Why Asexuals are LGBTQ+ & belong at Pride.

[@xiav3318]

*We are not trying to force ourself into a group to feel included, we are trying to be considered as a real, legitimate, sexuality. I say it now, and I’ll say it a thousand times more.*

[@faaaa__]

But why do we need to try? that's what I want to know. Why aren't we just welcome without hesitation?

[@teun_snijder8856]

I think it also grows from this overall feel of lgbtq+’s had to fight for their right to have sex, marry and change their ways with whomever and to whatever they want and they feel like asexuals don’t have those same struggles, but the acceptance of some people not being interested in sex and romance is just as important. The heterosexual norm in society, culture and media applies just as much to someone who doesn’t want it and someone who wants it different from that sticky norm.

[@funtheorys136]

One you could make an American revolution with that speech skill but about this we would have been seen and respected if the accepted us fully and because not no one wants to bring us up or arguments start up

[@lindenbug]

Something I’ve always pointed out is that the experience of people who are aro or ace or both DOES actually have a bit in common with the experience of being gay. Like take for example the experience of a young gay boy who feels confused and left out and gets bullied for his lack of attraction to girls. Or for example a lesbian woman getting relentlessly hit on by a guy in a bar and feeling harassed. Both are cases of being something other than what heterosexual society expects. And both are also experienced by aro/ace people.

[@ayoubaswaray1856]

Bitch don't even try that.

[@aroace7913]

@@ayoubaswaray1856 Another gatekeeper.

[@siginotmylastname3969]

@@ayoubaswaray1856 it's a fact though, many ace/aro people grow up wondering if they're gay, lesbian or bi and that's partly because straight people sometimes mistake them for it. I mean it literally happens across the whole community, otherwise there wouldn't be so many transphobes who call others gay for being trans.

[@mxflint1715]

@@ayoubaswaray1856 i've been wondering what my sexuality was for more that five years before landing on the ace label, it's pretty much the same experience as my gay and pan best friends

[@PIKAbrusier]

I think its a little different. Asexuals are definitely oppressed. I can understand and emphasize with that. Its difficult and stressful. But I feel coming out as asexual isn't necessarily going to be as discriminated against as being homosexual or trans. Thats like obvious, but I want it to be clear. I do agree. Asexuals should definitely be apart of the lgbt community. Pride is all about being proud of who you are. To be a connected community and showing judgmental people that we don't care what they think. And that we are proud of who we are. I say this as someone who is mostly asexual. Who felt more comfortable coming out as an asexual then coming out as gay. Since I only date men.

[@amivivi6420]

im not asexual but i totally agree with you. asexual and aromantic definitely belong to the LGBT+ community

[@laur7841]

thanks man, it really means a lot

[@neogreenhillzone]

Thank you!! That really means a lot💛💛

[@tami7992]

Thank you so much for saying so 😭

[@pawified]

I'm asexual and straight but I don't belong to LGBTQ community

[@tami7992]

@@pawified it's okay, no one is forced to, not even the ones who're gay, bi or something like that. It's always your choice if you want to belong to it or not ^-^

[@yuvalbreitgand6082]

As an asexual teen I thank you, you're very relatable

[@debbied0wn3r]

Facts

[@frooosty60]

True, I'm closeted because my dearest father is aphobic, but these are facts

[@debbied0wn3r]

@@frooosty60 When I came out my mom was very supportive but my dad is aphobic to the point where I can't even say the word "asexual" or I will get a lecture but that's my dad for ya

[@tami7992]

I'm too :D

[@redcowcat8705]

Aces should belong to lgbt+ if they want to. Cause lgbt+ is for everyone who isn't straight.

[@Lunarmor]

I'm not going to lie. I cried listening to this because it feels so fucking validating. I don't think I realized how much arguments against aces/aros in pride were starting to slowly affect me.

[@ExceptionalOneStandAlone]

My brother literally called me "stupid" and "dumb" for being asexual

[@FixMeThisTime]

@@ExceptionalOneStandAlone same

[@ExceptionalOneStandAlone]

@@FixMeThisTime It's so dumb

[@FixMeThisTime]

@@ExceptionalOneStandAlone ikr

[@Randomperson-si4bj]

Adi ღ what? I’m surprised there’s even discrimination for not liking to be in a sexual relationship

[@OMGitsSeppie]

Living in a highly sexualised world that is set up for people in relationships to 'succeed' (ie. easier to get a house/mortgage, have children, or at the very least be desperate to have these things), I often feel outcasted and isolated, and I am made to feel that way by people's responses to me and my lack of interest in sex and relationships. It makes me wary of others and often secretive or evasive because I don't want to be made to feel less than, be seen as abnormal/a freak, or told that I just haven't found the right person yet. We live in a society that doesn't represent us in films, TV and literature, or if they do we are again typecasted as freaks and loners. I have had mental health issues connected with my asexuality and sense of isolation, and have internalised ace-phobia. People think there is something wrong with us. There is prejudice against us in the world, and many of the experiences of ace people crossover with queer experiences. Many of us feel unwanted by heteronormative society and the LGBTQ+ community, like no one wants us. We are a marginalised minority and need the protection and support of the LGBTQ+ community, a sense of belonging, a platform to educate and a place to feel PRIDE.

[@faaaa__]

aw :( I see you and accept you. Maybe we're a minority but we're still valid, LGBTQ+ community or not. I wish we had a community of our own because as you said why should we feel unwanted by them? I can't stand that. Maybe I'm just one person but I think my support is just as valid as that of a divided large community. 💔

[@laurel3762]

I feel the same

[@princessthyemis]

I agree. Also *gives hug* this is for you, from one ace to another. 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪💜💜💜💜💜

[@OMGitsSeppie]

@@princessthyemis thank you! Hugs back!

[@chosenuwu]

yeah, it's scary, im scared later on a lot of my wishes to find a partner will fail since im not interested in sex at all . _. but I've learnt to accept it, and ive learnt that we're valid and i hope you never lose sight of that - you are great!

[@popculturewitch2607]

Both are sexual minorities, both misunderstood, discriminated or judged by others, both have to deal with struggles of living in a heteronormative world. Asexuals are not taking anything away from the lgbt or belittling their hardships. We just want to band together to raise awareness about our unique experiences and try to have the rest of the population understand and respect us.

[@NylaTheWolf]

Someone: Asexuals are LGBT. Me: *happiness noises*

[@onetwo1059]

theyre not.

[@darkblue8061]

@@onetwo1059 you're wrong

[@allypan4605]

one two don’t even try that

[@thatcrowkiddraws]

*dances silently in the closet*

[@ExceptionalOneStandAlone]

@@onetwo1059 How?

[@sunmarsh]

If it's about pride, ANYONE can celebrate. Whether you're het, cis, ace or not. If you are being respectful of others within the space it doesn't matter if you're a part of the acronym or not. It's about lifting each other up. Anyone who can't see or understand that needs to press pause and reflect for a second. Why would anyone waste their time spreading any sort of negativity during this month?? Pride is about celebrating everything that is great about us, and that is a party everyone is invited to. xoxoxo Love u Embly.

[@somethingclever8916]

I've see more straight couoles at pride lately. And I never been asked what my orientation was when I came in the gate

[@zekezzekekan2144]

Thank you

[@leafy6021]

YEES ALLIES ARE SO WELCOME TO SPREAD POSITIVITY AND SUPPORT :D

[@faaaa__]

And still I've seen many many post of straight couples being insulted and hated on for trying to take LGBTQ+ spaces and attention just by showing their support.

[@crolzinha]

Today, as I was celebrating pride, someone told me that ace/aros are not a part of the community. And I know we are. But still having someone tell me this personally really hurt. And watching this video really helped me. So thank you!! 💛

[@vibecheckchaos3192]

toothless nightfury you probably misunderstood the whole meaning of this video and lgbtq+

[@justpeache.5274]

toothless nightfury asexuality is a sexual orientation... Our sexual orientation is _none._ We fit in perfectly with LGBTQ+ matters. Love is love. And if you don’t understand that... Then I can’t help you.

[@toothlessnightfury1820]

@@justpeache.5274 No it's a little bit more complicated for me than it is to you, love is love and all this useless poetry crap, you see i'm from the middle east, here nobody cares if you don't want to have sex at all, but if you want to have sex with the NOT opposite sex you get thrown off of a high roof, Asexuality is acceptable, homosexuality is not acceptable here and it never will be, being part of the lgbt exposes us to risk, it will slow down the process of Asexuals coming out for fear of being considered lgbt/lgbt supporters.

[@analogsmiles]

@@toothlessnightfury1820 I feel kind of bad for you. You live in a world where being different is still wrong.

[@toothlessnightfury1820]

@@analogsmiles yeah and it will never change

[@Dragonspeak30]

I like how ace exclusionists ignore the + in LGBT+

[@CeticWales]

Often they ignore the T too, and erase the B if they are in a relationship with the opposite gender.

[@alpacashenanigans3169]

I was so relieved when I discovered the ace spectrum about 2 years ago. I was so confused as to why my brother and my friends started experiencing sexual attraction and stuff because I just found it disgusting and unimportant to my life. When I found out about the ace community I felt welcomed, I would find that my best friend at the time was also ace before converting to full bi sexual. Even then I was happy just to know someone close to me felt the same way during that time. Although I am Asexual Heteromantic Cis, I still feel like I’m apart of LGBT+. Thank you for sharing this video Emi. A year later and your still inspiring me and the rest of the 1% of Aces in the world!

[@nathanbenson2237]

I’m not a very proud person when it comes to my asexuality (I forget which youtuber did a video on it but it was in the same way I’m not proud of my height) which is why I probably won’t go to pride and I didn’t go to my colleges lgbt group because I felt like it was help and I don’t think I need help (plus my parents don’t know so...) but asexuals should be included because we are still a minority sexuality and a lot of people don’t even know what asexuals are.

[@NunnieDoesMinecraft]

Nathan Benson I may be entirely wrong but I'm pretty sure that was an Evan Edinger video x

[@nathanbenson2237]

Harri B oh yeah it is, thanks :)

[@SDayle]

I feel the same: I'm not "proud" of being asexual, but I do believe that asexuality should be considered part of the LGBTQ+ community. Especially since not all asexuals are hetero-romantic (I, myself, am panromantic).

[@nathanbenson2237]

Allen Sickle even heteromantic asexuals should be included in lgbt (I personally am questioning as I have only felt romantic attraction a few times and most have been iffy) as it’s not the ability to love that’s the defining factor, it’s the people.

[@nathanbenson2237]

Allen Sickle first, I like that you put kind in speech marks. Second if someone is transgender and straight they are still LGBTQIA+ so asexuals can be heteroromantic and still be LGBTQIA+. Just as an example to fortify the point.

[@professorrosenstock5026]

I'm Aromantic and very allosexual but sometimes have to fight for my ace friends' right to exist. Its stressful and annoying to have to do so but no one is slandering my friends and getting away with it.

[@Shakattackk]

YES! I WAS SO READY FOR THIS the whole idea that asexual people are just kinda paired with heterosexuality annoys me so much. you can clearly see that people who say that have no idea what asexuality means. how can you be attracted sexually to someone of a different gender if you DON'T FEEL SEXUAL ATTRACTION? it doesn't make sense and i've honestly caught so many people out with that point, it catches people offguard who don't know what shit they're chatting, and have just jumped on a popular argument. i love this video so much, and i hope you go to Pride events dressed as one gigantic asexual pride flag, because you 100% deserve to be there and be in the LGBTQ+ community, but you know that. so keep shoutin it!

[@Embly99]

Shakattack you bet i'm going to be going to pride as one big asexual pride flag 🎉🎉

[@toothlessnightfury1820]

hold on a minute, well I'm a religius asexual and I don't want to be part of the lgbt, and I have no idea who linked us asexuals to lgbt, are you saying that some asexual idiots are pushing towards it?..some asexuals are dying to be part of the lgbt ? wtf why?

[@jasminetonner7409]

@@toothlessnightfury1820 I'm pretty sure it's because they want to be valid. They have all the right to go to pride and people telling them that they are straight or have something wrong with them makes them want to be somewhere where they can belong there.

[@zekezzekekan2144]

I don't think we should be linking groups like this anyway. You wouldn't have to be worried about being lumped in with heterosexual people if we lump people in each other.

[@doukzu]

@@toothlessnightfury1820 well, to get into it without any unnecessary insults, it's part of the entire idea that lgbt+ is, in it's basic form, for people who are not cishet. Asexuals are not cishet. The end. Nobody has to be part of lgbt if they don't want to!

[@slvergle4697]

I also don't like how people say stuff like "in my opinion, I don't think asexuals are oppressed." Like, it's not an opinion? Even though we aren't oppressed on the same level as other queer people, that doesn't mean we aren't oppressed. And it's complete bs to say it's "your opinion." Like, how would you feel if I said something like "in my opinion, heterosexuals are oppressed." One, it's completely untrue. Two, it's not an opinion. It's a fact that heterosexuals are not oppressed!

[@bethanyjames1018]

All you need to be part of the community is to be not cishet. If your gender or sexuality is 'different' - YOU CAN LABEL YOURSELF AS LGBT+. Saying ace/aro people aren't LGBT+ is like saying bisexuals are 'half-straight'. It's stupid. There is no need for this hate among the LGBT+ community, as long as no one's gender or sexuality is bringing harm to others. Keep fighting though it!

[@sibby4754]

Bethany James so I think I’m Asexual but I am romantically hetero, I am also cisgender. So would I be allowed in?

[@kingserpentsea]

@@sibby4754 Indeed you would. Welcome, have some cake.

[@sibby4754]

SleepiTea Ty :D

[@kingserpentsea]

@@sibby4754 My pleasure. Come in our little corner, we have cake, space, and dragons.

[@faaaa__]

@@sibby4754 Do you feel welcome? I'm asking honestly

[@Astronomater]

I was told that if I didn't have sex before I was 15 that I was gay. I was called queer for not dating. I was propositioned by females to "correct" me and was actually raped as a kid due to it. I feel so much of what you said in this video.

[@tami7992]

Reading that makes me sad and angry... angry especially for those thinking we don't face any discrimination at all. I hope your life is better now...

[@JackBarlowStudios]

Aphobes be like: “You’re not discriminated against enough to call yourself queer. Let me do something about that.”

[@i_love_rescue_animals]

I know this video is fairly old, but I still want to chime in. I'm hetero romantic ace. I'm 58 years old and didn't know my asexuality was a "thing" until about 10 years ago - so I would have been 48. 48!! I grew up for the vast majority of my life wondering what was wrong with me and always feeling a bit "left out" when all my girlfriends would be talking about their relationships (and me not really being able to relate). I mean, I did have a few, very short-lived relationships in my teens and 20's - but not wanting to have sex kind of ended them. YEARS ago (when I was 24), I had a girlfriend ask me if I was gay because I never dated anyone. It was very hurtful, even though I was not homophobic. Then much more recently, I told a lesbian friend that I was ace and I said to her, "well, I guess I just came out to you." And she said, "oh, you can't 'come out' as asexual". That was pretty hurtful. Then I told another friend (a year or so later) - who is a straight, female that I was asexual and she was COMPLETELY HORRIFIED. It was like it would have been better to tell her I was a pedophile. Then I got embarrassing questions like have I ever had sex and do I masturbate. FINALLY, I also feel us asexuals are at a distinct disadvantage going through life without a partner (there are very few ace people that have partners in my limited experience - I haven't been able to find a person). I feel my social life (even though I do have friends) is MUCH more limited without a parter. So, all of those things are not to compare with the discrimination that gay or transgender or any of the other categories experience - but it is still something - and I definitely FEEL "queer" - definitely NOT the norm, so I feel I should be included in the LGBTQ+ community. Thanks for your videos. It gives me a feeling of validation! 💞

[@Embly99]

i_love_rescue_animals I still regularly read comments on this! I'm so sorry for some of the horrible comments people have given you when all you did was try to me true to yourself :( You've got ur ace family now and I'm glad you've found comfort in knowing other asexual people feel the same way you do

[@i_love_rescue_animals]

@@Embly99 Thank you!! 💞

[@EllieBerry121]

Love this video so much. We deserve to be here as Aces. We are valid within the community, and we exist. The horror stories that you hear about our identity, does make you feel smaller and wonder whether you do belong in the community as well. Thankyou for being here, you amazing Ace lady! xx

[@onetwo1059]

this is the typical narcissistic entitled bitch who thinks she can elbow her way into places not made for her simply by thinking her being outraged is some sort of power move that everyone else is supposed to be scared of. You being offended has ZERO value for me or every other gay person within the community and every other letter within the group. YOU DO NOT BELONG. LEAVE. You dont share our heritage, we couldnt give less of a flying fuck about you and honestly, go fuck yourself. Do chinese people make videos about how theyre entitled to belong within the black community just because theyre both battling racism? Go make your own fucking asexual garbage parade. The fact that you even had the balls to make this video just shows how toxic you are and how you deserve to be thrown out.

[@jamcat1584]

one two If you didn’t agree with the content of this video then don’t watch it. Asexuals have committed suicide because of oppression. Our sexuality is sometimes considered a mental illness. Tell me, how would you feel if you were an asexual? Not being accepted by heterosexuals or lgbtq+. To be considered sick in the head for not wanting sex. We just want a place to feel accepted. To feel like we belong and we aren’t crazy. We just want a place to be at peace. We aren’t trying to start trouble we’re just trying to feel accepted.

[@jamcat1584]

one two In addition to my points above, some asexuals have been raped to “fix them”. I find this horrible. We honestly just want a place to feel safe.

[@Anonima-bh7ve]

@@onetwo1059 Asexuals have existed and supported the community for a long time. Also, trans person here, I care :)

[@Anonima-bh7ve]

@@jamcat1584 Also when I thought I was ace, a Bi girl defended me from the people who were sexually and verbaly harassing me so I know I'm not the only one (Don't use me as an example of ace people not existing because at the time I was confused, but I've learned about the experiences of Ace people properly enough to understand it's real and the oppression they face besides the one I experienced. Honestly go fuck yourself and learn a thing or two in the way so you don't let any other shitty uneducated opinion come from your mouth again.)

[@ellislove7516]

The thing that ALWAYS annoys me when I tell someone I’m ace is they don’t know what it is and they say does asexual mean you like sex🤦‍♀️ and another thing is once they know your ace they make TONS of sexual references another thing is they think your not a virgin you DONT have to have sex to know your ace the final thing that me and my friend get so annoyed at is because she is Aro she experiences people who think ace and aero are the same thing

[@fandomraccon8775]

This goes for Grey Asexual, Asexual, and Demi. I believe that don’t try and change my mind

[@trcolavi]

Yes, spot on. I at first was ambivalent about celebrating during Pride month because I’ve never been discriminated against because I don’t have sexual attraction but no, hell yeah, we are different and looked down upon as strange and abnormal. I for years thought I was broken but now know I’m not and that deserves celebrating. Thank. You for you videos, they mean so much to me

[@Anonima-bh7ve]

I don't think I'm aro ace anymore, I'm honestly getting more and more confused over the years. However, when I was certain I was I didn't knew the label or about the LGBT+ community, I just knew I didn't feel anyhting towards anyone and just that was enough for me to be verbaly and sexually harassed on a daily basis. I think there's a lot of nuance to discrimination and that many of us sometimes just think some of the things done to us are normal or grew up in a more tolerant environment. It could even be the case that our invisibility makes it saffer for us because people don't understand what we mean when we talk about our identity or we didn't know we were like this which in return makes us not express how different we are. I'm happy you know you're not broken now and I when I say this I really mean it: You're 100% valid!

[@Kotifilosofi]

Oppression can happen in many cases because of people who oppress as well as people who have been oppressed don't even realize it happens. I feel like aces are in the same blind spot on the society bisexual people were a decade ago and homosexual people were a few decades ago. It makes me hopeful that lately people have started to recognize acephobia. We're moving forward. Slowly, but it's going to happen.

[@annymus4502]

Oh! Hi there again

[@Kotifilosofi]

@@annymus4502 oh hi 👋😁

[@shuusugar6299]

Although I appreciate this video, I have just decided to stop identifying myself with the LGBT community. I am just going to keep to myself, as I don't want to fight over the topic of my sexuality any longer. I only wish that there were asexual meetups that weren't so few and far in between!

[@Anonima-bh7ve]

That's really unfortunate, I hope despite all of this, you still valid because it's true!

[@princessthyemis]

I wish there were meetups, too!

[@wa11ie]

One year went apart and people are still saying the same shit. I had so many headaches during this pride month because I tried to convince people why aces are lgbt. Now I decided they aren't worth my time. It's only a question of definitions and these are a mess. Aces may didn't expirienced systematic oppression and maybe they grew up and came out in a tolerant social environment, so they never experienced oppression. And that's very good because who wants to experience oppression? People who want this need attention. But this is not the point. Maybe the lgbtq+ community was found to fight for their rights. But during the years it became so much more. Shouldn't the lgbtq+ community, a community of people who experienced so much hate and oppression welcome people with open arms? Exclusonists kind of destroy the tolerance in the lgbtq+ community. Why should we reject anyone when we got rejected and looked for a safe place and found exactly this safe place in the lgbtq+ community? This makes no sense. Did any ace ever hurt anyone being lgbtq+? Shouldn't we provide a safe space for everyone where thy can be who they are, especially when they can't do it anywhere else?

[@princessthyemis]

So well said!!!!!!!👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💜💜💜💜🍪🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@sweetiedreams3158]

Thank you so much, I needed this

[@tami7992]

Thank you, I needed this...

[@kroganpopy9206]

#ACEPRIDE

[@ericdary8421]

I went to a pride in Pittsburgh and got a group hug from a bunch of bears. I’m calling it a mauling.

[@Anonymous_hipp0]

Some person : The A in LGBTQIA+ stands for Ally’s Aces: BiSH WHerE ???!! 👁👄👁

[@corneliareichmann8420]

Yesss to all of this!!!! I agree soooo much. The reason I consider myself as part of the LGBTQ Community: I went through that same period of confusion and realizing im not straight as all LGBTQ people do. I think this is something that everyone in the community can relate to. First, realizing that you’re not straight/cis, then hiding your identity and then (hopefully) coming out and finding pride in it. I think this is something that most ace people (even the heteroromantic ones) can relate to... At least that’s been my experience. So when other people say that we are not “queer enough” or whatever, they are kind of invalidating that whole experience. In terms of who is oppressed and who isn’t, everyone experiences oppression in different ways. Gay cis men don’t experience the same oppression that trans people do. Binary trans people don’t experience the same type of oppression that non binary trans people do. Yet, they are all seen as part of the community. So to say that ace people should be excluded because we are not as oppressed makes no sense at all. Thank you so much for this video and for your whole channel💜

[@onetwo1059]

this is the typical narcissistic entitled bitch who thinks she can elbow her way into places not made for her simply by thinking her being outraged is some sort of power move that everyone else is supposed to be scared of. You being offended has ZERO value for me or every other gay person within the community and every other letter within the group. YOU DO NOT BELONG. LEAVE. You dont share our heritage, we couldnt give less of a flying fuck about you and honestly, go fuck yourself. Do chinese people make videos about how theyre entitled to belong within the black community just because theyre both battling racism? Go make your own fucking asexual garbage parade. The fact that you even had the balls to make this video just shows how toxic you are and how you deserve to be thrown out.

[@Anonima-bh7ve]

@@onetwo1059 OMG now I just noticed you've ben copy pasting this message huh? You know what that feels like? Someone trying to get a reaction of as many people as possible and feeling great by knowing they'll probably ruin lots of people's days. Good job! Asshole

[@Anonima-bh7ve]

Don't listen to one two. Trans person here, and I think you're valid! This person is trying to spread hate and is obviously trolling. I also have met other LGBT+ people irl and no one ever thought otherwise. Be you, and most importantly, be proud!

[@Potatocrime24-7]

@@onetwo1059 I know a fucking troll when I see one bitch.

[@arienyah]

thank you so much for this video. this was exactly what I needed to hear. Just recently I came to terms with being asexual and aromantic. I had this massive crisis about how to tell my family, that I wont have kids or bring home a partner (my mom will be so upset for me because she thinks I'm missing out). And then I thought that I am so lucky to have the LGBTQ+ community to talk to if I can't talk to my family. Only to find out that I'm not as welcome as I thought I would be...

[@JessicasAnimalFriends]

Was reading all about this on Twitter and I agree that asexuals belong in the community, but it’s a very heated topic

[@BlackFireLily714]

THANK YOU FOR SAYING ALL THE WORDS!!! I've been learning to accept my asexuality recently because of pride month; but alot of this is recognizing how I take my cis-white male, heterosexual privilege for granted. So thank you for saying if I want, I should be allowed to be part of the LGBT community if I wanted. I still have to learn to seperate myself from the heteronormative lifestyle I grew up with, but I'm people like you are talking about this so people like me and learn th love themselves more, and can know we're not alone. 💛💙💜💚❤

[@N3k0Y0m1]

So true.. You guys are so valid. I'm not ace myself.. But I think you guys deserve compassion, and acceptance like any other person. You are people too you know. :0>

[@aroace7913]

Thanks ^^

[@kroganpopy9206]

I've been called 'dirty little queer' before, but I didn't really give a shit, and he wasn't really serious and just was joking around. I called him 'a drunken French kiwi' after that.

[@pentabump]

As someone who isn't asexual or aromantic, y'all are valid, amazing and belong at pride and in the LGBTQ+ community!

[@AsiaKittyMC]

I truly do appreciate not only this video but all of the videos that you make. They inspire me to be more of an advocate for education about this thing and really do make me feel less lonesome in this world where it's so easy to feel otherwise. Keep it up, love the channel!

[@ShiaN80]

I just saw your video and I am a bit angry...Not with you of course but with all these groups with acronyms that think they have the right to judge and classify other people. As a heteroromantic ace, I was denied this part of my identity (cos it's only a small part of our identity as most asexuals have come to know ) by my family first, and friends secondary, listening to them telling me that something's wrong in my head. For many years I didn't even realise that I was different from others because I always thought that I would have sex with someone that I am attracted to. When I tried, I was not impressed, so life continued as before...The only thing that was strange to me was all this crazy thing about sex, as if the whole world is driven by it. All this LGBTQ++DJF*-GYIR+- groups keep discriminating us just like heterosexuals discriminate us and them because they can't understand the lack of sexual attraction. I got hurt many times by comments but I was lucky enough to not let people mess in my personal life and only recently I found out about asexuality and everything made sense. But I am already a full grown up woman who does not need validation since I am so much more than a piece of meat and sex is something that most of the time makes life very complicated and I don't like that. But I also understand that many people need to be part of a larger community to feel secure and that they belong somewhere, it's their prerogative. What I don't like is that no one respects our life and even gay people treat us as if they are predators, just like straight people.Mind you, I always talk about myself only. but I really do not want to belong to any community that does not understand me. I belong only to the asexual community. All the others can have their parades and their prides and anything that is unimportant to me. I have lived my life (late 30's) without the help of ANYONE through this kind of hardships and I'm not gonna beg anyone to accept me. They don't accept me , I don't care, that simple. What I do or not do in my bed does nor define me as a human being as it does to them... sorry for the long comment .....

[@DefineMorena]

[@winterspectre]

@@onetwo1059 shove off.

[@Anonima-bh7ve]

@@winterspectre One two is copy pasting this message in many comments. It's a troll so don't let them mess with you.

[@Ngativityyybegone]

HI I MET YOU AT LONDON PRIDE, I WAS WEARING MY ACE FLAG AND WATCHING THE PARADE AND YOU RAN UP TO GIVE ME YOUR CARD AND I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU'RE WONDERFUL AND I LOVE YOUR KZbin CHANNEL V V MUCH, YOU'RE SUPER COOL!!! (also apologies for the caps lock, I've had a looooong day at work and I'm v excited XD)

[@2p-blog-thing]

I’m homoromantic asexual. Though I usually refer to myself as a lesbian. Honestly, the two identities net me similar experiences. I’ve got men arguing with me about my identity on either fronts, I risk corrective rape in both instances, and men disregard both identities, assuming I totally want them touching me.

[@jessicab831]

It's so sad that that's happening to so many women who are either lesbian, asexual, or both. Perhaps even aro lesbians go through it too. As an oriented aroace, I just happen to be one of the lucky few who haven't dealt with that crap and I hope I didn't just jinx myself there. Anyways, hopefully that kind of thing isn't happening to you anymore and you're able to find much better people to interact with and who will respect you fully for what/who you are.

[@amandastevens1117]

Heterosexuality is like a line segment with one point connecting to another in a separate plane.I Homosexuality is like a line segment with one point connecting to another in the same plane. Bisexuality is like the midpoint of a segment. Pansexuality is like the center of a circle. Asexuality is like a point floating in a 3D plane. Geometry has taken over my brain.

[@klemmaofthedollars332]

Heyo! From a homosexual aromantic! I consider both of these as equally large parts of my identity.

[@Tomo-es2zo]

Is a homosexual a romantic when you love someone but not sexually?

[@somegirl4631]

"I think Asexuals aren't opressed!" me, a demi demi girl that had the shit be-aten outta her, and had been isolated for being a "emotionless monster that can't love" (ace) for 10 years by her classmates, not to mention was se ually ab sed by them to "fix her": 👁👄👁

[@beetle6859]

im soo tired of soo many ppl making fun n talking shit about asexual ppl!!! it made me very confused! im not sure if im ace or whats going on but thank u so much for this video its very important to talk about this

[@robotsocks4795]

Thank you so much for this video! It makes me feel so accepted and valid and it means a lot :)

[@gabeangel8104]

All this debate on who is included and who isn’t is one of the reasons why I’m increasingly preferring the acronym GSRM (gender, sexual and romantic minorities) as an alternative to LGBT because then nobody can argue that something isn’t part of the community because they don’t have a letter in the acronym - anyone who is not cis het is a minority and therefore included

[@Trickstres]

im an asexual and i found out late in life at literally the first representation i saw (Bojack Horseman) -i was told by my doctor that i wasn't normal -I got a nipple pierced because i was told it increases pleasure and i was trying desperately to enjoy it -having sex felt like someone masturbating using my body, often painful or constricting -My fiance asked me not to tell anyone, because he thought it was embarrassing for him -I've always wanted to date girls but the thought of sex with them is more repellent that the thought of just lying there with a guy -My engagement, and 5 year relationship ended because we couldn't make our sex-life work please continue to tell me that asexuals don't get oppressed and don't need representation

[@thisisaudwy]

9:30 & 13:40 are so bloody accurate ! This is exactly the kind of oppression that makes us belong here. Thank you for this video :)

[@lillyflower_editscuz_why_n2216]

Thank you for saying we belong 😭😭😭 I've been trying to find support but I always find hate saying I don't belong cuz I lack sexual attraction. If that is true does that mean straight is part of the community cuz they have sexual attraction? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also they say cuz we don't get suppressed. BITC- EHEM.... I mean.. If ur telling us we don't belong that's suppression.... So saying we don't get suppressed enough is a lie. We get suppressed to much

[@princessthyemis]

You hit the nail on the head!!!!

[@jackmellor5536]

Asexuals might be suspected of being secretly gay as well. People have thought that about me even though I'm hetro romantic.

[@jaeedinger-vanatta4244]

Thank you. Just... thank you.

[@leafy6021]

i love how all the comments are so sweet and genuine. I see no acephobes and that makes me so happy!!

[@nienkeh301]

We need asexuality to be recognized because there can be no true sexual and romantic freedom if *not* having sex or relationships is not an equally valid option. It's just another form of compulsion

[@JamesHarshaw]

Thanks so much for making this video :)

[@trnrk_]

I’m asexual and aromantic but I also really really want to date the same gender??? It’s not attraction - I’ve never had a crush on any specific person, but I have this huge uncontrolled desire to date the same gender and I’d feel emotionally safer with them. Does anyone else feel this way?

[@tiqqun333]

It happens a lot to me, and im also aro-ace. I dont know if you have the same thing happen to u but i put a lot of effort into my relationships with my friends but its all really platonic. From what ive seen usually that desire to be with someone of the same gender but in a purely platonic way its considered a queer platonic relationship :)

[@trnrk_]

madeofsalt i know what a queerplatonic relationship is, and I wouldn’t mind having one of those either! (: but in my case, I really want romance as well. like I love fantasising about dating women but it’s never about a real woman that exists like a crush or anything. it’s just some random figure my mind makes up. I just really love the idea of dating and I believe I could carry a relationship out some day, it’s just that I’ve never had those feelings towards a specific person that exists right? Idk it’s really complicated eek

[@tiqqun333]

@@trnrk_ Oh i see! Well, sorry if this sounds rude (i dont mean it like that) but have you ever considered that maybe you just to need to find the right girl? Like, you know you like girls (like, the idea of a girl) in a romantic way, its just that you havent had the chance of falling in love with one. But ehh if i think about it, ive had friends that are hopeless romantics in theory but dont seem interested in real people 🤔 maybe youre like that? . Also i dont know how old you are but at the end of the day you can always change your mind and stuff uwu, and your feelings can change, as long as youre happy thats all that matters.

[@annymus4502]

I used to think that way But it was just internalised amatonormativity Now I’m proud to call myself aroace

[@JaysJourney]

When you were talking about not being interested in sex, it cut to an advertisement for Cex. *Appropriate ad placement* 😂👌

[@Embly99]

Jay'sJourney - FtM⚧ oh my god that was unintentional but amazing

[@JaysJourney]

I laughed out loud.

[@sleepyartist6227]

I identity as an inclusionist in the shit show and I agree with alot of your points. The only big problem I have is when ppl are referring to cishet aces they usually are referring to hetroromantic aces or heterosexual aros. Otherwise this is a useful video for an Allo person like me to understand where y'all are coming from

[@CerolianRepublic]

This is my favorite video. Thank you so much for all your research and for making this.

[@ryansmith4963]

If you’re heteroSEXUAL *AND* HeteroROMANTIC, you’re welcome in the community because you belong. If you’re not both, you’re not just “het” You’re valid, you belong, and I love you!

[@flightneedsanupgrade]

I needed to watch this, because you dont know much i question myself due to people saying that we're not coherently lgbt because we dont suffer the same feeling as them.

[@shrek._.175]

Say it for the people in the back

[@goldie3441]

I'm looking forward to the moment, where the world realizes that there are more than 1% of us out there :)

[@faaaa__]

18:53 now that's my case and there's a reason why I don't feel welcome in the LGBT+ community. I've seen, and experience a lot more 'oppression' from that community than from whatever the "normal" opposing side is. And still no one in the asexual spectrum in my 20+ years of life has made me believe that they don't feel this. It is like they just brush it off because they are making efforts to make themselves welcome because they want to and feel like they're alone otherwise. I find that there is a lot of toxicity in the LGBT+ community that even when they say that Aces are part of the community I'm not even sure I want to, because it feels opportunistic more than anything. And it still makes me sad that people put up with the attacks from the majority just because want to be a part of it. The only people who understand and will never judge an Ace person is just another asexual person.

[@kroganpopy9206]

I'm queer as fuck. Anyone who says I'm not, are kidding themselves.

[@tonyas1234]

Very well explained, applause for you for having this video ❤️, but remember,, honestly, the fact asexuals accepted as queer or in lgbt community or not,,, wouldn't reduce your validity as a human or living your life or being happy

[@shirlecemcghee]

As someone who has struggled with myself this is helpful. I can only find information if i seek it. Everything is a spectrum not a box. And i am happy to see i am not alone. Live your life.

[@GibsonRickenbacker]

Everyone should be welcome at pride, straight people included. Exclusivity is the opposite of acceptance.

[@sludgemuffin2447]

@DNW Agreed. So many straight people are just tolerant allies who want to support their LGBT friends.

[@Nightraven-vc5eo]

I've been feeling so confused about this. I feel like some people do accept us in the lgbtq and the other half doesn't. Don't know if I should consider myself a part of the lgbtq

[@leona5167]

praise to you for researching and making this video, I appreciate your effort so much. Your videos mean a lot to me educationally. Thank you very much

[@sylve2474]

Thanm you a lot for making this. I really appreciate it. It's always really nice to see people talk about asexuality, as sometimes I doubt if I really am okay, even though I've done research and everything and I know I'm ace, sometimes it still feels like there's something wrong with me, and seeing videos like this mean a lot and they really help, so thank you.

[@alexq3498]

Thank you addressing this. I was hoping I’d see someone intelligent like you talk about it.

[@alexq3498]

I marched in Pride as an ally before I realized I was asexual. Years later, I started acting and took up the stage name Ally. My family freaked out thinking I was gay, long suspected since I had been so supportive of gay rights, and because they thought it was a girl’s name. I saw it as androgynous the way Alex is. (I only now realize it’s spelled the same as ally. I pronounced it Allie. I didn’t know know the term ally back then. Ally came from an acting coach who accidentally called me that instead of Alex, and it stuck.) Anyway, it was troubling not that my family thought I was gay (they REALLY freaked out); I don’t see anything wrong with being gay, but that my family thought there was something wrong with it if I had been. It reinforced the disconnect I always felt from my family. I don’t care. My family is racist, bigots and jerks. I guess I tell this story as an example of when asexual people can be called derogatory gay terms if they don’t have relationships and they support the LGBTQIA+ community.

[@The1stPurpleCat]

I’d like people who are on either the ace or aro spectrum (or both) to talk to me. Are you sick of being excluded? People keep saying “*GET YOU OWN COMMUNITY*”, so IF we did, what would we all it? Something fun, like “The Whole Deck Community” (The Deck or Whole Deck for short) or something. Don’t get me wrong, we ARE part of the community, but I think if the gatekeeping eventually gets too stupid, what do you think? I’m aceflux and aroflux but also straight. So people don’t really like that because they don’t understand the ace and aro part. And it’s not like I chose to like guys. Although, I might be heteroflux? But it not like people are going to support me trying to figure me out because the community who’s supposed to make me feel safe in questioning these kind of things is telling me I can not be me. It’s frustrating. Thank you for the great video! I will have to reference it for future gatekeepers.

[@stephanieyeshuaislife7236]

I love your purple eyeshadow. You have inspired me to get some of my own ~

[@neogreenhillzone]

We’re not trying to force our way into a community we don’t belong to. You can’t ‘force your way’ into a community that you’ve always been a part of! We’ve always been here! Besides the many studies that have included asexuals under the ‘other’ category (other than straight) and queer groups in the 70s - 80s including asexuals, many asexuals were also under the bisexual community bc they felt the same amount of attraction to everyone (0=0)

[@Dracosfire14]

I apologize for this being off topic, but this is the first time I've heard the notion of being homoromantic without being homosexual. At least, I've never heard it put into those terms. It seems obvious now, I just never noticed. Anyway, I've been questioning myself for a while now, and I find that notion... compelling? Relatable? So, I guess I'd be biromantic but heterosexual. I'm not sure, I still have a lot of work to do to figure myself out. But I've spent a lot of my life pushing away romantic feelings for my guy friends, without being sexually attracted to them. Initially this was religiously motivated bigotry, but I've spent a long time getting over that (my religion and the bigotry that came with it) and only now am I allowing myself to turn that inward. I don't know, it's confusing and I don't really know how to process it. I apologize for my rambling, go ahead and disregard what I've said.

[@lokiawriter8077]

Figuring yourself out can take a long time. It’s okay if you don’t know right away what you are. And even once you figure it out, it can change and that’s okay too. I hope you can find people in your life to help and encourage you. Best of luck to you, darling. 😊

[@alexq3498]

You are right. You are great. You are wonderful. You are a shining star who inspires me.

[@Bongobert]

I‘m not asexual but I still love discourses like this. I think the LGBTQ+ community is about sexual, romantic or gender related deviancy (in a good way) and asexual and aromantic people defenitly count into that, there‘s literally no denying that

[@rosemurphy8026]

Personally i believe everyone should be welcome in lgbt spaces as long as they arent there to disrupt, why gatekeep, id even say that people who are against lgbt should be welcome in lgbt spaces as long as they arent being disruptive

[@ryn2844]

I haven't had the word 'queer' used in a negative sense towards me, but 'weird'? Definitely, a couple of times, from friends and strangers alike.

[@WilliamCorpening]

Happy Pride Month! I'm on a different part of the asexual spectrum -- and I do se it as a spectrum. I do not experience pleasure from the physical act of sex. Otherwise, I'm fairly hetero. I think the general idea of asexuality surrounds itself with the idea of attraction. It is certainly not a matter of attraction for me, it's that sex is a messy, purposeless endeavor for me. I'm semi-closeted, I guess you could say. If you ask me about it, I'll be honest and tell you. Thank you for this video. I hope this broadens the definition of asexuality a bit for everyone. You are valid and you are loved!

[@fruitcxkes9932]

I've only known I'm asexual for just under 2 months, and I'm sick of seeing people say we're not LGBT. I told my mum once that I was asexual, and she just said "you don't know that yet, you're too young". If I did feel sexual attraction, I would have felt it already. Yes, I'm only 14, but I feel strongly that I am asexual. Not once have I ever felt anything that goes along with sexual attraction, and I don't know how it would even feel.

[@soapidie]

Don't lose faith in yourself. Only you know how you feel and identify. Looking back, I knew I was ace when I was 14 and honestly 2 years on I still know I was right. You're braver than me for coming out to your mum, but just because she doesn't believe you, doesn't mean you're wrong.

[@ravewithyou]

I find the argument that ace people are not oppressed like other members of the LGBT+ community to be very weak as the statement itself exercises that same oppression onto ace people. To say that someone is "not oppressed enough" is demonstrating oppression in and of itself, which is sad because Pride Month is supposed to be all about inclusion and support for one another. Not only that but there is so much less information out there about asexuality compared to other sexualities that it is almost invisible. I didn't find out I was ace until this year at age 35 because there just hasn't been much representation in media. Being ridiculed, hated, sneered at, yes, it's horrible; but to be told your identity doesn't exist? That what you know about yourself is WRONG? That hurts just as much.

[@meganjones1750]

I am sis gender, hetro romantic, asesual and don’t really feel part of the community. I haven’t identified this way for that long and have only told a small group of people so I haven’t actually had much experience with the community so this isn’t the fault of the community or people in it for me but just the fact that I don’t feel queer enough. I do want to feel part of the community but don’t feel old enough to want to tell everyone about my identity yet. I am 17, have only figured out I am this identity in the past month or so and have already had so manny times people saying to me maybe you’re just: too young to know yet, have a lack of experience, haven’t found a person you like enough yet, are not yet confident, ready or comfortable enough with your body and its normal to not feel like that is needed yet. I know this is just their view and they don’t fully understand but it feels like they are trying to convince me I am not valid as asexual mostly because of my age I think. When this is brought up I have to say to these people yes I considered this at the start but sometimes you just know. I have not yet been in a serious relationship so I have not had to confront the situation of letting my partner know I am asexual an what that will effect but little nervous for that, dont know what its going to be like. (Can’t remember where I was going with this so I’ll just leave it there) I like this video👍🏼

[@kingoftheduchies752]

i don't even really understand romance or romantic attraction or stuff like that. i still don't see the point of boyfriends or girlfriends or dates or what ever. when i tell people this my reasoning is that why have a date when you can just have friends?

[@zodiaxkyuubi8899]

Sex is not a need for everyone it's a desire. There are still people reproducing and adding to the population, so by not having sex and not being attracted to sex, you're not taking anything away. So, I think those people who go "aaww but you need sex at some point! You can't be in a relationship and not have sex. That's not love." It's like calling rape love. Pressuring people who don't want to have sex to have sex with people who do. It's like pressuring someone to do drugs. Some people won't feel comfortable in their own bodies after an experience they did not want, even if it's someone they care for.

[@jestaplushgal3528]

im ace (not aro) but i never really go to pride, yet i still think it's dumb people think asexual people shouldnt be allowed to go

[@gibbizilla275]

Are demisexual accepted? Tbh I think I’m something else but scard to be anything else

[@magpiem0th]

Yes, everyone is accepted :)

[@somegirl4631]

I'm demi too lol

[@televisaoassassina9822]

Hey, do you have resources on the "ally is for closeted people" claim? It got me into trouble in a leftbook group, hah.

[@ql3xxa]

Before I saw a video that said Asexual(in robot voice):I am broken,error,error

[@ql3xxa]

Crooked Shadow kzbin.info/www/bejne/l4abpJaOer2la9E this one it’s at the end

[@MaelZack]

Ace and aro are closest to been bridge between lgbtq and straight people. In same time being unique. ace are better than Aro in relationships but aro is interesting ones..

[@AD-qq9bk]

I'm 30 and not sure if really I am asexual. I have felt romantic attraction once but never sexual. I didn't even feel the need for physical contact. But I have to say that I have felt oppressed, because when your friends tell you in a regular basis to date someone you don't want to, just because you don't have a relationship and you must have one, what I should call that? I have try to do something with someone because I was certain that I must be like everyone else. The sense was really bad. Agree with you about the lgbt, although personally I don't care to belong somewhere.

[@belle4126]

I’m also atheist as well as aromatic so both would freak my parents the hell out so I bottle it all up

[@leafy6021]

THANKS THIS WAS SO NEEDED :D

[@zekezzekekan2144]

Maybe I'm wrong but shouldn't pride parade be for anyone who wants to go?

[@naeness]

I'm bi and I couldn't seem to understand why aces should be part of the community although I knew it was a valid sexuality, for me it seem so valid that it didn't look like it would carry many problems, I looked for a video about the theme so I could understand better and I believe it worked pretty well.

[@aroace7913]

Good that you learned about us and understand us now better^^.

[@onetwo1059]

@@aroace7913 this is the typical narcissistic entitled bitch who thinks she can elbow her way into places not made for her simply by thinking her being outraged is some sort of power move that everyone else is supposed to be scared of. You being offended has ZERO value for me or every other gay person within the community and every other letter within the group. YOU DO NOT BELONG. LEAVE. You dont share our heritage, we couldnt give less of a flying fuck about you and honestly, go fuck yourself. Do chinese people make videos about how theyre entitled to belong within the black community just because theyre both battling racism? Go make your own fucking asexual garbage parade. The fact that you even had the balls to make this video just shows how toxic you are and how you deserve to be thrown out.

[@aroace7913]

@@onetwo1059 1. Aromantics and Asexuals are part of the LGBT+ 2. I´m trans so be silent.

[@onetwo1059]

@@aroace7913Noone suports your delusions. And The gay community was made for and built by us. Youre not entitled to it. Here, i can make declarative statements as well 1. Aromantics and asexuals are not part of the LGBT community. 2. If they keep insisting that they do and their biggest civil rights struggle is harassing gay people, thats the height of narcissism and privilege and all it does is cause toxicity. Now, why dont you be silent before youre crushed along with your people.

[@aroace7913]

@@onetwo1059 It is called the LGBT+ community and no the gay community so you don´t even have any idea what the community is about and yeah aros and aces are part of it and there is nothing you can do.

[@emilycryder1096]

Not necessarily. Asexuality is a spectrum. You do not have to be devoid of sexuality completely. Like Grays and Demis for example. Like Grays for example what little sexual attraction they feel may be directed at the opposite sex, so they would be hetero, but their orientation would still be Asexual because Gray is an Ace micro label. Same with Demis if it's directed at the opposite sex. So that would make sense. The Asexuality spectrum does not imply a complete lack of sexual attraction for some. It depends where on the spectrum you are and what your micro label is. There is no one right way to be Ace.

[@justpeache.5274]

I’m asexual-and it’s not gay pride month yet-but my parents don’t believe in asexuality so I started to plan out how to sneak out and attend it, but then I realized that I might not be welcomed. Thank you!!