Elliot Knapp - I Live in Ballard

A satirical send-up of my Seattle neighborhood and the people and attitudes found therein. Don't take it too seriously.
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"I Live in Ballard"
from Paraprosdokian! words and music 2012/2013, Elliot Knapp ASCAP
elliotknapp.bandcamp.com/album...
Credits: Elliot Knapp - Larrivée D-03R, Fender Telecaster, Fender Bass VI, Electric Mandolin, glockenspiel, vocal, alto and soprano saxophones, handclaps.
Russ Kleiner - Drums, percussion.
Lyrics:
I've got a coffee, I'm walking my dog
I've got my tattoos and I've got a beard
Let's wave to the people we see every day
They're doing the same things the very same way
I live in Ballard in one of the condo buildings
I'm not from Ballard, but I'm unlikely to leave
I've got a stroller, I've got a nose ring
I've just finished yoga-I'm gluten-free
Don't wave to the people you see every day
Just pull out your phone and look the other way!
You've heard of the universe, well I'm at the center
I'm so successful and interesting, won't guess I'm a renter!
Let's go to the market and show of our scarves
If there's nobody from Belltown, let's go to the bars!
I live in Ballard, in one of the condo buildings
I'm not from Ballard, but just try and make me leave!
I've got another coffee, and I've got two dogs
I've got a mustache, now isn't that weird?
We're sick of the people we see every day
Capitol Hill's not bad but it's so far away!
Who knew the universe had so many centers?
A leased-out utopia where everyone's renters!
A hipster struggling to look old, his timey's timed to compensate
Some trendy young Christians all smoke cigarettes
A gravel lot remains unsold, its value rapidly inflates
The locks tourists who've never seen a boat before
Norwegians who fittingly live to the North
The people of color who mostly live somewhere else
The blue collar workers who soon won't belong
If we get rid of the industry but keep the appearance of being industrial
there's money to be made!
We're developing a perfect place
there's just nowhere to park the cars
If we all pitch in, we'll fill the space
with just a few more restaurants and bars!
I live in Ballard, in one of the condo buildings
I'm not from Ballard, but just try and make me leave!
I'm not from Ballard, but I'll be damned if you can make me leave!