Empathy and Validation for the Care Partners

In this series of three recorded videos, Teepa and Rachel discuss why and how care partners for people living with dementia can benefit from receiving empathy and validation from their circle of friends and family.
Please note: KZbin videos are not a supplement to Teepa Snow's Positive Approach to Care training content and videos. For more information, please visit teepasnow.com/dementia-educat... or contact us by phone at 877-877-1671 or by email at [e-mail].
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[@Vito58]

Thank God for Teepa!!!!. I have followed her for 16 years and am so grateful🙏

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @Vito58, we really appreciate you following Teepa for so many years. We are grateful to you as well.

[@purelightlove8888]

Many Thanks💓TEEPA💓 for ALL your Video Shares, I Appreciate You siSTAR!! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@teepasnowvideos]

You are so welcome

[@irmapena9319]

So grateful for your sincere labor of love, Gracias ladies

[@teepasnowvideos]

Our pleasure, @irmapena9319!

[@MovementMusicMemories]

Love this topic Teepa! Thank you for continuing to share your love and wisdom!

[@teepasnowvideos]

You are so welcome, @TheBestYouwithFran! Thank you for subscribing and commenting. We appreciate it.

[@lauriemclean1131]

The care partner can be misjudged by a lot of people. Friends & relatives of the person with dementia can hold onto their denial of the dementia for a long time. They can tend to assume the caregiver is imagining things. Went through that in caring for my Grandma. Some of her friends assumed I was the one "with a problem." I just had to learn to live with that until her dementia became completely undeniable. Not sure if anyone ever was honest enough with themselves to change their opinion of me, however. 😉

[@lauriemclean1131]

I'm thankful there are better resources to help caregivers now. As far as I know, there was not much out there when I needed it.

[@leslierisan7603]

I’m the bad guy here too. Sorry you had to feel that.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @lauriemclean1131 & @leslierisan7603! Thanks for watching/commenting. It is hard to be misjudged by others when you are trying to do your best. No one should have to feel less than. I'm sorry that happened. I"m also glad that you have some of our resources and hope that you will share it with others so that they never have to experience what you did. Please know that the Positive Approach to Care team is always here to help too. [e-mail] or 1-877-877-1671.

[@PaintedShovel]

I am so sorry to hear you went through this incredibly invalidating and judgmental experience. I feel great empathy towards you and any caregiver who is discounted, persecuted and maligned. I have had to take a step back from my family who insisted I was the one with the problem. They postulated many reasons why I was the way I was. None of their analysis was correct and all of it was harmful to my reputation with my Loved One with Alzheimer's and a few family friends. They are victims themselves of a certain type of bias, the name of which escapes me. But the geist is that this bias occurs when people consider the failings of others as being due to their moral failings, whilst their failings are due to environmental circumstances only (their ethics are still in tact). I hope this perspective helps someone today.

[@sharifahtahir]

Great discussion as usual. Sometimes all we need is to be validated!

[@teepasnowvideos]

Absolutely, @sharifahtahir! Thank you for all that you are doing in your part of the world as well, my friend!

[@irmapena9319]

Hola! Studying the 3 episodes. Thank you so much

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hola, @irmapena9319! Glad that you are studying 3 episodes. Thanks for watching so many of our videos and commenting too!

[@lauraharris6987]

If you seek a Neurologist make sure they specialize in Dementia. Otherwise you are wasting your time. So important!

[@cynthiadeere7599]

I am grateful that our doctor heard me regarding some changes noted in my husband and referred him to the neuropsychiatrist at the memory center in our city for a thorough evaluation. Result? MCI. So the uncertain journey continues. I plan to look into services in my area. I have found a support group for me, but would like to find one for him or us together.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @cynthiadeere7599, we would be happy to help you find some resources in your area. Please reach out to us at [e-mail] or call 1-877-877-1671. You can also check out our website (www.teepasnow.com) and look under the How We Can Help section. We are here to help too.

[@irmapena9319]

Gracias again🥰

[@wilow_]

This was super helpfull, being a intermediate between my mum who is caring for my dad, she struggles massively adapting to his new care needs and your advice I think will be very helpfull xx

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi @willow_. Thanks for watching and subscribing! So glad to know that you've found this information helpful. If you would like to learn more, please check out this page on our website (teepasnow.com/resources/for-families-and-friends/) or reach out to talk to one of our team at [e-mail]

[@micheale-lynnjackson7839]

Yes I can witness the system is not working. Our family left the neurologist and PCP with diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and medication to slow the progression and address “sundowners”. That’s IT. So wish this clip with so much helpful information was given in addition to the medication. Thank you, Thank you for what you do in your program. I am sharing with as many people struggling for the same reason. You and your work is outstanding. Have you been on 60 Minutes or CBS Sunday Morning?

[@teepasnowvideos]

Hi, @michaela-lynnjackson7839, thanks so much for sharing with others. We truly appreciate that and are glad that others are finding us through you. Teepa has not been on either of those shows, but she has been on the Today Show and interviewed on NPR once or twice. If you ever want to connect people more directly to us, please email [e-mail], call1-877-877-1671, or visit www.teepasnow.com.

[@darlenecarman7644]

always so helpful, thank you for helping us find our voice xo Dar

[@teepasnowvideos]

Any time, @darlenecarman7644!

[@teresacummings7720]

God Bless you, Teepa & and Rachel, for all you do to take the fear out and replace with loving care. ❤️

[@teepasnowvideos]

Thank you! You too!

[@teresacummings7720]

Thank you so much! ❤❤❤

[@teepasnowvideos]

You're welcome 😊@teresacummings7220!

[@docgammycat]

Teepa, I'm only 11 minutes into the video and I want to weep and I want to scream. I have been treated abominably by every doctor and every institution my mother has visited in the past ~18~ years(!!!), from world-class hospitals to NYC APS. She has delusional personality disorder and now dementia, her finances are a mess, her co-op is suing her (an abomination in itself, because they have no cause for action); she, too, is abusive of me, and I'm running in place only to keep falling further behind. Yes, I've reached out for help--I've paid $10,000 to a top-notch attorney to petition for guardianship and get other help, but I have SO MANY TASKS on my plate, so many SUDDEN EXIGENCIES, it's hard to find the time & energy to gather the information to go forward with the guardianship (not to mention: my own health challenges). And me having guardianship WILL NOT FIX a U.S. HEALTHCARE/MENTAL HEALTHCARE/ELDER HEALTHCARE SYSTEM that is a complete SHAMBLES!!!😢

[@teepasnowvideos]

Wow, @docgammycat5409, it sounds like you having been dealing with a lot of issues. You are right that is shouldn't be happening and we're sorry that you have so much on your plate. If you would like to talk to someone on our team (even if just to get your frustrations out), please call us for a free 30-minute session at 1-877-877-1671 or [e-mail]. I thank you for continuing to support your mother and trying to do what you can.

[@docgammycat]

@teepasnowvideos Thank you so much for the response! I'm going to look into that consult, because I'm just overwhelmed.

[@wordivore]

"There's nothing I'm going to do dramatically about it." Translation: So shut up about it. Just went to a first doctor's appt yesterday. My SO is showing signs of dimentia. It's a new primary. First ofc we saw the MA and she took his BP and asked some questions, which we both shared in answering. Then when the doctor came in, she (the doctor asked, "So what can I do for you today?" Softly spoken and sounded nice. Then my SO said, "Here we go." Kind of a roll the eyes response because it meant he had to communicate, something he is having difficulty with. The doctor GOT OFFENDED! She turned toward the door and motioned like she was going to walk out. Said something about wanting to start on the right foot and wanted to know what he meant. I couldn't believe it. Shit's already been stressful enough. In addition to what's happening to my SO, I have Complex PTSD! The last thing I need to be dealing with is some doctor who gets offended easily. This is a doctor that sees patients in nursing homes too. So her reaction was totally unexpected. My SO was too flustered to explain so I did it for him. His response was about HIMSELF! Not about the narcissistic ahole he went to get help from. He knew he was going to have a difficult time explaining himself and that's all he meant. I can only imagine how she behaves with people in end stages and how offended she must get when they're being aggressive. Once I explained she said, "Oh okay." But her niceness from there on out was so fake I wanted to puke. She did say that a neurologist is the next step but we didn't get a referral because we need to find one that takes the insurance first.

[@teepasnowvideos]

Wow, @wordivore, I'm so sorry that you both had that experience, that shouldn't have happened. I'm wondering if it might help to send a note or have a call with someone on the dr's staff prior to your visit to give them some information about things. We can't be sure that they read/process it before coming it to talk with both of you, but would it help you to try? Just a thought. I'd also like to offer up a free 30-minute consultation with a member of our team to talk through things. Please contact us at [e-mail] or call 1-877-877-1671.