What English people SAY vs What English people MEAN! | Passive Aggressive Business English!

[@EnglishwithLucy]

British people like to avoid saying what we really mean at work and in emails! What we SAY vs what we really mean in business English! ⭐ The Business English Course Offer: bit.ly/BusinessCourseOffer 📝 *GET THE FREE LESSON PDF* _here_ 👉🏼 bit.ly/BizMeaningPDF 📊 *FIND OUT YOUR ENGLISH LEVEL!* _Take my level test here_ 👉🏼 bit.ly/EnglishLevelTest12 👩🏼‍🏫 *JOIN MY ONLINE ENGLISH COURSES:* englishwithlucy.teachable.com/courses - _We have launched our B1 and B2 Complete English Programmes!_

[@theheros4863]

Thank s

[@reshmaselvaraj]

Every formal email I'm going to receive hereafter will only remind me of this video.😂

[@MuhammadAli-uv3gs]

My lovely teacher 🤲🤲

[@cogitated]

It’s not just Brits! I’m an Aussie and use these phrases at work when I’m frustrated!

[@mehyiddinemeslem3842]

Aïd Moubarak 🐑🐏🐑🐏🐑🐏🐑🐏 عيد أضحى مبارك

[@hooligan9794]

Regards is perfectly fine and is not remotely negative. In large organisations you deal with tons of people you hardly or even don't at all know. Regards is completely fine.

[@maritaberndt6200]

😂 you think?

[@hooligan9794]

@@maritaberndt6200 I do. I have used it many times and received it hundreds of times. Standard business sign-off

[@Ken_oh545]

hooligan is spot on​@@maritaberndt6200

[@garybutler8316]

@@maritaberndt6200 It is definitely fine

[@endlessstudent3512]

Even if I do not know persons, I still would use "best regards". Just regards I would consider impolite.

[@StephanLuik1]

When I was young, I wrote a piece of software and showed a demo to an English client. His response was: "That's lovely. Now, what we would like to have..." As I am Dutch, I rather like to deal with people that just say what they mean.

[@hen-rey]

Than come to Germany Unbrauchbarer Müll! Unusable trash!

[@lerolerolerolerolero256]

Also the words "Gentle reminder"... It has such a passive aggressive tone to it. It's like when you're clearly frustrated when someone hasn't completed the task but don't want to show it.

[@EnglishwithLucy]

Totally agree 😂

[@zhazhalove]

That is very not a gentle term. I always using it. I thought, it is nice and soft to remind my team

[@allthingsmireille]

Hahaha, you’re quite right! This is one of the phrases I use the most when needing info asap.

[@JustMrFox]

Totally disagree. What would sound not passive aggressive? “Hey, do that stuff I told you yesterday about”?

[@jimarcher5255]

In the US, “If you have the time”, means “I need this now”.

[@teawithtams6596]

When I was working in London, I learned that when my colleagues say "fair enough", they really mean "you're wrong, but I don't want to argue with you anymore".

[@hens0w]

To be fair "fair enough" has some element of I bow to your judgement (or at least this won't cause me problems). Where as if I really strongly disagree: "OK. fine,"

[@teawithtams6596]

@@hens0w fair enough :D

[@andreagriffiths3512]

Fair enough in Australia is more of a conversation ender. Sometimes gives you an opinion you don’t like/value/believe - you reply with ‘fair enough’ means you can’t even be bothered discussing it. It doesn’t even mean the other person is wrong and it’s one I use a fair bit….oooops

[@bromptondevice7685]

@@andreagriffiths3512 It's also used when some one queries another's decision without knowing the full story. Eg "Why's the storeroom locked?" "Accounts keep coming up and taking all our staples because their stores clerk is a useless ****** who doesn't order enough." "Ah, fair enough. Can I borrow the key?" "Sure".

[@rvrmn2682]

Well, I guess this explains why I always subconsciously interpreted this as, "I'm too intellectually lazy, smug, and self-satisfied to examine the issue any further."

[@docbrown2045]

My manager once had British vs. American experience. After some bad meeting he and the other guy were making a coffee and talking about it, he said "That was a very interesting conversation", and the guy replied "I'm American, you can just say how it is. And it was shit".

[@honeyyy8]

Hahahaha, that was funny! Thank you for sharing!

[@dvvna]

Same statement, different delivery

[@altamasparsanov9181]

Hahaha

[@irodaburkhan]

Can't stop laughing xD

[@anndeecosita3586]

@@axemansjazz6670 I think with whether Americans tend to be direct, it depends on what part of the country.

[@ACGreyhound04]

I think the phrase “with all due respect” is typically used prior to disagreeing with someone who outranks you. It carries the connotation of “I disagree, but will do it your way because you’re the boss.”

[@drunvert]

Basically, verbatim

[@alexstoyanov6108]

Since I have an override authority in my position, I use it when I`m going to do it my way despite the boss.

[@Taladar2003]

With all due respect basically means "I think absolutely no respect is due in this case but I am going to phrase it so we both have plausible deniability on that statement".

[@martinchorich1621]

With all due respect, which is to say no respect at all…

[@Ken_oh545]

A classic example of this phrase : with all due respect, that is hands down the stupidest idea I have heard in about 15 years.

[@ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣΑΛΕΞ-ο7η]

I remember that wonderful quote Hercule Poirot said , while he was talking to Linnet Doyle (Emily Blunt) , which was this : " I listen to what you say , but I hear what you mean " .

[@anapantovic6859]

😂😂

[@catherine4385]

Oh! I like it, I like it and am going to adopt it! 😊

[@PatGilliland]

I'm a Canadian with British parents so I speak both dialects. I dare not share this video with my work colleagues - they'll find out what I'm _really_ saying.

[@floatingsara]

@patGillland I work with Canadian colleagues and sometimes I wonder if they do the same thing. So you say no, apparently 😅

[@stanleymccleave9684]

Although I am a native English speaker (American version) I find Lucy so utterly charming that I've been watching several lessons. I like the clean style of the videos, all well presented. Lucy speaks so beautifully that it is a joy to listen to her subtle humor that is at times self-deprecating and always with a light touch. Lucy is gorgeous as well, always put-together in an elegant but friendly manner. I wish her continued success and my warmest regards.

[@dmitriylee8925]

Absolutely agree, I also admire Lucy, she is constantly making so lovely english lessons for us, with joy and pleasure. With her we all definitely should start speaking english. I´m currently waiting news from her farm and wish her all the best.

[@C.I366]

Utterly indeed

[@C.I366]

Someone is hers faithfully..

[@bobtahoma]

Respectfully, I am not sure you can consider yourself a native English speaker as an American. You would do well to watch a few of her videos to learn how to speak English properly. I am sure you will find it quite colourful. Regards.

[@JuanGonzalez-hv6vs]

This man is in love.

[@AUSCHWETTE]

I have been in business in English speaking worlds for decades and found that regards, sincerely, yours truly....... mean nothing more than ' the end of conversation '.

[@АлёнаЕгорова-ъ4х]

thanks now I know I have to translate from my native into English and further from English into English! So lovely

[@michaelc.1710]

Native speaker here (English person learning Portuguese so not sure why this came up in my feed but sounded interesting ). The problem with some of these is that they’re also used sincerely eg “that’s an interesting perspective” or “we’ll take that into consideration”. In person you’ll hopefully tell the difference in tone and body language but good luck sensing that from an email, even we can’t always.

[@wintersnowowen2254]

For this the English tend to use really and actually a lot. So instead of “that’s an interesting perspective” which might be seen as being PA, they will say “that’s a really interesting perspective,actually”.

[@modo2213]

I hope no one takes this video seriously

[@DianaT-ph6iz]

yes. if intonation conveys sarcasm or not - it all depends on intonation and context.

[@HxTurtle]

true! in Canada (as far as I got it), "let's circle back to this later" is more of an acknowledgement of being overworked and/or overwhelmed right now or not yet having done the necessary research on this topic in order to engage in a meaningful conversation. it usually means that there's real intent to get back to it at some other point.

[@_DeadlyNightshade_]

As a non-native English speaker who likes the language and have lived in the UK, I believe certain sentences can be understood as sarcasm in certain situations as opposed to being strictly malicious or hateful. For those who don't know, the British sense of humour is basically sarcasm most of the time. Thank you Lucy, KIND Regards 😁

[@JOHNTHEWHISK]

I have laid into some people in response to their passive aggressive responses. No good company resorts to those type of emails. Only sh*t companies who don't know what they're doing.

[@paolamura3497]

Yes..sarcasm. but it's so amusing most of the time.

[@ashton1952]

As a native speaker of English I don't see anything wrong with using 'regards', it's a polite and simple way to end an email. All depends on the intention of the speaker; some people have to use tactics in order to feel superior and that entirely reflects on their insecurities and whatever other personal issues.

[@adedow1333]

I use this one as a passé i-dont-have-strong-feelings-about-you kind of sign-off

[@LilyAmongThorns]

I think it might depend on the kind of relationship one has with the sender. If you have a deep connection with them (mother-in-law, or longtime friend, or even a coworker that you’ve always had a very good relationship with for example) it might be sending that passive aggressive message of “you’ve just become very insignificant in my life”.

[@jonchambers131]

@Ashton - the standard phrase is 'kind regards' so if you just say 'regards' it means you're making a concious decision to not be kind!

[@ashton1952]

@@jonchambers131 Yes, maybe we shouldn't leave room for doubt 😉

[@micheledix2616]

As an English speaking person ( first langauge) and when I write 'regards or cheers' I really mean regards or cheers and not any other under meaning. Maybe it is because I am on the older side and my education was decades ago

[@joebloggs2473]

Thank goodness I worked in a Dutch environment. Straight talking saves time which saves money and is more efficient. Going round the garden is so English.

[@oliverv305]

I'm british and it annoys me. Just say it as it is and get to the point ffs.

[@MoD_Master_Of_Disaster_]

Grin, that’s what we’re know for, or accused of, depending on who you ask. I’m from Amsterdam.

[@sneezyfido]

It depends on where you work. I've been the only guy in my dpt and surrounded by 80% female dpts for some years. The few men were constantly walking on eggshells because anything could get the whole coven on our necks. It could even happen when a colleague was frustrated about drama with another woman (always multiple threads going on) but couldn't speak up there due to hierarchy. So she'd lash out at whoever she could target - usually one of the men. HR (100% female) were involved but their stance was basically that the men should be more understanding and supportive. Reports were never filed in any of the women's dossiers (unless it was someone that HR had drama with). Imagine doing an internal audit and having to report a significant issue. Or explaining the downsides of any proposed plan.

[@brockside1575]

Well, I’m from the North and hardly lasted five minutes of this bullshit. I worked in an office environment for many years, in fact as the top person. We never had any of this rubbish, we just said, yes I agree or nope, I don’t agree. I guess she can make money out of this, for Christ’s sake.

[@tomodomo1000]

It's great, but my company is strange. They never plan ahead; they just build something and try to adjust (apparently, it is cheaper). They waste a lot of time in meetings (because management must do something). They love to make new rules for the smallest and most meaningless things, printing on paper everywhere.

[@siangmingalexlau8220]

Business English can sometimes sound like passive-aggressive contrived politeness.

[@sedwards2207]

It is.

[@thisismetoday]

A cause of many of my misunderstandings between my British manager and me - a German as direct as they come. He never bloody says what he means, and I never bloody understand what he wants. So frustrating. (And I am sure half of the time I offend him without meaning to.)

[@BBKing1977]

"I'm just looping [insert name here] in on this." I'm not sure if this one is used much in the UK, but I see it in Canada a lot. This one depends on context. Sometimes this is genuine as you just want to include an additional person, but sometimes it's a passive aggressive way of saying "this has nothing to do with me, and I don't know why you sent it to me at all, but here's the person you should've contacted in the first place".

[@druscanam]

Hahaha this is gold 🤣 😂 Somewhat related, I had a friend that got blown off on a date. She appoligised and explained through a text message, that she couldn't meet their prior arrangement because she was tried and needed to have an early nights sleep. He replied with "Rest in peace". 🤣🤣🤣

[@nowshinsstudio6273]

😂😂😂

[@pedroarthurbarbosa]

Is Rest well aggressive? I use it so much 😴 🛌 haha

[@druscanam]

@@pedroarthurbarbosa No, it's because Rest In Peace in English is typically an expression used when someone has died, is often said at a funeral and sometimes engraved on someone's tombstone. It's is also often abrivated as R.I.P. So saying to someone "rest in peace" may seem like caring sentiment for someone who needs a good sleep however it's also inadvertently implying they should never wake up, in other words, die. So, basically it's telling them to drop dead without actually saying so. Furthermore because its literal meaning is quite endearing, one cannot be accused of being obnoxious when saying such a horrendous thing.

[@francescaminart6308]

@@druscanam In 🇪🇸 D.E.P Descanse en paz (in latin R.I.P.)

[@GeorgeCross-i7c]

I'd probably answer RIP if person plans a date with me and a bit too late announces they aren't coming.

[@lucyhardman2267]

I once met a woman who spoke exclusively in corporate jargon. I didn't have a clue what she was talking about half the time but it was fascinating to watch. I honestly don't know how she could remember it all.

[@margaretgreenwood4243]

When I was a secretary back in the 1960s, my boss, a highly educated man, would dictate letters to me which I took down in Shorthand. His language was sometimes very passive aggressive couched in the terms you describe. I could hardly write for laughing at the clever poisoned darts aimed at the recipients

[@ComplainingIsRecreation]

Wow he must have made quite the impression for you to be so clearly in love with him some 60 years later lol.

[@vasili9756]

SO much need it, as I am not a native speaker, and I was always wondering what they really mean, hovering over the earth with a big question mark over my head!!!! Thank you!!!!!!

[@Haarhzh]

The “I’ll take that into consideration” reminds me of a sketch in the British TV-series “Yes, Minister”, where a distinction is made between “take into consideration” and “take into active consideration”. Lovely!

[@TheCimbrianBull]

Presumably uttered by Sir Humphrey Appleby!

[@Ominous89]

I once ended a letter with "with mutual disdain, yours faithfully."

[@fozzytheflyingmuppet]

Loved your video! This is probably the most difficult for us Dutch people. We're known to just say what we mean and not beat around the bush.

[@enjoystraveling]

The same with the Germans, where I lived for about 10 years. At least you don’t have to guess what is the underlined meaning.

[@enjoystraveling]

I meant to write underlying meeting

[@sommer1982official]

Same here, I’m German 😉

[@LettersFromAFriend]

​@@enjoystravelingAs a German, I can say that "interesting idea" means "you must be crazy" unless the sentence is continued.

[@johnjekyllson28]

The way you say “It seems there has been a misunderstanding” gave me chills.

[@calciumchannel]

This video is so needed. I wish I knew all this stuff before I came to Britain. It is not only in corpos people talk like this, in every day life it is also common.

[@stevensprung-wo3pk]

In a business context, "let's play it by ear" means to approach a situation without a fixed plan, adapting and responding to circumstances as they arise rather than following a strict agenda or roadmap. It involves being flexible, reading the room, and adjusting the strategy based on real-time developments, feedback, or the specific dynamics of the moment. For instance: In a meeting: It might mean skipping parts of a planned agenda if the conversation takes an unexpected but valuable direction. In negotiations: It can mean being open to pivoting based on the other party’s responses rather than sticking rigidly to a prepared script or strategy. In project management: Playing it by ear could involve making adjustments as new information surfaces, rather than adhering strictly to a timeline or process. This approach allows for responsiveness and can be especially useful when dealing with uncertain, fast-changing, or complex scenarios. However, it also requires good judgment, quick thinking, and an ability to stay calm and focused without a rigid framework to rely on.

[@stefan_sth]

That's the disadvantage of not communicating clearly: two different explanations 😮 Language is complicated. Every language ;)

[@stevensprung-wo3pk]

@@stefan_sth I disagree, language is neutral, like a tool, if you only know the hammer, every challenge is a nail.

[@matthewfusaro2590]

You just reaffirmed why I hate the corporate world. I frequently use "regards" at the end of my email but never gave much thought to what it could mean to the other person. I'll have to reconsider using "regards" in the future.

[@anapantovic6859]

Not a native, and to me this feels like the most appropriate ending to a letter sent to a business correspondent. A bit sterile, but neutral. "Warmest" sounds waaay too insencere... 🤔

[@jerry2357]

I always use "best wishes".

[@O2life]

Regards is neutral in the US. More like, "I don't like ending emails, but this is the end of this email."

[@td3807]

I had a British co-worker. She is emotionally intelligent but very passive aggressive. The phrases in this video remind me of her.

[@snich63]

I think the “Regards” warning is specific to British English. “Regards” is is the standard email closing in New Zealand. One that missed this list is “Kindly” e.g. Kindly fill in this form and return it. Using “kindly” instead of “please” telegraphs some subtle snark. I’ve advised numerous non-native English speakers not to use “kindly” as an alternative.

[@thetrashmaster1352]

Same in Australia as well, "Regards" is probably the most common way to sign off even with customers.

[@phineaspepper3530]

Same in the U.S. Ending with just "Regards" or "Best" is common and doesn't carry bad connotations.

[@amandajane8227]

@@thetrashmaster1352 If I am happy with the service I am getting I use warm regards or kind regards. If I am pissed off I just use regards. I guess the other ozzies I communicate with may be missing this.

[@Ben-Hollingbery]

Native english speaker here, I use these all the time at work and you have to qualify them. For example "That's an interesting perspective, we'll circle back to that in a little while" means "I like that idea, let's put it to one side for now so we can focus on the main task(s) first.

[@AlexKarasev]

That's quite good. Let's put that at the top of our "B" list = It's a bit disappointing. Let's never speak of it ever again :)

[@nafslee]

I use Kind Regards when its a person I haven't emailed before or not familiar with and Regards regularly for everyone else because it sounds less formal. I don't use it for a passive aggressive undertone.

[@zekaay]

So true, oh how I hate that environment. I am a non-native speaker, but did my first degree in English Lit. and later on went on to work with native speakers in office environments and quickly understood what people really mean by certain expressions. My god, I am so glad I am out that environment, don't think I can watch the video till the end it's very triggering.

[@userwsyz]

I have never thought there is a difference between kind regards and regards. In the US, I think people just use regards at the end of emails as a habit or formality rather than meaning anything.

[@3006Ave]

I use regards at work all of the time.

[@rw80]

It’s really an English thing. Not British, but English.

[@RickDistance]

I think "regards" is just short for common use.

[@anndeecosita3586]

I’m American and at least in my circles we use regards in more conversation than written. “Give my regards to your grandmother” means like tell your grandmother I said hello. I would write sincerely or best wishes on a letter or email rather than regards.

[@1Thunderfire]

I have literally never heard of it being aggressive in any way in the UK. I sign off all my work emails with regards. It's polite enough without going over the top. P.S Only arrived here with curiosity about the thumbnail.

[@socialexperiment8045]

“Tonality” also plays a huge part when mentioning these sentences!

[@AlbertNonime]

Tonality in an e-mail... thats an interesting idea to be considered.

[@jakemarcus9999]

In Finland we say what we mean and that's it.

[@andreasgoetz5598]

should be same everywhere 😊

[@MadokaKima]

Thank you! As a foreigner in the UK working in a business environment, this is very helpful. One of the ones I hate the most is "I'm happy for you to do smth". I so wish they said directly "please do this", instead of making it sound like they're generosity delegating the task to me, when in truth they really don't want to do it!

[@KNOWLEDGEIsPOWER-t1y]

Yes! British people will also say, "Would you like to do (a task)" when they actually mean you have to do it.

[@like90]

I do use “thanks for the input” and I literally mean that I’m thankful for their input and I plan on doing something about their concern.

[@lemsip207]

If I thought something was a ridiculous suggestion, I would rather say "I don't think so" rather than something like "Let's stick a pin in that." It's direct without being rude.

[@Ghost_Os]

I'm a native speaker. I must say, I actually use number 5 (interesting perspective) in both ways; both the passive aggressive version given here (which I honestly try to make very clear in a teasing sort of way that I think what was just said is absurd or patently insane) as well as the very direct, exactly-as-worded usage: I genuinely find the perspective interesting or intriguing. Number 15 (and the video thumbnail); yes to 'warm(est) regards', yes to 'kind regards', but I actually use 'regards' in the same way as 'kind regards'; as a generically friendly expression. Occasionally, I will escalate a 'regards' to a 'kindest' or 'warmest' regards.

[@Andreschannel_SA]

I listened to every one of these fourteen passive aggressive phrases, and can't believe you went through them all without a single expletive in your explanations. Good job. Thank you.

[@DarthIckus]

I like the use of saying "take care" to customers and workmates, particularly on the phone. It's as good as saying "f*ck off!"

[@leaannpedigo8944]

Somethings clearly going on in your head. I don’t think that people should ever be pushed Somethings clearly going on in your head. I don’t think that people should ever be pushed to this point. But it does happen more today than ever in history. Especially these young people out Their pretty much have no boundaries I see a lot of this same thing with raising their kids people tell their kids everything by the time they’re 12 they start acting out all the stuff they have learned from home then parents friends then certain family members that act or think the same way.

[@kevins2684]

I’m a native English speaker now retired from business and I’ve almost always used just ‘Regards,’ to sign emails followed by my first name. I have taken the view that ‘warmest regards’ might be assuming a presumption of friendship or intimacy with the recipient which does not exist. Even ‘kind regards’ sounds to me like I’m addressing a subordinate or inferior colleague/acquaintance. There seems to be an obsession these days with a need to be ‘kind’ or ‘warm & fuzzy’. This has led to terrible social awkwardness and misunderstanding.

[@clivepygott3883]

You missed one of my favourites (that I have been know to use myself) "I hear what you say" - which means 'I've heard what you said, but I thoroughly intend to ignore it from now on'

[@lemsip207]

I overhear what you say.

[@TheHgk1]

Thank you very much Lucy. I've never worked in the UK - in fact, I've never even been to the UK. And your video was the best motivation for me not to change anything in the future.

[@azhersamin3387]

In the next video, you should discuss the alternatives about those phrases. It'll be helpful for the learners who want to learn English. By the way, I appreciate your work.

[@jessygt4414]

Thanks for setting up the schedule.

[@hydrolito]

Americans say two weeks vacation or two weeks off they don't say two weeks holiday unless it is a holiday period such as over Christmas and New Year's, when school is out is called Christmas vacation.

[@evaag]

OMG!!!! 😱 Do you know how many times I ended my emails with 'Regards' to my Irish manager.... Now I understand many of her emails answers. ...

[@MrsDesiremore]

Let's stick a pin in this for now - can also mean: let's preserve our energy and deal with this challenging thing later. It works well when trying to diffuse a conflict. I think it's a great practice when you need to prioritise an urgent matter over a corrective action which can wait

[@ryanb9873]

LOL no. Do you also think the tooth fairy is real?

[@thrillereighties8241]

I find "let's stick a pin in this for now" very arrogant. It is a patronizing way someone will tell others they have seniority and authority and he or she is killing an argument or idea right there and then. It is typically used by people who like the sound of their own voice and have an overinflated opinion of themselves. It is a nice way to say you don't matter, just shut up already.

[@whitewave09]

All super common in Canada and I see non-native English speakers getting trapped by this all the time. Thank you for this.

[@va3ngc]

The only one I haven't seen here in Canada is "stick a pin in it". Also I think people here also always universally use "Regards" to end an email. The rest seem to informal.

[@videosaleatoriosdorb7050]

"Jargon: specialized language, employed with the purpose to *exclude* other people". The words that I was looking for! Thank you A LOT, Lucy!

[@xochilguevara3429]

This video put me on edge.

[@joyc9844]

I really appreciate the timeframes you put on your videos it makes it easy to navigate

[@EnglishwithAntara]

Also the phrase 'Thanks in advance.' It pretty much means that you’re expecting them to do whatever you’re asking, and they pretty much have to do it.

[@EtherealSunset]

Sometimes, but not always. I sometimes use it if I know the person reading it will have to do something, but I don't know if I'll ever get the opportunity to thank them later as if I email a second time, it may be a different person and I want to make sure they're thanked for helping me.

[@ashikihsan1946]

Lucy, I love these clarification words of you in Business English. That is good for me to learn to deal with anyone in business or in daily life. Learning English from you is precious for me Lucy

[@orchiddo1]

That's implications. And this lesson guides us to understand these ones easily and correctly. It's wonderful.

[@ColinHarvey78]

Love it. I always regard “warmest regards” with suspicion - it either means the writer is A Bit Odd or a snake, maybe both. Watch also for the punctuation when signing off an email. A full stop after someone’s name (especially if they don’t normally) is a sign of extreme displeasure. E.g. Regards Colin. Means “I am so f**king angry with you it’s lucky we’re not in the same room”. 😂😇

[@xXJ4FARGAMERXx]

Wtf just a simple typo or autocorrect can lead to this much hate??

[@Boogeymanjw]

@@xXJ4FARGAMERXx yea thats scuffed...

[@JOHNTHEWHISK]

I love the American "thanks for reaching out" which is a fairly recent invention. What it really means is "thanks for being a f*cking nuisance"

[@O2life]

As an American, I'd take a neutral American "regards" over a saccharine "warmest regards" any day! "Warmest regards" reads like a threat.

[@funeupizzerino5413]

Omg. I just recognise that germans really really communicate different. I repectfully disagree with most of your statements. This means for me: i fully respect you and your opinion, but my opinion is different. Thank you for this eye opener.

[@marcuswilson007]

Watching this confirms my life choice to run my own business. I kindly say exactly what I mean and people take me as I am or just don't do business with me.

[@robread-jones3698]

I've used 'Regards' for many years without knowing this. Armed with this newly acquired knowledge, in future, I shall ensure I continue to use 'Regards'.

[@tessat338]

It's interesting to see how British business-speak influences American business-speak and vice-versa. "Stick a pin in it" means literally to post something on a message board by fastening a piece of paper on it with a pin. As we all know, messages on a board quickly go out of date and get covered up by other messages. This polite, formal, passive-aggressive way of speaking is because we all have to keep working together day in and day out and we can't blow up relationships without serious fall-out. This style of speaking gives everyone reasonable acknowledgement and allows people to feel that they have been heard, if possibly not fully understood. It allows people to disagree and to still continue on with the job.

[@mikoajswiety8149]

I use some of these phrases REALLY MEANING what I say (Eg. "It seems there's been a misunderstanding". I did not know that you can understand it in any other way. And now you tell me that I was rude because my English interlocutor understood something that I have not say). I wonder if you could provide us with phrases which we can use instead those, so that our interlocutor understands that there really has been a misunderstanding (sorry for my English, it is very poor).

[@deeskaggs4087]

just say “I don’t get it.”

[@guntramblohm4179]

Poor language skills give you some leeway, or at least plausible deniability.

[@DieezahArts]

If I say " It seems there's been a misunderstanding..." in most contexts it means "How could you be that dumb?" or "You already have the relevant information, how come you're not tak8ng it into account?" and it works for social media comments in professional groups as well as for PMs who still insist on sending me Canadian French translation projects right after being reminded they have my info on file and that this is not one of my working language variants...

[@oh2sail]

This American lived for a year in Cambridge 30 years ago. I remember thinking, several times every day (!!) that someone was insulting me in a passive aggressive way, but I’m one that always likes to think the best of people. I finally became good friends with a native, and when I brought it up to her I was rather shocked when she told me, “oh, yes. Everyone IS insulting you every day.”

[@phil4986]

This video was alot of fun. Clearly ,at one time or another,you have had to use all of these phrases. Your expression betraying your memory of how those few people genuinely deserved it ,was priceless.

[@craidiefin]

"With all due respect, of which there is none" Is how I've understood that one.

[@C.I366]

With all due respect...I don't like what you did, but don't want to offend you.

[@whatevergoesforme5129]

I think all cultures tend to avoid being too direct so polite language was created to avoid hurting the feelings of others too much. Of course, many can be tactless, but those who want to be seen as civil/polite needs to be careful with their wording. But even if the Brits use this kind of polite language as shown in this video, the true meaning is still clear, especially when you hear the word "but." In my Asian world, our language can too indirect that foreigners can't really catch the true meaning of our words . We don't use polite phrases to soften the blow. We use paragraphs at times to avoid being too blunt LOL.

[@penelopetoniaccini8783]

I learnt 95% of this by working in the bank in Dublin, I learnt fast and thought it was brilliant language, however I wish I'd known the real meaning behind each phrase as you explain it in this video, so as to use each even better. I can't remember the amount of times I used 'as per my previous email' and 'for your future reference'. In the banks where I worked people seemed to be particularly thick!!!

[@grahammcfadyenhill9555]

Well, after all, you were working in Dublin. I can assure you that there is no shortage of the "particularly thick" in Ireland. See, that's how it's done.

[@revenge425]

passive aggressiviness just fly out of my head... I am so dense that people need to tell me directly if I have done something wrong 😅

[@lemsip207]

Then, when you use these phrases but you actually mean what you say people take it the wrong way. So if you genuinely want to discuss something later and say so, the other person is surprised when you do.

[@jimistorm]

I occasionally use these phrases although I do not intend being passive aggressive. I am curious how a native speaker perceives these phrases if he knows that the sender is not a native English speaker?

[@kosmas7713]

I'm also curious about that

[@azhivago2296]

Ignore her - I'm British and her analysis is utterly cynical and glass-half-empty.

[@hyunjinsfadedamericanostai3431]

@@azhivago2296 Ikr but she's already mentioned in the comment section that this video is slightly exaggerated for entertainment purpose. She isn't that serious.

[@KBinturong]

It’s the context that matters. In her examples it’s easy to spot that the person is playing on words. In other context it’s not that harsh and used to ease what we have to say.

[@w.rhiannonm.4347]

@@azhivago2296 It's funny!

[@yellowcatmonkey]

i was hesitant to watch the lesson at first but i loved how non-toxic it turned out to be 😸💖good thing toxicity is quickly remedied by kindness 🌻poor souls that stuck in an endless sarcasm cycle really need a break.. it's such a noxious habit that sucks the life out of its host 🙈thank you lucy for the useful vocab and a funny approach 💖😸

[@Patrick462]

I though I was the master of the backhand compliment and passive aggressive communication, but Lucy you take it to the next level. I will say by the second half of my career I started just saying my "true thoughts" without the sugar coating, beating around the bush passive aggression.

[@tangerhouse8683]

Here in my non-native English country... if the speaker says something and means entirely opposite like in many examples quoted here.. we consider that person as (1) toxic or (2) don't know what he/she wants or (3) don't have the guts to speak his/her mind.

[@lukass1700]

Passive aggression is a sign of possessing a subordinate role within a hierarchy (child-parents or at the work). The earlier you realize the better, so you can step out.

[@liarunaway]

Right!? I watched the video and felt so triggered and I just stopped watching. I don’t want to become like this nor do I want surround myself to people like this.

[@ashton1952]

Lukas S absolutely agree; when people have to resort to this instead of just having the courage to be direct

[@raapyna8544]

The worst thing is, when I'm being direct and people assume I'm being passive-aggressive, because other people would only say such things sarcastically. I'm trying to be genuine and kind and people assume I hate them. 😅 I don't know if this is a problem with the society, or if I'm using my tone of voice wrong or something about my face

[@ashton1952]

@@raapyna8544 just smile more 😅 could be a tone situation; your tone being perfectly normal for you but it sounds snarkyish to someone from another culture/language background, especially if it's a call/messages and they can't see your face

[@KarlXiao18]

I tend to avoid using "regards" to end my e-mail, because I somehow suspect that this word has a meaning of "bugger off". Now this video just confirms my suspicion. This also explains why the few times I used this word in my e-mails, they always not went well.

[@YourNickIsTaken]

Very British Problems : Removing the "kind" from "kind regards" to let the recipient know you're absolutely bloody livid. 1:45 PM · Apr 10, 2015

[@EnglishwithLucy]

😂😂😂

[@oleksandrfesenko5975]

Thank you for the video! Turns out I am passive aggressive in my emails ending with ‘Regards’. Had no clue and nobody, even my friends, pointed that out to me. Changing my signature right now! Cheers!

[@ACGreyhound04]

My cousin, who is an American living and working in London, recently told me that if a British colleague says that your work is “fine”, what they really mean is that it’s terrible, and probably should be re-done.

[@twocents-Thomas-Zadro]

The funny thing is that Brits also use this kind of language when dealing with people outside their island, just to learn the hard way that it does not work. Tell a German, "That's interesting," and he will keep on speaking, excited about your positive feedback :-). I had several British line managers, and I can tell you that they learned very quickly that they had to say what they wanted or meant, as otherwise, nothing went the way they intended.

[@Cicelyize]

I’m a Spanish person working in the UK for the last 2 years and this video has increased my heart rate 😓 Passive aggression is most scary and toxic and I wouldn’t miss it if I moved away from this lovely country 😬

[@marynatimmylucyelsaleonie1031]

Very toxic indeed. I feel physically ill just listening to this 🤢

[@martymiller9514]

Perhaps we could just draw a veil over this for now?

[@sprogg2001]

We love to hate each other especially in the workplace 🤣

[@KonstantinEgorovSpb]

@@sprogg2001 Nice oxymoron 👍

[@arsikkbar]

Regards!

[@davidmarkwort9711]

We learned that in our English lessons in London, how to be polite and be facetious at the same time, we also learnt how Shakespeare used the language to insult. Always smile until you turn around, then show the disgusted face. Was useful at work.

[@grahammcfadyenhill9555]

When I end a note or letter with "Regards", what I really mean is "Get Stuffed". In this case I am in total agreement with Lucy. For example, my genteel Irish mother used terms like "striking" or "breathtaking" to describe some women. What she really meant was "uglier than a mud fence" or "she has been struck in the face by an entire load of lumber". She was a very kind woman.

[@gregvanpaassen]

My mother used to use "charming" ironically: "what a charming man". But said with an unironic inflection, so you had to pay attention.

[@antikrabe8646]

What about "best regards"? Is it like "kind regards" or something?

[@bsteven885]

I sometimes use the word "incredible" to hide my disgust or other negative feelings about someone or something.

[@CJFCarlsson]

I for one appreciate the attempts to keep any conversation polite.

[@Indy_at_the_beach]

"Circle back", "reach out" "actionable" and other words and phrases popularized in business schools push my button. Straightforward speech is more authentic and can still be used in a manner that does not insult or attack the listener.

[@resourcedragon]

And "take carriage of" and "hit the ground running". Yes, those phrases rub me up the wrong way too.

[@l0remipsum991]

Corporate people love their smarmy BS and often they feel 'smart' about it. You'll get punished however if you're being too honest.

[@johnjkiwi7818]

Hi Lucy. Another common business phrase is: "Your objection or input is noted". meaning it will be completely ignored and no further action will be taken.

[@alessandropoleschi9642]

This video is so accurate and truthful. With this said, I bloody hate passive aggressive language/attitude. I think it’s self- insulting. You’re not being polite; you just prove you don’t have the guts to speak your mind openly.

[@lemsip207]

Yes, you can be polite and straight at the same time. There is no need to resort to passive-aggressiveness.

[@karolainmorenorojas1290]

I’m living in England and this video help me a lot, I’m trying to study by my own so thanks Lucy for all your videos ❤️

[@alstaneva]

Thanks for this video. Had a lot of fun and laugh watching. Also the phrase ‘I appreciate your opinion’. I’m loving it and it’s nice to have a polite way of telling people you don’t really give a… care about their opinions 😂

[@deadman746]

Well, bless your heart.

[@ronls3578]

This video has made my day (a good way to start the week-end😄 !). The way you say the meanest things with the cutest smile is everything ! Yes it's a bit exaggerated but so fun to watch. Thanks Lucy and "warmest regards" !

[@unbelievable1983]

This is the foundation of diplomacy.

[@steviebarrett]

This video is too funny because it's absolutely spot on! I have heard and said pretty much all of these during my working life.

[@fionamainey7686]

I work in corporate Australia and agree with all you describe but have always used just regards when signing off and did not realise its conatation. I am going to pay more attention to what others use now and consider changing it to sincerely

[@lesharley3137]

I’m old enough to remember it’s changing from “sincerely” as being too formal to “kind regards” as more friendly. I literally know no-one who thinks kind regards is insulting. It’s at the bottom of 95% of emails I receive every day. Also work in Australia.

[@messinalyle4030]

I would anticipate that it could potentially confuse a person who was learning English as a second language to imply that this video would be helpful for anyone who "wants to move to an English-speaking country." Because not all of the expressions you mentioned necessarily have those meanings in all English speaking countries. It might be more accurate to say that these phrases have these meanings in the UK, and particularly in the corporate world. And obviously, whether or not some of these phrases should be interpreted as having such a passive-agressive meaning should depend on other context clues, such as what you know of the personality and the current emotional state of the person using them.

[@DieezahArts]

And in my experience, the way they're being used to hide (barely) feelings that aren't deemed socially acceptable may vary from one British city to the next and even from one type of corporate space to the next.

[@dengerzone2531]

Your eye contact ,sweet voice as well as pronunciation impress me maam

[@farshadmn4273]

i wish u would give the positive sides as well. what i mean is i have used and still using some of them "with all due respect" i have written this for my professors in universities and still for my boss! although there is a point. english is my second lan. and i have never lived in a english speaking countries but the jobs and universities i was in were always been in english!🤔😁...

[@emilybowne6043]

Omg, I've used some of those phrases in the past! My main one was: I'll put this under consideration. What I actually meant was never going to happen. Thanks for the video. Warmest regards 😸

[@patienceowusuwiredu375]

The “regards” bit got me laughing. I do that a lot without knowledge of it's passivity😂 Thanks, Lucy. I enjoyed this lesson too.

[@billdavies6463]

And so do I, and many other people. It only causes offence if you believe those that claim it is aggressive, which it is not.

[@daless3526]

@@billdavies6463 I use it all the time in emails. Hope nobody is thinking I am telling them off.

[@kme3894]

what about kind regards, is that bad?

[@mothwaltz4163]

@@kme3894 Lucy mentioned that "kind regards" means "You're ok. We're good".

[@Geedz806]

I tend to use them ironically - the angrier I am the warmer my regards

[@stephenevelyn1571]

After 21 years of work in the US, not once have I sent or received correspondence ending with "regards" or any variation there of. "Sincerely" "Respectfully" or "Very Respectfully" Is the standard ending to correspondence.

[@jaroslawlukaszewicz]

"It's a valid point - and your point is taken". Thanks Lucy, you're nearly the best channel on the entire network! Cheers!

[@Isleofskye]

Yes, Lucy is my 11th favourite Channel..

[@hunchbackaudio]

For a Dutch speaker, learning English is easy, finding out the actual meaning, behind the meaning of the words, a nightmare. They consider us rude for speaking flat out, but maybe they mean something else with that also, who knows?