Eminem becomes a Second Century Warlord

155 individual images of Marshal Mathers
Original post from Romanceyourdemons
www.tumblr.com/romanceyourdem...

[@Goobywoobygoo]

I like that despite fighting for him, becoming his trusted advisor, and ultimately falling in love with him he never stops calling his liege lord “loser liege lord”.

[@billbadson7598]

All second century warlords are canonically tsundere

[@Spinosaur101]

Right 😂 That "shoot my shot" bar hits different after the "don't ask what I was doing in his room" line

[@therealchaosguy]

The LLL had a humiliation kink

[@dependent-ability8631]

that's actually his name

[@marcosandrade9410]

@@Spinosaur101 lmao i thought he was planning to kill his loser liege lord so he could take his men back

[@matthewfisher7108]

I love how utterly loyal he is to the guy he accidentally became loyal to

[@aureklanderson4498]

Evan if it is a acseadent once you comit to a cause, your bond art tho soul and all that

[@purplelord8531]

he fell in love, obviously

[@SorowFame]

As he said, how do you explain that after the battle? And at a certain point the sunk cost fallacy kicks in.

[@titanuranus3095]

​@@SorowFameis it even a fallacy in this case? Not just sunk cost?

[@SorowFame]

@@titanuranus3095 I’m not really sure what you mean?

[@Sjors_]

Eminem saying "Don't ask what I was doing in my loser liege lord's room, it's not important" without changing his tone of voice or slowing down kills me every time.

[@user-wd2ir9if2h]

Truly one of the warlordest moments of all second century

[@AvauntVanguard]

No joke, literally my favorite line of this whole thing.

[@memesnahgee5259]

“Because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?” Is so underrated

[@mitchellwright5478]

You’d be surprised just how many times historically humans have seen two flagged armies fighting and as the third go ‘fuck which ones which’ ‘wing it’ and then they just hope they got it right cause if not they’re either shit out of luck or the golden goose if they win

[@gronizherz3603]

not to mention occasions of literally attacking your own army and fighting it for a while before figuring out wtf is going on :D @@mitchellwright5478

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

​@@mitchellwright5478Can you bane some of these battles? I'm legit curious

[@James-kx3gc]

@@TortoiseNotTurtle he can't, he's bullshiting out of his ass.

[@sevvythe3rd597]

@@TortoiseNotTurtle litterally any chinese battle in the ancient times, it makes game of thrones look like a board game, for example in 500BC there was a battle in Shanghai with 3 warlords who wanated to control the city and its port, but the city people had no idea who to side with, so literally (AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH) everybody in shanghai who wasnt a soldier created thier own faction and fought everyone, when the warlords were under attack by the people they wanted to conquer, they had no idea who to fight, so they just said fuck it, and teamed with everyone to fight the citizens, but the chaos was so immense that they ended up killing half of thier own army (they didnt have flags, but a patch kinda thing on thier arm that very easily fell in battle)

[@cogsworther1639]

What makes this brilliant is how the main character is always on the brink of doing something intelligent before absolutely ruining their own plans

[@timwinterhalter5233]

there was probably some dude two hundred years after the birth of Christ having these exact misadventures

[@EvillAnime]

@@timwinterhalter5233 I can see it. education and tactics weren't the best, some German barbarian king could easily do this shit

[@Jay2JayGaming]

@@EvillAnime Actually, these strats are plucked straight from Chinese legend-history

[@misterkillroy2952]

@@Jay2JayGaming it's just done so wrong.

[@ryokiritani4187]

I love the part where his dust strategy worked because his liege reminded him about the weather conditions lmfao

[@Palozon]

"I do mind" is a phenomenal line.

[@5amura115]

Bars

[@Tmaget]

That blindsided me 😂

[@BakedNConfused]

4:54

[@onlookerofthings6029]

The break in the music makes it 10x better

[@ryanhernandez8324]

@@onlookerofthings6029 just a fraction of a second but it really makes the joke

[@ryokiritani4187]

The "wouldn't you like to know" line implies the protagonist is known as "weather boy" lmao

[@anaccount6610]

It's due to his reliance on weather based strategies

[@ahaaas9433]

Ohh good catch lmao

[@texastacoss]

im slow i dont get it

[@yousefeldeeb5049]

@@texastacoss yeah same

[@maverixplosion2971]

​@@texastacoss You're not slow you probably just don't know the meme he's referencing, search "weather boy meme"

[@Huggbees]

I can't convey just how much I love this and how addictive it is to listen to. You took a meme format and made something incredible out of it. I love you.

[@olivercharles2930]

oh it is one of the apostles!

[@FuckYoutubeCensorship]

I have listened to this at least five times a day for a week lol

[@universesbiggestdouchebag8350]

Ay, you finally saw it. Love your how it's really made.

[@itmonketime]

Hi huggbees

[@TheHoliestCow]

It Infact perfect

[@nicholasjackl7531]

This story has everything: action, suspense, drama, romance, a feral hog… It’s a literary masterpiece.

[@gilbertoquinones5026]

Ong

[@Emery_Pallas]

Princess Mononoke

[@no3namesalike]

I want you to know that I read this in Stefon (Bill Hader)'s voice😅

[@LostSoulSilver]

​@@Emery_PallasOh my god, you're right

[@Vlad_Tepes_III]

​@@gilbertoquinones5026oink

[@EdwardENigma-cg3kt]

“Ever since the day he saw me tying branches to my horses tails in six inches of mud and couldn’t for the life of him figure out why.” Best line I can’t stop laughing.

[@Erine120]

Loser liege lord: “he must be a genius”

[@thatcoconut2642]

I don't get it either? Is this a references to the kicking up dust strategy?

[@paulcruz168]

​@@thatcoconut2642 yes, he assumed the fuck up in the beginning was some masterful stratagem he couldn't understand

[@CallMeCrazyCallMePoor]

Thus feels like the oldest punchline on Earth.

[@johnnydjiurkopff]

​@@CallMeCrazyCallMePoorit's probably one of the older ones.

[@JM-hj3sm]

I love that, much like in real life, a small group of talentless people manage to inevitably fail upwards in this story.

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

He didn’t give up and that is all it takes sometimes

[@mangosteak]

he can't be that incompetent in battle when his lll accepted him as his personal advisor acter he joined up with him

[@koolkidmalumunzolo]

@@mangosteak it's insinuated in the story that he and the king are fucking

[@TheAngryXenite]

Alternatively, this is the story of a man finding his true calling after learning that he's not actually all that great at his original gig.

[@NeostormXLMAX]

Don Quixote style story

[@jwhbos]

Would the real camp wizard please stand up?

[@eineperson9849]

And put one of those weather-based strategies on each hand up

[@ScreamsGeo]

Wouldn't you like to know?

[@lordbuss]

It's bigdickwizard6969. He has a youtube account.

[@darksecret965]

​@@eineperson9849cause I'm the real camp wizard yes I'm the real camp wizard And all you other fake wizards are just some wife stealers

[@The-Enemy-Medic]

@@eineperson9849 Yo that actually rhymed so well good job

[@lesbiane-girl3995]

I love how Chekhov’s firing squad starts going off at the end

[@carotidartery2455]

Underrated Comment

[@pablopereyra7126]

THE LIEGE LORD HE TRIED TO ALLY WITH. THE WIZARD. THE LLL'S WIFE. THE NURSERY RHYME. THE BRANCHES TIED TO HORSES STRATEGY. IT ALL PAYS OFF.

[@chestnutrice1337]

"chekhovs firing squad" broo made my day

[@idontcare6736]

I can’t believe the feral hog didn’t make an appearance

[@asylumskp4391]

Chekhov's ICBM

[@Glacial7]

“But they changed the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all.” Is such a fucking beautiful line

[@fableshearth2457]

"I was unaware I was his advisor in the first place" is my favorite lyric

[@Ezekiel_Allium]

This is the funniest medium to deliver such a genuinely gripping and fraught tale of woes and perseverance. I wish Eminem, the second century warlord luck in his future endeavors, I'm rooting for him and hoping he can move on from his triple-L

[@carlosemilio5180]

But why would he not want to take the l (loser) l(liege) l(lord)

[@Ezekiel_Allium]

​@@carlosemilio5180 it's hard to take the L(LL) when it's actively not interested in taking you

[@idatethefatkid]

The person who wrote this story made a sequel where they end up together

[@justarealisticpotato1622]

As a history nerd, can confirm that Slim Shady was a 2nd century warlord

[@NoteFromFamilyGuy]

Did Adolf Hitler and Darth Vader beat him up?

[@Knightgob]

@@NoteFromFamilyGuyin a rap battle

[@NoteFromFamilyGuy]

@@Knightgob and in real life?

[@Hearshotkid_2113]

As a History BA, I can confirm this confirmation.

[@patfitch6660]

Lord Slimm of Shaydee.

[@AroRalseiWithADoubleSpace]

Sure, he was an intelligent and valued warlord, with a little bit of luck on his side… but I have to question… what _was_ he doing in his triple L’s room that night?

[@CaptainCFalcon]

It's not important.

[@Qwnntm]

Wouldn't you like to know?

[@michaelkeehan8094]

He saw a pigeon and followed it.

[@mehlessmidori602]

You'll have to listen to the poop song really closely to figure that out.

[@nwut]

context

[@orangedalmatian]

I love how even after admitting his loser liege lord is a cool guy and that he really respects him, continues to call him a loser for the entire story.

[@CB0Otz]

Thirteenth day prob had the hardest lines on beat. "The fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figure out the poem's significance" is so good.

[@hacman8732]

“She doesn’t need to. Through a bizarre coincidence of homophones it’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme.” Had me dying

[@misterkillroy2952]

@@hacman8732 Between that and the "I knew you were a tactical genius when I couldn't figure out why you had your men rubbing branches on 6 inches of mud."

[@lulusobel8643]

I liked the "battle on the side of the guy"

[@jas3456]

i legitimately got invested in this lore

[@ryneboy3845]

Trust I need a episode 2

[@johnhines8915]

The loser liege lord lore

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

@@ryneboy3845 just play any of the games based on the 3 Kingdoms period of China....like Dynasty Warriors, based on The Romance of the 3 Kingdoms, all the verses in this basically tell that story.

[@drago939393]

@@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785 Huh. I didn't even think that China could be the inspiration for this, I just imagined Europe, the Middle East or India even.

[@STANKYCHEEZEMAYNE]

@@johnhines8915 *Loser Liege Lore Triple L Gang WizardWorld Lz Up

[@smilemore7431]

This is art. Credit to the tumblr gremlin who originally wrote it, but now I believe that this the way the story was always meant to be experienced.

[@Hexacosichoron12]

Absolutely

[@notablediscomfort]

He said tumblr gremlin.

[@JasonMathew97]

You probably think nfts are legitimate

[@ladywaffle2210]

Ah, a fellow lad who stole their shoelaces from the President. How goes it?

[@smilemore7431]

@@ladywaffle2210 Unfortunately due to the amount of people trying to steal his shoelaces the president has begun to wear sandals. These are dark days for us all.

[@j.s.ospina9861]

Betrayals, tactical strategies, magic, assassination plots, comradery, gay romance, drama, and a poop nursery rhyme. With all these things, truly this is the story of all time

[@AndragonLea]

The feral hog really makes it for me. It's underrated.

[@Wavemaninawe]

​@@AndragonLea The feral hog was the wizard all along.

[@badatgames5285]

My favorite throwaway line is in the fourth day when "its finally dusty" because he tried to kick up dust on day 1

[@AzariahWolf]

Also the LLL repeatedly reminds him of the weather when they fight the coalition leader.

[@MM-vs2et]

Was it throwaway? Since it actually made him attack the wrong guy because he couldn't see the standards correctly.

[@ashiranatagashiro2061]

Eminem, also known by his temple name as the Real Slim of Shady's and his regnal name Marshall Mathers, was the founder of the Shei Di dynasty of China and the fifth Eminemperior of the Shei Di Empire from 160 to 194, although after the division of the empire this was a nominal position.

[@TheBananamonger]

*Eight Mile Empire

[@TovKafur]

(for those who wonder: from 160 to 194 AD the Han dynasty, Chinese equivalent of Rome, started to fall apart).

[@ashiranatagashiro2061]

@@TheBananamonger I'll change it if you want

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

@@TovKafur yeah, the Yellow Turban rebellion, then Dong Zhuo went and tried to gain power and killed the Eunuchs...eventually around 208 China was divided between Wu, Shu, and Wei, and erupted into about a half century of civil war/faction infighting.

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

Was Slim Shady's loser Liege Lord Dong Zhuo the entire time? LoL!

[@Wizard_Cat]

Oh god there's still 5 minutes and 39 seconds left

[@samanthae.1002]

I’m at 1:49…how did u know

[@Wizard_Cat]

@@samanthae.1002 I'm just that good at judging by titles ig

[@XXXTENTAClON227]

It’s too short

[@TheRealMycanthrope]

"He has known I am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his, ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horses tails in six inches of mud and could not for the life of him figure out why."

[@JumbleMumble]

"I want to do more weather based strategies and i'm pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that" I think I just cracked a rib

[@namelessdragon330]

Camp wizard can probably help with that too

[@AmazingRebel23]

I knew a guy who did that from doing 7 bong tokes in a row

[@randomnessrules4971]

Romance of the Three Kingdoms (English translation)

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

Yup! I would recognize that classic plot in any format, LoL! An interesting period in China, especially if you stretch it out a couple decades before the 3 Kingdoms period officially started...where the Han dynasty pretty much began falling apart. By 208 C.E. China was divided between Wei, Wu, and Shu.

[@d729_]

@@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785 i see you must be a real fan by the profile pic 😉 one of the best damn games of all time

[@keegandaurity304]

You could write an entire novel with this story. JRR Tolkien better take notes

[@alexandrefillot9600]

I think Tolkien found himself a new host as the Graveyard.

[@NyscanRohid]

Yeah, his near-century-long-desiccated corpse should definitely take notes on this one.

[@keegandaurity304]

@@NyscanRohid 📝🪦

[@alonsoquijano649]

It's called Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

@@alonsoquijano649 ikr? I've played a lot of Dynasty Warriors games over the years and the entire time I'm thinking to myself, this is the plot of Romance of the 3 Kingdoms...I still haven't read The Journey West books yet though, they're like $80 at half-price bookstore, well outta my budget, LoL! Wish I could find the entire old TV series, but I've only been able to find short clips from it on KZbin.

[@jakek8101]

I cannot fucking fathom how hysterical this is I can only appreciate a quarter of this genius

[@neptune3043]

I feel like I'm on the cusp of fully experiencing this brilliance, but fall just short as I lack something to fully comprehend it

[@Appleyfrog]

"neither the men i love or the man i love" 😭

[@FrenchCanadianTrashPanda]

Let's all wish Mr. Slim Shady safe travels and good health during his new career of Loser Liege Lord's advisor

[@jameswheaton379]

"advisor"

[@FrenchCanadianTrashPanda]

@@jameswheaton379 ? I spelled it correctly

[@jameswheaton379]

@@FrenchCanadianTrashPanda not talking about your spelling lmao, talking about the reason he was in his 3L's room

[@FrenchCanadianTrashPanda]

@@jameswheaton379 Oh my bad haha

[@lilr6199]

@@FrenchCanadianTrashPanda and they were advisors~~

[@kkay000]

This has deeper lore and story than most feature length movies

[@stanislavkruml4812]

Maybe because the source is 800 000 words long

[@NeostormXLMAX]

@@stanislavkruml4812 this is a web novel?

[@stanislavkruml4812]

@@NeostormXLMAX Romance of the three kingdoms

[@name-yn6vu]

@@NeostormXLMAX medieval chinese novel about the second century fall of the han empire (a golden age in chinese history)

[@leonconnelly5303]

Have you ever read a book lol

[@TheAngryXenite]

Really wasn't expecting the very last line sneaking in like that. Got an actual laugh out of me.

[@misterkillroy2952]

And it was a hearty one. I'm Kilroy, I was there, and I laughed too.

[@styxrakash4639]

I feel like I misinterpreted the ending. Why WAS he impressed for dragging sticks in the mud?

[@TheAngryXenite]

@Styx Rakash Because it was such an obviously stupid idea that he assumed Second Century Warlord Em was actually pursuing some 5d chess bullshit. Basically, he gave 2CW Em too much credit due to how his shenanigans inexplicably worked out in the end.

[@styxrakash4639]

@@TheAngryXenite ahhhh

[@aidankeogh9994]

"Decide to shoot my shot, but I'm really nervous and keep on stalling, because what if I mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men?" A good commander

[@daverapp]

Imagine trying to explain what I just watched, to someone from the 2nd century.

[@josephjagusah8668]

i'm pretty sure the second century did not have "liege lords" it was a pretty stable time for the roman empire.

[@2yoyoyo1Unplugged]

@@josephjagusah8668China did

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

@@josephjagusah8668 this whole rap is actually the plot to Romance of the 3 Kingdoms, which was about China infighting during the late 2nd century to mid 3rd century...the Dynasty Warriors games by KOEI are based on the story....and yeah, they had what were essentially liege lords.

[@holdingspace]

@@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785 which character is eminem?

[@Lolavs]

I think a lot of it would actually make sense, if you know, you translated it for them.

[@danielhensler]

I actually started the dying when he said, "I just want to know what's going on." The person who wrote this is the best youtube imaginable.

[@sunbirth4795]

The person who wrote this is a tumblr user

[@Immortan_JoJo]

Honestly for real, this video/post is a youtube.

[@seigeengine]

@@sunbirth4795 I'll have you know my tube is amazing.

[@nerdywolverine8640]

@@sunbirth4795 (pretty sure they're using youtube with the adjective meaning proposed by rtgame)

[@danieleorlando3297]

I couldn't breathe. It's absolutely hilarious. Every day it gets worse and worse, and when you think he cannot mess up more, the next day starts and he does worse.

[@ratfry]

Such a great retelling of the classic tale of 2nd century warlord Marschall Maedere III, also known as the "Thin Shadow" for his lean appearance and "shadowy" tactics in both war and politics. BTW, "Marshall" is actually derived from the Frankish term for "keeper of horses."

[@takeandbakejake3271]

Thank you for naming my next d&d character

[@tomasfiorentini4126]

Are tou sure that's his name? I'm trying to find him but I can't.

[@griffinbaker3509]

@@tomasfiorentini4126 Eminem's real name is Marshall Mathers the third

[@tomasfiorentini4126]

@@griffinbaker3509 Ohh, the joke flew over me.

[@Jacked_Dude_Loves_Wheyfus]

That was good, I almost googled Marschall Maedere III.

[@greenhound]

the emotional depth of suggesting a battle plan, his loser liege lord saying he doesn't trust him, asking his loser liege lord to execute him if he can't trust him anymore, then his loser liege lord saying he will go ahead with his battle plan... wowwwwweee

[@edsw1446]

Most unfortunate warlord

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

I think maybe his name was Lu Bu.... LoL!

[@imeowmeowkat]

When on the thirteenth day we found out the other warlords strategy was just his rhyme he taught the kids that was turned into the poop rhyme my jaw unironically dropped that's great storytelling

[@ANunes06]

"Through a bizarre coincidence of homophones..." Seriously. Full Dead.

[@samvidas9599]

Confuses me

[@aknee790]

One of my favorite lines is "thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy", because he wanted to do more weather based strategies

[@iratepirate3896]

It doesn't matter if it's BC or AD. On the steppe it's the same.

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

This is true

[@iratepirate3896]

@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus Ah the right hand of God, I'm a big fan.

[@thesundayseshlads]

“After the banquet I corner him and ask him what the fuck is going on he says ‘wouldn’t you like to know’ and leaves.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@KingFunky]

I love how he is always atrocious when it comes to the weather

[@noot3316]

“It’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme” is so fucking funny.

[@misterkillroy2952]

When the strategist uses the Art of War book he bought in a back alley from a very friendly drunk monk 50 days from the nearest temple

[@mcgardenshedsisreal]

"i do mind" had me yelling

[@SherbertHusky]

I love how subtle 2nd Century Warlord Eminem and Loser Liege Lord's romance is throughout the story. Very wholesome.

[@binterwinterboyii1095]

ngl LLL's confession at the end is grounds for a marriage proposal in my book Get you someone who sees the weird-ass logic you use as beautiful I now see what Patroclus saw in Achilles

[@takeandbakejake3271]

*wheeze* that's exactly what happened

[@PotedePepes]

THE ABREVIATION BEING LLL MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD MY LUNGS ALMOST EXPLODED LOLOLOLOL

[@nunyabiznasty8914]

I firmly believe this video to be the result of the following age old wisdom: "Ask not why, ask why not!"

[@willow5945]

Eminem is truly the Timothy Dexter of 2nd Century warlords.

[@TheAngryXenite]

"Wait a minute, is he actually kind of *smart?* "

[@PilloTheStar]

A pickle for the knowing ones

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

He married a ghost?

[@stargazer1998]

He bought whale bones?

[@vincentkeehl8429]

The best part of it is when he confronts the wizard at the coalition camp and the wizard ignores him. I believe he was following that pigeon because he thought he would catch the culprit, get captured, and get executed, thereby dying with satisfaction. It’s so funny that the wizard is caught but just snubs him

[@imjustlookingformywatch]

2:42 "this would have been a great thing to think of before I got myself into this situation" sums up every moment of my life.

[@lordskeletor481]

love day 15 in particular, like "now that the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i don't tell them that," just goes so hard.

[@Linosek279]

“Turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, He isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife” Yo, why the line about a man getting cucked by a mage go so hard?

[@kagato23]

It’s more that he’s gay so who cares about the woman?

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

🤣🤣🤣

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

@@kagato23 I think in that case maybe his loser liege lord was Cao Cao, and Slim Shady was Zheng He....from the Wei faction during the 3 Kingdoms period of China, LoL!

[@wildfire9280]

@@kagato23 “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

[@xxxguarnicion2.051]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mastertoki1]

I love how em falls in love with him but still proceeds to call him loser liege lord

[@EscapeGate]

He decided to keep on stalling

[@khittyhawk9651]

"loser liege lord (affectionate)"

[@bestpriest2224]

Eminem's worst enemy is the weather conditions. He's fighting a war of his own.

[@yommish]

“I’m preparing to leave to.. I don’t know where Maybe to try to become a wizard, for real” That line hits

[@dagothhyde7297]

The fact that he’s secretly having an affair with the loser liege lord is so good

[@ashleycrow8867]

I don't think he actually is, he would like to but from what I understand he never did?

[@klodtwentytwo2242]

I thought the reason he was in his bedroom is because he thought about actually killing Loser Liege Lord

[@lordcawdorofmordor2549]

@@klodtwentytwo2242 That too, maybe both, but after that he has the line about how both "the men I love" (his soldiers, who have defected to his false liege lord) and "the man I love" (the LLL, who now has his wife back) no longer have any use for him. The latter phrase suggest that the Warlord had taken up the role of his LLL's wife.

[@klodtwentytwo2242]

@@lordcawdorofmordor2549 oh, yeah, didn't notice it, you are right

[@ashleycrow8867]

@@lordcawdorofmordor2549 I thought the Loser Liege lord has no need for him cause he has no more men and he thinks his only service he can provide is his army cause he's a warlord (as evident by "I was unnaware I was his advisor in the first place")

[@OnlyGrafting]

The way it ties itself back into the very start is fucking perfect.

[@Coastal_Cruzer]

I love how it occasionally starts flowing a little before returning to just being a story

[@blue_weather]

Somehow enhancing an already amazing and funny Tumblr post into incredible and hilarious art in the form of an Eminem rap is a showstopping display of skill and creativity, my god.

[@UltimaPowers]

I like to imagine in 500 years after multiple world wars have erased and rewritten history that this will be uncovered and become Eminem's true back story.

[@ashleylastname9091]

This is unironically a captivating story, like I've watched this 4 times now and every time I have to watch the full thing. 10/10 when part 2? Eminem's 2nd century Eminempire?

[@pastashack3517]

"Eminem becomes a second century Central Asian petty king"

[@TheRealVorynDagoth]

Romance of the 3 kingdoms apparently

[@lordbuss]

There is a sequel by the same author, written in 3rd person with intense dramatic style, and all the names are in Chinese.

[@USALeonHeart]

I love how, about 2 minutes into this, *none* of the "x day as a 2nd century warlord" lines fall anywhere in the arrangement that would make sense.

[@iantaakalla8180]

“13th day of a second century warlord” fits the beat again, however.

[@The-Sexinator]

"I want to do more weather based strategies and im pretty sure having a camp wizard would help with that" is just really fucking funny.

[@NameHere2243]

Say what you will about this warlord, he can definitely change clothes mid rap really quickly

[@dziewiaty]

This motivates me no matter how many things you screw up you can always count on bizarre coincidence of homophones.

[@Destinywings]

Really had the singing AI make an entire 2nd century dnd campaign for Eminem to stumble his way through holy crap

[@takeandbakejake3271]

My thoughts exactly

[@Skysword455]

it’s the plot of a real chinese legend

[@Mumiah862]

@@Skysword455 which legend

[@Skysword455]

@@Mumiah862 multiple stories taken from Romance of the Three Kingdoms, i believe

[@avoarphish8338]

Its from a tumblr post

[@stuff31]

good lord it's an entire song

[@nhwd_10]

Oh God theres 3 minutes left

[@cowanshields8087]

This is straight up the history of how Bulgaria was formed

[@jauxro]

You wouldn't lie to me about Bulgaria right

[@cowanshields8087]

@@jauxro Maybe

[@White_Breeder]

"I didn't know I was his advisor in the first place" truly a captivating tale

[@TESkyrimizer]

i didnt realize at first but the chinese aspects of this story are undeniable 1) coalition leader 2) military token 3) confusing names on standards 4) a lot of Art of War inspired tactics 5) children's poem and poop homophones only thing missing is lighting extra campfires at night to bluff the enemy but because of the dry weather accidentally start a wildfire that completely scatters your army

[@yalieyal4362]

I feel like the whole "disguise yourself as a wizard" thing is more of a western thing, although maybe there are a few examples I don't know about

[@mrZanZibar777]

The whole "using horses to stir up dust to make it look like you have a larger force" is straight out of Romance of the Three Kingdoms

[@dangerousadvantage126]

@@yalieyal4362 could be in reference to cultivators? but yeah, the og writer has gone more in-depth about this story and it's definitely set in second-century china.

[@samminden1058]

@@yalieyal4362 the wizard might be more akin to a Daoist wizard ala Zhuge Liang or Zhang Jue from Romance of the Three Kingdoms, especially with the plan for weather based plans.

[@CodyWhy]

"Don't ask what I was doing in my loser liege lord's room, it's not important." 😂

[@AexisRai]

there's actually a lot of good rhyming and rhythm in this production

[@witch877]

Where ? Lol

[@AexisRai]

1:44 is pretty on-beat for several bars, so that's rhythm, and within that there's rhymes like (stalling / because) and especially (relationship / extension jeop) - - - - - - I de / cide . to shoot . my shot . / but I'm real ly ner vous . and / keep on . stall . ing be cau / se what if I mess up our re / lat . ion ship . and by ex / ten . sion jeop . ard ize the / sec u rit y of my men . /

[@zerohero3419]

@@AexisRai Lovely. Thank you for doing this so I did not have to.

[@BaronVonDergner]

How does the Eminem bot get "Loser Liege Lord" to go so hard with the beat and backing track every time _"I decide to shoot my shot/But I'm really nervous, and I keep on stalling/Because/What if I mess up our relationship"_ flows so f*cking naturally, matching the rhythm and word stresses and pauses

[@snappishtemperament213]

FRRRR THANK YOU YES, no one else has commented on how hard that goes, best part of the vid in terms of flow

[@jbark678]

I love how he never stops calling the man he "loves" loser liege lord 🤣

[@merrittanimation7721]

He likes pathetic men

[@mr.tomasiorubinshtein]

How can a single man steal half the treasury and get away with it? Were there like two small containers of gold and he just took one of them under his cloak?

[@KingFunky]

Wizard magic probably

[@danshea3679]

Wouldn't you like to know.

[@heroinboblivesagain5478]

The LLL treasuary was like 30 quid anyway.

[@Darkwolfsbane]

Unironically it probably was just a box of gold and silver.

[@Jay2JayGaming]

What really caught my attention was the fact that these stratagems are certified classics from Chinese legend/history

[@yibithehispanic]

The tale is so welll crafted like you could believe it is an actual ancient piece of theatrical comedy

[@jesseholman7424]

"I'm honestly so sick of not knowing what's going on" 🤣

[@iLikeTheUDK]

Eminem rapping "I'm honestly so sick of not knowing what's going on" while raising his voice to a shout at around 3:40 is perfect. 10/10

[@MrDSkinny]

Literally my favorite part

[@HexagonThatReallyLikesVinegar]

This man legit has the best strategy ever, but the worst execution, and is also extremely lucky at the same time.

[@clone2854]

This has actually become like. integral to me. Frequently I will just put it on in the background and as such it is permanently ingrained in my head. I could probably recite this entire video if I tried. Help.

[@wheelmanv]

The loser liege lord seems to actually be pretty solid

[@everwhatever]

I adjust my wizard costume to PASSABLY disguise myself as a woman.

[@URangryX]

Maybe I should adjust myself and become a proper Wizard....??? Yeaahhh....

[@roshillal2289]

The "Wouldn't you like to know, Weather Boy" reference is gold

[@therealvergil666]

Am I really about to watch this whole thing?

[@Wizard_Cat]

It's motivational

[@TheTrueEvilSpud]

It gets you hooked and then it’s over in what feels like a minute

[@Clemppu]

Wouldn't you like to know.

[@just_peace]

The fact this is people's first introduction to the series of posts...

[@just_peace]

Far from the worst intro though tbf

[@ericburns469]

“I knew you were a tactical genius, when I saw you tying branches to your horses’ tails in six inches of mud…” Did you guys know “conman” is short for confidence man? Anyways, I’m off to try and be a wizard for real…

[@JunKazamaFan]

The way the sixteenth day ties directly into the first at the end in a perfect callback is simply beautiful.

[@AbsolXGuardian]

Ive never actually saw the full version when it went around tumblr (as each day was its own reblog), so Im glad i finally got to see the end of the story

[@derekeastman7771]

My man had a busy fortnight.

[@WillyTheComposerOfficial]

I totally forgot the whole idea of this being an Eminem rap and just got absorbed in the story

[@ankoku37]

this is a work of art and I'm a changed man after experiencing it

[@jamesmcmackin8773]

I used to be worried I would never live through an era of high art