EMDR for Complex PTSD (Does it Help or Hurt?)

EMDR for Complex PTSD (Does it Help or Hurt?) You’ve heard that EMDR for trauma is highly effective, right? Yet you may also have heard that it may not work as well for complex trauma. In this video, Barbara Heffernan, EMDR Approved Consultant, and trauma expert will answer “what is complex PTSD?,” "what is complex trauma?,” and “Can EMDR for complex trauma help?” Further, Barbara will elaborate on some causes of complex trauma, including childhood neglect, and addresses the question of “is childhood neglect trauma?” Does EMDR work? Does EMDR for childhood trauma work? Does EMDR for childhood neglect work? A key element of complex trauma is dissociation. Barbara explains what dissociative symptoms are that go with complex PTSD, as well as the other common symptoms of PTSD, including PTSD avoidance, PTSD intrusive thoughts, alterations in cognitions and mood, and PTSD hypervigilance.
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Disclaimer:
This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via KZbin, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

What are your thoughts - do you think that EMDR could be a beneficial therapy practice if used with the proper precautions?

[@Burevestnik9M730]

I watched a video of a very convincing American CPTSD expert in which she states that for CPTSD 3 Ts are necessary: Talk Time Tiers Is EMDR along those three Ts?

[@dalastpharaoh]

@@Burevestnik9M730 thats was on tedex talk.

[@allywolf9182]

Oh not only did it make it worse for me, it caused me to bury information the authorities needed to help get the rapist.

[@stephgerrard826]

If used with the proper precautions... I would like to say yes, but I don't know for sure. EMDR made things so much worse for me, but also the therapist I had for it didn't do the proper things. I was clueless going into it, but know more now. She never once asked me about a safe place, so that was never orchestrated, and I didn't even know it was a necessity. She never even talked to me about grounding techniques either. And when I was telling her I was starting to slip away (at that time I didn't even know that that was dissociation) she kept saying, "No you're not." She didn't seem to believe me on much of anything. My first session almost lead me to the ER... I was unable to walk with stability for numerous hours to follow (about 10 hours) and I was close to going unresponsive more than once that evening.

[@astoewer06]

How can I tell if my trauma is ptsd complex?

[@corylambert2701]

"Trauma treatment will be very complicated if the environment you're living in is not safe." Herein lies a huge portion of why trauma work is often perceived (either by the patient, or the provider) as "unsuccessful". Because in today's world - June 2022 - we are in a massive housing, political, financial, emotional and societal hellscape that prevents anyone without means from being able to remove themselves from their traumatic/abusive/unhealthy/inconsistent environments. Is it any wonder that so many of us are on the edge? Where does that leave C-PTSD patients who are trying anything and everything to heal, but their living and/or employment situations (which they are forced to experience daily to survive) consistently and constantly erode whatever therapy techniques they may have the privilege to be able to afford every 2-4 weeks?

[@She-Ra-db7eg]

This. Cannot agree more. Also awaiting a response that will likely never come. 40yrs of ongoing trauma and abuse juxtaposed in an unsafe household and unsafe society - if I ever get the help I need honestly it will be a miracle.

[@lanemcook1]

What you're seeing is moral injury, watching the country fall apart, conspiracy theorists running the government and media. It overlaps with PTSD but is separate.

[@wendi2819]

@@She-Ra-db7eg can you possibly find treatment on a sliding pay scale. There really are KZbin videos that help self soothing techniques to help. Gabor Matē is amazing. His book is about how unhealthy the world must be to create so many illnesses. THE MYTH OF NORMAL. Type in Gabor Matē. Knowing we're having universal experiences helps a little.

[@She-Ra-db7eg]

@@wendi2819 thank you I dearly appreciate your comment and advice. Just started listening to KZbin videos today.

[@laylatang6081]

This! I need to know if EMDR is safe for a victim who is trapped in their traumatic environment and cannot leave it. I’m an adoptive parent going on nine years. These children brought trauma into my home from nearly Day One. It’s a taboo topic; people don’t like to acknowledge that a mother can develop C-PTSD from her children. I can’t find much research at all. I’ve done EMDR to help with past traumas they caused when they were younger, but now, my youngest just turned 13 and has been diagnosed with clinical psychosis. He needs to be institutionalized but there’s nowhere to send him. If I leave, that’s criminal child abandonment. Sadly, I’m afraid I’m trapped until he turns 18 or the stress sends me to an early death. My “team” is concerned that doing EMDR now for the active trauma could actually make the C-PTSD worse. There’s not enough case studies or evidence of success because most people don’t seek out trauma therapy until after they’ve removed themselves from the abusive situation. I’m the rare exception and no one seems to know how to help me. Antidepressants and sedatives are a bandaid on a bullet wound.

[@mckenziestanley6252]

I personally have found EMDR to be life changing for me. It really does come down to the therapist and I have found that seeking out a holistic therapist who is really compassionate is my golden ticket.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks for sharing how helpful EMDR has been for you!

[@JuancoPRoFlow]

Thanks for sharing. How did you go about finding the right therapist for emdr?

[@mckenziestanley6252]

JC It honestly came down to comfort for me. After my second session with my new therapist I felt like I could trust her. We didn’t start emdr till two months into talk therapy either. When searching for a therapist, I made sure to only look at therapists who were certified in emdr and on the list of their “expertise” I made sure that matched well with what I knew I was experiencing too. I hope that helps!

[@JuancoPRoFlow]

@@mckenziestanley6252 what state was this in. Thanks it did help.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

@@mckenziestanley6252 so helpful that you have shared this experience!

[@danjacobs8920]

Great video to learn from! I have Complex PTSD. Back in April of 2017, I sought and found a therapist to help me with this condition. I didn't experience EMDR for about 3 months into an intense schedule of 2 visits a week. My therapist believed she could help me at this point through the EMDR process. So she does, and what happened at this point, had my therapist about to call the medics and have me sent to the emergency room. I resisted the session at first but was thrust into a very old memory of an experience while I was 2 years old. I had suppressed this memory for over 50 years. I immediately began to convulse having no control over the effects I was experiencing, and had stopped breathing. I came around after a couple of minutes with my therapist screaming at me - breath Daniel, breath!!! This memory was of me falling through the ice at the lake and drowning. The physical effects experienced were of me drowning and dying. What the therapist couldn't interpret was an experience of hypoxic convulsions from freezing and drowning. It was very traumatic and it was something I would reexperience every day for nearly 6 months. I would be triggered every time I tried to fall asleep. It wasn't until I asked my sister if anything happened to me when were were younger that could explain this behavior. That is when she said - yes, you fell through the ice and drowned. My therapist said at the beginning that therapy would be hard and it would most likely get worse before it gets better. She was spot on with that remark. But having discovered the source on some of my worst PTSD was helpful, and to this day has allowed me to find answers that I would have never come to realize. It scared my therapist to death. Therapist need to be careful because they don't know what "Genie" they are releasing from the bottle.

[@radicalhonesty3628]

what arises in me as I watch this video, is the pain of the hell I'm in: - rage - poverty - shame - old and unaccomplished - perpetually forever single - never had a real friend my whole life - grief - depression - the pain of the past rapes me - the terror of the future paralyzes me with fear

[@irla2543]

There are so few therapists who trully try to understand their clients. Thank you for putting your time into this different aproach 👐

[@TanyaKatherine]

Agreed! 👍🏻

[@thatonebeezy3136]

Just started EMDR a few months back, and it’s worked miracles for me. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but it’s been so worth it. Wishing you all the best on your healing journey! 🙏🏼💖

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks for sharing this - it'll be encouraging for others. And how wonderful that you put in the effort to heal!!

[@MY-eq4jp]

Beezy, how have you been doing? Was your trauma complex? My 30 year old has complex trauma contributing to borderline traits of abandonment fears, extreme mood swings, anger, depression, and dissociation. I need to find something out there to help him.

[@rismoody3906]

Why is it hard?

[@thenobleandmightybeaver4411]

Thank you for posting this video. I have recently started EMDR and I have been fighting the process which is a bit disheartening. I think I need to talk to my therapist about going back and doing more work on stabilization and affect regulation. I present myself as being more together and in control of my feeling and obsessive thinking than I actually am, so my therapist took me at my word and jumped into meat and potatoes before I was ready for the fall out. I acknowledge and recognize this is because I wasn’t upfront about my lack of coping skills (I didn’t really know at the time I was going to be so reactive) and we will need to have a very frank conversation about what is going on in my head. Cheers.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Awesome realizations! Yes, us therapists can sometimes move to fast with those clients who present as if they "have it all together." Excellent to acknowledge this and talk about it. I'd love to know how it goes!

[@dariosergevna]

It’s the same for me…I think it’s fawn and dissociation there. Thank you

[@hannahsmith3013]

How does EMDR work with C-PTSD clients when the main cause is emotional neglect? The memories aren’t overly specific or distressing.

[@TheWackyGal]

This is exactly the question I was hoping to get answered! And it didn't get answered, so I didn't find the video to helpful in that respect.

[@johannavasko]

I've done some of this and we have worked with certain feelings and negative beliefs that are connected to them, not necessarily memories of events

[@kimwarburton8490]

from exp point of view, the same wording was used, when i re-create those sentances, i feel an echo of the emotion. Maybe that'll help I hope the EMDR psychotherapist im hoping to interact with knows -i'll ask it as an 'interview' question when i write the email 2morro :)

[@kimwarburton8490]

@@johannavasko you mean you can attack from finding out your core neg beliefs? unloveable, not enough stuff?

[@johannavasko]

@@kimwarburton8490 yeah and when you think about the beliefs you will feel something in your body as well and you can also concentrate on that feeling. Then some old memories might come to mind when you had that same kind of feeling.

[@ThriveWithLouise]

neglect makes you feel worthless but also extremely fearful and unsafe as a child because you feel like your parents arent there to support you and cant look after you efficientely and if you were in potential danger noone will help you and you cant defend for yourself because youre too young, its very scary so i can imagine ptsd and being on edge can be from that too

[@jclyntoledo]

Yes that would be Complex PTSD not PTSD

[@brendancoughlan3487]

just found your channel on youtube and I am really happy I did.

[@lanasmoore]

Thank you for sharing this detailed information

[@PrepDish]

Very interesting and well researched information! Thanks for sharing.

[@KateMurray]

Love the work that you do Barbara...this so important for families and caregivers and you break it all down so clearly!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you Kate!

[@shelby5577]

I was so glad that I landed on this particular video compared to the others. I am about to start therapy very soon and I have a feeling I am going to be doing for quite a while. I now know I have complex PTSD with most likely disassociation. While watching your video it made me tear up and think of difficult situations which were very traumatic, I also got really anxious and afraid, a pit in my stomach and numb. My session is at 2 pm EST and I am not sure if I should take an ativan? I know this process is going to be long and tough but I think it will change my life for the better. I will continue to pop in and educate myself more and more on this therapy. Thank you again.

[@lorrainekay13]

Very informative, thank you. I was considering it...but I'll pass. I had a therapist push me in to a psychotic break back in the 90's and then drop me because I became "too complex". Just trying to establish a "safe place" would be impossible for me. I really do appreciate your honesty.

[@lorrainekay13]

I guess I should be a little more clear. I'm in my 60's and I'm fine. I've learned how to adjust and live fairly happily alone. I was considering this to see if maybe I could clean up lose ends and be able to not be alone all the time. It doesn't sound like it would work for me.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I'm glad the video was helpful.

[@judypolstra]

Fantastic video. So glad I found you. Looking forward to catching up on your past videos and await future. This is VERY helpful.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So pleased to hear it is helpful!

[@imperialchalice]

Thank you for publishing this ❤️

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You're welcome 😊

[@thechristianmompreneur]

Very informative - thanks

[@tonym995]

Thanks for putting this out there. It's very helpful and I appreciate you for it

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Glad it was helpful!

[@nitinmahajan3017]

Thank you very much. I wanted to understand this better and it has cleared a lot of doubts I had about Complex PTSD.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So happy to hear it was helpful!

[@jackiedenewitt2703]

This is really informative - explained so well! Thanks for the info!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome! I hope it is helpful!

[@DalDhaliwalTV]

Great video Barbara. Really informative. Thank you for sharing. :-)

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome! Thanks for your positive comments!

[@dwmsmay6517]

Thank you, wonderfully explained!!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You're very welcome!

[@samuelcuellar1766]

dunno why but your videos have been the easiest and most informative for me to watch thank you!!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I'm very pleased to hear that. Thanks for letting me know!

[@nancysungyun]

Great video!

[@siiiriously3226]

wow, it's really helpful how you logically lay out the symptoms and definitions, but also make sure to say that it's not our fault... it seems like if I had you as a therapist in my past I would still be in therapy. it's really tough to find a trauma therapist who has any idea about cptsd. thanks for sharing your knowledge!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I'm so pleased this was helpful, and sorry to hear your trouble finding someone qualified. I have a video on finding someone: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ipTCfoGXZ5pqpM0. If you can find someone who has expertise in dissociation, that is helpful for finding someone who understands CPTSD.

[@LuxuryHomesCharlotteNCEMagids]

such an interesting video, and eye opening Barbara...

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you Eli!

[@janethurst1872]

I have been doing EMDR for around 6 months and it has changed my life. My trauma started when I was a little girl and continued till now. My therapist is awesome! I have complex ptsd and body dysmorphia. I see myself so differently now. In the beginning I use to take my trauma outside of her office and cry all day but I have learned to leave my trauma in a box in her office. It is very hard at first to go into that trauma experiencing it again but it gets easier. It is hard work but in the end it is worth it.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thank you for sharing your experience - so helpful for others to hear!! Wishing you health and healing, Barbara

[@amygunn6442]

Thank you for this very informative video. I celebrated 5 years clean from drugs and alcohol. Just the tip of the iceberg! I am learning about how my childhood trauma and neglect is still impacting my progress. Just started looking for a therapist who does EMDR. It's fascinating how our brains work and can be repaired.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Congratulations on 5 years! That is AWESOME. Yes, EMDR can be a very helpful therapy. Wishing you health and healing.

[@lucybrignall8579]

Thank you this was extremely helpful.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So glad!

[@annawilson8235]

Last year my therapist who I had only had two sessions with at the time started full on EMDR therapy with me. I had one session and it has forever changed me. I was at my most vulnerable point at the time after having already done too much trauma therapy on my own too quickly and this one session shattered me. I was totally retraumatised by the experience. I thrown back in to preverbal memories that were so overwhelming I ended up with a terrible increase in symptoms, ie obsessive thoughts and extreme anxiety and hypertension. The whole experience was utterly terrifying and I have regressed so far with my healing. A year on and I am definitely more detached from my self and the world and am constantly outside the window of tolerance. I don't know what to do. I am taking antidepressants now but I feel they just increase my detachment. I am still seeing the therapist that did this to me and am making no progress at all. I will never do EMDR again and I'm sad that this is the case as I know it had the potential to really help me 😔

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Anna: I am so sorry that happened to you. Therapists really do need to do full assessments, particularly around dissociation before they jump into EMDR. There are EMDR therapists who specialize with dissociation and complex PTSD. I wish you healing and health. Barbara

[@nmeh8755]

Can totally relate and have had similar experience, but would also echo what Gabrielle has said, vagus nerve, vagal tone, etc- so important! Getting out of the hyper-vigilant, hyper-anxious state etx

[@nmc1859]

PLEASE find a different therapist!! Wishing you well 💖🙏

[@ShirleyAnnPetrillo-oj7sc]

So Sorry that happened to you! THX so much for Sharing. Prayer up for you.

[@jjpierre2379]

@@BarbaraHeffernan This is happening to me on week three of EMDR and we jumped in on week two without getting the full picture of my life. I am now a mess and I keep going back for EMDR without talk therapy with her first. I think it's making me worse too. I hope you feel better soon.

[@beatrixaschmidt]

Thank you for sharing the information. Very informative

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

You are welcome! I wonder if you encounter a lot of PTSD with your clients... PTSD is sometimes referred to as a sleep disorder because it has such a long lasting impact on sleep.

[@beatrixaschmidt]

@@BarbaraHeffernan Not really with my patients. I am very careful with the initial assessment to make sure that the sleep problem is treated the correct way. Also I don't treat 'sleep disorders' more lifestyle related sleep problems. But PTSD, for sure, can play a major role with sleep problems!

[@katecrawford9966]

My current therapist has just recommended EMDR. This video is so clear- what a great intro!! Thank you so much

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So pleased it was helpful! EMDR can be very effective!

[@Sam-ko3kq]

Another brilliant video

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks! 😊

[@ReneeWilson-ds8mn]

I am a Licensed Clinician and I have had EMDR done for complex trauma. It was so successful for me that I went and got certified in EMDR to help others. I find EMDR to be helpful for so many issues related to trauma. I have see so much progress in client's healing journeys that I am almost exclusively doing EMDR. I am very solution-focused and EMDR stream lines so much healing. If we follow what Barbara Hefferman is suggesting, which is following EMDRIA's suggested protocol, it works. Thank you Barbara.

[@sunmichoi6888]

It was very helpful. Thank you so much

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Glad it was helpful!

[@sasha1641]

Thank you for your video. It was recommended I watch some informative videos on EMDR as I will be starting this healing modality.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I hope the video was helpful! Good luck to you!

[@woyblank751]

Dear Barbara, I am so grateful I found this video. I have been trying to start EMDR with a therapist, but got stuck at the "safe place" exercice, not able to bring myself to feel safe / create the mental space to connect to feelings of safety for over 2 weeks now... After I was instructed to 'try harder', I found that trying so hard made me desperate and miserable, to the point of making my depression much worse, and quickly spiraling down into suicidal thoughts for the past few days. Your video helps me to understand and acknowledge the complexity of my own emotional state, and know there are ways to help recovery from complex PTSD -- and probably, most importantly it also helps to understand the need for self-compassion and patience through the process. Thank you for giving us access to this invaluable information as we have to assume looking for the appropriate type of therapy and professionals on our own and to be our first own caregiver. I look forward to learning more from your channel, and to asking many questions :)

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Woy: I am so pleased this was helpful for you, and so sorry you had that experience. Yes, time, patience, self-compassion...

[@jennw6809]

I hope you're doing ok. This just goes to prove what I always say, "Anything can be weaponized." Instead of saying "try harder," the therapist could have explored why you can't feel safe. Also, safe place is honestly boneheaded. "I don't feel safe, doc!" "Ok, well just imagine you do." And that's step 1? Trauma therapy doesn't get it when it starts with "start by just magically feeling this thing you've never felt before." Go back several steps, please! I like the concept of feeling "safer" or "resourced."

[@le_th_]

Informative video and helpful differential criteria to distinguish PTSD and C-PTSD. Also, there are so many helpful links in the "show notes", as well. Thank you for the time you put into making this content. @Barbara Heffernan Polite suggestion to consider, if you're open to one. Perhaps you can provide a link to a video on what qualifies as self-harm. Not everyone automatically knows what self-harm is, and all the forms it can take. Yet, I also recognize the need to balance that with people who are triggered by certain forms of self-harm being mentioned. This is why I suggested a link. I don't want to list them all here, but I'm frequently surprised that people think self-harm is just one particular physical act. In the last 3-4 months, I've come across 2 different people on KZbin who, during times of mental health breakdowns, cut off large amounts of their hair, only to later regret doing so. One (50-year-old) began wearing hair pieces of various kinds, and after a few months went to get a few hair extensions to help mask what she did until it grows back out and the other lopped off about a foot of her hair, regretted that she reacted, and was able to have a stylist cut in into an ear-length bob until it grew back out. Another had his dentist pull out all his teeth, even the healthy teeth, because he didn't want to have all the dental work and just wanted dentures (age 40, diagnosed with BPD 8-9 years ago before he had all his teeth pulled...also shaves off all his hair when stressed, to the scalp). I've encountered a number of people who don't seem to understand that intentionally having unsafe sex is a form of self-harm or daily consumption of alcohol (several ounces). Another 50+ year-old mother of 3 older adolescents tried to tell me that constantly assessing males around her as viable hook-up partners isn't risky (including hitting on strangers at casinos while intoxicated), and sometimes her drinking is putting her job in danger. What concerned me is that all of these people are over the age of 30. These aren't adolescents whose prefrontal cortexes aren't yet fully wired into the lower brain. These are full-grown adults. One of them is a medical professional (who did get mental health care, thankfully). Another has an undergrad degree in computer science. The other two are very street smart/business smart but have no formal education where they would learn about self-harm in psych classes. The younger generations seem to learn about what self-harm is. However, those aged 30 and over seemed to have missed out on this.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I'm definitely open to your suggestion, and will think about how to approach this!

[@user-js6ch1mf8g]

It made me go backwards in age . But I can't stop I'm in the middle of it and I'll probably always need it.

[@thepairbond]

Thank you for this clear, instructive video. In addition to neglect, it’s crucial to include mentioning and teaching about “emotional neglect.” The work of Jonice Webb and her book, Running on Empty, is very helpful.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Yes, emotional neglect contributes greatly to CPTSD. All neglect is actually emotional neglect, but emotional neglect does not require physical neglect. Hope that made sense! Thanks for the book recommendation

[@monky1122]

Super helpful!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So glad it was helpful!

[@shelby5577]

Hello Barbara, I have severe PTSD on everything that you mentioned above and I am in my late 50's about to start treatment next week. I have to admit I am very scared but I have faith that this will work for me and make my life more liveable than its every been before. When I was told that all my anxiety issues and others were caused by my past events (from childhood and much later on) it literally blew my mind as I had just realized the enormity of it all :( I was recommended to the best of the best with a therapist that has 25 years experience and had years of therapy prior working with children. He is a man that always has his wife beside him who is also in the field which really helps me. Due to Covid my sessions are by Zoom which actually is better for me as in person it would have proved to be difficult. After listening to your video I would have preferred a female but I trust this therapist, I know he will take good care of me plus there isn't a lot of people that do this type of therapy. I've subscribed to your video's as I am sure I will learn more and you are easy and calming to listen to, thank you for doing this video, it really did help.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Terrific that you are willing to embark on this journey. I wish you all the best, health and healing.

[@ElizabethSampson]

Great explanation!

[@to-br7zm]

I love the video, sorry for the complex question

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So pleased it was helpful.

[@mattjones1824]

I've had extreme anxiety for about 4.5 years now. At first it was the fear of everything after a very traumatic event, then it was about people and crowds, not it's solely about traffic, drivethrus and lines. It fluctuates between a couple different phobias. I've finally decided to tackle it head on and have been going to a therapist for about a month now. Our first 5 sessions have been just background, telling her about all the traumas I can think of, all the little things. Honestly it was bad this last week or 2, I kind of relate it to house cleaning thou. When working on the trauma your stirring up dust and bring burned hurt to the top. We did our 1st treatment of EDMR today about safe space, and I just cried, happy and sad tears, I don't cry often so it really felt good. I know this is the most basic level of EDMR but I'm excited to get going. I trust my therapist and tell her everything the exact way I feel it. You can't get better if you don't let your guard down. Hoping this makes the anxiety go away one day and I can live my life better then ever

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Matt: How wonderful that you are doing this work and willing to "go there." And thank you for sharing this - I hope it gives others the courage to really get into therapy, I'm so pleased the safe place resonated with you! EMDR can work very well on phobias. Wishing you all the best! Barbara

[@MM-nh8ez]

Thank you so much for mentioning childhood neglect. It’s an issue that is, uh, neglected.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Agreed.

[@grannyvroomvroom2523]

Thank you for your thoughtful and ill-informed information on EMDR.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Sharon: It might be useful for other listeners to know what you feel was ill-informed. All the best,

[@craigmorton644]

The conditions I have are not because there's something wrong with me, they're because something wrong happened to me..not my response to it. - thanks for giving me additional tools by saying these words.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Yes. SO glad that resonated for you. Wishing you health and healing.

[@kellyford5509]

I’m about to start IFS then EMDR with my therapist. This video was helpful, passed the questionnaire, and I fully trust my therapist. I’ll report findings when I complete it.

[@MY-eq4jp]

Kelly, I would love to know how it goes for you. I truly wish you the best.

[@duey985]

Any update???

[@BSUSwim4Gold]

Great information. Very timely, as I am just starting my search for a new Therapist as mine has just retired. I have CPTSD (childhood traumas) and EMDR has been so incredibly helpful but I know I still have some work to do, on my road to recovery. Thanks for the clear and helpful guidance.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I'm happy to hear the video was helpful. I also have a video on Find an EMDR Therapist - hopefully you saw that as well. All the best to you on this journey of healing!

[@shariegrignon7590]

I love her.

[@freedomwarrior5087]

It made me worse and most therapists don't have a clue about complex ptsd. It's like trying to make an amputee grow their limb back.

[@jclyntoledo]

Omgosh 😭😭 this is my greatest fear with EMDR.

[@jojozepofthejungle2655]

Going on a downward spiral and watching yourself do it, watching yourself push people away, yet having no control over it, just being a dark passenger on a rollercoaster ride from hell.

[@kalistadunham3276]

“what was wrong was what happened to you; not how you responded to it.” hear this and hear it again!! once more for good measure!

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Yes!

[@lisatealson4886]

I am supposed to start EMDR in a couple weeks. I am so very scared that even thinking about EMDR causes some dissociation. I have really bad derealization even thinking about anything between 6 and 16 years old. Just watching this made me start dissociating. I was severely bullied, beat up and a few times even strangled over 10 years at school. My Drs have really been pushing me hard to transfer to an EMDR therapist for the last 1 1/2 years so I finally gave in. Supposedly my PTSD is causing some of my psychotic symptoms also. I am hoping this helps, but I am so very scared and parts of my brain yell at me to not go.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

So sorry to hear all this. If your therapist is experienced with dissociation and complex trauma, this can be really, really helpful. You can work with her to go slow... Wishing you all the best,

[@deniseverheijen4123]

Hii Lisa sad to hear but great that you started. Any updates you like to share?

[@Kate-gt2wo]

I have cPTSD.and EMDR changed my life.

[@user-ky3wo8xn4v]

How long does the treatment last? I know each person and his condition, but in general, how long does the treatment last?

[@Kate-gt2wo]

@@user-ky3wo8xn4v I was hypnotized one time 20 years ago. It changed my life. I've never had a nightmare since.

[@legoDragonfly-1]

I have cptsd with disassociation. And I've found that over the years of therapy ive managed to process a lot of it but there still one situation (medical ptsd situati9n) my brain will not let go of. Hoping to start ptsd therapy for it within the next 2 weeks emdr we will talk about emdr next week so this information is informative so thank you so much. Hoping to find oit of it will help stop the memory loop thing that happens (that memory that repeats over and over and before you know it 2 hours have passed)

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Wishing you all the best!

[@legoDragonfly-1]

Thank you x

[@LissaCollinAbigail]

I would like to know how it worked our for you

[@cassandra6429]

First, I was extremely excited, when I've heard about Havening and EMDR therapies, because they could be self administered. Then I've remembered my skepticism about so popular around 10 years ago, hypnosis to get to repressed memories. At the time, the medical community believed, it was an objective therapeutic method. My objection to it was, that if those memories were repressed, they were repressed for a reason, and there was no guarantee that once exposed, my psychiatrist or psychologist would know what to do with those memories and me.

[@jerryeagle1932]

I personally think it’s the second greatest thing I’ve ever experienced. The first watching the birth of my daughter. It did wonders for my ptsd

[@LissaCollinAbigail]

How did you do that, guided imagery?

[@HansenFT]

@@LissaCollinAbigail I think he was there actually watching it. Hehe

[@Kate-gt2wo]

I remember when i was a kid...getting the routine, telling myself, "It will end...just dont participate". Probably thats when i got Sheila. Probably 8th grade. I was 50 yrs old when i found out i had no memory of 8th grade. Apparently i went to a school id never heard of. EMDR changed my life. I used to get nautious at so many things, sights and sounds. I lost Shiela, and margaret and julian. Sometimes i miss them.

[@Pokegirl1005]

I hope you don't mind if I ask a question. I've been with a psychologist for almost a year now, and I haven't really improved. She went right into EMDR in the third session we had (first was introduction, second was the 'you have PTSD', expanation about what EMDR is, and writing down pieces of my childhood to do EMDR about, and then third session was the EMDR). We've done EMDR on one thing fully (as in three sessions, but the EMDR did nothing really, I just eventually told myself to stop giving an F, and it kinda maybe worked..?) and then we've done a few things for like one or two sessions and she gave up because there wasn't improvement. Recently I had a nightmare, which resulted in my PTSD being a bit worse than it would normally be, so I ended up not being able to shower (I share showers and toilets with roommates). She threw me into flash forward EMDR and asked a weird line of questions that ended up with an incredibly incredibly unpleasant image, one that I know can't happen, and I basically relapsed to an even worse form of myself than even before I started with the psychologist. I've always trusted her, and did so in the moment, but my mind completely stopped working and she turned on her EMDR light and every single part of my subconsciousness was against it. Only after thinking about it afterwards do I understand the situation and I think it was a very very stupid thing to do. My question is, do you think I should find another psychologist? I've lost a lot of trust, and maybe another psychologist would understand better and not force something like that..?

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi: thanks for reaching out with your question, but it is impossible for me to give individual advice via YT or social media. Generally, I'll tell my clients that within 6 months they should feel some improvement... but situations vary drastically. I also think that trusting one's gut is key, and feeling safe in a therapeutic relationship is necessary for work to be done.

[@jadeinder1320]

Hiya everyone, please respect what I say, I had a very neglectful childhood, and abusive and then into my teens I was sexually groomed etc, then I got into an oppressive relationship where I was controlled, abused, oppressed and hit for 6years that turned me into a nervous wreck afterwards, It was to the point of if anyone moved quick I would flinch so much, then I got into another relationship and had a baby and had pre-natal depression and post-natal depression, I am 27 still living the trauma that happened when I was a child. Many thanks jade

[@CreamyBeige]

I had 3 lots of EMDR, which focused on grounding techniques. We then did “brain-spotting”. However, I told my therapist that I was still living at home with my abuser, from the very start, and my tendencies to drink, in order to self-regulate. She was very cautious and careful with me. However, after a brain-spotting session, I felt like I was absolutely having a mental collapse. I had never experienced anything like it. I have cPTSD so i have bad afternoons/days but this literally has gone on for 10 days straight. I actually thought I was going insane. I would definitely NOT recommend EMDR if you are not in a safe environment. The thing is, I was becoming desperate. After trying to move out without success and living with my abuser, my mental health has taken a dive anyway. So I HAD to attempt some form of therapy, as I was so anxious and depressed. But honestly, it is not worth it. Its too much for your mind if you are still living in an environment that feels unsafe. The issue is, I dont see how Im ever going to get better. The narcissist parent I have has severely ruined my health. I cant work because I am very unwell, so I cant move out, so therefore, I am unable to have therapy as Im not “safe”. Therapy seems to only be available for people in the “perfect” circumstances. I’ve actually had therapists say to me “why dont you just move out”? Sometimes it seems like therapy and decent medication is only accessible for people with plenty of money. That being said, I am sincerely happy for everyone who EMDR worked out for. Just be careful if you’re considering EMDR and think your options through. Its not worth having a huge mental set-back. I wish I had found this video earlier.

[@TheWackyGal]

Every time I watch these videos or read online about EMDR I get frustrated. A safe place? Grounding exercises? Emotional regulation techniques? My therapist spent a session doing history taking and then jumped in with EMDR. I've had 4 sessions so far and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I mentioned my anger & anxiety inbetween sessions and she said to 'sit with it' and to journal. Not particularly helpful. She comes highly recommended and my first impressions are good (I am extremely untrusting so I wouldn't say I trust her yet tho), so I'm trying to 'stick with it' but so far I think EMDR for CPTSD sucks.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi: So sorry to hear how hard this has been. I can not in any way give advice or suggestion via YT video or comment. However, I can let you know that it is standard EMDR protocol to make sure a client can access a safe place before moving forward with active processing. I believe I discuss this in the video, If the client can't access a safe place, the protocol is to work on resourcing and emotional regulation. I wish you health and healing, Barbara

[@epylar2]

Counterpoint.. I got a huge amount of improvement with EMDR trauma processing while simultaneously tapering a benzo. EMDR was the only thing that got me out of severe depression at the beginning.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience! So pleased to hear the emdr helped you so much and that you were able to taper the benzo! Wishing you health and healing,

[@ambergaudet4074]

So glad to hear this. The medical trauma that landed me on benzos, and the feat about withdrawal caused by two bad WD experiences before I knew about tapering, are making my taper so much worse bc of anxiety. My talk therapist suggested EMDR or somatic processing and I have a consult today. Did you go slowly? Did you also have CTPSD beforehand?

[@epylar2]

@@ambergaudet4074 very very slowly and yeah extensive complex trauma.

[@parklaan7217]

What is your opinion on doing EMDR by yourself without a therapist, by tapping on your knees for example? I did this and feel like it helped me a lot. The traumatic event I experienced doesn't give me an emotional reaction anymore. Life changing really.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi: How terrific that it helped you so much! I do have a couple of videos on self-administered EMDR: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m3a5iZuGgKx_nJI

[@daniw2967]

Thank you I'm searching for help for my kids and this motivated me to reach out and make the phone calls to find ESMR therapy near me.

[@imjustjules]

I tried EMDR 2 years when I was diagnosed w PTSD. I really disliked my provider. She told me I was hypomanic, needed to take an antidepressant, and that my anxiety was too high for EMDR within our first intake session. All of that was false. I ended up doing it anyway and never had a panic attack or dissociated in a session. The problem was, it made everything worse. I started recalling traumatic memories I repressed as well as memories that I thought were just painful only to realize they had also been processed as trauma. I was having flashbacks and dissociating more than I ever had, so I quit after 8 sessions. As of today, my current therapist diagnosed me with C-PTSD. I’ve been doing really well managing my symptoms, but I’m also between internships, so I have less stressors right now. She’s been really helpful, but we tried processing trauma through a hierarchy, and I started having nightmares with trauma perpetrators. I just don’t seem ready for it for some reason. I know EMDR can be helpful, but I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to try it again.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I'm so sorry your first experience with it was not only not helpful, but it sounds like it made things worse. An extended period of self-regulation tools and trauma-informed CBT with a therapist who understands dissociation and trauma can sometimes be required. Sounds like you have a therapist now who is a much better fit. I truly wish you good luck with the process, I know how painful it can be.

[@imjustjules]

Barbara Heffernan thank you so much! We definitely need more trauma / EMDR specialists. I was on a waitlist for a trauma specialist for 6 months but realized it prob wasn’t a good fit since I’m not ready to process yet. My therapist does trauma informed care, which is exactly what I need. I’m in school for counseling and, when I learned about it, I adopted it as my go to style as well. I like CBT and DBT and enjoy incorporating those but I’ll always be humanistic / person centered at my hub. And that has made a difference in my treatment too :)

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

@@imjustjules Awesome. I often feel that the treatment modalities that we resonate the most with are the best to incorporate into our practice with people!

[@testtest8798]

I got the PTSD from a fatal car crash just over 2 years ago, and went through a similar experience, with my extreme adrenaline and sometimes screaming making effective treatment not possible, and only made it worse LOL. In time I got hyper manic and now I often have extreme disasosiation and am hyper bi polar, its crazy shit. I hope you have better luck with it then I did hahahaha

[@deborahmckeown9148]

Thank you for your helpful videos. Have you found EMDR to be effective for someone with a functional movement disorder/ functional myoclonus and a number of small t's soon after one another? Thank you.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Deborah: I don't have any experience with functional myonclonus. I believe EMDR could help with the "second dart of pain" - not necessarily help with the problem, but with any negative beliefs about yourself or the world that layer on top of it. And EMDR can work very well for small "t's".

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I talk about the second dart of pain in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/p4HRgZubnM5sbpI

[@deborahmckeown9148]

Many thanks Barbara

[@SunsiasLove]

My counselor wants to try this and I’m hoping it helps . I’ve been through all forms of abuse and he’s been trying to help me by using CBT and it helped a lot but then I went through a new trauma and it threw me back to step one . I had to move , lost my family and safe place . I’m still trying to get myself adjusted to the new place

[@Plasmafox]

I cannot find the "safe place" exercise you mentioned in the video on your website. In any case, what if a patient objectively lives in a safe environment, but struggles to feel safe or at home there because of their past?

[@kimwarburton8490]

iv started sitting in my local cemetry each day as iv no garden n dont wanna goto the local park n be 'seen'. I think i will make it my 'safe place' i know noone buried there etc. It'll help re imagination too that way It doesnt have to be a place of the past

[@markojokanovic7921]

This will sound silly but I was struggling with the same problem so one day I was listening the audiobook of Echart Tolle and he said if you want to calm down and ground yourself try to focus on any part of your body where the energy feels safe for example on your feets focus on them long enough and really direct your attention anywhere else where you can feel that calm buzzing even if it's just in your thumbs. This really helped me a lot. Because a lot of times when I'm spaced out and feeling like on edge I do this kind of a quick exercise in no time I manage to ground myself.

[@Plasmafox]

​@@kimwarburton8490 Huh. I hadn't thought of that, but I definitely get it. There is a cemetery nearby, I walk through it sometimes on my way to get groceries. It is a nice, peaceful place, maybe I should spend some time there.

[@LH-kz2nf]

I wish I could sit down and talk with you about what a female friend of mine has and is still going through for the past 8 yrs. I would bet you have never heard of anyone going through what she has been through with her stalker. It's a story so bad you could only imagine it happening in a movie. This person has broken into her home where he beat her for at least 5 hours. He has came back and attempted to break in and destroyed her door he has followed her out of state and harrased her he has attacked her on her job. He attacked her only a month after a TPO was filed and went into effect. The victims advocate dropped the ball as well as the DA, and the prosecutor did, along with the entire counties' sheriff department. She made so many complaints against him, and the majority of them were either dismissed or lost. He served very little jail time, and none was in a federal prison even after being convicted of felony aggravated stalking. She has been through 14 different therapists in the past 3 yrs. They want her to try EMDR but how can that help when the situation is still ongoing. She is never 100% safe unless she is with me, and that's because i carry and would not hesitate to use the rights given to me by the state in which we live. This is not my choice but a position that the local judicial system has put me in.

[@dariosergevna]

Is SE safer than EMDR? If I started feel much worse after 2 sessions, but have opportunities to try SE instead. I tried it online and only “a safe space/things”, so only beginning, not difficult memories, so don’t know if it’s easier on tough memories. I’d like to know what you think about it. There are kinda no videos on negative sides of EMDR

[@juancruzfernandez4699]

Sorry I'm using the translator, I don't know English, I want to ask if by doing emdr you can heal completely from a complex trauma

[@jamygarcia9566]

You state that if a person is using alcohol or drugs, that you need to start there. You can still work on the regulation, other pre emdr types of skills though, right? A person who is using cannabis, alcohol to self regulate has to have a path. Though I love 12 step, I can't imagine the whole disease, me and my ego are always the problem being really helpful in the middle of cptsd...

[@hamish518]

Do you think EMDR can work with CPTSD when there is also an intermittent secondary psychosis? And also, can it help with the insomnia? I basically can't sleep without medication and would love to be able to sleep without meds.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi: I can't possibly give advice via social media. Every situation is very different. Someone very experienced with dissociation and EMDR might be a good person to do a consult with. Wishing you all the best

[@ambergaudet4074]

Benzodiazepine physical dependency is not the same as addiction and a 12-step program isn’t helpful because patients aren’t getting high from prescribed benzos. Would you recommend avoiding EMDR while tapering off of benzos if we’re feeling like our fear is actually holding us back and making our taper more difficult?

[@user-zd3ns6wx7y]

My issue is what I went through as a child and really through adulthood is that I have accepted it and I don’t sit around dwelling. I have the maladaptive side effects that I don’t anticipate ever going away because this has been my life experience for decades. I don’t know any different I do EMDR but I don’t know how to measure any changes because I’m not living on flashbacks and nightmares. Thoughts?

[@tinytina333]

Today in my therapy session I told my therapist that I relate to a lot of the C-PTSD diagnosis, and I feel like she basically does not believe in C-PTSD. That PTSD has sub classifications that I could fit in and we will explore that further, but she said to not hold too tightly on the "C-PTSD" title. I know it's not in DSM, but I see it everywhere now being talked about by psychologists, etc, and she commented on that as if it was a fad classification right now...?. What do you think? Is she right to tell me to not hold on to this title since it's not in DSM and could be classified as just a sub classification of PTSD? Should I look for a new therapist because of this? Thanks!

[@sonjasun6227]

I know it's been a while since you posted this comment, but I gave up on the cptsd idea thinking it was an unproven fad too, only to be surprised that the "trauma clinic" of my town, which is a part of a big hospital, was proposing a group therapy specifically for cptsd. I told my psychiatrist my surprise and he told me that PTSD in the DSM is tightly defined but in clinical reality there's a lot more variations than that. So here you got it, from the mouth of a psychiatrist, it's not in the dsm but it's real & legitimate. Hope you're doing okay on your journey

[@jclyntoledo]

Yeah I told my therapist in the beginning I thought I had complex PTSD but they hadn't heard of it or emotional flashbacks so I had to describe it and they just diagnosed me as PTSD too.

[@hilc6777]

I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2009. In 2022 I was told I fit the criteria for Complex PTSD. I began EMDR in June. I’m still in the middle of working through years of abusive memories. I was beginning to think I’m an EMDR failure because it’s taking so long, and my therapist sometimes has to breakdown memories into segments to process because the entire memory and all it brings up. It can physically and mentally overwhelm me where I will begin to disassociate or shut down. I’ve seen it help with some things, though, and am excited about that. But the worst memories I feel like I checkout or block the processing- like I put up a wall maybe to not go too far. Maybe that makes sense. Am I an EMDR failure? Or is complex trauma over many years really this hard to process?

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Complex trauma takes a very long time to process. It is not uncommon for people to feel like they "checkout". I used to try to have a signal with my clients if that was happening for them, and then we would take a break and ground. I wish you all the best.

[@rmt3589]

7:53 So, getting to an emotionally-safe environment will help me heal? (Ppl tell me a lot yes, but it still seems so impossible that I have a hard time believing it)

[@rmt3589]

4:14 Stop it. You're gonna make me cry!

[@phishcatt]

''Taking benzodiazepines'' perscribed by a doctor for a very specific reason is not the same as ''abusing benzodiazepines'' and shouldn't be in the same list as abusing alcohol and opiates. Unless panic disorder is a contraindication for EMDR, in which case it should be mentioned separately.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I totally agree that taking benzos as prescribed for a specific thing is totally different than abusing them! [Also having one drink once in awhile is totally different than abusing alcohol!] I hope I didn't imply otherwise. Though I am not generally a fan of the benzos because of their long lasting impact if taken too long.... but that is a different topic.

[@mariamkinen8036]

I feel real .Something wrong happened to me.

[@shanasmith6597]

How likely is it that someone could experience a broad spectrum complex PTSD? Where there isn't just one event, but several over a relatively short period of time? And would EMDR still be a potentially benefitial route to recovery?

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Shana: Complex PTSD often arises from multiple traumas. Could be "little t" traumas, just a lot of them over a long period of time, or a handful of major big "t" traumas. Complex PTSD is diagnosed by symptoms more than the specifics that caused it, but those are the most common causes. Yes, EMDR helps, but the therapy is long term.

[@orihimeinoue3608]

I wanna know if I could possibly have CPTSD? I’ve been abused, manipulated by a narcissist and suppressed by authorities. There’re some events, but not specific ones. The manipulation was done subtly, but perfectly trapped me into a horrible situation, and I’ve lost a lot in my life. I have this fear and anger but sort of vague. My heart race and feel anxious when I hear or talk about anything related to my narc ex or what I have lost over it.

[@Maria_9789]

Yes

[@aprilbox3766]

I have the same situation. I have to pick up my grandchild from my narc ex and just thinking about it is traumatizing. I'm taking my boyfriend with me because my ex behaves better with other people around. I left him 7 years ago and haven't spoken to him for about 3 years.

[@jclyntoledo]

Please read the book, Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving by Pete Walker

[@Burevestnik9M730]

What caught my attention is the following: Derealization: feeling the world around you is not real, is a dream, is distant or is distorted. My question is: is a person, who is also a mild autistic with NLD and was under a lot of stress related to studying against his will (which he was not able to properly convey due to his condition) gets a bizarre feeling that his home town is not real but it is a copy, and that his parents are also copies of his true parents, how can one distinguish if this is a delusional disorder (of bizarre type) rather than CPTSD? Of course, CPTSD can be comorbid with the delusional disorder, but the way derealization is described depicts exactly this type of delusion, that what is around is not real. An example of a bizarre (i.e. logically impossible) delusion is Capgras syndrome. Derealization seems to be at the core of both. If derealization is detachment from reality, isn't that a symptom of psychosis?

[@jclyntoledo]

Derealization is part of dissociation and that can exist outside of Complex PTSD. Also it's on a spectrum so not everyone has intense dissociation episodes.

[@cbizzle4299]

Thanks for 4:17

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Sending best wishes for healing and happiness :)

[@fiercenarcopathfighter6453]

So what about prescribed medication for anxiety? Are you saying client has to stop that?

[@paulavalle1168]

I have that question too. I take something for anxiety.

[@Burevestnik9M730]

Also, how to distinguish this from Schizoid Personality Disoder, which is also characterized with distrust?

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

These are very different diagnoses. Professionals are trained extensively in making the differential diagnoses. Not a quick answer for this one!

[@newtuber4freedom43]

Do you have a video on how to tell if the therapist is trustworthy?? Red flags we should look for?? Anything?? Thank you. I want help but i have $$ & trust issues. I had 1 bad egg student counselor experience - i may be dim & it took a while to realize he was horrible, but no one deserves that.

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

In the works...

[@lauranelson1119]

My trauma is based on a prolonged debilitating and ultimately failed discontinuation of a prescribed benzodiazapine, which I very nearly did not survive. I am back on the prescribed benzo, and there is little chance I will ever discontinue. Withdrawing profoundly affected sleep, physical, emotional resilience, mood, anxiety level. I experience all those symptoms still, sometimes almost to the same degree as during high withdrawal. EMDR has been suggested by 3 physicians. But can I benefit from it if I am taking the benzo?

[@johnnypolex]

I watched a YT video that explained that the later and smallest doses of wheening off drugs are the most important steps. Say you’re taking 50mg then 40mg then 30mg…. When you get to say 5mg, it should be 4mg, then 3mg, then 2mg, then 1.5, 1.2, 1.0, 0.8… The bulk of the drug’s effects are in the “lower” doses. I’ve never had a doctor explain to me in detail how to wheen off a long-term drug, which is surprising considering the strong withdrawal symptoms many have. This process can take over a month. It can be best to repeat the lower doses before decreasing once more.

[@testtest8798]

Oh wow, I have all the symptoms of complex PTSD, I was in a fatal car accident. I was never diagnosed with complexe PTSD, just normal PTSD, and therapists have made my condition so much worse with exposure therapy that I cant make myself continue therapy. I also had a TBI that may be another factor. Ty for this! Any advise for someone in my situation? My symptons are extreme

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Step number 1 is often Emotional Regulation. Great tools for that are: yoga, diaphragmatic breathing, meditation, exercise, music to balance your mood (rather than exaggerate it). The free "aah mini-course" I offer has emotional regulation tools: www.awakenjoy.life.

[@testtest8798]

@@BarbaraHeffernan Ty!

[@aaronkinkaid673]

In your slide at 7:50 you mention Domestic Violence programs. Not to be a negative ninny, but I am a male survivor and the programs around where I live are all female centric. I was actually escorted out a back door and told I could not be at the center because the female survivors were uncomfortable. I obliged but that means I cannot seek help if there is no where for me to go...no where for me and my children to go (no family shelters exist for fathers with their kids - at least in my immediate area). Do you know of any facilities in the Central Florida area?

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

Hi Aaron: I'm so sorry you weren't able to access the help you need. I would recommend calling the National Hotline, here is a page on serving male victims: www.thehotline.org/resources/men-can-be-victims-of-abuse-too/. 211 is also a wonderful resource - and will know of services in your area. I am not familiar with Central Florida, and I also acknowledge that shelters for men with kids is definitely an underserved need.

[@aaronkinkaid673]

@@BarbaraHeffernan just got off the phone with them on Monday, said they cannot do anything for me...put me into contact with legal services that have refused me help as well. It is no wonder fathers are committing suicide at alarming rates...there is no help!

[@anniecarlson67]

What about the trauma a parent acquires when you have a child with an illness that is progressive. It's like you get thru one hospitalization and that's hard but you know there is no end insight. Constantly on high alert, watching for signs that things are getting worse. Trying to soak up and be greatful for the good health times but always waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under again. Just wondering if there's others out there with similar experiences and what helped the most.

[@welcomecataclysm]

I still live with my abusive parent, and probably won’t be able to get out for another year or so. I’ve brought it up with my therapist that I wonder if it’s safe to even start EMDR, would you say that it isn’t? We have still been working through resourcing

[@BarbaraHeffernan]

I can't give personal advice via social media, so take my response as one I might put in a video:... Full EMDR processing is very challenging if still in an abusive situation (Resourcing can be super helpful). Be sure to be fully honest with your therapist and together decide what you can and can't handle... Wishing you the best, health and healing 🌹

[@mazeymay960]

Hi

[@heavennoel9061]

Its absolutely horrifying I do not recommend doing this to someone

[@DS-zy9kq]

Can you elaborate please?

[@dariosergevna]

Can you please explain ?