad sentence if you force that sentence to do too much

[@jacobkennedy1009]

Giving examples after every suggestion was the best choice you made in this video. It made a significant difference for me. I'm dyslexic and I'm trying to improve my writing ability as I tend to write on the messy side. This was excellent and thank you doesn't feel enough!

[@KingSiik]

........

[@Thesilverninja]

Guilty of all 12. It took me over 10 years to break most of these habits, but old habits die hard. What I've found useful is whenever I use a starting action, like in the example you shared: "Elizabeth started to laugh." I find a starting action helps when you want to have it interrupted by a character. "Elizabeth started to laugh... until John gave her a death stare. Then it wasn't funny." I also wholeheartedly agree on cutting unnecessary words. In one sentence it's not a big deal and is easily forgivable. In a 90,000 page novel the work feels bloated for no reason. If a word is going to be included, it should be a detail with a specific purpose. When I had to write a tribute to someone who had passed, I used a sentence: "And taught her daughter how to calculate sales prices at Dunham's." I could have just said and "calculate sales prices." The sentence can survive on its own. But I added Dunham's so the people local to the area might remember the time period when that store existed. I would have left Dunham's out if it had been a generic chain like Wal Mart. But because this particular Dunham's was a specific store during a specific time period, I added the detail for those who remembered the store. Since I manage a website, I also found using a plugin called Yoast SEO helped improve my writing significantly because it has tools to identify passive voice and wordy sentences. It's mainly geared towards marketing articles and website traffic, but I find it's also useful for improving your own writing style when you force yourself to be more concise. Great video, I also love the graphic and font selection. Very easy to read and extremely educational.

[@lafonevc5663]

You may want to look up the word concise.

[@TheInfamousBertman]

Yikes. I was just about to comment that instead of "creative writers" this title should say "novice writers", as these tips are all very basic.

[@TNcFlipbook]

❤❤

[@cameron4499]

"That was a great eulogy, really appreciated the attention to world building"

[@stet_]

Excellent rundown. Professional (nonfiction) editor myself and I'm still guilty of some of these. A tip I've given some of the writers I work with (especially ESL): If you're worried a sentence is getting into run-on territory, read it out loud under your breath at a normal pace. If you find yourself wheezing by the end, split the sentence roughly where you started running out of breath. Punctuation is meant to replicate on paper the pauses we naturally take when speaking. Also, could I possibly request a video about how to jot down the first page or two of a novel? Not just the opening plot beat, but literally the first few hundred words. Do you have any advice as to how to get past those first few paragraphs/how to make them count?

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@Terik17]

nice tip :)

[@jenniferressmannwriter]

Great process for a run-on sentence! Maybe you could write the beginning later in your writing process. Some recommend this for content blog writing.

[@TNcFlipbook]

❤❤

[@foxonfire7]

I am a begginer so take this with a gracious grain of salt but i can give you a technice that worked for me with writing chapters and filling that dreaded blank page. Set a timer for 5-15 minutes and write without a paus untill it rings. Dont pay attention to finding the right word repetition or using cliche similies or anything like that, just write. I find that once you have something in front of you it becomes much easier to write. If you write something later in the chapter that you think would work better you can always change it later. This only works if you alredy have a vague idea about what do you want to have happen in that chapter and it can be hard jumping straigh into it. I usualy go for a walk and listen to music befor doing this because that helps me relax and get into the mood for writting. I hope i could help. Have a great day.

[@xChikyx]

As a not native english speaker, -ing verbs vs the past conjugation of the same have total different meaning. "She was walking" is she doing the action. "She walked" is already finished. Also, as someone with pretty high aphantasia, I think I experience the writing and reading completely different as someone that can visualize normally: "Yes," she said, walking. // She walked. "Yes." // "Yes." She walked. // Each is 100% different to me.

[@alexengland-shinemercy]

From an applied linguist's/ language teacher's perspective": I agree with you completely. Those constructions are the simple and progressive aspects and indicate actions either being habitual (simple) or unfinished (progressive). The simple aspect (I write) is also often used in narrative writing for actions happening in the narrative's "now", for example "I put my teacup down and pick up my pen". It's one of the peculiarities of narrative tenses.

[@xChikyx]

@@alexengland-shinemercy thanks! I thought it was just me 🙌🏻

[@Hello-hello-hello456]

From someone with vivid imagination, yes, all those 3 are different to me. I think it has less to do with visualising it and more to do with breaking down the action in a detailed way.

[@angelbear_og]

In English, the phrase "was walking" ALSO describes something that occurred IN THE PAST: "was" is past-tense. Definition: "first and third person singular past indicative of be". So in third person narrative it is infinitely better to use the *active* verb "walked" than the *passive* "was walking" in probably at least 99% of cases.

[@opchild]

Walking is not the past tense verb in your first example, "was" is, but they are both past tense meaning you can just write the simpler sentence. Lots of readers will have a harder time visualizing the world when you use filter words like "was" instead of just writing what's happened in the story

[@maryhopper7228]

Passive voice can be really useful for creating tension, subtext or being efficient with words, particularly when it leaves out the person doing the action altogether. This can be because we don't know who did something: 'The jewels were stolen sometime before dawn.' Or don't want to say (eg avoiding blame): 'Dad, your favourite mug got broken!' Or we're building suspense: 'The door had been left ajar. Voices were hushed as she called out, "Hello?". Or it's just not necessary to say who did it: 'The house was painted a flat, dismal grey that matched the rain-filled sky.' It's a really powerful tool that we often don't notice we're using, so not always bad or a 'no'. 🙂

[@takebacktheholyland9306]

Yeah I think we're forgetting to emphasize that despite avoiding these techniques, we shouldn't necessarily remove them all together.

[@thethmooteresa]

Absolutely 🎉❤ know the rules, to break them when you want to 😊

[@Katranga]

i've been removing filter words for a years now and it's SUCH an incredible way to strengthen the connection to the character's POV. another tip would be removing "filler" type words like just, really, very, kind of, etc. or whatever kind of common word you use a lot that could be removed for the same meaning, or replaced with a more specific word. i never considered how vocab choice could change the reading speed, that's very cool! also i found your example sentence "he ran across the yard like a soccer player running for the ball" very funny for some reason. thanks for another great video!

[@jenniferressmannwriter]

I often try to remove very and really and I just can't!

[@rienn8559]

i like using really tho. especially when im writing from the point of view of a young character. i feel like thats closer to how they speak.

[@megbennett107]

Can you give some examples of removing filter words from first person POV? Please :) I struggle with just changing "I" to "my"

[@Katranga]

​@@megbennett107 filter words are extra verbs like thinks/wonders/sees/looks/feels etc that add an extra layer between what the character is experiencing, making it feel less immediate to the reader. ex. "I see him walk outside." without filter words, it's "He walks outside." or "I hear music playing" turns into "Music fills the room." or instead of "I think that my mom's gonna be mad if I'm late." you can write "My mom's gonna be mad if I'm late." or even better "My mom's gonna kill me if I'm late again." a lot of the time, we don't need to be told that the character is experiencing a sense or a feeling--just write the experience, without the filter of narration. hope that helps!

[@megbennett107]

@@Katranga thank you so much! So if I understand correctly, filtering refers to more verbs of the senses, so if I said "I stood on the sidewalk" I wouldn't necessarily need to filter it to "The sidewalk was under me"? I have a habit of changing "I" to "my" when I try to filter, but is filtering used for sentences with actions in them too or mostly just feelings/senses? Thank you, Kat!!!

[@juliegolick]

Why have I never heard of Hemmingway Editor before?! This is gold! Thanks for the recommendation, and for all your tips! They're things that I (generally) knew already, but sometimes forget in the heat of writing. Definitely a great guide for what should be on a sentence-level "cheat sheet" for an editing pass.

[@EVETSTAOLS]

Also check out Grammarly and Pro-Writing Aid. All three are very good on-line editing apps, which come with free versions. I use all of them at times, for different 'looks'.

[@deniseperez-flores3693]

I’ve never heard of it either. Going to check it out now.

[@unicornthemfatale]

I truly appreciate how clear your examples are. A lot of writing advice doesn't come with clear examples or information on how to improve specifically, but your advice is fantastic!

[@The0ldBat]

I follow most of these tips already, but I've never considered my use of -ing words. A glance at the first few pages of my latest story, made me realize I can do better. Thank you, Ellen! A great video with excellent examples as always.

[@Kohi_of_Greed]

This is, without a doubt, the best writing tips video I've seen so far. I've seen dozens, perhaps hundreds at this point. And yet, this has proposed a set of simple, common, and fatal issues and mistakes, then presented a coherent explanation and provided fluid examples. Thank you very much!

[@t-helen-price]

Agreed!!!

[@chdurant]

I’am a Peruvian filmmaker and scriptwriter. I have started to write a novel picking up a script of mine. I am going thru hell. You can’t imagen dear Ellen how useful and illustrative your videos are!! I thank you so much!!

[@JohnDlugosz]

21:30 I'd like to add something about Vocabulary that I learned on test readings. Using a term correctly can lead to confusion if the reader doesn't have the same understanding of that word. It's interesting that now it's trivial to look up unfamiliar words immediately, before going on with the next sentence. When I first read the original Sherlock Holmes stories, I wrote down words to look up later. Now, reading on a tablet or e-paper reader, I can point to a word and get a definition (or translation) instantly. This should remove the barrier toward using a higher vocabulary or highly specific terminology, pushing some readers to learn, and not talking down to those already more familiar with the subject.

[@Sylfa]

Yes, and some writers seem to be doing that on purpose, putting one or two rarer words in a chapter instead of using the simpler word that means the same thing. But you really need to be careful about that, I've also seen writers putting in lots of rare words in a chapter, like one or two per sentence. And at that point, you get so pulled out of the story that you feel you might as well read a text book, it'd be both more efficient and enjoyable. I gave up on chapter one of a story for a similar reason, every item mentioned was described by brand name instead of what it was. I'm not a wine connoisseur, nor do I know high fashion, and so on. Having to choose between looking up every new brand or just guessing what is inside a cabinet when it's written as "a Lenox Madeira." It's the same problem but with brand-awareness instead.

[@writerinfact1768]

I usually resort to my dictionaries because the writer used what appears to be the wrong word, according to the context. But maybe it was meant that way, which leads me to read other writers' work instead of patronizing the same would-be author.

[@willelder5865]

Strunk & White. Helped immensely when I started taking my writing seriously. Ellen’s tips are very reminiscent of that book, and I’m glad she’s made it so accessible, and glad to know that book still holds up.

[@cjpreach]

This video would be a great addition to most Jr/Sr High writing classes. Well done, Ellen.

[@dearcali]

This is so helpful as someone who never studied the technicalities of writing before. Thanks so much, these tips are amazing!

[@EllenBrock]

I'm so glad you found the video helpful!

[@crystinapierce6833]

I love the way you explained passive vs active voice. I knew what it meant but it never clicked until now. Now I want to go back to my old works and see if I can make them better using active voice. Your videos are so helpful! Thank you!

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@aesthetic.l]

I have been a Bibliophile since my childhood and to be very honest this was the best decision of my life. I also started writing rather than only reading but at that time KZbin was not that popular so all i wrote was from whatever i learned by reading. Still i got a 8.5 in IELTS. So instead of making excuses we should try to work everything out.❤

[@ulla7378]

I also feel (hehehe), that in case of filtering, removing the "unnecessary" ones can help adding weight to the places where you do want to use "felt", "saw" or "realized" etc because the feeling or realizing was the relevant part. If every other sentence is dotted with the filtering words, then there is no difference.

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@johnathanrhoades7751]

Passive voice has been a struggle for years. A whole editing pass is needed to get that out of my writing…🙃 You can also hit “smelled” and “tasted” with other verbs. “The stench of aged garbage assaulted Jim as he rounded the alley corner” or “the luxurious sweetness of the berry juice coated Joira’s mouth. It lingered. A moment later, but a moment too late, Joira noticed the background bitterness of the arsenic.”

[@Miluriel]

Thank you so much for all your help this year! ⛄️

[@EllenBrock]

You are so welcome! Thank you for your support! It's much appreciated!

[@jomo999]

I never even realised how much filtering I was subconsciously putting into my writing, until I watched this. A real Eureka moment, this will help bigtime with my redrafting, thank you!

[@pamelariomunoz2565]

Thanks for another great video, Ellen! I can already picture myself coming back to re-watch before line editing sessions. :) Your explanation about how vocabulary level influences pacing was especially helpful! Cheers ❤️

[@EllenBrock]

I'm so glad you like the video!

[@sithalo2598]

This is incredibly helpful. Even being a brazilian girl, the best part of these tips are the way they can be fit in any literary context. It's great to reflect about how tiny aspects influence our human thoughts and how can we impact harder in special aspects. ❤

[@Hermit_mouse]

If “disconsolate” is a ninth grade word I’m in big trouble.

[@MartialartzzObsessedGlader]

Yep, same 😃🤧

[@georgiafrancis9059]

It's not, really.....not a word to use.....keep it simple for easier reading....depending upon your story, of course.

[@CreatorEdge]

Mee three bro

[@momentswithesolob]

Same here

[@faithm1728]

Been there dude. Lol. Stay smart and brave

[@UncleElvis69]

I think this is the best video on writing tips I've ever watched! Really helpful and thorough

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching... You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@byzoemay]

Your ability to relay information quickly and straight to the point, while also being super thorough is something I am so thankful for! Thank you for sharing these amazing tips that are most definitely helping so many authors achieve their dreams of writing and publishing one day!!

[@garrett6064]

Thank you for this info. Very helpful. Until I have these memorized, this is my quick reference list. I have full notes describing what to do if I need further guidance. Thought this might help others too. 1) length 2) word size/obscurity 3) tone of words 4) passive, filtered, simile 5) body parts 6) "was x-ing" 7) "started" & other unnecessary words. Examples of filter type words: Thought Knew Saw Felt Wondered Smelled Tasted

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@sarahalbert6833]

Hi Ellen, great to wake up to a new video this morning. I so look forward to them and find your channel is one of the most valuable on KZbin. Merry Christmas 🎄 and take care xx

[@EllenBrock]

Wow, thank you! Merry Christmas!

[@PhoenixCrown]

Thanks Ellen! You do such a good job of 1) giving "best practices" 2) pointing out specific times where exceptions may apply, and 3) acknowledging that the sound and flow of the writing and what the author wants to accomplish trumps all =) Thanks for another informative video!

[@xoieveck9505]

I had no idea that filtering was called filtering XD Thank you so much for explaining this!!! I didn’t understand why my story didn’t sound as immersive. I finally understand that I have to remove the character feeling these things to just having these things exist on their own for the character and reader to feel!!!

[@thehmongoose]

Wow! This is just what I needed to help with my writing. You're a good teacher. Thank you, Ellen.

[@pinkywinky237]

I'm glad you mentioned filtering in this video. I use filtering a lot in my writing, but I never knew there was a name for it! These tips for avoiding filtering were very useful to me! I think we as writers tend to underestimate how smart our readers are! I, personally, find the need to add on those extra words to clarify, but if you think of yourself reading something with fresh eyes, you can infer many things without the add-ons included. Thanks for the video!

[@nimblepixeluk]

I've been following your channel for years, and have to say, your content is GOLD DUST.

[@roadscapehorror-talesofterror]

"Was ing" really resonated with me. I really appreciate your observations. Very revealing and informative. I will heed your advice.

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@charmedprince]

She comes up with a new video when you need her the most! Thank you Ellen for reminding me that I still need to write my novel!!!

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching... You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@Fortu-nate]

Thank you Ellen! Especially for the vivid examples and compromised explanations - great video!

[@jacindaellison3363]

I really love that you use examples when giving tips. I truly enjoyed this video. Thanks a lot!❤

[@orca-enby-ur-enemie8811]

Thank you! Amazing video, thanks for helping all of us!

[@tapanbhowmick8400]

I'm from West Bengal, India. I'm very much enriched. I'd like to thank you from the core of my heart.

[@t0dd000]

Fantastic advice. This must have taken quite some time to put together. I'm going to rewatch and take notes. Thank you for this. We all struggle with most/all of these. My additional advice that really helps me: read other authors who are noted for their outstanding prose. Exposure to greatness elevates your own prose. That being said, be careful not to overstretch (IMHO). Let them inspire you, not take control of your pen. Otherwise, you end up with an unnatural voice. (Point #8 I think.) My other bit would be. Read your work aloud. This is related to the sentence-length advice. Your work has a rhythm and reading it out loud will help identify those issues.

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@JC_Hope]

Terrific video! This really helps as I’ve recently broken through my Writer’s Block.

[@radamrussell]

Two writing/journalism professors influenced me more than the others. My least favorite teacher in college had a rule prohibiting auxiliary verbs: Am, is, are, was and were, being, been, and be, have, has, had, do, does, did, will, would, shall and should, et al. They are so easy to use, and a difficult habit to break. Some are hard to write around, but 99% of the time, they sound better when you do: My least favorite teacher in college relentlessly prohibited auxiliary verbs. The incessant correction stung. I absolutely despised the woman at the time, but she undoubtedly influenced and improved my writing.

[@PabloDeModeOfficial]

I came this video across because I’m watching a lot of video’s about songwriting. Most of these tips are really good for that matter too, especially the “imagery” and “cutting out”. I’m gonna take these tips into consideration. Great video! ❤

[@My52PickUp]

Hemingway Editor is fire. It makes it easy to spot problems. Best $20 ever spent on my writing.

[@emanuelsarbu7070]

I'm trying to better my speaking skills and learned that conversational storytelling is a game changer. Watching your video brought up the mistakes I've been making during practice. Pretty much all of them with the exception of long sentences. In the past I wrote: "As I was enjoying my pina colada the ground beneath me started to shake..." Now: "As I enjoyed my pina colada the ground shook..." Just, soooooo much better :) Thank you.

[@wolfiiu]

passive voice and strong tone words are never something i struggled with, i hardly even had to think about them because they come so naturally, but it literally just hit me that i filter every single thing i write and that’s why it feels so weak. i had no idea. i just think it’s so interesting how everyone struggles with such different little problems :)

[@silas1414]

Fantastic. This is so good. I could listen to these all day. Super helpful.

[@emily-janeschutte805]

Not a writer, but love to read the occasional novel. As a girl in STEM, I love the objectivity and clear instruction here. I hope you know your videos are super entertaing to people like me as well as educational to young writers. Super interesting watch!

[@sophiemsmply4you572]

This was so helpful. Thank you. I am not an author but have to write a lot for my work. I am taking in all your tips to enhance my writing.

[@Yak1312]

Thank you so much Ellen. This is very helpful. I’m in the process of editing my new book. Your video has shown me what mistakes I’ve made and how to fix them. What a life saver.

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@annahcreates]

Every one of your videos is incredibly helpful. Thank you!

[@drmichaelshea]

During the early years of my education, I was embarrassed by my writing, but as I matured and became less sensitive, I learned to read what I had written out loud. That made all the difference, and many errors were avoided.

[@RadioJonophone]

I was embarrassed by my writing at first but later read my writing out loud. By that one act I avoided many errors. - There, that's better. Reduce redundancy and use the active voice.

[@michaelkelly6583]

This was just what I needed. Thank you Ellen.

[@7th_CAV_Trooper]

He started running across the yard, like someone who, across a yard, might run.

[@barbararuiz1525]

I just found your channel and I can’t love it more!!! English is not my mother tongue but, anyway, your tips are incredibly helpful and I enjoy listening to your explanations. Thanks so much!!

[@LoveSaidNo]

Thank you, Ellen! It’s always a joy listening to your explanations and examples and your videos have developed over time and are so exquisite! I‘ll never get tired of your advice. And besides, as one of your patreons, I know you‘re also a wonderful person so again: Thank Thank Thank you!

[@EllenBrock]

You are so welcome. Thanks for your support!

[@MrK.A]

Awesome video. I've been writing for over fifteen years and made a few of these mistakes. Especially the 'started to' and 'began to.' Thanks.

[@winterrenes1249]

This was amazingly helpful as all your teaching videos are, thank you so much! You're the best 🥰

[@EllenBrock]

You're so welcome!

[@Benchmark243]

Thank you. I applied for Ma creative writing and publishing. I got the admission and can't wait to start. Thank you for this informative message.

[@tomlewis4748]

The filtering advice makes sense for 3rd-p stories and those that are more plot-driven. The desire is to move the focus slightly more toward the events and slightly more away from the character's experience and the authorial narrator commentary. I disagree about 'filtering' when it applies to 1st-P and the story is more character-driven. The desire there is to move the focus more toward the character's experience and a bit away from the events themselves. In both situations, the story still gets prime focus, but if we compare 'I saw the tail of a fox sticking out from the brush' with 'The tail of a fox stuck out from the brush', the difference between those two in 1st-P is not at all the same as the difference between them in 3rd-p, as far as the effect they have on the story and the reader experience. 'Rebecca saw …' is a statement from the author/narrator, who does not play a part in the events at all, so removing a filter word in 3rd-p does make a certain amount of sense, as it can help make the author ego much more invisible, which if not invisible, can distract from the story. In 1st-P, the story is about the character's experience, and readers are bonded closer to the protagonist than they are to the story, bc in 1st-P everything is delivered to the reader directly through the protagonist/narrator rather than through the author. So what would be considered 'filter' words there actually help keep the focus where we want it-on the character's experience. 'I saw …' is not an 'authorial intrusion', it is directly shown as an experience the character is having, which is the goal. 'The tail of a fox …' in 1st-P only creates more distance between the reader and the protagonist. And in 1st-P, that is NOT the goal. The takeaway here is that advice regarding 'filter' words differs in whether it will help your story or actually hurt your story, depending on the POV, the balance between character-driven and plot-driven, and how the story is told. The bottom line is that advice on 'filter' words greatly depends, and simply abhorring them isn't always an automatic improvement. It can actually be a detriment to not use these words for certain ways of writing your story. Suggestions and guidelines are fine, but there are no 'rules' that can be applied in a one-size-fits-all fashion to your story. Every single case is an individual judgment call, which applies to all artistic decisions. There are no shortcuts. I feel that this is an important concept for a writer to understand, and to NOT blindly assume that 'filter' words are automatically problematic, bc they ARE not.

[@johnparnham5945]

I have watched this video six times and for me, it's been one of the most important videos That I've watched. I have typed up the principles into a document that guides my editing processing. So, thank you.

[@igamergirl14]

I've never heard of that Hemmingway editor app but I'm absolutely using it now! I'm always scared that I'm using a lot of passive voice or consistent filler words that my brain doesn't notice. I think this will help with a lot of those problems going forward :) Also, I don't think I've ever heard of "filtering" words before but it'll be another thing to keep an eye out for.

[@mementomaria]

I have always loved writing but lately, I’ve felt a bit frustrated with my style and could not quite pin my finger on why it wasn’t resonating with me. I see now that I’ve fallen into a few bad habits and now I can’t wait to edit a few of my recent works. Thank you so much for taking the time to make this video.

[@michaelmclarnon6421]

FYI: As far as sensory info, a pro tip is to use that to cover more than one goal. Of course, everything we write should serve at least one of the following three purposes: world building; development of character; or move the plot along. Since we are bombarded by sensory information all the time (probably millions of them a second) the ones we choose to write about should have some meaning for the character. For example: the tang of damp earth, etc. could become The tang of damp earth and the ferment of damp earth evoked memories of ..... In this case, our writing serves two purposes: world building and character development. Thankis, I hope this is helpful

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@tedpogorzelski1514]

Amazing discussion and points. Thank you for this!

[@soulgalaxywolf1024]

The simile tip and the "was" tip is helpful. I remember in an editing class, my teacher commented on one of my stories and noticed a simile he didn't think needed to be there, but I didn't know why. Also, I'm SO aware of how often I use "was" instead of more active sentences.

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@thenoobalmighty8790]

What was the point of this what was said nooby wolf??

[@nataliaaramos]

Just love this video. From time to time I come here to refresh my memory about those tips! Tks a million!

[@TheAudacityOfHopefulHearts]

I find having the action performed by a body part good for writing sensual moments in my romance/erotica; it's like zooming in with the camera lens in that it's poor to shoot a whole scene that way but being useful for highlighting small touches when you want to, and potentially crucial for building the larger matrix of framing, pacing, and mood.

[@worrellrobinson4332]

Congrats 🎉🎉🎉great examples of showing and not telling. Keep up the amazing work kind regards Mr Robinson...

[@inulovr]

I love all these tips! Though I personally LOVE seeing smilies in books (particularly fantasy, thank you to Sarah J Maas who uses these in excess xD )

[@NonameWriter]

I’m only partway through and this has already been super helpful. Thank you!!

[@aaronhunyady]

Great advice. Hemingway app is a great free tool, but keep in mind its algorithms are low tech. Readability, for instance, uses a formula that doesn't consider vocabulary or sentence structure but instead just number of characters per word and number of words per sentence. It can produce unexpected results. "She was uncomfortable and embarrassed" is scored as Grade 12 but these are all words that most second-graders, if not first-graders, should know. It's good as a rough guide or sanity check, but I've worked with clients who demand the writing stays at X grade level in Hemingway and the results are inferior to what they would be if a more intelligent algorithm were used to score readability.

[@kylefields3951]

26:48 First off, I wanted to say a big thank you for this video cause it very much did help me recontextualise a few things and made me think about my shortcomings, strengths, and my own creative voice. 1. Complex Sentences. I think one thing I can struggle with is the use of flowery language or prose. Sometimes I can get a little more long-winded than I need to while describing certain things. So I have to think about what the situation is, and if more descriptive sentences are even the way to go. 3. Passive Voice. I think you're right about Passive Voice and that most of the time writers want to align themselves more on the side of Active Voice to engage the reader. But there is some benefit to giving Antagonistic characters Passive Voice when using Third Person Omniscient, so as to prime the audience for responses during combat. Though, I'd need to reread my passages to see if I might be giving the reader too much unnecessary and unengaging Passive Voice. 4. Filtering. I could see myself using some Filtering when it's not needed, but I am writing Third Person Omniscient so there is a bit of a degree of having to make sure the audience is attached to what's going on when I switch so often, even during single chapters. But it's a skill I need to develop and make sure I'm not expecting too much of the audience and doing my job to make it easy for them. 9. Simile. I think my biggest writing sin as far just literal words-on-the-page writing is after I do action scenes. I think my action scenes are the best part of my work, but the caveat is that I switch from prose when not in action, to frank, hyper-specific details. After a fight scene is over, I often struggle to make my writing interesting again and do too much: 'He did this.' 'She did that.' kinda stuff. My crutch is using Similes when I catch myself being too frank after action scenes. So I need to hold myself more accountable in this regard. 11. Starting Action. This is probably the only thing I mildly disagree with in the video, but again, I agree more than I don't about the subject. The function of a Starting Action is to prep the audience. "She leaped over the banister, left hand wound back, ready to deliver a Hail Mary haymaker right into his teeth." This being said, if you commit to a Starting Action, you have to understand that as the writer, you now have to either deliver, or deliberately subvert the audience expectation that you set up. "Except no she didn't. Her foot caught on the railing and her teeth took the whooping instead as she faceplanted utterly in front of everyone on the sidewalk." You can do a lot with Starting Action, and if you're actually trying to tell action-focused stories, or stories that have a lot of action in them, you should be willing to play with these concepts. But you don't want to spam them for sure. And using Starting Action at all invariably means there's at least two parts to that writing convention, so part two has to be worth it. Thanks again! This video really did help!

[@muneertariq1456]

Hi Ellen, nice video simple and easy to understand. My question is how to maintain the main theme of the writing, while detailing. The purpose to maintain the reader's attention engaging, and arouse the curiosity. The second one, is how to use new words, and how come we know that our audience is familiar with the usage of those one's? Are there, any tips to build the main theme of the novel, the characters building, and the theme of the novel? Regards SyedTariqMuneerJafry Freelance Content Writer

[@alisonh]

the word "that" is my nemesis. take it from me, it's not *that* important, pun intended. If any one is looking for writing advice, you can probably cut it out a bunch, which, I've found can help make your sentences flow better, and just tidy them up into something more immediate. "that" is good/necessary for somethings, but I find it's helpful to review and be like, "how many that's do I really need in this chapter?" and the answer is usually much less. Lol. happy writing! great video!

[@JohnDlugosz]

BTW, It would be good if you used chapters to easily find a specific point in the video.

[@hanzelhenline6533]

This was extremely helpful! Thanks for keeping it simple and easy to comprehend!

[@garyk.nedrow8302]

The instruction in this video is for amateur writers engaged in writing genre fiction (melodrama) and nonfiction aimed at the mass market. In other words, works written for an eighth grade reading level. If you write for adults with a brain, your thoughts and your sentences will necessarily be more complex and nuanced. Henry James, Charles Dickens, Marcel Proust and William Faulkner (to name only a few) wrote long, complex sentences with multiple dependent clauses and heightened vocabulary for a public conditioned to read polysyllabic prose. Their works appear among the most important novels ever written. But that was then. Such authors would have difficulty being published today. Publishers are in the business of making money, not art, and they publish books today aimed at the barely literate. The sad truth is that the contemporary reading public is conditioned by TV, video games, and the ever lower standards of our public school system to read monosyllables that express simple, often infantile ideas. Therefore, if you are writing for the mass market, the advice in this video is on point. Conversely, if you are writing for educated people, you write to their level of proficiency. Know your audience and write accordingly, but with one eye on your editors demographic.

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@lazarusrize]

Thank you, Ellen. Well done and extremely helpful. Merry Christmas!

[@noteglitch5032]

I am a self taught 15 year old writer. Watching this video made me feel like my w.i.p. is trash! Being a non native speaker naturally means I have a very bad vocabulary, word choice, and other language related stuff. I need help with this mess that I call a story. I struggle with making the narrator not feel bland and writing too much dialogue.

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@TheDarrenH30]

Wow! What a great video. I just threw this on and viewed it as a reader, not a writer, and appreciated the content. Thank you. Great job.

[@mbs.writes]

Do you think you could talk about the “overarching message” of books - the point, the truth or lessons within books. How to figure out what your message is, and maybe examples from you books or others? This is something I’m struggling with and I can’t find a lot of recourses on the topic..

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@REALdavidmiscarriage]

I typed in the text from Adam Nevill into the Hemmingway editor and its all red and yellow... I guess this is just a classic case of "Do as I say don't do as I do"

[@davidmastel5652]

Hi Ellen, I have been a musician and a poet for a long time. I love both of those forms of expression with meter and sometimes rhyme but only if it doesnt get to clumsey! I never liked English as a study form in school, I wasn't an advocate of reading because of childhood disabilities that were not known or studied at that time. I was not a visual learner but audio. I was not an attentive student, if I was not engrossed, ADHD. I was also dislexic to boot. In my 40's I finally learned I could only comprehend writing when going to college on line. When I read the words aloud, I fully grasped the information. I was fully photographic with numbers and math was my natural skill set when I was willing to work at it. I helped both of my daughters through their own struggles in those ways, regrettibly, after high school. You cannot teach what you do not know. My older daughter got her master's and mid stream she conveyed her struggles. Changed everything. Now my reading comprehension is with no audio aids...oh to know and understand. Thanks for all the tips...at some point if I get published and can afford it I would love to contribute to your Patrion site. I already have an editor for my 420,000 words of writing that are teaching of the prophetic from a Scriptural format. Not formed from an opinion, but rather the opening of Scripture to produce it's very own witness. A witness of the same witness, "The double Witness" the things of the prophetic, "Hidden in plain sight." Best regard, Dave yco Thanks for all the tips...at some point if I get published and can afford it I would love to contribute to your P

[@wordcharm2649]

Ellen, any chance you can do a video about negative character arcs? I really love the series you made recently where you went through all the beats in a story, but it seems that this mainly applied a positive arc? So, for example, I'm wondering how the Q2 section where the character struggles because of his lie is different in an arc (flat or negative) where the character believes the truth in Q2. What causes them to stumble in this section if it's not the lie? Thank you.

[@EllenBrock]

I would love to do that. I've had trouble coming up with good examples of negative arcs. Any suggestions? Thanks!

[@wordcharm2649]

@@EllenBrock Yay! I'm so excited. Suggestions below: Disillusionment Arc: Seven (Morgan Freeman's character), Parasite, Sunset Boulevard, The Little Things. Fall Arc: Prisoners, Mystic River, The Talented Mr. Ripley, X-Men First Class. Corruption: The Godfather (probably THE quintessential example), Seven (Brad Pitt's character), I Saw the Devil. Flat Arc: Shawshank Redemption, Paddington, Night Crawler (flat arc with a "bad guy") Other Randomly Assorted Negative Arcs: Joker, Taxi Driver, There Will Be Blood, The Machinist, Double Indemnity, Fight Club, Star Wars, Fargo, Shutter Island, Nocturnal Animals, Requiem for a Dream, The Great Gatsby, Black Swan, Whiplash, Don't Look Now, Rosemary's Baby, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Frailty, Citizen Kane, Gone Girl, American Psycho, The Prestige, Ex Machina, Repulsion. TV Shows with negative Arcs: Breaking Bad, Death Note, Hannibal (NBC) Thank you so much, Ellen. 💕

[@EllenBrock]

Wow, thank you so much! I've seen a lot of these, but it's been a long time. I don't know why I didn't think of Joker! I have to admit, I've seen almost every horror movie ever made, but Prisoners got under my skin in a very unique way. It's been almost a decade though, so maybe I will brave the movie again! Thanks again!

[@wordcharm2649]

@@EllenBrock I love that you're a horror fan! Horror and Psychological Thrillers are my absolute favorite genres. Anything darkly emotional with a dose of abnormal psychology is my drug. And Prisoners is really profound! Reminiscent of Mystic River, but with a better character arc. 🤓

[@EllenBrock]

I am a sucker for abnormal psychology too. Did you watch The Patient? I think you might like it.

[@mikeymo100]

The Hemingway Editor. Thank you for that! This video blew me away. Very well done. Your explanations and examples helped me tremendously.

[@waftsofpetrichor]

I always struggle with avoiding over-description. Could you please make a video on that?

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@Nerodotnet]

This is genuinely the best video I’ve seen. I love the proper examples on screen!

[@JS-xs5hq]

Thank you for these tips. Actually the truth is that contemporary reader comprehension is far less proficient than years ago. Well-written, complex, long sentences were once the writer's norm....as long as the sentence was grammar correct. So no, the problem is not the correctly written long sentence. Proper writing should challenge the reader and force them to engage their own writings skills. When I was a student in the 1960s, we were expected to correctly smith sentences of more than three clauses. The dumbing down of reader comprehension and composition writing, is the result of the American public school system. Fortunately, traditional sentence structure and punctuation are still taught in Europe.

[@archasses]

My writing certainly is ‘challenging’ but my teachers didn’t see that as a good thing- Here in Europe it’s also better to ‘dumb it down’ and the phrase i have heard most often is “Keep it simple”. Arguably I’m a stupid child and I’m not good at writing, but it’s become common to just use the same phrases as everyone else and write short, precise sentences. I have never been thought punctuation? I feel like you’re putting Europe on a pedestal.

[@frydfish4934]

"The old ways" are born on the bones of older ways. Traditions were once untraditional

[@jeremeybeasley5682]

*Grammatically correct. Sincerely an American.

[@nonsenseusername292]

I think that focusing on simplicity is more important than focusing on complexity. If you need that length and complexity to get your point across or evoke a certain feel that‘s one thing. But, I’d rather read something poignant and short than long and drawn out. It’s just exhausting. I read to be moved and enjoy myself, not feel smart.

[@MAORIguy25]

It would depend on the type of story, right? What’s the point of challenging text? A challenging sentence would help to unsettle a reader, or to prompt them to develop their understanding to be able to understand it The risk is… you lose the reader Is that ideal? Given that reading is merely one part of the modern media smorgasbord, complexity on the sentences themselves may be too distracting from having the reader engage with your ideas that, surely you would want all the complexity to go? Some old ideas of complexity and challenge seem to do so more out of novelty and standing out than to enhance the story itself.

[@baileyab47]

wow this all makes a looot of sense.. thank you for being so gentle in the way you conveyed it too.

[@alexandradawson9057]

Just found you - thought this was one of the best easy to understand videos I’ve heard. Looking forward to hearing your others.

[@shahjhanhaider26]

Weather to write in short or longer sentence,the best writing is originality,how one want to write would have been better rather to put formulas,which is aching,don't you know.Write according to your abilities, otherwise there would be always confusions

[@Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM]

🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

[@shahjhanhaider26]

Thank you ❣️

[@ChristiWarner]

This was really helpful! The way you explain things so effortlessly and easy to grasp! Active and passive voice! Wow!