Empower Your ADHD Child: 5 Essential Truths Parents Must Know

[@DoctorJacque]

childbehaviorclinic.com/masterclasses/ - excited to share my child ADHD masterclass with you - hope you check out everything available! This video (and the masterclass it's based on) represents MANY hours of time in the making, teaching you the most essential ideas to help your child with ADHD. So, feel free to re-watch as often as you need. Thanks for being here, and I hope this ADHD guide is truly helpful to you!

[@serina_makeup_mama4094]

I’m about to cry because why didn’t I find this video sooner 😢it would have saved so many tears for both my son and I.

[@glamakestt2380]

Hug for you mama I feel the same way. I’m heart broken how I’ve reacted to my son😢

[@ericahoxie1925]

I finally feel like there’s someone that really understands what parents go through.

[@DoctorJacque]

This is truly the best compliment. And this is my dream - that all parents (and their kids) feel seen and heard and have the confidence and tools to deal with the tough stuff, together.

[@victoriasicola2286]

Excellent video! I am single and raising two grandchildren with ADHD. My 87 year old mother moved in, as well. My biggest problem is self care. Don't do it. Don't have time. I just repeat what Mother Teresa continually said, "I'll rest when I'm dead!" Sometimes just watching the sunrise and sunset or swinging on the porch swing does the trick. I can say parenting is harder at 60 than it was at 30! I just subscribed and will be a regular liker and sharer!

[@scentsei8201]

I read your comment and it made me a bit sad and happy tbh. I truly hope and wish the best for you and your loved ones. ❤ i believe you, that its not easy. But you Sound like you are those childrens light. Just keep going 💪🏽😊

[@daniellewild1854]

I wish school staff would watch these videos.

[@DoctorJacque]

I know some do! 😊 It's hard though. There's so much at play in a school/classroom, and trying to meet everyone where they're at with the resources available is tough. I think it would be great if more mental health education was part of professional development though.

[@daniellewild1854]

​@DoctorJacque What strategies/tactics would you recommend that I could suggest to my child's 5th grade teachers?

[@legoboom5480]

I feel like the key to parenting a kid with adhd is being a parent without adhd... but you know... genetics. Parenting a kid with adhd as someone with adhd is incredibly challenging.

[@Kelli09f]

It is incredibly difficult to be a parent with ADHD nvm when your child also has ADHD. For my experience growing up I felt most heard and seen by my father. Hardships I went through he was able to let me know I wasn’t alone and he went through those things too. It’s because of his ability to let me know mistakes don’t define me, but it’s what I do after the mistake. This saved me in so many times and in so many ways. So while it is incredibly hard, you also are the only one who can relate to your child and that connection I feel is the most important support that our kiddos with adhd need.

[@jphi05]

yep, its frustrating to say the least.

[@jaydog7840]

As a 40 year old that just got diagnosed with adhd I’m explaining and teaching my wife what to say and or do in situations. I feel like one parent with it and one without is the best senecio of the one without is willing to listen and help

[@legoboom5480]

​@jaydog7840 ha, I did the same. My wife's inflexibility and struggle to adapt to our daughter's needs and mine has led me to realise she is Autistic (with the help of a good counsellor). She's in denial about it, so its parked. But yes, the ideal would be one neurotypical parent so they can handle more of the executive-function-by-proxy tasks and adhd parent can handle the in-betweens.

[@tm.s.d8409]

Try ADHD_love_ Rich & Rox Rox has adhd Rich autism They give some fantastic strategies on how to work together with different needs

[@njorun1829]

Thank you so much. I appreciate how balanced your stance is between strengths and challenges. My 8 yo just got diagnosed with severe ADHD, combined form. He has the biggest heart and would never hurt a fly. Material things, however, have been broken, and when he "locks" there's no rewind button. We just have to wait it out and try to find alternative ways to handle similar situations in the future, in order to avoid ending up with the same result next time. He has huge challenges in school bco his inability to focus etc. But he's also been fluent in English since he was three, and he's been able to read English for the last year or so. English is not our first language, and he is self-taught. Thanks for that, KZbin Kids!

[@daryls.8089]

my child is everything you've described, EXCEPT the behaviors only happen at home. i don't know if it's adhd, over stimulation, over tired from the day? control?

[@katiehowell1058]

Thank you for this video! I have an appt with my son’s pediatrician to see if she thinks he has ADHD. I’m like 99.99% sure he does. When I read about adhd or listen to videos like this, it’s like it was written about my son. It describes him exactly. He has every symptom of the disorder. I have ocd, my sister-in-law and nephew have adhd and we have lots of family members with anxiety. My son also has tics. This video gives me some hope. I wish I had this video years ago. It’s been a long journey of frustration and stress.

[@jessren1618]

Omg just found your videos. Our 4 year old is struggling and it makes me so sad and upset. We are making an appointment to get him evaluated and want to try to help him without medication so he can help us and himself and do the best he can in school. Thank you for these videos!

[@DoctorJacque]

Thank you so much - your comment means so much to me. I appreciate you being here. 😊

[@tm.s.d8409]

As someone with adhd and my son i really appreciate your strategies and your views on boundaries and simple expectations on behaviors, which we all need i wish our schools saw it like this

[@DoctorJacque]

Thanks so much! Yes, there is still much more education that can be done, for schools and just society in general.

[@rosezhang571]

I had a hard time today because I was trying to enroll my 4-year-old son in a local private preschool. But when I took him to submit the application to the school, the school supervisor told me he was too hyperactive and he may have given the staff a hard time. It was so discouraging. I know my son is different, but it is also too frustrating to hear the judgment like that. Thanks for your video; it relieves my stress and smooths my mood.

[@TM15HAKRN]

@@rosezhang571 I get it It hurts....a lot

[@plantyfan]

First -- I love this video. It supports everything I've been learning for the past 5 years. Second though -- hoooooooooooooow do you make things ADHD-friendly for your children when -- hypothetically speaking of course (😅) -- the parent didn't know until the child was diagnosed? And maybe that hypothetical household is an ADHD full-house (5/5) and really overwhelmed 😅

[@heatherwhynot]

SAME😂 the more I learned, the more I was like, "oooh.. that's why I'm the way I am and he's the way he is"😅 💡 moment.

[@beckischellinger5150]

I was a square peg that had to fit into a round hole growing up. My son likely has ADHD too. But somehow, I'm still struggling to adapt to his way of learning because I'm so used to forcing it to work. I'm watching this to help learn how to help him the best. He's super smart, kind, full of energy, and amazing! I wanted to give a little feedback that non-ADHD minds might not be aware of. We are good at trade careers. I'm a healthcare professional but used to do construction and still do a lot of woodworking. In woodworking it is exponentially easier to turn a square dowel into a round dowel as opposed to making a square hole!! To an ADHD person in the trades, it initially came off as (and I still can't dismiss it) just adapt to your environment. I am very well aware that was nothing close to your intent! But if you have a second analogy available it might be helpful. Or to embrace, that as a square peg ADHD'er, that it is impossible to fit that circle hole without losing part of yourself. (Shaving off the corners)

[@beckischellinger5150]

And...I just got to the end of this which embraced some of my last suggestions... How is that for impulsivity...🙄 However I'll still leave it in case there's a different helpful analogy, or as an example of the ADHD brain. But also to highlight the harms of encouraging kids to just make it work, and then suffer the emotional consequences.

[@mariiaoliinyk4340]

I’m literally crying while watching this.. so glad I found this video and channel.

[@ling8376]

Thank you so much for this informative video. It helps a lot those parents who are struggling with their kids' behavior. This video gives me hope that I can help my son to be the best he can be.😊

[@beyngangbam5084]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I am going to follow your instructions. I have a daughter with adhd she is 12, and there’s always conflict between us.hoping to reduce all of it so that I candevelop a good relationship with her

[@TM15HAKRN]

Superb Thanks Dr You have helped so much 😊

[@lelyluck]

I don’t have a problem with my ADHD son his teacher is the one that has a problem with his ADHD

[@DoctorJacque]

It's hard when different people, like teachers, have different expectations or a different understanding. Teachers have got a tough job, and sometimes don't have adequate resources to meet the needs of all of their students all the time. And then sometimes kids with ADHD genuinely need more support at school than at home simply because of the environment and demands. Generally, working as a team and collaborating on problem-solving and supporting the difficulties will help kids most in the long-run.

[@devaneyroldan5677]

This video gives me so much hope for my son. He’s young. He’s only 5 but I have been feeling like he might have this.. especially because 5 of my adult siblings have it. I see him struggling and I haven’t always handled my approach the best, but this gives me a great guide to help him. I’ll be getting him an appointment soon to see if he has it so his teachers will be able to work with him well too. I always watch him next to my 4 year old daughter and I see a huge difference in the way they both behave. Her staying on task easily and him not so much. Your videos are so helpful! Thank you ❤

[@DoctorJacque]

Thanks so much for commenting. It sounds like you will be a great advocate for him!

[@stephaniecmrg]

Wow! My son is 17 and we are just now getting him diagnosed and figuring out school with him. This video would have been so helpful on how to handle him while he was little.

[@shayne8980]

I feel dealing with childhood adhd is crucial as i was diagnosed at 54 and it made my younger years so difficult and thats putting it midly

[@inattentiveadhdcoalition887]

This is wonderful, clear and practical advice--concisely put and easily understood. I hope more parents find this video.

[@DoctorJacque]

Thanks so much! The best way to help more parents find the video is by liking, commenting, and sharing - so thank you!

[@andreawilson6887]

Thank you so so much, I’m bawling. This is absolutely outstanding, now I just have to get my son’s father on board….

[@rohinishrestha8860]

Could you please help me understand how I can execute all of these in a day? Please keep in mind that there is only 24 hours a day. So taking care of myself(exercise, drink 3 ltr of water, meditate), taking care of my finances ( which means I have to work at least 8 hours a day), taking care for my kids (who are in autism spectrum and ADHD), be nice to them all times (don’t yell/don’t snap/provide feedback/positive reinforcement), take care of their homeworks/activities/change the system and environment, take care of their health (cook food every day, make sure they are active, blah blah). I would appreciate if someone can give me the breakdown of time so I know what I need to focus on in 24 hours.

[@gyldanword]

Respectfully, I think you should rethink your attitude. I'm in a very similar situation: 3 kids under 10, all with some form/combination of ASD, ADHD, and language delay. While I'm not perfect, I do realize that the change has to come from me. I also have diagnosed ADHD, so struggle with emotional regulation, etc., but if I can't control myself and at least try, then everything that is wrong is my fault. They don't know better yet. I do. If you can't take on this list with a gracious heart, and at least try, I think you need to do some soul-searching. Take this list, decide what is most important in your life and focus on that. Employ all the others incidentally as you remember/are able. Keep going. Your children need you as much as mine need me. God bless you. I wish you and your family the very best.

[@TM15HAKRN]

Yep It's Constant struggle...juggling chores..taking care of everything Not easy...some days worse..yet some days better...if you have someone to help/support you..best😊

[@franceshaggitt3104]

Imagine that as a single mum . I'm that

[@gyldanword]

@@franceshaggitt3104 Spending 3 months without my husband gave me a little insight. It's sure not easy. But, then, nothing that's worth doing is. And I'd def say our kiddos are worth it. God bless you and keep you.

[@DrDimaDrill]

Hi Dr. Jacque. Could you do a video on how to handle picky eating and anxiety over eating for 4-5 year olds? Thank you for all your videos!!

[@DoctorJacque]

Hi! Thank you for watching! That’s a great idea. I’ll add it to my future videos list 💕

[@sayeemazainab8327]

Really picky ... please help

[@NicoleNinaFurniss]

Thank you for your videos! I can't wait to share with my girl that she is worthy just the way she is

[@sherib6901]

Same. ❤ Struggling so much with our 8 almost 9 year old daughter having social difficulties at school. Would love an in depth video on how to help ADHD girls socially.

[@bygraceonly182]

#4 : reduce kid’s stress with consistency, predictability, and simplicity… enter Mom with ADHD (me) uhhhh… help!!! 😂

[@beckypadgettwillson3656]

I'm 42 with 14 yo, mum 63 all adhd and non of us with the skills needed lol steep learning curve but thank god there is so much more awareness now. Calm parenting skills have helped xx

[@flourishbodysoul]

This was so helpful and encouraging- thank you!

[@DoctorJacque]

I'm so glad!

[@KaterynaKorobkova]

Thanks a lot! Very informative and helpful. Best of luck!!!

[@DoctorJacque]

Thanks so much for your support 💚

[@popadoru9037]

Thank you for the tip advice about keeping organise😅 The challenge is that my misses and I have adhd 😂

[@DoctorJacque]

Working on a video with tips for parenting a child when you also have ADHD. Keep an eye out for that!

[@torreycat7716]

I love your videos. I trust in what you’re saying. I just want to give a little “however“. However, I have ADHD and watching your videos is hard for me because of all of the movements of your hands. Maybe next video you could try holding a book or something. Just a thought. Otherwise no worries. I can get by.

[@rodneyandalexaplunkett7441]

What if you are a parent with ADHD trying to parent a child with ADHD ?

[@DoctorJacque]

Not uncommon. The same parenting strategies would still apply - maybe needing some individual tweaks so they work for the ways both a parent’s and child’s brain work. Was there a particular strategy from the video you were wondering about as a parent with ADHD?

[@cheriseshupe2758]

@@DoctorJacque yes the organizing the house part and the Routine making. Are both really hard for me with adhd as an adult and then my son’s adhd.

[@ToadalSimplicity]

Same here. I think it’s more common than the medical community acknowledges at this time. There are a lot of parents with ADHD who weren’t diagnosed prior to becoming a parent or who haven’t been diagnosed at all. I’m in the former group. The demands of parenting are what made it impossible for me to mask my ADHD and autistic traits anymore. I was neglected for a variety of reasons growing up and internalized a lot of negative beliefs about myself, and continue to set toxic expectations for myself. I don’t want to pass that on to my kids, but it’s difficult to overcome that default thought pattern (e.g. try harder, be better, what’s wrong with you). I would never say those things to my kids, but I also get frustrated and wish I had some ideas about better approaches to take. Having routines and an organized house does help, but then life happens and it’s hard to get back to or stick with those. At least partially, I know I just need to have more patience and grace with both myself and my children. I practice that every day. Life is never perfect, this is not an exact science, and the solutions are going to be different for everyone based on their personal circumstances. But I do wish there were better supports out there for people like us. It’s getting better, but there’s still a HUGE shortage of specialists and resources.

[@chelseynegron]

Totally agree. But as alternative POV, I'm grateful I have insight into how my kiddo thinks and what he struggles with. It's harder to help, but with empathy comes understanding and the motivation to help.

[@preetkherasahota7550]

Thank you Doc !❤

[@DoctorJacque]

My pleasure!

[@larshalle]

Thank you for this very helpful video! I am diving into your other videos as well, but I was hoping you might be able to provide some wisdom on our situation: Our 10-year old son with ADHD has a 13-year old brother with Asperger's. While we, the parents, do our best to allow our 10-year old to be himself and limit negative feedback, it is incredibly difficult for our 13-year old to curb his responses. Sadly, most of our 10-year old's negative feedback is likely to come from his brother. How can we effectively encourage our Asperger's child to reduce his responses to our ADHD child, or discourage our ADHD child from excessive interaction with our Asperger's child? It has become a tremendous stressor in our already challenging parenting dynamic.

[@my_set_apart_life]

These are very good tips. Thank you!

[@DoctorJacque]

You’re welcome! I appreciate you watching and commenting! 💚

[@CaCa-e7s]

Do you have any account that is in Spanish so my mom knows about ADHD and how it affects me

[@sonalparekh7237]

Perfectly expressed thankyou so much

[@simonerea6681]

This was so well meaning and positive. But it does sound like it's come from someone who doesn't have an ADHD child. I giggled as I listened as I do EVERYTHING that was advised in terms of how to keep your house, screen time rules, visual ques, parental controls - all of it. NONE OF IT IS WORKING. Which lead me to these videos lol. HELP

[@gardengypsy70]

Hello grandparent, struggling with ADHD herself, with almost 15 years of recovery under my belt, at 54 years old in menopause currently fostering, my almost 4 year-old granddaughter who has undiagnosed ADHD (per the neurologist. She’s too young to actually diagnose) developmental delay, possible oppositional defiance disorder, and I am struggling. FAMILY SERVICES has done absolutely nothing to help, even though I’ve explained them that I have no experience in dealing with a child with these issues. Insurance doesn’t help, she has an IEP at school that has been chiseled down to 30 minutes a day once a week.

[@DoctorJacque]

Hi and thank you for watching. Sometimes it can be so hard to access the right services and support. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and you are doing the very best you can. PCIT or parent management training might be helpful therapies. Sometimes it's tough to find a therapist who specializes in ADHD in young kids. If you live near a metro area, children's hospitals usually have those expertise and are covered by most insurances.

[@MissErsko]

Thank you so much for making this video!

[@DoctorJacque]

Glad it was helpful!

[@lifeonaplate]

This is such a great video. Thanks for the great direction.

[@DoctorJacque]

So glad you found it helpful!

[@whereseve2]

Good stuff. Thx for it!

[@DoctorJacque]

Thanks for watching! Glad to have you here 😊

[@oxforddictonary]

(In case you missed it in the Description) 0:45 - #5 - What is different for kids with ADHD? 3:33 - What kids with ADHD need most 3:50 - How can parents actually do this? 5:32 - #4 - How to reduce stress and conflict 7:50 - What to do when things get difficult 10:20 - #3 - Dealing with big emotions and reactions 14:19 - #2 - Are there positive things about ADHD? 17:30 - 2 important things for parents of kids with ADHD 18:45 - The flipside of ADHD in kids 20:18 - #1 - Don't underestimate the effects of this! 22:20 - What you can do when you need more support

[@FutureFBI19]

How do you parent a child with ADHD when you the parent struggle with it as well? It’s a struggle

[@useramom-k2v]

Your vidoes are awesome. We just discovered our 5 year old had adhd. He is seeming to have a difficult time at school. Schools in india are not so aware of adhd. I dont know if he is taking that frustration on his two year old sister at home. Even when she is doing something calmly, he keeps hitting her and disturbing her..i got him a exercise ball, he will be running around the house in that and whenever he comes near her, he hits her. I lose control n hit him back. Im able to understand every other problem of his, but this one is too difficult to understand

[@miakarakaki4062]

Any resources for 2 years olds that have experienced emotional trauma

[@mariceldagotdot4813]

How do you get the school to educate the teachers more so they get a deeper understanding of ADHD. I feel like general education teachers don’t really know what it is. And so they give punishments to our children like they would a child without it. 😢

[@karraleefouts4974]

So what do these children do later when the world &/or workforce does not adapt or make accommodations for them?

[@RasikaNanayakkara]

Thank you

[@Tazxoqwet]

I just got the true symphathy

[@angiesmith6928]

How do you help a kid with ADHD at school? We seem to do well at home, but school is so horrible right now.

[@DoctorJacque]

This is a great topic for a video. We don't have any that are specific to school. It makes sense that some kids will have more trouble at school than at home. There can be alot of reasons for it. I think one of the big ones is the lack of 1:1 attention and direction, due to being in a class of kids. And for the way some kids' brains work, that can make things alot harder. ADHD and school is a pretty broad topic. Are there specific questions that would be helpful to answer in a video?

[@angiesmith6928]

@@DoctorJacque I'm thinking more specifically to gadgets or tricks parents have found that help their kid. I am just trying it out, but I just heard about a countdown watch I think might help my son check his patience with his teachers. I just feel like there is a lot on how to handle kids (talking to them and all that), but I can't seem to replicate what we have at home (that works). I'm also afraid I'll have to sort of "teach" his new teacher every year about ways that work well with him. I want to come up with ideas to help him help himself.

[@ambermartin9596]

This helps so much. Thank you

[@lesliehill3025]

What is a example of executive function

[@bobbiebrynt1]

Do you think we should advocate for accommodations for our adhd kids?

[@DoctorJacque]

Depends on the child and their specific needs. For formal accommodations in school, their ADHD symptoms generally have to interfere with learning. But I do think as parents, it's great to be open to doing things differently in ways that work with an ADHD when things are tough.

[@napturallydd83]

How do you parent a child with ADHD when you as a parent are struggling with it?

[@MisaKaye]

Hmm I have adhd and although I thought at the time of listening it was good information after 10min you kept giving more and more advice and I just forgot everything. Is there a more simple video that will make it easier for me to understand and remember?

[@undertheriverstone]

Yes, the simpler video is called fetch pen and paper.

[@linbron2018]

What should a parent due once we get an IEP from school?

[@DoctorJacque]

I think next steps depend on the specific situation. Kids will generally qualify for an IEP when physical, cognitive, emotional, or behavioral conditions interfere with their learning. Its purpose is to make accommodations and interventions for their specific needs while at school. An IEP can vary greatly child to child depending on their specific challenges. I would first recommend parents clarify their questions and the goals of the IEP with the school, so everyone can be on the same page and work together. If challenges mentioned on the IEP also occur and get in the way in other contexts like at home or socially, I recommend seeking additional professional support outside of the school too.

[@samisparkleheart]

​@DoctorJacque how often are IEPs updated?

[@autobotdiva9268]

schools dont care about adhd as they are left brained schools. i learned years agomy youngest son has dysgraphia and the school doesnt care either. i had to do it all on myself. i agree,pajamas vs an argument is not worth it. just put a t-shirt on and go to bed

[@LauraTimmisArt]

Great advice. Now what do you do if you are a parent with adhd trying to parent a child with adhd? 😂

[@hervva]

i need to watch this vid with subtitles and your hands movements make it really difficult for me to focus on what is being said

[@abigailwurtz9106]

The music makes it hard to listen to.

[@Limlani]

I agree

[@maryf5337]

I don't agree.

[@zehniyat6410]

About what?

[@pamallen859]

What don't u agree with?