How To Perfectly Be Cold So He REGRETS Everything And Feels Like A Doofus

[@ElliotScottDating]

Guides And Coaching: liinks.co/elliotscott

[@claracruz9066]

Elliot, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for all the help you give women like myself lost in a relationship that's going nowhere. Because of you, I was able to put that guy back in his place, regain my power and hold my value. May God continue to bless you❤

[@krissy_29]

And thoughts on a divorced father who was cheated on and then didn't heal first. He met me. I needs some guidance if you have any.

[@akuasalaam490]

Treat disrespect with absolute disdain and disgust.

[@AyAy-31]

This!

[@SR77736]

Exactly. Despise what rejects or disrespects you.

[@shawnlove4502]

Thisssssss absolutely

[@claracruz9066]

I cut him off completely. I told him to stay away from me. He tried again like if he was testing my boundaries. I reinforced my intention and reiterate that I didn't want to be friends. I closed that door for good. 🙏

[@basicinfo2022]

They only understand action. Good for you. You're not a doormat. You're the prize. Let the best man win. Going no contact is powerful.

[@Antoinette14273]

Well done. You can do better 👍🏼

[@maronhalt1]

You didn’t close the door completely if he can still contact you.

[@claracruz9066]

@@maronhalt1 we wirk together, but he has stayed away frm me.

[@luna84_]

​@@claracruz9066lesson learned, don't date from work..

[@CorporateQueen]

I love no contact. Ive learned to embrace the pain of it. The pain is only there because your brain needs the chemicals... It's only there because the connection is dying. It's fabulous.

[@slayerofsatan1049]

I love no contact and I love detachment. Detachment equals peace and comfort with solitude.

[@mehakverma7043]

@@slayerofsatan1049 solitude = loneliness (for me personally).

[@jessicahitchens6926]

Very easily done especially when you see the Game.

[@wendydaniel1110]

Pick your poison pain in the connection or pain in no contact. Save yourself ❤

[@TinfoilHatGirl]

That's an interesting angle to look at it .

[@MariaLuckyxo]

4:56 I would never say to a guy as closure, "no hard feelings, you're just not into it as much as I am or if you change let me know." If a guy was bread crumbing me, showing low interest and low investment, my attraction would drop. I am the ONE no longer feeling it and him. I would tell my truth and only say, "hey, I'm no longer interested'. He's a man, he can figure the rest out. I would never give him the power by saying 'if you change let me know.' That's really saying, I'm still interested please come back around. If you're interested in someone who doesn't really care about you, makes you feel safe & puts a lot of effort in, that's a self esteem, potential trauma issue on your part. Which you can overcome, independent of him. Work on that rather than a line to make him come back or feel regret.

[@izarawanjiru]

Yes @MariaLuckyxo got no time for explanations 🫡😎

[@meredithbarrett8395]

Amen!!!

[@rileysmiley9585]

When all else fails…take a nap. PLEASE BELIEVE ME.😊

[@va1uefry]

i've been napping so much this heartbreak, to not feel anything

[@iammidia5548]

I think they need a nap 😴 they sound tired 😂

[@winning3329]

Unfortunately men don't have feelings of regret like women do. They might miss you if you benefited them and they were not able to get benefits from their new woman. If he's not begging to be with you then forget him. Don't let an emotional unavailable man keep you from finding the man who will be available for you.

[@HoshPak]

Based on my personal experience, women lack any feelings of regret or a moral compass, given the multiple occasions they tried landing me even though they were STILL in a committed relationship. I despise monkey branching. It's an immediate turn off. And in fact, their partners being clingy and begging to continue the relationship was the driving force to abandon ship.

[@Jaylaa.55]

@@lindyt3942this sounds pretty biased. Not every man is a narcissist and remorse/regret happens to both genders

[@SR77736]

​@@HoshPak those are those women and don't represent all. Should be obvious.

[@meredithbarrett8395]

Yesss!

[@Godintheflesh-uu2lv]

Some men don’t beg the woman they do want to be with. Their ego is too big. They would rather be bitter and hope she comes around while damaging other women in the process.

[@gabbymontoya2085]

One thing about this .. I get so sick and tired of moving on…

[@danielleb1182]

Omg FACTS🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Lisa-th9dg]

Yes, It’s hard to move on, but you are moving on to get one step closer to the right person 💝

[@mehakverma7043]

LITERALLY.

[@bellbell872]

So long as you are not sleeping with them moving on should be very easy

[@SR77736]

It's not hard when they're acting shitty. Better to leave than endure bs

[@creatureofstyle]

Tried this, it didn’t work for me because he has his ex-gf hanging around giving him the emotional validation he would have otherwise gotten from me. It's been almost a year and I think she's sheilded him from really feeling the loss of me. Oh well, can't control other people. I've moved on to a nice guy who doesn't take me for granted and stays in touch every day even when I'm mad at him and pull away. My new guy definitely doesn't want to let me go and that's a really nice feeling ❤

[@sarahko1014]

good for you sis. Keep welcoming changes. I reasonate with this heavily, one thing that helped me heal was when I got my Rose quartz . . I truly recommend

[@_.pixiesworld._0o]

they don’t be happy with the ex either trust me that’s why the ex was the ex in the first place. . Guys don’t want their ex no more they just use it for security because they know they can play wit them. That’s not a win. I never get jealous of the ex because I know that she went through more shit than me and will continue to. The way I see it ex-girlfriend is a captain save a hoe. She saved you from the bullshit. But not him because he will realize that he wasn’t happy with that person anyway so the joke will be on him and unfortunately her.

[@creatureofstyle]

​@@_.pixiesworld._0o Yep, so truuuuue!!!

[@wendydaniel1110]

Everybody in his life is going through his revolving door. You are not special, and neither is everyone else. Rest assure save yourself and move on. ❤

[@THEDANILUCKSSHOW]

❤

[@brittanyb5942]

Never let them see you sweat!

[@socalfriend6985]

Blocked him! Moving on with my fabulous life! 💎🌴🧬❤️

[@wendydaniel1110]

Too old for stupidity. Patience and tolerance reduces considerably especially with age..Fortunately, I can walk off and leave people where I found them. When I shut things down , I shut it down. "My alone feels so good. I'll have you only if you're sweeter than my solitude". ❤❤❤

[@justcommenting5519]

Elliot, been following you for close to 7 years now. Your no bs advices has led me to marrying my husband. Nearly 4 years being married, and he has taken me for granted so many times. Sad to say. We're not currently talking because I had let my boundary known (maybe not in the most gentle way) and he took great offense and havent' talked to me for 3 days now. I come back to your videos to refresh and learn more. Thankfully we'll be going back to visit my family next week in another state, and I'm looking forward to staying with them for a while. Indefinitely, until he comes back to court me again. This is my mindset now (I heven't told him yet). But I'm determined to get my dignity, sanity and happiness back. So yeah, even after so many years and already married, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your videos and your coaching. You're the best! I know you mean it when you say you love us ladies. :)

[@ssmb06]

It sucks so much in the beginning but every day that goes by it gets a little easier. Just gotta know your worth and stand strong 💪🏻

[@kristinej.4182]

Any guy who leaves does NOT deserve a second chance!!! Plenty of fish out there… don’t need a loser who can’t appreciate what he had.

[@janellchavira916]

Even if he doesn't come back its a win...youre saving yourself from future headaches..love your advice. A guys perspective is so awesome

[@yeetyeetskrt5627]

The one that got away has the characteristic that got away in the right time. If you leave in the right time your worth is more clear.

[@user_abcxyzz]

Yup. Leave while you still have dignity 😅

[@yeetyeetskrt5627]

@Dahmer_Jeff Unfortunately, in my case with my ex, I lost all dignity. Learn from it, and now I am with someone who loves me and respects me. Thank you for helping me change my insecure mindset♡

[@Antoinette14273]

Disagree. If he is treating you disrespectfully again after he said he would change it's Bye Bye. NO NEXT CHAPTER. No calling bluffs or games. He is NOT the one. A leopard doesn't change his spots.Say, "Next!!"

[@mehakverma7043]

But like, my logic is that the people I love disrespect me sometimes but I still love them (e.g. my siblings, my parents, my best friend, etc.) So I can't expect to not fight at all with my potential lover.

[@creatureofstyle]

​@@mehakverma7043 Exactly. The world isn't black & white, it's shades of grey. People need to be a little more flexible

[@SR77736]

​@@creatureofstyle they were probably too flexible and learned better. Everyone is entitled to boundaries. It's their life.

[@Sparksflymich]

He might regret it but i Don’t want him anymore 😢😢😢

[@DollHousebeauty01]

I love you Elliott. Not in a girly girl way but just as a thank you. You helped me find my EMPRESS. As sad as this sounds i needed your perspective to understand mens perspective. Thank you genuinely

[@Liz-dragon-street.]

I spoke a guy for four months .. we met on holiday, it was amazing. Spiritual connection. Emotional connection and other connections were amazing ❤ We had many contact afther the holiday and met, also that was so nice fun and peacefull. We planned a date (2day) 2 go 2 a concert. Last few weeks he was a bit more silence but he was extremely busy with his work and his grandmother had a heart attac at a family reunion. I was always peaceful, happy and i gave him (i thought) the right energy. *space* 2day he gave me a spoken message on the watsapp that he can't come 2nite. Busy and and and I am in the train going 2 the concert alone and sleep alone in the hotel. Well off course i am heart broken but... I am strong and a good human so f him. Blocked him right away (dont have socials) only a phone and you tube. I will never speak 2 him again cause in his spoke message he let me know he was on a big fat pedestal and i am the 😮 gnome... I will have a wonderful evening

[@eleonoraivanova-kd2zb]

Take .it.slooooooooooooow next time

[@aspegel5281]

But doesn't leaving it with, "Whenever you change your mind, let me know..." also tell the guy that he still has you?

[@user_abcxyzz]

It's keeping the window open, when the door is shut

[@lak1294]

I don't agree with saying that. Just say: "We're not on the same wavelength" or "Obviously this isn't working out; let's call it quits" or something along those lines. Of course, people can always come back if they really want. 99% of the time, they don't really want to. 😐

[@Speciallay]

He "parked" himself.. So leave him there ;-)

[@luckygirl-ue1jx]

Awesome ❤

[@vernita0216]

Say that sh**!

[@meredithbarrett8395]

I think this advice is genius Elliot, I see the value in being real instead of just playing games. Why not just say to a man, “it seems like your feelings don’t match mine. I would like to see other people so I can explore possibilities of meeting someone who has strong feelings for me and is more on my wavelength.” And simply leave it at that. It doesn’t have to be all “I BLOCK YOU! I DELETE YOU!” because what you are inadvertently saying is “your disinterest in me hurts me so bad, and I care about you so disproportionately than how you care are me, that I’m in tremendous pain… now what I must do is erase you and erase all memories of you from my life!” Why give him that satisfaction. I think it’s way more powerful just to leave HIM on read, heal and start seeing other people. Like you said,Elliot, be indifferent and stop giving an F for real ❤

[@Adelina24244]

He literally doesn’t ever initate after breakup I’m glad he’s gone

[@ilonas7760]

Try doing that on dismissive avoidant. lol I followed through by blocking. And moved on.

[@kaeli1983]

I’m torn. He left me on read a few times, rationalized it by saying he needed space. I was very accommodating, however after the 4th time he left me on read for 5 days, that was my last straw and have done no contact since. People know exactly what they’re doing, while I believe in talking it out (vocalizing) which is what I am working on, I am proud for cutting it off, which is something I would not have done in the beginning!

[@AnimeNewsRadio101]

You two meet or so? Even you did and not push you away. Then I think he is not avoidant, just struggling to keep or not.

[@iammidia5548]

He did it 4 times and on the 5th time for 5 days 😮? He tried that shit ONCE, I said I think u don’t need me!

[@hajji1509]

I love the way you explain - straight! Yes, the difficulty for me is the not knowing, drives me crazy. It's really shitty behaviour to suddenly flip and ghost. I did the same and didn't reach out..until couple of days ago and said how I felt and goodbye therefore, not nasty but in no uncertain terms. I think he's playing games. I've come out of a narcissistic relationship so on guard about that. Not going there again.

[@Ashtarot77]

No contact is not an option as we work together. But I'm not going to be nice any longer. Keeping it strictly business.

[@Learning7796]

What if you love them but broke up w/ him bc you know you deserve better? He’s a good man, but emotionally unavailable and that leads to big time hurt.

[@ladyowl9187]

Same situation over here.

[@jaymeechapman4495]

Same as well. Even more he loves me so much I feel it, he is emotionally insecure. So confused in the contradicting behaviors. Is that handled the same as emotionally unavailable

[@tiafeher7851]

I am so glad I stumbled upon this guy. Absolutely real, common sense advice.

[@misslucky93]

this is facts! I mirror my boyfriend when his kind of weird. I punished him by my absence and show to him I am not afraid to lose him anymore. In order to keep me is treat me damn well.

[@rosiechic5590]

I didn't say anything at all . I went No contact & it's going on 4 months since I have saw or talked to him . Still holding my own ...

[@Sparksflymich]

THIS VIDEO IS EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD AND RELTABLE UGHHH

[@Lifeofcivilrightactivistanetra]

I don't time too blessed... I desire be like me respectful,caring, loving n godly feel man. If not next 🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤

[@Lilia__anna]

It's human nature to take others for granted... 🤣 my "poker face" is unmatched. No contact from me is guaranteed.

[@PR-cv1if]

This is all true and keep in mind he’s trying to explain this advice using universally relatable examples to get the point across. The way this applies on an individual level will vary the strategy but overall it’s similar to what he’s saying in the video.

[@PR-cv1if]

I haven’t done the coaching but if I needed more guidance I definitely would.

[@Sunny-or8bq]

One if your best conversations ever!

[@sunnydayz3577]

You are so good. I believe every single word you say in every video. Love your passion for this. Thank you

[@iad.s.8256]

Same. Agree 💯

[@jeniannicancerian1979]

He was getting kind of stupid near the end so I was calling him out and then all of a sudden things seem to be like they were gonna get back on the good side of the spectrum and then all of a sudden he’s gone. He ghosted my last message so I have since gone silent on him Because I’m done but I still want him to have some sort of regret. He always thinks that I’m gonna run back to him so I really hope that he’s looking at me like wow she didn’t come running this time. I hope I’m doing things correctly. The shitty thing is he lives in my building. So I gotta avoid him physically as well.

[@Sunny-or8bq]

One of your best conversations ever. Common sense at it's finest.

[@danilaroche1156]

Elliott is wildin.

[@NNV337]

Hi Elliot, great video! You explained the dynamics really well. Can you do the same video, but related to Narcissism, bouncing between old & new supply, when they discard and calls the bluff after the supply went no contact ?

[@dianedoud5406]

After no contact for 3 months, i let him back durning Christmas, 4 weeks later he pulled no contact, after nice date, hug goodbye ????

[@T.H-v4h]

This happened to me. He wanted to play you because you played him. That’s why you only take him back if he’s begging and sincere.

[@dianedoud5406]

@@T.H-v4h Sad that happened to us, got me at Holiday time, we had fun, i was light hearted, he did seem to beg, but not sincere i guess.

[@JM-bv2mo]

Omg this is happening to me now. We dated, he said had feels for his ex, 6 months later or 4 months or NC comes back. We’re “friends” for 5 months and I finally tell him I need more. He says he can’t give me that. I just deactivated my socials bc I really really tried. He’s going thru mental health issues and I was always there and wished him Xmas/nye/bday - doesn’t do shit for me. I’m like so sad over the fact I let him take my power. He’ll never find anyone as loving and thoughtful as me ever! I helped this guy with his confidence so he can hit sobriety again. He ends up telling me I can do better even when I’m like I can move closer. What a douchebag

[@dianedoud5406]

@@JM-bv2mo THE HURT! but working on me, daughters taking me out, just to not sit and think so much about him... hang in there, we got to have blessings coming.

[@hanasdrafts]

@@T.H-v4hmakes sense

[@verycherry4459]

If I go no contact and he breaks no contact right away, how long until I respond?

[@kaeli1983]

It’s about context vs. length. He has to apologize and say he made a mistake, he wants to make things work, and he won’t do it again

[@rapunzelred9055]

2-3 days

[@sheila7909]

The longer the better

[@lilcanarygirl5600]

My guy broke up with me just after he said he was certain he wanted to marry me and just felt terrified. He said he needed to heal more from his divorce and has been in therapy and going through an attachment style healing course..somatic healing. He also said he hadn’t been expressing his needs so built resentment and is learning how to communicate them so he can be better in relationship. He never stopped reaching out and doesn’t gestures like brings me flowers when I’m sick and I hot in an accident and he’s letting me drive his car, was at hospital with me holding me. He still physical with me and still says I love you. I’m on holiday and he offered to pick me up from the airport. His actions seem to say he loves me right? But then he barely communicates with me and it’s not loving and attentive..I feel a huge wall. If he messages everyday and keeps doing nice things for me am I supposed to go no contact? How?

[@sssparkle]

That was so valuable ❤

[@perpetualogan-eb8jo]

Brilliant you one of the best

[@dreaming_of_that_mbbs_mbchb]

You can’t do that if you have to see the person though sometimes you can’t just have no contact they see you they work across the next desk you go to university together on the same course and placements - so in that case do you just keep the chat minimum or do you out right just ignored them I can cut people off very easily I’ve disowned two brothers I’ve left relationships where they weren’t there when needed apologised then when the exact same scenario came up and you told them what you need (ie a family member dies) and they weren’t there again - that speaks loudly to me - if they cared they’d be there they’d make you a hot drink they’d hold your hand whilst you cried and even though they can’t change what happened they’d be there because they care enough to make sure you’re ok they don’t abandon you when you need them most I’m the same with contact 1 day fair 4 days (you’re telling me you couldn’t find 1 minute to text in four days have a word if you got time to buy a coffee and stand in line at Starbucks you have time to send me a text) that’s taking the mick once it’s been a week I message hey you ok? If they explain and I say “well you know value communication and id like to think you’d find one minute in a week to message someone you care about I’ll let you off this time but I don’t tolerate that happening often….” And they do it again - they are dead to me and I respect the dead I don’t ever contact them again or reply I’m very good at that. But it’s when it’s in an environment where you can’t just avoid someone because it’s your job or university - that’s difficult because you have to see them In that space - so do you just not speak and when they speak to you what do you do? That’s the question Many people also have partners that are friends with relatives and that’s not easy. How can you assert your value and demonstrate you’re moving on without causing uni/workplace rift?

[@Lauren_22613]

Good advice, but I’d rather be happily single not dealing with someone’s dusty ass son.

[@vx6435]

The guy I was talking to said he wanna focus on himself but still wanted to keep me around and I didn’t like that so I left and stopped talking to him. Then he said I have a feeling you’re not going to wait for me and I asked him do you want me to and he said “I want you to live your life” So what do I do now? We haven’t talked in a week and I’m confused. I really need your advice in this situation.

[@parisvaughn5816]

Sounds like a bunch of bs to me 😂

[@Lisa-th9dg]

I would move on, delete, thank you, next

[@SpiritualWhistleblower]

Move on

[@mehakverma7043]

He's bullshitting you. He's not giving you a straight answer because he doesn't want to commit, but still wants the benefits.

[@creatureofstyle]

Live your life. Date other people. My ex pretty much did the same to me. Told me he wasn't in a place to date me but didn't want to close the door on us I argued with his reasoning and told him I wanted us to stay together while he worked towards his future. He said it's not OK with him that he can't afford to take me out right now and then had the audacity to tell me to start online dating and gave me instructions for what type of guys I should date but told me not to sleep with them (like I even would 🙄). It felt like he wanted other guys to take on the burden of financially entertaining me while he did his thing, but he wanted to keep my body for himself for whenever he decided to come back... gross So I listened to him and signed up for online dating the next day. Two weeks later I met my current boyfriend 😂 He treats me so much better and I feel valued and appreciated now. My ex is a dummy

[@flyandshy00]

I don't understand why women stick to one guy. I'm 7 on a good day and I get 2000 matches in 1 day, you have so many options.

[@caroliner1901]

Also - I noticed the pool of women on the sites I used is a LOT smaller than the men. When I dated the less attractive or shy or whatever type of guys they were struggling to get dates. So if that is the case - why oh why do men mess women around so much? Surely they should be clinging on for life?

[@prettyinpinkpinkie2663]

Nobody’s talking about getting random men, they are talking about someone you actually love. Men are easy, but loving a man is much different

[@user_abcxyzz]

You actually don't have many options. Of those 2k matches you will reject 60 percent based on looks, 20 percent based off of job/lifestyle, 15 percent based off of location or other. You might match 50 percent with the remaining 5 percent but then half of those won't want you after all. The 2.5 percent you communicate with more than once will not likely to lead to much other than a few conversations. Maybe you'll get one actual date out of it where you were Luke warm about it and so back to the drawing board. Just because you have matches and maybe are hit constantly in real life, chances are you are not compatible with most of them.

[@amandaforrester7636]

Because women fall in LOVE. You are looking at it completely differently. We don't want sex or money or things, we love THIS PARTICULAR GUY, and individuals are not interchangeable. Believe me, I wish it was different.

[@flyandshy00]

"falling" without having your logic in mind what creates single mothers. Dating is a mind game - who things right - wins.@@amandaforrester7636

[@melissa3986]

What about dismissive avoidants? I feel like you don’t talk much about that. You automatically seem to say the guys not interested if he ghosts or pulls away.

[@janetteveronica402]

Thank you Elliot, good advice which I need at the moment

[@CCrockergirl]

What if you follow each other on SM? He recently replied to something I sent to him in email it was necessary and my therapist agreed . Well I did not reply back cuz i won’t give him the power back of giving my reply the thumbs up emoji nope … I’m feeling good .. 😅

[@passion8princess261]

Elliott, Great video. Okay you say you have to get him to miss you, so say I got fed up with his BS and did no contact for say 3, 4, 5, 6 months and then ........Poof out of the Blue he sends a text or an email, do I respond or not??

[@CeciledeLuire]

go see what Lucia The Art of Love says on this.

[@PlaywithDaisy]

@@CeciledeLuireshe’s good! Lucia says only respond when he begs to have you back. If he’s not begging, he’s just baiting you and seeing if your hole is available

[@CeciledeLuire]

@@PlaywithDaisy this!

[@Lovergirlstudiio]

@@PlaywithDaisyso if he’s describing how much he misses you, saying happy birthday wishes.. just say what?

[@joyvillafranca4132]

Thanks!

[@tess7798]

I agree with your content! Thanks!

[@Mellie726]

Great advice again!

[@Lifeofcivilrightactivistanetra]

Teach student is aware ❤❤❤

[@Mermaid03_03]

Good balanced advice.

[@SaraMajid-j7h]

I told him.

[@akibabe09]

The reason was: his * friend* who he is not *****,😏😑. He is so obsessed with her. And he lied about it to me. And he was gonna get with ex etc. Lies. So many. I cut him off. Singelville is the best!! Not cacving in, if he comes begging when his 2 relationships goes to heck😊

[@mind.focus.meditationchann4785]

Why even bother with dating seems so unnatural

[@staceyburgos1033]

I choose me.

[@afrintayeba2981]

Thank u...gold🍁

[@KAKTUS_1991Son]

How does he not know what his life was like *before* you though , should be easy to see the difference when you came along lol

[@luzvez]

okay i’m good with no contact but i don’t know want to do or how to handle when he comes back missing me like what are the protocols for that

[@lolaxoxo5836]

😂 love this

[@PlaywithDaisy]

He has to BEG for you back

[@spiritualBaddi]

Should I post this--who gives a sh*t 😂

[@MrsEarth-pf4cr]

❤

[@maritzatorres8332]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ so gorgeous!

[@tauhidthemagnetinspirasi]

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@HeidiLicious]

I just discovered you today. And I’d just like to say THANK YOU. ❤ After 10 years of letting him have his way, HIM running hot and cold on me, I have FINALLY come to terms with the fact that I’ve taught him how to treat me. Taking him back time and time again, with no repercussions. Last Monday, I woke up and snapped tf out of it. I’m done. I told him to stop contacting me, I’ve done everything I could to make it work but he never learned. 2 days ago, I received an email. While in the past I would have IMMEDIATELY responded, I have no want nor need to say a thing to him. He knows why he lost me. He can live with that.